Collected Stories

It

The little joke she played on him created a misunderstanding, brought on a coolness, grew into a quarrel and culminated in an explosion.

WHEN THE ALARM CLOCK woke Ralph Stewart that morning, there was a diaphragm in the bed. Karen’s, of course. Looking at it, Ralph wondered if she knew it was no longer with her. No, probably not. Had the week at her mother’s made her forgetful?

From the kitchen, Karen called, “Ralph! You getting up?”

“Sure, sure,” Ralph said. He sat there, looking at it. She must think it was still with her. When she discovered it was gone, what a moment that would be.

“Ralph! Breakfast is ready and you’re going to be late for work!”

“Sure, sure.” Chuckling to himself, Ralph wrapped it in a Kleenex and tucked it away in the drawer of the night table on Karen’s side. Then he padded off to brush his teeth.

After a week away, Karen was pleased to be back in her own kitchen again, though that wasn’t what made her smile as she waited for Ralph to come in for breakfast. She was imagining the look on Ralph’s face when he’d seen it lying there in the bed. At first she’d thought of peeking around the bedroom doorway to see what he’d do next, but lie might have seen her and that would have spoiled the effect. Besides, it was even better this way, wondering what would be the first thing he’d say when he came through the kitchen door.

He came through the kitchen door. He said, “I’m starved.”

Not a word from him during breakfast. He kissed her goodbye, said, “See you at six,” grabbed his briefcase and ran.

Hadn’t he seen it? She went into the bedroom and looked in the lied and it was gone. That was strange. He had found it, but he hadn’t said a word about it. And he’ll taken it away with him. Karen paled. Could it be? But there was no other explanation. She’ll been away for a week and Ralph must have thought it belonged to somebody else.

Who?

Ralph came into the apartment a little after six with a small smile already tugging at his lips. What would she say?

She said, “Oh, there you are.” Coldly.

Chipper as a cricket, Ralph said, “Anything happen today, lion?”

“Nothing much,” she said. Coldly.

All evening. Ralph waited for her to say something, and she never did. Also, there was a definite chill in the air, a definite chill. Ralph began to feel irritated, both because his joke seemed to have fallen Hat and because Karen was acting very distant, for some reason. At ten o’clock, they had a sudden flare-up over whether to watch the spy show on channel two or the special about the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge on channel four. Voices weren’t raised, but anger quivered in their tones and one or two cutting remarks were exchanged. Ultimately. Ralph went down to the Kozy Korner and watched the spy show there.

When he got home. Karen was already in bed and asleep, or at least appearing to be asleep. Ralph slid between the sheets and lay there a long while, staring at the ceiling. She had never mentioned it. Also, she was acting very cold and distant, for no good reason at all. He’ll been trying to avoid the thought, but as far as he could see, there was only one explanation. She must think she’d lost it somewhere else.

Where?

After Ralph left for work the next morning, slamming the apartment door behind him. Karen sat at the kitchen table and cried for a quarter of an hour. The argument over breakfast had been the most violent of their four years of marriage. Ralph hail said some things—

But one thing in particular, one unforgivable thing in particular. To bring up Howie Youngblood again after all these years, to bring up an incident that had happened when she was very young and innocent, and it had been a college weekend, and she hadn’t even known Ralph then, and she’d told him everything about it even before they were married, and to bring that up now, to throw it in her lace like that, was unforgivable.

Of course, she knew why he was doing it. Trying to justify his own actions, that’s all. She wondered if it could be that girl at Ralph’s office, that Linda Sue Powers. Ralph very rarely mentioned her anymore, and when Karen had thrown the name out at breakfast that morning. Ralph had seemed to hesitate, as though maybe he felt guilty about something.

When Grace from down the hall came in for their usual midmorning coffee, Karen said to her, “Grace, sometimes a person needs a trusted friend, someone she can talk to.”

“Oh, Karen, you know me,” Grace said, looking bright and alert. “Silent as the tomb.”

So Karen told her everything. Except about putting it in the bed, of course; that was too personal and silly and hardly important anymore, anyway.

It was the first time Ralph hail taken Linda Sue Powers to lunch. “I don’t know why I should bother you with my troubles,” he said. “We’re hardly more than office acquaintances.”

“Oh, I hope you think of me as more than that,” she said. She has very nice blue eyes. “I hope you think of me as your friend,” she said.

“I’d like to,” Ralph said. And before he was done, he’d told her everything. Except about finding it in the bed, of course: that was unimportant by now and not the sort of thing to mention to a young lady.

The fight at the Cullbertsons’ party was just the climax to five weeks of border skirmishes and commando raids. The fight, which took place in front of IS exceedingly interested spectators, lasted 21 minutes and culminated this way:

Karen: “And I suppose you haven’t spent every night the past two weeks with that Powers woman?”

Ralph: “Kerning, you filthy-minded bitch, earning, not night; we’ve been working at the office. And it’s left you plenty of time to howl, hasn’t it?”

Karen: “Ralph. I want a divorce I want a divorce I want a divorce!”

Ralph: “Divorce? The way you catty on, I could practically gel an annulment!”

The lawyer said. “We always require at least this one meeting between the principals, to see if any sort of reconciliation is possible. You two are both intelligent people; maybe this marriage can still be saved. What caused the estrangement, can you tell me that? What started it?”

Karen said, “I suppose it all started with Linda Sue Powers.”

Ralph said, “I believe the name my wile is looking for is Howie Youngblood.”

The lawyer had to shout and pound on his desk before they’d quiet down.

After the divorce, they met one last time at the apartment to divide up their possessions, neither trusting the other to go in first and alone. Ralph arrived with Linda Site Powers. Karen brought along a pipe smoking chap she didn’t introduce.

They moved through the apartment together, their escorts waiting in ultimate table silence in the living room, the principals talking in monosyllables as they said, “That’s yours.” Or, “I’ll lake that,” or, “You can throw that out if you want.” There were no arguments now, no squabbles, no rousing of passion. When they got to the night table. Karen opened the drawer. “So that’s where you put it,” she said, taking it out and unwrapping the Kleenex.

“A joke,” he said. He sounded faintly bitter.

She nodded. “I know,” she said. “I put it in the bed for a joke.”

“You did?”

She frowned at the drawer. “And you—”

Then they looked at each other and they both understood; and for just a second, something very much like hope sprang up in their eyes. But then Karen shook her head and said, “No. There are things you said to me—”

Ralph said, “You accused me of some things—”

Karen said, “And there’s that woman out there.”

“Talking with that smokestack of yours.”

They looked away from each other, their faces set. “Well,” said Karen. She turned and threw it into the wastebasket.

Ralph said, “Aren’t you going to take it with you?”

“I’ve got a new one,” she said.