Course of Action

"When we're in the air is a great time for the press conference,"

Carolyn said, wiping a daub of mustard from her face. "That way, we're incommunicado when the press goes crazy, because they will. Now they'll focus on this idiot instead of Annelie, but she'll still be in the spotlight."

"Oh, God," Annelie murmured. "They'll want to hear what I think about him, won't they?"

Carolyn nodded. "Probably. They won't give up until you make a statement, but you can still do it through Margo. Think about it for a day or two. You need time to find your bearings, love."

She's right. I feel like running as far away as I can. That old pattern. I'm numb, like icicles are hanging from my heart, my feelings in suspended animation. Well, maybe I won't cut my losses and run, for a change. And then there's you, Carolyn. You're the only one who can reach me now. Everything else seems unimportant.

Annelie shook her head as if waking from a dream. "I'll work on a statement later today. Now I might as well try to get some work done here at the office."

"Good idea." Margo nodded. "I'll see if the investigator has come up with any more information." Leaning forward, Margo kissed Annelie's cheek. "Chin up, girlie. This'll be all right. I promise."

"Thank you. I know it will." Annelie tried to sound convinced.

Carolyn slid closer after Margo left the room. "Need a hug?"

"Desperately." Annelie rolled her eyes at herself but enjoyed feeling Carolyn's strong arms encircle her.

"You're so tense. I despise that jerk for doing this to you."

"I'll be fine. I just need to wrap my mind around it all. I've sometimes wondered if he was still alive, or…" Annelie shrugged, hiding her face against Carolyn's shoulder. "It'll take me a while to deal with this, I suppose."

"Yes. And you know what? I'll be right here to help you. We'll get through it together, Annie. To quote Margo, my new hero, ‘I promise.'"

Annelie knew Carolyn didn't make promises easily. "Thank you. I'm going to take you up on that." She hesitated. "I need you so much."

Carolyn paused, then continued to rub Annelie's back softly. "Oh, Annie. I need you too. So very much." She brushed Annelie's hair with a soft kiss. "I don't know how it happened, but you've become the most important thing in my life. I love you."

Annelie felt her heart skip several beats, then instantly speed up and thunder almost painfully in her chest. A sudden heat spread through her chest, melting the ice that had encased it for the last few days. Tears formed in her eyes, and she didn't mind Carolyn kissing them away as they rolled down her cheeks. "I love you too."

Carolyn dug in her pocket for a tissue and handed it to Annelie, smiling tenderly at her. "Here. Blow your nose, love."

As she felt her face grow warm, Annelie settled against the couch, still very close to Carolyn. "How long before you have to go back?"

"Ten minutes. Let's just sit here and relax." Carolyn smoothed Annelie's mussed hair.

Ten minutes won't be enough. I need hours. I need days alone with you, but this'll have to do. Maybe I can make it until you come home from work. "Come closer, then." She pulled Carolyn half on top of her. "Margo will make sure nobody disturbs us."

Carolyn slipped her hands under Annelie's silk blouse, spreading her fingers over her stomach, softly caressing the smooth skin. "I can't stop touching you."

"Good."

"You don't mind?"

"Of course not. I love your hands."

Carolyn soothed a random pattern on Annelie's soft skin.

Nuzzling Carolyn's temples in return, Annelie felt a vein throb against her lips. This symbol of life pulsating in her lover comforted her. She traced the faint blue line with her tongue. "Mine," she whispered in a barely audible tone. God, how could I ever let you go? Stay with me. Promise me…though I know I can't expect such promises. Annelie closed her eyes, knowing she had to draw strength from this brief embrace, enough to last the rest of the day. Nothing else matters right now, this instant. Mine.

"Yes, love. Yours."

***

Carolyn pulled the covers over Annelie's naked shoulders, protecting her from the air conditioner's breeze. Annelie had fallen asleep twice on the couch and stumbled to bed only after Carolyn made her.

"I'll be right there," Carolyn promised, as she tucked in her already-sleeping lover.

Walking into the bathroom, Carolyn shed her clothes with relief. The back of her neck ached from tension. She rolled her neck and her shoulders and tried to work it out. Running the water as hot as she could stand it, she slipped into the shower stall and closed her eyes as the massaging water hit her sore muscles.

The readings this afternoon went okay. Made sure nobody noticed I wasn't on top of everything. The medicine and seeing Annelie helped that bitch of a headache. But that bastard who's harassing her! Ow. Feels like a jackhammer in my head. Carolyn quickly opened her mouth and wiggled her jaw to alleviate the pressure.

Got to pull off my appearance with Leno when we get to L.A. And then make it through the Maddox convention Saturday. That's it. No more commitments for me during the filming.

Carolyn had just walked into the bedroom when the phone rang. Snatching it, she moved toward the living room.

"Hello?"

"Annelie? Is that you, babe?"

"Carolyn Black speaking. Annelie can't come to the phone right now. Who's this, please?" Carolyn's voice was somber.

"Carolyn? It's Kitty McNeil. This is a surprise. How are you?"

Carolyn could detect a guarded tone in the woman's voice.

"I'm fine, thanks. Annelie has had a rough day. She's asleep and—"

"Oh, don't wake her up. I can talk to her tomorrow. I'm just calling to see how she's handling this thing with her father."

Realizing how close Kitty and Annelie were, Carolyn uncharacteristically decided to confide in her.

"There's been a surprising development, Kitty." As Carolyn continued to disclose Margo's earlier information, she appreciated Kitty's colorful language about the imposter. "My thoughts exactly."

"So what's going to happen?"

"Margo's holding another press conference tomorrow, while we're flying to L.A. It'll be great to have her straighten everybody out before the new Maddox convention starts."

"I guess she's really been upset. Is she okay?"

Carolyn was too tired to be anything but blunt. "She's had a rough time. I'm staying here with her. In fact, she asked me to move in permanently, and since I don't want to be away from her, the choice was easy."

"Sounds great. Will you tell her I called? I e-mailed her but have been worried about her and wanted to check."

"Of course. Thanks for calling. She'll probably give you a call in the morning before we leave. Or are you asleep then?"

"I'll be awake. I'm keeping very strange hours working on my new novel."

"Excellent." Carolyn smiled. "Any chance of a preview? Remember, I'm an avid fan."

Kitty laughed. "A preview? Well, don't tell Jem…but of course. Just for you."

Carolyn relaxed, finally feeling the connection she'd made with the author when she first met her and during their Disney World adventure. "I won't tell on you, I promise. I look forward to it."

"Cool! Now I know it's bedtime at your end, so sleep well. Give Annelie a hug for me."

"Will do. Take care."

Finally tired and ready for bed, Carolyn padded back to the bedroom. Annelie was still fast asleep, hugging a pillow close to her chest, a faint frown on her forehead. Carolyn dropped her towel and climbed into bed and was immediately wrapped in a close embrace.

"You're here…" Annelie whispered.

"Yes. Go back to sleep, love." Carolyn placed her arms around the warm sleeping form next to her. "Shh, there you go."

Closing her eyes, Carolyn listened to her lover's even breathing and finally slept.

***

In the jet, Annelie looked at Carolyn next to her on a comfortable couch. She had her eyes closed, and Annelie knew she was focusing on her two upcoming performances. Farther to her left, Helen and the Davidsons were engaged in a muted conversation. Gregory sat toward the back of the plane with a laptop.

Though the Tonight Show producers had asked Annelie to appear with Carolyn, she had declined. She did, however, plan to accompany Carolyn to the studio.

Annelie checked her watch and took a deep breath, thinking about the press conference Margo was holding that very minute.

"You okay?" Carolyn asked, placing a hand on her lover's arm. "Thinking about the press conference?"

"Yes. I wonder how it's going. I feel bad for leaving Margo to handle it all."

"Forget it. Didn't you see the look on her face this morning? She was looking forward to socking it to the press for their shoddy research and to this creep for trying a scam in the first place."

Annelie knew Carolyn was right. She reached into her briefcase and pulled out a copy of the document Margo had given them early that morning.

Name: Trevor Albert White.

Age: Born in Chicago, January 12, 1945.

Parents: Deceased.

One sister: Geraldine White, location

unknown.

Trevor White had lived in the same trailer park as Stuart Clint for many years. The man was on disability, mainly because of his drug addictions. As she turned the next couple of pages, Annelie noted that White had left Chicago for California in 1978, just like her father. Apparently, her father and White had been drinking buddies for years, sometimes working on different construction sites together.

Reading further, she discovered their mutual drug addictions had caused them to lose several jobs. White hadn't done time like her father but had been suspected for several misdemeanors.

Leaning back and letting the pile of papers rest on her lap, Annelie wondered if this was how White knew about her. Had her father shared his past in Chicago with him, or had White been part of their lives even before Stuart Clint abandoned his family?

"Annelie?"

The gentle voice made her jump, and she looked up at Harvey standing next to her. "Yes? Sorry. I was daydreaming."

"I just wanted to let you know that Francine and I are completely behind you. It's appalling how a man can treat his child this way."

Annelie motioned for him to sit down. "There's something you don't know, Harvey."

Harvey's eyes narrowed as he listened to Annelie. "First of all, I'm sorry your father's dead. Still, it infuriates me someone would try such a thing. I'm not surprised, though. There are a lot of predatory people out there, ready to do just about anything if they benefit from it." He wavered for a minute, stroking his mustache several times. "How are you feeling?"

Annelie tucked a long strand of hair behind her ear. Harvey's question seemed nothing but kind. Surprising herself, she shook her head. "I'm…a little stumped," she confessed. "Angry, of course, and upset. I'm big on privacy." She gave a wry smile. "Very big."

Harvey patted the back of her hand. "I've gathered that. Remember, you're not alone. Now the press will have another field day—conveniently forgetting they were wrong in the first place—but they'll focus on him. You'll get all the sympathy votes."

Annelie made a face. "I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I understand what you mean. I just don't want the public to contribute less to my charities."

Harvey smiled. "Don't worry. When people learn about this guy's scheme—"

"They'll pull out their wallets, donate money to the charities, and show everyone, including that moron, who they really sympathize with." Carolyn's husky voice surprised them both.

Harvey laughed. "You took the words right out of my mouth, Carolyn."

Annelie glanced at the contented smirk on her lover's lips. She thought back to the precious fifteen minutes she'd spent simply lying in Carolyn's arms early that morning. Carolyn's soft caresses along her back and her whispered terms of endearment had soothed Annelie when she finally realized she would never be able to reconcile with her father—no explanations, no happy ending. Annelie didn't even know she'd harbored such hopes. Perhaps they were remnants from her childhood, when she dreamed her father would return.

Vaguely aware Carolyn and Harvey were talking with each other, Annelie looked over toward the window, the bright sunlight reflecting on the wings of the airplane. It stung her eyes, adding to the tears already forming there. I can hardly remember him, and I honestly thought I didn't care anymore. We lived our lives well without him, Mother and I. Why am I so lost now? Have I fooled myself all this time?

Her memories of the tall, lean man were sketchy at best. She remembered dark eyes and how he called her "the child" when he spoke to her mother. Did he ever use my name? Her mother had called her Annie and many nicknames based on that. Some were of Swedish origin, and Annelie's favorite had always been "lilla hjärta," meaning "little heart."

Mother was mild-mannered, with a generous heart, soft touch, and pale beauty. He, on the other hand, was cold and selfish. Why did she fall for him? Did she think she could change him? Well, damn it, not even having a child with her made Stuart Clint care much. He lasted for only seven years. I can do this. I can face the media and everybody else. He hasn't played a role in my life, nor did I in his for more than twenty-five years…Annelie leaned back in her seat, the memory of Carolyn's strong embrace vivid in her mind. As long as I have you, I'll be okay. You empower me when I need it most, and these memories of him make that so important.

According to Margo, Stuart Clint was a handsome bad boy with a winning smile who had treated Anna well while he courted her. But as soon as they were married, he changed. When Anna gave birth to Annelie, he began to drink heavily and sometimes use drugs. One day he was gone.

A gentle hand took hold of Annelie's, bringing her out of her reverie. "The press conference should be over. Want to call Margo?"

"No. Let's wait till we get to the hotel. We should get there quickly since the security company is meeting us at the gates."

"Security company?" Harvey raised his eyebrows.

"Margo and I talked," Carolyn explained. "Since the convention and the latest about this bozo in California will attract a lot of attention, we agreed to hire bodyguards."

Accustomed to Hollywood and the paparazzi, Harvey nodded. "Good move."

"They'll escort us to the hotel and accompany us everywhere while we're in L.A. Annelie wasn't too keen at first, were you, love? But she relented when I twisted her arm."

Annelie wondered if Carolyn noticed how the tender word automatically slipped from her lips, or saw the twinkle in Harvey's eyes, but she didn't think so and didn't mind.

She scooted closer to Carolyn as Harvey rejoined his wife. "He's such a good man."

Carolyn nodded. "Actually, he reminds me of my father, even if he's not quite old enough. Oh, that's right, you're just a baby. He's old enough to be your father," Carolyn deadpanned.

"Very funny." Annelie rolled her eyes. "All jokes aside, if my father had been like Harvey, things would be a lot different."

"You know what? I think Harvey really cares about you. I'm not saying he's about to adopt you, but he definitely acts fatherly around you."

Blushing faintly, Annelie considered this observation. "They're all so nice. I couldn't ask for a better crew."

Carolyn gave a knowing smile. "Oh, Annie, don't you realize Helen, Harvey, and I are the ones who are grateful to be working with you." She caressed Annelie's leg discreetly. "And I'm more grateful than the other two put together."

***

Carolyn sat next to Annelie in the black SUV and tried not to let her know how badly her temples throbbed. After glancing through the tinted windows and studying the bodyguards who accompanied them, she closed her eyes briefly. She tried to block out the voices of Francine and Helen by concentrating on her inner self. All I need is a few minutes to relax and I'll be fine. Just a few. Deep breaths. That's it. Maybe that'll help. I can't wait to get to the hotel pool. A quick swim should make me less tense. Wonder how long I've got before I have to be at the Tonight Show studio?

Seeing she had plenty of time unless something unexpected happened, Carolyn glanced over at Annelie. She seemed lost in thought, her hands clasped in her lap. As Carolyn reached over and patted the tight fists, Annelie quickly turned her head, her eyes dark with emotions.

What's going on in her mind? Why the dark thoughts, darling? Wanting to reassure her lover, she locked her gaze onto the pale blue eyes. "We'll be there soon," Carolyn whispered. "Haven't changed your mind, have you? Still going with me to the studio?"

Annelie nodded briefly, not averting her eyes. "Of course I'm going. I'll wait for you in the green room."

As they drove up to the hotel entrance, the doorman approached to open the car door. Forestalling his intention, the man sitting next to the driver held on to the door handle, carefully scanning the surroundings before opening it. He leapt outside, watching over the passengers as they climbed out of the vehicle.

As she walked toward the reception area in the hotel with Annelie, Carolyn heard a man yell. She turned toward the tumult just as one of the bodyguards threw his arm out to shield them, pushing them farther to the side.

"Damn it, she's my daughter! You can't stop me from seeing my own flesh and blood!" A tall man, wearing jeans and a gray jacket, lurched toward them. Reaching out, he grabbed for Annelie.

"No!" Carolyn shouted.

"Hey, look at me, girl!" the man seethed. "Don't you recognize me? Get these idiots off me! I'm your father, damn it!"

Annelie stumbled backward, and only Harvey's grasp prevented her from falling. He simultaneously pulled Annelie toward him and put his arm protectively around his wife. "What the hell…"

Amid the uproar, three bodyguards quickly wrestled the man to the ground. The remaining men hustled Annelie and her party toward the elevators.

"This way," the man in charge instructed. "We've already arranged for your check-in. The penthouse suites are ready."

Once at a safe distance, Annelie stopped to glance over her shoulder, a hesitant look on her face. "Is he the one…?"

Moving closer, Carolyn put her hand in the small of Annelie's back, her touch meant to comfort and protect. "If it is, we'll find out. Hotel security and our guys will take care of the situation. Let's go now."

As they resumed walking toward the elevator, increasingly concerned, Carolyn noticed Annelie was frowning. "Are you all right?"

Annelie merely nodded, apparently too taken aback for conversation. She stood rigidly and stared straight ahead, her eyes vacant. After a silent elevator ride, the group emerged on the penthouse floor where Annelie had reserved three suites for the six of them.

Carolyn watched Annelie anxiously as the bodyguards left them at their door, assuring them they would post a man outside their suites and investigate the incident in the lobby.

After Annelie had mechanically overtipped the bellboy, she closed the door behind him. She leaned against it for a moment and took a deep breath. "God, I wish I knew what that was about."

Carolyn draped her jacket over the back of a chair on her way to Annelie. "I'm sure they'll let us know as soon as they learn anything," she said gently, putting her arms around her lover.

"So you're saying don't assume until we know more?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying, love. They'll get back to you when they've sorted things out."

"I know." Annelie sighed, leaning her forehead against Carolyn's. "I wasn't prepared for such a…"

"Violent display? I don't blame you." Tucking a long tress of hair behind Annelie's left ear, Carolyn smiled faintly. "Good idea about the bodyguards, right?"

"God, yes." Annelie shivered in her arms. "I don't want to think what could have happened if they hadn't been there."

"But they were."

"Yes." Annelie's voice still trembled as she let go of Carolyn and turned toward their bags. "Want me to help you choose between your outfits?"

Realizing Annelie needed something to do to normalize the strange mood after the incident, Carolyn nodded. "Sure, go ahead." As she strolled over to the window and pretended to admire the view, she realized her head was throbbing. Furtively rubbing her temples, she knew she had to have some relief. She couldn't go on Leno looking nauseous.

"Hey," Annelie said, putting down Carolyn's bag. "Do you have a headache? Want me to rub your shoulders?" She walked up behind her lover.

Carolyn shook her head. "You know what I really want? I'd like to go swimming, to try and relax. Come with me?"

"I wish I could," Annelie said. "But I promised Gregory we'd go over some last-minute details about the convention. We put it off all week and now…"

"It's okay." Carolyn smiled. "I'll find the pool and just do a few laps before I leave."

Annelie cupped her lover's cheek. "I'm still going with you to the studio, naturally."

"Thanks, but if you get stuck in meetings, I'll understand…" With

no idea why she was almost about to cry, Carolyn shrugged, feeling ridiculous.

"I won't get stuck." Annelie gently brushed her lips over Carolyn's. "Go have your swim, and I'll be here to help you get ready when you come back. Okay?"

Forcing back her stupid tears and clenching her teeth against a sudden stabbing pain behind her eyes, Carolyn nodded. "Fine. I'll just change and grab a quick shower, and then I'm off."

Apparently sensing Carolyn's struggle for control, Annelie glanced toward the alarm clock by the bed. "You know, I've got twenty minutes before Gregory arrives. I'd love to take a shower with you."

Carolyn didn't realize she had a knot in her midsection until it began to unwind. "Yes? You're sure?"

"Of course. I need to make sure you're okay." Annelie began to unbutton her shirt, pale skin appearing as she undressed. "A very definite yes." She reached out, unbuttoning Carolyn's blouse, sliding it back over slightly freckled shoulders. "Surely you know I want to spend every possible minute with you?"

Comforted by the desire mixed with love she saw in Annelie's eyes, Carolyn allowed Annelie to lead her into the bathroom. "I don't feel so good right now," Carolyn confessed. "And…I'm sorry for acting childish."

"You're not acting childish." Annelie started the shower with one hand while caressing Carolyn with the other. "You dropped everything to stand by me last week."

Efficiently, Annelie undressed Carolyn before shedding the rest of her own clothes. "That guy scared all of us, and you have a headache to boot. Come here. Let me rub some of the stress away before you go swim."

Standing under the hot running water with Annelie's hands roaming her body, Carolyn began to think she would find strength to get through the evening after all.

***

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Carolyn Black!" Annelie made herself comfortable on the couch in the green room at the Tonight Show studio, not taking her eyes off the screen. Carolyn walked toward Jay Leno with her arms stretched out to greet him. After they kissed the air next to each other, Carolyn gracefully sat down in the chair next to the desk. She looked radiant dressed in a sleeveless, emerald green dress that ended just below her knees. Annelie smiled, knowing the diva mode was on.

"You look amazing, Carolyn. Welcome to L.A. You flew in today, right?" Leno echoed Annelie's admiration.

"I did. For the Maddox convention tomorrow."

"Well, we're of course delighted you'd come on the show at such short notice. I hear you flew in on a private jet, with the rest of the Maddox movie cast."

"You heard right, Jay. The production company chartered a jet to save us time, wear and tear. We're getting ready to shoot the movie."

"Sounds like a luxurious way to travel, though I guess the lovely Ms. Peterson can afford it."

Annelie held her breath, seeing Carolyn's eyes narrow. "Ms. Peterson is a very generous boss," Carolyn asserted. "We're all lucky."

"Now, I've just met Annelie Peterson, and she strikes me as a very low-key, unpretentious woman."

Carolyn leaned forward to emphasize the importance of her statement. "You know, she's the kindest person I've ever met—and the most giving. She could be sitting idly on her wealth. Instead she puts it to good use, making life a little easier for the less fortunate. I know you've contributed to her charities over the years, Jay."

Annelie chuckled and thought Leno probably regretted sharing that bit of information in the green room. He looked both flattered and embarrassed. "It's a worthy cause for kids," he said. "There was an interesting development with the man claiming to be Ms. Peterson's father. What do you think about that?"

Annelie pressed her lips together at the intrusive question.

"That's totally up to Annelie Peterson to comment on—or to choose not to, Jay. All I can say is this—I wish the press would do their homework better, instead of going head over heels for a scoop. The damage to people's lives isn't worth it."

Leno's face turned serious, and Annelie wondered if he'd been subjected to his fair share of rumormongering.

"You're right, Carolyn." Leno paused. "It sounds like you and Ms. Peterson have become friends."

The actress didn't hesitate. "Yes, during the time I've known her,

she and I have become very close. You know, you just click with some people. She's great."

Leno nodded, and then a broad smile spread across his face. "Now, on a lighter note, you told me a funny story back in the green room, including a near disaster when you visited Ms. Peterson."

Carolyn flashed a broad smile. "Oh, you mean the one about my nonexistent cooking skills and how I ended up signing autographs for some very handsome boys from the FDNY instead of having pizza?"

The studio audience, responding to Carolyn like the crowd at the Orlando convention, roared, stomped their feet, and whistled as she winked at them. Annelie smiled as her lover told the story of the pizza, embellishing it in her special way.

"So, I take it you're a good customer at restaurants?" Leno deduced.

"You bet. That, and catering services. I think I'm solely responsible for my local Italian restaurant's expansion." Carolyn smirked. "I do, however, make excellent coffee."

"Now, the Maddox movies. You've signed contracts to do the first three. How does that feel?"

"It's a true honor to be chosen for this adventure." Carolyn leaned back, touching her lips with an index finger. Her face turned serious. "I'm also well aware of the responsibility. A lot rides on the first one being a success, and since I play Diana Maddox…" She shrugged.

"Yeah, they'll have your head if you screw up," Leno joked. "There's a lot of action in these stories." He wiggled his eyebrows. "Any qualms about kissing the lovely Ms. St. Cyr?"

Annelie closed her eyes and moaned in exasperation.

"Not one bit. Besides, she's a very attractive woman. Wouldn't you want to kiss her?" Carolyn deadpanned.

Leno missed a beat and then shook his head in mock dismay as the audience cheered. "I'm a married man. Are you trying to get me in trouble?" He grinned. "Honestly, Helen St. Cyr is one of my wife's favorite actresses, right up there with you and Alice Kriege."

"All character actresses," Carolyn observed. "Your wife has good taste, Jay."

"Naturally. Goes without saying. She married me, didn't she?"

The audience laughed.

"So, playing Diana Maddox—a tormented, complex, lesbian character—no big deal?"

Carolyn shook her head, giving Leno a somewhat patronizing glance. "I never go into a role thinking it's not a big deal, regardless of who the character is. Playing a lesbian is a first for me, if you don't count doing the Maddox audiobooks, and I intend to do my best to give Maddox credibility and to keep her natural. A certain percentage of all women are lesbians or bisexual—and the concept of love in any way, shape, or form between consenting adults is a good thing, right?"

Looking slightly stunned to be on the receiving end of Carolyn's firm glance, Leno nodded willingly. "Absolutely."

Carolyn was obviously not finished with the subject. "And as for her being tormented and complex, that has more to do with her persona than her sexual preference." Carolyn delivered the correction with an enticing smile, but her voice was forceful.

Leno reached for his tie knot, only to stop halfway. Clearing his voice, he returned the smile. "Now, I only have one final question."

"Shoot."

"Are you going to do all the stunts yourself? I know from the books there's some nudity, for instance."

Carolyn rolled her eyes, making the audience giggle. "Jay, you have a one-track mind. Well, in my contract, I've agreed to partial nudity when it's called for in the story." She leaned toward Leno, putting a hand on his arm. "I suppose by ‘stunts' you're also talking about the love scenes?"

"Eh…yeah."

"The only time I'd demand a stand-in or a stunt woman to take my place would be if it concerned…cooking."

The audience roared, and Leno laughed along with them. Annelie knew Carolyn was in control of the show and admired the way she charmed both her host and the spectators.

"I know I said that was my final question, but, if you'll indulge me, what are your plans for tonight? Are you going to paint the town with your colleagues and Ms. Peterson or…?"

Carolyn smiled wistfully. "You know, I'm going straight to bed. Tomorrow will be a long day, and I want to be at my best for the people attending the convention. They're even coming from Europe and Australia."

"Well, we've certainly enjoyed having you here on the show, Carolyn. Thank you so much for coming."

Carolyn rose and took a bow as applause thundered, then left the stage. Normally, Leno's guests remained on his couch, but Carolyn had refused to stay longer than her slot.

Annelie rose and turned to Gregory. "Wasn't she great?"

"Outstanding. She charmed them all. They'll want her back when the movie premieres."

"I'm sure they will."

The door opened and Carolyn entered, with sparkling eyes and a broad smile on her face. "All done," she proclaimed, energy vibrating in her voice. "We can leave right away, can't we?"

"Sure. Are you in a hurry?" Annelie raised her eyebrows.

"I want to get back to the hotel and order something from room service. I'm starving."

"Your wish is my command. We have an early start tomorrow."

Carolyn walked up to Annelie and studied her closely. "I was okay, right?"

Annelie wanted to stroke her lover's cheek, but decided not to since studio personnel were present. "You were awesome. Come on."

Hearing loud music from the house band in the background, Annelie noticed a new bounce in Carolyn's walk as they left the studio, making her realize her lover was on her performance high. When Annelie felt a soft caress of Carolyn's hand on her own, a thumb stealthily rubbing her palm, she shivered and glanced at her.

"Behave."

Carolyn smiled innocently. "All right."

***

They barely made it over the threshold.

Annelie turned to close the door, and Carolyn leaned past her, shutting it with the palm of her hand and locking the deadbolt. Pushing Annelie against the wall, she slipped her hands eagerly under her white silk shirt and stroked the skin on her stomach.

"Carolyn?" Annelie managed, before the other woman claimed her mouth, parting her lips in a passionate kiss. "You were going to call room service…"

"Shh." Carolyn pushed Annelie's jacket off her shoulders while she kissed her way inside the shirt she was unbuttoning. Tracing the delicate collarbones with open-mouth kisses, she made Annelie moan as she pushed down the shoulder straps of her bra and let it fall to the floor, together with her shirt.

"You're so beautiful," Carolyn murmured. "Exquisite." She closed her lips over a taut nipple, making Annelie arch into the touch. She nibbled Annelie's breast just the way she liked, making her gasp with pleasure and almost moan with pain.

"You're insatiable," Annelie gulped. "What brought this on?"

Carolyn didn't answer. Instead, she unbuttoned her lover's black slacks, pushing them down her hips. Annelie stepped out of them, watching in awe as Carolyn suddenly knelt in front of her, sliding her lace panties down next. Slowly, interrupting her intentions by placing kisses on Annelie's thighs, she undressed her completely. Carolyn's beauty, her dark eyes brimming with desire, made Annelie's heart ache.

Carolyn began to caress her way up. Carefully letting her nails trail up along the smooth thighs, she closed in on the blond tuft of hair, making Annelie tremble.

"Come on, love, spread your legs for me," Carolyn encouraged. "That's it…more…I want to look at you."

Feeling utterly vulnerable and even more aroused, Annelie complied. Carolyn had often taken the initiative in making love, but never like this. The contrast between Carolyn's elegant appearance and Annelie's own nakedness added to the feeling of being exposed. Yet it was such a thrill.

Annelie gasped when gentle fingers parted her folds, carefully exploring. Carolyn rose to her feet, her hand still working between Annelie's legs. "So wet," she whispered. "For me?"

"Yes." Feeling vulnerable about her body's reaction, but unashamed, Annelie closed her eyes at the tender examination. She ached for Carolyn's touch, knowing how her lover could feast on her, drive her toward the abyss with her mouth. "Only for you…"

Watching Carolyn slowly undress, Annelie noticed her lover's hands were shaking. She moved toward her, close enough for Carolyn to feel the heat radiating from her body, then wrapped her arms around her, pulling her tight against her naked frame. Lowering her head, she devoured Carolyn's lips in an endless kiss.

As she pulled back, she gazed into Carolyn's hypnotic eyes— narrow slits shining with desire.

"You drive me insane," Carolyn confessed. "Your voice, your body…your touch. You make me want to do…" Her voice trailed off as she suddenly blushed.

"What?" Annelie whispered, cupping the back of Carolyn's head. "Tell me."

Reaching for Annelie's breasts, Carolyn let her thumbs work the nipples relentlessly. "I have fantasies…" She pushed her thigh between Annelie's. "About us. Doing things."

Oh, God. Annelie swallowed, her head swimming with the sensations raging through her body. The slender thigh between hers made more moisture pool at her center. "And what do we do in your fantasies?" she asked.

Carolyn leaned down and took one of Annelie's aching nipples in her mouth, sucking it for agonizing seconds before replying. "For some reason, I have this image in my head…" Her hand slipped in between their bodies, finding the aching ridge of nerves between Annelie's folds and rubbing it in slow circles. "…of you, on your knees, on a chair, holding on to the backrest ..." Her fingers pushed farther ahead, spreading the wetness. "…and me, behind you, exploring all of you."

Two fingers entered Annelie, curling inside her until they found the spot that made her go rigid. "And you ask me to take you, to make you mine…" The fingers began an in-and-out motion while she kissed Annelie's neck, her tongue painting a blazing trail along her jaw. "You whimper my name, and I have access to any part of you I want. Nothing's taboo. You want me to take it all."

"Carolyn…oh, yes…" Annelie was completely caught up in the sound of her lover's voice and what she was saying. The scene she painted was exciting, and she knew it wouldn't be long until it pushed her over the precipice. Take me. "And what happens then?"

"I enter you, with my fingers, with my tongue…" Carolyn moved her lips close to Annelie's ear. "I dream of doing this, of taking you completely."

Trembling all over, her breath ragged and her legs becoming increasingly weaker, Annelie was stunned by Carolyn's candor and trust. Not about to disappoint her lover, she gently took a handful of auburn hair, turning Carolyn's face up for another deep kiss.

"It's true, you know," she breathed. "There's nothing you can't do to me, because we love each other. I'll fulfill all your fantasies, one by one, to the best of my ability…I want to, very much." Anything…she wanted to do everything with this woman.

Annelie felt tears well up as Carolyn pressed her drenched sex against her thigh. "Annie, I can't believe how you make me feel… just talking about it, confessing how you invade my thoughts at any given time, makes me feel more than…oh…I've never…I can't believe this…"

Annelie felt her lover push against her, whimpers muted by Carolyn's mouth placing open-mouth kisses along her collarbones. She cupped Carolyn's bottom, helping her ride the thigh lodged between hers. "And how does your fantasy end?"

"Usually, it ends with…uh…me penetrating you with as many fingers as you'll let me…" Carolyn murmured something inaudible.

"What?"

"Nothing…"

"Tell me. You can tell me anything."

Carolyn sighed, her hips jerking, her fingers pressing into Annelie becoming frantic. "You allow me, in my mind, to stimulate you everywhere I want. You let me…Oh, Annie! Oh!"

Carolyn came, and the feeling of her arching against her made Annelie's body convulse along with her. Slowly, her knees gave in as her inner muscles clenched Carolyn's fingers over and over. Lances of pleasure streaked through her body, and she whimpered aloud, clinging to Carolyn. Sliding along the wall toward the floor, she finally sat with her lover straddling her lap, hugging her close while she tried to catch her breath.

"My love…Annie, I love you." Carolyn's voice broke, and muted sobs wracked her. "My precious girl…"

"Shh…I love you too. You're my heart, Carolyn. Only you." Annelie kissed her. "I'd gladly let you do everything in your fantasy. Nothing you want to try could make me uncomfortable, since it's you. I adore you. I have fantasies too. I have so many things I want to do with you…for you."

"Nothing…nobody…has ever affected me this way. It simply has to be you. I can't imagine feeling…this, with anyone else."

Annelie felt her throat constrict at the naked emotions in Carolyn's voice. She refused to cry, but held on even tighter to the woman in her arms. Not doubting Carolyn's truthfulness, Annelie knew she felt the same way.

They sat on the floor until the air-conditioning made them shiver. Annelie helped her exhausted lover to her feet and guided her into the bathroom, where a hot shower warmed them up. After quickly brushing their teeth, they crawled into bed, Annelie cradling Carolyn from behind.

She ravaged me. She pressed me against the wall, insatiable, and turned on beyond anything I've experienced with her…or anyone. Almost asleep, Annelie thought about how Carolyn had made love to her. She dominated me, but she didn't try to control me. How does she do it? She's had no experience loving women before me. She claimed me tonight. There's no other word for it.

Carolyn had a habit of calling Annelie hers, but in a way that made Annelie feel loved and protected, not possessed. Perhaps it was because they took turns being the strong one. Cuddling Carolyn, she felt her lover's naked bottom against her sex and suddenly remembered the other woman's fantasy about taking her in every way possible. Not at all shocked by how Carolyn's mind worked, Annelie vowed to turn that fantasy into reality. Soon.

***

"Can you believe someone will travel great distances for the opportunity to ask one single question—and they want to know if my belly button is an innie or an outie?" Carolyn's incredulous tone made the other passengers double over as the chartered jet leveled out at thirty thousand feet. It was just before midnight.

"I'm even more awed at how you found your bearings and kept from laughing when you replied," Harvey's wife, Francine, offered, wiping tears from her cheeks. "In fact, there were some outrageous questions directed at all of you."

"I still can't get over the question about my boots," Helen added. "Did you hear that girl call them fuck-me boots?" She grinned. "I was shocked and appalled. Now I can't wear them without wondering what signals I'm sending."

"Liar," Annelie snorted. "You were flattered!"

Helen playfully swatted Annelie's arm. "Well, can you blame me? The kid was half my age."

"And so infatuated with you, she was ready to climb up on the stage." Annelie laughed.

"Who can blame her? She confessed Erica Becker is her favorite character, and there Erica was, in the flesh, and—in very special boots." Harvey winked.

"Yeah, very useful boots," Annelie teased.

Helen rolled her eyes at her before sending Harvey a broad smile.

"I'll say." Harvey stroked his mustache, trying to keep a straight face. "But I don't think the girl would've reacted the same way if I'd worn those boots."

"Don't sell yourself short," Carolyn said. "Who knows?"

"Hardly! However, I'm glad we're not doing any more conventions for a while. My hand needs to recover first." Harvey wiggled the fingers on his right hand in the air.

"Your hand? What happened to it?" Carolyn frowned.

"I must have signed more than a thousand autographs. I'm an old man, remember? I can't imagine how many you two beauties signed."

"At least twice that, old man," his wife teased. "I think even Annelie signed more autographs than you."

Carolyn smiled as she glanced at her lover, sitting next to her. "You got a lot of attention, didn't you?"

"More than I was comfortable with initially, but, once I got over my first panic, I was fine. People were really kind."

Carolyn hadn't realized until after the performances how people had surrounded Annelie, eager to show their support and wanting autographs. She could well imagine Annelie's first reaction.

"Annelie? I've got faxes coming in for you," Gregory said from behind them. "Want me to bring them to you?"

"No, I'll come back there." Annelie disappeared to the desk area.

"Monday is business as usual, then," Helen mused. "I'm actually excited about continuing the readings. Was it Friday we're starting the first studio rehearsals?"

"Yes, I believe so." Carolyn nodded. "As far as I know, they've completed Erica Becker's apartment. By then, they should've come close to finishing Maddox's place and the interior of the police station."

They continued to talk shop for a moment until Annelie returned with an odd expression on her face.

"What's up?" Carolyn felt her heart flutter.

"The security company faxed a copy of the police report from Friday afternoon. Trevor White is in custody, as we knew, and they expect the ADA to go after him with a list of charges." Annelie sat down next to Carolyn again. "I'm just relieved he didn't turn out to be my father."

Carolyn reached around her, squeezing Annelie's shoulders. "I know, love. So are we."

"Also, Regina left a message. She wants everyone to take tomorrow off and work on your scenes at home. Apparently she has to take care of some problems that have cropped up, but she'll be ready for Tuesday's readings."

"You know, that's not such a bad idea. I get jet-lagged even with the three-hour difference," Harvey said and then suddenly sniffed the air. "Oh, dear God, tell me that's what I think it is."

Annelie, breaking out of her reverie, smiled at the hopeful look on Harvey's face. "If you mean the best hamburgers with all the extras money can buy, it is. The chef's fixing them in the kitchen."

"French fries? Onion rings? Quarter pounders?"

Harvey's eyes widened as Annelie nodded at each suggestion. "And a salad," she added.

"God, are you trying to kill him?" Francine moaned. "He's not a young man anymore. He can't be on a diet like that."

"He won't be after today. This is a special occasion," Annelie said. "We've had so much Italian, seafood, and Japanese food lately. I was in the mood for a regular burger. I can see I'm not the only one."

"All right," Francine muttered. "No onion rings and lots of salad, Harvey."

"Yes, dear." Harvey rubbed his hands. "I'll go see if I can help the chef. Just to carry things out here, dear. Not doing any tasting, I promise." He disappeared toward the back of the plane.

"For an actor, he's such a bad liar," his wife sighed, making the others laugh.

"I'll have to issue a statement tomorrow," Annelie murmured to Carolyn. "Margo said several newspapers and networks won't give up."

"Can't you do it through her?"

Annelie considered. "No, she spoke for me all last week. If this has taught me anything, and you have a big part in this, it's that I have to know when to stop hiding. I'll call a press conference and read a brief statement. If anyone wants any comments after Monday, they'll have to settle for Margo."

"Good girl. I'm proud of you. I know it's not in your nature to do this, but you have a point. You'll do fine." She patted Annelie's knee.

"You're good for me."

Carolyn's heart picked up speed. "And you're even better for me," she whispered.

"Look here, isn't this heaven, I ask you?" Harvey's delighted tone of voice made them turn their heads. He stood next to the coffee table in front of the couch, holding a tray weighed down with hamburgers. "French fries and onion rings coming up!" He shot his wife a sheepish grin. "And salad."

***

Carolyn pulled her cell phone from her pocket, switching it on as she walked through LaGuardia. Her shoulders ached from sleeping in an uncomfortable position on the plane.

"One missed call," she observed, frowning. "Who on earth's calling me at this hour?"

Annelie reached for the phone. "Here, let me show you how to check it. There, it says Joe's Cell. If you press Dial, it'll automatically call his number."

As Carolyn dialed her brother-in-law, an unsettling feeling soured her stomach. No one answered. No one answered at their house either. "Oh, my God, what's wrong?" she murmured. "Why would he call me in the middle of the night, unless—"

Annelie joined Carolyn in the backseat of the waiting limo.

"Do you have any other number you can try? The help they hired?"

"No, I don't have her number. She doesn't work weekends, anyway."

"Did you try your voice mail?"

Wanting to slap her forehead, Carolyn punched in the numbers. She turned the phone sideways so Annelie could listen too.

"Carolyn, it's Joe. Beth's in the hospital. Call me as soon as you can. If I can't answer the phone, call my parents." He gave another D.C. number, making her scramble through her purse for a pen, cursing violently.

"Easy, Carolyn. Wait till I find a pen, and then let me listen to it again."

Carolyn stared at the passing traffic with unseeing eyes while Annelie wrote down the number.

"There. Now you can dial."

"I…What if she's lost the baby?" Carolyn's voice was barely audible. "It'll destroy her. Oh, God…"

"Don't think the worst. Make the call, and then we'll figure out what to do."

Reaching for Annelie with one hand, Carolyn began to dial with the other. Vaguely she noticed her fingers had gone numb.

Chapter Sixteen

Annelie glanced at Carolyn, who sat with her hands clenched in her lap. Driving the Volvo down I-95 toward D.C., Annelie was relieved about the lack of traffic at this hour. The car, which handled easily, was more comfortable than her own small sports car.

"I'm glad we decided to take your car. It's only a four-hour drive, probably less at this time of day." Annelie reached out and caressed the fisted hands. "Why don't you take a nap? You'll be exhausted when we get there."

Cold fingers curled around Annelie's hand. "I know. I'm just so worried."

"I'm sure Joe will try your cell phone again as soon as he can. His parents seem nice."

"Yes, they are. When I talked to his mother, she kept trying to comfort me, even though she's worried too. They've really taken Beth to their hearts."

"So no in-law problems for your sister?"

"Perhaps in the beginning, but that was mostly because of me."

"Because of you? Whatever for?" Annelie frowned, surprised at Carolyn's desolate tone of voice.

"I suspect they thought I was this dubious Hollywood person who'd spoiled her young sister rotten. Finally, they came around and started treating Beth like a long-lost daughter. They even warmed up to me eventually."

Annelie heard the exasperation behind the mock sarcasm. And you suffered through it for Beth's sake, didn't you? You knew how they perceived you and you didn't say a word. Oh, Carolyn, if you only knew how apparent your vulnerability is to me. You may think you're hiding it well, and perhaps you are, from people other than me. Knowing only too well how prejudice stung made Annelie want to protect Carolyn in any way she could. She realized how impossible that was, but, glancing at the pained expression on her lover's face, she vowed to try. You'll never have to face such a thing alone again, Carolyn.

"Close your eyes, Carolyn," Annelie suggested, raising their joined hands to her lips. "I'll put on some music." She turned on the stereo, which was tuned to a station playing classical music. "Excellent."

Carolyn reclined her seat and stretched out. She reached behind her for a blanket from the backseat and spread it over her legs. "She has to be all right," she murmured. "She has to."

"Shh, just relax now."

Annelie set the cruise control to 65 miles per hour and settled back, rolling her shoulders. Traffic was still sparse, and she was confident they would reach D.C. quicker by car than by air. This way, they could drive straight to the hospital where Beth was undergoing treatment for premature labor. According to Joe's mother, who was keeping little Pamela, Beth was hemorrhaging and having contractions.

Carolyn had told her more about Beth's previous miscarriages while they drove from the airport to Carolyn's condo. Not only had she lost the babies, but she'd also gone through some painful complications. Beth is certainly brave to try again after such ordeals.

A soft whimper came from the passenger seat. Annelie turned her head and saw Carolyn curling up, a deep frown marring her forehead. Her breaths came in short bursts as she apparently fought some demons in her sleep. Annelie reached out and shook the shoulder closest to her. "Sweetheart, you're dreaming. Wake up."

Carolyn shied away from her hand, moaning. She was trembling under the blanket, and tears outlined her lashes.

Reading the road signs, Annelie saw they were only minutes from a rest area. She pulled off the interstate, parked, and turned to Carolyn. "Sweetheart? Wake up. Come here." She leaned in to hug her.

Carolyn fought her embrace for a short moment, but then seemed to recognize the touch. She looked at Annelie through tears while blinking fiercely. "Annie?"

"You had a bad dream. You're okay now."

Clearing her throat, Carolyn tried to sit up but changed her mind. "Where are we?"

"About halfway, maybe a little more. Are you okay?"

Carolyn's eyes narrowed and a wry smile appeared on her face. "You ask me that a lot, you know."

Annelie smiled, nuzzling her lover's hair. "And so do you. Want some coffee?"

Carolyn raised her seat back and tossed the blanket aside. "Coffee might just do the trick."

"Want me to get it for us?"

"No thanks, love. I need to stretch my legs." Carolyn got out of the car, pulling her coat closer around her as the autumn breeze played havoc with her hair.

Annelie circled the car to stand close to Carolyn. Without hesitation, she pushed the disheveled tresses out of her lover's face, letting her thumb quickly brush against her tightened lips. "Don't worry. We'll be there in no time."

"I know. It's just…"

"…she was once your baby."

Hooking her arm under Annelie's, Carolyn nodded. "I'm so glad you understand. If I didn't already love you, I'd fall in love with you this instant."

***

"Carolyn!" Joe was pale and needed a shave. "Beth'll be so glad to see you. Hell, I'm glad you're here." He pulled her into a firm hug.

"How is she?" Carolyn pulled back, examining Joe's features for any signs of disaster and noticing the dark circles under his eyes.

"She's doing everything they tell her and she's not complaining, but she's scared." Joe glanced over Carolyn's shoulder. "You must be Ms. Peterson?"

"Oh, sorry." Carolyn sighed, wanting to kick herself. "Joey, this is my good friend, Annelie Peterson. Annie, this is Joseph Rossi."

"I guessed as much. Nice to meet you, Joe. Please call me Annelie. I just wish we'd met under happier circumstances."

"Nice to meet you too, Annelie. I'm so glad you could come. Beth can't wait to meet you. Perhaps you can distract her a little." Carolyn noticed her brother-in-law didn't seem convinced. "Come on. She's in room 1412."

Carolyn stopped in the doorway, looking at her sister lying in bed with several IVs connected to her arm. Beth was beyond pale.

Carolyn stepped inside. "Hello, kiddo. How you doing?"

Beth's eyes snapped open. "Lyn!" She stuck out a hand and burst into tears. "Oh, Lyn, it's happening all over again. I'm going to lose my baby."

Carolyn rushed to the bed, pulling her little sister into her arms and rocking her. "You don't know that, honey. Joe just told me how brave you are. He says you're following the doctor's orders to the letter. Have faith in that."

"I can't go through this again. I'm so scared. I was doing everything right at home too. Staying off my feet, letting the help do everything. And Pamela's been good as gold. Why's this happening now? We never should have tried again."

Carolyn's heart ached. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Annelie and Joe waiting. Annelie raised her hand, indicating she knew Beth was in no shape to meet a stranger. Wiggling her cell phone, she motioned toward the exit. Carolyn nodded.

Focusing on her sister, Carolyn ignored her uncomfortable position, not about to let go of the distraught woman. "I don't know, but I'm here now. So's Joe. We'll see this through, and you and the baby will be all right. I'm not leaving you until you're okay, I promise."

Carefully rocking Beth some more, she hoped her acting skills wouldn't fail her. She wanted to believe her own words, but it was hard.

Carolyn felt the thin form in her arms gradually relax. "That's it, sweetie. Just go to sleep. It's the best thing for you. I'll be right here. Joe too."

Joe came in and helped her lower the now-sleeping Beth onto the pillows. "Amazing," he whispered, stroking his wife's hair. "She's had a hard time relaxing, even when the doctors told her it'd be best for her and the baby. You two have an astonishing connection."

"Yes, we do." Carolyn reached out for Joe's hand. "And so do the two of you."

"Yes, but sometimes you need the person who comforted you when you were little."

"I know I've certainly missed our mother over the years. Beth doesn't remember her, of course, but I do. When Mom died, though I was young, I knew I had to be a mother to Beth. It was odd. Our father was wonderful in many ways, but he couldn't fathom how difficult it all was." She flashed Joe a wistful smile. "Don't get me wrong. Beth was a gorgeous baby and I loved tending to her."

Joe pulled up two more chairs around the bed. "I know you did. You were just a child, and suddenly you had two children of your own."

"True."

Joe stroked his wife's damp forehead. "She was afraid to fall asleep earlier. She was convinced the baby would be gone when she woke up."

"Oh, God, poor Beth. No wonder she was so wound up."

Almost soundless steps approached from behind, making them both turn their heads. Annelie looked hesitant, but Joe rose, pointing to the empty chair next to Carolyn. "Please have a seat. Beth's asleep, but I know she won't mind us sitting here. In fact, I know she'd feel safe if she wakes up to the sound of our voices."

"You sure? Thank you." Annelie sat down. "Carolyn, I called Margo and let her know where we are."

"Good. Everything okay at her end?"

"Yes. I told her to enjoy her Sunday. Everything going on can wait till we go back."

The three of them sat in silence, occasionally engaging in small talk as Beth rested. Joe had been awake all night but refused to leave his wife and go home for a nap. Carolyn admired his stamina.

Looking at Beth's face, almost transparent in its paleness, Carolyn wanted to make a bargain with the devil if only her sister wouldn't lose her child. Suddenly Beth jerked and woke with a start, her body curling up as she gave a muted cry.

"No! Oh, it hurts…"

Joe pressed the alarm and Carolyn rose, taking Beth's hand. "Calm down, Beth. We've called for help. Try to relax, sweetie."

"I can't! It hurts too much." Beth yanked her hand free, pressing both hands onto her stomach as if to protect the endangered fetus. "No, no, no, this can't be happening…" Her voice rose to a loud cry as pain wracked her body.

Annelie disappeared out the door when several of the medical staff entered. Carolyn pressed her back against the wall, watching them administer more drugs and try to calm her sister. Unless they threw her out, she was not about to leave. She'd promised Beth to be there.

Joe looked up at his sister-in-law from where he was leaning over

Beth. "Carolyn? Please try to talk to her again. She's shaking so badly." His dark eyes were brimming with tears.

Circling the medical staff working around Beth, Carolyn stepped close to the bed. She leaned down, hugging Beth. "Please, baby, stop fighting so. Let the drugs do their job and just relax. There you go, try to breathe in and out. Nice and slow. Settle down."

"You don't understand," Beth moaned, tears and drops of sweat mixing at her temples. "You just don't understand. You've never been a mother, and you don't know what it's like to lose a child. It's not like losing a damn role!"

Stiffening at the stinging words, Carolyn swallowed hard, forcing herself to remember her sister was in a lot of pain and under great stress. "Shh, sweetie, calm down. That's it. The medication's working now, right? Can you feel it?"

Slowly the cramps lessened, and after a while Beth fell back into a deep sleep. Carolyn stretched her aching back, looking at Joe and the doctor. "What's happening now?"

"We gave her a new medication," the young doctor said. "All we can do is wait and see. You did a great job of calming Mrs. Rossi down. She's been terrified ever since she was brought in."

"Thank you." Carolyn moved out of the way to let Joe sit on the bed next to his wife. "She needs to see your face when she wakes up."

Joe pressed his lips together in a fine line. "I'm so glad you're here, Carolyn."

"She's my baby," Carolyn said. "I'll go see if I can find some coffee, okay? I'll be right around the corner." She walked out of Beth's room and found Annelie waiting just outside the door.

"You said something about coffee?" Annelie asked, holding up a cup. "Here you go."

Her lips trembling, Carolyn forced a smile, accepting the steaming drink. "Thank you."

"About what Beth said…it was her pain and fear talking. You know that, don't you?" Annelie blew on her hot tea, carefully studying Carolyn's face over the rim of her mug.

"Yes," Carolyn answered quickly. "Of course I do."

Sipping her coffee, Carolyn leaned against the wall, drawing a trembling breath. Beth's pain was her own.

***

"You look 100 percent better, sweetie."

"I feel better, too." Beth managed a tired smile.

Annelie stood in the doorway, not wanting to disturb the sisters. She recognized the guarded expression in Carolyn's eyes and wondered if Beth noticed it.

"If you're up to it," Carolyn continued, "there's someone I want you to meet. Annelie?"

On cue, Annelie stepped inside the room and walked up to them.

"Beth, this is Annelie Peterson, my friend. Annelie, this is my sister Beth."

"Oh, it's great to finally meet you, Annelie," Beth gushed, color returning to her cheeks. The tormented woman Annelie had seen earlier had disappeared. Now, almost ten hours later, the danger seemed to be over, at least for now.

"I'm glad to see you're feeling better," Annelie smiled. "I've looked forward to meeting you and your family."

"Thanks for helping Carolyn get here so fast." Beth's expression turned serious. "Joe told me you drove all the way."

"I was happy to help."

Beth looked at Carolyn, her cheeks reddening. "Lyn? Won't you sit?" She gestured to the bed. "I…"

Carolyn sat down on the side of the bed, taking Beth's hand in hers. "The only thing that matters is you're feeling better. Both of you."

"No, it's not all that matters. I said horrible things to you. Lynnie, I didn't mean it." Beth clung to her sister's hand. "I was scared, and I didn't mean it the way it came out." Tears dropped from blue-gray eyes so like Carolyn's. "I'm sorry."

Annelie saw the tension lessen in Carolyn's shoulders as she leaned forward to kiss her little sister. "Hush, now. I knew you were in pain. I understand, Beth. Don't give it a second thought."

"You know everything, and more, about being a mom. You're my sister, but you're my mother too."

Feeling tears rise in her own eyes, Annelie had to swallow hard when she heard the love and sincerity obvious in Beth's voice. Carolyn's ready understanding and forgiveness also warmed her heart. Glancing at Joe, she saw him wink at her. Annelie smiled, nodding back.

"Yes, I am," Carolyn agreed. "I know it. You know it." She placed

her hand on her sister's rounded stomach. "Pamela's little brother or sister will just have to wait till it's safe to come out and join us."

"I'm sure the baby won't dare argue with Grandma." Joe grinned, making Annelie and Beth laugh when Carolyn gave him a lethal glare. "Only kidding, Lyn."

"It's one thing being a mother, but a granny is something entirely different," Carolyn huffed, unable to suppress a smile.

"I'm staying here tonight," Joe said. "Why don't the two of you take my keys and go to the house? You must be exhausted."

"Yes, please do," Beth implored. "We just stocked up the fridge and freezer. I'm sure there's something easy you can fix. Like frozen pizza, or…what?" She looked back and forth between the two women as Carolyn rolled her eyes and Annelie snorted at her words. "What did I say?"

***

The artificial current in the endless pool slid along her skin like a caress as Carolyn swam forcefully toward no goal. Knowing Beth's condition was stable, she was relieved to be home in New York.

After they had disposed of the car and their luggage, Carolyn had showered and gone directly to the pool, while Annelie headed for the study to take care of business.

Carolyn felt the tension in her joints recede as she kept up an even pace. She was sure swimming would take care of the burning sensation in the muscles in the back of her neck and between her eyes.

When a pair of long legs appeared, Carolyn pressed the Stop button while treading water against the current.

"Finished your e-mails already?"

"Yes." Annelie shrugged. "There weren't that many. I meant to ask you something. Jem e-mailed, and she sounds like she's ready for a vacation after last week's craziness. I think she's pulled all-nighters more than she'll admit."

"Well, why don't we ask her to come stay with us? She'll have the apartment to herself most of the day since we'll be at work. The place is big enough."

Annelie gave a faint smile. "How can you be so perceptive? You always seem to understand."

Carolyn swam to the ladder and climbed out of the water. Reaching for a towel, she returned the smile. "You're so incredibly considerate and always want my opinion about these things. Why wouldn't I do the same? Jem's a good friend of yours, and I like her. If Jem needs a break…Also, she's not stupid. She's figured out the truth about us, hasn't she?" Carolyn walked over to Annelie, wrapping her arms around her lover.

"Yes." Annelie nuzzled Carolyn's damp hair. "Why don't you take another quick shower and dry your hair? I'll just give Jem a call."

"Go ahead. Tell her I said hi." Carolyn let go of her lover, patting her bottom as she left. Annelie raised a sardonic eyebrow at the gesture but had a humorous twinkle in her eyes.

Carolyn followed Annelie's suggestion and then climbed into bed, her body feeling heavy and lethargic. She turned on some soft music, pulled the covers up over her naked body, and settled against the pillows, letting the music surround her.

They had left D.C. after breakfast and one last visit with Beth in the hospital. Carolyn agreed to leave only when she was satisfied her sister was better. Explaining to Beth and Joe she was staying with Annelie during the filming, she'd given them the number to her own line, begging them to keep her posted.

Beth had cried when they said goodbye but lit up when Annelie promised her and Joe a tour of the studio. Carolyn smiled to herself at the look on her sister's face when Annelie had offered to be their personal guide.

"This looks cozy." The cool alto voice made Carolyn's heart jump.

"Come to bed," she suggested, flipping back the covers. "I know it's only late afternoon, but we're exhausted. You did most of the driving."

"Good idea. I'll be right back."

Annelie soon returned smelling of her special grapefruit bath gel, her long hair slightly damp.

"I'm too tired to make love," Carolyn confessed, "but I'd love for you to join me."

"Dressed like this?" Annelie interrupted, letting her short terry-cloth robe fall to the floor.

Standing there as naked as Eve before the fall, Annelie made Carolyn's throat constrict. Gently she cleared her throat. "Oh, my."

Annelie walked over to the bed, crawled under the covers, and pulled Carolyn into her arms. Soft skin against soft skin made Carolyn lose her breath. Too exhausted to think about sex, she let her hands slide slowly along Annelie's body; merely feeling her was enough.

"I know, in a relationship, you don't always have to thank each other," Carolyn murmured. "This isn't one of those times. You've done so much for me, love. And I don't take any of it for granted."

Annelie pressed a soft kiss on her forehead. "I know."

"Is Jem coming?"

"Yes. She's flying in Wednesday morning."

"Good. Will you meet her?"

"I can't. I'm in meetings all day. I'll send a car for her."

Resting on Annelie's shoulder, Carolyn closed her eyes. As she pulled the pillow under her cheek to not weigh her lover down, she sighed contentedly. "This is heaven."

"Mmm."

Annelie's soft curves pressed into Carolyn as she pulled her closer, wrapping a slender leg around her. "Is this okay?"

"More than okay. It's perfect."

***

Margo looked up from her desk in the heart of the office. "Annelie! Good, you're back. Did all the work you took care of from home yesterday pay off? When I talked to Carolyn earlier, she said you were up past midnight to fine-tune your presentation. How did the meeting go?"

"Excellent." Annelie beamed. "We really made progress, Margo. It looks like we have the go-ahead for those shelters. What did Carolyn want?"

"Just to say hello, I think. She'll call back later."

"Okay. Everything all right here?" Annelie gestured toward the other offices.

"Running smoothly now we can focus on the important things. Oh, speaking of that, there's a package for you. From California."

Annelie had started walking toward her office and now stopped abruptly, her heart speeding up. "California?"

"Yes, from the investigator."

"I thought I'd received all the documents regarding my father and Trevor White. I'd rather not read anything more about that imposter." Annelie scowled.

"I know, but here they are anyway, girlie." Margo handed over a thick parcel. "Seems like an awful lot, just to be documents."

"I'll take a look at this in my office. Hold my calls for now, unless it's personal."

"Will do."

Annelie tossed the package down on her empty desk, then placed her hand on it as if trying to gauge its contents. Suddenly filled with anxiety, she felt her mouth grow stale. She took a deep breath before sliding a letter opener along the edge of the package, opening it carefully, and glancing inside.

She didn't find legal documents or anything resembling what the investigator had previously sent her. Instead, Annelie pulled out two large stacks of small, tattered envelopes.

Breathing hard, she saw her father's name on them and, turning one over, she recognized her mother's name as the sender. They were dated between March 1978 and December 1981.

When she investigated the large package more carefully, she pulled out a single piece of paper, which she skimmed, hoping for a clarification. The package was indeed from the investigator, who explained how the police had discovered the letters among Trevor White's belongings.

With trembling hands, Annelie untied the string and opened the first letter, written only a week after her father left.

Dear Stuart,

First of all, I hope your trip down south went well and you are feeling better. You were so upset when you left and I am grateful Annie was not home to witness it. She adores you and to see her father in your present frame of mind would have been too much for a child like her.

Writing you at a post office box is worrying. How will I be able to get a hold of you in case something happens

to either me or Annie? Is there a phone number I can ring? Please let me know.

Annie asks for you every day when she comes home from school. It is difficult to tell her I am not sure when you will be coming home.

Please write soon, Stuart. We miss you and I am certain we can make it work if you would only give me, and Annie, another chance.

Your loving wife,

Anna

The hopeful tone in Anna's first letter diminished in every letter Annelie read. She had written her husband for more than three years— at first, every week, and then every month. Heartbreaking sentences of how Annelie stopped asking for her father after a while, and how lonely Anna felt while waiting for her husband to contact her. In the last six letters, her tone became resigned and resentful. When he had missed three birthdays and four Christmases, Anna wrote the last letter on New Year's Eve, 1981.

Stuart,

Annie is ten years old. Her three last birthdays have gone by unnoticed from your end. No gifts, and no Christmas presents…not even a card. If you had seen her sitting by the phone, all dressed up, and ignoring the friends I invited to her party, just waiting, afraid she would miss your call…which of course never came.

You make me so angry and I have to be honest—I hate you for what you have done to her. I don't care what you have done to me; I'm a grown woman who can take care of myself. But the child...

Here the letter was unreadable, perhaps from her mother's tears.

...will not write anymore. You have been an invisible member of this family for three years now, but no more. We do not expect to hear from you. If you choose to return to Chicago, know this; you are not welcome here.

Anna

Annelie leaned back in her chair, her eyes full of tears and her stomach a tight knot. Anna had hated her father in the end. Who could blame her? How I wished and hoped he'd return. Every day, for the first year, I expected him to call. When he didn't, when Mom finally stopped reassuring me, I still clung to the hope he would come. If not that day, then next birthday, next Christmas…

Annelie remembered hoping he'd return and mend their little family. I don't know why I was so hopeful for so long. He showed me hardly any interest the first seven years of my life. Mom gave me unconditional love, but thinking back, I realize he merely tolerated me at best. And even Mom finally reached her breaking point. Reading the letters had let her see her mother's more human side, which was a relief.

She jumped when the phone rang, dropping the last letter as she reached for it. "Peterson."

"Hello, love. How's your day going?"

The sound of the familiar husky voice made the tears roll down Annelie's cheeks. "Oh, Carolyn…"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing…I received a package in the mail. My mother's old letters to my father, and I've just read some of them."

"Oh, Annie. I thought she didn't know where he was."

"She didn't. Apparently he gave her a post-office box as an address. As far as I can tell from her letters, he never replied."

"Damn."

The curse echoed Annelie's feelings. "How're things going today?" she asked, wanting to change the subject.

"Great. We've finished the first scenes, and later this week we'll start rehearsing in the studio."

"What scene are you starting with?"

"The one where Maddox shows up at Erica's place, demanding to know why her partner's acting so strange."

"That's the scene leading up to their rendezvous at the office. Are you nervous about acting it out with Helen?"

"Not really. I think it's good we're doing those scenes first. Strangely, Helen and I are becoming friends. I'm afraid we'd get giggly about it if we become too chummy, no matter how seasoned we are. We need to keep the tension as long as possible."

"Maybe you're right. How does Helen feel?"

"She actually told me of her one, quite innocent, encounter with another woman. It was ages ago and never led to anything, but she thought she'd tap into it when we do the love scenes. I didn't tell her, but I think she guesses I have plenty to tap into."

Annelie had to laugh. "You're bad!"

"No, I'm good at being bad, you mean." There was a smile in Carolyn's voice. "I have to go, love. Are you all right about the letters?"

"I am now. Listen, I'll bring them home tonight. Will you read them over with me? I need to talk about some of the things in them. Or perhaps we should wait, since Jem'll be there."

"We can read them in bed before we go to sleep. No reason to wait and have them weighing on your mind."

Annelie gave a relieved sigh. "Sounds like a great idea. It's a date, then."

As she hung up, Annelie felt the butterflies leave her stomach, at least for the time being.

Her thoughts shifted to Carolyn. She sounds a little stressed, but that's normal at the beginning of a new job. Thank goodness Carolyn's not too worried about doing the love scenes. What if I'd become jealous because she's going to be almost naked with another woman in a couple of scenes? Now I know how Carolyn and Helen plan to approach the scenes, I certainly don't have anything to worry about there.

Shaking her head, Annelie checked her watch and realized Jem must have arrived at the apartment. She dialed her home number.

"Peterson residence."

"Peterson herself here. How was your flight?"

"Short and turbulent. I tried to work on the flight, but it got so bad,

I think I made permanent indentations in my laptop. It was all I had to hold on to."

"You were working on the plane, Jem? Isn't this supposed to be a vacation?"

"A something-in-between, I'm afraid. I just received two new manuscripts, and they need my opinion before the week's over. One's really promising and the other one…well, let's just say I can't get a grip on it."

"Intriguing either way. If you need another opinion, just let me know."

"Sure. By the way, when will you be home? I'm cooking."

Annelie grinned. Jem's cooking skills were one of her best-kept secrets. "Sounds wonderful. I'll be home around six—Carolyn, soon after."

"Good, then I'll know what to aim for. I'll run down to a grocery store I passed about a block away. It looked promising."

"Marco's? They have everything you could possibly need. Especially their seafood section."

"Is that a request?"

"Well, you know I love any kind of seafood."

"How about gratineed lobster with a salad?"

"Excellent! See you around six, then?"

"I'll be the one wearing the apron."

Hanging up, Annelie tried to envision her chief editor in an apron. Jem intimidated a lot of people, since she didn't tolerate fools and made no bones about it. Perhaps if they saw her wearing an apron and a chef's hat, they'd think differently.

Her mood suddenly brighter after her two phone calls, Annelie put her mother's letters back into the package. She'd get through things, one at a time.

***

Nothing remained of the meal. Carolyn looked down at her rounded stomach, wondering if she'd be able to fit into her clothes at work. They were going to shoot the first scene a day earlier than expected.

"Jem, you're going to cause me all kinds of trouble. Yesterday lobsters, and today this incredible casserole. I'll pop the buttons in all of my clothes," she groaned.

"What can I say? I love to cook. I don't have time when I'm home because I work so much and, frankly, cooking for one isn't very inspiring." Jem shrugged. "I'm glad you liked it."

"Liked it?" Annelie moaned, unbuttoning her jeans. "I don't think that's the right word."

Looking at the empty plates, Jem grinned. "I take that as a compliment."

"We've got to have the Davidsons and Helen over one night," Annelie said. "We can't keep Jem's skills a secret like this. They'll never forgive us."

"I like Helen St. Cyr," Jem said. "She seemed really down-to-earth and nice when we talked briefly at the Orlando convention."

"She is," Carolyn agreed. "We get along better all the time, and I think she and Annelie really hit it off flying back from L.A."

"She has a great sense of humor." Annelie shared the story about Helen's fuck-me boots.

Jem laughed out loud, leaning back into her chair. "Oh, God, the things people want to know. I'm still laughing at the smooth-or-crunchy-peanut-butter question someone asked you, Carolyn."

"In L.A., it was about my belly button," Carolyn said. "It's pretty innocent, though."

"We ought to invite some people from the set." Annelie ran a finger over her lips. "Perhaps Regina and Gregory."

"And Margo."

"Yes, that'd be a lot of fun," Annelie said. "We can make it a casual get-together, nothing fancy. Except the food, of course. I promise to be your kitchen slave, Jem."

"Good. I hate to wash dishes."

"I'll just call for maid service."

As they cleared the table and filled the dishwasher, Carolyn moved with care, since flashes of light sparkled behind her eyelids. The food hadn't stopped her escalating headache. Not wanting to worry the others, she turned to Annelie with a casual smile. "Think it's time for my swim, love. I'll join you in the living room later."

Annelie frowned. "You look pale. Do you have a headache?"

"A little one. It was a long day. A swim will take care of that." Carolyn forced herself to smile.

Annelie didn't look convinced, but she relented. "All right. I'll make you some café latte."

Carolyn smiled again, this time more genuinely. "Oh, you're such a treasure. Royal Copenhagen?"

"Of course." Annelie kissed her on the nose. "Go on."

Carolyn shot Jem a glance and was relieved to see her grin. "You two are too cute for words," she said.

Rolling her eyes in mock exasperation, and immediately regretting it since it sent a jolt of pain through her temples, Carolyn went to get ready. Examining her face in the bathroom mirror, she realized Annelie was right. She was pale, with dark shadows under her eyes.

As Carolyn pushed through the cool water, her arms seemed heavier than normal. Changing from the breaststroke to a crawl, she tried to ignore the pain in her shoulders. The current seemed stronger than usual, making her wonder if she'd accidentally changed the settings. After another ten minutes of the searing ache, she decided to stop and was stunned at how difficult it was to climb out of the pool.

Stumbling into the shower, she let hot water flow down her body, relieved at how it relaxed her. Carolyn closed her eyes, willing her breathing to calm down. I can't let Jem and Annelie see me this way. I've got to keep these silly headaches under control.

After her shower, Carolyn avoided the noisy hairdryer and instead swallowed two Relpax, knowing they'd knock her out.

Jem and Annelie were in the living room talking, low music playing in the background.

"Ladies, I'm heading for bed."

Annelie's head snapped up. "Already? It's only eight thirty." She walked over to Carolyn and pressed the back of her hand against Carolyn's forehead. "Don't you want your coffee?"

"No. I'm sorry, love. Not tonight. I must be anxious about the first day of filming. I'm exhausted."

"Let me tuck you in. Be right back, Jem."

"Don't worry about me," Jem smiled, waving a DVD cover in their direction. "I found a movie I haven't seen. Mind if I pop this in?"

"Of course not."

After Annelie folded the covers back, Carolyn climbed in, dressed in one of Annelie's long T-shirts. "Thanks, love."

"Shh, just relax. Want me to rub your temples?"

"Could you kiss them instead? It helps when you press your lips right where it hurts."

Annelie leaned over Carolyn and kissed her forehead. Slowly the pain dissipated, fading to a faint throb. "Oh, yes."

Not saying anything, Annelie kept kissing her forehead. The motion was hypnotizing, and Carolyn felt herself drift off into the half-conscious state just before sleep. "…so much…" she murmured.

"Better?"

"…love you…"

"I know. Go to sleep. I love you too," Annelie whispered against her skin. "You'll be fine. That's it. Sleep."

Carolyn wanted to say how much she appreciated Annelie's care, but the words forming in her head never reached her lips.

***

Regina Carmichael waved the script in the air, a sure sign she had something important to say.

"Listen up, ladies. You've got to make the audience realize how much the denial and evasions of their mutual attraction torment Erica. This scene will ratchet up the tension for the all-important one where Erica kisses Maddox. Carolyn, play Maddox as bewildered, yet furious. Helen, Erica is defensive and equally angry. You did a great job at the tabletop exercise. Now show me you can take it over the top. Everything clear?"

Carolyn nodded briskly. "Yes."

They moved into position, Carolyn standing below a concrete staircase that led up to Erica's apartment and Helen upstairs, behind a green door. The crew rustled around them.

"All right, people. Look sharp. Camera!"

"Camera running."

"Silence! Scene twenty-two. Take one. Action!"

Carolyn hurried up the stairs and knocked on the door.

"Cut! Sorry, Carolyn, the mike was in the picture. Again, please."

Walking back down, inhaling deeply, she braced herself for the next attempt.

After a few adjustments, Regina gave her command again. "Take two. Action."

Carolyn repeated her maneuver and reached the top of the stairs. "Good. Let's move on to the next scene while you're still up there, Carolyn. You ready, Helen?" Regina said after the third take.

"Yup."

Swallowing against her nausea, Carolyn prepared for Helen to initiate the quarrel scene.

At the director's command, Helen yanked the door open and glared at her. "Diana, what a surprise," she said resentfully. "Working around the clock as usual. What's up?"

Carolyn leaned against the door frame, staring at Helen with narrowing eyes. "You left in the middle of our conversation."

"Conversation?" Helen huffed. "You were lecturing. I swear, if you ever talk to me in that condescending tone of voice again, I'll—" Her voice broke off, completely falling out of character. "Carolyn?"

Sweat was pouring down Carolyn's back under her shirt and black leather jacket. Everything blurred, and the stairs to her left swayed. She tried to move away from them, but her legs wouldn't cooperate. Nausea made her swallow hard, and she began to fall.

"Oh, God. Carolyn!"

As her pain became unbearable, taking away her vision, she felt hands clutch at her jacket. She fell, expecting to slam into the concrete steps, yet unable to stop herself. In the distance she heard loud voices shout her name.

***

Helen watched Carolyn go beyond pale. In fact, she quickly turned gray. When she began to fall toward the long stairs, Helen acted on impulse. Reaching out, she managed to grab the lapels of Carolyn's leather jacket and pull the other woman toward her.

Carolyn's body slammed into hers as they both fell into the hallway of Erica Becker's apartment. Landing painfully on the floor, Carolyn on top of her, Helen lost her breath for a minute.

When Carolyn didn't try to move, Helen managed to make her voice work. "Carolyn? You okay?" Then she freed a hand and touched Carolyn's cheek, which was cold and damp. "Carolyn!"

Chapter Seventeen

Keep the change." Annelie pressed some bills into the cabdriver's hand and jumped out of the car. She wanted to scream with impatience when a family of at least six cut her off at the hospital entrance.

Inside, she frantically looked for the emergency room, her heart pounding. Half running toward the ER entrance, she clung to what Regina had said. Carolyn was awake when the ambulance drove away from the studio. She had to be all right.

The nurses' station in the ER was as crowded as the front door. Trying to draw even breaths, Annelie waited in line. She fought an overwhelming urge to push the people ahead of her out of the way, knowing they had equally pressing concerns.

"Annelie? Over here!" A familiar male voice made her whirl around, and Gregory walked toward her. "They're over here."

She forced herself not to run. "How is she? And what do you mean by they? What's happened?"

"Helen's here too. She needed a couple of stitches in the back of her head after the fall."

"What fall?" Annelie felt confused and unable to focus. "What're you talking about? I thought Carolyn fainted. What happened to Helen?"

Gregory gently took her by the elbow and led her farther down the corridor. "Carolyn did faint. From what they told me, she already looked pale this morning. After running up and down some stairs several times during rehearsal and later, during the takes, she passed out."

"Oh, God," Annelie murmured, stopping outside the curtains. "And who fell?" The door behind them opened, and Helen stepped outside, dressed

in pants and a hospital robe. "We both did. Carolyn landed on me when she collapsed." She walked up to Annelie and hugged her. "She's okay, Annelie. She just came down from X-ray and the doctor's with her now." She gestured toward a door across the corridor.

"Helen saved her," Gregory added, drawing a stern look from the actress. "Well, you did. Regina said if you hadn't pulled Carolyn toward you, she could've fallen down the stairs."

Annelie felt her knees buckle and, for a second, only Helen's strong arms held her up. "What?"

"Gregory! You've got the tact of a bulldozer." Helen turned back to Annelie. "She scared us all for a minute. At first I couldn't tell if she was breathing or not."

"And then?"

"People came running from all directions. The staff nurse made everyone leave Carolyn alone and not move her while she examined her. When they finally moved her, Carolyn woke up, dizzy and with a headache, but able to stand on her feet."

"Can I see her?" Annelie's eyes brimmed with tears.

"The doctor should be out soon." Helen kept her arm around Annelie, who welcomed the comforting touch.

When a doctor finally appeared, Annelie approached him, eager to see her lover. "Doctor, I'm Annelie Peterson. Is my—is Carolyn all right?"

The doctor peered at her over his reading glasses. "Are you next of kin?"

"No, but…yes, in a way."

"I can only answer questions from immediate family members. Sorry." He started to walk away.

"We…she's my…We're like family, doctor." Annelie felt a jab of pain in her stomach while she tried to explain.

"Sorry. Unless you're her sister, I can't share any details." As he began to walk away again, Helen grasped his arm.

"Can we see her?"

"She really needs to rest. Until her family gets here, there's nothing I can—"

"Doctor, these are my friends, and Annelie's right. She is my family," a husky voice interrupted. "I realize you're only protecting my privacy, but, in this case, it's unnecessary."

Annelie pivoted and saw Carolyn standing in the doorway, looking pale and smaller than usual, but with a familiar firm expression in her eyes. The doctor frowned.

"Ms. Black, you really should rest and not—"

"I'll rest, and my friends will keep me company. It's up to me to decide who can stay or not, don't you agree? I feel a lot better, thanks to the medication you prescribed. Start the procedure of having me released, please." Annelie recognized Carolyn's commanding tone of voice.

Not caring if anyone saw them, Annelie walked over to Carolyn and put her arms around her, holding her tight. "You scared me."

"I'm sorry." Carolyn's voice was a mere whisper. "I didn't mean to. God, another hospital, another scare. We can't keep doing this." She tried a smile.

"I know."

"Gregory and I'll find some coffee. See you ladies later." Helen pulled Gregory with her toward the waiting area, tucking the hospital robe tighter around her.

Returning to her room, Carolyn sat down on the gurney, still holding Annelie's hand. "I'm so glad you're here."

Annelie examined Carolyn's face, raising her free hand to touch her lover's lips. "I'm devastated you're here. You scared me. Regina called and all she could say was that you fainted, were unconscious for a while, and they called the paramedics. I…Apart from going with you to see Beth, I haven't really been in a hospital since my mother died."

"Oh, love, come here." Carolyn pulled Annelie closer. "This doctor, in spite of his harsh manners, is very conscientious. He's going to refer me to a different neurologist."

"A neurologist? What does he think is wrong?"

Settling against Annelie's shoulder, Carolyn closed her eyes. "Same as before, but with a twist." She sighed. "He started asking me how my latest weeks have been, and at first I thought, no more stressful than usual, considering how I live my life. Then I began to list everything that's happened. It's been crazy, Annie. Falling in love, the contracts, the imposter, the movie, Beth…The CAT scan was negative, so no reason to think it was anything else than my usual migraines gone awry."

Annelie brushed Carolyn's disheveled hair from her forehead.

"I'm glad they did a thorough check. And you're right. It has been one thing after another. So what did Dr. Standoffish think?"

"That I need to start taking much better care of myself. My blood pressure was elevated—not dangerously high, but still up there. My level of stress, well, the list says it all. I'm not on the most effective medication for my type of migraines, so he's going to take care of that. I'm going to see a dietician—or perhaps it was a nutritionist—I don't remember, to learn more about my condition. The only thing I was doing right was the exercise. He told me to keep swimming."

"Whatever it takes, darling," Annelie sighed, kissing the top of Carolyn's head. Feeling her stiffen, she pulled back. "What?"

Carolyn looked at her with wide eyes. "You called me darling."

Annelie opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again. Blushing faintly, she cleared her throat. "So I did. Do you mind?"

"No, no. It was just such a surprise. You never use terms of endearment." Leaning against Annelie, she closed her eyes again. "Why now? Because you were worried?"

"I don't know. Perhaps. I never use words like that because they're so common and meaningless. I guess it happened because that's what you are."

"I'm what? Common? Now I'm confused."

Placing soft kisses along her lover's hairline, Annelie finally realized Carolyn wasn't in any danger. "Silly. You are my darling. I love you."

Carolyn held on closer. "I love you too."

"What happens now?" Annelie didn't think she could let go of Carolyn.

"They wanted to keep me here overnight, but I refused. I'll be very careful and not do anything but rest this weekend, I promise. I just want you to take me home."

"All right. Home it is."

***

Jem stirred one pot while lowering the temperature on another. "Was that the doorbell?"

"Yes, I'll get it. Helen's on her way up."

Carolyn stayed in a chair by the kitchen table. She felt better but was still shaken from her ordeal earlier in the day. "It smells wonderful, Jem. Casseroles are the perfect autumn food."

"Couldn't agree more. Easy to make, and if there's enough left for the next day, it usually tastes even better. Ah, here's Helen now." Jem wiped her hands on a towel and greeted their guest.

"Nice to see you again, Jem." Helen smiled. "I better warn you, I'm starving."

"Good. I've made enough to feed a small country."

"I'm glad you could join us," Carolyn said. "You don't need to be alone when you just banged your head. Or should I say, I banged your head."

"Didn't they want to keep you in the hospital?" Jem asked while they all sat down around the table. "I thought a twenty-four-hour observation was routine."

"The doctor was pretty exasperated with me, and Carolyn, for going against his recommendations. I pointed out I never lost consciousness so he agreed I could take care of myself. He sent me home with pretty strong pills to take if the headache gets worse."

"Well, I'm glad you're staying with us," Annelie offered, reaching for a bottle of mineral water.

"To be honest, I agree." Helen sighed. "I feel okay, but I do feel headachy."

"Some food and rest will fix that," Jem assured her, rising to check the stove again. "We're lucky Annelie has plenty of space for all of us."

"How long are you staying, Jem?" asked Helen.

"I have to leave Tuesday. I hate to go, because I've really enjoyed evaluating manuscripts in a different environment."

After devouring Jem's chicken casserole, Annelie and Jem took care of the dishes, having pushed Carolyn and Helen into the living room. The actresses sat down on the couch, Carolyn looking at Helen appraisingly. "I never got to thank you earlier. Gregory said you saved me from a nasty fall."

"It was nothing."

"And that nothing made you have several stitches in the back of your head."

"Better that than a broken neck." Helen gazed back. "Really, apart from this silly headache, I'm fine."

Carolyn looked down at her hands, not sure how to phrase what she wanted to say. "Listen, Helen, I'd like to talk to you about something." She paused, looking squarely at the other woman. "I know you're aware of my reputation for being ambitious and competitive. Rumor has it I'm prepared to walk over corpses to get the role I'm after."

Helen propped her arm on the back of the couch, waiting for Carolyn to continue.

"For a long time that was true. First, because I needed the work and the money, and then…because of habit and ambition, I guess. Since we're becoming friends, it matters to me what you think. I used to not give a damn about other people's opinions, and I've never really been friends with another actress, but lately that's changed. I'm tired of competing with everyone."

Carolyn fiddled with the hem of her shirt, twisting it between trembling fingers. "And it's not just about me anymore. I've got someone in my life I care very much about. I want this someone to be proud of me, not only as a professional, but as a person. One way to do that is to be friends with a few special people like you, and to be true to them." Carolyn tried to disentangle her fingers from the shirt, while giving a faint smile. "Am I making any sense at all?"

Helen returned the smile, reaching out for Carolyn's restless hands. "Carolyn, don't worry about it. Yes, I've heard through the grapevine about your ambition. I'm a fairly uncomplicated person with a simple outlook on life. You, Annelie, and now Jem have never treated me with anything but kindness and respect. That's so much more than I bargained for when I agreed to do the audiobooks and the movies. To be accepted into this inner circle of wonderful, caring individuals—that's pretty awesome. As for our budding friendship, I'd say it's more than budding. You're a good person underneath your facade, Carolyn. You just have to realize that for yourself."

Tears rose in Carolyn's eyes at her unexpected feelings of vulnerability.

"Hey, no tears," Helen exclaimed. "Annelie will fire me on the spot." Her face turned serious. "Maybe you've bought into the rumors a little too much? If people say things about you enough, you start believing them. When you go into your professional mode, you're very much Carolyn Black, diva extraordinaire. Maybe it's easy to lose sight of who you really are."

"The last few months have helped me see things from another perspective," Carolyn said. "Being in a relationship and seeing my sister several times, not to mention my niece, have helped keep me grounded."

"Are you happy?" Helen's voice was soft.

"I've never been this happy and content…or dizzy and infatuated either, for that matter." A tender smile played on Carolyn's lips. "You guessed pretty quickly, didn't you?"

"It took me a while, but when you rushed home to Annelie when her so-called father entered the scene, I was sure. You've got a bad case, my friend." Helen gave a cheeky grin, making Carolyn roll her eyes.

"Yes, I do."

"You're keeping it a secret?"

"We haven't discussed that yet. I guess we'll have to agree on a course of action before the whole hoopla around the movie begins."

"What hoopla would that be?" Annelie entered the room with a tray of steaming mugs. "I know you're supposed to cut back on caffeine, Carolyn, but I didn't think a very mild café latte would hurt."

"Thanks, love." Carolyn lit up, grabbing a mug before answering. "Maddox movie hoopla. We were just talking about all the hype about Dying for Fame. It's going to be brutal." She winked at Helen.

"We're going to be interviewed to death. Leno was just a small taste of what's to come." Helen moaned. "Can you imagine? Letterman, Conan…"

"Actually, the producers of The Oprah Winfrey Show have approached us." Annelie sat down next to Carolyn. "We'll do two whole shows based on the books first, and then the movies. This isn't until the premiere, of course."

"Oprah's another matter." Carolyn smiled. "I've never been on her show, but I look forward to it."

Jem slumped back into one of the armchairs. "Who knew, when Annelie signed Delia Carlton—completely unknown at the time—she'd write such an international hit?"

"Oh, that's right. I checked my mail earlier," Annelie added before sitting down next to Carolyn. "I didn't have a chance to tell you all the news."

"What news?"

"You've got to promise me this stays among the four of us." Annelie looked serious.

"Now we're all dying of curiosity." Carolyn turned her head, trying to determine what was up from Annelie's expression.

"Delia Carlton just submitted another manuscript. There's going to be a fourth Diana Maddox book."

"What?" Jem exclaimed, her jaw dropping. "When did you learn about this?"

"Just before Helen arrived. I meant to share it over dinner, but we started talking about other things."

"Does this mean another audiobook and another movie?" Carolyn raised her eyebrows.

"Possibly. I'll read it and then pass it on to my editor." Annelie winked at Jem. "If it's up to her usual standards, which it probably is, I foresee at least an audiobook."

"The fans will go crazy," Helen said. "The secret's safe with me."

"I'm so glad Delia Carlton wrote these books." Carolyn smiled. "So much has come from it."

"Clever lady, in all she does." Annelie raised her mug. "Here's to Delia, without whom none of us would be exactly where we are."

They all raised their coffee mugs.

"To Delia!"

***

Annelie pulled Carolyn onto her shoulder, nuzzling her hair. The familiar scent of her lover's shampoo made her relax into the embrace.

"You all right, love?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Annelie murmured.

"You have. Several times."

Not sure if Carolyn was being facetious, Annelie moved, looking down at her. "I was worried."

"I know, Annie, but I'm fine now. No headache, no dizziness. The new medication works like a charm."

Frowning, Annelie sank down on the pillows. "Please don't downplay it. You scared me today."

Apparently realizing how serious she was, Carolyn rolled over on her side, landing almost nose to nose with Annelie. "I know I did. I think you were paler than I was, at the hospital. I'm sorry."

"No, no, it wasn't your fault. You couldn't help being sick, but I need you to acknowledge my feelings. I sat in the cab forever, in the traffic gridlock from hell, and had no way of knowing how serious your condition was. I was rushing toward a hospital for the second time in a week, and—" Annelie stopped the gush of words when memories of another hospital, another time, overwhelmed her.

"And?" Carolyn prodded gently, wrapping her arms around Annelie, rubbing her back.

"And I was afraid I wouldn't make it in time."

"I'm guessing you didn't make it to the hospital in time when your mother died?" Carolyn's voice was soft.

"I tried to get to her." Annelie gave a muted sob. "I had a test in school, an important one, and I'd studied so hard for it. I took the test, and when I came out, the principal was waiting for me. She drove me to the hospital. Margo met me at the door and told me. Mom was gone."

Carolyn tucked Annelie's ice-cold hands into her armpits, and her freezing feet tangled between her own. "I'm so sorry to hear this, Annie. It must have been so hard for you."

"You went through something similar and you were only twelve, with siblings to raise."

"True."

"And at twenty-one, when you were left completely in charge. We've both been there in different, but still similar, ways." Annelie clung to her lover. "You feel so warm."

"You'll be warm soon too. What time is it?"

Annelie turned her head toward the alarm clock. "Two thirty. Wonder why I can't settle down. I'm keeping you awake too."

"Don't worry about it. It's Saturday. We can sleep in."

Annelie frowned. "Yes, but you still need your sleep. I'll go have some warm milk. Want some?" The disgusted look on Carolyn's face made her smile. "Guess not. I'll be right back."

Annelie grabbed her robe, tiptoeing through the hall toward the kitchen. When she passed the two guest rooms she spotted Jem coming from the bathroom. "You okay?" Annelie whispered.

"Yeah, just too much coffee. What's up? Can't sleep?"

"No, and I'm keeping Carolyn awake."

As Jem began to walk back to her room, something caught her attention. "What's she up to?"

Helen stood motionless farther down the hall, almost ghostlike in her long, white nightgown. Her hair was tousled around her shoulders, and she didn't appear to notice them.

"Helen?" Annelie said in a low voice as they walked up to her. "What're you doing out here?"

There was no reply. The actress's eyes were open, but unfocused.

"She must've taken the pills the doc gave her," Jem said. "She's asleep."

"You mean she's sleepwalking? Should we wake her?"

"No, I don't think so. I'll help her." Jem carefully circled Helen's shoulders with her arm, nudging her toward the guest room. "Come on, honey. Let's get you back to bed." Walking behind them into Helen's room, Annelie watched Jem help the sleeping woman sit down on the bed. Then Jem lifted Helen's legs and coaxed her to move up onto the pillows. "That's right. Up we go." Jem grabbed the sheet and blankets lying on the floor, spreading them over Helen's motionless body and tucking her in. She stood watching the sleeping form for a moment before walking back to the hallway with Annelie.

"Is she all right?" Annelie resumed walking toward the kitchen.

"She's pretty out of it, but she responded when I was talking to her. Still, she took quite a fall today. Speaking of that, is Carolyn okay?"

"Yes, she claims she's fine." Annelie took a carton of milk from the refrigerator, poured some into a mug, and placed it in the microwave. "Want some milk?" Unaware of it, Jem mimicked the face Carolyn had made only minutes before.

"No, I'll head back to bed. I hope that'll do the trick for you, though."

"Me too."

Carrying the mug back to the bedroom, Annelie found Carolyn still awake and waiting for her. She carefully climbed back into bed, sipping from her mug.

"You look like a kid, all tousled and drinking milk," Carolyn whispered. "You're always beautiful, but this is the first time I've ever seen you look cute."

"Cute?" Annelie wrinkled her nose. "Thanks. I think."

Carolyn placed a soft kiss on her cheek. "You're welcome."

Finishing the milk and finally feeling warm again, Annelie curled up close to Carolyn, holding her in her arms. "I want to ask you something." She held her breath for a moment while pushing back stray strands of hair from her lover's face. "You tried to hide the fact your headaches were getting worse, and I guess you meant to keep me from worrying. Like you protect Beth, for instance. I don't want to be protected, nor do I need to be. If I'd known you were feeling worse than usual, I might not have gotten the shock I did today."

"Annie…" Carolyn's voice was a mere whisper.

"I'm not trying to tell you what to do. I'm trying to tell you how I feel and what I need from you. You don't have to tell me every little detail, but don't try to shield me from what's important. If it concerns you, it concerns me. Let me take care of you when you need it, and I'll come to you when I need you to care for me—to put your arms around me and love me." She rose on one elbow, looking down at Carolyn. "This is important, darling."

Carolyn cupped Annelie's cheek gently and brushed her lower lip with her thumb. "Well said, Annie. I promise to do my best. It's my nature to be protective, but I can try and change the way I do it. I'll try not to shy away from asking for help, your help. You've been there for me so many times."

"And you for me." Feeling it was easier to breathe the air in the bedroom, Annelie settled onto the pillows, closing her eyes. "I love you."

Carolyn's fingers combed lovingly through Annelie's hair, smoothing it before traveling farther down her back. Annelie buried her face into her lover's neck, again inhaling her intoxicating citrus scent. Carolyn tugged at the covers, pulling them up and arranging them in a warm, cozy cocoon.

As sleep finally overtook her, Annelie saw jumbled images of Carolyn playing behind her eyelids. A panther, an eel, a pool, concrete stairs. She half jerked. Then she saw her lover stretched out on the deck of a boat, relaxing in the sun, with the ocean all around, and she smiled.

***

Entering the kitchen, Annelie encircled Carolyn from behind, sliding her hands up under the half-open silk robe to cup her breasts.

"Mmm," Carolyn murmured as Annelie's lips found naked skin where the robe slipped off her shoulder. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, eventually. I missed you when I woke up, though. I should've realized the thought of coffee had enticed you to the kitchen."

"I promised the doctor to cut down, especially late in the evening, but my morning cup…" Carolyn shuddered. "Can't do without it. I'd be impossible to live with." She tilted her head back onto Annelie's shoulder, turning to kiss her lover. "I don't want you to kick me out because of caffeine withdrawal."

Trapping Carolyn against the kitchen counter, Annelie claimed her lips again, deepening the kiss. "There's no way I'd let you go, darling," she whispered, only a breath away from Carolyn's mouth. "With or without caffeine."

"Good morning," a sleepy voice said from the doorway. "Oh, sorry, ladies…" Helen stood holding onto the door frame. "Didn't mean to interrupt."

"You didn't." Carolyn smiled, her arms still around Annelie. "As a matter of fact, you're just in time for coffee."

"Did someone say coffee?" a second voice asked. Jem walked up behind Helen, her short, dark hair standing up in all directions. Patting Helen on her shoulder, she gave her a sleepy smile. "How are you doing this morning?"

"I'm feeling much better. My scalp is sore, but no headache. I took some painkillers last night, and they knocked me right out. I had the weirdest dreams."

Jem shot Annelie a grin. Putting her arm around Helen's shoulder, she guided her toward the kitchen table. "Oh, really? Do tell."

"I can hardly remember, but everything was swaying, and I believe you guys were there."

"Well, that makes sense, because we were there. Annelie and I found you standing in the hallway." Jem shrugged. "We couldn't very well leave you there, so I helped you into bed and tucked you in."

Helen blushed, covering her eyes with a hand. "Oh, no. I have been known to sleepwalk, but it was a long time ago. I'm sorry."

"Whatever for?" Jem asked merrily. "You were downright beautiful, if a little spooky, dressed in white silk in the middle of the night. So, anyone want pancakes or waffles?"

Helen looked dazed at the quick change of subject.

"Waffles!" Annelie exclaimed, rubbing her chin against Carolyn's hair. "You're such a whiz in the kitchen, Jem. I think I'm going to hire you."

"You already did." Jem grinned. "So, bring out the waffle iron."

Restricted to the dining room, Carolyn sat down next to Helen as the aroma of Jem's cooking filtered from the kitchen. Handing her a mug of coffee, she sighed in contentment and leaned back in her chair. "This is my idea of a perfect Saturday morning."

"Feeling less stressed?" Helen sipped her hot drink.

"Yes, a lot. Annelie and I talked for hours while we were trying to relax last night, and something she said stuck in my mind." Carolyn tucked her disheveled hair behind her ears. "I possess a certain arrogance."

"She said that?" Helen raised an eyebrow.

"No, no. But she made me realize that I don't share my weaknesses. I have to be strong and able, all the time. Or at least I think I do. Annelie wants me to share everything, warts and all."

Helen nodded thoughtfully, turning her head to look at the two women busily making breakfast. "First of all, I think you struck gold, Carolyn, and I don't mean in the monetary sense. She adores you just the way you are. You'd be a fool to let her go."

"Don't worry. I don't have any intention of letting her slip through my fingers. She's stuck with me. You said first of all—what else?"

"I don't see you as arrogant at all. You may interpret your actions and motivations like that, but I see it as being considerate of others. I don't want to sound presumptuous, but I think you're too hard on yourself sometimes."

Carolyn saw the warmth in Helen's eyes and smiled. "Could be."

Jem approached them with hot plates and utensils. "Won't be long now. What are your plans for the weekend, ladies?"

"You know we had plans for a little get-together, but since I'm under orders to rest, I'll just relax, study the script, and swim every day, of course." Carolyn helped her set the table. "What about you, Helen?"

"I'm going to my temporary home later and kick back, watch TV, and like you, reread the script. It's a nice day outside, so I think I'll walk home. It's only six blocks or so."

Jem exchanged glances with Annelie. "Helen, if you like, I can walk you part of the way, since I'm going grocery shopping for tonight. Marco's is on the way, I believe."

"That's very nice of you, Jem." Helen looked pleasantly surprised. "I'd like some company."

"And remember, in New York six blocks is farther than you think," Annelie cautioned. "Take a cab part of the way if you don't feel well."

"Goodness, you're all like mother hens." Helen gave a mock groan. "I sleep funny once, and all of a sudden you're going all protective on me."

Carolyn patted Helen's hair, exaggerating a worried expression. "It's because we luv ya, babe," she drawled.

Helen broke out into a fit of laughter, taking the others with her. Once they calmed down, the waffles were ready and Jem filled their plates. "Enjoy."

Carolyn let maple syrup run over her waffles. "You sure you need to go home Tuesday, Jem?"

Helen looked up, swallowing her first bite with a dreamy expression on her face. "Oh, Jem, we sure will miss you."

Jem rolled her eyes at the comments. "You only want me for these carnal pleasures," she muttered good-naturedly. Despite the broad grin on Jem's face, Carolyn noticed a vulnerable expression in her eyes.

***

"I want to show you something." Annelie walked into the living room where Carolyn sat on the floor by the fireplace, leaning against an armchair.

"Yes? Come sit by me, then." Carolyn scooted to the side, making room for Annelie.

"I went through some of the letters my mother wrote my father, and when I looked into the package they came in, I found these." Annelie handed over some yellowing clippings.

Carolyn browsed through them with careful fingers. Annelie leaned her cheek against her lover's hair, watching.

"These clippings are of you as an adult." Carolyn turned one of them over. "Look, here's a date on the back of this one. March 12, 1994. Here's another one. April 28, 1999. Did they belong to your father?"

"I think so. This explains how Trevor White knew who I was. The thing is, they also raise a whole new set of questions. Why did White delay until now to try and get money from me? Why did my father keep clippings of me? If he took such an interest—I mean there are at least fifteen clippings—why didn't he try to contact me?" Annelie swallowed. "I'm getting upset again, and I promised myself I wouldn't." Tears ran down her cheeks.

Carolyn placed the clippings on the chair behind them and took Annelie in her arms. "Listen to me, love. You can cry on my shoulder any time you want. As for your father, I don't think we'll ever know his motives for saving these clippings. But I think it's safe to say this is how White made the connection. Perhaps your press coverage sparked his interest and made him think he could pull it off. It wasn't the smartest of plans."

Annelie had to laugh through her tears. "No, it wasn't. I believe they're holding him on several charges." Wiping her cheeks, she moved closer to Carolyn. "I'll just have to accept it—some parents simply don't want to be parents."

"I know. He didn't deserve you. He blew his chances with you a long time ago."

"Somehow I must have known a reconciliation was out of the question, ever since I was little and gave up hope he'd come back. I never tried to find him."

Carolyn didn't say anything but stroked Annelie's back in long, languid movements.

"I had my mother and, later, Margo. I told myself I didn't need a deadbeat dad." Annelie moved, placing her head in Carolyn's lap, pressing her face into the soft fabric of her T-shirt. Carolyn kept up the soothing motion of her hand. "The truth is, if he'd come back…I'd have listened and told him how much I'd missed him. I wouldn't have turned my back on him, even if it had been all about money."

"That's because you've got the biggest of hearts, love," Carolyn whispered. "You're that kind of person."

"He lived in misery. Why didn't he ask me for money when he discovered who I was?"

"Pride, regrets, some shred of honor…who knows, Annie. At least you know that the man who tried this scam wasn't your father. That's always something."

Annelie put her arm around Carolyn's waist, feeling safe and cared for. "Yes," she breathed. "It's something."

***

Carolyn looked up from her script as Helen walked through the door. "How was lunch?"

"Oh, God, you did the right thing, staying here with a sandwich." Helen sat down on the couch with a thud. "Monday. Lunchtime. New York." She made a face. "Ew. It got ugly at the cash register."

"Did you get anything to eat? Want a sandwich? They're actually not bad."

"No, thanks. I managed to get a salad. Next time the kids try to drag me away for lunch, remind me of this."

Laughing, Carolyn promised she would. "I've got a few issues with the big scene between Erica and Maddox that everyone's making such a fuss about."

Helen nodded, reaching into a bag by her feet for her script. "What's your problem?"

"Well, I've done my share of love scenes, and they're not my favorite part of the shooting. I don't like to have the crew there. I'm sure Regina will be sensitive enough to shoot these scenes with a skeleton crew. Still…"

Carolyn regarded Helen carefully, wanting to be sure she understood. "Normally, with a man, we have rehearsal, very schematic, and usually very cut and dried."

"I know," Helen said, "and I really want to get it right. I'm not worried about feeling awkward, since both of our characters are supposed to be reluctant and nervous."

"That's exactly it. When Erica confronts Maddox in her office in the middle of the night, they're both tired and frustrated. Erica's angry, feeling Maddox is running instead of dealing with the obvious attraction. Maddox is angry with herself for being afraid of her own feelings."

"So they kiss, and neither of them can say for certain who started it." Helen dragged a hand through her hair. "As I've already told you, I've kissed a woman once in my life, but it was a very chaste kiss. We didn't deepen it, and I was rather young."

Carolyn was grateful for her candor. "You know I'm with Annelie, but that's where my expertise on the subject ends."

"And? What's your verdict, kissing men versus women?" Helen made a funny face. "Any major difference?"

"Stubble."

Helen's jaw dropped. "What?"

"No stubble, beard, or mustache."

"And that's it? The only difference?"

Carolyn couldn't keep a straight face at the sight of Helen's perplexed look. Laughing, she had to pull a tissue out of her purse and wipe the corners of her eyes. "No, of course not. With Annie, it's softer, gentler, and, because it's her and I love her, it's more passionate and soul-claiming."

"Oh." Helen rubbed the back of her neck. "So is that what we aim for? To make the audience believe in softness, passion…and soul-claiming?"

"Yup, that's it. Think you can handle it, St. Cyr?"

Helen grinned. "I'll damn well try, Black."

"Speaking of Annelie, I believe she and Jem'll be here for a tour soon." Carolyn looked at her watch. "In a few hours, in fact. You must be looking forward to tonight."

"Yes, I am. Wasn't it great how Jem and I discovered our mutual passion for musicals? I've wanted to see Mama Mia for a long time. I was really impressed with how quickly Annelie managed to scare up two tickets on the Internet."

"Yes, I'm starting to think I'll have to buy one of those laptops and learn the basics." Carolyn laughed. "I know, I know, I'm still getting the hang of using the cell phone."

The door opened and a young man poked his head inside. "Regina wants you in the conference room, please. Five minutes."

"We're coming." Helen rose from the couch, taking her bag with her. "I need to do something important before rehearsal." She pulled out a toothbrush and gave Carolyn a smug grin. "I come prepared!"

***

Annelie watched Carolyn exchange some final words with Regina and then say goodbye. The studio was quiet.

Carolyn walked up to her, her eyes shining with excitement. "They looked at the dailies, and Regina is thrilled with what we did today. That's pretty rare with her. She's usually hard to please. Seems Helen and I nailed it."

"I'm happy for you, but not surprised."

"You're biased." Carolyn looked around the empty set and then kissed her gently on the cheek. "I'll just go change into my own clothes. I can remove the makeup later. The girls have all gone home." Checking her watch, she frowned. "It can't be that late."

"Your watch is on Maddox time. It's almost midnight."

"Late enough. I'm not very tired yet—I must still be on a high. You ready to get out of here?"

"Don't change yet. I want to see you in your office as Maddox. I haven't seen much of the shooting."

Carolyn cocked her head. "We've only shot a few scenes," she explained. "I think you want to see me as Maddox in the office because Helen and I shot the scene today." She winked, making Annelie blush. "See? I was right."

Annelie took her by the hand, pulling her toward Maddox's office at the far end of the studio. It was furnished with an old, scratched desk, a leather chair with a tall backrest, and several filing cabinets.

"That's some ambiance," Annelie said, looking around the set. "The prop guys have done a great job."

"Yes, it looks wonderful." Carolyn sat down on the corner of the desk. "I'm going to spend a lot of time here."

Annelie sat down next her and leaned back. "Erica Becker was sitting on Maddox's desk like this, wasn't she? I saw the promo pictures today."

"Oh. Well, she sat like that, but with her legs slightly parted, like this." Carolyn's eyes glittered when she stood up, gently nudging Annelie's legs apart. "And Maddox was standing very close, like this, pushing her away and pulling her close at the same time."

Annelie's breath caught in her throat at the sight of Carolyn, still looking like Diana Maddox. Dressed in a black pantsuit and white shirt, with the prop gun still bulging under her left arm, Carolyn looked every bit the famous character.

"You look so beautiful, like Maddox, but still yourself. Perhaps you are her…or vice versa?"

Carolyn backed off a little and something in her face altered. Eyes suddenly fiery, she said, "I don't know what you're talking about. You barge in here in the middle of the night, when I'm trying to get some work done. You know how backed up we are. What the hell's going on?" She glared at Annelie, half-playful, half-serious, coaxing her to tread the line between fantasy and reality.

Annelie leaned back on her arms, sitting on the desk the way she'd always imagined Erica would in this scene. "You know very well what's going on," she said, eyes narrowed. "For days you've acted like we're no more than casual acquaintances."

"We're working on a case involving a dead kid, Erica. There's no time for anything personal."

"Don't even go there. If you had your way, you'd skid around this issue, case or not. Why do you think I'm here now, in the middle of the night?" Annelie imagined Erica hurt, distraught, yearning for more than Diana was willing to give. Her tone conveyed her emotions. "Because you're here... alone. And there's nowhere to run."

"You want to talk, so talk." Carolyn stood, arrogant and outrageously desirable, her thighs almost between Annelie's legs. "What the hell's going on? Can you explain that to me? We've worked together for more than two years. We've been to hell and back, witnessed the things monsters do to innocent people, and we've supported each other through all of it. I thought we were friends!"

Annelie raised her hands and took Carolyn by the shoulders, barely able to resist shaking her. "We are friends! We're friends and so much more." She pulled her closer, lips trembling. "I'd give my life for you, Diana."

Carolyn tried to pry Annelie's hands off her shoulders but ended up stroking the soft skin instead. Her hands slid up Annelie's arms to the softness of her neck.

"Oh, God, Erica. If you let me touch you…"

"What are you afraid of? This?" Annelie lowered her hands to Carolyn's waist and drew her so close she could feel the damp of their merging breaths.

***

Carolyn stopped resisting as soon as Annelie's tongue entered her half-open mouth and found hers. Moaning out loud, she kissed Annelie deeply in return, lowering her onto the desk. "All right," she whispered feverishly. "If this is what you want."

"It's all I've ever wanted," Annelie gasped. "You're all I want, Diana. Only you. I've waited so long…for this…"

Carolyn's weight descended on her, sliding between her legs. She pushed Annelie's skirt up and traced the naked skin above her stockings with hands that shook slightly. Devouring her with long kisses, she caressed her way up to the lace and satin of her panties. "So you want me to make you mine here and now?" She rubbed the damp fabric between Annelie's thighs. "No romance, no declaration of love, nothing?"

Annelie went rigid, turning her head away from the insistent words. But she was unable to prevent herself from undulating against the probing fingers. "You don't understand. It doesn't matter…"

Carolyn stopped moving, her hand slowing down. "What do you mean?"

Annelie faced her squarely. "It's impossible to make me yours."

"So it's just sex."

Annelie pushed herself up, sitting on the edge of the desk, Carolyn's hands still between her legs, waiting. "No. Never just sex." Tears ran down her face, and she threw her arms around Carolyn's neck, holding on tight. Her hips started moving against Carolyn's motionless fingers. "Don't you see? It's a done deal. You can't make me yours—I already belong to you."

Carolyn's eyes suddenly brimmed with tears, and she shuddered slightly as she gave in to Annelie, accepting what she offered. Kissing her deeply, she pushed the panties aside and entered her with two fingers, evoking a low moan.

Annelie arched and whimpered as Carolyn took her thoroughly on her desk. Clinging to her, she gasped as yet another finger entered, stretching her. "Diana, please…" She reached inside Carolyn's jacket, her fingers sliding over the gun harness as she unbuttoned the white shirt. Pushing the bra up, she eagerly sought the soft skin so long denied her.

Carolyn whimpered as fingertips found her nipples, the sweet torment increasing her efforts to bring Annelie pleasure. "Oh, yes."

She held Annelie close with one arm, her fingers on the other hand caressing the shivering woman. Feeling her own sex convulsing while Annelie tweaked her nipples, Carolyn didn't take her eyes off her lover for a second. "I love you, Annie…I love you so much."

"And I love you. Don't let go of me."

"I won't. Ever."

The leather couch in the office was useful when the two women needed a more comfortable way to catch their breath while adjusting their clothes.

"I can't believe we did that." Carolyn nuzzled Annelie's cheek. "You bring out the strangest behavior in me sometimes."

"Strange as in good, or strange as in bad?"

"I'd say this was pretty good. Any better and I'd be unconscious."

Annelie smiled and raised her eyebrows. "You play well, darling."

"And you make an excellent Erica, completely irresistible." Carolyn winked at Annelie. "I always knew playing Maddox would be rewarding. I just didn't know how right I was."

Annelie leaned down for a kiss. "How clever of you. Why don't we go home before the guards begin their rounds, and I'll show you just how many rewards you deserve?"

Returning the kiss with fervor, Carolyn hugged the woman she loved close. "You gorgeous woman, you. You're full of excellent ideas this evening. Yes, let's go home."

Epilogue

Carolyn stood motionless by the balcony railing, her hair the only thing moving in the wind.

Annelie stopped on the threshold, enjoying the view for a moment before walking up to her. "A penny for them?"

Impressed with how Carolyn didn't even flinch, Annelie encircled her lover's waist.

"Just listening to the city. So many lives, crammed into one tiny island."

"Why this philosophical mood?"

Turning, Carolyn cupped Annelie's cheek. "I came out here to get some air after a long day at the studio, and it hit me." She gestured toward the busy city below them. "Can these people possibly be as happy as I am right now?"

A warm glow started in the pit of Annelie's stomach, spreading toward her heart. "Some of them, surely."

"I don't know. I'm here with you. I love you more than anything or anyone. I've never felt like this in my life. Playing Maddox is the role of a lifetime, which will make me financially secure for the rest of my days. I called Beth earlier, and she's doing fine. She'll be home tomorrow. We're blessed with such good, loyal friends…" Tears rose in Carolyn's eyes. "The only cloud is…what if I lost you?"

Annelie took her by the hand. "You won't. Unless I fall under a bus, which I have no plans to do, you're stuck with me." She guided Carolyn into the living room, where a fire crackled in the fireplace. Looking expectantly at Carolyn, Annelie held her breath.

"Oh, my, when did you do this?"

On the floor in front of the fireplace, on a red wool blanket, lay an assortment of cheese and crackers, a bottle of chardonnay, and several large pillows. An Eva Cassidy CD played in the background, her clear voice filling the room.

"While you were deep in your reverie on the balcony. But I admit I planned it in advance. I thought we'd have a romantic evening together, now that we're alone again."

"You're a genius." Carolyn expressed her appreciation with a firm hug, which soon turned into a heated kiss. "Why don't we sit down, and you can pour me some of that wine."

They lounged in front of the fire, arranging the pillows so they could rest comfortably. After filling the rounded crystal glasses, Annelie raised hers. "To us."

"To us."

Sipping her wine, Annelie looked at the contented expression on Carolyn's face. She'd never seen her look this relaxed. Carolyn had changed her routine and now swam for half an hour every morning before heading to the studio. It seemed to lessen the unavoidable stress and pressure of playing Maddox.

"Carolyn, have I told you today how beautiful you are, inside and out?" Annelie smiled at her surprised look.

"Well, no, not today."

"Then let me tell you. I have a secret. When I wake up in the morning, I spend a few minutes just looking at your face and any part of you that's visible, absorbing how beautiful you are. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to realize this is true—you're here with me."

Carolyn's face softened, and she dropped her actor's mask completely as she put her glass on the floor. "You do?"

"Yes. If you're afraid of somehow losing me, then I'm just as afraid, if not more, of finding you gone one day. I know, it's an irrational fear—but it's there. I've gone from worshipping you for the work you do to loving you for the woman you are. You know I was nervous about us in the beginning. I was afraid you'd realize you weren't ready to be with a woman, with me, after all. I don't think like that any more, but in my darkest hours, the fear can reemerge."

Carolyn took a chocolate-covered strawberry and offered one to Annelie. "You're all I could ever want. If you watch me in the morning, I watch you during the day when you're not paying attention. I look at how you move, how your ponytail snuggles against your neck, and how you hold on to your left wrist with your right hand behind your back when you're nervous. I love how you eat with a knife and fork the

European way, and it excites me how your breasts move underneath your shirt when you're not wearing a bra. Most of all…" Carolyn leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Annelie's lips. "I love how I'm allowed to touch you, hug you, and make love to you."

"You do?" Annelie whispered. "I had no idea. I find you so extraordinary, so fascinating, and so divinely beautiful."

"No, you are." Carolyn smiled and sipped her wine. "You're exquisite. There's no better word to describe you."

Annelie felt a blush creep up her neck and color her cheeks. "I've been meaning to ask you something."

Carolyn waited, but when the words caught in Annelie's throat she leaned forward and kissed her. "Yes?"

"We decided you'd stay here with me during the filming, and I'd like to know how you think it's working out." It wasn't at all what she meant to say, but she couldn't think straight.

"I've loved every second of it. And you?" Carolyn gazed at her over the rim of her wineglass.

"I don't want to think about how it would feel when…" Annelie's voice faded and she cleared her throat. "I don't want to think about waking up and you not being here, darling. Do you think you could…I mean, can you see yourself…" Furious with herself for sounding completely lost, Annelie jumped when Carolyn took the glass from her fiddling fingers and placed it on the floor with her own.

"Are you asking me to stay on after the filming? To move in permanently?"

"You don't have to answer right away. Just think about it and—"

"Yes."

"What?"

"Annelie, I don't want to be away from you. I don't want to go back to my lonely apartment when you and I can be together, sharing our days, waking up and falling asleep in each other's arms. I never want to leave."

Suddenly Annelie lunged forward, threw her arms around Carolyn's neck, and buried her face in Carolyn's hair. As she inhaled the familiar scent of musk and sandalwood, she closed her eyes and felt her heart rate slow down.

"Do you know how amazing you are?" Carolyn murmured, her hands moving in soothing circles over Annelie's back. "You can drive me crazy with one look, one touch, and at the same time you evoke all these protective feelings in me. I love holding you, just like this, and yet I adore it when you take control and let me surrender to you." She softly kissed Annelie's cheek. "I love you."

Tipping her head back, Annelie looked up into Carolyn's eyes, surprised to see the usual streaks of gray drowned out by the clear blue. "Kiss me."

Lowering her head, Carolyn obliged, deepening the kiss as they clung to each other.

"I love you too," Annelie whispered. "I adore you."

As they shed their clothes into a growing pile, the fire warmed their naked flesh. Looking at Carolyn's body, watching the flames cast flickering shadows on her lover's pale skin, Annelie knew she would never grow tired of this sight.

"Mine to touch," she whispered, never averting her eyes.

"Yours to do with as you please."

"Then let me love you."

"Always."

The End

About the Author

Gun Brooke combines her lifelong love for science fiction and romance novels by writing both genres—always with romance at center stage. She resides in the Swedish countryside with her very patient family in a village displaying remnants from the Stone Age and Viking era.

Having first written fan fiction, Gun caught Bold Strokes Books' attention when she entered an online writer's challenge, and the international second edition of Course of Action is the happy result. Creating character-driven stories about relationships, whether set in the future or contemporary times, now keeps this Swede occupied fulltime.

Putting her fascination with the latest technology to good use, she keeps in touch with friends around the world through the Internet and maintains her own Web site, http://www.gbrooke-fiction.com. She has also been known to create Web sites for other people on occasion.

When not working on her next book, Gun loves movies, reading, cooking/eating/talking, and creating computer graphics. She also enjoys traveling and meeting new people, whom she stores in her evergrowing gallery of characters for future stories.

Look for her next release from Bold Strokes Books, Supreme Constellations: The Protector of the Realm, in December 2005.

Other Books Available From Bold Strokes Books

Course of Action by Gun Brooke. Actress Carolyn Black desperately wants the starring role in an upcoming film produced by Annelie Peterson, a wealthy publisher with a mysterious past. How far is Carolyn prepared to go for the dream part of a lifetime? And just how far will Annelie bend her principles in the name of desire? (1-933110-22-8)

Justice Served by Radclyffe. The hunt for an informant in the ranks draws Lieutenant Rebecca Frye, her lover Dr. Catherine Rawlings, and Officer Dellon Mitchell into a deadly game of hide-and-seek with an underworld kingpin who traffics in human souls. (1-933110-15-5)

Rangers at Roadsend by Jane Fletcher. After nine years in the Rangers, dealing with thugs and wild predators, Sergeant Chip Coppelli has learned to spot trouble coming, and that is exactly what she sees in her new recruit, Katryn Nagata. But even so, Chip was not expecting murder. The Celaeno series. (1-933110-28-7)

Distant Shores, Silent Thunder by Radclyffe. Ex-lovers, would-be lovers, and old rivals find their paths unwillingly entwined when Drs. KT O'Bannon and Tory King—and the women who love them—are forced to examine the boundaries of love, friendship, and the ties that transcend time. (1-933110-08-2)

Hunter's Pursuit by Kim Baldwin. A raging blizzard, a remote mountain hideaway, and more than one killer for hire set a scene for disaster—or desire—when reluctant assassin Katarzyna Demetrious rescues a stranger and unwittingly exposes her heart. (1-933110-09-0)

The Walls of Westernfort by Jane Fletcher. All Temple Guard Natasha Ionadis wants is to serve the Goddess, and she volunteers eagerly for a dangerous mission to infiltrate a band of rebels. But once she is away from the temple, the issues are no longer so simple, especially in light of her attraction to one of the rebels. Is it too late to work out what she really wants from life? (1-933110-24-4)

Change Of Pace: Erotic Interludes by Radclyffe. Twenty-five hotwired encounters guaranteed to spark more than just your imagination. Erotica as you've always dreamed of it. (1-933110-07-4)

Fated Love by Radclyffe. Amidst the chaos and drama of a busy emergency room, two women must contend not only with the fragile nature of life, but also with the mysteries of the heart and the irresistible forces of fate. (1-933110-05-8)

Justice in the Shadows by Radclyffe. In a shadow world of secrets, lies, and hidden agendas, Detective Sergeant Rebecca Frye and her lover, Dr. Catherine Rawlings, join forces once again in the elusive search for justice. (1-933110-03-1)

shadowland by Radclyffe. In a world on the far edge of desire, two women are drawn together by power, passion, and dark pleasures. An erotic romance. (1-933110-11-2)

Love's Masquerade by Radclyffe. Plunged into the often indistinguishable realms of fiction, fantasy, and hidden desires, Auden Frost discovers a shifting landscape that will force her to question everything she has believed to be true about her self and the nature of love. (1-933110-14-7)

Beyond the Breakwater by Radclyffe. One Provincetown summer three women learn the true meaning of love, friend ship, and family. Second in the Provincetown Tales. (1-933110-06-6)

Tomorrow's Promise by Radclyffe. One timeless sum mer, two very different women discover the power of passion to heal and the promise of hope that only love can bestow. (1-933110-12-0)

Love's Tender Warriors by Radclyffe. Two women who have accepted loneliness as a way of life learn that love is worth fighting for and a battle they cannot afford to lose. ( 1-933110-02-3)

Love's Melody Lost by Radclyffe. A secretive art ist with a haunted past and a young woman escaping a life that proved to be a lie find their destinies entwined. (1-933110-00-7)

Safe Harbor by Radclyffe. A mysterious newcomer, a reclusive doctor, and a troubled gay teenager learn about love, friendship, and trust during one tumultuous summer in Provincetown. First in the Provincetown Tales. (1-933110-13-9)

Above All, Honor by Radclyffe. The first in the Honor series introduces single-minded Secret Service Agent Cameron Roberts and the woman she is sworn to protect—Blair Powell, the daughter of the president of the United States. First in the Honor series. (1-933110-04-X)

Love & Honor by Radclyffe. The president's daughter and her security chief are faced with difficult choices as they battle a tangled web of Washington intrigue for...love and honor. Third in the Honor series. (1-933110-10-4)

Honor Guards by Radclyffe. In a journey that begins on the streets of Paris's Left Bank and culminates in a wild flight for their lives, the president's daughter and those who are sworn to protect her wage a desperate struggle for survival. Fourth in the Honor series. (1-933110-01-5)