Crazy Ever After

Chapter Fifteen

Samara braced herself for the conversation with her mother. She’d known this conversation was going to happen and had known how difficult it was going to be, but now that she knew there’d been no affair, it was going to be even harder to admit how stupid she’d been. She was looking forward to it about as much as she would to having her every hair on her body plucked out one by one.

Saturday seemed a good time, when neither of them were in a rush to go somewhere. They had all day to hide from each other if things got really ugly. She’d been about to tackle it last night and had sought out her mother in her bedroom, only to find her sobbing over Dad’s clothes. Yeah, not such a good time.

Even now, her stomach churned with the coffee she’d just had for breakfast, unable to face food.

When her mother came downstairs, Samara waited until she was seated in the breakfast room with her omelet, coffee and newspaper and wandered in.

“Oh, good morning, Samara.” Her mom’s smile actually hurt her. “What are you up to today?”

“I... um...need to do some shopping.”

Which wasn’t totally procrastinating on broaching the subject. It was true. She either needed to go home to San Francisco and pack some clothes or go on a major shopping trip if she was going to be staying in Portland for a while. There was no way she wanted to go all the way to San Francisco and back when she had so much work to do.

“Oh, let me take you shopping, Samara!” Her mother’s face brightened. “I’ll take you to that little shop I mentioned, and there are some sweet places right near there you’d like.”

“That’s okay,” Samara muttered. “I don’t want to spend all afternoon looking at clothes. I just want somewhere I can get in, buy a couple of suits, and get out.”

“Oh, please. It’ll be fun. I haven’t had my daughter around for so long to do that with. We used to have so much fun shopping together. Remember? I’ve missed that. And we could go out for lunch.”

The soft look in her mother’s eyes dented Samara’s resistance, and she let out a sigh. Yeah, she did remember the fun they’d used to have. “Fine. We’ll go shopping.” Over lunch would be a good time to talk.

In the first shop her mother dragged her into, she found enough items she liked—pretty little suits and blouses—that she could have been finished. Mom had been right about the shoes; they had gorgeous pumps and sandals. Seduced by silky fabrics and stiletto heels, Samara gave in to the experience and let her mother bring her outfit after outfit to try on.

“Oh, you look so beautiful in that,” she breathed, studying Samara in a silk dress. “You have to have that one.”

“I can’t afford all these, Mom.”

“I’ll buy it for you. I’ll buy everything for you.”

Samara’s insides tightened. It had been so long it was hard to get over the idea that she didn’t want anything from her mother, but guilt and remorse ate away at her resistance, and she found herself sighing yet again and agreeing. Strangely, the pleasure her mother seemed to get from it actually made her feel...good.

She left the store loaded down with garment bags and shoe boxes that they loaded into the trunk of her mother’s Lexus.

“We can drive to the next store,” Mom said, hopping into the driver’s seat. “It’s not far but too far to walk.”

“I don’t need to go anywhere else, Mom, I got enough stuff there.”

“But this other place has gorgeous designer jeans.”

“I have a pair of jeans.”

Mom slanted her a sideways glance as she accelerated up Market Street. “You can always use another nice pair of jeans.”

Samara couldn’t help the smile. “Fine. Are you going to buy anything for yourself?”

Her mother lifted a shoulder. “Probably not. There’s not really anything I need. This is your shopping trip.”

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?’

Mom smiled. “Yes. I am. Is there something wrong with that? I have a beautiful daughter, and I’ve missed spoiling you the last few years.” Her voice caught on her last words, and she swallowed and stared straight ahead out the window.

Spoiling you. Samara recalled Travis’s assertion that she was spoiled rotten. Maybe she had been. But that was a long time ago, and she’d been independent and on her own for a long time.

“You should buy yourself something nice too,” Samara choked out, that guilt chewing away at her insides. “A new pair of shoes or something.”

“Maybe.”

Two pairs of jeans, three trendy little tops and two pairs of shoes later, they walked into a lingerie store.

“Mom, I don’t need this kind of stuff!” Samara glanced around at the abundance of satin and lace displayed on hangers and counters.

“It’s underwear, Samara. If you only planned to stay for a few days, you must need underwear.”

“Well...” Samara blew out a breath. Okay, yeah, some panties and a couple of bras would be good. But lord, she didn’t need a freakin’ black velvet corset or silky nightgown.

But a silky nightgown was what she ended up with, thanks to her mother, along with a cute pair of plaid shorts and matching tank top that served as pajamas and a pile of silky thongs, lace boy shorts and matching bras in yellow, peach, and turquoise. As she held up each little garment, she couldn’t help but wonder what Travis would think. Her stomach swooped, imagining him removing the little turquoise thong panties and matching lace bra from her body...

“Samara?”

She blinked at her mother.

“What’s wrong?” Mom asked, her forehead creasing. “I just asked you twice if you’re ready to have lunch.”

Heat flooded her cheeks. “Oh. Um. Sorry. I was thinking about...work.”

Mom gave her an odd look. “Let’s have lunch now,” she said. “I know just the place.”

They walked to the restaurant, only two blocks away. The small place was nearly full, and a delicious aroma of dark roasted coffee and toasted bread greeting them as they walked in. Trust her mother to pick a place that served great coffee. Samara could tell just from the smell.

They were shown to one of the last tables, a small one for two in the middle of the restaurant.

Samara waited until they’d almost finished eating before bringing up the subject she needed to. She’d procrastinated long enough. It wasn’t going to get any easier.

“Mom.”

“Mmm?”

“There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“What is it, sweetie?”

Samara looked down at her half-eaten salad. “I— I screwed up really bad. And I have to apologize.”

Her mother’s forehead wrinkled. “What is it?”

Samara drew in a long slow breath. “When I left home seven years ago, I left because I was mad at you.”

Mom went very still. “We’re going to do this now?” She looked down at the table and gave a short nod. “Okay. Obviously you were mad. You didn’t even want to talk to me.” Her voice cracked. “I never knew what I did that made you so angry.”

Mom had tried calling, emailing, had even come with Dad once to visit her. Guilt struck another heavy blow at Samara. She couldn’t think of any soft way to say it, so she just blurted it out. “I thought you were having an affair with Travis.”

Her mom stared wide-eyed across the table at her. The noises of the restaurant—chattering voices, clinking cutlery, light music—filled the silence between them. Mom’s brows drew down. “Travis? An affair with Travis? Why on earth would you think that?”

“I overheard you two talking one day. It was just after...oh, god, this is so embarrassing.”

Mom said nothing, her mouth pressed into a firm line, but her expression told Samara to keep going.

“I had a big crush on Travis back then,” she confessed, nearly choking on the words. She studied her mom’s expression. Had she known that? “One night, I told him that. I kissed him. He...” He’d kissed her back. She’d never forget that. But... “He rejected me. Of course. Said I was too young for him.”

Still Mom said nothing, but her mouth softened.

“I was pretty devastated about that. I thought I was in love with him.”

“Oh, Samara.”

“Then a few days later, I overheard you and Travis talking about hurting Dad, and Travis was saying he was sorry...” She related the rest of what she’d heard.

Mom’s eyes closed, and she looked as if Samara had just picked up her fork and stabbed her with it. Her throat worked, and then she opened her eyes. “How could you think such a thing?”

“I was hurt. I was young. I was stupid. I don’t know.” She paused. “I guess I was just so hurt by his rejection that was the first thing I thought when I heard you talking, and I grabbed onto it and I...I felt like you’d stolen him away from me.”

Her mother’s eyes closed on a flash of pain that echoed in Samara’s chest.

“How could you think that?” Mom whispered. “That’s awful.”

“I know.” The words barely made it past her dry lips and painful throat. “But that was how I felt.”

“Why are you telling me this? Why now?”

“Travis told me it wasn’t true. And I knew I had to apologize for acting like such an idiot all these years. Oh, Mom.” Her voice fractured. “I’m so sorry.”

Her heart hurt so badly she could barely think straight. Her hands trembled as she waited for her mother to say something.

Her mother was silent for several agonizing moments before she spoke. “Seven years, Samara. You thought your heart was broken? Well, you broke mine. We were so close. I love you so much. Do you know how much it hurt me for you to turn away from me like that? And for me to have no idea why?”

“I—I think I know. It hurt me too, Mom. I missed you. But I just couldn’t forgive you for doing that to me. And to Dad.”

“Did you ever think I deserved to at least know what I’d done? If only you’d come to me… We could have cleared that all up seven years ago. Why didn’t you come to me?”

Samara fiddled with her cutlery. “Because it hurt.” Tears thickened her voice. “Yeah, I was angry that you cheated on Dad. But it hurt so much that Travis had just rejected me, and yet he was with you. I was...jealous.” It was so hard to admit that, even to herself, that the word came out barely audible. Jealous of her own mother.

“But he wasn’t with me, Samara.” Her mother’s voice softened. “That never happened.”

“I know that now.” Samara wiped a tear with her fingertips and reached for her water goblet, hoping to wash down the painful lump in her throat. She drank the cold water, her throat raw and aching. “But then I just hurt so bad. But you’re totally right. I only realized that lately, even before I found out the truth, that I didn’t handle it very well. It just seemed the longer it all went on, the more entrenched I got into the whole ‘poor me, poor Dad, how could they do that to us?’ thing.”

More sticky silence stretched between them.

“I was going to talk to you,” Samara continued. “Even before I found out the truth. I know I should have talked to you back then. I was stubborn and stupid.” She paused. “Do you think you can forgive me?”

Her mother blinked slowly. Thought about it. “I don’t know,” she finally said, and Samara’s heart sank. “I’m just so...hurt and angry that you would think that.” She looked off to the side and closed her eyes briefly. “And that you held that inside you all that time. For no reason.”

“I’m sorry.” Samara looked down at the table.

Mom sighed. “I love you, Samara. I also know you and how stubborn and independent you are. How you tend to jump to conclusions sometimes.”

“I’m working on that,” Samara mumbled.

“I think...I might need a while. I can’t believe that you would think I would do such a thing. I can’t believe you put me through that...” Mom lifted a hand to her face and rubbed her forehead. She swallowed hard. “Well. Just telling me about this whole mess is a huge step. I’m proud of you for that at least, Samara.”

She didn’t feel like she deserved her mother’s pride at that moment; she felt like a crumb on the floor the restaurant.

Mom swiped at a tear. “I just wish we hadn’t lost all those years.”

“I’m so sorry.” Samara reached across the table and took her mom’s hand. “I really, really am.” She held her mother’s gaze, and her mom nodded. “But Mom… What was that conversation about? I asked Travis, and he wouldn’t tell me. He says he doesn’t remember.”

Her mother avoided Samara’s eyes. “Oh, Sam. It was something else entirely.”

“Then what was it?”

Mom bit her lip. “It was a business thing. Travis thought Parker was…oh, this is such old water under the bridge. Travis, for some reason, thought Parker was doing something illegal. But he wasn’t.”

“Illegal? That’s crazy. Why didn’t Dad just tell him that?”

“He tried. But…uh…” Mom paused and struggled for a moment. “Parker was very hurt that Travis would think that about him. You know, this might be something…I’m not sure how much to say about this. Now that your father’s gone.”

“It all sounds very mysterious.”

“It’s not. It’s just…a big misunderstanding.”

Their lives seemed to be full of big misunderstandings. Samara sighed inwardly. “Big enough that Travis had to move to L.A.?”

“Well, I always wondered if there was more to that decision than even I knew about.” Mom’s eyebrows drew down. “I suppose that might be something to talk to Travis about.’

“Yeah, right. I tried that. He’s pretty tight-lipped about it. Which I guess is understandable, if it was all his fault.”

“I’m not saying it was all his fault,” Mom said carefully. “Parker can…could be very stubborn.” Her lips lifted slightly. “That might be where you get it from.”

Samara shook her head. “Whatever it was, that’s what I overheard, and I know I jumped to conclusions…”

Mom looked conflicted, as if she wanted to say more, but she reached for the bill their server had brought. She waved away Samara’s offer to pay, and they left the restaurant and went home.

After carrying all their purchases into the house, Samara surveyed the goods and said, “Mom, you’ve spent way too much money.”

“I can afford it,” Mom said. “You heard your father’s will.”

“I know, but...” Samara hesitated. “Mom...did you know Cedar Mill is in financial trouble?”

Her mom lifted her chin and her lips compressed briefly. “I did know there were problems, yes,” she said. “Your father was confident he could turn things around. And I had faith in him.”

“But he’s gone.” Samara opened a shoe box and stared at the sandals inside.

Mom drew in a long breath. “Yes. He’s gone. But I have faith in Travis too. That company is his life, and he won’t let anything happen to it.”

A knot of anxiety tightened in Samara’s stomach. She looked up. “What about me? Do you have faith in me? Because I want to help turn things around.”

She’d confessed her stupidity to her mother, apologized, let her mother buy her a truckload of shoes and clothes, and let her enjoy doing that. But her mom was pretty pissed about that whole mess. Would she support her on this?

“Of course, I do, Sam. Some day you’ll be a great leader for Cedar Mill Coffee.”

Samara swallowed, and her fingers curled tightly around the shoe box she held. “Not someday, Mom. Now. I want to do it now.”

Her mom sank down onto a chair. “Oh, Sam. I know you do.”

“I know I can do it. I want to pick up where Dad left off. I want to make sure the company is run the way he would have wanted.”

“Your father would be so proud of you.”

Samara smiled. “So if it came to a vote… you’d vote for me to run the company, wouldn’t you?”

After a short pause, Mom said, “No.”

Samara froze then blinked, the cardboard box digging into her fingers. “No?”

“No. I’m sorry.” Dayna’s voice was as soft and silky as the lingerie they’d just bought. “You’re smart, and you’re educated, and I know you love the business. If Travis weren’t here, that might be the logical move. But compared to him, you’re so young, and you still have so much to learn. He’s been involved in the business for years.”

Samara stared at her. Her eyes burned, and she wanted to scream. “He talked to you, didn’t he?” she demanded, voice shaky. “He convinced you of that.”

Dayna’s forehead creased. “No. he didn’t have to convince me of that. It’s―”

Samara slapped the lid on the box and shoved it back into the shopping bag. Insides churning, she stood. “Fine. That’s fine. I know you’re still mad at me.”

“Samara. Wait. Don’t do this again. Talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

She gathered up as many bags and boxes as she could carry and climbed the stairs to her bedroom. There she sank onto the side of the bed.

That old familiar burn of jealousy and sting of rejection heated her. Even though she believed both of them when they said nothing had happened, the fact that they were siding against her hurt like a bitch. Her heart tightened, and she pressed a hand between her breasts. She closed her eyes. For so long she’d kept her emotions closed off, focused on school and work and career. Now holes were being ripped in that tight restraint, and she was losing control. She was letting people in when she knew all that would happen was more hurt.

How could it be anything else?

She shouldn’t have had sex with him. She shouldn’t have let her emotions get involved again with him, dammit. She’d opened herself up to him and told him her deepest, most humiliating secret, and now he and her mother were still plotting against her.

When she finally got her emotions under control, she ignored the bags of clothes and shoes cluttering the floor and pulled out her father’s laptop. When Travis had found her with it yesterday, her heart had missed a beat, but he hadn’t recognized it as her father’s; in fact, he’d barely seemed to notice it.

Because all his attention had been focused on her.

She was so damn confused! One minute she was pissed off at him, the next she was all melty inside over him. How could she really know what was going on in his head? They’d both agreed that, even though they were sleeping together, nothing had changed in their little competition to see who would run the company. Her mother said he hadn’t convinced her to vote against Samara. So why did she feel like they were ganging up on her?

She blinked and refocused on her father’s computer. Her father was the only person who had never let her down. Except for now. Now, he was gone too.

Her eyes stung with tears of missing him, wishing things had been different. There had to be information in there that would help get them out of the financial mess they were in. She had to have faith that her father had a way to save the company. That had to be why he’d been in Matagalpa.

As she went deeper into files, she found documents—more than she’d seen on the other computer. As she read, her eyes grew wide, and her body tightened with rising excitement.

Parker had been meeting with Javier Alvarez because of a coffee bean he was growing in a small valley at the high end of his farm. A very special bean that produced an extraordinary cup of coffee—Paquita. The description of it made Samara’s mouth water—a sweet-toned aroma with a distinct honey character; a syrupy mouth feel, lush with cherry fruit; Cognac-chocolate notes; and a long, honeyed finish. It was apparently comparable to a coffee that had sold at auction earlier in the year for a wicked high price, coveted by the best coffee connoisseurs. That particular coffee had a very low yield, which also accounted for the high price.

Wow. If Dad had found something equivalent to that...or even better...wow. She read on.

Parker’s plan was to assist the farmer in expanding growth of this extraordinary coffee, in exchange for the exclusive right to purchase all the beans. They were also going to have to make changes to the co-op arrangement to be able to pay the price that kind of bean was worth. Based on the numbers projected in a spreadsheet she located, this special bean could potentially bring in millions of dollars to Cedar Mill coffee, although the numbers seemed a bit off. She nibbled her bottom lip as she studied them. Surely it would cost more than that for the equipment Alvarez would need to produce that kind of yield? That kind of profit? Even so...she recalculated in her mind, adjusting the figures. Yeah.

She’d studied the financials Travis had given her. That amount of money would make a big difference in the bottom line.

She sat there, hands in her lap, and stared at the computer screen. Holy Godfrey. That’s what her father had been doing. No wonder he’d been interested in the quality of the beans in that area. No wonder he was willing to pay more. No wonder he’d been so secretive. She could imagine that if other importers were to find out about the deal, there’d be savage, cut-throat competition for those beans. So, it was no wonder he’d kept quiet about it. Even to Travis.

Her mind raced with the new knowledge as she tried to sort everything out in her head and figure out what to do about this.

If her father had thought this could be the answer to their financial problems, then it had to be worthwhile for her to pursue it also.

She’d been considering a trip to Matagalpa before, but now it was certain. She was going to Matagalpa. No one else thought she could run the business—not Travis, not the other executives, not even her own mother. But she could do this. She could go there and pick up where Dad had left off and complete this deal.

A knock on her door jerked her head up. Her hands froze on the laptop. “Who is it?”

She clicked the computer shut and shoved it under her pillows just as the door opened and Travis walked in.

Oh. Her breath left her all at once. He was so big and gorgeous and sexy. Her heart tripped, and her tummy fluttered down low at the sight of him, at the memory of him doing her up against the wall right over there.

“Hey. How’d it go?”

She sighed and looked down at her bare feet. “Not so good.”

He walked over and sat beside her, the bed shifting beneath his weight. “She kicked you out?”

She looked up and saw the hint of a smile on his mouth. Her own lips curved in response. “No.”

“Ah.”

“She was pretty upset though. She...needs time.”

“I guess that’s fair enough.”

“Yes.” She wasn’t going to tell him about the conversation she’d had with her mother about the vote. Damn him. Let him stew about that, although he and her mother had probably already talked about that, even though Mom said they hadn’t.

“Looks like you did some shopping.” He lifted a brow as he took in all the shopping bags.

“Oh. Yeah. My mom insisted on taking me shopping. I only needed a few things, I have lots of clothes back in San Francisco. But she wanted to do it. Then we had lunch. And we talked.”

“That must have been hard.”

It was, dammit, and she hated even talking about it. Surprisingly he wasn’t all condescending and judgmental. Just...understanding. And...his hand was on her ankle, rubbing the sensitive skin on the inside of it. Tingles were traveling up her leg and coalescing right at the apex of her thighs.

She sank her teeth into her bottom lip. Too much. Dealing with Travis and her feelings for him and all the emotion and uncertainty had her mind reeling. The uncertainty of wanting him, having sex with him, then wondering what she really had with him...and then on top of that, the disappointment of her mother taking his side, and the shocking news she’d just discovered...too much. Disoriented, dizzy, she couldn’t think and didn’t know how to react to him.

But her body knew how to react to him.

And the truth was her heart was pretty helpless to resist him too.

After spending another night of muffled passion in Samara’s room, Sunday morning Travis murmured against her hair, “Come with me. To look at apartments.”

She rolled over in her bed to face him. “Seriously?”

“Sure. I have to find a place and quick. I’ve got a few lined up to look at this afternoon.”

“I have work to do.”

He leaned over and kissed her. “You don’t have to work all day.”

She gave him a look that held a hint of suspicion, and he sighed.

“Fine. Work all day.”

It was her turn to sigh. “I can take a few hours off. I just want to be ready for the meeting next week.”

“I know.” He didn’t think she could ever be ready, even though she was busting her cute little ass trying. She was just too inexperienced, not to mention young. She had a passion for coffee and the coffee business, and he had no doubt she had some leadership abilities that had helped her move up in the company, but that in no way prepared her to lead the entire organization. She thought she was going to tell the other executives, some old enough to be her father, what to do?

But he wasn’t going to say that again. They’d tried to keep their agreement that work stayed at the office. That conversation never went well with her. She was so damn stubborn.

And hot.

He moved over her and pressed her down into the mattress. Her arms came up around his shoulders as she kissed him back, and her thighs parted to cradle his body. He buried his hands in her hair and slid his tongue into her mouth. So many times they came together frantically, hot and desperate, but not now. Now, he kissed her with long, lush kisses, his hips moving against her body in slow pulses, sliding into a warm half-awake dream.

Her hands roamed over his body, fingers digging into his biceps then gliding up into his hair. He touched her, too, exploring her soft skin everywhere, her shoulders, her breasts. He captured her arms and pushed them up over her head, holding them there against the pillow as their bodies rocked gently together. Blood surged through his veins, and pleasure poured over his body. He dragged his tongue over her bottom lip, nipped at it, and made her gasp. He rubbed his whiskered face against her jaw, eyes closed, drawing her scent deep into his lungs as if he could inhale all of her and take her inside him.

He reached over and snagged a condom, then rolled to the side to put it on. When he moved back over her, he looked down at her face, at the sexy little smile on her lips and the slumberous droop of her eyelids, her arms still lifted above her head. He smiled slowly back at her.

So gorgeous. His gaze lowered to her breasts, and he shifted his body to rub his face there too then closed his lips over one puckered nipple. She arched up into his mouth, and he sucked then used his teeth on the very tip.

“Oh god.” She started to reach for him, but once again, he clasped her wrists and held her arms up as he suckled and played with her beautiful breasts until she was trembling and flushed.

He released her hands again and reached for her thighs, pushing them apart as he spread his own knees wide. He found his throbbing cock and pushed inside her in a long glide of ecstasy.

“Oh yeah,” she breathed. “Travis...”

“Mmm.” As he pushed in deeper, he got even harder, her silky warmth clasping him so tightly. He fell over her, his hands finding hers, fingers twining with hers, pinning them to the pillow on either side of her head as he moved slowly in and out. “So good.”

Her breath caught, her head moved in a tiny nod, and he pulled out then thrust back in, watching her. She licked already wet lips, and he lowered his head to nuzzle her hair, her ear, opening his mouth on the side of her neck to taste her.

Her legs came up around his waist, so erotic, so fucking hot he almost lost his mind, sliding deeper into that hot haze. With her taste on his tongue and her scent filling his head, her tight, hot pussy pulled him in as he rocked into her over and over, the sensation building, and the heat sliding down his spine right to his balls. She lifted her hips into him, meeting his strokes, deeper, harder, still not rushed even though his blood raced. She gripped his fingers and gave a soft cry, her body tightening beneath him and around him, gripping his cock in tiny pulses, and the heat in his balls suddenly spread everywhere as he came, too, pouring himself into her as waves of hot pleasure swept over him.

They lay curled up together for a long time, half asleep again, drifting on a cloud of post-coital languor and bone-deep sexual satisfaction.

When much later he opened the bedroom door and peeked out into the hall to make sure Dayna wasn’t around, he grimaced. This sneaking around had to stop.

Getting his own place was the answer, but then he couldn’t help but wonder how that would change things. Living in the same house as Samara brought them into close proximity every night, and even though he didn’t much like the “sneaking” part, it was convenient that her room was just down the hall from his. How would they explain to Dayna when Samara slept over at his place?

Or would she sleep over?

He slipped quietly into his own room and stripped off the clothes he’d just dressed in to step into the shower.

What if he moved out and suddenly the “hot sex” stopped?

His gut clenched. Christ, he wished they could just tell Dayna what was going on. Why couldn’t they? Dammit, he was going to broach that subject with Samara that afternoon.

But that didn’t go quite the way he planned.

“Are you kidding me?” she said later, in his car. They’d just left the first apartment building. “Tell my mother?”

He gripped the steering wheel of the rental car. Another thing he needed to take care of. He couldn’t drive this rental car forever, but how the hell would he get his own car from Los Angeles to Portland? He rubbed his forehead. “I don’t like keeping this from her,” he said.

“It’s my business,” Samara said, her little chin lifting. “I don’t tell my mother about every guy I have sex with.”

His insides leaped. “There’s a nice thought,” he muttered, his mind going to all the other guys she’d had sex with. Whoever they were. Shit.

“What?”

He looked at her and caught a glimpse of softness in her eyes before she turned her look into cool detachment.

“Nothing. Never mind. What’s the address of the next place?”

Of course all the landlords thought they were a couple looking at the apartments. They didn’t bother to say anything to correct that. After all, that didn’t really matter.

“Which one do you like best?” Samara asked as they headed home later.

“All of them.” He shrugged, unenthusiastic about any of the places. They were all fine. But he was going to have to fly back to L.A. and make arrangements to move his belongings, and this was not a good time for that. “I guess the one downtown is most practical. It’s closest to the office.”

“True.” She nodded. “And it had nice views.”

“Yeah.”

After a few moments of silence while he drove, she said, “What’s wrong, Travis?”

He slanted a look her way then back at the road. “Nothing. Why?”

“You’re acting weird. Like you don’t really want to move.”

One corner of his mouth kicked up. “It’s just a lot right now. But I know I need to do it.”

She nodded and bent her head, her hair falling over her face.

He sensed her unspoken questions. Hell, they were probably both thinking the same thing. They’d gotten into this...affair, and neither of them really knew what it was or where it was going. They were on opposite sides of the battle for job of leading Cedar Mill Coffee, but in bed, they were totally on the same side. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

Once again, guilt at letting down Parker rolled through him, along with guilt in general about being with Samara. After so many years of telling himself she was too young for him, it was still hard to accept that she was a grown woman. Once again, he asked himself if he should be the responsible one who put an end to this before things went too far.

He had a feeling things had already gone too far.

The following week, Samara took her seat at the long oak table in the boardroom. Parker’s seat at the head of the table sat empty, and even she didn’t have the guts to go and sit there. Yet.

She focused on breathing. Nerves fluttered in her stomach. This had become so important to her. She’d always known that one day she would sit in this boardroom as a member of the leadership team of Cedar Mill Coffee Company but hadn’t anticipated it would come this soon. She could do it.

Travis walked in and took a seat across the table from her. She met his eyes but didn’t smile. The fluttering inside her turned into a cyclone. Why did she have to go all warm and soft every time she looked at him? It totally distracted her from her purpose and made her self-conscious and edgy. She brushed her bangs out of her eyes.

Hank came in and took a seat, followed by Simon Fast, Vice President of Merchandising and Production, and Daniel McInnis, Vice President of Wholesale Logistics and Operations. Samara greeted them all with a smile. Then Paulette took a seat at the end of the table where a laptop had been set up to take minutes.

Travis took the lead. Damn him.

“We’re meeting today to discuss our management structure going forward,” he began. “With Parker gone we need to have at least a temporary plan in place se we can reassure our partners and stakeholders that the company is still being effectively managed.”

Everyone nodded and murmured their agreement.

“Samara is here because Parker left her his shares in the company,” Travis explained, looking from person to person as he spoke, including everyone. “She believes she can contribute to running the company.”

Travis put his fingertips together, hands resting on the table. “We didn’t have a formal succession plan in place,” he noted. “Unfortunately. Certainly we never expected anything to happen to Parker, but in hindsight, it should have been done in any case.” He paused. “We don’t have to make any long term decisions today, but I do think we need to have an interim plan in place. Already we’ve heard from one stakeholder who expressed concern about moving forward with Parker gone.”

“Who was that?” Hank asked with a frown.

“Duane Scanlon.” Travis paused. “Samara spoke to him last week.”

They all looked at her, and she tightened her quivering stomach and again related the conversation she’d had with Scanlon. “I’d like to say that, in my father’s absence, I think I could step in and smooth things over with some of the stakeholders who are concerned about where the business is going.”

She glanced at Travis, expecting to see his scowl, but his face was clear and neutral. The others, however, did look concerned.

“The only problem with that,” Travis said, “is that they’re concerned about more than just Parker being gone. Word is out that Cedar Mill is struggling financially.”

Now the faces around the table creased deeper with concern.

“I’ve heard rumblings about that,” Hank admitted. “I’m not sure how that word got out, but I guess it’s not surprising given the challenges we’ve been facing lately.”

“It doesn’t take long for talk to spread in the business community,” Simon said. “We definitely need to put a plan in place to deal with that. Once people get the idea that we’re in trouble, no one will want to do business with us.” He glanced around the table. “This is very bad news.”

Travis nodded, and Samara’s stomach knotted up even more. “I agree, which makes it even more imperative that we have solid leadership at a time like this. We also want to reassure our employees that their jobs are safe, that the company is strong.”

He’d been talking about layoffs last week. How could they reassure staff their jobs were safe when they clearly weren’t? She nibbled her bottom lip.

“There are a number of ways we can do this,” Travis continued, and Samara observed with reluctant admiration how everyone else listened to him and seemed to respect what he said. “One of us could step into Parker’s position and take over his duties. That leaves a hole and other duties to be assumed.”

“Travis, the rest of us can cover your work until we find someone to replace you.”

Samara turned to Hank in amazement. He was just giving him the job? Just like that? Without even discussing options?

“Just a moment,” she interjected, trying to keep her voice steady. “You seem to be assuming that Travis will step in as CEO.”

All eyes turned to her, including Travis’s, which were not shining with triumph as she would have expected, but rather were shadowed and solemn.

“Who else would it be?” Hank asked.

Samara licked her lips. “Me.”

Eyes widened. Jaws dropped. She swallowed.

Silence thickened in the room for a stretched-out moment. Then everyone looked at Travis.

Heat flooded into her cheeks at their reaction to her proposal. Nobody was jumping up and saying, “Hell yeah, Samara, you should take over.” Nobody. She pressed her lips together but kept her chin lifted.

“Actually, I do believe Samara can have a place here,” Travis said.

Now her jaw slackened. She stared at him.

“Perhaps not as CEO. But I think we could restructure some of the duties we all have, to take advantage of her presence.”

Silence still hung heavy in the room, the only noise the tap of Paulette’s fingers on the computer keys.

“Here’s an idea I had, but I’m open to hearing other suggestions,” Travis continued. As if it was up to him. Samara was irritated by the way he led the group but also reluctantly admiring. “Daniel, you’d be capable of taking over the bulk of my duties in L.A.” He turned to look at the man next to him. “I assume you’re willing to relocate to L.A., at least temporarily.”

Daniel nodded, a smile tipping his mouth up. A promotion for him, so, yeah, sure he’d be happy to move.

“There are a few things I’d like to continue to oversee,” Travis said. “You and I can discuss that in more detail if this is what we end up doing. I also propose that Samara could assist with some of the oversight of the retail division. She’s been working in that division for a number of years and has a good background there.”

Was he saying she had to move to L.A.?

“I agree that I should take over most of Parker’s duties,” Travis said. “But I think there are some things there Samara could also help with. A big part of Parker’s role was overseeing new business development from both the roaster and grower sides. I think some of the business development with our partners is something she could handle. We could take advantage of the family relationship to market the company since Parker was such a popular businessman. Also, she has the same passion for the coffee business as Parker did, and I think she’d do an excellent job of representing Cedar Mill when it comes to developing new partnerships. Simon, I’d ask you to work with her on some of those things.”

She stared at him. He wasn’t going to let her step in to the CEO role. He was taking that for himself. And yet, he wasn’t shutting her out. His praise and confidence in her abilities astounded her. She could only blink at him, hoping her expression was suitably professional.

“Who’s going to do the traveling?” Hank asked. “As you noted, Parker develops...er...developed...” He swallowed. “Developed new business on the roaster side as well as grower. We can work on business partnerships here at home, but he developed the grower relationships and coordinated supplier relationships from all the regional offices in Central and South America.”

Travis nodded. “I’m willing to take that on for the short term. Even long term, if need be.”

“I’m actually interested in that,” Simon said. “I traveled with Parker a number of times. I’ve learned at lot about growing, and I’d be willing to learn more. If we’re thinking long term.”

Travis nodded thoughtfully and rubbed his chin with his fingers. “That’s interesting,” he said. “Thanks, Simon. We’ll keep that in mind. At some point, we’ll need to formalize things. Whether we keep the new structure in place or figure out a better way as we go, I’m open to new ideas.” He looked at everyone. “You all know me, and you know how I work. Parker and I made decisions collaboratively, and that’s my preference. I won’t hesitate to make tough decisions, but I always want to ensure you’re all included.”

Samara could just feel the love in the room for Travis. She wanted to stand up and protest that he’d completely taken over, that he’d given himself the job she wanted, but she knew the others would support him. And she couldn’t help but be touched—and shocked—by the fact that he’d included her. He hadn’t shut her out entirely, which was what she’d been prepared for coming into the meeting.

She slowly let out a long breath, trying to relax tight muscles, and loosened her grip on the arms of the chair.

“So let’s talk details,” Travis said, leaning forward. Everyone nodded. And Samara pushed aside her personal feelings, eager to listen and learn and hopefully contribute.

Her chance to contribute came nearly an hour later when they started talking about cost cutting.

“I see an opportunity reduce supply chain costs,” she said. All eyes turned to her. She swallowed. “The traceability system we’re using is all wrong for us. We don’t need a system that’s so broad in what it tracks, but we do need depth and precision.” She paused to draw a breath, sensing that she’d caught their attention. “Traceability is an indispensable part of any market for process credence attributes that are difficult to measure. When so much of our reputation is built on the fact that we sell fair trade coffees, it’s critical that we have a way to prove that.”

Travis leaned back in his chair and regarded her with that steady, intent gaze of his. “What are you suggesting?” he asked, a faint smiling tilting his lips. Was he laughing at her? She straightened her shoulders.

“I think I can design a new system for us that will better meet our needs. These days, traceability is becoming an important area of competition. A firm’s traceability system is key to finding the most efficient ways to produce, assemble, warehouse, and distribute products.” She paused and looked around the table. “The ability to reduce supply chain costs is often the difference between firms that succeed and those that fail. The benefits of traceability translate into larger net revenues for the firm. It could make a big difference for us.”

A broad grin broke out across Daniel’s face. “Beautiful,” he said. “I’ve been saying that for years. Do you really think you can do that?”

She tried not to let her own smile get too big; she tried to be composed and confident. “I’d need some help from our IT department. But yes.”

She looked at Travis. He titled his head to one side, looking at her as if he’d never seen her before. Her insides quivered, but she lifted her chin and met his eyes. And his smile.

When the meeting ended, she retreated to her office, closed the door and lowered herself into the chair behind the desk. She stared blankly out the office windows at the downtown Portland skyline.

Well.

The happiness and satisfaction she’d felt at getting their attention with the traceability system improvements diminished as it struck her that Travis had gotten exactly what he’d wanted. And she hadn’t.

She swallowed and leaned her head back. As she’d expected, he’d aggressively taken control, and everyone else had just gone along with what he’d said.

The soft knock at the door had her head jerking up.

Was it Travis? Her stomach tightened. “Come in.”

It was. He stepped into the office and closed the door. “Hey,” he said.

She straightened and set her clasped hands on the desk. “What can I do for you?” she asked coolly.

He lifted one eyebrow as he crossed the carpet toward her. “You did great in there,” he said.

Heat swelled inside her, and her fingers tightened around each other. “Well, thank you very much,” she said, unable to keep the sarcastic tone out of her voice. “I guess you’re happy now that you got what you wanted.”

His smile faded. “I wouldn’t exactly describe my mood as happy.”

She flipped her hair back over her shoulder. “Whatever. You got what you wanted.”

“I should have known you’d be pissed off.” He shoved his hands into his pants pockets, his shoulders hunched up.

Her stomach tightened, and her hands tightened their grip on each other.

“I included you in decision making,” he continued, his voice a dark rasp. “I acknowledged that you have a role to play in the company. I acknowledged that you have contributions to make. Just because you didn’t get the CEO title, you’re acting like a spoiled brat again.”

Her mouth dropped open. “Spoiled brat!” She almost wanted to spit as she searched for words. “Spoiled brat! Aaargh!”

His eyes narrowed. “Come on, Samara. I did what I had to do.”

Impotent fury welled up inside her, and she fought for control rather than picking up a paperweight and flinging it at his head. “Of course you did,” she said through clenched teeth. “And of course you’re treating me like a child again.”

“I’m not...”

“Just go away,” she snapped, swiveling her chair to face the computer. “I have work to do.”

“Samara...”

She shook her head, jaw clenched, and focused on the screen.

He sighed. “Fine,” he muttered. “We’ll talk later.”

Yeah, right.

When the door closed behind him, she sagged in the chair. She rested her elbows on the desk and held her head. Her eyes burned.

She never should have slept with him. She’d known it was a mistake, and she’d had the crazy faint hope the last few days that maybe something was developing between them that was more than hot sex, like she’d told him. Her own feelings for him were deep and powerful, but she’d tried to not to show that to him, not so soon, and thank Godfrey she hadn’t.

Sure they’d said they’d keep things separate. She’d told him she still intended to try to get the other executives to see that she should be the one to step into her father’s shoes. He hadn’t denied that he was still feeling the same way. So why did it hurt so much that he’d taken control in that meeting and so easily taken that away from her?

Had she been foolishly thinking that because they were sleeping together he’d step aside and let her lead the company?

Surely she wasn’t that stupid.

She lifted her head and shoved her hair back, blinking her stinging eyes. No, she wasn’t stupid, but she was in love, and she’d let herself get all soft and hopeful and...stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

She sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly, willing her heart to slow its frantic beat, trying to relax her tense muscles. Her bottom lip quivered, and she sank her teeth into it.

Okay. It had been an epic fail to get involved with Travis. She should have known no good could come of it when they were locked in a battle for control of the company. Her heart fluttered a little, though, remembering being with him, remembering how much she’d wanted him, how much she cared about him.

Stop. She had to stop those thoughts. She’d made a mistake, but now she’d had a little slap in the face, and she was back to reality. Travis was still ambitious and determined to take over. He’d thrown her a bone by letting her be involved. Fine. She would show him. She’d show them all she knew what she was doing. She’d build that frickin’ traceability system. She’d save them all kinds of frickin’ money. And she’d go to frickin’ Matagalpa and find out what her father had been doing there. She’d finish it and make the company more money that way.

This battle wasn’t over yet.