I WAS LYING ON my back looking into a lamp. The faces of a nurse and doctor stared down at me while they stitched up my chin. The doctor sutured it from the inside, going through my mouth, then from the outside. He then worked on the punctures in my cheeks.
You’re doin’ great, said the doctor. When I’m done, is there anything you want to eat or drink?
I hadn’t eaten in more than twelve hours. My stomach grumbled.
Yeah. A chocolate milkshake, I said.
I sort of held my breath after I said it, half expecting my dad’s voice to boom out, No way, Ollestad. How about a turkey sandwich on wheat?
No one objected. And the doctor called out to someone to fix up a chocolate milkshake right away.
When he was finished stitching my face I sat up and the nurse handed me the milkshake. I slurped it right down. I couldn’t understand why there was a sheriff standing at the door the whole time. I wasn’t a criminal. Then they put ointment on my raw knuckles and wrapped gauze around them.
The doctor took me to another room and the sheriff followed us. On the way I saw all the news people with cameras and microphones jostling at the end of the corridor. What’s the big deal? I told myself. I just couldn’t admit what had really happened. It would crush me and I could never let anything ever crush me. Those news people were forcing me to acknowledge the whole ordeal, so I turned away.
The doctor X-rayed my right hand and the nurse stayed with me when he left to check the results.
You have a broken hand, he said when he got back.
I looked at my hand. The top bulged into a red mound. Trying to flex it was impossible and the pain immobilized my whole arm. I heard the sheriff’s radio chirp—something about the rescue team needing ropes to get up the mountain. I thought of the chute—so steep it nearly pitched me backward as I hugged the ice. It seemed impossible to make it down that mountain with my hand like this. The doctor bent his ear toward the sheriff’s radio while stealing a glance at my broken hand. Ever so slightly he recoiled and he looked spooked for a second. Then he smiled.
Time to put a cast on that hand, Norman, he said.
After the cast was on the nurse re-dressed my seared fingers with ointment and gauze, then wrapped an Ace bandage around the cast—it looked like a fatheaded club.
I was lost in thought—Sandra’s wide-open eyes staring up at me, tiny chunks of sapphire, not brown like they were supposed to be. No matter how hard I pressed the blue out and pushed the brown in, the iris remained sapphire. A voice was directing somebody into my room. I slid off the bed. The door opened and my mom rushed up to me and her purse banged the linoleum floor as she kneeled and hugged me, her tears dripping onto my cheek. Her voice sputtered. They told me the search had been called off, she said.
My mom raked her fingers through my hair. Her eyes searched as if to make sure I was really there.
Then an hour later they called again and said, A boy alleging to be from a plane crash showed up in Baldy Village.
My mom clenched me tighter.
Nick came forward. He patted my back and told me he thanked God I was alive. I remembered the deal I had made—that if I made it down I’d believe in God—but it didn’t seem like God had anything to do with my making it down. Instead I thanked my dad.
Did they get Dad yet? I said.
Nick glanced at my mom.
No, honey, she said. They found Sandra though.
Is she dead?
Yes.
I thought so, I said.
They said you covered her with twigs, said Nick.
Yeah. To keep her warm.
If you thought she was dead why did you cover her up? said Nick.
I furrowed my brow. Does he think I’m lying again?
What if she wasn’t dead, I said.
Nick blinked as if having been slapped across the cheek. Uh-huh, he said.
There was a window in the room and I noticed it was dark. That was the last time I asked about my dad. No tears. I felt buffered, having replaced my eleven-year-old-boy skin with something thicker.