Crime and Punishment

I

The morning that followed his fatal talk with Dunechka and Pulcheria Alexandrovna had its sobering effect on Pyotr Petrovich as well. To his greatest displeasure, he was forced little by little to accept as a fact, accomplished and irreversible, that which even yesterday had seemed to him an almost fantastic event, which, though real, was still somehow impossible. The black serpent of stung vanity had sucked all night at his heart. Having gotten out of bed, Pyotr Petrovich at once looked in the mirror. He feared the bile might have risen in him during the night. So far, however, all was well in that regard, and, having considered his white and noble aspect, grown slightly fat of late, Pyotr Petrovich even took comfort for a moment, feeling quite sure of finding a bride for himself somewhere in another place, and perhaps even a cut above this one; but he came to his senses at once and spat aside vigorously, thereby evoking a silent but sarcastic smile in his young friend and cohabitant, Andrei Semyonovich Lebezyatnikov. Pyotr Petrovich noticed this smile, and inwardly set it down at once against his young friend's account. Of late he had managed to set a lot against his account. He grew doubly spiteful at the sudden realization that he ought not to have informed Andrei Semyonovich yesterday about yesterday's results. That was his second mistake yesterday, made in the heat of the moment, from overexpansiveness, in irritation...Then, throughout the morning, as if by design, nuisance followed nuisance. Some trouble even awaited him in the Senate, in connection with a case he was pleading there. But he was especially irritated with the owner of the apartment he had rented with a view to his impending marriage and decorated at his own expense: the owner, some German craftsman grown rich, would in no way agree to break the just concluded contract, and demanded the full forfeit mentioned in it, notwithstanding that Pyotr Petrovich would be turning the apartment back to him almost entirely done over. In the same way, the furniture store refused to return even a single rouble of the deposit for furniture bought but not yet delivered to the apartment. “I'm not going to get married just for the sake of the furniture!” Pyotr Petrovich snarled to himself, and at the same moment a desperate hope flashed in him once more: “But can it all be so irrevocably lost and finished? Can't I try one more time?” Again the thought of Dunechka needled his heart seductively. He endured this moment with pain, and certainly, had it been possible right then to kill Raskolnikov merely by wishing, Pyotr Petrovich would immediately have voiced this wish.

“Moreover, it was also a mistake not to give them any money at all,” he was thinking, as he sadly made his way back to Lebezyatnikov's closet. “Devil take it, why did I turn into such a Jew? There wasn't even any calculation in it! I thought I'd keep them on a short tether for a bit, and get them to see me as their Providence, and now look! ... Pah! ... No, if I'd handed them, say, fifteen hundred meanwhile, for the trousseau, and for presents, for all sorts of little boxes, toilet cases, trinkets, fabrics, and all that trash from Knop's, and from the English store,^[106] things would be better now...and firmer! They wouldn't have refused me so easily! They're of such mold that they'd be sure to regard it as their duty, in case of refusal, to return the gifts and the money; and to return them would be a bit difficult, and a pity! And conscience would prick them: how can you suddenly chase a man out like this, when all along he's been so generous and rather delicate?...Hm! I missed that one!” And snarling once more, Pyotr Petrovich told himself then and there—but only himself, naturally—that he was a fool.

Having come to this conclusion, he returned home twice as angry and irritated as when he had left. The preparations for the memorial meal in Katerina Ivanovna's room partly drew his curiosity. He had already heard something about this memorial meal yesterday; he even had some memory of having been invited himself; but, busy with his own troubles, he had passed over all these other things without notice. Hastening to inquire of Mrs. Lippewechsel, who in Katerina Ivanovna's absence (she was at the cemetery) was bustling about the table that was being laid, he learned that the memorial meal was to be a grand affair, that nearly all the tenants had been invited, among them even those unknown to the deceased, that even Andrei Semyonovich Lebezyatnikov had been invited, in spite of his past quarrel with Katerina Ivanovna, and finally that he himself, Pyotr Petrovich, not only was invited but was even expected with great impatience, since he was perhaps the most important guest among all the tenants. Amalia Ivanovna herself had been invited with great honors, in spite of all past unpleasantnesses, and was therefore now hustling and bustling about, almost taking a delight in it; moreover, she was quite dressed up, in mourning but all of it new, silk, frills and fancies, and she was proud of it. All these facts and details gave Pyotr Petrovich a certain idea, and he went to his room—that is, to Andrei Semyonovich Lebezyatnikov's room—somewhat thoughtful. The thing was that, as he had learned, Raskolnikov was also among the invited guests.

Andrei Semyonovich, for some reason, had stayed at home that whole morning. Between this gentleman and Pyotr Petrovich a certain strange, though somewhat natural, relationship had come about: Pyotr Petrovich despised and hated him, even beyond measure, and had done so almost from the very day he came to stay with him; yet at the same time he was as if a bit wary of him. He was staying with him during his visit to Petersburg not just from miserly economy alone; though this was almost the main reason, there was also another reason here. While still in the provinces, he had heard of Andrei Semyonovich, his former ward, as one of the foremost young progressivists, who was even playing an important role in certain curious and fabled circles. Pyotr Petrovich was struck by this. These powerful, all-knowing, all-despising, and all-exposing circles had long frightened Pyotr Petrovich, with some peculiar, though perfectly undefined, fear. Of course, on his own, and living in the provinces besides, he was unable to form, even approximately, an exact notion of anything of that sort. He had heard, as everyone had, that there existed, especially in Petersburg, certain progressivists, nihilists, exposers, and so on and so forth, but, like many others, he exaggerated and distorted the meaning and significance of these names to the point of absurdity. What he had feared most of all, for several years now, was exposure, and this was the chief ground for his permanent, exaggerated uneasiness, especially when he dreamed of transferring his activities to Petersburg. In this respect he was scared, as they say, the way little children are sometimes scared. Some years ago, in the provinces, when he was just embarking on his career, he had met with two cases in which rather important personages of the province, whom he had latched on to and who until then had been his patrons, were cruelly exposed. One case ended somehow especially scandalously for the exposed personage, and the other even all but ended in real trouble. This was why Pyotr Petrovich decided, upon arriving in Petersburg, to find out at once how matters stood, and, if need be, to head things off just in case and curry favor with “our young generations.” To this end he put his hopes in Andrei Semyonovich, and in any case, as during his visit to Raskolnikov, for example, he already knew how to round off certain phrases he had borrowed somewhere . . .

Of course, he soon managed to discern in Andrei Semyonovich an extremely trite and simple little man. But this did not in the least reassure or encourage Pyotr Petrovich. Even if he were convinced that all progressivists were the same sort of little fools, it would still not have allayed his uneasiness. Properly speaking, these teachings, ideas, systems (with which Andrei Semyonovich simply pounced upon him), were none of his affair. He had his own object. He needed only to find out at once and quickly what went on here, and how. Did these people have any power, or did they not have any power? Was there anything for him to fear personally, or was there not? Would they expose him if he undertook this or that, or would they not expose him? And if they would expose him, then what for, and what exactly was it that one got exposed for nowadays? Furthermore, could he not somehow get in good with them and at the same time hoodwink them a bit, if they were indeed so powerful? Was it the thing to do, or not? Could he not, for instance, bolster his career a bit precisely by means of them? In short, he was faced with hundreds of questions.

This Andrei Semyonovich was a thin-blooded and scrofulous little man, small of stature, who worked as an official somewhere, was strangely towheaded, and had side-whiskers shaped like mutton-chops, which were his great pride. What's more, his eyes were almost constantly ailing. His heart was rather soft, but his speech was quite self-confident and on occasion extremely presumptuous—which, compared with his little figure, almost always came out funny. Amalia Ivanovna, however, counted him among her most honored tenants, meaning that he did not drink and that he paid his rent regularly. In spite of all these qualities, Andrei Semyonovich was indeed a bit stupid.

He subscribed himself to progress and “our young generations” out of passion. He was one of that numerous and diverse legion of vulgarians, feeble miscreates, half-taught petty tyrants who make a point of instantly latching on to the most fashionable current idea, only to vulgarize it at once, to make an instant caricature of everything they themselves serve, sometimes quite sincerely.

However, though he was a very kind little man, Lebezyatnikov was also beginning to find his cohabitant and former guardian, Pyotr Petrovich, partly unbearable. It came about somehow mutually and inadvertently on both sides. Simple as Andrei Semyonovich was, he nevertheless began gradually to realize that Pyotr Petrovich was hoodwinking him and secretly despised him, and that “he was not the right sort of man at all.” He had tried expounding Fourier's system and Darwin's theory to him, but Pyotr Petrovich, especially of late, had begun listening somehow too sarcastically, and most recently had even become abusive. The thing was that he had begun to perceive, by instinct, that Lebezyatnikov was not only a trite and silly little man, but perhaps also a bit of a liar; that he had no connections of any importance even in his own circle, but had only heard things third hand; moreover, he perhaps did not even know his own propaganda business properly, because he got too confused; and so it was not for the likes of him to be an exposer! Incidentally, let us note in passing that Pyotr Petrovich, during this week and a half, had willingly accepted (especially at the beginning) some rather peculiar praise from Andrei Semyonovich; that is, he did not object, for example, but remained silent, when Andrei Semyonovich ascribed to him a readiness to contribute to the future and imminent establishing of a new “commune” somewhere in Meshchanskaya Street, or not to hinder Dunechka, for example, if in the very first month of marriage she should decide to take a lover, or not to have his future children baptized, and so on and so forth—all in the same vein.^[107] Pyotr Petrovich, as was his custom, did not object to such qualities being ascribed to him, and allowed himself to be praised even in such a way—so pleasant did he find every sort of praise.

Pyotr Petrovich, who for some reason had cashed several five percent bank notes that morning, sat at the table and counted through the bundles of hills and series. Andrei Semyonovich, who almost never had any money, was pacing the room, pretending to himself that he looked upon all those bundles with indifference, and even with contempt. Pyotr Petrovich would in no way have believed, for example, that Andrei Semyonovich could indeed look upon so much money with indifference; and Andrei Semyonovich, in his turn, reflected bitterly that Pyotr Petrovich was indeed capable of having such thoughts about him, and, furthermore, was perhaps glad of the chance to prod and tease his young friend with the laid-out bundles of bills, reminding him of his nonentity and all the difference supposedly existing between the two of them.

He found him, this time, unprecedentedly irritable and inattentive, even though he, Andrei Semyonovich, had begun to develop for him his favorite theme about the establishment of a new, special “commune.” The brief objections and remarks that escaped Pyotr Petrovich in the intervals between the clicking of beads on the abacus, breathed the most obvious and deliberately impolite mockery. But the “humane” Andrei Semyonovich ascribed Pyotr Petrovich's state of mind to the impression of yesterday's break with Dunechka, and was burning with the desire to take up the subject at once: he had something progressive and propagandizing to say on that account, which would comfort his honorable friend and “undoubtedly” be useful in his further development.

“What is this memorial meal that this...widow is arranging?” Pyotr Petrovich asked suddenly, interrupting Andrei Semyonovich at the most interesting point.

“As if you didn't know; I spoke with you on the subject just yesterday, and developed my thought about all these rites...But she invited you, too, I heard it. You spoke with her yourself yesterday . . .”

“I never expected the destitute fool would dump on this one meal all the money she got from that other fool... Raskolnikov. I was even amazed as I passed by just now; the preparations, the wines! ... A number of people have been invited—devil knows what's going on!” Pyotr Petrovich continued, inquiring and driving at the conversation as if with some purpose. “What? You say I was invited, too?” he suddenly added, raising his head. “When was that? I don't remember it, sir. I won't go, however. Why should I? I just talked with her yesterday, in passing, about the possibility of her receiving a year's salary in a lump sum, as the destitute widow of an official. Maybe that's why she invited me? Heh, heh!”

“I don't intend to go either,” said Lebezyatnikov.

“Surely not! You gave her a thrashing with your own hands. Naturally, you're ashamed, heh, heh, heh!”

“Who gave a thrashing? To whom?” Lebezyatnikov became all flustered, and even blushed.

“Why, you did; you thrashed Katerina Ivanovna, about a month ago, didn't you? I heard it yesterday, sir...So much for your convictions! ... And it leaves the woman question a bit lame. Heh, heh, heh!”

And, as if feeling better, Pyotr Petrovich began clicking his abacus again.

“That is all nonsense and slander!” Lebezyatnikov flared up, always fearful of being reminded of this story. “It wasn't like that at all! It was different... You heard it wrong; it's gossip! I merely defended myself then. She attacked me first with her claws...She plucked out one whole side of my whiskers...Every human being, I hope, is allowed to defend his own person. Besides, I will not allow anyone to use violence against me...On principle. Because it amounts to despotism. What was I to do: just stand there? I only pushed her away.”

“Heh, heh, heh!” Luzhin went on chuckling maliciously.

“You're picking at me because you're angry and irritated yourself...But it's nonsense, and has nothing to do with the woman question at all, not at all! You don't understand it rightly; I even thought that if it's so well accepted that woman is the equal of man in everything, even in strength (as has already been affirmed), then there ought to be equality here as well. Of course, I reasoned later that essentially there should be no such question, because there also should be no fighting, and that instances of fighting are unthinkable in the future society...and it's strange, of course, to look for equality in fighting. I'm not that stupid...although fighting, by the way, is...that is, later there won't be any, but now there's still...pah! the devil! You throw a man off! I won't go to the memorial meal, but it's not on account of that trouble; I won't go on principle, so as not to participate in the vile prejudice of such a meal, that's why! However, it would even be possible to go, just like that, to laugh...A pity there won't be any priests. Otherwise, I'd certainly go.”

“You mean, to sit at someone else's table and immediately spit upon it, as well as upon those who invited you. Is that it?”

“Not at all to spit, but to protest. With a useful purpose. I might contribute indirectly to development and propaganda. It's the duty of every man to develop and propagandize, and the sharper the better, perhaps. I might sow an idea, a seed...From this seed a fact will grow. How am I offending them? They'll be offended at first, but then they'll see for themselves that I've been useful. Didn't they accuse Terebyeva at first (the one who is now in a commune) because, when she walked out on her family and...gave herself, she wrote to her mother and father that she did not want to live among prejudices and was entering into a civil marriage, and it was supposedly all too rude—towards fathers, that is—and she could have spared them and written more gently? That's all nonsense, in my opinion, and it shouldn't have been any gentler; on the contrary, on the contrary, it's here that one needs to protest. Take Varents, now; she lived for seven years with her husband, abandoned her two children, snapped out at once in a letter to the husband: 'I realized that I could not be happy with you. I will never forgive you for deceiving me, by concealing from me the existence of a different social order, by means of communes. I recently learned all about it from a magnanimous man to whom I have given myself, and together we are setting up a commune. I say it directly, because I consider it dishonest to deceive you. Remain as you choose. Do not hope to bring me back, you are too late. I wish you happiness.' That's how such letters are written!”

“And is this the same Terebyeva you told me about, the one who is now in her third civil marriage?”

“Only the second, if you're really counting! But even if it were the fourth, or the fifteenth, it's all nonsense! And if ever I've regretted that my father and mother are dead, it's certainly now. I've even dreamed several times of how I'd smack them with a protest, if only they were alive! I'd set it all up on purpose...A 'severed member' and all that—pah! who cares! I'd show them! They'd get a surprise! Really, it's too bad I haven't got anybody!”

“To surprise, you mean? Heh, heh! Well, be that as you like,” Pyotr Petrovich interrupted, “but tell me something: you do know this dead man's daughter, the frail one? Is it completely true what they say about her, eh?”

“What if it is? In my opinion—I mean, according to my personal conviction—that is the most normal condition for a woman. And why not? I mean, distinguons.^[108] In today's society it is, of course, not quite normal, because it's forced, but in the future it will be perfectly normal, because free. But now, too, she had the right: she was suffering, and this was her reserve, her capital, so to speak, which she had every right to dispose of. Naturally, there will be no need of reserves in the future society; but her role will be designated by a different significance, it will be conditioned harmoniously and rationally. As far as Sofya Semyonovna personally is concerned, at present I look upon her actions as an energetic and embodied protest against the social order, and I deeply respect her for it. I even rejoice to look at her!”

“Yet I was told that it was you who drove her out of this house!”

Lebezyatnikov even became furious.

“That is more gossip!” he shouted. “It was not like that at all, not at all! It really was not like that! That's all Katerina Ivanovna's lies, because she understood nothing! I was not making up to Sofya Semyonovna at all! I was simply developing her, quite disinterestedly, trying to arouse a protest in her...The protest was all I was after, and anyway, Sofya Semyonovna couldn't have gone on staying in the house as she was!”

“Were you inviting her to a commune?”

“You keep laughing, and very inappropriately, if I may say so. You don't understand anything! There are no such roles in a commune. Communes are set up precisely so that there will be no such roles. In a commune, the present essence of this role will be entirely changed, and what is stupid here will become intelligent there, what is unnatural here, under the present circumstances, will there become perfectly natural. Everything depends on what circumstances and what environment man lives in. Environment is everything, and man himself is nothing. And even now I'm on good terms with Sofya Semyonovna, which may serve you as proof that she never regarded me as her enemy and offender. Yes! I'm now enticing her into a commune, only on a totally, totally different basis! What's so funny? We want to set up our own commune, a special one, only on a much broader basis than the previous ones. We've gone further in our convictions. We negate more! If Dobrolyubov rose from the grave, I'd argue with him. As for Belinsky, I'd pack him away!^[109] And meanwhile I'm continuing to develop Sofya Semyonovna. She has a beautiful, beautiful nature!”

“So you're finding a use for this beautiful nature, eh? Heh, heh!”

“No, no! Oh, no! Quite the contrary!”

“Come now, quite the contrary! Heh, heh, heh! What a phrase!”

“No, believe me! What reasons do I have for concealing it from you, pray tell? On the contrary, I even find it strange myself: with me she's somehow especially, somehow fearfully chaste and modest!”

“And, of course, you're developing her...heh, heh! ... by proving to her that all these modesties are nonsense? . . .”

“Not at all! Not at all! Oh, how crudely, even stupidly—forgive me—you understand the word development! You really understand n-nothing! Oh, God, you're still so...unready! We seek woman's freedom, and you have only one thing on your mind...Setting aside entirely the question of chastity and womanly modesty as in themselves useless and even prejudicial, I fully, fully allow for her chastity with me, because—it's entirely her will, entirely her right. Naturally, if she herself said to me: 'I want to have you,' I would regard myself as highly fortunate, because I like the girl very much; but for now, for now at least, certainly no one has ever treated her more politely and courteously than I, or with more respect for her dignity...I wait and hope—that's all!”

“Well, you'd better give her some present. I bet you haven't thought of that.”

“You understand n-nothing, I tell you! She's in that sort of position, of course, but the question here is different! Quite different! You simply despise her. Seeing a fact which you mistakenly consider worth despising, you deny her any humane regard as a person. You still don't know her nature! Only it's a great pity that lately she has somehow ceased reading altogether and no longer takes any books from me. And she used to. It's a pity, too, that with all her energy and determination to protest—which she has already proved once—she still seems to have too little self-sufficiency, or independence, so to speak, too little negation, to be able to break away completely from certain prejudices and . . . stupidities. In spite of that, she has an excellent understanding of certain questions. She understood splendidly the question of kissing hands, for instance—that is, that a man insults a woman with inequality if he kisses her hand.^[110] The question was debated among us, and I immediately told her. She also listened attentively about the workers' associations in France. Now I'm explaining to her the question of freedom of entry into rooms in the future society.”

“What on earth does that mean?”

“The question was being debated recently, whether a member of a commune has the right to enter another member's room, either a man's or a woman's, at any time...well, and it was decided that he does...”

“Well, and what if he or she is occupied at the moment with vital necessities, heh, heh!”

Andrei Semyonovich even became angry.

“And you just keep at it, at these cursed 'necessities'!” he cried out with hatred. “Pah, I'm so angry and annoyed with myself for mentioning these cursed necessities prematurely, when I was explaining the system to you that time! Devil take it! It's a stumbling block for all your kind, and worst of all—they start tossing it around even before they know what it's about! And just as if they were right! Just as if they were proud of something! Pah! I've insisted several times that this whole question cannot be explained to novices except at the very end, once he's already convinced of the system, once the person has already been developed and directed. And what, pray tell, do you find so shameful and contemptible even in cesspits? I, first, I'm ready to clean out any cesspits you like! There isn't even any self-sacrifice in it! It's simply work, a noble activity, useful for society, as worthy as any other, and certainly much higher, for example, than the activity of some Raphael or Pushkin, because it's more useful!”^[111]

“And more noble, more noble, heh, heh, heh!”

“What do you mean by 'noble'? I don't understand such expressions as ways of defining human activity. 'More noble,' 'more magnanimous'—it's all nonsense, absurdities, old prejudicial words, which I negate! What is noble is whatever is useful for mankind! I understand only the one word: useful! Snigger all you like, but it's true!”

Pyotr Petrovich was laughing very much. He had already finished counting his money and tucked it away. However, part of it for some reason remained on the table. This “cesspit question,” in spite of all its triviality, had served several times before as a pretext for quarrels and disagreements between Pyotr Petrovich and his young friend. The whole stupidity lay in the fact that Andrei Semyonovich really got angry, while Luzhin was just letting off steam, and at the present moment wanted especially to anger Lebezyatnikov.

“It's because of your failure yesterday that you're so angry and carping,” Lebezyatnikov burst out at last. Generally speaking, in spite of all his “independence” and all his “protests,” he somehow did not dare to oppose Pyotr Petrovich and generally maintained a certain respectfulness towards him, habitual from years past.

“You'd better tell me one thing,” Pyotr Petrovich interrupted haughtily and with vexation. “Can you, sir...or, better, are you really on sufficiently close terms with the aforementioned young lady that you could ask her right now to come here, to this room, for a minute? I think they've all returned from the cemetery by now...I hear people walking around...I would like to see her—this person, I mean, sir.”

“But what for?” Lebezyatnikov asked in surprise.

“I just want to, sir. I'll be moving out of here today or tomorrow, and therefore I wished to tell her...However, please stay here during our talk. That will be even better. Otherwise you might think God knows what.”

“I'd think precisely nothing... I merely asked, and if you have some business, nothing could be easier than to call her away. I'll go now. And rest assured that I shall not interfere with you.”

Indeed, about five minutes later Lebezyatnikov returned with Sonechka. She came in greatly surprised and, as usual, timidly. She was always timid on such occasions, and was very afraid of new faces and new acquaintances, had been afraid even before, in her childhood, and was now all the more so...Pyotr Petrovich greeted her “courteously and affectionately,” though with a certain shade of some cheery familiarity, befitting, however, in Pyotr Petrovich's opinion, to such a respectable and solid man as himself with regard to such a young and, in a certain sense, interesting being. He hastened to “encourage” her and sat her down across the table from himself. Sonya sat down, looked around—at Lebezyatnikov, at the money lying on the table, and suddenly at Pyotr Petrovich again, and then could no longer tear her eyes away, as if they were riveted to him. Lebezyatnikov made a move towards the door. Pyotr Petrovich stood up, gestured to Sonya to remain seated, and stopped Lebezyatnikov at the door.

“This Raskolnikov—is he there? Has he come?” he asked him in a whisper.

“Raskolnikov? Yes. But why? Yes, he's there...He just came in, I saw him...But why?”

“Well, then I especially ask you to stay here with us, and not to leave me alone with this...girl. It's a trifling matter, but people will draw God knows what conclusions. I don't want Raskolnikov to tell them...You see what I mean?”

“Oh, I do, I do!” Lebezyatnikov suddenly understood. “Yes, you have the right. . . To be sure, in my personal opinion you're carrying your apprehensions too far, but...all the same, you have the right. I'll stay, if you like. I'll stand here at the window and not interfere with you...I think you have the right...”

Pyotr Petrovich went back to his sofa, sat down facing Sonya, looked at her attentively, and suddenly assumed an extremely imposing, even somewhat stern, expression, as if to say: “Don't you think anything of the sort, miss.” Sonya became utterly embarrassed.

“First, please make my excuses, Sofya Semyonovna, to your much respected mother...Am I right? I mean, Katerina Ivanovna is like a mother for you?” Pyotr Petrovich began quite imposingly, albeit rather affectionately. One could see that he had the most friendly intentions.

“Exactly right, sir, right, like a mother, sir,” Sonya replied hastily and fearfully.

“Well, so make my excuses to her, that owing to unrelated circumstances I am forced to stay away and will not be coming to your pancakes...I mean, memorial meal, in spite of your mother's charming invitation.”

“Right, sir, I'll tell her, at once, sir,” and Sonechka hastily jumped up from the chair.

“I haven't finished yet,” Pyotr Petrovich stopped her, smiling at her simplicity and ignorance of propriety, “and you little know me, my good Sofya Semyonovna, if you thought that for this unimportant reason, of concern to me alone, I would trouble someone such as yourself, and ask you to come and see me personally. I have a different object, miss.”

Sonya hastily sat down. The gray and iridescent bills which had not been removed from the table again began flashing in her eyes, but she quickly turned her face away and raised it towards Pyotr Petrovich: it suddenly seemed terribly indecent, especially for her, to stare at someone else's money. She tried to fix her eyes on Pyotr Petrovich's gold lorgnette, which he held in place with his left hand, and at the same time on the massive, heavy, extremely beautiful ring, with its yellow stone, on the middle finger of that hand—but suddenly she looked away from that as well, and, not knowing what else to do, ended by again staring straight into Pyotr Petrovich's eyes. After another pause, even more imposing than the previous one, the man went on:

“I happened yesterday, in passing, to exchange a few words with the unfortunate Katerina Ivanovna. Those few words were enough for me to see that she is—if I may put it so—in an unnatural condition . . .”

“Yes, sir...unnatural, sir,” Sonya kept hurriedly yessing him.

“Or, to put it more simply and clearly—she is sick.”

“Yes, sir, more simply and clear...yes, sick, sir.”

“So, miss. And thus, from a feeling of humaneness and...and...and commiseration, so to speak, I should like to be of some use, foreseeing her inevitably unfortunate lot. It seems that this entire, most destitute family now depends just on you alone.”

“Allow me to ask,” Sonya suddenly stood up, “what was it that you told her yesterday about the possibility of a pension? Because she told me yesterday that you were taking it upon yourself to obtain a pension for her. Is it true, sir?”

“By no means, miss, and in some sense it's even an absurdity. I merely alluded to temporary assistance for the widow of an official who has died in service—provided one has connections—but it appears that your deceased parent not only did not serve out his term, but had not served at all recently. In short, though there might be hope, it is quite ephemeral, because essentially there are no rights to assistance in this case, and even quite the opposite...And she's already thinking about a pension, heh, heh, heh! A perky lady!”

“Yes, sir, about a pension...Because she's trusting and kind, and her kindness makes her believe everything, and...and...and...that's how her mind is...Yes, sir...excuse me, sir,” Sonya said, and again got up to leave.

“If you please, you haven't heard me out yet, miss.”

“Right, sir, I haven't heard you out,” Sonya muttered.

“Sit down, then, miss.”

Sonya became terribly abashed and sat down again, for the third time.

“Seeing what situation she is in, with the unfortunate little ones, I should like—as I have already said—insofar as I can, to be of some use—I mean, insofar as I can, as they say, and no further. One could, for example, organize a benefit subscription for her, or a lottery, so to speak...or something of the sort—as is always done in such cases by relatives, or even by outsiders who wish generally to help. That is what I intended to tell you about. It can be done, miss.”

“Yes, sir, very good, sir...For that, sir, God will . . .” Sonya babbled, looking fixedly at Pyotr Petrovich.

“It can be done, miss, but...that's for later, miss...I mean, we could even begin today. We'll see each other in the evening, talk it over, and, so to speak, lay the foundations. Come to see me here at, say, seven o'clock. Andrei Semyonovich, I hope, will also take part... But...there is one circumstance here which ought to be mentioned beforehand and carefully. It was for this, Sofya Semyonovna, that I troubled you to come here. Namely, miss, that in my opinion to give money into the hands of Katerina Ivanovna herself is dangerous and ought not to be done; and the proof of it is—this very memorial meal today. Not having, so to speak, even a crust of daily food for tomorrow, nor... well, nor shoes, nor anything, today she buys Jamaica rum, and, I think, even Madeira, and...and...and coffee. I saw it as I passed by. Tomorrow it will all fall on you again, to the last piece of bread; now, this is absurd, miss. And therefore the subscription, in my personal opinion, ought to be done in such a way that the unfortunate widow, so to speak, does not even know about the money, and only you, for instance, know about it. Am I right in saying so?”

“I don't know, sir. It's only today that she's been like this...once in her life...she wanted so much to commemorate, to honor, to remember...otherwise she's very intelligent, sir. However, as you wish, sir, and I'll be very, very, very...and they'll all be...and God will...and the orphans, sir . . .”

Sonya did not finish, and began crying.

“So, miss. Well, do keep it in mind; and now be good enough to accept, in the interests of your relative, on this first occasion, a sum feasible for me personally. I am quite, quite anxious that my name not be mentioned in this connection. Here, miss, having my own cares, so to speak, this is all I am able to . . .”

And Pyotr Petrovich handed Sonya a ten-rouble bill, after carefully unfolding it. Sonya took it, blushed, jumped up, murmured something, and hastily began bowing her way out. Pyotr Petrovich solemnly accompanied her to the door. She sprang out of the room at last, all agitated and exhausted, and returned in great embarrassment to Katerina Ivanovna.

During the course of this whole scene, Andrei Semyonovich either stood by the window or paced the room, not wishing to interrupt the conversation; but when Sonya left, he suddenly went up to Pyotr Petrovich and solemnly offered him his hand.

“I heard everything, and saw everything,” he said, with special emphasis on the word saw. “What a noble thing—that is, I meant to say, humane! You wished to avoid gratitude, I could see! And though I confess to you that, on principle, I cannot sympathize with private philanthropy, because it not only does not eradicate evil at the root, but even nourishes it still more, nevertheless I cannot help confessing that I looked upon your action with pleasure—yes, yes, I like it.”

“Eh, what nonsense!” Pyotr Petrovich muttered, a bit disturbed, and looking somehow closely at Lebezyatnikov.

“No, it's not nonsense! A man insulted and irritated as you are by yesterday's incident, and at the same time capable of thinking of the misfortune of others—such a man, sir...though by his actions he may be making a social mistake—nevertheless...is worthy of respect! I did not even expect it of you, Pyotr Petrovich, the less so since according to your ideas—oh! how your ideas still hinder you! How troubled you are, for instance, by yesterday's failure,” the good little Andrei Semyonovich went on exclaiming, once more feeling fervently inclined towards Pyotr Petrovich, “but why, why the absolute need for this marriage, this legal marriage, my most noble and most amiable Pyotr Petrovich? Why this absolute need for legality in marriage? Well, beat me if you like, but I'm glad, glad that it fell through, that you are free, that you are not yet altogether lost to mankind, glad...You see, I've spoken my mind.”

“Because I don't want to wear horns and breed up other men's children—that's why I need a legal marriage,” Luzhin said, just to make a reply. He was especially pensive and preoccupied with something.

“Children? You've touched upon children?” Andrei Semyonovich gave a start, like a war horse hearing the sound of trumpets. “Children are a social question, and the question is of the first importance, I agree; but the question of children will be resolved differently. There are even some who negate children altogether, as they do every suggestion of the family. We'll talk about children later, but now let us turn our attention to horns! I confess, this is my weak spot. This nasty, Pushkinian, hussar's expression is even unthinkable in the future lexicon.^[112]Besides, what are horns? Oh, delusion! What horns? Why horns? What nonsense! On the contrary, in civil marriage there won't be any horns! Horns are simply the natural consequence of every legal marriage, its correction, so to speak, a protest, so that in this sense they are not humiliating in the least. . . And—absurd as it is to think of it—if ever I wind up in a legal marriage, I will even be glad of your thrice-cursed horns; in that case I'll say to my wife: 'My friend, before now I have only loved you, but now I respect you, because you've been able to protest!'^[113] You laugh? That's because you're not strong enough to tear yourself free of prejudices! Devil take it, don't I know precisely what makes it so unpleasant when you're deceived in the legal sort? But that is merely the base consequence of a base fact, in which both parties are humiliated. But when the horns are given openly, as in a civil marriage, then they no longer exist, they are unthinkable, and lose even the name of horns. On the contrary, your wife will merely be proving how much she respects you, by considering you incapable of opposing her happiness and developed enough not to take revenge on her for her new husband. Devil take it, I sometimes dream that if I were given in marriage—pah!—if I were to marry (civilly or legally, it makes no difference), I think I'd bring my wife a lover myself, if she was too slow in taking one. 'My friend,' I'd say, 'I love you, but beyond that I wish you to respect me—here!' Is it right, is it right what I'm saying? . . .”

Pyotr Petrovich was chuckling as he listened, but with no particular enthusiasm. Indeed, he was scarcely even listening. He was actually thinking over something else, and even Lebezyatnikov finally noticed it. Pyotr Petrovich was even excited; he rubbed his hands and kept lapsing into thought. All this Andrei Semyonovich realized and recalled afterwards . . .

II

It would be difficult to point to exactly what caused the idea of this witless memorial meal to be born in Katerina Ivanovna's unsettled head. Indeed, nearly ten roubles had been thrown away on it, out of the more than twenty she had received from Raskolnikov for Marmeladov's actual funeral. Perhaps Katerina Ivanovna considered it her duty towards the dead man to honor his memory “properly,” so that all the tenants would know, Amalia Ivanovna especially, that he was “not only in no way worse than they, but maybe even much better,” and that none of them had the right to “turn up his nose” at him. Perhaps what had greatest influence here was that special poor man's pride, which brings it about that in some of the social rituals obligatory for one and all in our daily life, many poor people turn themselves inside out and spend every last kopeck of their savings, only so as to be “no worse than others” and “not to be condemned” somehow by these others. It is quite probable that Katerina Ivanovna wished, precisely on that occasion, precisely at that moment when it seemed she had been abandoned by everyone in the world, to show all these “worthless and nasty tenants” not only that she “knew how to live and how to entertain,” but that she had even been brought up for an altogether different lot, that she had been brought up “in a noble, one might even say aristocratic, colonel's house,” and was not at all prepared for sweeping the floor herself and washing the children's rags at night. Such paroxysms of pride and vanity sometimes visit the poorest and most downtrodden people, and at times turn into an irksome and irrepressible need in them. Katerina Ivanovna, moreover, was not the downtrodden sort at all; she could be utterly crushed by circumstances, but to make her morally downtrodden—that is, to intimidate her and break her will—was impossible. Moreover, Sonechka had quite good grounds for saying of her that her mind was becoming deranged. True, one could not say it positively and finally as yet, but indeed, recently, during the whole past year, her poor head had been too tormented not to have become at least partially damaged. An acute development of consumption, physicians say, also leads to a deranging of the mental faculties.

Wines in plural and in great variety there were not, nor was there any Madeira; all this had been exaggerated; but there was wine. There were vodka, rum, and Lisbon, all of the worst quality, but all in sufficient quantity. Of food, besides kutya,^[114] there were three or four dishes (pancakes among them), all from Amalia Ivanovna's kitchen, and in addition two samovars were being prepared for tea and punch, which were supposed to follow the meal. The purchasing had been seen to by Katerina Ivanovna herself, with the help of one tenant, a pathetic little Pole, who for God knows what reason was living at Mrs. Lippewechsel's, and who immediately attached himself to Katerina Ivanovna as an errand boy, and had spent the whole day yesterday and all that morning running around with his tongue hanging out, seeming especially anxious that this last circumstance be noticed. He came running to Katerina Ivanovna for every trifle, even ran to look for her in the Gostiny Arcade, kept calling her “pani cborunzina,”^[115] until at last she got thoroughly fed up with him, though at first she had said that without this “obliging and magnanimous” man she would utterly have perished. It was a property of Katerina Ivanovna's character hastily to dress up any first-comer in the best and brightest colors, to shower him with praises, which made some even feel ashamed, to invent various nonexistent circumstances for praising him, and to believe with perfect sincerity and candor in their reality, and then suddenly, all at once, to become disillusioned, to cut short, berate, and drive out the person whom, only a few hours earlier, she had literally worshipped. She was naturally of an easily amused, cheerful, and peaceable character, but continual misfortunes and failures had made her wish and demand so fiercely that everyone live in peace and joy, and not dare to live otherwise, that the slightest dissonance in life, the lease failure, would at once send her almost into a frenzy, and in the space of an instant, after the brightest hopes and fantasies, she would begin cursing her fate, tearing and throwing whatever she got hold of, and beating her head against the wall. Suddenly, for some reason, Amalia Ivanovna also acquired an extraordinary significance and extraordinary respect from Katerina Ivanovna, perhaps solely because this memorial meal got started and Amalia Ivanovna decided wholeheartedly to participate in all the chores: she undertook to lay the table, to provide linen, dishes, and so on, and to prepare the food in her kitchen. Katerina Ivanovna left her in charge when she went to the cemetery, and gave her full authority. Indeed, everything was done up famously: the tablecloth was even quite clean; the dishes, forks, knives, wineglasses, goblets, cups—all miscellaneous, of course, in all sorts of shapes and sizes, borrowed from various tenants—were in place at the right time; and Amalia Ivanovna, feeling that she had done a superb job, met the people coming back even with a certain pride, all decked out in a bonnet with new mourning ribbons and a black dress. This pride, though merited, for some reason displeased Katerina Ivanovna: “Really, as if they couldn't even have set the table without Amalia Ivanovna!” The bonnet with its new ribbons also displeased her: “Is this stupid German woman proud, by any chance, of being the landlady and agreeing out of charity to help her poor tenants? Out of charity! I ask you! In the house of Katerina Ivanovna's papa, who was a colonel and all but a governor, the table was sometimes laid for forty persons, and this same Amalia Ivanovna, or, more properly, Ludwigovna, wouldn't even have been allowed into the kitchen . . .” However, Katerina Ivanovna resolved not to air her feelings for the time being, though she decided in her heart that Amalia Ivanovna absolutely had to be brought up short that very day and reminded of her proper place, or else she would start fancying God knows what about herself, but for the time being she was simply cool to her. Yet another unpleasantness contributed to Katerina Ivanovna's irritation: almost none of the tenants who had been invited actually came to the funeral, except for the little Pole, who did manage to run over to the cemetery; yet for the memorial meal—for the food, that is—all the poorest and most insignificant of them appeared, many not even looking like themselves, just some sort of trash. And those who were a bit older and a bit more solid, as if on purpose, by conspiracy, all stayed away. Pyotr Petrovich Luzhin, for example, the most solid, one might say, of all the tenants, did not appear, and yet the evening before, Katerina Ivanovna had managed to tell the whole world—that is, Amalia Ivanovna, Polechka, Sonya, and the little Pole—that he was a most noble and magnanimous man, with the most vast connections and wealth, her first husband's old friend, received in her father's house, and that he had promised to use every means to obtain a considerable pension for her. Let us note here that when Katerina Ivanovna did boast of someone's connections and wealth, it was without any thought for herself, without any personal calculation, quite disinterestedly, so to speak, from a fullness of heart, only for the pleasure of praising, and so as to give even more worth to what she praised. Along with Luzhin, and no doubt “following his example,” that “nasty scoundrel Lebe-zyatnikov” also failed to appear. “Who does he think he is? He was invited only out of charity, and then only because he's sharing a room with Pyotr Petrovich and is his acquaintance, so that it would have been awkward not to invite him.” Absent as well were a certain genteel lady and her “overripe maiden” daughter, who, though they had been living in Amalia Ivanovna's rooms for only about two weeks, had already complained several times of noise and shouting from the Marmeladovs' room, especially when the deceased would return home drunk, of which Katerina Ivanovna had, of course, already been informed by Amalia Ivanovna herself when, squabbling with Katerina Ivanovna and threatening to turn out the whole family, she had shouted at the top of her voice that they were disturbing “noble tenants whose foot they were not worth.” Katerina Ivanovna now made a point of inviting this lady and her daughter whose “foot she supposedly was not worth,” the more so as prior to this, in chance meetings, the woman always turned haughtily away—now they would know that there were “people who had nobler thoughts and feelings, and invited guests without holding any grudges,” and they would see that Katerina Ivanovna was accustomed to quite a different lot in life. This was to be explained to them without fail at the table, as was the governorship of her late papa, and along with that an indirect remark would be made about there being no point in turning away from meetings, as it was an extremely stupid thing to do. There was a fat lieutenant-colonel (actually a retired captain) who also did not come, but it turned out that he had been “out cold” since the previous evening. In short, the only ones who came were: the little Pole; then a miserable runt of a clerk, mute, covered with blackheads, in a greasy frock coat, and with a disgusting smell; and then a deaf and almost completely blind old man, who had once worked in some post office, and whom someone from time immemorial and for unknown reasons had been keeping at Amalia Ivanovna's. There was also a drunken retired lieutenant, actually a supply officer, who had a most indecent and loud laugh, and, “just imagine,” was not wearing a waistcoat! One of them sat right down at the table without so much as a bow to Katerina Ivanovna, and finally one personage, for lack of clothes, appeared in his dressing gown, but this was already an impossible degree of indecency, and, through the efforts of Amalia Ivanovna and the little Pole, he was successfully removed. The little Pole, however, brought along two other little Poles, who had never even lived at Amalia Ivanovna's, and whom no one had seen in the house before. Katerina Ivanovna found all this quite unpleasantly annoying. “Whom were all these preparations made for, then?” To gain space, the children were not even put at the table, which took up the whole room anyway, but had to eat in the back corner on a trunk, the two little ones sitting on a bench, while Polechka, being a big girl, looked after them, fed them, and wiped their little noses “as is proper for noble children.” In short, Katerina Ivanovna had, against her will, to meet everyone with heightened dignity and even condescension. To some she gave an especially stern look, haughtily inviting them to sit down at the table. Considering Amalia Ivanovna for some reason answerable for all those who failed to come, she suddenly began treating her with great negligence, which Amalia Ivanovna noticed at once and greatly resented. Such a beginning promised no good end. Finally they all sat down.

Raskolnikov came in at almost the same moment as they returned from the cemetery. Katerina Ivanovna was terribly glad to see him, first because he was the only “educated man” among all the guests and “as everyone knew, was preparing to occupy a professor's chair at the local university in two years' time,” and second because he immediately and respectfully apologized to her for having been unable to attend the funeral, in spite of his wishes. She simply fell upon him, seated him at the table directly to her left (Amalia Ivanovna was sitting to her right), and in spite of her constant fussing and concern that the serving be correct and that there be enough for everyone, in spite of the tormenting cough that interrupted and choked her every moment and that seemed to have settled in her especially over the past two days, she constantly turned to Raskolnikov and hastened to pour out to him in a half whisper all her pent-up feelings and all her righteous indignation at the failed memorial meal—this indignation frequently giving way to the most gay and irrepressible laughter at the assembled guests, and predominantly at the landlady herself.

“It's all this cuckoo-bird's fault. You know who I'm talking about— her, her!” and Katerina Ivanovna nodded towards the landlady. “Look at her eyes popping out! She feels we're talking about her, but she can't catch anything, so she's gawking at us. Pah, what an owl! Ha, ha, ha! ... Hem, hem, hem! And what is she trying to show with that bonnet of hers! Hem, hem, hem! Have you noticed, she keeps wanting everyone to think she's patronizing me and doing me a great honor by her presence! I asked her, as a decent woman, to invite the better sort of people—namely, my late husband's acquaintances—and look who she's brought! Clowns! Sluts! Look at that one with the pimply face: some sort of snot on two legs! And those little Poles...ha, ha, ha! Hem, hem, hem! Nobody, nobody has ever seen them here; I've never seen them myself; so why did they come, I ask you? Sitting side by side so decorously. Hey, panie!”^[116] she called out suddenly to one of them, “did you have any pancakes? Have some more! Drink some beer,some beer! Don't you want some vodka? Look, he jumped up, he's bowing, look, look! The poor fellows must be quite hungry! Never mind, let them eat. At least they're not making any noise, only...only, really, I'm afraid for the landlady's silver spoons! ... Amalia Ivanovna!” she suddenly addressed her, almost aloud, “if by any chance they steal your spoons, I won't answer for them, I warn you beforehand! Ha, ha, ha!” She simply dissolved, turning to Raskolnikov again, and again nodding towards the landlady, delighted with her little escapade. “She didn't get it, again she didn't get it! She sits there gawking, look—an owl, a real owl, a barn owl in new ribbons, ha, ha, ha!”

Here her laughter again turned into an unbearable coughing, which lasted for about five minutes. There was blood left on her handkerchief; drops of sweat stood out on her forehead. She silently showed the blood to Raskolnikov and, having only just caught her breath, at once began whispering to him again in great animation and with flushed spots on her cheeks:

“You see, I gave her a most subtle errand, one might say—to invite that lady and her daughter, you know the ones I'm talking about? It was necessary to behave in the most delicate manner here, to act most skillfully, but she managed it so that this visiting fool, this presumptuous creature, this worthless provincial, simply because she's some sort of major's widow and has come to ask for a pension, and is wearing out her skirt-hems in all the offices, because at the age of fifty-five she blackens her eyebrows, powders her face, and wears rouge (as everyone knows)... and such a creature not only did not deem it necessary to come, but did not even send an apology for being unable to come, as common courtesy demands in such cases! But I cannot understand why Pyotr Petrovich hasn't come. And where is Sonya? Where did she go? Ah, here she is at last! Why, Sonya, where have you been? It's strange of you to be so unpunctual even at your own father's funeral. Rodion Romanych, let her sit next to you. Here's a place for you, Sonechka...take what you'd like. Have some fish in aspic, that's the best. They'll bring more pancakes soon. Did the children have any? Polechka, do you have everything there? Hem, hem, hem! All right, then. Be a good girl, Lenya; and you, Kolya, stop swinging your feet; sit like a noble child. What's that you're saying, Sonechka?”

Sonya hastened to convey at once Pyotr Petrovich's apology to her, trying to speak loudly enough for everyone to hear, and choosing the most respectful expressions, which she even invented and embellished a bit on Pyotr Petrovich's behalf. She added that Pyotr Petrovich had asked her to say especially that as soon as he could, he would come at once to talk over certain matters privately, and to discuss what could be done and undertaken in the future, and so on and so forth.

Sonya knew that this would calm and appease Katerina Ivanovna, that it would flatter her, and, above all—would satisfy her pride. She sat down next to Raskolnikov, having hastily bowed to him and looked curiously at him in passing. For the rest of the time, however, she somehow avoided looking at him or speaking to him. She even seemed absentminded, though she kept peering into Katerina Ivanovna's face in order to please her. Neither she nor Katerina Ivanovna was wearing mourning, for lack of dresses. Sonya had on something brown, of a darkish shade; Katerina Ivanovna was wearing her only dress, a dark cotton one with stripes. The news about Pyotr Petrovich went over swimmingly. Having listened to Sonya with an air of importance, Katerina Ivanovna, with the same importance, inquired after Pyotr Petrovich's health. Then, immediately and almost aloud, she whispered to Raskolnikov that it would indeed be strange for such a respected and solid man as Pyotr Petrovich to find himself in such “extraordinary company,” in spite of all his devotion to her family and his old friendship with her papa.

“That is why I am so especially grateful to you, Rodion Romanych, for not scorning my bread and salt, even in such circumstances,” she added, almost aloud.^[117] “However, I'm sure that only your special friendship with my poor late husband prompted you to keep your word.”

Then once again, with pride and dignity, she surveyed her guests, and suddenly, with special solicitude, inquired loudly of the old man across the table: “Wouldn't he care for some more stew, and had he tried the Lisbon wine?” The old man did not reply and for a long time could not understand what he was being asked, though his neighbors even began nudging him for the fun of it. He only looked around open-mouthed, which fueled the general merriment even more.

“What a dolt! Look, look! Why did they bring him? As for Pyotr Petrovich, I've always been confident of him,” Katerina Ivanovna continued to Raskolnikov, “and he certainly bears no resemblance...” (she addressed Amalia Ivanovna sharply and loudly, and with an extremely stern look, under which even Amalia Ivanovna quailed) “no resemblance to those frippery skirt-swishers of yours, whom my papa wouldn't even have taken as cooks into his kitchen, and as for my late husband, he, of course, would have been doing them an honor by receiving them, and then only out of his inexhaustible kindness.”

“Yes, ma'am, he liked his drink; he liked it, that he did, ma'am!” the retired supply officer suddenly exclaimed, emptying his twelfth glass of vodka.

“My late husband indeed had that weakness, and everyone knows it,” Katerina Ivanovna simply fastened on him all at once, “but he was a kind and noble man, who loved and respected his family; the only bad thing was that in his kindness he trusted too much in all sorts of depraved people, and God alone knows who he didn't drink with, even people who weren't worth his shoe sole! Imagine, Rodion Romanovich, they found a gingerbread rooster in his pocket: he was walking around dead drunk, yet he remembered the children.”

“A roo-ooster? Did you say a roo-ooster?” cried the supply gentleman.

Katerina Ivanovna did not deign to answer him. She lapsed into thought about something and sighed.

“You no doubt think, as everyone else does, that I was too strict with him,” she went on, addressing Raskolnikov. “But it wasn't so! He respected me, he respected me very, very much! He was a man of good soul! And I oftentimes felt so sorry for him! He used to sit and look at me from the corner, and I'd feel such pity for him, I'd have liked to be nice to him, but then I'd think to myself: 'I'll be nice to him, and he'll just get drunk again.' It was only by strictness that it was possible to restrain him at all.”

“Yes, ma'am, it did go on, the hair-pulling, that it did, more than once, ma'am,” the supply man bellowed again, and poured another glass of vodka into himself.

“Not just hair-pulling but even the broom would be a useful treatment for some fools. I'm not talking about my late husband now,” Katerina Ivanovna snapped at the supply man.

The flushed spots on her cheeks glowed brighter and brighter; her chest was heaving. Another minute and she would be ready to start a scene. Many were chuckling; evidently many found it enjoyable. They began nudging the supply man and whispering something to him. Obviously they wanted to set them at each other.

“And ma-a-ay I ask on what account, ma'am,” the supply man began, “that is, on whose noble account... you have just been so good as to...but, no! Nonsense! A widow! A widow-woman! I forgive...I pass!” and he knocked back some more vodka.

Raskolnikov sat and listened silently and with loathing. And he ate only out of politeness, barely touching the food that Katerina Ivanovna was constantly putting on his plate, and then only to avoid offending her. He kept a close eye on Sonya. But Sonya was becoming more and more anxious and preoccupied; she, too, anticipated that the memorial meal was not going to end peaceably, and watched with fear Katerina Ivanovna's mounting irritation. She knew, incidentally, that she herself, Sonya, was the main reason that the two visiting ladies had treated Katerina Ivanovna's invitation so contemptuously. She had heard from Amalia Ivanovna herself that the mother was even offended at the invitation and had posed the question: “How could she possibly place her daughter next to that girl?” Sonya had a feeling that this had somehow already become known to Katerina Ivanovna; and an offense to her, Sonya, meant more to Katerina Ivanovna than an offense to herself personally, or to her children, or to her papa; in short, it was a mortal offense, and Sonya knew that now Katerina Ivanovna would not rest “until she had proved to those skirt-swishers that they were both...” and so on and so forth. As if on purpose, someone sent Sonya a plate from the other end of the table with two hearts on it pierced by an arrow, molded in black bread. Katerina Ivanovna flared up and at once loudly remarked across the table that whoever had sent it was, of course, “a drunken ass.” Amalia Ivanovna, who also anticipated something bad, and furthermore was insulted to the bottom of her soul by Katerina Ivanovna's haughtiness, in order to divert the unpleasant mood of the company, and at the same time raise herself in the general esteem, suddenly, out of the blue, began telling of how an acquaintance of hers, “Karl from the pharmacy,” had taken a cab one night, and the driver “vanted to kill him, and Karl he pegged him fery, fery much not to kill him, and he vept and clasped his hands, and he vas sheared, and from fear vas pierced his heart.” Katerina Ivanovna, though she smiled, immediately observed that Amalia Ivanovna ought not to tell anecdotes in Russian. The woman became even more offended, and replied that her “fater aus Berlin vas a fery, fery important mann and vent mit his hands into the pockets.” The easily amused Katerina Ivanovna could not help herself and burst into a terrible fit of laughter, so that Amalia Ivanovna began to lose all patience and could barely contain herself.

“What a barn owl!” Katerina Ivanovna whispered again to Raskolnikov, almost cheerfully. “She meant to say he kept his hands in his pockets, but it came out that he picked people's pockets, hem, hem!

And have you noticed, Rodion Romanovich, once and for all, that all these Petersburg foreigners—that is, Germans mainly, wherever they come from—are all stupider than we are! You must agree, one simply cannot talk about how 'Karl from the pharmacy from fear vas pierced his heart,' and how he (the young snot!) 'clasped his hands, and vept, and pegged fery much' instead of just tying the driver up! Ah, the dunderhead! And yet she thinks it's very touching and doesn't suspect how stupid she is! In my opinion, this drunken supply man is a good deal smarter; at least one can see he's a boozer and has drunk up the last of his wits; but these people are all so well-behaved, so serious...Look at her sitting there with her eyes popping out. She's angry! She's angry! Ha, ha, ha! Hem, hem, hem!”

Having cheered up, Katerina Ivanovna immediately got carried away with various details, and suddenly began to talk of how, with the aid of the obtained pension, she would certainly start an institute for noble girls in her native town of T------. This was something Katerina Ivanovna herself had not yet spoken of with Raskolnikov, and she was immediately carried away with the most tempting details. All at once, no one knew how, she was holding in her hands that same “certificate of merit” which Raskolnikov had heard about from the late Marmeladov, when he was explaining to him in the tavern that Katerina Ivanovna, his spouse, on her graduation from the institute, had danced with a shawl “before the governor and other personages.” This certificate of merit was now obviously meant to serve as evidence of Katerina Ivanovna's right to start an institute of her own; but above all it had been kept ready with the purpose of finally confounding “those two frippery skirt-swishers” in case they should come to the memorial meal, and proving clearly to them that Katerina Ivanovna was from a most noble, “one might even say aristocratic, house, a colonel's daughter, and certainly better than the sort of adventuresses who have been multiplying in such quantity lately.” The certificate of merit was immediately handed around among the drunken guests, which Katerina Ivanovna did not prevent, because it did indeed mention en toutes lettres^[118] that she was the daughter of a court councillor and chevalier of an order, and therefore indeed almost a colonel's daughter. Burning with excitement, Katerina Ivanovna immediately expanded on all the details of this wonderful and peaceful future life in T------, the school-masters she would invite to give lessons in her institute, the venerable old Frenchman, Mangot, who had taught French to Katerina Ivanovna herself at the institute, and was now living out his old age in T------, and who would certainly come to her on quite suitable terms. Finally, it came to Sonya as well, “who would go to T------together with Katerina Ivanovna and help her there in everything.” Here someone suddenly snorted at the other end of the table. Though Katerina Ivanovna at once made a pretense of scornfully ignoring the laughter that arose at the end of the table, she deliberately raised her voice at once and began talking animatedly about Sofya Semyonovna's undoubted abilities to serve as her assistant, about “her meekness, patience, self-denial, nobility, and education,” and she patted Sonya on the cheek and, rising a little, warmly kissed her twice. Sonya flushed, and Katerina Ivanovna suddenly burst into tears, immediately observing of herself that “she was a nervous fool, and much too upset, and that it was time to end, and since the meal was over, why not serve tea.” At the same moment, Amalia Ivanovna, now utterly offended because she had not taken the least part in the entire conversation and no one would even listen to her, suddenly risked a last attempt and, with concealed anguish, ventured to offer Katerina Ivanovna an extremely sensible and profound observation about the necessity, in the future institute, of paying special attention to the girls' clean linen (die Wàsche) and “of making sure dere iss vun such good lady” (die Dame) “who should look vell after the linen,” and second, “that all the young girls mussn't sneak any novel by night to read.” Katerina Ivanovna, who was really upset and very tired, and was already thoroughly sick of the memorial meal, immediately “snapped” at Amalia Ivanovna that she was “pouring out drivel” and understood nothing; that it was for the head matron to worry about die Wàsche, not the directress of a noble institute; and as far as reading novels was concerned, that was all simply indecencies and she begged her to keep quiet. Amalia Ivanovna flushed and, getting angry, remarked that she was only “vishing vell” and that she “fery much vished vell,” but that “for a long time she vasn't the geld paid for the apartment.” Katerina Ivanovna “put her down” at once, declaring that she was lying when she said she “vished her vell,” because just yesterday, while the dead man was still laid out on the table,^[119] she had been tormenting her about the apartment. To this Amalia Ivanovna responded, quite consistently, that she had “infited those ladies, but the ladies didn't come, because those been noble ladies, and to a not noble lady they cannot come.” Katerina Ivanovna immediately “underscored” for her that since she was a slut, she was no judge of true nobility. This was too much for Amalia Ivanovna, and she declared at once that her “fater aus Berlin vas fery, fery important mann and vent mitt both hands into the pockets and alvays made like that: poof! poof!” and for a more lifelike portrayal of her fater, Amalia Ivanovna jumped up from her chair, thrust both hands into her pockets, puffed out her cheeks, and began producing some sounds vaguely resembling “poof, poof with her mouth, to the accompaniment of loud guffaws from all the tenants, who, anticipating a skirmish, deliberately encouraged Amalia Ivanovna with their approval. Now this Katerina Ivanovna could not tolerate, and she immediately “rapped out” for all to hear that Amalia Ivanovna perhaps never even had a fater; that Amalia Ivanovna was simply a drunken Petersburg Finn and must have lived somewhere formerly as a kitchen maid, if not something worse. Amalia Ivanovna turned red as a lobster and started shrieking that it was maybe Katerina Ivanovna who “hat no fater at all, but that she hat a fater aus Berlin, and he vore a frock coat this long and made poof, poof, poof all the time!” Katerina Ivanovna observed contemptuously that her origins were known to all, and that it was stated in print on that same certificate of merit that her father was a colonel, and that Amalia Ivanovna's father (if she had any father) must have been some Petersburg Finn who sold milk; but most likely there was no father at all, because to this day it was unknown whether Amalia Ivanovna's patronymic was Ivanovna or Ludwigovna. At this, Amalia Ivanovna became utterly enraged and, banging her fist on the table, began shrieking that she was Amal-Ivan, not Ludwigovna, that her fater's name “vas Johann, and he vas Burgomeister,” and that Katerina Ivanovna's fater “vas never vonce Burgomeister.” Katerina Ivanovna rose from her chair and sternly, in an ostensibly calm voice (though she was all pale and her chest was heaving deeply), remarked to her that if she ever dared “to place her wretched little fater on the same level with her dear papa, she, Katerina Ivanovna, would tear her bonnet off and trample it under her feet.” Having heard this, Amalia Ivanovna started running around the room, shouting with all her might that she was the landlady and that Katerina Ivanovna must “in vun minute facate the apartment”; then for some reason she rushed to gather up the silver spoons from the table. A row and an uproar ensued; the children started to cry. Sonya rushed and tried to hold Katerina Ivanovna back; but when Amalia Ivanovna suddenly shouted something about a yellow pass, Katerina Ivanovna pushed Sonya away and made for Amalia Ivanovna in order to carry out at once her threat concerning the bonnet. At that moment the door opened, and Pyotr Petrovich Luzhin appeared on the threshold of the room. He stood and with stern, attentive eyes surveyed the whole company. Katerina Ivanovna rushed to him.

III

“Pyotr petrovich!” she exclaimed, “you protect us at least! Bring home to this stupid creature that she dare not treat a noble lady in misfortune this way, that there are courts for such things...I'll go to the governor-general himself...She'll answer...Remember my father's bread and salt; protect the orphans.”

“Excuse me, madam...Excuse me, excuse me, madam,” Pyotr Petrovich brushed her aside. “As you are aware, I did not have the honor of knowing your father...excuse me, madam!” (Someone guffawed loudly.) “And I have no intention of participating in your ceaseless strife with Amalia Ivanovna...I have come for my own purposes...and wish to speak at once with your stepdaughter, Sofya...Ivanovna...I believe? Allow me to pass, ma'am.”

And edging past Katerina Ivanovna, Pyotr Petrovich made his way to the opposite corner, where Sonya was.

Katerina Ivanovna simply stood there as if thunderstruck. She could not understand how Pyotr Petrovich could disavow her dear papa's bread and salt. Having once invented this bread and salt, she now believed in it religiously. She was also struck by Pyotr Petrovich's tone—businesslike, dry, even full of some contemptuous threat. And everyone else somehow gradually became hushed at his appearance. Besides the fact that this “businesslike and serious” man was so sharply out of harmony with the whole company, besides that, one could see that he had come for something important, that probably only some extraordinary reason could have drawn him into such company, and that, therefore, something was about to happen, there was going to be something. Raskolnikov, who was standing next to Sonya, stepped aside to let him pass; Pyotr Petrovich seemed to take no notice of him. A minute later, Lebezyatnikov also appeared on the threshold; he did not come into the room, but stood there with some special curiosity, almost astonishment; he listened carefully, but it seemed that for a long time there was something he could not understand.

“Excuse me for possibly interrupting you, but the matter is rather important,” Pyotr Petrovich remarked somehow generally, not addressing anyone in particular. “I'm even glad to have the public here. Amalia Ivanovna, I humbly ask you, in your quality as landlady, to pay attention to my forthcoming conversation with Sofya Ivanovna. Sofya Ivanovna,” he continued, turning directly to Sonya, who was extremely surprised and already frightened beforehand, “a state bank note belonging to me, in the amount of one hundred roubles, disappeared from my table in the room of my friend, Andrei Semyonovich Lebezyatnikov, immediately following your visit. If, in one way or another, you know and can point out to us its present whereabouts, I assure you on my word of honor, and I call all of you as witnesses, that the matter will end right here. Otherwise, I shall be forced to take quite serious measures, in which case...you will have only yourself to blame, miss!”

Complete silence fell over the room. Even the crying children became quiet. Sonya stood deathly pale, looking at Luzhin, unable to make any reply. It was as if she still did not understand. Several seconds passed.

“Well, miss, what is it to be?” Luzhin asked, looking at her fixedly.

“I don't know...I don't know anything . . .” Sonya finally said in a weak voice.

“No? You don't know?” Luzhin asked again, and paused for another few seconds. “Think, mademoiselle,” he began sternly, but still as if admonishing her, “consider well; I am willing to give you more time for reflection. Kindly realize, mademoiselle, that if I were not so sure, then naturally, with my experience, I would not risk accusing you so directly; for I myself, in a certain sense, am answerable for such a direct and public accusation, if it is false, or even merely mistaken. I am aware of that. This morning, for my own purposes, I cashed several five percent notes for the nominal value of three thousand roubles. I have a record of the transaction in my wallet. On returning home—Andrei Semyonovich is my witness here—I began counting the money and, having counted out two thousand three hundred roubles, I put them away in my wallet, and put the wallet into the side pocket of my frock coat. There were about five hundred left on the table, in bank notes, among them three notes for a hundred roubles each. At that moment you arrived (summoned by me)—and all the while you were with me, you were extremely embarrassed, so that you even got up and for some reason hastened to leave three times in the middle of the conversation, though our conversation was not yet finished. Andrei Semyonovich can witness to all that. Probably, mademoiselle, you yourself will not refuse to state and corroborate that I summoned you, through Andrei Semyonovich, for the sole purpose of discussing with you the orphaned and helpless situation of your relative, Katerina Ivanovna (whom I have been unable to join for the memorial meal), and how useful it would be to organize something like a subscription, a lottery, or what have you, for her benefit. You thanked me and even shed a few tears (I am telling everything as it happened, first, to remind you of it, and second, to show you that not the slightest detail has erased itself from my memory). Then I took from the table a ten-rouble bank note and handed it to you, in my own name, for the sake of your relative's interests and in view of a first contribution. Andrei Semyonovich saw all this. Then I accompanied you to the door—still with the same embarrassment on your part—after which, remaining alone with Andrei Semyonovich and talking with him for about ten minutes, Andrei Semyonovich left, and I turned again to the table with the money lying on it, intending to count it and set it aside, as I had meant to do earlier. To my surprise, from among the other hundred-rouble bills, one was missing. Now, kindly consider: I really can in no way suspect Andrei Semyonovich, miss; I'm even ashamed of the suggestion. That I made a mistake in counting is also not possible, because I had finished all my accounts a moment before you came, and found the result correct. You can only agree that, recalling your embarrassment, your haste to leave, and the fact that you kept your hands on the table for some time; considering, finally, your social position and its attendant habits, I was forced, with horror, so to speak, and even against my will, to arrive at a suspicion—a cruel one, of course, but—a justified one, miss! I will also add and repeat that, in spite of all my obvious certainty, I am aware that there is still some risk present for me in this accusation of mine. But, as you see, I did not take it idly; I rose up, and let me tell you why: solely, miss, solely on account of your blackest ingratitude! What? I invite you in the interests of your most destitute relative, I offer you a feasible donation of ten roubles, and right then and there you repay all that with such an act! No, miss, that is not nice! You must be taught a lesson, miss. Consider, then; moreover, I beg you as a true friend (for you could have no better friend at this moment) to come to your senses! Otherwise, I shall be implacable! Well then, miss?”

“I took nothing from you,” Sonya whispered in terror. “You gave me ten roubles—here, take it.” Sonya pulled a handkerchief from her pocket, found the knot, untied it, took out the ten-rouble bill, and held her hand out to Luzhin.

“And the other hundred roubles you simply do not admit?” he said reproachfully and insistently, without taking the bill.

Sonya looked around. They were all staring at her with such terrible, stern, mocking, hateful faces. She glanced at Raskolnikov...he was standing by the wall, arms folded, looking at her with fiery eyes.

“Oh, Lord!” escaped from Sonya.

“Amalia Ivanovna, we shall have to inform the police, and therefore I humbly ask you to send meanwhile for the caretaker,” Luzhin said softly and even tenderly.

“Gott der Barmberzige!^[120] I just known she vas shtealing!” Amalia Ivanovna clasped her hands.

“You just knew?” Luzhin picked up. “Then you had at least some grounds for such conclusions before this. I beg you, most respected Amalia Ivanovna, to remember your words, which in any case have been spoken in front of witnesses.”

Loud talk suddenly arose on all sides. Everyone stirred.

“Wha-a-at!” Katerina Ivanovna suddenly cried, having come to her senses, and, as if tearing herself loose, she rushed at Luzhin. “What! You accuse her of stealing? Sonya? Ah, scoundrels, scoundrels!” And rushing to Sonya, she embraced her with her withered arms, as in a vise.

“Sonya! How dared you take ten roubles from him! Oh, foolish girl! Give it to me! Give me the ten roubles at once—there!”

And snatching the bill from Sonya, Katerina Ivanovna crumpled it in her hand, drew back, and hurled it violently straight into Luzhin's face. The ball of paper hit him in the eye and bounced onto the floor. Amalia Ivanovna rushed to pick up the money. Pyotr Petrovich became angry.

“Restrain this madwoman!” he shouted.

At that moment several more faces appeared in the doorway beside Lebezyatnikov; the two visiting ladies were among those peeking in.

“What! Mad? Mad, am I? Fool!” shrieked Katerina Ivanovna. “You, you're a fool, a pettifogger, a base man! Sonya, Sonya take his money? Sonya a thief? Why, she'd sooner give you money, fool!” And Katerina Ivanovna laughed hysterically. “Have you ever seen such a fool?” she was rushing in all directions, pointing out Luzhin to them all. “What! And you, too?” she noticed the landlady. “You're in it, too, you sausage-maker! You, too, claim that she 'vas shtealing,' you vile Prussian chicken-leg in a crinoline! Ah, you! ... you! But she hasn't even left the room; as soon as she came from seeing you, you scoundrel, she sat down at once just beside Rodion Romanovich! ... Search her! Since she hasn't gone anywhere, it means the money must still be on her! Search, then, go ahead and search! Only if you don't find anything, then, excuse me, my dear, but you'll answer for it! To the sovereign, the sovereign, I'll run to the merciful tsar himself, I'll throw myself at his feet, now, today! I'm an orphan! They'll let me in! You think they won't let me in? Lies! I'll get there! I will! Was it her meekness you were counting on? Were you hoping for that? But I'm perky enough myself, brother! You won't pull it off! Search, then! Search, search, go ahead and search!”

And Katerina Ivanovna, in a frenzy, tugged at Luzhin, pulling him towards Sonya.

“I'm prepared to, and I'll answer for it... but calm yourself, madam, calm yourself! I see only too well how perky you are! ... But it...it...you see, ma'am,” Luzhin muttered, “the police ought to be present. . . though, anyway, there are more than enough witnesses as it is...I'm prepared to...But in any case it's embarrassing for a man...by reason of his sex...If Amalia Ivanovna were to help...though, anyway, it's not how things are done...You see, ma'am?”

“Anyone you like! Let anyone you like search her!” cried Katerina Ivanovna. “Sonya, turn your pockets out for them! There, there! Look, monster, this one's empty, the handkerchief was in it, the pocket's empty, see? Here, here's the other one! See, see?”

And Katerina Ivanovna did not so much turn as yank the pockets inside out, one after the other. But from the second, the right-hand pocket, a piece of paper suddenly flew out and, describing a parabola in the air, fell at Luzhin's feet. Everyone saw it; many cried out. Pyotr Petrovich bent down, picked up the paper from the floor with two fingers, held it aloft for everyone to see, and unfolded it. It was a hundred-rouble bill, folded in eight. Pyotr Petrovich made a circle with his hand, showing the bill all around.

“Thief! Out from the apartment! Politz! Politz!” screamed Amalia Ivanovna. “They should to Tsiberia be chased! Out!”

Exclamations came flying from all sides. Raskolnikov was silent, not taking his eyes off Sonya, but from time to time shifting them quickly to Luzhin. Sonya stood where she was, as if unconscious; she was almost not even surprised. Color suddenly rushed to her cheeks; she uttered a short cry and covered her face with her hands.

“No, it wasn't me! I didn't take it! I don't know anything!” she cried in a heart-rending wail, and rushed to Katerina Ivanovna, who seized her and pressed her hard to herself, as if wishing to shield her from everyone with her own breast.

“Sonya! Sonya! I don't believe them! You see I don't believe them!” Katerina Ivanovna cried (in spite of all the obviousness), rocking her in her arms like a child, giving her countless kisses, catching her hands and simply devouring them with kisses. “As if you could take anything! What stupid people they all are! Oh, Lord! You're stupid, stupid,” she cried, addressing them all, “you still don't know what a heart she has, what a girl she is! As if she would take anything! Why, she'd strip off her last dress and sell it, and go barefoot, and give everything to you if you needed it—that's how she is! She got a yellow pass because my children were perishing from hunger, she sold herself for us! ... Ah, husband, husband! Ah, my poor, dead husband! Do you see? Do you see? Here's your memorial meal! Lord! But defend her! Why are you all standing there! Rodion Romanovich! Why don't you take her part? Do you believe it, too? None of you is worth her little finger, none of you, none, none, none! Lord, defend us finally!”

The cries of the poor, consumptive, bereaved Katerina Ivanovna seemed to produce a strong effect on the public. There was so much pathos, so much suffering in her withered, consumptive face, contorted by pain, in her withered lips flecked with blood, in her hoarsely crying voice, in her sobbing, so much like a child's, in her trusting, childlike, and at the same time desperate plea for defense, that they all seemed moved to pity the unfortunate woman. Pyotr Petrovich, at least, was immediately moved to pity.

“Madam! Madam!” he exclaimed in an imposing voice. “This fact does not concern you! No one would dare accuse you of any intent or complicity, the less so since you discovered it yourself by turning her pockets out: consequently you suspected nothing. I'm quite, quite prepared to show pity if poverty, so to speak, was also what drove Sofya Semyonovna to it, but why is it, mademoiselle, that you did not want to confess? Fear of disgrace? The first step? Or perhaps you felt at a loss? It's understandable; it's quite understandable...But, in any case, how could you get yourself into such qualities! Gentlemen!” he addressed everyone present, “gentlemen! Pitying and, so to speak, commiserating, I am perhaps ready to forgive, even now, in spite of the personal insults I have received. May this present shame serve you, mademoiselle, as a lesson for the future,” he turned to Sonya, “the rest I shall let pass, and so be it, I have done. Enough!”

Pyotr Petrovich gave Raskolnikov a sidelong look. Their glances met. Raskolnikov's burning eyes were ready to reduce him to ashes. Katerina Ivanovna, meanwhile, seemed not even to be listening anymore; she was madly embracing and kissing Sonya. The children also took hold of Sonya from all sides with their little arms, and Polechka— though without quite understanding what was the matter—seemed all drowned in tears, choking back her sobs and hiding her pretty little face, swollen with weeping, on Sonya's shoulder.

“How vile!” a loud voice suddenly came from the doorway.

Pyotr Petrovich quickly turned around.

“What vileness!” Lebezyatnikov repeated, staring him straight in the eye.

Pyotr Petrovich even seemed to give a start. Everyone noticed it. (They remembered it afterwards.) Lebezyatnikov took a step into the room.

“And you dare hold me up as a witness?” he said, approaching Pyotr Petrovich.

“What do you mean, Andrei Semyonovich? What are you talking about?” Luzhin muttered.

“I mean that you are...a slanderer, that is what my words mean!” Lebezyatnikov said hotly, giving him a stern look with his weak-sighted eyes. He was terribly angry. Raskolnikov simply fastened his eyes on him, as though catching and weighing every word. Again there was another silence. Pyotr Petrovich was even almost at a loss, especially for the first moment.

“If it's me you are...” he began, stammering, “but what's the matter with you? Have you lost your mind?”

“I haven't lost my mind, and you are...a swindler! Ah, how vile of you! I kept listening, I kept listening on purpose, so as to understand it all, because, I must admit, even now it doesn't seem quite logical...But what you did it for, I cannot understand.”

“But what have I done? Will you stop talking in these nonsensical riddles? Or maybe you've been drinking?”

“Maybe you drink, you vile man, but not me! I never even touch vodka, because it's against my convictions! Imagine, he, he himself, with his own hands, gave that hundred-rouble bill to Sofya Semyo-novna—I saw it, I am a witness, I'll swear an oath to it! He, he did it!” Lebezyatnikov repeated, addressing one and all.

“Are you cracked or what, you milksop!” Luzhin shrieked. “She herself, in person, right in front of you—she herself, here and now, in front of everyone, confirmed that she received nothing but ten roubles from me. How, in that case, could I have given it to her?”

“I saw it, I saw it!” Lebezyatnikov exclaimed and insisted. “And though it's against my convictions, I'm ready to go this very minute and swear whatever oath you like in court, because I saw you slip it to her on the sly! Only, like a fool, I thought you were slipping it to her out of philanthropy! At the door, as you were saying good-bye to her, when she turned away and you were shaking her hand, with your other hand, your left hand, you put a piece of paper into her pocket on the sly. I saw it! I did!”

Luzhin went pale.

“What lies!” he exclaimed boldly. “And besides, how could you make out a piece of paper, when you were standing by the window? You imagined it...with your weak-sighted eyes. You're raving!”

“No, I didn't imagine it! I saw everything, everything, even though I was standing far away; and though it is indeed difficult to make out a piece of paper from the window—you're right about that—in this particular case I knew for certain that it was precisely a hundred-rouble note, because when you went to give Sofya Semyonovna the ten-rouble bill—I saw this myself—you took a hundred-rouble note from the table at the same time (I saw it because I was standing up close then, and since a certain idea immediately occurred to me, I didn't forget that you had the note in your hand). You folded it and kept it clutched in your hand all the time. Then I forgot about it for a while, but when you were getting up, you passed it from your right hand to your left and nearly dropped it; then I remembered again, because then the same idea came to me—namely, that you wanted to be philanthropic to her in secret from me. You can imagine how I began watching—and so I saw how you managed to slip it into her pocket. I saw it, I did, I'll swear an oath to it!”

Lebezyatnikov was almost breathless. Various exclamations began coming from all sides, mostly indicating surprise, but some of the exclamations also took on a menacing tone. Everyone pressed towards Pyotr Petrovich. Katerina Ivanovna rushed to Lebezyatnikov.

“Andrei Semyonovich! I was mistaken about you! Defend her! You alone are on her side! She's an orphan; God has sent you! Andrei Semyonovich, you dear, sweet man!”

And Katerina Ivanovna, almost unconscious of what she was doing, threw herself on her knees before him.

“Hogwash!” screamed Luzhin, enraged to the point of fury. “You're pouring out hogwash, sir! 'I forgot, I remembered, I forgot'— what is all that! You mean I slipped it to her on purpose? Why? With what aim? What do I have in common with this . . .”

“Why? That I myself don't understand, but it's certain that I'm telling a true fact! I'm so far from being mistaken—you loathsome, criminal man—that I remember precisely how a question occurred to me at once in this connection, precisely as I was thanking you and shaking your hand. Precisely why did you put it into her pocket on the sly? That is, precisely why on the sly? Could it be simply because you wanted to conceal it from me, knowing that I hold opposite convictions and negate private philanthropy, which cures nothing radically? And so I decided that you were indeed ashamed to give away such a chunk in front of me, and besides, I thought, maybe he wants to give her a surprise, to astonish her when she finds a full hundred roubles in her pocket. (Because some philanthropists like very much to smear their philanthropies around like that, I know.) Then I also thought you might want to test her—that is, to see if she'd come and thank you when she found it. Then, that you wanted to avoid her gratitude, and that—how does it go?—that the right hand, or whatever, shouldn't know...something like that, in short^[121]...Well, and so many other thoughts came to my mind then that I decided to think it all over later, but still considered it indelicate to reveal to you that I knew the secret. Again, however, still another question immediately came to my mind: that Sofya Semyonovna, for all I knew, might lose the money before she noticed it, which is why I decided to come here, to call her aside, and inform her that a hundred roubles had been put in her pocket. But on the way I stopped first to see the Kobylyatnikov ladies and give them The General Conclusion of the Positive Method, and especially to recommend an article by Piederit (and, incidentally, one by Wagner as well);^[122] then I came here and found a whole scene going on! How, then, how could I have all these thoughts and arguments if I hadn't actually seen you put the hundred roubles in her pocket?” When Andrei Semyonovich finished his verbose argument, with such a logical conclusion at the close of the speech, he was terribly tired and sweat was even running down his face. Alas, he did not know how to explain himself properly even in Russian (though he knew no other language), so that he somehow immediately became all exhausted, and even seemed to have grown thinner after his forensic exploit. Nevertheless, his speech produced an extraordinary effect. He had spoken with such ardor, with such conviction, that everyone seemed to believe him. Pyotr Perrovich felt things were going badly.

“What do I care if some foolish questions came into your head?” he cried out. “That is no proof, sir! You may have raved it all up in a dream, that's all! And I tell you that you are lying, sir! Lying and slandering because of some grudge against me, and, namely, because you're angry at my disagreeing with your freethinking and godless social proposals, that's what, sir!”

But this dodge proved useless to Pyotr Petrovich. On the contrary, murmuring was heard on all sides.

“Ah, so you're off on that track now!” cried Lebezyatnikov. “Lies! Call the police, and I'll swear an oath to it! The one thing I can't understand is why he risked such a base act! Oh, you vile, pathetic man!”

“I can explain why he risked such an act, and if need be I'll swear an oath to it myself!” Raskolnikov spoke finally in a firm voice, stepping forward.

He appeared firm and calm. It somehow became clear to everyone at a glance that he really knew what it was all about and that the denouement had arrived.

“It's all perfectly clear to me now,” Raskolnikov went on, addressing Lebezyatnikov directly. “From the very beginning of this scene, I suspected there was some nasty hoax in it; I began suspecting it on account of certain particular circumstances, known only to myself, which I will presently explain to everyone: they are the crux of the matter! And you, Andrei Semyonovich, with your invaluable evidence, have finally made it all clear to me. I ask all of you, all of you, to listen carefully: this gentleman” (he pointed to Luzhin) “recently became engaged to a certain girl—namely, to my sister, Avdotya Romanovna Raskolnikov. But, having come to Petersburg, at our first meeting, the day before yesterday, he quarreled with me, and I threw him out of my place, for which there are witnesses. The man is very angry...I was not aware the day before yesterday that he was staying in your room, Andrei Semyonovich, and that consequently, on the same day that we quarreled—the day before yesterday, that is—he was a witness to my giving some money, as a friend of the late Mr. Marmeladov, to his wife, Katerina Ivanovna, for the funeral. He immediately wrote a note to my mother and informed her that I had given all my money not to Katerina Ivanovna, but to Sofya Semyonovna, and along with that made references in the meanest terms about...about Sofya Semyonovna's character—that is, he hinted at the character of my relations with Sofya Semyonovna. All this, you understand, with the aim of making me quarrel with my mother and sister, by suggesting to them that I was squandering their last money, which they had sent to help me, for ignoble purposes. Yesterday evening, before my mother and sister, and in his presence, I re-established the truth, proving that I had given the money to Katerina Ivanovna for the funeral, and not to Sofya Semyonovna, and that the day before yesterday I was not yet even acquainted with Sofya Semyonovna and had never set eyes on her. I also added that he, Pyotr Petrovich Luzhin, for all his virtues, was not worth the little finger of Sofya Semyonovna, of whom he spoke so badly. And to his question, whether I would sit Sofya Semyonovna next to my sister, I answered that I had already done so that same day. Angry that my mother and sister did not want to quarrel with me over his calumny, he became more unpardonably rude to them with every word. A final break ensued, and he was thrown out of the house. All this took place yesterday evening. Here I ask you to pay particular attention: suppose he now managed to prove that Sofya Semyonovna was a thief; then, first of all, he would prove to my sister and mother that he was almost right in his suspicions; that he was justly angry with me for putting my sister and Sofya Semyonovna on the same level; that in attacking me he was thereby also defending and protecting the honor of my sister, and his bride. In short, by means of all this he might even make me quarrel with my family again, and could certainly hope to win back their favor. I say nothing of his revenge on me personally, since he has reasons to suppose that Sofya Semyonovna's honor and happiness are very dear to me. That was the whole of his calculation! That is how I understand this business! That is the reason for it, and there can be no other!”

Thus, or almost thus, Raskolnikov ended his speech, interrupted frequently by exclamations from the public, who listened, however, very attentively. But in spite of all the interruptions, he spoke sharply, calmly, precisely, clearly, firmly. His sharp voice, his convinced tone and stern face produced an extraordinary effect on everyone.

“Right, right, that's right!” Lebezyatnikov confirmed delightedly.

“It must be right, because he precisely asked me, as soon as Sofya Semyonovna came to our room, whether you were here, whether I had seen you among Katerina Ivanovna's guests. He called me over to the window for that, and asked me quietly. That means he wanted to be sure you were here! It's right, it's all right!”

Luzhin was silent and only smiled contemptuously. He was very pale, however. He seemed to be pondering how he might wriggle out of it. He would perhaps have been glad to drop it all and leave, but at the present moment that was almost impossible; it would have amounted to a direct admission that the accusations being hurled at him were true and that he had indeed slandered Sofya Semyonovna. Besides, the public, who were a bit drunk to begin with, were much too excited. The supply man, though he had not understood it all, shouted more than anyone, and suggested certain measures quite unpleasant for Luzhin. But there were some who were not drunk; people came and gathered from all the rooms. The three little Poles were all terribly angry, and ceaselessly shouted “Panie lajdak!”^[123] at him, muttering some other Polish threats in addition. Sonya had listened with strained attention, but also as if not understanding it all, as if coming out of a swoon. She simply would not take her eyes from Raskolnikov, feeling that he was her whole defense. Katerina Ivanovna was breathing hoarsely and with difficulty, and seemed terribly exhausted. Amalia Ivanovna stood there most stupidly of all, her mouth hanging open, grasping nothing whatsoever. She saw only that Pyotr Petrovich had somehow been caught. Raskolnikov asked to speak again, but this time he was not given a chance to finish: everyone was shouting and crowding around Luzhin with threats and curses. Yet Pyotr Petrovich did not turn coward. Seeing that the case of Sonya's accusation was utterly lost, he resorted to outright insolence.

“Excuse me, gentlemen, excuse me; don't crowd, let me pass!” he said, making his way through the throng. “And kindly stop your threatening; I assure you nothing will come of it, you won't do anything, I'm not to be intimidated, quite the opposite, gentlemen, it is you who will have to answer for using force to cover up a criminal case. The thief has been more than exposed, and I shall pursue it, sirs. The courts are not so blind...or drunk; they will not believe two notorious atheists, agitators, and freethinkers, accusing me out of personal vengeance, which they, in their foolishness, admit themselves...So, sirs, excuse me!”

“Be so good as to move out, and don't leave a trace of yourself behind in my room! It's all over between us! When I think how I turned myself inside out explaining things to him...for two whole weeks! . . .”

“But I told you myself that I was vacating today, Andrei Semyonovich, and it was you who were trying to keep me here; now I shall only add that you are a fool, sir. I hope you may find a cure for your wits, and your weak-sighted eyes. Excuse me, gentlemen!”

He pushed his way through; but the supply man did not want to let him off so easily, just with abuse: he snatched a glass from the table, hauled off, and hurled it at Pyotr Petrovich; but the glass flew straight at Amalia Ivanovna. She shrieked, and the supply man, who had lost his balance as he swung, went crashing to the floor under the table. Pyotr Petrovich returned to his room, and half an hour later was no longer in the house. Sonya, timid by nature, had known even before that it was easier to ruin her than anyone else, and that whoever wanted to could offend her almost with impunity. But even so, until that very moment she had always thought it somehow possible to avoid disaster—by prudence, meekness, submissiveness to one and all. The disillusionment was too much for her. She was capable, of course, of enduring everything, even this, with patience and almost without a murmur. But for the first moment it was too much for her. In spite of her triumph and vindication—when the initial fear and the initial stupor had passed, when she had grasped and understood everything clearly—the feeling of helplessness and offense painfully wrung her heart. She became hysterical. Finally, unable to bear it, she rushed out of the room and ran home. This was almost immediately after Luzhin left. Amalia Ivanovna, when she was hit by the glass, amid the loud laughter of all those present, also could no longer bear this hangover from someone else's spree. With a shriek, she flung herself wildly at Katerina Ivanovna, whom she blamed for everything.

“Facate the apartment! At vonce! March!” And with these words she began seizing anything of Katerina Ivanovna's she could lay her hands on and throwing it to the floor. Nearly dead to begin with, all but in a faint, breathless, pale, Katerina Ivanovna jumped up from the bed (on which she had fallen in exhaustion) and rushed at Amalia Ivanovna. But the struggle was too unequal; she was pushed away like a feather.

“What! As if that godless slander weren't enough—this creature is at me, too! What! I'm driven from my apartment on the day of my husband's funeral, after my bread and salt, thrown out into the street, with the orphans! But where can I go?” the poor woman screamed, sobbing and gasping. “Lord!” she suddenly cried, her eyes flashing, “is there really no justice? Who else are you going to protect if not us orphans? Ah, no, we shall see! There is justice and truth in the world, there is, I'll find it! Just wait, you godless creature! Polechka, stay with the children; I'll be right back! Wait for me, even in the street! We'll see whether there's truth in the world!”

And throwing over her head the same green flannel shawl that the late Marmeladov had mentioned in his story, Katerina Ivanovna pushed her way through the disorderly and drunken crowd of tenants who still crowded the room, and ran shouting and weeping out into the street—with the vague purpose of finding justice somewhere, at once, immediately, and whatever the cost. Terrified, Polechka hid with the children in the corner, on the trunk, where, embracing the two little ones and trembling all over, she began waiting for her mother's return. Amalia Ivanovna rushed about the room, shrieked, wailed, flung everything she came upon to the floor, in a great rage. The tenants were all bawling without rhyme or reason—some finished saying whatever they could about the just-occurred incident; others quarreled and swore; still others began singing songs . . .

“And now it's also time for me to go!” thought Raskolnikov. “Well, Sofya Semyonovna, we'll see what you have to say now!”

And he set out for Sonya's place.

IV

Raskolnikov had been an energetic and spirited advocate of Sonya against Luzhin, even though he was burdened with so much horror and suffering in his own soul. But having suffered so much that morning, he was as if glad of the chance to change his impressions, which were becoming unbearable—to say nothing of all that was personal and heartfelt in his desire to defend Sonya. Besides, the meeting he now faced with Sonya had been on his mind, and troubled him terribly, especially at moments: he had to tell her who killed Lizaveta, and foresaw a terrible torment for himself, which he tried, as it were, to wave away. And therefore, when he exclaimed, as he was leaving Katerina Ivanovna's: “Well, what are you going to say now, Sofya Semyonovna?” he was evidently still in some externally aroused state of high spirits and defiance from his recent triumph over Luzhin. But a strange thing happened to him. When he reached Kapernaumov's apartment, he felt suddenly powerless and afraid. Thoughtful, he stood outside the door with a strange question: “Need I tell her who killed Lizaveta?” The question was strange because he suddenly felt at the same time that it was impossible not only not to tell her, but even to put the moment off, however briefly. He did not yet know why it was impossible; he only felt it, and the tormenting awareness of his powerlessness before necessity almost crushed him. In order not to reason and suffer any longer, he quickly opened the door and looked at Sonya from the threshold. She was sitting with her elbows resting on the table, her face buried in her hands, but when she saw Raskolnikov, she hurriedly rose and went to meet him, as if she had been waiting for him.

“What would have happened to me without you!” she said quickly, coming up to him in the middle of the room. Obviously it was just this that she was in a hurry to say to him. This was why she had been waiting for him.

Raskolnikov walked over to the table and sat down on the chair from which she had just risen. She stood in front of him, two steps away, exactly as the day before.

“Well, Sonya?” he said, and suddenly felt that his voice was trembling. “So the whole matter indeed rested on your 'social position and its accompanying habits.' Did you understand that just now?”

Suffering showed on her face.

“Only don't talk to me like you did yesterday,” she interrupted him. “Please, don't start. There's enough pain as it is . . .”

She smiled hurriedly, for fear he might not like her reproach.

“It was stupid of me to leave. What's going on there now? I was about to go back, but kept thinking...you might come.”

He told her that Amalia Ivanovna was throwing them out of the apartment, and that Katerina Ivanovna had run off somewhere “in search of truth.”

“Ah, my God!” Sonya heaved herself up. “Let's go quickly . . .”

And she seized her cape.

“It's the same thing eternally!” Raskolnikov cried out in vexation. “All you ever think about is them! Stay with me a little.”

“But...Katerina Ivanovna?”

“Katerina Ivanovna certainly won't do without you; she'll come here herself, since she ran away from the house,” he added peevishly. “If she doesn't find you here, you'll be blamed for it . . .”

In painful indecision, Sonya sat down on a chair. Raskolnikov was silent, looking at the ground and thinking something over.

“Suppose Luzhin didn't want to do it this time,” he began, without glancing at Sonya. “Well, but if he had wanted to, or if it had somehow entered into his calculations, he'd have locked you up in prison, if Lebezyatnikov and I hadn't happened to be there. Eh?”

“Yes,” she said in a weak voice. “Yes!” she repeated, distracted and alarmed.

“And I really might have happened not to be there! And as for Lebezyatnikov, he turned up quite accidentally.”

Sonya was silent.

“Well, and what if it had been prison? What then? Remember what I said yesterday?”

Again she did not reply. He waited.

“And I thought you'd cry out again: 'Ah, stop, don't say it!' “ Raskolnikov laughed, but somehow with a strain. “What now, still silent?” he asked after a moment. “We've got to talk about something! I, namely, would be interested in finding out how you would now resolve a certain 'question,' as Lebezyatnikov says.” (It seemed he was beginning to get confused.) “No, really, I'm serious. Imagine to yourself, Sonya, that you knew all of Luzhin's intentions beforehand, knew (I mean, for certain) that as a result of them Katerina Ivanovna would perish altogether, and the children as well, and with you thrown in (just so, thrown in, since you consider yourself nothing). Polechka, too...because she'll go the same way. Well, so, if all this was suddenly given to you to decide: is it for him or for them to go on living; that is, should Luzhin live and commit abominations, or should Katerina Ivanovna die? How would you decide which of them was to die? That's what I'm asking.”

Sonya looked at him worriedly: she could detect something peculiar in this uncertain speech, approaching its object from afar.

“I had a feeling you were going to ask something like that,” she said, looking at him searchingly.

“Well, so you did; all the same, how is one to decide?”

“Why do you ask about what cannot be?” Sonya said with loathing.

“So it's better for Luzhin to live and commit abominations! You don't dare to decide even in this?”

“But I cannot know divine Providence...And why do you ask what cannot be asked? Why such empty questions? How could it come about that it should depend on my decision? And who put me here to judge who is to live and who is not to live?”

“Once divine Providence gets mixed up in it, there's nothing to be done,” Raskolnikov growled sullenly.

“You'd better say straight out what you want!” Sonya cried with suffering. “You're leading up to something again...Can it be that you came only to torment me?”

She could not help herself and suddenly began weeping bitterly. He looked at her in gloomy anguish. About five minutes passed.

“Yes, you're right, Sonya,” he said at last, softly. He had changed suddenly; his affectedly insolent and powerlessly challenging tone had disappeared. Even his voice became suddenly weaker. “I told you yesterday that I would not come to ask forgiveness, and now I've begun by almost asking forgiveness...I was speaking about Luzhin and Providence for my own sake...I was seeking forgiveness, Sonya . . .”

He tried to smile, but this pale smile told of something powerless and incomplete. He bent his head and covered his face with his hands.

And suddenly a strange, unexpected feeling of corrosive hatred for Sonya came over his heart. As if surprised and frightened by this feeling, he suddenly raised his head and looked at her intently, but he met her anxious and painfully caring eyes fixed upon him; here was love; his hatred vanished like a phantom. That was not it; he had mistaken one feeling for another. All it meant was that the moment had come.

Again he covered his face with his hands and bent his head. Suddenly he turned pale, got up from the chair, looked at Sonya, and, without saying anything, went mechanically and sat on her bed.

This moment, as it felt to him, was terribly like the one when he had stood behind the old woman, having already freed the axe from its loop, and realized that “there was not another moment to lose.”

“What's the matter?” Sonya asked, becoming terribly timid.

He could not utter a word. This was not the way, this was not at all the way he had intended to announce it, and he himself did not understand what was happening with him now. She quietly went over, sat down on the bed beside him, and waited, without taking her eyes from him. Her heart was pounding and sinking. It became unbearable: he turned his deathly pale face to her; he twisted his lips powerlessly in an effort to utter something. Horror swept over Sonya's heart.

“What's the matter with you?” she repeated, moving slightly away from him.

“Nothing, Sonya. Don't be afraid...Nonsense! Really, if you stop and think, it's—nonsense,” he muttered, with the look of a man lost in delirium. “Only why did I come to torment you?” he suddenly added, looking at her. “Really, why? That's what I keep asking myself, Sonya...”

Perhaps he had asked himself this question a quarter of an hour before, but now he spoke quite powerlessly, hardly aware of himself, and feeling a ceaseless trembling all over.

“Oh, how tormented you are!” she said with suffering, peering at him.

“It's all nonsense! ... Listen, Sonya” (suddenly, for some reason, he gave a pale and powerless smile, which lasted about two seconds), “do you remember what I wanted to tell you yesterday?”

Sonya waited uneasily.

“I said, as I was leaving, that I was perhaps saying good-bye to you forever, but that if I came today, I'd tell you...who killed Lizaveta.”

She suddenly began trembling all over.

“So, you see, I've come to tell you.”

“Then, yesterday, you really . . .” she whispered with difficulty. “But how do you know?” she added quickly, as if suddenly coming to her senses.

Sonya began breathing with difficulty. Her face was becoming paler and paler.

“I know.”

She was silent for a minute or so.

“What, has he been found?” she asked timidly.

“No, he hasn't.”

“Then how do you know about it?” she asked again, barely audibly, and again after almost a minute's silence.

He turned to her and looked at her very, very intently.

“Guess,” he said, with his former twisted and powerless smile.

It was as if a shudder ran through her whole body.

“But you...I... why do you...frighten me so?” she said, smiling like a child.

“I must be a great friend of his...since I know,” Raskolnikov went on, still looking relentlessly in her face, as if he were no longer able to take his eyes away. “This Lizaveta...he didn't want to kill her...He killed her...accidentally...He wanted to kill the old woman...when she was alone...and he went there...And then Lizaveta came in...Then he...killed her, too.”

Another terrible minute passed. They both went on looking at each other.

“So you can't guess?” he suddenly asked, feeling as if he were throwing himself from a bell-tower.

“N-no,” Sonya whispered, barely audibly.

“Take a good look.”

Again, as soon as he said this, a former, familiar sensation suddenly turned his soul to ice: he looked at her, and suddenly in her face he seemed to see the face of Lizaveta. He vividly recalled the expression of Lizaveta's face as he was approaching her with the axe and she was backing away from him towards the wall, her hand held out, with a completely childlike fright on her face, exactly as when little children suddenly begin to be frightened of something, stare fixedly and uneasily at what frightens them, back away, and, holding out a little hand, are preparing to cry. Almost the same thing now happened with Sonya as well: just as powerlessly, with the same fright, she looked at him for a time; then suddenly, holding out her left hand, she rested her fingers barely, lightly, on his chest, and slowly began to get up from the bed, backing farther and farther away from him, while looking at him more and more fixedly. Her terror suddenly communicated itself to him: exactly the same fright showed on his face as well; he began looking at her in exactly the same way, and even with almost the same childlike smile.

“You've guessed?” he whispered at last.

“Lord!” a terrible cry tore itself from her breast. Powerlessly she fell onto the bed, face down on the pillows. But after a moment she quickly got up again, quickly moved closer to him, seized both his hands, and, squeezing them tightly with her thin fingers, as in a vise, again began looking fixedly in his face, as though her eyes were glued to him. With this last, desperate look she wanted to seek out and catch hold of at least some last hope for herself. But there was no hope; no doubt remained; it was all so! Even later, afterwards, when she remembered this moment, she found it both strange and wondrous: precisely why had she seen at once that there was no longer any doubt? She could not really say, for instance, that she had anticipated anything of the sort. And yet now, as soon as he told her, it suddenly seemed to her that she really had anticipated this very thing.

“Come, Sonya, enough! Don't torment me!” he begged with suffering.

This was not the way, this was not at all the way he had intended to reveal it to her, but thus it came out.

As if forgetting herself, she jumped up and, wringing her hands, walked halfway across the room; but she came back quickly and sat down again beside him, almost touching him, shoulder to shoulder. All at once, as if pierced, she gave a start, cried out, and, not knowing why, threw herself on her knees before him.

“What, what have you done to yourself!” she said desperately, and, jumping up from her knees, threw herself on his neck, embraced him, and pressed him very, very tightly in her arms.

Raskolnikov recoiled and looked at her with a sad smile.

“You're so strange, Sonya—you embrace me and kiss me, when I've just told you about that. You're forgetting yourself.”

“No one, no one in the whole world, is unhappier than you are now!” she exclaimed, as if in a frenzy, not hearing his remark, and suddenly burst into sobs, as if in hysterics.

A feeling long unfamiliar to him flooded his soul and softened it all at once. He did not resist: two tears rolled from his eyes and hung on his lashes.

“So you won't leave me, Sonya?” he said, looking at her almost with hope.

“No, no, never, not anywhere!” Sonya cried out. “I'll follow you, I'll go wherever you go! Oh, Lord! ... Ah, wretched me! ... Why, why didn't I know you before! Why didn't you come before? Oh, Lord!”

“Well, so I've come.”

“Now you've come! Oh, what's to be done now! ... Together, together!” she kept repeating, as if oblivious, and again she embraced him. “I'll go to hard labor with you!” He suddenly seemed to flinch; the former hateful and almost arrogant smile forced itself to his lips.

“But maybe I don't want to go to hard labor, Sonya,” he said.

Sonya glanced at him quickly.

After her first passionate and tormenting sympathy for the unhappy man, the horrible idea of the murder struck her again. In the changed tone of his words she suddenly could hear the murderer. She looked at him in amazement. As yet she knew nothing of why, or how, or for what it had been. Now all these questions flared up at once in her consciousness. And again she did not believe it: “He, he a murderer? Is it really possible?”

“What is this! Where am I!” she said, deeply perplexed, as if she had still not come to her senses. “But you, you, you're so...how could you make yourself do it?...What is this!”

“To rob her, of course. Stop it, Sonya!” he replied somehow wearily, and as if with vexation.

Sonya stood as if stunned, but suddenly exclaimed:

“You were hungry! You...it was to help your mother? Yes?”

“No, Sonya, no,” he murmured, turning away and hanging his head. “I wasn't so hungry...I did want to help my mother, but...that's not quite right either...don't torment me, Sonya!”

Sonya clasped her hands.

“But can it be, can it be that it's all actually true? Lord, what sort of truth is this! Who can believe it?...And how is it, how is it that you could give away your last penny, and yet kill in order to rob! Ahh! . . .” she suddenly cried out, “that money you gave to Katerina Ivanovna...that money...Lord, was that the same money . . .”

“No, Sonya,” he interrupted hastily, “don't worry, it wasn't the same money! That was money my mother sent to me, through a merchant; it came when I was sick, and I gave it away the same day...Razumikhin saw...it was he who received it for me...it was my money, my own, really mine.”

Sonya listened to him in perplexity and tried as hard as she could to understand something.

“And that money...though I don't even know if there was any money,” he added softly and as if pensively. “I took a purse from around her neck then, a suede purse...a fat one, stuffed full...but I didn't look inside, I must not have had time... And the things—there were just some cuff-links and little chains—I buried all the things along with the purse under a stone in some unknown courtyard on V------y Prospect, the very next morning...It's all still there . . .”

Sonya was listening as hard as she could.

“Well, then why...how can you say it was for the sake of robbery, if you didn't take anything?” she said quickly, grasping at a straw.

“I don't know... I haven't decided yet—whether to take the money or not,” he spoke pensively, and all at once, as if recollecting himself, he grinned quickly and briefly. “Ah, what a stupid thing to come out with, eh?”

The thought flashed through Sonya: “Can he be mad?” But she abandoned it at once: no, there was something else here. She understood nothing here, nothing at all.

“You know, Sonya,” he said suddenly, with a sort of inspiration, “you know, I can tell you this much: if I'd killed them only because I was hungry,” he went on, stressing each word, and looking at her mysteriously but sincerely, “I would now be...happy! You should know that!

“And what is it to you, what is it to you,” he cried out after a moment, even with some sort of despair, “what is it to you if I've now confessed that I did a bad thing? This stupid triumph over me—what is it to you? Ah, Sonya, was it for this that I came to you today!”

Sonya again wanted to say something, but kept silent.

“That is why I called you to go with me yesterday, because you are the only one I have left.”

“Called me where?” Sonya asked timidly.

“Not to steal, not to kill, don't worry, not for that,” he grinned caustically. “We're different. .. And you know, Sonya, it's only now, only now that I understand where I was calling you yesterday. And yesterday, when I was calling you, I didn't know where myself. I called you for one thing, I came to you for one thing: that you not leave me. You won't leave me, Sonya?”

She pressed his hand.

“And why, why did I tell her, why did I reveal it to her!” he exclaimed in despair after a moment, looking at her with infinite pain. “Now you're waiting for explanations from me, Sonya, you're sitting and waiting, I can see that; and what am I going to tell you? Because you won't understand any of it; you'll only wear yourself out with suffering . .. because of me! So, now you're crying and embracing me again—so, why are you embracing me? Because I couldn't endure it myself, and have come to shift the burden onto another: 'You suffer, too; it will be so much the easier for me!' Can you really love such a scoundrel?”

“But aren't you suffering as well?” cried Sonya.

The same feeling flooded his soul again, and softened it again for a moment.

“I have a wicked heart, Sonya; take note of that, it can explain a lot. That's why I came, because I'm wicked. There are those who wouldn't have come. But I am a coward and...a scoundrel! Well... and what if I am! All this is not it... I have to speak now, and I don't even know how to begin . . .”

He stopped and fell to thinking.

“Ahh, we're so different!” he cried out again. “We're not a match. And why, why did I come! I'll never forgive myself for it!”

“No, no, it's good that you came!” Sonya exclaimed. “It's better that I know! Much better!”

He looked at her with pain.

“Why not, after all!” he said, as if reconsidering, “since that is how it was! You see, I wanted to become a Napoleon, that's why I killed...Well, is it clear now?”

“N-no,” Sonya whispered, naively and timidly, “but go on, just go on! I'll understand, I'll understand everything within myself!” she kept entreating him.

“You will? All right, we'll see!”

He fell silent, and thought it over for a long time.

“The thing is that I once asked myself this question: how would it have been if Napoleon, for example, had happened to be in my place, and didn't have Toulon, or Egypt, or the crossing of Mont Blanc to start his career, but, instead of all these beautiful and monumental things, had quite simply some ridiculous old crone, a leginstrar's widow, whom on top of that he had to kill in order to filch money from her trunk (for his career, you understand)—well, so, could he have made himself do it if there was no other way out? Wouldn't he have shrunk from it because it was so unmonumental and...and sinful? Well, I tell you, I suffered a terribly long time over this 'question,' so that I was terribly ashamed when I finally realized (somehow all at once) not only that he would not shrink, but that it wouldn't even occur to him that it was unmonumental...and he wouldn't understand at all what there was to shrink from. And if there was indeed no other path for him, he'd up and throttle her before she could make a peep, without a moment's thoughtfulness! ... So I, too...came out of my thoughtfulness...I throttled her...following the example of my authority...And that's exactly how it was! You think it's funny? Yes, Sonya, the funniest thing is that maybe that's precisely how it was . . .”

Sonya did not think it was funny at all.

“You'd better tell me straight out. . . without examples,” she asked, still more timidly, and barely audibly.

He turned to her, looked at her sadly, and took her hands.

“You're right again, Sonya. It's all nonsense, almost sheer babble!

You see, my mother, as you know, has almost nothing. My sister received an education only by chance, and is doomed to drag herself about as a governess. All their hopes were in me alone. I was studying, but I couldn't support myself at the university and had to take a leave for a while. Even if things had managed to go on that way, then in about ten or twelve years (if circumstances turned out well) I could still only hope to become some sort of teacher or official with a thousand-rouble salary . . .” (He was speaking as if by rote.) “And by then my mother would have withered away with cares and grief, and I still wouldn't be able to set her at ease, and my sister...well, something even worse might have happened with my sister! ... And who wants to spend his whole life passing everything by, turning away from everything; to forget his mother, and politely endure, for example, his sister's offense? Why? So that, having buried them, he can acquire new ones—a wife and children—and then leave them, too, without a kopeck or a crust of bread? Well. . . well, so I decided to take possession of the old woman's money and use it for my first years, without tormenting my mother, to support myself at the university, and for the first steps after the university, and to do it all sweepingly, radically, so as to set up a whole new career entirely and start out on a new, independent path...Well...well, that's all...Well, that I killed the old woman—of course, it was a bad thing to do... well, but enough of that!”

In some sort of powerlessness he dragged himself to the end of his story and hung his head.

“Oh, that's not it, not it,” Sonya exclaimed in anguish, “how can it be so...no, that's not it, not it!”

“You can see for yourself that's not it! ... yet it's the truth, I told it sincerely!”

“What kind of truth is it! Oh, Lord!”

“I only killed a louse, Sonya, a useless, nasty, pernicious louse.”

“A human being—a louse!”

“Not a louse, I know it myself,” he replied, looking at her strangely. “Anyway, I'm lying, Sonya,” he added, “I've been lying for a long time...All that is not it; you're right in saying so. There are quite different reasons here, quite, quite different! ... I haven't talked with anyone for a long time, Sonya...I have a bad headache now.”

His eyes were burning with a feverish fire. He was almost beginning to rave; a troubled smile wandered over his lips. A terrible powerlessness showed through his agitated state of mind. Sonya realized how he was suffering. Her head, too, was beginning to spin. And he spoke so strangely: one seemed to understand something, but...”but what is it! What is it! Oh, Lord!” And she wrung her hands in despair.

“No, Sonya, that's not it!” he began again, suddenly raising his head, as if an unexpected turn of thought had struck him and aroused him anew. “That's not it! Better...suppose (yes! it's really better this way), suppose that I'm vain, jealous, spiteful, loathsome, vengeful, well...and perhaps also inclined to madness. (Let's have it all at once! There's been talk of madness already, I've noticed!) I just told you I couldn't support myself at the university. But, you know, maybe I could have. Mother would have sent me whatever was needed for the fees; and I could have earned enough for boots, clothes, and bread myself; that's certain! There were lessons; I was being offered fifty kopecks. Razumikhin works! But I turned spiteful and didn't want to. Precisely, I turned spiteful (it's a good phrase!). Then I hid in my corner like a spider. You were in my kennel, you saw it. . . And do you know, Sonya, low ceilings and cramped rooms cramp the soul and mind! Oh, how I hated that kennel! And yet I didn't want to leave it. I purposely didn't want to! For days on end I wouldn't go out, and didn't want to work, and didn't even want to eat, and went on lying there. If Nastasya brought something, I'd eat; if not, the day would go by; I purposely didn't ask, out of spite. At night there was no light; I used to lie in the dark, rather than earn money for candles. I was supposed to be studying, but I sold my books; and on my table, on my papers and notebooks, there's a finger-thick layer of dust even now. I liked to lie and think. And I kept on thinking...And I kept on having such dreams, all sorts of strange dreams, there's no point in telling what they were about! Only at the same time I also began imagining...No, that's not right! Again I'm not telling it right! You see, I kept asking myself then: am I so stupid that, if others are stupid and I know for certain they're stupid, I myself don't want to be smarter? Then I learned, Sonya, that if one waits for everyone to become smarter, it will take too long...And then I also learned that it will never happen, that people will never change, and no one can remake them, and it's not worth the effort! Yes, it's true! It's their law...A law, Sonya! It's true! ... And I know now, Sonya, that he who is firm and strong in mind and spirit will rule over them! He who dares much will be right in their eyes. He who can spit on what is greatest will be their lawgiver, and he who dares the most will be the rightest of all! Thus it has been until now, and thus it will always be. Only a blind man can fail to see it!”

Though Raskolnikov was looking at Sonya as he said this, he was no longer concerned with whether she understood or not. The fever had him wholly in its grip. He was in some sort of gloomy ecstasy. (Indeed, he had not talked with anyone for a very long time!) Sonya understood that this gloomy catechism had become his faith and law.

“Then I realized, Sonya,” he went on ecstatically, “that power is given only to the one who dares to reach down and take it. Here there is one thing, one thing only: one has only to dare! And then a thought took shape in me, for the first time in my life, one that nobody had ever thought before me! Nobody! It suddenly came to me as bright as the sun: how is it that no man before now has dared or dares yet, while passing by all this absurdity, quite simply to take the whole thing by the tail and whisk it off to the devil! I... I wanted to dare, and I killed...I just wanted to dare, Sonya, that's the whole reason!”

“Oh, be still, be still!” cried Sonya, clasping her hands. “You deserted God, and God has stricken you, and given you over to the devil! . . .”

“By the way, Sonya, when I was lying in the dark and imagining it all, was it the devil confounding me, eh?”

“Be still! Don't laugh, blasphemer, you understand nothing, simply nothing! Oh, Lord! Nothing, he understands nothing!”

“Be still, Sonya, I'm not laughing at all, I know myself that a devil was dragging me. Be still, Sonya, be still!” he repeated gloomily and insistently. “I know everything. I thought it all out and whispered it all out when I was lying there in the dark...I argued it all out with myself, to the last little trace, and I know everything, everything! And I was so sick, so sick of all this babble then! I wanted to forget everything and start anew, Sonya, and to stop babbling. Do you really think I went into it headlong, like a fool? No, I went into it like a bright boy, and that's what ruined me! And do you really think I didn't at least know, for example, that since I'd begun questioning and querying myself: do I have the right to have power?—it meant that I do not have the right to have power? Or that if I pose the question: is man a louse?—it means that for me man is not a louse, but that he is a louse for the one to whom it never occurs, who goes straight ahead without any questions...Because, if I tormented myself for so many days: would Napoleon have gone ahead or not?—it means I must already have felt clearly that I was not Napoleon...I endured all, all the torment of all this babble, Sonya, and I longed to shake it all off my back: I wanted to kill without casuistry, Sonya, to kill for myself, for myself alone! I didn't want to lie about it even to myself! It was not to help my mother that I killed—nonsense! I did not kill so that, having obtained means and power, I could become a benefactor of mankind. Nonsense! I simply killed—killed for myself, for myself alone—and whether I would later become anyone's benefactor, or would spend my life like a spider, catching everyone in my web and sucking the life-sap out of everyone, should at that moment have made no difference to me! ... And it was not money above all that I wanted when I killed, Sonya; not money so much as something else...I know all this now...Understand me: perhaps, continuing on that same path, I would never again repeat the murder. There was something else I wanted to know; something else was nudging my arm. I wanted to find out then, and find out quickly, whether I was a louse like all the rest, or a man? Would I be able to step over, or not! Would I dare to reach down and take, or not? Am I a trembling creature, or do I have the right...”

“To kill? The right to kill?” Sonya clasped her hands.

“Ahh, Sonya!” he cried irritably, and was about to make some objection to her, but remained scornfully silent. “Don't interrupt me, Sonya! I wanted to prove only one thing to you: that the devil did drag me there then, but afterwards he explained to me that I had no right to go there, because I'm exactly the same louse as all the rest! He made a mockery of me, and so I've come to you now! Welcome your guest! If I weren't a louse, would I have come to you? Listen: when I went to the old woman that time, I went only to try...You should know that!”

“And you killed! Killed!”

“But how did I kill, really? Is that any way to kill? Is that how one goes about killing, the way I went about it then? Some day I'll tell you how I went about it. . . Was it the old crone I killed? I killed myself, not the old crone! Whopped myself right then and there, forever! ... And it was the devil killed the old crone, not me...Enough, enough, Sonya, enough! Let me be,” he suddenly cried out in convulsive anguish, “let me be!”

He leaned his elbows on his knees and pressed his head with his palms as with a pincers.

“Such suffering!” burst in a painful wail from Sonya.

“Well, what to do now, tell me!” he said, suddenly raising his head and looking at her, his face hideously distorted by despair.

“What to do!” she exclaimed, suddenly jumping up from her place, and her eyes, still full of tears, suddenly flashed. “Stand up!” (She seized him by the shoulder; he rose, looking at her almost in amazement.) “Go now, this minute, stand in the crossroads, bow down, and first kiss the earth you've defiled, then bow to the whole world, on all four sides, and say aloud to everyone: 'I have killed!' Then God will send you life again. Will you go? Will you go?” she kept asking him, all trembling as if in a fit, seizing both his hands, squeezing them tightly in her own, and looking at him with fiery eyes.

He was amazed and even struck by her sudden ecstasy.

“So it's hard labor, is it, Sonya? I must go and denounce myself?” he asked gloomily.

“Accept suffering and redeem yourself by it, that's what you must do.”

“No! I won't go to them, Sonya.”

“And live, how will you live? What will you live with?” Sonya exclaimed. “Is it possible now? How will you talk to your mother? (Oh, and them, what will become of them now!) But what am I saying! You've already abandoned your mother and sister. You have, you've already abandoned them. Oh, Lord!” she cried, “he already knows it all himself! But how, how can one live with no human being! What will become of you now!”

“Don't be a child, Sonya,” he said softly. “How am I guilty before them? Why should I go? What should I tell them? It's all just a phantom...They expend people by the million themselves, and what's more they consider it a virtue. They're cheats and scoundrels, Sonya! ... I won't go. And what should I say: that I killed but didn't dare take the money, that I hid it under a stone?” he added, with a caustic grin. “They'll just laugh at me; they'll say I was a fool not to take it. A coward and a fool! They won't understand a thing, Sonya, not a thing—and they're not worthy to understand. Why should I go? I won't go. Don't be a child, Sonya . . .”

“You'll suffer too much, too much,” she repeated, stretching out her hands to him in desperate supplication.

“Still, maybe I've slapped myself with it,” he remarked gloomily, as if deep in thought, “maybe I'm still a man and not a louse, and was being too quick to condemn myself...I'll still fight.”

A haughty smile was forcing itself to his lips.

“To bear such suffering! And for your whole life, your whole life! . . .”

“I'll get used to it . . .” he said, grimly and pensively. “Listen,” he began after a moment, “enough tears; it's time for business: I came to tell you that they're after me now, trying to catch me . . .”

“Ah!” Sonya cried fearfully.

“So you cry out! You yourself want me to go to hard labor, and now you're afraid? Only here's what: I'm not going to let them get me. I'll still fight them; they won't be able to do anything. They don't have any real evidence. I was in great danger yesterday, I thought I was already ruined, but things got better today. All their evidence is double-ended; I mean, I can turn their accusations in my own favor, understand? And I will, because now I know how it's done...But they'll certainly put me in jail. If it weren't for one incident, they might have put me in today; certainly, they may still even do it today...Only it's nothing, Sonya: I'll sit there, and then they'll let me go...because they don't have one real proof, and they never will, I promise you. And they can't keep anyone behind bars with what they have. Well, enough...I just wanted you to know...I'll try to manage things with my mother and sister somehow so as to reassure them and not frighten them...My sister now seems provided for...so my mother is, too...Well, that's all. Be careful, though. Will you come and visit me when I'm in jail?”

“Oh, I will! I will!”

The two were sitting side by side, sad and crushed, as if they had been washed up alone on a deserted shore after a storm. He looked at Sonya and felt how much of her love was on him, and, strangely, he suddenly felt it heavy and painful to be loved like that. Yes, it was a strange and terrible feeling! On his way to see Sonya, he had felt she was his only hope and his only way out; he had thought he would be able to unload at least part of his torment; but now, suddenly, when her whole heart turned to him, he suddenly felt and realized that he was incomparably more unhappy than he had been before.

“Sonya,” he said, “you'd better not visit me when I'm in jail.”

Sonya did not reply; she was weeping. Several minutes passed.

“Do you have a cross on you?” she suddenly asked unexpectedly, as if suddenly remembering.

At first he did not understand the question.

“You don't, do you? Here, take this cypress one. I have another, a brass one, Lizaveta's. Lizaveta and I exchanged crosses; she gave me her cross, and I gave her my little icon. I'll wear Lizaveta's now, and you can have this one. Take it...it's mine! It's mine!” she insisted. “We'll go to suffer together, and we'll bear the cross together! . . .”

“Give it to me!” said Raskolnikov. He did not want to upset her. But he immediately drew back the hand he had held out to take the cross.

“Not now, Sonya. Better later,” he added, to reassure her.

“Yes, yes, that will be better, better,” she picked up enthusiastically. “When you go to your suffering, then you'll put it on. You'll come to me, I'll put it on you, we'll pray and go.”

At that moment someone knocked three times at the door.

“Sofya Semyonovna, may I come in?” someone's very familiar and polite voice was heard.

Sonya rushed to the door in fear. The blond physiognomy of Mr. Lebezyatnikov peeked into the room.

V

Lebezyatnikov looked alarmed. “I must see you, Sofya Semyonovna. Excuse me...I thought I'd find you here,” he turned suddenly to Raskolnikov, “that is, I thought nothing...of the sort... but I precisely thought... Katerina Ivanovna has gone out of her mind there at our place,” he suddenly said abruptly to Sonya, abandoning Raskolnikov.

Sonya gave a cry.

“That is, it seems so anyway. However...We don't know what to do, that's the thing! She came back...it seems she was thrown out of somewhere, maybe beaten as well... it seems so at least... She ran to see Semyon Zakharych's superior but didn't find him at home; he was out having dinner at some other general's...Imagine, she flew over to where this dinner was...to this other general's, and imagine—she really insisted, she called Semyon Zakharych's superior out and, it seems, away from the table at that. You can imagine what came of it. Naturally, she was chased away; and, according to her, she swore and threw something at him. Which is quite likely... How it happened that she wasn't arrested is beyond me! Now she's telling everyone about it, including Amalia Ivanovna, only it's hard to understand her, she's shouting and thrashing about... Ah, yes: she's saying and shouting that since everyone has abandoned her now, she'll take the children and go into the street with a barrel-organ, and the children will sing and dance, and so will she, and collect money, and stand every day under the general's window...'Let them see,' she says, 'how the noble children of a civil servant are going about begging in the streets!' She beats all the children, and they cry. She's teaching Lenya to sing 'The Little Farm,' and the boy to dance, and Polina Mikhailovna as well; she's tearing up all the clothes, making them some sort of little hats like actors; and she herself is going to carry a basin and bang on it for music...She won't listen to anything...Imagine, you see? It's simply impossible.”

Lebezyatnikov would have gone on longer, but Sonya, who had been listening to him almost without breathing, suddenly snatched her cape and hat and ran out of the room, putting them on as she ran. Raskolnikov went out after her, and Lebezyatnikov after him.

“She's certainly gone mad!” he said to Raskolnikov, as they came out to the street. “I just didn't want to frighten Sofya Semyonovna, so I said 'it seems,' but there isn't any doubt. It's those little knobs they say come out on the brain in consumption; too bad I don't know any medicine. By the way, I tried to convince her, but she won't listen to anything.”

“You told her about the little knobs?”

“I mean, not exactly about the little knobs. Besides, she wouldn't have understood anything. But what I say is this: if one convinces a person logically that he essentially has nothing to cry about, he'll stop crying. That's clear. Or are you convinced that he won't?”

“Life would be too easy that way,” Raskolnikov replied.

“I beg your pardon, I beg your pardon, of course it's quite hard for Katerina Ivanovna to understand, but do you know that in Paris serious experiments have already been performed with regard to the possibility of curing mad people by working through logical conviction alone? A professor there, who died recently, a serious scientist, fancied that such treatment should be possible. His basic idea is that there's no specific disorder in a mad person's organism, but that madness is, so to speak, a logical error, an error of judgment, a mistaken view of things. He would gradually prove his patient wrong, and imagine, they say he achieved results! But since he used showers at the same time, the results of the treatment are, of course, subject to doubt...Or so it seems.”

Raskolnikov had long since stopped listening. Having reached his house, he nodded to Lebezyatnikov and turned in at the gateway. Lebezyatnikov came to his senses, looked around, and ran on.

Raskolnikov walked into his closet and stood in the middle of it. Why had he come back here? He looked around at the shabby, yellowish wallpaper, the dust, his sofa...Some sharp, incessant rapping was coming from the courtyard, as if something, some nail, was being hammered in somewhere...He went to the window, stood on tiptoe, and for a long time, with an extremely attentive look, peered down into the courtyard. But the courtyard was empty; whoever was doing the rapping could not be seen. In the wing to the left, open windows could be seen here and there; pots with scrawny geraniums. Laundry was hanging outside the windows...He knew it all by heart. He turned away and sat down on the sofa.

Never, never before had he felt himself so terribly lonely!

Yes, he felt once again that he might indeed come to hate Sonya, and precisely now, when he had made her more miserable. Why had he gone to her to beg for her tears? Why was it so necessary for him to eat up her life? Oh, meanness!

“I'll stay alone!” he suddenly said resolutely. “And she won't come to the jail!”

After about five minutes, he raised his head and smiled strangely. The thought was a strange one: “Perhaps hard labor would indeed be better,” it had suddenly occurred to him.

He did not remember how long he had been sitting in his room with vague thoughts crowding in his head. Suddenly the door opened and Avdotya Romanovna came in. She stopped first and looked at him from the threshold, as he had done earlier at Sonya's; then she went and sat down on a chair facing him, in the same place as yesterday. He looked at her silently and somehow unthinkingly.

“Don't be angry, brother, I've come only for a moment,” said Dunya. The expression of her face was thoughtful but not stern. Her eyes were clear and gentle. He could see that this one, too, had come to him with love.

“Brother, I know everything now, everything. Dmitri Prokofych has explained and told me everything. You are being persecuted and tormented because of a stupid and odious suspicion...Dmitri Prokofych told me that there isn't any danger and that you needn't take it with such horror. I disagree. I fully understand all the resentment you must feel, and that this indignation may leave its mark forever. That is what I am afraid of. I do not judge and have no right to judge you for abandoning us, and forgive me if I reproached you before. I feel in myself that if I had such a great grief, I, too, would leave everyone. I won't tell mother about this, but I'll talk about you constantly, and I'll tell her, on your behalf, that you will come very soon. Don't suffer over her; I will set her at ease; but don't make her suffer either—come at least once; remember she's your mother! I've come now only to say” (Dunya began to get up) “that in case you should need me for something, or should need... my whole life, or...call me, and I'll come. Good-bye!”

She turned sharply and walked to the door.

“Dunya!” Raskolnikov stopped her, got up, and went to her. “This Razumikhin, Dmitri Prokofych, is a very good man.”

Dunya blushed a little.

“Well?” she asked, after waiting a moment.

“He is a practical man, hard-working, honest, and capable of deep love...Good-bye, Dunya.”

Dunya flushed all over, and then suddenly became alarmed.

“What is it, brother, are we really parting forever, since you're making me...such bequests?”

“Never mind...good-bye . . .”

He turned and walked away from her to the window. She stood, looked at him uneasily, and left in alarm.

No, he was not cold towards her. There had been a moment (the very last) when he had wanted terribly to embrace her tightly, to make it a real farewell, and even to tell her, but he had not even dared to give her his hand.

“She might shudder later when she remembered that I embraced her now; she might say I stole her kiss!

“And will this one endure, or will she not?” he added to himself, after a few minutes. “No, she will not; her kind cannot endure! Her kind can never endure...”

And he thought of Sonya.

There came a breath of fresh air from the window. The light outside was no longer shining so brightly. He suddenly took his cap and went out.

Of course, he could not and did not want to concern himself with his ill condition. But all this ceaseless anxiety and all this horror of the soul could not go without consequences. And if he was not yet lying in real delirium, it was perhaps precisely because this ceaseless inner anxiety still kept him on his feet and conscious, but somehow artificially, for a time.

He wandered aimlessly. The sun was going down. Some particular anguish had begun telling in him lately. There was nothing particularly acute or burning in it; but there came from it a breath of something permanent, eternal, a presentiment of unending years of this cold, deadening anguish, a presentiment of some eternity on “a square foot of space.” This feeling usually began to torment him even more strongly in the evening hours.

“Try keeping yourself from doing something stupid, with these stupid, purely physical ailments that depend only on some sunset! One could wind up going not just to Sonya, but to Dunya!” he muttered hatefully.

Someone called out to him. He turned around. Lebezyatnikov rushed up to him.

“Imagine, I was just at your place, I've been looking for you. Imagine, she carried out her intention and took the children away! Sofya Semyonovna and I had a hard time finding them. She's banging on a frying pan, making the children sing and dance. The children are crying. They stand at intersections and outside of shops. Foolish people are running after them. Come on!”

“And Sonya?...” Raskolnikov asked in alarm, hurrying after Lebezyatnikov.

“Simply in a frenzy. That is, Sofya Semyonovna's not in a frenzy, but Katerina Ivanovna is; however, Sofya Semyonovna's in a frenzy, too. And Katerina Ivanovna is in a complete frenzy. She's gone finally crazy, I tell you. They'll be taken to the police. You can imagine what effect that will have...They're at the canal now, near the------sky Bridge, not far from Sofya Semyonovna's. Nearby.”

At the canal, not very far from the bridge, two houses away from where Sonya lived, a small crowd of people had gathered. Boys and girls especially came running. The hoarse, strained voice of Katerina Ivanovna could already be heard from the bridge. And indeed it was a strange spectacle, capable of attracting the interest of the street public. Katerina Ivanovna, in her old dress, the flannel shawl, and a battered straw hat shoved to one side in an ugly lump, was indeed in a real frenzy. She was tired and short of breath. Her worn-out, consumptive face showed more suffering than ever (besides, a consumptive always looks more sick and disfigured outside, in the sun, than at home), but her agitated state would not leave her, and she was becoming more irritated every moment. She kept rushing to the children, yelling at them, coaxing them, teaching them right there, in front of people, how to dance and what to sing; she would start explaining to them why it was necessary, despair over their slow-wittedness, beat them...Then, before she had finished, she would rush to the public; if she noticed an even slightly well-dressed person stopping to look, she would immediately start explaining to him that this was what the children “of a noble, one might even say aristocratic, house” had been driven to. If she heard laughter or some taunting little remark from the crowd, she would immediately fall upon the impudent ones and start squabbling with them. Some, indeed, were laughing; others were shaking their heads; in general, everyone was curious to see the crazy woman with her frightened children. The frying pan Lebezyatnikov had spoken of was not there; at least Raskolnikov did not see it; but instead of banging on a frying pan, Katerina Ivanovna would begin clapping out the rhythm with her dry palms, making Polechka sing and Lenya and Kolya dance, even beginning to sing along herself, but breaking off each time at the second note with a racking cough, at which she would again fall into despair, curse her cough, and even weep. Most of all it was the frightened tears of Kolya and Lenya that drove her to distraction. There had indeed been an attempt to dress the children up in street-singers' costumes. The boy was wearing a turban of some red and white material, to represent a Turk. No costume could be found for Lenya; all she had was a red knitted worsted hat (or rather nightcap) from the late Semyon Zakharych, with a broken ostrich feather stuck in it that once belonged to Katerina Ivanovna's grandmother and had been kept until now in the trunk as a family curio. Polechka was wearing her usual little dress. Timid and lost, she watched her mother, would not leave her side, hiding her tears, guessing at her mother's madness, and looking around uneasily. The street and the crowd frightened her terribly. Sonya doggedly followed Katerina Ivanovna, weeping and begging her all the while to go back home. But Katerina Ivanovna was implacable.

“Stop, Sonya, stop!” she shouted in a hurried patter, choking and coughing. “You don't know what you're asking, you're like a child! I've already told you I won't go back to that drunken German woman. Let them all, let all of Petersburg see how a gentleman's children go begging, though their father served faithfully and honestly all his life and, one might say, died in service.” (Katerina Ivanovna had already managed to create this fantasy and believe in it blindly.) “Let him see, let that worthless runt of a general see. And how stupid you are, Sonya: what are we going to eat now, tell me? We've preyed upon you enough, I don't want any more of it! Ah, Rodion Romanych, it's you!” she exclaimed, noticing Raskolnikov and rushing to him. “Please explain to this little fool that this is the smartest thing we could do! Even organ-grinders make a living, and we'll be picked out at once, people will see that we're a poor, noble family of orphans, driven into abject poverty, and that runt of a general—he'll lose his position, you'll see! We'll stand under his windows every day, and when the sovereign drives by I'll kneel, push them all forward, and point to them: 'Protect us, father!' He's the father of all orphans, he's merciful, he'll protect us, you'll see, and that runt of a general, he'll...Lenya! Tenez-vous droite!^[124] You, Kolya, are going to dance again now. Why are you whimpering? He's whimpering again! What, what are you afraid of now, you little fool! Lord! What am I to do with them, Rodion Romanych! If you knew how muddleheaded they are! What can one do with the likes of them! ... ”

And, almost weeping herself (which did not hinder her constant, incessant pattering), she pointed to the whimpering children. Raskolnikov tried to persuade her to go back, and even said, hoping to touch her vanity, that it was not proper for her to walk the streets as organ-grinders do, since she was preparing to be the directress of an institute for noble girls . . .

“An institute, ha, ha, ha! Castles in Spain!” cried Katerina Ivanovna, her laughter followed immediately by a fit of coughing. “No, Rodion Romanych, the dream is over! Everyone's abandoned us! And that runt of a general. . . You know, Rodion Romanych, I flung an inkpot at him—it just happened to be standing there, in the anteroom, on the table next to the visitors' book, so I signed my name, flung it at him, and ran away. Oh, vile, vile men! But spit on them; I'll feed mine myself now, I won't bow to anybody! We've tormented her enough.” (She pointed to Sonya.) “Polechka, how much have we collected, show me! What? Just two kopecks? Oh, the villains! They don't give anything, they just run after us with their tongues hanging out! Now, what's that blockhead laughing at?” (She pointed to a man in the crowd.) “It's all because Kolka here is so slow-witted; he's a nuisance! What do you want, Polechka? Speak French to me, parlez-moi français. I've been teaching you, you know several phrases! ... Otherwise how can they tell you're educated children, from a noble family, and not at all like the rest of the organ-grinders; we're not putting on some 'Petrushka' in the street,^[125] we'll sing them a proper romance...Ah, yes! What are we going to sing? You keep interrupting me, and we...you see, Rodion Romanych, we stopped here to choose what to sing—something Kolya can also dance to... because, can you imagine, we haven't prepared anything; we must decide and rehearse it all perfectly, then we'll go to the Nevsky Prospect, where there are many more people of high society, and we'll be noticed at once: Lenya knows 'The Little Farm'...Only it's always 'The Little Farm,' the same 'Little Farm,' everybody sings it! We ought to sing something much more noble...Well, what have you come up with, Polya, you could at least help your mother! Memory, my memory's gone, or I'd have remembered something! We can't sing 'A Hussar Leaning on His Sabre,' really! Ah, let's sing 'Cinq sous' in French. I taught it to you, I know I did. And the main thing is that it's in French, so people will see at once that you're a nobleman's children, and it will be much more moving... Or why not even 'Malborough s'en va-t-en guerre,'^[126] because it's a perfect children's song and they use it as a lullaby in aristocratic houses. 'Malborougb s'en va-t-en guerre, Ne sait quand reviendra...'“ She began singing... “But no, better 'Cinq sous'! Now, Kolya, put your hands on your hips, quickly, and you, Lenya, turn around, too, the opposite way, and Polechka and I will sing and clap along! 'Cinq sous, cinq sous, Pour monter notre ménage...'^[127] Hem, hem, hem!” (And she went off into a fit of coughing.) “Straighten your dress, Polechka, the shoulders are slipping down,” she remarked through her coughing, gasping for breath. “You must behave especially properly and on a fine footing now, so that everyone can see you're noble children. I said then that the bodice ought to be cut longer and made from two lengths. It's all you and your advice, Sonya: 'Shorter, shorter'—and as a result the child's completely disfigured...Ah, what's all this crying, stupid children! Well, Kolya, start, quickly, quickly, quickly—oh, what an unbearable child! . . . 'Cinq sous, cinq sous . . .' Another soldier! Well, what do you want?”

Indeed, a policeman was forcing his way through the crowd. But at the same time a gentleman in a uniform and greatcoat, an imposing official of about fifty with an order around his neck (this last fact rather pleased Katerina Ivanovna, and was not without effect on the policeman), approached and silently gave Katerina Ivanovna a green three-rouble bill. His face expressed genuine compassion. Katerina Ivanovna accepted and bowed to him politely, even ceremoniously.

“I thank you, my dear sir,” she began haughtily. “The reasons that have prompted us... take the money, Polechka. You see, there do exist noble and magnanimous people, who are ready at once to help a poor gentlewoman in misfortune. You see before you, my dear sir, the orphans of a noble family, with, one might even say, the most aristocratic connections...And that runt of a general was sitting there eating grouse...he stamped his foot at me for bothering him...'Your Excellency,' I said, 'protect the orphans, seeing that you knew the late Semyon Zakharych so well,' I said, 'and his own daughter was slandered on the day of his death by the worst of all scoundrels . . .' That soldier again! Protect me!” she cried to the official. “Why won't that soldier leave me alone! We already ran away from one on Meshchanskaya...what business is it of yours, fool!”

“Because it's prohibited in the streets. Kindly stop this outrage.”

“You're the outrageous one! It's the same as going around with a barrel-organ. What business is it of yours?”

“Concerning a barrel-organ, a permit is required for that; and with yourself and your behavior, you're stirring people up, madam. Kindly tell me where you live.”

“What! A permit!” Katerina Ivanovna yelled. “I buried my husband today, what's this about a permit!”

“Madam, madam, calm yourself,” the official tried to begin, “come, I'll take you...It's improper here, in the crowd, you are not well . . .”

“My dear sir, my dear sir, you know nothing!” Katerina Ivanovna shouted. “We'll go to the Nevsky Prospect—Sonya, Sonya! Where is she? She's crying, too! What's the matter with you all! ... Kolya, Lenya, where are you going?” she suddenly cried out in fear. “Oh, stupid children! Kolya, Lenya, but where are they going! . . .”

It so happened that Kolya and Lenya, utterly frightened by the street crowd and the antics of their mad mother, and seeing, finally, a policeman who wanted to take them and lead them off somewhere, suddenly, as if by agreement, seized each other by the hand and broke into a run. Shouting and weeping, poor Katerina Ivanovna rushed after them. It was grotesque and pitiful to see her running, weeping, choking. Sonya and Polechka rushed after her.

“Bring them back, bring them back, Sonya! Oh, stupid, ungrateful children! ... Polya! Catch them...It's for your sake that I . . .”

She stumbled in mid-run and fell.

“She's hurt! She's bleeding! Oh, Lord!” Sonya cried out, bending over her.

Everyone came running, everyone crowded around. Raskolnikov and Lebezyatnikov were among the first to reach her; the official also came quickly, and after him came the policeman as well, having groaned, “Oh, no!” and waved his hand, anticipating that the matter was going to take a troublesome turn.

“Move on! Move on!” he drove away the people who were crowding around.

“She's dying!” someone cried.

“She's lost her mind!” said another.

“God forbid!” one woman said, crossing herself. “Did they catch the lad and the girl? Here they are, the older girl caught them...Little loonies!”

But when they looked closely at Katerina Ivanovna, they saw that she had not injured herself against the stone at all, as Sonya thought, but that the blood staining the pavement was flowing through her mouth from her chest.

“This I know, I've seen it before,” the official murmured to Raskolnikov and Lebezyatnikov. “It's consumption, sir; the blood flows out like that and chokes them. I witnessed it just recently with a relation of mine; about a glass and a half...all at once, sir...Anyway, what can we do; she's dying.”

“Here, here, to my place!” Sonya begged. “I live right here! ... This house, the second one down...To my place, quickly, quickly! . . .” She was rushing from one person to another. “Send for a doctor...Oh, Lord!”

Through the efforts of the official the matter was settled; the policeman even helped to transport Katerina Ivanovna. She was brought to Sonya's room in an almost dead faint and laid on the bed. The bleeding continued, but she seemed to begin to come to her senses. Along with Sonya, Raskolnikov, and Lebezyatnikov, the official and the policeman also entered the room, the latter after dispersing the crowd, some of whom had accompanied them right to the door. Polechka brought Kolya and Lenya in, holding them by their hands; they were trembling and crying. The Kapernaumovs also came from their room: the man himself, lame and one-eyed, of odd appearance, his bristling hair and side-whiskers standing on end; his wife, who somehow looked forever frightened; and several children, with faces frozen in permanent surprise and open mouths. Amidst all this public, Svidrigailov also suddenly appeared. Raskolnikov looked at him in surprise, not understanding where he had come from and not remembering having seen him in the crowd.

There was talk of a doctor and a priest. The official, though he whispered to Raskolnikov that a doctor now seemed superfluous, still ordered one to be sent for. Kapernaumov ran himself.

Meanwhile Katerina Ivanovna recovered her breath, and the bleeding stopped for a while. She looked with pained but intent and penetrating eyes at the pale and trembling Sonya, who was wiping the drops of sweat from her forehead with a handkerchief; finally, she asked to sit up. With help, she sat up on the bed, supported on both sides.

“Where are the children?” she asked, in a weak voice. “Did you bring them, Polya? Oh, you stupid ones! ... Why did you run away...ahh!”

Her withered lips were still all bloody. She moved her eyes, looking around.

“So this is how you live, Sonya! I've never even been here...now is my chance...”

She looked at her with suffering.

“We've sucked you dry, Sonya...Polya, Lenya, Kolya, come here...Well, Sonya, here they all are, take them...I'm handing them over to you...I've had enough! ... The ball is over! Gh-a! ... Lay me back; at least let me die in peace . . .”

They laid her back again on the pillow.

“What? A priest?...No need...Where's your spare rouble?...There are no sins on me! ... God should forgive me anyway...He knows how I've suffered! ... And if He doesn't, He doesn't! . . .”

A restless delirium was taking hold of her more and more. From time to time she gave a start, moved her eyes around, recognized everyone for a moment, but her consciousness would immediately give way to delirium again. Her breathing was hoarse and labored, and it was as if something were gurgling in her throat.

“I said to him, 'Your Excellency! . . .' “ she exclaimed, drawing a breath after each word, “ 'this Amalia Ludwigovna'...ah! Lenya, Kolya! Hands on your hips, quickly, quickly, glissez, glissez, pas de Basque!^[128] Tap your feet...Be a graceful child.

'Du hast Diamanten und Perlen '. . .

How does it go? I wish we could sing . . .

'Du hast die schonsten Augen, Madchen, was willst du mehr?'^[129]

Well, really, I must say! Was willst du mehr—what's he thinking of, the blockhead! ... Ah, yes, here's another:

'In the noonday heat, in a vale of Daghestan' . . .^[130]

Ah, how I loved...I loved that song to the point of adoration, Polechka! ... You know, your father...used to sing it when he was still my fiancé...Oh, those days! ... If only, if only we could sing it! How, how does it go now...I've forgotten...remind me how it goes!” She was extremely agitated and was making an effort to raise herself. Finally, in a terrible, hoarse, straining voice, she began to sing, crying out and choking at every word, with a look of some mounting fear:

“‘In the noonday heat! ... in a vale! ... of Daghestan! ... With a bullet in my breast!' . . .

Your Excellency!” she suddenly screamed in a rending scream, dissolving in tears. “Protect the orphans! Having known the bread and salt of the late Semyon Zakharych! ... One might even say, aristocratic! ... Gh-a!” She gave a sudden start, came to herself, and looked around in some sort of horror, but immediately recognized Sonya. “Sonya, Sonya!” she said meekly and tenderly, as if surprised to see her there in front of her. “Sonya, dear, you're here, too?”

They raised her up again.

“Enough! ... It's time! ... Farewell, hapless girl! ... The nag's been overdriven! ... Too much stra-a-ain!” she cried desperately and hatefully, and her head fell back on the pillow.

She became oblivious again, but this last oblivion did not continue long. Her pale yellow, withered face turned up, her mouth opened, her legs straightened convulsively. She drew a very deep breath and died.

Sonya fell on her corpse, put her arms around her, and lay motionless, her head resting on the deceased woman's withered breast. Polechka fell down at her mother's feet and kissed them, sobbing. Kolya and Lenya, not yet understanding what had happened, but sensing something very awful, seized each other's shoulders and, staring into each other's eyes, suddenly, together, at the same time, opened their mouths and began howling. They were both still in their costumes: he in the turban, she in the nightcap with an ostrich feather.

And how had that “certificate of merit” suddenly turned up on the bed, near Katerina Ivanovna? It was lying right there by the pillow; Raskolnikov saw it.

He walked over to the window. Lebezyatnikov ran up to him.

“She's dead!” Lebezyatnikov said.

“Rodion Romanovich, I have a couple of necessary words for you,” Svidrigailov approached. Lebezyatnikov yielded his place at once and delicately effaced himself. Svidrigailov drew the surprised Raskolnikov still further into the corner.

“All this bother—that is, the funeral and the rest of it—I will take upon myself. It's a matter of money, you know, and, as I told you, I have some to spare. I'll place these two younglings and Polechka in some orphanage, of the better sort, and settle fifteen hundred roubles on each of them, for their coming of age, so that Sofya Semyonovna can be completely at ease. And I'll get her out of the quagmire, because she's a nice girl, isn't she? So, sir, you can tell Avdotya Romanovna that that is how I used her ten thousand.”

“What's the purpose of all this philanthropizing?” asked Raskolnikov.

“Ehh! Such a mistrustful man!” laughed Svidrigailov. “I did tell you I had this money to spare. Well, and simply, humanly speaking, can you not allow it? She wasn't some sort of 'louse,' was she” (he jabbed his finger towards the corner where the deceased woman lay), “like some little old money-lender? Well, you'll agree, well, 'is it, indeed, for Luzhin to live and commit abominations, or for her to die?' And if it weren't for my help, then 'Polechka, for example, will go there, too, the same way . . .’”

He said this with the look of some winking, merry slyness, not taking his eyes off Raskolnikov. Raskolnikov turned pale and cold, hearing the very phrases he had spoken to Sonya. He quickly recoiled and looked wildly at Svidrigailov.

“How d-do you...know?” he whispered, scarcely breathing.

“But I'm staying here, just the other side of the wall, at Madame Resslich's. Kapernaumov is here, and there—Madame Resslich, an ancient and most faithful friend. I'm a neighbor, sir.”

“You?”

“Me,” Svidrigailov went on, heaving with laughter. “And I assure you on my honor, dearest Rodion Romanovich, that you have got me extremely interested. I told you we'd become close, I predicted it— well, and so we have. You'll see what a congenial man I am. You'll see that one can get along with me after all . . .”