Crossroads

Chapter Seventeen

“You sure Mexican’s okay?” Hollis asked as they crossed the parking lot to Casa Ranchero, a low-slung, one-story restaurant painted in bright oranges, greens, and yellows. Annie had been quiet on the short drive. Her subtle withdrawal of her hand when Hollis had casually touched her was obvious too. Hollis wasn’t sure where she’d gone wrong, but she’d pushed some button that had sent Annie backpedaling until they might have been strangers again. She didn’t plan on letting that go on for very long. Annie was hard to figure, and usually Hollis read people pretty easily. So far Annie only seemed comfortable letting her see her professional side—there she was solid and sure, certain of herself and the best treatment for her patients. Hollis had nothing but respect for her, even though they were at odds philosophically. Personally, though, Annie was exactly the opposite—introverted, guarded, and wary. She’d slipped up at the barbecue, revealing things about Callie’s biological father and her past, and now she seemed determined to avoid anything else touching on the personal. Annie had good reasons to be wary—just thinking about the people who had abandoned her made Hollis’s stomach curdle. She knew what it was to lose a huge chunk of her heart, and she’d had a loving family to help her get through the first shock of it. Annie had had no one—just loss upon loss. Hollis hurt to think of Annie in pain.

“Hollis?” Annie said softly. “Something wrong?”

Hollis gave a start and realized she’d slowed until she was barely moving. She shook her head, feeling her face warm. “No, I’m really sorry. My mind wandered there for a minute.”

“I understand. Mine does that a lot lately.” Annie grinned ruefully. “Guess that’s going around too.”

“Well, I promise to stay focused the rest of the night.” Hollis quickly squeezed Annie’s hand but didn’t try to hold it. Annie would have to declare the limits first. But she let go of her anger—Annie didn’t need her anger. Annie probably didn’t need her to fix anything at all, although that was her default setting. It’s all she knew how to do—the only safe thing she could do. “Forgiven?”

“Of course.” Annie reached as if to touch her cheek and then let her hand drop. “You’re allowed one lapse an evening.”

Hollis wanted to grab her hand and tug her close. She wanted to kiss the smile that lingered on Annie’s mouth. “Noted.”

Callie skipped a few feet ahead. “Is it dinner soon?”

“You bet it is.” Laughing, Hollis hustled to the door and held it open for Annie and Callie. She followed them inside and a hostess came forward to greet them.

“No takeout tonight?” The busty twentysomething brunette in a low-cut white ruffled blouse smiled brightly, her dark-eyed gaze glancing briefly over Annie and Callie and settling on Hollis.

“Not tonight.” Hollis stopped by at least once a week to grab a quick takeout dinner, and the brunette—Kristi, with an i, as she’d reminded Hollis on several occasions—was very friendly.

Kristi leaned down and smiled at Callie. “Hi there. That’s a great coloring book you’ve got.”

“It was a present.”

“Well, it’s super. Have fun while you’re waiting for dinner.” She straightened and smiled at Annie before turning pointedly to Hollis. Her mouth lifted flirtatiously. “She’s adorable. Yours?”

Hollis glanced at Annie. “Ah—”

Annie leaned toward Hollis until their shoulders nearly touched. “All ours.”

“Well,” Kristi said, her expression midway between surprised and disbelieving, “let me show you to a table.”

Wending between the tables in Kristi’s wake, Hollis murmured, “Ours?”

“I don’t know what came over me,” Annie muttered, looking straight ahead.

Hollis laughed, pleased. Kristi took them to a booth at a window overlooking the canal that ran through Manayunk, a one-time blue-collar area that had benefited from urban revitalization and now hosted chic restaurants and eclectic stores cheek by jowl with neighborhood bars and coffee shops—the kind with long Formica counters and heavy white ceramic mugs, not the Italian espresso machine types.

“Enjoy your dinner,” Kristi said with one last smile for Hollis as she set the menus in the center of the table.

“I imagine you get that a lot,” Annie said, accepting the menu Hollis held out for her.

“No idea what you’re talking about.”

Annie laughed softly. “I’m sure you haven’t. Any recommendations?”

“Everything’s good. Want to start with nachos?”

“Great idea. You’ll like these, Cal.”

“Okay.” Callie knelt on the seat next to Annie, her coloring book open in front of her and her crayons splayed out beside her plate. She busily colored while Hollis and Annie made small talk. The wait for dinner was comfortable, the conversation light and completely non-work related. Annie asked Hollis about her renovation plans, and when Hollis realized she was monopolizing the conversation she asked Annie what she did for fun.

Annie stroked Callie’s hair. “You’re looking at it. We’ve got after-school events and swimming lessons and—”

“Don’t forget the zoo,” Callie said, pausing in the midst of coloring.

“The zoo…often,” Annie said.

“Sounds like you’re pretty busy.” Hollis noted the absence of any mention of a girlfriend. Welcome news. She also noted Annie seemed to take very little time for herself—her life seemed to be about her patients and her daughter. But then, neither did she, and she didn’t even have a kid to spend time with. She was all about work. Maybe that ought to change. The thought made her uneasy, and excited in a way she hadn’t been since before Rob…since before her family was torn apart and her girlfriend decided she wasn’t any longer. “Okay—tell me one thing you like to do that no one knows.”

Annie stared at her. “That’s rather personal.” Her eyes were dancing, as if daring Hollis to push a little.

“I know.”

“Hmm,” Annie said, tracing the tip of her finger over her lower lip.

Hollis’s breath stopped in her chest.

“I am completely addicted to…”

“Oh, come on,” Hollis groaned.

Annie laughed. “Sons of Anarchy. I tape every show.”

Hollis laughed. Annie was always surprising her. “A secret biker babe, huh? What do you ride?”

“Nothing.” Annie glanced out the window, her gaze growing distant.

“Is that not allowed? By the church, I mean?”

Annie shook her head. “No. Some communities are very progressive about machinery use—especially farm equipment. Motorcycles too. I’ve heard of churches that even have motorcycle groups who worship and ride together.” She glanced at Callie, pain flickering in her eyes. “But that would be for the men. Some wives ride along, I imagine.”

“Well, you don’t strike me as the type who’d be happy being a passenger anyhow.”

Annie turned from the window and regarded Hollis. “Is that what you think? That I like to be in charge?”

“Not that so much,” Hollis said, taking another chance and wondering if she was about to push another hot button. “But I think you’d be happier making your own choices.”

“Well, you’re right there.” Annie took a short, fast breath. “I’d rather be driving.”

“So,” Hollis said, treading carefully. “I happen to have a sweet Harley Street Glide, and I’d be happy to teach you how to ride it.”

Annie’s eyes widened. “Really? Really!”

Hollis laughed, her heart soaring on the wings of Annie’s smile. “Sure. It’s not hard to learn. We’ll find an empty parking lot and I’ll teach you.”

“I don’t know,” Annie said, glancing at Callie, frown lines forming between her brows.

“And the first thing will be a safety lesson.” Hollis reached across the table and took Annie’s hand. “Hey. I wouldn’t take any chances with you. Don’t worry. I wouldn’t let you go out unless I was certain you’d be all right.”

Annie searched Hollis’s face as if looking for what lay beneath. Hollis hoped she couldn’t read the picture that had just popped into her head of Annie—her neck arched, her eyes closed in surrender—or sense the fierce urge she had to see that nothing and no one ever hurt her again. She took her hand away before her trembling betrayed her. “What do you say?”

“Yes.” Annie nodded, certainty erasing the tiny lines in her forehead. “Yes. When?”

“Whenever you want.”

“Good.” Annie nodded. “And then I want leather pants.”

Hollis choked on a mouthful of salsa and grabbed for her water. She gulped down half while struggling to erase the image of Annie in tight leathers straddling her. Not working. Sweat popped on her forehead. Every muscle in her body seized, some of them transmitting extremely pleasurable and highly ill-timed messages.

“Are you all right?” Annie asked.

“Fine,” Hollis wheezed. She wiped her face with the corner of her napkin and forced a smile. “Sorry. Hot—the salsa. You’re serious—you really do want to be a biker babe.”

Annie grinned. “Da—darn right.”

“Well, no point doing anything halfway, right?”

Annie’s met Hollis’s gaze. “No point at all.”

“All right then.” Hollis strove to sound casual while avoiding looking directly at Annie. Her circuits were already overloaded, and no amount of ice water was going to cool her down. “We can use one of the parking lots over at Textile for our training course. Work for you?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Annie said, mentally reviewing her schedule and resolutely not questioning what she was doing. “I have a few patients to see and a home follow-up this weekend, but maybe after that. I could call you—and I’ll make you lunch this time.”

“That would be great. Thanks.”

“Mommy, can I come?” Callie had put her crayons aside as soon as the nachos had arrived and, after demolishing her weight in chips and cheese, declared them her new favorite food. Now her eyelids were beginning to droop. Annie stroked her hair. “Mommy has to learn how to ride first, baby. When you’re bigger, you’ll be able to ride with me.”

“When will I be bigger?”

“Every single day you grow up a little bit more, and before you know it, you’ll be big enough.”

“Will I get my own Harley when I’m bigger?”

Hollis laughed. “Guess she was listening.”

Annie shot Hollis a wry look. “Always, even when you’d swear she was a million miles away.” Annie shifted Callie onto her lap. “First, we’ll get you a bicycle. That will be fun to ride.”

“Okay.” Callie put her head on Annie’s shoulder and closed her eyes. Annie sighed. “Sorry, Hollis. I think I have to get her home.”

“That’s okay.” Hollis signaled to the waitress for a check. “I think she did really well.”

“And I think you’re a really good sport.”

“That’s me.” Hollis grinned. “Besides, it was fun.”

Hollis took care of the check and they got Callie settled in the back of her car. Ten minutes later, Hollis pulled up in front of Annie’s.

“Thanks,” Annie said. “It’s been a while since I went a whole evening not thinking once about work. I had a really good time.”

“Ditto for me, on both counts.” Hollis glanced into the backseat, where Callie slept soundly. “Are you…seeing anyone?”

Annie was glad for the dark because she knew she was blushing. “No.”

“So—” Hollis switched off the engine and shifted on the seat until they faced each other. The twilight closed in around them. “I’d like to change that.”

Annie scrambled for words, a nameless panic welling up in her chest. “I’m flattered. But—”

“Hey.” Hollis held up a hand. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. You don’t have to explain.”

“I’m usually not caught off guard.” Annie frowned. Hollis always did the unexpected. She should have expected it. “We have the work thing to sort out. It’s just not a good idea.”

“Bad timing,” Hollis muttered. “I know. I was telling myself the same thing earlier.”

Annie warmed inside, not from embarrassment but from a ripple of pleasure she could neither deny nor explain. “Really?”

“Yeah. The whole situation is touchy, I get that. I just…” Hollis shrugged. “I haven’t been seeing anyone either. Haven’t been for a long time…well, dates now and then, but… Hell, I’m sounding a little bit like an idiot here, aren’t I?”

“No,” Annie said softly. Hollis had never talked to her about anything personal, and she didn’t want her to stop now. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d wanted to know more about someone, when she wanted the first fragile threads of connection to grow stronger, rather than to disappear. “Maybe we could just do the friends thing.”

“Sure, that’s the smart thing to do,” Hollis said. “Only…”

“Only what? What, Hollis?”

Hollis reached over the space between the bucket seats and plucked a strand of hair away from Annie’s cheek. When she sifted it through her fingers, Annie felt the tiny tug deep inside. She held her breath, unable to look away. Hollis’s face was all she could see. So beautiful.

“I don’t usually want to kiss my friends,” Hollis murmured. She leaned closer, sliding her fingers around the back of Annie’s neck. The slightest pressure from her fingertips drew Annie closer, until the moonlight sparkling in Hollis’s eyes blinded her.

Panic grabbed Annie by the throat. She recognized this feeling—this drowning rush of desire, only so much more than she remembered. Another second and she would be lost. “Hollis, I can’t.”

“Okay.”

Hollis’s breath shimmered against her lips, warm and gentle. Hollis’s fingers loosened and slid along her skin until her hand was gone, leaving Annie’s skin to chill in the hot summer air. Annie shivered.

Hollis sucked in an uneven breath. “Sorry. I’m making a mess of this.”

“No, you’re not,” Annie whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Hollis eased back in her seat, and the silvery strands of their connection snapped and disappeared into the dark.

Annie hurriedly collected her bag from the floor in front of her seat, needing to get out of the car. Needing to get away from her own disappointment and the silence that grew cold and still between them. Unwanted memories warred with resurrected needs, made it hard for her to breathe. She didn’t even know where the feelings came from, but she wanted to run like a night creature sensing danger. “Why don’t we hold off on the motorcycle lessons. We’re both busy.”

“I’ll help you with Callie.” Hollis jumped from the car and came around the other side, opening Annie’s door and then Callie’s. When Annie unbuckled Callie’s car seat, Hollis said, “Let me take her.”

“I can carry her,” Annie said.

“I know, but it’ll be easier for you to get the door.”

Hollis gently lifted Callie. Annie extracted the car seat and hurried up the walk, fishing her keys from her bag, aware of Hollis right behind her, carrying her daughter. She pushed the door wide, dumped her bag and Callie’s toys on the table just inside, and spun around. Hollis stood on the other side of the threshold with everything that mattered to her in her arms. Callie’s head rested in the crook of Hollis’s shoulder, innocent and untroubled as only a sleeping child could be. Hollis’s face shimmered in the moonlight, gentle and strong. Annie held out her arms. “Thank you.”

Hollis passed Callie over. “Thanks for tonight. It was great.”

“It was.”

“I’ll call you about setting up some time at the clinic.” Hollis turned to go.

The door stood open between them. Annie could close it now and retreat into the safety of her life. “Hollis.”

Hollis paused, turned back, her face in shadows.

“I’m seeing one of my new mothers tomorrow morning. Home visit. Are you free?”

“I can be.”

“Maybe you’d like to see what I do.”

“Good idea.”

“I’ll swing by and pick you up, then.” Helplessly, Annie watched the chasm between them grow wider. “Is quarter of eight all right?”

“Sounds perfect. Good night, Annie.” Hollis turned, walked down the steps, got into her car, and drove away.

Annie, her cheek resting against Callie’s silken hair, stood in the open doorway watching until the red taillights winked out. She’d made the right choice, and by morning, when the bright light of sanity dispelled the unnerving spell of Hollis’s touch, she’d believe it.