Deadlocked

Chapter 34

The rain had begun while Mason was visiting Nick, blistering the pavement as he ran across the parking lot. He drove home, his clothing soaked, humidity inside the car fogging the windows. Thunder bellowed and the sky jumped with arcs of lightning. Pea-size pellets of hail snowballed into nickel and quarter-size rounds, bouncing off his car like automatic fire. By the time he pulled into his driveway, the front lawn was salted with hail.

Tuffy ran to greet him when he walked into the kitchen from the garage, planting her front paws on his belt, as afraid of the storm as a small child. He dropped to a knee, hugging the dog, stroking her coat, laughing at her name.

"You're more chicken than dog," he told her.

The wind roared outside, fighting the thunder for domination, muffling the rain as it beat against the house. Thunder exploded like a bomb dropped on his roof, shaking the windows. The interior walls glowed in the shadow of an electric blue lightning bolt, knocking out the power to his house.

The dog stayed close as Mason fumbled in the dark kitchen for a flashlight he kept in a drawer. The question was which one. Mason cursed when he pulled one drawer out too far, dumping the contents at his feet. He found the flashlight in the next drawer, shining it on Tuffy who whined and shoved her wet nose into his hand.

Mason looked out his dining room window at the rest of his block. The streetlights were out and the other houses were dark. Peering between the houses across the street to the next block, he couldn't see any lights. The power failure wasn't his problem alone.

A car crept cautiously down the street, its headlights illuminating the rain that continued to fall in sheets. Mason stepped back into the darkness of the room, remembering the last time he'd watched a car come down his street late at night. This car turned into his driveway, the driver getting out, head covered with a jacket, racing to his front door.

Mason reached the door as the heavy brass knocker on the other side smacked against the strike plate. He pulled the door open, shining the light in his visitor's face.

"Nice night if it doesn't rain," Abby Lieberman said, stepping inside.

Mason lowered the light, the beam catching the water dripping from her coat. He took her hand, drawing her closer. She didn't resist, wrapping her arms around him, Mason holding on, not knowing what else to do. They stood like that, the door still open, the storm blowing past them, until the rain began to puddle at their feet. Tuffy circled them, rubbing against their legs, not willing to be left out of the reunion.

Abby finally let go, easing Mason's arms to her side. She crouched next to Tuffy, brushing back the dog's coat, not minding the paws on her shoulder. Standing again, she took the flashlight from Mason and shined it up and down him.

"At least Tuffy knew to come in out of the rain.

"You're a mess," she said. "What were you doing? she asked, closing the front door.

"I was out late. I got caught in the storm when I went to my car," he said, not wanting to tell her he'd been to see Nick or anything else that might send her away. He didn't know what was safe to say or not say, why she was here or whether she would stay. He was still raw from her sudden departure. Their chance meeting at the hospital had salted the wound, not healed it. He didn't know what to make of her return.

"I drove up from Jefferson City," she said. "We had a fund-raiser there tonight. I couldn't get away any earlier."

"I'm glad you came," Mason said.

"Then why don't you invite me into the living room like a proper guest?" she teased.

Abby aimed the flashlight past Mason into the living room, the dining room table casting a shadow against the wall, the bullet hole in the front window whistling with the wind. She gave Mason a sharp look, aiming the light into the dining room, outlining the rowing machine.

She let out a sigh. "Well, that didn't take too long."

"You said you weren't coming back," Mason answered, trying to keep his tone neutral.

The furniture wasn't important to either one of them. It was what it represented. Life with Abby was orderly and proper. Dining room tables belonged in the dining room. Exercise equipment belonged in the basement. Life with Mason was disorderly. Orderly was predictable and safe. Disorderly was unpredictable and dangerous.

Abby shook her head, the flashlight hanging limply from her hand, spotlighting their feet. She stepped past him, running the light along the wall and up the stairs as if she was retracing her route from when she'd last been there. She sat on the bottom step, knees drawn to her chest. Tuffy lay at her feet.

"I said there wasn't a place for me in your world. That didn't mean we couldn't be together in a different world. One where there's a sofa in the living room and the windows have screens instead of bullet holes."

"I'm sorry if that's the way you see it," he said.

"Is that supposed to be an apology?"

"Would an apology change anything?" he asked.

"Not that one. You're telling me that you're sorry I feel the way I do, not that you're sorry about the choices you've made. I call that an apology with a tail. I'd expect that from Josh Seeley because he's a politician, but not from you."

Her accusation stung, reminding Mason of a judge who increases a defendant's sentence for failing to take responsibilty for his crimes. Conceding her charge, he joined her on the stairs, the flashlight between them. The beam that bounced off the far wall kept them in the shadows.

"Then why did you drive two and a half hours in a monsoon in the middle of the night?"

"You're in trouble," she said. "Did you think I wouldn't come?"

He shook his head. "You told me why you left and nothing's changed, except for the worse. That's not much of a reason to come back. Besides, it's obvious how much Seeley and his campaign mean to you."

Abby leaned back against the wall. "Pour one cup of guilt, mix with equal amount of jealousy, and stir. You don't make this easy."

"I'm not much good at easy," he said.

"Does it matter that I cared enough to drive through the storm in the middle of the night just to make certain you're all right?"

"Not if you don't stay. I'm not a patient in a hospital. I don't need visitors."

Abby sprang to her feet, the heat in her eyes visible even in the dark. She crossed her arms over her heaving chest. "What do you need, Lou? Someone to watch while you destroy yourself? I won't do that."

Mason rose. He wanted to put his arms around her again but she shrank against the wall when he stepped toward her.

"What am I supposed to do? You think I applied for the job of accused murderer?"

Abby chose her words carefully, measuring them as she spoke. "I think you don't care enough about what happens to you, which means you don't care enough about what happens to me or to us."

Mason didn't have an answer. Platitudes about the glory of the law, the duty to protect the innocent rang hollow in his mind. Pleading that he was a victim of events out of his control was weak, stupid, and untrue. No one had held a gun to his head when he said yes to Mary Kowalczyk and to Nick Burns. He had taunted Whitney King, dismissed Sandra Connelly's warnings, and ignored the advice of his own attorney as if he was checking each move off a list of ten things to do to ruin your life. Whatever he truly cared about, it was hard to prove Abby was wrong.

"I didn't mean it to be this way," he said.

Abby came to him and cupped his face with her hands. He held her wrists, feeling them both tremble.

"I love you. That's why I came back."

He lowered her hands, holding them at his sides. "Then stay," he said.

She looked down, tears rolling off her face. Mason raised her chin toward him, his hand caressing her neck, brushing against her scar.

"I can't," she whispered, grabbing his hand, pulling it from her neck, turning up the collar of her jacket, holding it to her throat. "It's why I came back, but it's why I can't stay."

Abby wiped her eyes and opened the door, her back to him.

"I'm innocent," he said.

The wind had died down, the rain slowing to a light shower. The thunder rumbled in the distance, the storm moving on.

"I believe you," she said, walking out without looking back.