IT was a dreary-looking place, mostly a great dusty parking lot with big trucks standing around- tankers, vans, and refrigerator jobs with compressors going, setting up a constant racket, like outboard motors. There was a big sign saying: TRUCKERS DISCOUNTS. The restaurant-cafe, we usually call it in this part of the world-wasn't as bad as it might have been, and there were some surprisingly shiny and expensivelooking cars with out-of-state license plates parked alongside. Somebody once told somebody that the place where the truckers stop is the place to eat, and tourists have been acting on that advice ever since. There may even be something to it.
In back, like poor relations, stood a bunch of little red-and-white clapboard shacks, relics of the days when a tourist cabin was a cabin, not a disembodied hotel room with TV, air-conditioning, and wall-to-wall carpeting. I stuck the Plymouth between an Arizona Chrysler and a California Volkswagen with a little sign on the back: DON'T SQUASH ME-I EAT HARMFUL INSECTS. It reminded me, for some reason, of the little blue Morris I'd encountered in Texas, also with a sign on the back; and I wondered what Mac had Shorty doing these days. I hoped it was something easy, after the rough time I'd given her in San Antonio.
But it was no time to be thinking of the women I'd known except one, and I took the paper-wrapped parcel from the seat beside me, got out of the car, walked along the line of cabins and, reaching the last one, knocked on the door.
Tina opened it. We looked at each other for a moment. She was wearing something that looked like a feminized bull-fighting costume, with a ruffled white shirt and tight, white, embroidered pants ending approximately at the calves of her legs. I was glad she wasn't wearing a pretty dress. As I've mentioned before,, my trousers-resistance is very high. She was making it easy for me;
"Come in, chйri," she said. "You are right on time. Your wife said you might be late."
I went past her into the gloom of the cabin. "I pushed right along," I said, turning to face her as she closed the door behind me. "Kind of a dump," I said, indicating the room.
She moved her shoulders. "One lives where one must. I have spent more time in worse places." She looked up at me and smiled. "What, Eric, no recriminations? Will you not tell me I'm an evil woman?"
"You're a bitch," I said, "but I knew that fifteen years ago. I just made the mistake of forgetting it temporarily."
"I hated to deceive you," she said. "Really I did, Liebchen. I hated to trick you."
"Cut it out," I said. "You loved it. Every bit of it, playing me like a fish on a light leader, getting me to bury your dead and help your getaway, pretending to call up Mac for further instructions, heading me off with a lot of talk about security whenever I started getting nosy… Oh, it was a beautiful snow job, querIda, and you enjoyed every minute of it. And you're enjoying this, too, aren't you? Bringing my family into the act-y~u resent them like hell, don't you, Tina?- and wondering just how I'm explaining all this to my wife."
She smiled. "You make me sound like a terrible person. But it is quite true, of course. I hate them. I hate her. She took you away from me. If it hadn't been for her, you would have come back to find me after the war. We would have been together, and maybe I would never… never have become what I am today."
I said, "A man who questioned me in San Antonio thought the card you showed me was your own."
"He was right," she said. "It is my card, and I am proud of it. There are very few of us who have earned that card. But it does not mean that I would not rather have done something else with my life. But you did not come. And I had to do something."
I asked, "Why did you change sides, Tina?"
"You ask that? Can you think of no reason why I should turn against America and everything American?" She laughed quickly. "No, chйri, I am not a silly, sentimental fool. I do not make the whole world pay for my broken heart. The fact is, I had certain talents, and when there was no longer a war to fight, I sold those talents to the highest bidder, as did many others of your wartime comrades. Ask Mac, he will tell you." She smiled. "I am very good, Eric. I command a very high price these days."
I nodded. "I got that impression." I patted the package under my arm. "This would be part of your price, no doubt."
"What is it?"
"Something you left behind in San Antonio. Nobody seemed to want it, so I brought it along."
"My furs?" She looked pleased. "That was sweet of you. I missed them very much. Put them on the bed… But we are wasting time. You are prepared to cooperate?"
"How?"
She raised her eyebrows. "Is it important? Did you ever ask Mac that question?"
"The circumstances were slightly different."
"Yes," she said. "Then it was only your life that was at stake."
I looked at her for a moment, and said, "Okay. You've made your point. Shoot."
She said, "You yield a little too easily, Eric. Could it be that you hope to be clever in spite of the warning I left at your house?" She waited. I didn't say anything. She said, "You have been followed ever since you left home. We are being watched right now, from a discreet distance. If anything at all should go wrong here, or if I should give a certain signal, the person watching us will go directly to where your little girl is being kept. He has his instructions, and he is not at all sentimental about children. Do you understand?"
I said, "It's clear. Who do I kill?"
She glanced at me quickly. "Do not say that as a joke, my dear. Would I require you for anything else but to kill?" After a moment, she said, "You know the target. I told you his name days ago. Everything I said then was the truth. I merely rearranged the cast of characters slightly." When I didn't speak, she went on: "It was always my intention to use you here in Santa Fe- under the pretense of working for Mac, of course. I was going to be very clever, so that you did not suspect our real purpose until too late. But that girl intervened and delayed the execution of our plan. In a way this is much nicer. Now I can be frank. We want Amos Darrel. dead. You will kill him for us."
There was silence in the little cabin, except for the chattering noise of a compressor unit on a truck parked outside. I looked at Tina thoughtfully, considering her proposition. You'll say it was a ridiculous idea. You'll say no sane person would expect another sane person to go out and kill somebody in cold blood, not even to save a child's life. But then, you didn't fight the war as we did. She was asking nothing really unreasonable, since she was asking it of me. We knew each other very well. I knew she'd do anything to Betsy she considered necessary. And she knew I'd do anything for Betsy I considered necessary-and if I had to do it to Amos, it was just tough on Amos. He wasn't that good a friend of mine.
I asked, "Why me, Tina? You've got experts in your outfit, I'm sure. You're pretty damn expert yourself, as I recall. Why complicate it by dragging strangers off the street to do your dirty work?"
She smiled. "My outfit, as you call it, must not be known to exist. Because of the political repercussions. That is why we prefer to work through local people, when suitable ones are available. Besides, usually they know the ground better. That is particularly true in your case, since you're well acquainted with Dr. Darrel."
I said, deliberately naive, "But I have my home here! You can't just ask me to go out and commit murder!"
She laughed. "Chйri, don't be childish. What is your home to me? Nothing. Less than nothing. It is your problem. If you can do it without being suspected, that will be quite satisfactory to us. If you can't, you will stand trial and go to prison. And you will tell a story of jealousy or hatred or greed, or blind irresistible anger, anything to satisfy the stupid authorities. Because you will know that your wife and children are still vulnerable, and that if your breathe a word of the truth, there will be a knife in the night, or a bullet, a club, or a runaway car… You should not have married, Eric. It puts you at the mercy of ruthless people, people like me."
I said, "That's what you're really after, isn't it, Tina?"
"What do you mean?"
"You're getting your revenge, aren't you? After all these years. It's quite a production. First you take me from my wife, to show you still have the power to do it; and then you turn around and use my children to ruin me. You don't really care whether Amos Darrel lives or dies, not you! After the way this job's gone sour, the people you work for would probably prefer to have you pass it up now, rather than call further attention to their murderous activities. But you can't give it up, because you can't bear to think of me going back to my family and forgetting about you for the second thne. I stood you up once, after the war, and I've got to pay for it."
She was silent for a little; then she sighed. "There is a lot of truth in what you say, but I do not think you're being quite fair."
I said, "Perhaps not. It doesn't really matter, does it?"
"No," she said. "Not now… You know Dr. Darrd quite well, of course, but I have here some data on his habits that may be useful to you. It's up to you, of course, but I'd like to point out that he drives the Los Alamos road every morning and evening. We could supply you with a heavy, fast car. It is a steep and winding road…
I laughed. "Yes, sweetheart, and just how the hell am I going to catch Amos' souped-up Porsche on a steep and winding road in a heavy car? He could outrun a Jag on that hill. And even if I could run him off into the canyon, that little heap is built like a bank vault and he wears a safety belt; he'd bounce like a rubber ball and come up grinning… That's no good."
She said, "You see? That's why I picked you, because you know these things, not just for revenge. Well, choose your own method. I was just hoping you could make it look like an accident, for your sake… Eric?"
"Yes?''
"I asked you once not to hateme. Don't you see? We all do what we have to do. There is no choice."
"No," I said. "No choice at all."
Then I hit her.