Deliver Us From Evil

101

KATIE AND WHIT were treated on the plane by a medical team Frank had brought. When they landed in Boston they were both rushed to a trauma hospital. Shaw, Reggie, and Frank sat in the waiting room for hours, Frank drinking cup after cup of bad vending-machine coffee while Shaw just stared at the floor. The doctors came out to tell them that Whit was fine and would fully recover. Then more hours passed.

Shaw stirred when a tall man and woman walked past the waiting room. It was Katie’s parents. He recognized them from a photo she’d once shown him. They looked both exhausted and frantic. They were with their daughter for an hour before they came back out and into the waiting room.

Shaw remembered that Katie had told him her father was an English professor. He was tall and spare, his hair mostly gray. Katie’s mother looked like her daughter, slim and blonde, same eyes, same way of walking.

Katie’s father said, “They told us that you helped our daughter.” He directed this at Shaw. Shaw could barely lift his head to look at the man. He tried to speak, but couldn’t. He looked back down, his guilt paralyzing him.

“Thank you,” said Katie’s mother.

Shaw still couldn’t look at them.

Sensing what he was going through, Frank rose and escorted the Jameses out of the room, talking to them in a low voice. He came back in later and sat next to Shaw. “I put them in another waiting room. They’re calling the rest of the family.”

Reggie glanced over at him. “How is Katie?”

Frank said, “Still touch and go apparently. They still don’t know the extent of the damage.”

More hours passed. Frank had gotten some food from the cafeteria for them, but only he and Reggie ate any of it. Shaw just kept staring at the floor. Then they saw Katie’s parents come out of the intensive care unit again.

From the looks on their faces the news was good. Katie’s mother came over to Shaw. This time he rose and she hugged him. “She’s going to make it,” the woman said. “She’s out of danger.” This came out in a gush of relief. Her husband shook Shaw’s hand. “I don’t know what really happened, but I do want to thank you with all my heart for helping to save her life.”

After a few more minutes they left to call Katie’s siblings and give them the good news.

Shaw just stood there staring at his feet.

“You did help save her, Shaw,” said Frank.

Shaw waved off his comment with a short thrust of his hand.

Reggie said, “Shaw, you need to go in and see her.”

He shook his head. “No.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t have that right,” he said between gritted teeth. He clenched and unclenched his hands, looked like he wanted to put both fists through the wall. “She almost died because of me. And her parents are thanking me for saving her. It’s not right. None of that is right.”

Reggie gripped his face and turned it so he was forced to look at her. “You need to go and see her.”

“Why?” he said fiercely.

“Because she deserves that.”

Their gazes locked for what seemed like forever. Reggie slowly released him and stepped back.

Shaw moved silently past her and left the waiting room. A few minutes later he was standing next to Katie’s bed. Tubes covered her; machines surrounded her. The nurse told Shaw he only had a minute, then she retreated, leaving them alone. He picked up Katie’s hand, holding it gently.

“I’m sorry, Katie. About a lot of things.”

He knew she was full of pain meds and wasn’t conscious, but he had to say these things. If he didn’t he felt he would combust.

“I shouldn’t have left you in Zurich. I should have come after you sooner in Paris. I…” He faltered, fell silent. “I really, really care about you. And…” The tears started to trickle down his cheeks and he drew a ragged breath, felt sick to his stomach. He bent down and kissed her hand. As soon as he did, he felt her fingers tighten slightly around his hand. He looked at her face. She was still unconscious, but she had squeezed his hand.

He saw the nurse staring at him from the doorway.

“Good-bye, Katie,” he said, finally letting her go.