Die a Stranger

CHAPTER FIVE

The next morning, Jackie didn’t even bother asking me. He could see it on my face. I had a quick breakfast and then I headed out into the day. Sometime during the night it had come to me, that I would get up the next morning and go out and find him. So that’s what I did.

I looked for Vinnie’s black truck wherever I went, starting at the northwest end of the reservation. When I got to the casino, I took a minute to look through the employees’ section of the parking lot. No black truck there, but then I walked through the whole inside of the place anyway.

I drove by Vinnie’s mother’s house. The unofficial command center for the whole rez and yet now it was strangely empty. I parked and looked inside her garage window, picturing the truck there and Vinnie inside the house, maybe looking through old pictures or something. But I didn’t see either.

I knew what I had to do next, but I was already dreading it. I stalled for a few minutes by driving by Buck’s house. He was one of Vinnie’s many second or third or whatever the hell cousins, and a frequent sweat host. The lights were on in the house and there was a beat-up old car in the driveway and an all-terrain vehicle parked in the grass, but when I knocked on the door there was no answer. That’s when I noticed the steam coming from the sweat lodge. I walked around to the entrance. Buck had taken branches and formed them into a semicircle, then he’d taken every old blanket and towel he could find on the entire reservation and stacked them all over the top. There was a small fire pit inside and when he poured water over the hot stones the entire room would fill up with steam. I’d been in it more than once myself, and I knew Vinnie had done his sweat sometime this past week. Sitting in there while Buck put the healing medicines on the stones and feeling the steam fill up his lungs.

It didn’t sound like a lot of fun in the summertime, but when you need your sweat, you need your sweat.

I didn’t want to interrupt anything, but I figured I could be forgiven. I found the one big blanket that served as the doorway and peeked inside. I let in just enough light to see that the lodge was empty, and that the fire was low. Buck was just getting started or just finishing, but either way he wasn’t here at the moment. So I decided I’d come back later. Right now, it was time to go see Vinnie’s sisters again.

Mary LeBlanc Teeple was the older of the two. A little more fair-haired and less classically Indian, and maybe a little quicker to smile at people. Not that it mattered much to me. I knew she didn’t like me that much and she didn’t try real hard to hide it. Never mind that I’d done a few things over the years for her whole family. She seemed to have a short memory when it came to that.

I’d already been there once the day before, of course. Back when I said I was just wondering if Vinnie happened to be around for some lunch. Now I had to go back and tell her I hadn’t seen the man for a day and a half, and that he had missed his first shift back at work. Which was about as un-Vinnie-like as you could imagine.

“I don’t want to alarm you,” I said to her, knowing even as I said it that it’s probably the most alarming thing you could ever hear. “I haven’t seen Vinnie since a couple of days ago, and I’m just trying to make sure he’s okay. Wherever he is.”

“You didn’t say anything about that yesterday.”

“Well, no. Because that was yesterday. He didn’t come back home last night, so I started to get a little worried.”

“Did you check the casino?”

“Yes, I did. He was supposed to be at work yesterday. His first day back.”

“You didn’t mention that, either.”

“I know, I know. I just didn’t want to-” I came to a full stop, amazed at how badly I had done with this in just a matter of seconds. “Look, I know he’s had a tough week. You all have. He probably shouldn’t have gone back to work so soon in the first place.”

“I agree,” she said. “If he lived here, I never would have let him try.”

We were still standing there in the doorway. The kids ran into the house, slipping past us like we were just a pair of obstacles in their great summer game. Mary didn’t even look down at them.

“Look,” I said, “as long as we’re beating up on me, I might as well tell you something else: Vinnie had a lot to drink the other night.”

“My brother doesn’t drink.”

“Yeah, I know. Except maybe when his mother dies.”

I stopped myself again.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I mean your mother. I know it’s been-”

“So you took him out drinking.”

“No, I didn’t. It was his decision. I just kept him company. I was looking after him.”

“Were you drinking with him?”

I hesitated, resisting the urge to say something completely out of line and downright sexist, that her question was the kind of thing only a woman would ask.

“Yes,” I said. “A little bit. Like I said, I was keeping him company.”

“You were keeping him company and drinking with him. And now he’s disappeared. That’s what you came here to tell me.”

“I’m sure he’s fine. I just wanted to know if you’ve heard from him. That’s all.”

“I haven’t. We don’t see that much of him lately. As you know.”

Wow, I thought. A few more minutes of this and I’ll need an ice bag on my face. “If you hear from him, will you have him call me, please? I’ll do the same for you and your sister, I promise.”

“That’s very kind of you,” she said. “I’ll tell Reggie you were thinking of us.”

“That’s okay. I can tell her. I think I’ll go see her right now, too.”

“Oh good, she’ll enjoy that.”

“Listen,” I said, “I mean, come on, Mary.”

“Understand one thing,” she said. “I know it was my brother’s choice to leave the reservation. I don’t blame you for that. I really don’t. But I also know that my brother doesn’t drink alcohol. Ever. Not after what it did to our father. He doesn’t drink, period, end of discussion. So if you’re telling me that this was his choice completely, him just deciding one day to go get drunk… Well, I do not believe you.”

I put up my hands in surrender. I didn’t know what else to say.

“I’ll have him call you if I hear from him,” she said. “I promise.” Then she shut the door in my face.

Well, that was fun, I thought. Now I get to go do it again.

I walked down the street to Regina’s house. Reggie, as her sister called her. She opened the door with the phone in her hand, her sister already briefing her on what was about to come. We had a condensed version of the exact same conversation, with the same punch line. If Vinnie was drinking, it clearly must have been my fault.

Then I got another door shut in my face.

I got back into my truck and spent a full minute just sitting there, my hands tight on the steering wheel. Then I started the engine and took off.

I had one more destination in mind. Up that long hill to Mission Point, the way we came up to the graveyard so Vinnie could talk to his mother one more time. He could be up there again, I told myself. He really could be. Although spending a full day and a half up there seemed a little farfetched.

The place was quiet and empty when I got up there. I stopped the truck and got out, walked over to the overlook, that same view we’d had that night, but brightly lit by the sun now, the lakes below capturing the light and breaking into a thousand little pieces.

“Vinnie,” I said out loud, “where the hell are you?”

It was hours later, the sun gone down, another day nearly out of reach with nothing to show for it. There was a knock on my door. When I opened it, I saw a man in a uniform. I had no idea who he was.

“Mr. McKnight? Can I have a few moments? I’m Chief Benally from the Bay Mills Police Department.”

“Oh, you’re the new man in town,” I said. “Come on in.”

I’d known they had a chief coming in, some high-profile Ojibwa lifer from a tribe out in Wisconsin. This was obviously the man and he did look like he kept his boots shined just right. It’s a strange position, actually, being the chief of a small reservation police department and also being deputized at the county level simultaneously. You have only a handful of officers, and if you arrest someone you have to coordinate with the county and keep the suspect in the holding cells in the Soo. On top of everything else, the community you serve is basically one big extended family, and even your officers are members. I could only imagine how complicated that could get.

I indicated the chairs and offered him something to drink. He declined. He took off his hat and put it on the table in front of him.

“I stopped by Vinnie LeBlanc’s cabin on my way up here,” he said. “Doesn’t look like anybody’s home.”

“No, I haven’t seen him since night before last.”

“So I understand. I had a visit from his sister Mary today.”

“Okay,” I said. “Here we go.”

“She indicated that you and Vinnie were drinking the other night. Is that true?”

It had been a long day and I had already gotten raked over these same coals twice. I was in no mood to make a third trip.

“Chief, please listen to me,” I said. “This isn’t about Vinnie getting drunk, all right? He lost his mother, he wanted to have a drink. And yes, I joined him. I was just keeping him company and looking after him. The only reason I mentioned it to his sisters is because I thought they should know. Obviously a big mistake on my part, because that’s all they seem to care about right now.”

“No, that’s not true. They’re very concerned about their brother missing his shift at work. Apparently this is the first time in several years. Their worst fear is that Vinnie suffered some kind of alcohol poisoning, and that perhaps he left his house and lost consciousness somewhere.”

“Oh, for God’s sake. When Vinnie gets back, I’m gonna have him come see every one of you guys, tell you the whole story. I really can’t wait for that to happen.”

“Well, I hope that happens, too,” the chief said. “I really do. In the meantime, I’ve got all of my men keeping their eyes open. Unless you’ve got any other ideas about where he might be.”

“If I did, I’d tell you.”

“Okay, then. You’ll let me know if something else occurs to you?”

He kept sitting there, just looking at me. I knew the drill, having done it myself a time or two. I looked right back at him.

“I understand you were a police officer yourself,” he finally said. “Back in the day.”

“I was.”

“Chief Maven over in Sault Ste. Marie, he’s got some interesting things to say about you.”

“I’m sure he does.”

“He started out by telling me you were the biggest pain in the ass he’s ever had the misfortune of knowing.”

“I can’t imagine why,” I said, even though I could have spent the rest of the night counting the reasons.

“He also told me you were a big help to him, not that long ago. He says he owes you a favor.”

“Chief Maven said that? Seriously?”

“He did,” Benally said, “which makes me inclined to give you the benefit of the doubt. You’ll let me know if you hear from Vinnie LeBlanc, okay?”

“I will, Chief.”

He stood up and put his hat on, squaring it up just so. He wished me a good night and then he was gone.

The next morning, I rolled by Vinnie’s empty cabin and went down to the Glasgow for breakfast. Jackie had the Soo Evening News from the night before. I sat there and read all about the dead bodies in Newberry. The police still weren’t giving them many details, but drug-related executions don’t happen every day up here. I could only imagine what people would be saying about it all over the county.

“What’s next?” Jackie said to me. “What’s the plan for today?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “If you got any ideas, I’m all ears.”

“Get back out there and look for him.”

“He’s not on the rez. Where else do I start looking?”

“We can’t just sit here.”

“The Bay Mills police are all on alert,” I said. “If he’s around, they’ll find him.”

“Yeah, Indians are good at that sort of thing.”

I looked up to see if he was kidding, but he had already walked away. That’s when I remembered the one loose end from the day before. I got up, went out to the truck, and drove straight to the rez.

I went back to Buck’s house, with the beat-up old car out front and the carefully made sweat lodge in back. I knocked on the front door.

Nobody was answering, but I heard music from somewhere inside. I knocked again. Still no answer.

I walked around to the back of the house, wondering if maybe somebody was getting ready to use the sweat lodge. Kind of early in the day for it, I would have thought, but what the hell. I didn’t see any steam coming from the lodge, but I opened up the flap anyway.

“What’s up, dude?”

The voice came from behind me. I turned around, blinking in the sunlight. I couldn’t make out where the voice was coming from.

“Right here, man! In the hot tub.”

I went up to the back deck. I hadn’t noticed the hot tub the last time around, but here it was. It was big enough for four people at least, about seven-by-seven, and as the man turned a dial the water came to life and started bubbling away like a cauldron. Why you’d need to soak in hot water on one of the few warm days of the year, or for that matter how Buck could drive around in a rolling junk heap and still find a way to buy a hot tub. Yet more of life’s mysteries, but whatever. The man in the water was vaguely familiar in the way all faces here were vaguely familiar, from seeing him in the casino or at the Cozy or just walking down the road. But he definitely wasn’t the man I was looking for.

“Sorry to bother you,” I said. “I’m looking for Buck.”

“Bucky’s not here right now. I just came over to use the tub.”

“I see. Do you know when he’ll be back?”

“No, man, he’s been gone a couple of days.”

“Wait a minute,” I said. “I was here yesterday and he had a sweat going out back.”

“Nah, that wasn’t him. That was me and a couple other guys. He lets us use all his stuff, even when he’s not around.”

The true Indian way, I thought. And as I looked around the rest of the back deck, I saw beer cans and pizza boxes and wadded-up empty potato-chip bags. It looked like the whole neighborhood had been using the back deck as Party Central.

“How long did you say he’s been gone? Two days?”

“About that, yeah.”

“Hasn’t anybody been looking for him? From work or something?”

“No, not really. He was working at the casino for a little while. But then he was at the gas station. I’m not sure he really has a job at the moment. He kinda takes the summer off usually.”

This part of the story was starting to make sense to me. A man like Vinnie, with a steady job, a steady life… If he disappears, people notice right away. But a man like Buck, who’s apparently floating in his own little boat with the motor turned off… No, he’s not gonna have people looking all over for him. Not for a while, anyway.

“He’ll be back eventually,” the man said. “Can I give him a message or something?”

“You really have no idea where he could be right now?”

“Not really. Like I said, if you want to leave a message…”

“No, that’s all right. Thanks for your time.”

I was about to step off the deck. Then I stopped.

“Wait a minute,” I said. “What’s Buck’s last name, anyway? Is it LeBlanc?”

“No, it’s Carrick.”

“And Buck is his real first name?”

“Buck or Bucky. Take your pick.”

I wasn’t sure if that really answered my question, but I let it go. As I went back around to my truck, I ran through everything I knew about Buck. It wasn’t much. I hadn’t even known his last name until a few seconds earlier.

He was bigger than Vinnie. He had that not-really-fat but barrel-chested body you see in a lot of men on the reservation. Usually when they’re more middle-aged, but I imagine Buck was that size when he was a teenager. Beyond that, I knew he lived by himself here, and that this house was sort of the local hangout for guys around his age. Buck was the kind of guy who’d make his sweat lodge a work of perfection, but I’m sure his kitchen would qualify as a toxic-waste site. I remembered seeing him drive around Brimley in that beat-up old car, probably unregistered.

A good guy. A fun guy. A guy you’d love to hang around with even if he wasn’t your cousin. That was Buck. But at the same time, I had to figure he was probably broke most of the time. If he did lay his hands on some money, he’d obviously blow it on something impractical like a hot tub. Either way, he’d be the guy who’d come in your door and sit down at your kitchen table and eat your cereal. He’d wish you a good morning and he’d help you out in a second if you had to move some furniture, but yeah, now that I thought of it, Buck must have represented everything Vinnie had to get away from, that day he made the unforgivable decision to move away from the reservation.

But even now, I knew Buck would do anything for Vinnie. And Vinnie would do anything for Buck. They still had that family bond, something I could appreciate and even marvel at but probably never understand. Not completely.

They’re gone together, I thought. That has to be true.

I just wasn’t sure if this was good news or bad.

The Bay Mills Tribal Police Department is located in the Waishkey Building, right in the center of the reservation. I pulled into the lot and went inside. It was a small enough place that I could see through into Chief Benally’s office. He was sitting there at his desk and he looked up when he heard the front door open.

“Mr. McKnight,” he said, getting up. “Good to see you again.”

I let the sentiment, real or not, sail right by me. “Vinnie’s cousin Buck is missing, too,” I said. “They both disappeared around the same time.”

“Bucky Carrick, you’re talking about?”

“Yes.”

He ran this around in his head for a moment. He had both hands resting on his belt, the classic cop pose.

“How did you come to find this out?” he said.

“I went by, looking for him. The guy who was staying there said he’s been gone for two days. Doesn’t know where he is.”

“Well, we’ve had an eye out for Vinnie today. Guess I should add Buck to the list, huh? You’re thinking they’re together?”

“It would be a big coincidence if they’re not.”

He nodded. The way he was standing there, not quite at ease, his body language saying, You don’t really belong here, even if you come with useful news.

“Look, it’s been a strange couple of days,” I said. “And speaking of coincidences…”

“The business at the airport,” he said, with no hesitation at all. He was already thinking the same thing. “That’s the other coincidence.”

“In Vinnie’s case, I know there can’t be any kind of connection. Even with Buck, I mean, I don’t know him that well at all, but he doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who’d do anything more than just smoke a joint now and then.”

I knew it was probably more often than now and then, but I wasn’t going to get into that. The Ojibwa had their own views about tobacco, how it was part of the land, one of the four sacred medicines. Cigarettes weren’t frowned upon around here, not nearly as much as in the general public, and I had to figure that extended to other things you could smoke, as well.

But that was still a world away from gunning down drug dealers and hijacking their shipments.

“No, I’m sure you’re right,” the chief said. “But it does make you wonder just what the hell’s going on around here.”

“Yeah, well, I just wanted to let you know about Buck. That’s all I had.”

“I appreciate it, Mr. McKnight. Why don’t you let us take it from here now? We’ll have our officers looking out for them, like I said. We’ll put in some calls to the other reservations in the state, in case they’re both off visiting somebody.”

“Okay,” I said. “That makes sense.”

“Okay, then. Yes. Thank you.”

I left the place. I got back into my truck and drove off the reservation. These past couple of days, I was really feeling like a stranger here. You forget about it for a while, but then a few things happen and people say things to you in a certain way, and it all adds up. You may be welcome here, but at the end of the day, you’re not part of this. You never have been and you never will be.

Back to Paradise for the rest of another long day. Dinner at the Glasgow. Jackie fussing with things at the bar and clearly more worried than he would admit.

They went on a trip, I told him. Vinnie and his cousin Buck. They got into his truck and drove somewhere to see somebody. Somebody we don’t know. They didn’t tell anyone because it didn’t even occur to them. When they get back, they’ll be surprised we let ourselves get this worked up about it. In the end, we’ll even laugh about it.

That’s what I told Jackie. That’s what I told myself.

It was late when I drove back up my road, past Vinnie’s cabin. Dark and empty. I went into my own cabin, got undressed, and lay down on the bed. I tried to sleep.

I was just dozing off into some sort of half dream when a knock on my front door jarred me awake. It took me a second to find my bearings. I got up, put on some clothes, and went to the door.

When I opened it, I saw Chief Benally standing there. He was holding his hat in his hands, and in that one instant I flashed back to my own time as a cop and how I’d felt compelled to take my hat off while I was standing on a doorstep in Detroit, waiting to deliver the worst news imaginable.

“Chief, what’s going on?”

“Sorry to bother you again. Can I come in?”

I backed up and he stepped inside. He’d been here the night before, so I didn’t have to point out where the furniture was.

“Mr. McKnight, have a seat,” he said. “I need to tell you something.”

I sat down and waited for him to take the chair across from me. I was already anticipating his words. I was wondering exactly how he’d say it. Would he give me the preamble and ask me to prepare myself? Or would he launch right into it? Vinnie LeBlanc’s body was just found about an hour ago…

“Before I say anything,” he said, “I have to ask you something.”

“Okay…”

“What I’m about to tell you must remain in complete confidence. At least for the time being.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m asking you to promise me that nothing said here will leave this room.”

“I promise,” I said. “But what-”

“We heard from Vinnie. He’s with Buck, and apparently they’re all right. So obviously that’s good news.”

“Wait. How did you hear from him? Where are they?”

“Well, that’s the strange thing about this. You see, all he did was leave a message on the voice mail at the station. He said they were fine and that they’d try to call back again later. He didn’t say where they were.”

“Come on, Chief, he had to say something else. Nothing about why they left? Or when they’d be back? Or anything?”

“Well, he did ask me to let his sisters know that they were okay. So I’ve just been to see both of them. To let them know. Even though it’s a pretty vague message, I realize. And then of course he also mentioned you.”

“He mentioned me.”

“He did, yes. Tell my sisters. Tell Alex. We’re both okay. We’ll be back as soon as we can. Don’t worry.”

“That’s it. That’s all he said.”

“Yes, and because he mentioned you specifically, I made a point to come and tell you.”

“Because if it was just up to you, I’d still be in the dark, right?”

“You’re not being fair now. I would have told you.”

“Okay, so then why the big secret?” I said. “If they’re okay, why can’t I tell anyone else?”

“It’s kind of a delicate situation right now. With this business at the airport and all. Them disappearing the same night.”

“So it’s definitely connected.”

“I don’t know that for sure. Nobody does. But I think we need to keep a lid on things until we can get them back home.”

“Meaning that they’re definitely not okay. That’s what you’re really telling me.”

“No. You’ve got this all wrong.”

“Tell me the truth,” I said, staring him straight in the eyes. “Where are they and what the hell is going on?”

He stared straight back at me. “I honestly don’t know where they are,” he said. “All I know is that they’re safe, and… Well, I think somebody is helping them.”

He put his hand up before I could speak.

“I don’t know exactly who is helping them. I’m not going to speculate. But I think I heard a voice in the background. Somebody who didn’t sound like Buck. That’s all I can say right now. When I know something else for sure, I’ll tell you. I promise.”

I leaned back in my chair. I wasn’t sure what else to say.

“Look, you’re an ex-cop,” he said.

“Yes. Long time ago.”

“Doesn’t matter how long, you still think like a cop. I get that. Believe me, I’ll probably be the same way myself when I finally hang it up. But right now, I need you to stay here close to home, and to keep your eyes and ears open. Are we clear?”

“I’m not sure what I’m gonna see or hear. Aside from Vinnie’s truck coming up that road…”

“I’m dead serious, Mr. McKnight. If you see anything suspicious. Somebody you’ve never seen before. You know, just nosing around maybe.”

“Nosing around.”

“Yes. Nosing around. You see somebody like that, I need you to call me.”

“Chief, who are we talking about that would be-”

I stopped myself. I waved it away and made myself take a breath.

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll call you if I see anything unusual.”

“Thank you. I’m going to go now. For right now, I’m afraid all we can do is wait.”

He got up. He shook my hand. He put his hat back on and then he left.

I went outside and stood there in the night air. I listened to him drive away. That word still ringing in my ears. Wait. My least favorite word ever.

“Vinnie LeBlanc,” I said. “Wherever you are, you might want to think about staying there. Because the next time I see you I’m going to kick your ass.”