Distortions

It’s Just Another Day in Big Bear City, California

Spaceship, flying saucer, an hallucination … they don’t know yet. They don’t even notice it until it is almost over their car. Estelle, who has recently gone back to college, is studying Mortuary Science. Her husband, Alvin William “Big Bear” Benton, is so drunk from the party they have just left that he wouldn’t notice if it were Estelle, risen from the passenger seat, up in the sky. Maybe that’s where she’d like to be — floating in the sky. Or in the morgue with bodies. Big Bear Benton thinks she is completely nuts, and people who are nuts can do anything. Will do anything. Will go back to school after ten years and study Mortuary Science. It’s enough to make him get drunk at parties. They used to ask his wife about the children at these parties, but now they ask, subtly, about the bodies. They are more interested in dead bodies than his two children. So is Estelle. He is not interested in anything, according to his wife, except going to parties and getting drunk.

Spaceship, flying saucer, an hallucination … Big Bear concentrates on the object and tells himself that he is just hallucinating. There is a pinpoint of light, actually a spot of light about the size of a tennis ball, dropping through space. Then it is the size of a football … he is trying to think it is a real object, no matter what it is doing up there … but maybe it’s a flying saucer. Or a spaceship. He looks at Estelle, who is also drunk. She is staring at her hands, neatly folded on her lap. Those hands roam around in dead bodies the way coyotes roam around the desert — just for something to do. This is the first time he has ever been glad to concentrate on Mortuary Science. Like reading the stock pages in the bathroom.

“What is that?” Big Bear says, fighting to stay calm.

“Well, you know what it looks like,” Estelle says. “It looks like a spaceship.”

“Yeah, I know. But what is it really?”

Now that Estelle is becoming educated and urbane, he has become more childish. He is always asking questions.

“I don’t know. It’s a spaceship come to take us to Mars.”

Big Bear begins to worry about the car being blown over. The car is a 1965 Peugeot, a real piece of crap that Big Bear would have gotten rid of long ago if it had not belonged to his wife’s brother, who died in Viet Nam. His wife won’t hear of getting rid of the car. She has some of her brother’s underwear that she won’t take out of the drawer. It’s in Big Bear’s drawer, in fact — not hers — and her reason for that is that it’s men’s underwear. But her brother’s car is done for now, because the wind is going to blow it over and mash the roof.

“What’s going on?” Big Bear yells to Estelle. It comes out a whisper. It occurs to Big Bear that this is some kind of joke. He would discuss with Estelle the possibility of the people at the party pulling a joke on them, but it’s too noisy to converse. Through the windstorm he hears, “Earthlings! We are visitors from a friendly planet” and wets his pants.

*

Big Bear hears Estelle in the kitchen, memorizing: “The heart is a hollow muscular pump surrounded by the pericardium.…” Just by the tone of her voice, he understands that there is no hope for the human body. His two children, Sammy and David, stand around the kitchen eating cookies and listening to their mother. They like it better than talking to Big Bear, which makes him brood. His children are interested in intestines, the liver, bones, tissue, the optic nerve. It makes Big Bear sick just to think about it. If he could think of an excuse to stop giving Sammy and David an allowance, he would.

Big Bear tilts back his La-Z-Boy reclining chair and examines his feet, which block his view of the television.

*

Big Bear gives his wife a valentine, shyly. He thinks that the saleswoman might have been making a fool of him when she told him that the huge card with the quilted taffeta heart and embossed cupids would get across his message best. The card cost two dollars and fifty cents. The woman was young and had aviator glasses and an ironic smile. He prides himself in knowing women, but lately he doesn’t trust any of them. Imagine Estelle enrolling in college, signing up for Mortuary Science. “Oh, this is lovely,” she said when Big Bear gave her the valentine. He didn’t want to mess it up in case there was something she could do with the card, so he just wrote his name on a little piece of paper and tucked it in the card. It falls out when Estelle opens it. He is standing right in front of her — she knows who it’s from — why did he even put the piece of paper in? She picks it up. “Love, Bear,” it says. “Oh, this is lovely,” she says. Valentine’s Day is not one of Big Bear’s favorite occasions. He always feels like a fool. His wife did not give him a valentine. She forgot, she says. But she doesn’t forget about the pericardium that surrounds that hollow muscular pump that no longer beats with love for him.

*

“Roll up your window,” Big Bear says. Estelle is rolling down her window. She is rolling it down to throw her cigarette away. A spaceship has landed in front of their Peugeot and she is rolling down her window.

“Earthlings! Like you, we have ears, but they are very sensitive. We can hear what you are saying and do not want you to be afraid.”

Big Bear stares. A round dome that seems to be made of something soft — foam rubber? — bobs slightly in front of them. The thing covers the whole road.

“We also read minds. There are three of us, and two of us speak English.”

“Oh, holy shit!” Big Bear says. “Estelle?”

She has rolled the window down and is letting the smoke from another cigarette she just lit blow out of the car.

“We will leave our spaceship, Bill and Estelle. Please do not worry.”

“God almighty,” Big Bear says. “Roll it up, Estelle.”

“What does it matter?” Estelle says. Big Bear reaches across her lap and rolls up the window. The car is still running, his foot is still on the brake. He thinks about trying to get around the spaceship. There is no way to get around it without driving into a marsh. Big Bear throws the car into reverse and starts backward, but when he does that a wind stops the car and slowly pulls it forward again.

“Please get out of your car,” the voice says.

There is a man standing in the road. He has on a shirt and a pair of slacks. His face is red. He waves.

“Come on,” Estelle says.

“Stay in the car, Estelle.”

“We need pictures of both of you,” the voice says.

Big Bear’s pants are wet. He cringes. Estelle has left the car and is walking toward the red-faced man. He thinks about stepping on the gas and crushing her, running into her from behind, not letting her have her way.

“Estelle?” he says to the empty seat.

“Please get out,” the voice says.

“I’m not getting out,” Big Bear says.

“We must have pictures. There are twenty exposures on the roll.”

“What do you need pictures for?”

“To take back, Bill. They sent us for pictures.”

“What are they going to do with the pictures?”

“I don’t know. I just take the pictures.”

Big Bear rubs his hand over his face. “I will never drink again,” he says. “Estelle?” he says.

“This is a random landing. We’ll never see you again. We need twenty pictures, and we would like to be your friends before we leave. Please get out of the car.”

Estelle is talking to the man. He rolls down his window and puts his head out. It smells damp. There is a lot of fog. The lights have been turned out on the spaceship, and it is hard to tell just how large it is. It looked huge in the sky over the car, but it doesn’t look that big now. Just big enough to block the road. Big Bear puts the car in reverse again. Just as before, a stream of air draws him forward.

“We found you by accident. You’ll do fine for the pictures, though. If you’ll please get out.”

Big Bear wants to go home and go to sleep. Big Bear wants to go home to throw away all his liquor. He wants his children. His children!

“What are you going to do to me?” he asks again.

“Take your picture,” the man says.

Disgusted, Big Bear opens the door and gets out. He walks forward. The man shakes his hand and introduces himself as Bobby. Estelle smiles at him.

“You’re drunk,” Big Bear says to Estelle.

“That’s okay,” the man says. “If you two could stand by your car?”

Big Bear doesn’t want to turn his back on the man.

“The other ones?” Big Bear asks.

“Donald is playing a game inside. He’s tired of coming to Earth.”

“What game?” Big Bear asks suspiciously, not sure why he’s suspicious.

“Scrabble. He was worried about using the word ‘toque.’ That’s a foreign word, isn’t it?”

“Toe?”

“Toque.”

“I’m drunk as a skunk,” Big Bear says.

*

“Bear, you’ll never make it.”

“We’ll make it.”

“Why should you even try to make it?” Laura says. Laura is the wife of the man whose party Big Bear and Estelle have attended.

“Big Bear can make it!” Big Bear yells.

“You’re a big oaf,” Laura says, and walks away. That leaves her husband to get their coats.

“If we don’t make it, I’ll end up the same place I’d be working tomorrow anyway,” Estelle says. Estelle is more drunk than Big Bear, and Big Bear is focusing on his feet to stay alert.

“What are you ashamed of?” Estelle asks Big Bear.

“Nothing. What are you talking about?” He fears that another one of her honesty sessions is coming on — a talk about how she wishes she had never married him or had children.

“You’re staring at the floor, Bear. What’s the matter with you?”

“He’s drunk,” their host says good-naturedly. Big Bear and Paul, their host, were in the service together. It was Paul’s idea to keep calling him Big Bear when they got back to America. In Japan, a geisha came up with the name. Laura will have no part of it. She calls him Alvin. Big Bear holds Estelle’s coat, happy to get away from the party.

The Peugeot is parked in Paul’s driveway. Death. Death everywhere. Japan, Viet Nam, Mortuary Science.

“What’s the matter with you, Bear?” Estelle asks. “You’re not really too drunk to drive, are you?”

*

“Daddy! Did you know that there was a Big Bear City in California?”

“No.”

“I found out in geography. My teacher said to ask if it was named for you.”

“I’ve never met your teacher. How did she know I was called Big Bear?”

“I told her.”

“Well, stop telling everybody. That’s just a joke, you know.”

“But that’s what everybody calls you.”

“Go watch TV or something.”

“What are you two talking about?” Estelle calls from the kitchen.

“Geography,” Big Bear answers.

“Mom, there’s a place called Big Bear City in California.”

“I don’t want to hear any more about it,” Big Bear says.

“What are you so grumpy about?” Estelle asks, standing in the kitchen doorway. “You’re as grumpy as a bear.”

“Oh, come off it. You two leave me alone.”

“Why is that always what you want? Why can’t anybody talk to you?” Estelle says.

“Leave me alone,” Big Bear says, and tilts himself out of view in his La-Z-Boy reclining chair.

*

“I thought jumping rope with the intestine was a joke,” Estelle says. “That’s not what you’re doing, is it? It’s not really an intestine?”

“No, there are no cows on Mars, so we consider your milk a delicacy. We have alcohol. Juniper berries grow in profusion. It’s really very pretty, all the bushes, in addition to the gin it produces.”

“Are they coming out?” Big Bear asks, nodding toward the spaceship.

“We’ve been on so many missions that they just don’t care any more.”

“What do they come for, then?”

“There has to be a certain number aboard.”

“What for?”

“I never asked. We keep busy, though.”

“What do you do?”

“Well, Donald likes to play games. He got some jigsaw puzzles the last time we were here, and he never tires of that, particularly a round puzzle that’s a pizza.”

“He just plays games?”

“They drink milk if we stop for it. We have to stop in the woods, of course, and there usually aren’t any stores. They loved Maine. There were stores in the middle of nowhere.”

“We love Maine,” Estelle says.

“It’s awfully nice,” the spaceman says.

“Are you going to take more pictures?” Big Bear asks.

“I’m just trying to think … where would be a good spot?”

“Can’t we just stand by the car?”

“I think they’ll want variety.”

Estelle smiles. “Would you like me to take off my clothes?” she asks.

“She’s kidding,” Big Bear says.

“I thought we’d take those later,” the spaceman says.

“We’re not taking our clothes off,” Big Bear says.

“I’ll put you under a spell, Bill,” the spaceman says.

“You can’t put me under any spell.”

“Please try not to be hostile. I personally have no interest in taking nude photographs.”

“Then let’s leave that crap out.”

“I can’t leave it out. They said to get some.”

“Tell them it was foggy and it didn’t turn out”

“I’ll undress,” Estelle says.

“Don’t you think it’s a little cold for nude posing?” Big Bear says.

“Yes,” the spaceman says. “Maybe we should go to your place.”

*

Sleep soundly, sweet ones. Don’t wake up and want water, or you might see the spacemen in the kitchen. You don’t like it when your brother plays with your special toys … how would you like it if a spaceman was tapping pegs through holes and squares through squares? You wouldn’t like it. It’s good you’re a sound sleeper. One of the spacemen is in the bathroom. Imagine walking into the bathroom and seeing a spaceman urinating.

*

“I said I’m not too drunk to drive, and I’m not.”

“You’re no judge. Laura is probably right.”

“Side with me. I’m your husband.”

“In effect I am siding with you. If you had an accident …”

“Big Bear doesn’t have accidents.”

“like John Wayne?”

“What are you taunting me for? You want to get home or don’t you?”

“It might be better if I drove.”

“It might be better, but you’re not going to do it.”

“All right. But drive slowly. There’s so much fog.”

“This piece of crap car isn’t helping us any. The thing’s so light, a wind would blow it over. When are you going to give up and let me turn it in for another one?”

“I thought flashy cars didn’t matter to you.”

“What did I say about flash? I just said a car — a decent car.”

“This is a decent car. It was driven by my brother before he died in that horrible war.”

“Where did you get his underwear from in the first place?”

“I don’t want to talk about my brother.”

“I don’t want that underwear in my drawer. Where the hell did you get your brother’s underwear?”

“Where do you think? From his drawer.”

“Well, why did you take that, if it isn’t prying?”

“It’s not as though I just took that”

“What else did you take?”

“I took his things. I don’t want to talk about my brother, Bear.”

“What things? Tell me or I’m not going to pull out of the driveway, and Laura can wave and scowl all night.”

“I took shirts and sweaters. Satisfied?”

The car pulls out of the driveway. Big Bear despises the car.

“Why haven’t I ever seen them?”

“I put them away for the boys.”

“They don’t want your brother’s stuff. By the time it fits them they wouldn’t wear anything that unfashionable.”

“I am not aware of radical style changes in men’s sweaters.”

“I want the underwear to go! You keep the shirts, I’ll throw out the underwear.”

“You keep your hands off my brother’s things.”

“You put it in my drawer and order me not to touch it. Why didn’t you put it in your own damn drawer?”

“It makes me sad.”

“Then get rid of it.”

“Can we please talk about something else? I thought you liked my brother.”

“I didn’t have anything against your brother, but I don’t want his underwear in my drawer.”

“If you keep driving this fast, you’ll die before it can be removed.”

“Don’t change the subject. The subject is underwear. You can keep it under your pillow if you want, but get it out of my drawer.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I don’t feel guilty,” Big Bear says. “Nobody would put up with that.”

In front of their car something hovers in the sky, but it’s too close to be a plane. It’s shapeless, which is funny, because it’s close enough to figure out a shape. A mound. A mound?

“What’s that?” Big Bear asks.

“Maybe we should get the uncomfortable pictures over with, and then we could take a few more by the car, or over there.”

“Oh, cut it out,” Big Bear says. “No nudie shots.”

“I’m a family man, too, Bill. I’d like to just simplify matters and get home to my family. Could you drop your pants?”

“No.”

Estelle is unbuttoning her coat.

“No,” Big Bear says to her, and grabs her hand. She tries to get it away from him.

Estelle is shrugging her dress down, smiling at the spaceman.

The camera clicks.

“How old are your children?” she asks.

“That’s enough!” Big Bear says. “Can we go home?”

“I’d like the others, and then you can go on your way.”

“It’s too God damn cold,” Big Bear says.

“Let’s take them to our place, Bear. We could give them milk and they could take the other pictures.”

“That would be fine,” the spaceman says.

“You’re not invited,” Big Bear says.

“I was just invited.” The spaceman smiles politely. “I’ll get the others.”

“I thought they had to stay with the ship.”

“I’m doing you a favor, Bill. Would you rather stay here longer?”

Big Bear shivers. What if Sammy and David drank the last of the milk.

*

The other spacemen are named Donald and Fred. There is something wrong with Fred; his wrists are bent funny, and his mouth wrinkles when he tries to smile, which is all of the time. “He’s retarded,” Donald says. Good God, Big Bear thinks. Won’t Fred hear Donald?

“We’ve been stuck with him on the last seven missions,” Donald says.

They are walking up Big Bear’s front walk. They are inside the house. The babysitter has gone to sleep in the spare bedroom. She turned off all the lights. Big Bear can’t see. Donald has a flashlight. He turns it on.

“Thanks,” Big Bear says.

He heads for the light switch. Fred, it seems, is not only retarded, but violent. He struggles with Donald and wins. Fred has the flashlight. He pokes it into his mouth. His cheeks light up. No one tries to take the flashlight away from Fred. “I’ve had it up to here with him,” Donald says, but no one tries to get the flashlight. Big Bear has located the light switch, so it’s okay. Sort of okay. Fred’s cheeks are orange.

*

“Did you know that this was called mooning in the sixties? College kids did it.”

The spaceman snaps away. Estelle is making a fool of herself.

*

“What are you going to bring me, Daddy?” the spaceman’s son asks.

“You’re greedy.”

“What are you going to bring me?”

“What do you want?”

“More goldfish.”

“The damn things die. I bring them all the way back and they’re dead in a week.”

“I told you. That’s because I need a real aquarium with a pump and a filter.”

“It’s too much trouble to bring the things back. Isn’t there something else I could bring you?”

“No. I want that.”

“I’ll do it if I have time. You can’t just buy goldfish everywhere.”

“Go where you can get them.”

“This is my mission, kid. Okay?”

“When are you going to take me with you?”

“When you grow up.”

“I am grown up.”

“Grownups don’t want goldfish.”

*

“How did it go in the morgue, Estelle?”

“Fine,” Estelle says.

“Did you cut up dead bodies?”

Estelle comes into the living room. She can hardly wait to see if Big Bear is drunk. Estelle stares at Big Bear, who is reclining in his La-Z-Boy reclining chair. She sees that he is reclining because he is drunk.

“I thought you were going to Pete’s party tonight.”

“We were both going.”

“That’s what I said,” Estelle says.

“But now we’re not both going,” Big Bear grins. “We’re not going anywhere.”

“I know!” Estelle cries. She doubles over, as though somebody just passed her a football.

“Jesus Christ,” Big Bear says. “I didn’t know you wanted to go to Pete’s. I’m not so drunk we can’t go. Stand up, for Christ’s sake. What’s the matter with you, Estelle?”

*

“I hate not to be the perfect host,” Big Bear says to the spacemen. “But tomorrow is another day and …”

They seem not to have understood. If they smoked, Big Bear could empty the ashtrays.

“To be honest with you,” Big Bear says, although none of the spacemen seem interested, “we’ve had a big night and it’s about time for you to go.”

“The disgusting thing,” Donald says. “Blowing bubbles in his milk.”

“We’re all out of milk, now, Bobby. It’s about time for you to go,” Big Bear says.

“I hope he falls over and we can just leave him,” Donald says.

Fred has thrown a glass of milk against the wall. The glass was soft plastic, so it just bounced. The sound wasn’t loud enough to awaken Sammy and David. Estelle finds herself looking on the bright side of the spaceman’s little faux pas.

*

At a gas station in Big Bear City, California, a little boy gets out of his mother’s car to buy a soft drink.

*

Laura takes Big Bear’s coat. She turns to look at Big Bear as he walks away. I hope he picks the hors d’oeuvres that have liver hidden inside them, she thinks.

“Mommy!” the little boy says. “I put the money in and nothing happened.”

“Push the coin release.”

“What’s that?”

“Can I help?” the service attendant asks.

“That’s all right,” the little boy’s mother says. “I’ll take care of it.” She goes to the machine and pushes the coin-release lever. Nothing happens.

*

Lying in a field in Viet Nam, in the second before he dies, Estelle’s brother wonders what will happen to his Peugeot. He wonders why he’s thinking of his Peugeot instead of Estelle or his mother or father. Rather, he starts to wonder, but dies before the thought is fully formulated.

*

“Maybe I could get a picture of the two of you by the door. Could you get together and pretend that you’re going grocery shopping?”

“We don’t have to pretend we’re going grocery shopping. We’ll just stand by the door, as if we’re going out.”

“Pretend you’re going grocery shopping,” the spaceman says.

“We look the same way whether we’re going to the P.T.A. meeting, or going to get groceries, or to visit her parents.”

“Then, just stand by the door as though you were doing one of those things, please, Bill.”

“Wake up, Estelle,” Big Bear says. “Wake up. Come on, Estelle,” Big Bear says. “This is the last picture. Are you going to wake up?”

*

“The machine doesn’t work,” the little boy’s mother says to the service-station attendant. Just one more problem on grocery day in Big Bear City, California.

*

“You had quite a night,” the babysitter says cheerfully. The babysitter and Sammy are awake. David is still sleeping. Big Bear envies David.

“I didn’t know I left the milk bottle out,” the babysitter says apologetically.

“Actually, we came home a while ago and some friends had milk.”

The babysitter looks at the milk glasses. She also sees the one that has been thrown against the dining-room wall.

“Good-night,” Big Bear says, and climbs the stairs. Since they did not smoke, Estelle will have no ashtrays to empty and will join him soon. Not that he really cares. He is so tired he’d sleep with the spacemen. Except Fred … Jesus, it sure is good they loaded him out of the house, Big Bear thinks. If I had irritated them, they might have left him. Big Bear is glad that he only has Sammy and David. If they had tried for a girl, like Estelle wanted, it might have been retarded.

Big Bear falls into bed, with visions of Fred. It rhymes: bed, Fred. Big Bear falls asleep.

*

There has been a spaceship sighting in Reno, Nevada, and that’s where Estelle wants to go.

“Estelle, you heard them say that there are a lot of other spacemen. Any of them could have flown over Reno, Nevada.”

“We haven’t taken a trip in years. The boys should see some of the country.”

“Aren’t you going to summer school? What happened to your plans?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I paid a year’s tuition. I’d like to have a talk about why you’re quitting.”

“Something disgusting happened.”

“What?”

“I want to go to Reno,” Estelle says. “Will you take me or won’t you?”

“The spaceship won’t still be there.”

“There have been sightings all around Reno.”

“We’re going to take the boys to Reno and sit in a motel waiting to hear rumors of spaceships?”

“It’s my birthday,” Estelle says. “You have to please me on my birthday, and I want to take a trip.”

“What do you mean, I have to please you on your birthday?”

“I suppose you don’t have to be nice to me if you don’t want to, Bear. Excuse my presumption.”

“I already am nice to you. That night with the spacemen I let you act like a jackass. Anybody else would have straightened you out.”

“How gallant of you not to criticize me in front of my friends.”

“Friends? You met them once.”

“Of course no one would want to be my friend,” Estelle says. “Excuse me.”

“I didn’t say they weren’t your friends. I did say that. I don’t know. Let’s forget this, okay?”

“Let’s go to Reno, Nevada.”

“Oh, leave me alone,” Big Bear says.

*

Big Bear meant to avoid this card shop, but it’s so convenient, and he doesn’t have the time to look all around for another place to get Estelle’s birthday card. The woman will probably not be there anyway.

The woman is there. She finds Big Bear as he stands browsing through the Relative Birthday group of cards. She asks if she can help him.

“No, thanks,” Big Bear says.

“This is a nice one,” the saleswoman says, taking a big pink card down.

Big Bear looks. There is a plastic window, in the shape of a heart, through which a blond lady is visible. “My Darling” it says across the top of the card.

“I don’t like that one,” Big Bear says.

“Then look at this one.” She hands Big Bear a blue card with bluer velvet bluebirds on it. The bluebirds trail a ribbon that spells “Happy Birthday, Darling” as it unrolls.

“Okay,” Big Bear says. “Fine.”

The card costs one dollar and fifty cents. For a card! It takes the woman a long time to slip it carefully into the bag. It takes her a long time to count out his change. He is never going to come to this card shop again.

“Thank you, sir,” the saleswoman says, with her usual ironic smile.

Big Bear holds the bag tightly and makes the mistake of crushing the velvet bird.

*

“You’re wrecked. You going to work like that?”

“I couldn’t work there if I wasn’t wrecked.”

“You should avoid getting wrecked sometime and try it.”

“You try it if you’re so curious. You can have my job.”

“I don’t want a job.”

“Then that means I have to have one. So don’t criticize me for getting wrecked.”

“You’re wrecked.” The saleswoman’s boyfriend laughs. He is also wrecked.

*

“Look at this one, look at this,” Bobby says.

His friend’s face turns red. “Put the things away,” his friend says.

“Look, look, this one was Estelle’s idea.”

“I’m sure.”

“No, I swear. She said this was a craze on campus in the sixties.”

“This was something they did at college?”

“And look at this one. This is Bill pretending he’s going to work. Look at it!”

“I’ve seen these things a dozen times already. Put those disgusting things away,” his friend says.

“I’ll put them away, but you’ve got to see the expression on her face in this one.”

“I’m not likely to see her face in this series.”

The spaceman’s friend has just made a witty remark. Bobby appreciates it and starts laughing uncontrollably. He’d be doing that even if his friend weren’t there, though. These pictures really kill him.

*

“Now the Air Force is even admitting that it’s tied up with them,” Big Bear says from his La-Z-Boy reclining chair.

“What do they say?”

“I just told you. All those sightings over Nebraska. The Air Force is coming out and admitting it.”

“What do they say, Bear?”

“You love this subject, don’t you? You love to talk about the spacemen.”

“Who brought it up?” Estelle says.

“I did. I know you love the subject,” Big Bear says.

*

“These bluebirds sing a happy tune. They say that you are mine …”

She is convulsed with laughter, that crazy, wiped-out laughter with no tears accompanying it. The eyes get wider and wider-wide enough to pour tears, but the laughter is all that comes.

“Why don’t you stop memorizing the cards? Just take your shoes off and relax.”

“It had velvet bluebirds on the front with a blue ribbon and a blue background, and it said ‘These bluebirds sing …’”

“You’re going to lose your job the first time you do a wiped-out thing like this with a customer.”

“The bluebirds! The fucking bluebirds!”

*

“What the hell was that?”

“Probably hit ducks again. Remember the time we took off through a whole flock of them?” Bobby says.

“Disgusting,” Donald says, but he is looking at Fred and not thinking about possible dead ducks.

*

“What are you mad at me for?” the little boy asks. “What did I do?”

“You didn’t do anything. You got your soft drink. Drink it.”

“You couldn’t make the machine work either,” the little boy says.

“It was broken,” his mother says.

“Then what are you mad about?”

“I’m mad because you just add to the confusion. I want to get the groceries and go home and put them away. All right? Sit back and finish your drink.”

It is just another day in Big Bear City, California.