"You two planning on getting out of bed sometime today?"
Henry Lightstone blinked slowly awake… and immediately found himself staring into a pair of adoring bright yellow eyes.
The shock of waking up six inches from the muzzle of a fully grown panther still surged through his nervous system when he became aware that his right forearm throbbed painfully.
The panther rumbled a greeting. And all of the relevant pieces began to fall into place in his sleep-starved mind.
"What time is it?" he mumbled as he cautiously turned over and looked up at the slender woman leaning in the doorway with her arms folded across her chest.
"According to my watch, about twenty after eight."
"How long've you been up?"
"Since about five-thirty this morning. I've got a restaurant and a post office to run, a government to curse, and fortunes to tell, remember?"
Lightstone blinked some more, heaved himself up on his elbows, and then looked at the panther, stretched lazily out on the bed with her eyes closed, her head resting against her right shoulder, and her right forepaw pressing against his arm. Then full awareness struck home.
"You left me alone in this bed with her… for three hours?" he sputtered.
"Sure, why not?" Karla shrugged, although a hint of a smile appeared at the corner of her lips. "It's common knowledge you men are pretty useless once you fall asleep."
"And a cheerful good morning to you, too."
"Although come to think of it," she added thoughtfully, "from the looks of that bed, I'm not sure how much sleeping the two of you did after I left."
Henry Lightstone stared in disbelief at the patterns of dried blood that covered what little remained of the torn sheets.
"Jesus Christ," he muttered as he sat up in the bed and looked around.
"Mother warned me about letting strange men in my bed," Karla commented, "but I think this particular situation far exceeds anything she possibly imagined. Maybe I should send her a copy of the photo. Better yet," she smiled brightly, "I wonder what the National Enquirer would pay?"
"You took a picture of me lying here?"
"I can just see the headlines now," Karla went on, ignoring his question, "'FEMALES SCORNED. CATFIGHT LEAVES BOYFRIEND WITH HURT FEELINGS.'"
"Is there some purpose to this visit, other than to give me a bad time about your sheets?" Lightstone inquired tersely.
"As a matter of fact, there is. I came to let you know that breakfast will be on the table at nine sharp… unless, of course," she smiled brightly again, "you'd like it served in bed?"
At ten minutes to nine, Henry Lightstone entered the screened dining area with a tight-jawed look on his face, the panther following closely at his side.
"And how are we doing this fine morning?" Karla inquired cheerfully as she put a bowl of water on the floor for the panther, attached the control collar around her neck, and poured Lightstone's coffee.
"I have to go to the bathroom," the covert agent muttered irritably.
The sensuous young woman cocked her head.
"Is this one of those 'my boyfriend has this really bizarre problem' situations they write about in Cosmo?" she whispered hopefully. "Or are you just asking permission?"
Lightstone leaned toward her until their heads almost touched.
"What I'm asking," he hissed through gritted teeth, "is for you to keep that damned cat here, and distracted, so that I can go into the bathroom, unzip my pants, and take a leak without having a hundred-pound panther nuzzle at my crotch."
"I don't know, that sure sounds like a bizarre guy-problem to me." She smiled brightly and glanced down at her watch. "However, I think I can guarantee you a maximum of nine minutes, following which your breakfast will be placed on the table and all bets are off."
"Deal."
Three minutes later, Lightstone emerged from the public rest room and entered the back room of the post office, determined to find a cancellation stamp for the letter he'd dropped in box fifteen the previous evening. However, he then noticed that box fifteen was empty, heard footsteps, and was in the process of pulling the door to the back room shut behind him when a FedEx agent hurrying down the hallway with a package almost knocked him over.
"Excuse me, my fault," Lightstone apologized.
"Oh, uh, no problem." The uniformed deliveryman offered a brief but harried smile. "Say, uh, you wouldn't happen to know if the postmaster… or postmistress," he corrected himself, looking over Lightstone's shoulder at the not-quite-shut office door with a hopeful expression on his face, "is around anywhere?"
"Last time I saw her, she was heading toward the kitchen. She should be out in a few minutes."
"Oh… uh, do you work here?"
"Well
No, of course I don't work here, you idiot. I'm just snooping around the back office when the postmistress isn't looking, Lightstone thought to himself, willing the man to go away before the woman showed up and started asking questions he didn't even want to think about trying to answer.
"Look, I'm running kinda late, and all I need is a drop-off signature. If you don't mind?"
"Sure, no problem." Lightstone accepted the pen and clipboard. "Say," he asked as he scribbled an illegible signature in the designated block, "when did FedEx start doing pickups and deliveries at post offices?"
The driver shrugged. "I deliver wherever it says on the address, and pick up just about anywhere in town… even the local girly-joint if they've got something to go." The driver smiled as he accepted the clipboard and handed the package to Lightstone.
"So you guys deliver at the industrial complex out on the west side of town?" Lightstone asked as an idea suddenly occurred to him.
"Sure do. In fact, that's where I'm headed now."
"You have time to pick up another package for delivery out there?"
"Always time to pick up new business. But it won't get there until tomorrow."
"Why not?"
"It has to go through one of the central routing points first."
"You mean you guys would actually fly a package all the way to Memphis or San Francisco, fly it back to Medford, and then truck it all the way back to Loggerhead City?"
"You bet." The driver smiled again. "That's what you pay for — twenty-four-hour guaranteed service. Not necessarily efficient service, but definitely guaranteed."
"What if I offered you a hundred dollars for a one-hour guaranteed delivery?"
"A hundred dollars?" The driver gasped. "Are you serious?"
"I am as long as the package gets there before ten this morning."
"Well, I don't know…"
"Listen," Lightstone quickly pulled out his wallet, "if it makes you feel better, send another empty package the long way around through Memphis, full fare… just as long as the first one gets to the warehouse by ten this morning." He handed the driver a hundred-dollar bill and a ten-dollar bill. "Deal?"
The driver looked at the money, hesitated once more, then directed Lightstone to follow him out to his truck.
Five minutes later, Bravo Team's wild-card agent hurried back into the restaurant with a FedEx package in his hand and sat down at the table just as Danny came out of the kitchen with a steaming tray balanced on his shoulder.
"That was close," the woman commented, looking down at her watch. "Only fifteen seconds to spare."
"Figured I'd better do something worthwhile to earn my keep around here," Lightstone explained, handing her the package as the cook set the tray on a nearby table.
"Don't tell me you're angling for a job with the post office?" The woman's eyes narrowed slightly as she glanced at the package before she set it aside.
Lightstone laughed. "Not hardly. I don't think I'd make a very good federal employee."
"Oh really? Why's that?"
"The federal government and I don't exactly see eye to eye on a lot of things," Lightstone told her truthfully. "Fact of the matter is, until I met you, I kinda figured they were all just a bunch of lay-about good-for-nothings pigging out at the government trough. You know the type. Too lazy to go out and get a real job."
"As opposed to your standard, skinny, hardworking, good-for-nothing male who just happens to be — how did you put it — 'between' real jobs?" Karla smiled.
"Exactly," Lightstone nodded agreeably. "Man has to know his place in this world."
"Actually," the slender young woman studied him thoughtfully, "I bet you'd be a perfect candidate to give some of those higher-ups in Washington a few well-deserved coronaries."
"That's been mentioned before," Lightstone admitted.
"Yeah, I'll bet it has." Karla chuckled, making no attempt to restrain her good-natured sarcasm. Then she smiled in gratitude when the cook placed a steaming plate of scrambled eggs with minced China peas and sliced mushrooms, and one of toast, on the table in front of her.
"Danny, you are a gem. Remind me not to ever let the federal government steal you away from here."
"Yes, ma'am, that I am… and no, ma'am, there ain't no chance of that ever happening." The young cook smiled cheerfully. "Added the mushrooms for a little variety." He gestured toward the contentedly sleeping panther. "Figured y'all might need your strength this fine morning."
The cook then deliberately glanced down at Lightstone's bandaged forearm, shook his head, smirked, placed a second steaming plate in front of the covert agent, and walked back into the kitchen humming a cheerful Cajun tune, seemingly oblivious to the glares the two diners aimed in his direction.