E.Godz

Chapter Seventeen

Midnight in Salem, Massachusetts.

The witching hour found Dov Godz slumped in his rental car in front of Ye Cat and Cauldron engaged in high wizardry of the most puissant order, namely using his palmtop to hack into the records of the M.D. who had supposedly pronounced his mother's death sentence. First he used his own tech skills, enhanced by every drop of magic at his command, to force a passage into Edwina's personal financial records, found evidence of payment rendered for a recent physical examination (for insurance purposes, as he had surmised), and obtained the examining physician's name from that.

Accessing the doctor's records was relatively simple.

Locating a copy of the report that the M.D. had e-mailed to the insurance company was child's play.

Discovering that, in the doctor's professional opinion, Edwina Godz would live to see ninety, was a kick in the head.

Deciding that maybe Edwina would not live to see ninety more seconds of life if he had anything to say about it, was merely the vindictive desire of a moment, cast aside almost as soon as brought to mind. Funny how relief at knowing that his mother wasn't at death's doorstep after all was so quickly replaced by the urge to send her there, special delivery.

Maybe he couldn't kill her, but he sure as hell was going to make her pay for what she'd done to him.

"And Peez, too," he muttered at the glowing screen of his palmtop. "Damn it, Edwina, what the hell were you thinking, putting us through this? Especially Peez. She's always been more concerned about you than I ever was. She gets hurt too much, too easily, and you knew it! Or you should have known it, if you'd paid half a lick of attention to either of us. Why did you do it, Edwina? Nothing good on TV?" He snapped the palmtop shut, started up the car, and drove back to his bed-and-breakfast, thinking dark thoughts all the way.

The front door was locked and deadbolted when he got there. House rules clearly posted in his room indicated that all guests should either plan on being back by midnight or being elsewhere until six the next morning. Dov never was one for conforming to other people's plans. He stroked one fingertip over both locks and they yielded to him soundlessly.

As he climbed the stairs and opened the door to his bedroom he was still immersed in thoughts of vague payback plots to invoke against his mother. He was so distracted that at first he took the scene awaiting him—right in the middle of his bed, no less—for an illusion.

Ammi the amulet, Dov's faithful companion throughout his recent travels, was propped up on a lace-covered throw pillow, its silver eyes fixed on the wavering apparition of a teddy bear that floated in the air just above the headboard. Bear and amulet were in the middle of a very animated conversation:

"So then I says to her, I says, 'Peezie-pie, I jes' wuuvs New Owleenz all to eensy- beansy pieces, yes I does, but oo isn't doing um's job by camping out in this swamp like a brain-dead bullfrog!'" The ghostly bear looked angry and disgusted. "I says, 'You better get cracking, get back in the saddle, back on the road, or else your brother's going to beat you to the punch and steal the company out from under your nose!' And you know what she says to that?"

"No," Ammi replied. "But if you've got an ounce of mercy in your stuffing, you'll tell me without resorting to that dumbass baby-talk!"

"Hey, it keeps her happy, let's her believe you can hold onto your childhood forever." The bear grinned. "Like Edwina says, play 'em right and children are easy to lead anywhere you want them to go."

"Easy for her, maybe." Ammi snorted.

"Preach on," said the bear, in total agreement with the amulet. "I don't know what's been happening, but the more Peez travels, the harder it gets for me to guide her the way I want her to go. I sure could use Edwina's help on this, but whenever I try to get some feedback she says I should stick to giving her my latest surveillance report."

"Tell me about it. I've been giving her the lowdown on what her precious sonny boy's been up to, right on schedule, but when I ask her for maybe a little help with getting him to cooperate with some of my plans, she clams up."

"Plans?"

"Two words: chest hair. I've been trying to get him to shave it off for ages."

"That's barbaric!" the bear exclaimed, crossing his paws protectively over his own furry chest. "No wonder Edwina wouldn't—"

"Wouldn't what?" Dov asked, his voice dangerously free of all emotion as he stepped into the bedroom.

"Oops. Busted," said the phantom bear. "Tough luck, Ammi. At least my half of the operation's still safe. Ta-ta!" The apparition vanished just as Dov's fist closed over the little amulet.

"All right," Dov told Ammi. "Start talking."

"I don't have any idea what you mean," Ammi replied, trying to act innocent and failing spectacularly.

"Sure you don't. And I won't have any idea how you managed to get flushed down the toilet. Maybe the thought of spending the rest of your unnatural born days with sewage doesn't scare you. Maybe you figure that Edwina will rescue her faithful little spy. Maybe you've got some kind of homing device inside you and maybe you don't, but it all comes down to this: Are you feeling lucky, punk?"

"Aaaaiieee!" Ammi shrilled so loudly that it was even odds whether or not he'd wake up everyone in the B&B. "Not that! Anything but that! I'll tell you everything I know, only please, I beg you, I implore you, I cast myself upon your mercy and plead with you: Stop with the bad Clint Eastwood imitations! There's only so much that mortal silver can stand!"

Dov scowled. He thought he did a very good Clint Eastwood. "Fine," he said, biting off the word short. "Deal. Talk."

"There's not a whole lot for me to say that you don't already know," Ammi began. "Edwina contacted Teddy Tumtum and me on the q.t., asking us to keep closer tabs on you and Peez than—"

"Closer tabs on us?" Dov cut in. "How long have you been spying on us?"

"How long has Peez had that blabbermouth bear?"

"Almost forever. But what about me, then? You've been part of my office equipment from the first, but that leaves some pretty big stretches of my life unaccounted for. I expected more thorough work from Edwina when it comes to domestic espionage."

"Then don't sweat it 'cause she didn't let you down. Your sister clings to that bear, so he was the logical place to lodge a listening post. You, on the other hand, haven't got any one thing that's special to you, so Edwina simply scattered dozens of information- gathering devices throughout your life. It would've been too complicated to do that once you hit the road, though, so she tapped me to take charge."

"And you talked your way into my confidence. Very neat, Ammi; very smooth. I ought to flush you for that, at the very least."

"Aw, come on, Dov, you know you don't mean it," the little amulet wheedled. "I admit that it was just a job to me at first, but the longer I traveled with you, the more I got to know you and like you. I know that I'm only a trinket and I'm not supposed to have feelings for anything or anyone, but when it comes to you, I do."

"Nice try. If I made a habit of believing in the impossible, you might have a fighting chance of fooling me some more."

"Hey, I just know what I feel! Don't ask me to explain why or how it happened. I'm magic, dammit! I've got enchantment oozing out of my pores! Okay, so I don't have pores, but maybe some of the spells Edwina laid on me became such an ingrown part of my essence that they screwed me up bad enough to have feelings, whether I want them or not. I do like you, Dov, and I'm honestly sorry about spying on you, but that's the work I was wrought for. And if you think that flushing me down the toilet will make you feel better about the whole thing, then go ahead and flush me with my blessings!"

Dov pursed his lips, thinking over the amulet's impassioned words. At last he said: "Nah. Why bother? You'll just clog up the pipes." He fastened Ammi back around his neck and added: "You can stay, but there's going to be a few conditions."

"Like what?" the amulet asked, suspicious.

"First, you let me slap a truth spell on you; a destruction-level truth spell."

"Uhhh." Resting on a tuft of Dov's chest hair, the little amulet vibrated with anxiety. Truth spells were not used to coerce or compel someone to tell the truth. Their actual purpose was to make it very, very unpleasant for the person thus bespelled should he choose to lie. Given the power of such enchantments, they required the full cooperation and consent of the recipient, something along the lines of You knew the job was dangerous when you took it.

A destruction-level truth spell spoke for itself as far as the consequences of telling a lie while subject to its power. It was, to say the least, a major commitment on the part of the recipient.

Ammi took a deep breath, blew it out, and finally said: "Okay. But put a time limit on it, all right? I don't mind swearing to tell you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth or else kablammo, but not forever. I can't take the pressure."

"How would seventy-two hours suit you?"

"That's all?" The perfect silver brows drew together. "What's the catch?"

"Nothing. And I don't need a destruction-level truth spell on me to tell you this: Within seventy-two hours, Edwina will have no further use for you or Teddy Tumtum or any other device to spy on me or my sister ever again!"