Edenville Owls

Chapter 13

It was a bright Saturday afternoon and no one was around. I walked down to the harbor and looked at the bandstand. It was empty. I went on down the hill past it and out to the end of the longest wharf, and sat on the stone surface and looked at the water.

Nick and I were a little ill at ease these days. Neither one of us said anything, but I figured it must have something to do with Joanie. I know it did for me. And I knew Russell was kind of PO’d because he thought the Owls were his team, and he didn’t like me doing all the coaching. I didn’t like it either, but there wasn’t anyone else to do it, and we had to do something if we were going to get anywhere in the state tournament. Part of me doubted that we would. It was the part that was sort of separate from the rest of me, that knew the stuff that I didn’t want to know.

That part knew why I had come down here past the bandstand.

Looking straight down into the greenish water, I could see small fish moving about the base of the dock. Much too small to catch. It was too late in the year to fish, anyway. I wondered if people didn’t fish after Labor Day because the fish went somewhere, or if it was just because people thought it was too cold to sit out there with a line. Or maybe that was just the way it was done. The grown-up world was filled with stuff that you did because that’s the way it was done.

The sun was behind me and to my right as I sat looking at the water. I saw her shadow before I saw her.

“Can I sit and stare at the water too?” Joanie said.

“It’s not my water,” I said.

She sat beside me. Her hair was shiny and smelled nice, like she’d just washed it.

“Nick says he thinks you’re mad about him going to the Boat Club party with me.”

“I’m not mad,” I said. “He’s your boyfriend.”

“No,” Joanie said. “He’s not.”

Something jumped inside me.

“He says he is.”

“I can’t help that,” Joanie said. “But I am not his girlfriend.”

“So why did you invite him to the party?”

“He’s cute, and he’s kind of nice,” she answered. “He isn’t grabby or anything.”

I nodded. Two gulls landed near us and looked at us. In the summer, when we fished, we’d throw them a piece of bait, or maybe a small fish.

“But I’m not his girlfriend,” Joanie said.

I nodded again.

“So why are you mad?”

“I told you,” I said, “I’m not mad.”

“We promised never to be mad at each other,” Joanie said.

I nodded.

“And we promised always to be each other’s friend,” she said.

I nodded again. Our feet dangled over the edge of the dock, side by side. Hers were crossed at the ankles. She had on her saddle shoes again. I was wearing the thick-soled oxblood-colored shoes with two eyelets that I liked.

“Did we promise not to lie to each other?”

“I don’t think so.”

“I think we should,” Joanie said. “I mean, how are we going to be each other’s friend always, if we lie?”

“You think I’m lying?” I said.

Joanie nodded her head slowly. I smiled at her.

“Damn,” I said.

She cocked her head a little and widened her eyes and shrugged.

“Promise?” she said.

“Promise,” I said.

The two gulls got tired of waiting, and gave up and flew off.

“So,” Joanie said. “Are you mad at me?”

“No.”

“Nick?”

“No.”

“But you’re mad about something.”

“I’m jealous,” I said.

It came out before I knew it was going to, and now that it was out, there was no way to put it back.

“Did you wish I’d asked you?” Joanie said.

“I don’t know. I know I didn’t like it. I know I kept thinking about you in there. I thought, What if they are doing stuff?”

“You mean like kissing?” Joanie asked. “Making out?”

“Yes.”

My voice sounded hoarse to me. The sky seemed much higher than it had and the harbor seemed bigger. Across the harbor the neck seemed really far.

“I asked Nick because he’s very nice,” Joanie said. “He doesn’t even joke around or talk dirty the way Russell does. He’s very polite.”

I nodded.

“I’ve never made out with anybody,” Joanie said.

I took a big breath. The ocean air was clean and bright. The neck didn’t seem so far away.

“Me either,” I said.