Edible

24

“You and I need to talk.”

Rachel lifted her eyes from the computer and turned to look down the hall of the small flower shop. She had known Mason wouldn’t leave what had happened last night alone for long, but the fact that he was here at seven in the morning the next day showed her how much it had been on his mind.

“Well, I was ready to talk last night,” she pointed out.

As her brother moved farther down the narrow hall toward her, Rachel straightened her spine, getting ready for a battle. Lately, it had seemed like she was arguing with him much more than usual, and right now, as he got closer, she felt as though the air in the shop was becoming tense.

“No, you weren’t. You were there to shock us all and hope no one said anything.”

“Believe what you like, Mase. I knew there was no way you would understand. I just figured—”

“Safety in numbers?” he interrupted as he moved to sit on one of the stools behind the counter.

His black hair was pushed back from his face, and now that he was sitting down, Rachel could look directly at him. His blue eyes were just like hers, but the laugh lines that were usually there when he smiled were missing right now. Instead, he had a frown, one that was becoming more permanent with every conversation they had recently.

“Maybe,” she muttered, deciding to choose the easy option.

“Maybe?”

Yep, Mason isn’t letting me get away with that.

“Come on, Rach. Did you really think I was going to be okay with what happened last night? What brother who cares about his sister would be?”

God, no one can guilt me as well as Mason.

“Why do you dislike Cole so much?” she asked, trying to divert his attention.

“I don’t,” he answered quickly before adding, “I don’t know enough about him. It’s not so much a matter of disliking him. It’s more that I’m worried about you.”

“You don’t need to—”

“Don’t tell me not to worry, okay?” Mason interjected with a deep sigh. “You’re my little sister.”

“Mase, I’m hardly little.”

“You will always be my little sister, and I don’t care if you’re dating—or in this case, marrying—Josh, Cole, or a stranger. I will worry until I know you are happy.”

Rachel leaned against the counter, and for a minute, she had to look away from his probing gaze. He was doing that thing where he managed to say everything right, and it was really annoying her that she found herself feeling bad for yelling at him last night.

He deserved it! Didn’t he?

“You just haven’t been the same since Mom passed away. I know I dealt with my—”

“Stupid phase?” Rachel replied sarcastically, looking back to him.

“I was going to say I know I dealt with my grief in a less than mature way, but I’m not sure you ever dealt with it.”

Mason stood and took a step closer to her. When she crossed her arms in front of herself, he didn’t even hesitate to wrap his arms around her.

“I just don’t want Cole to be a convenient distraction from other feelings,” he whispered into the empty shop.

Despite wanting to stay annoyed, Rachel felt a laugh escape her at those words. “You might be right about me not dealing with everything, but trust me, there is nothing convenient about Cole Madison.”

Mason pulled away from Rachel and sat back down, giving her the space she seemed to need more and more of lately. Today though, she seemed different, calmer than usual. It was almost as if she was a relaxed version of herself, standing there in her leather pants and a bright pink shirt with black polka dots.

“Tell me,” he prodded as he kept his eyes on her.

“Tell you? Tell you what?”

“Talk to me, Rach. We used to do that all the time, remember?”

“Yeah, when we were kids,” she pointed out.

“And that has to change now, why? You seemed fine when Mom…” Immediately, he trailed off, recalling a conversation he’d recently had with Josh. Josh had told Mason that he thought something was up with Rachel as far back as the wedding, maybe even a little bit before that. When Josh had told him, Mason had felt like shit for not even noticing.

Well, Mom always said that love made you stupid and blind.

He just hadn’t realized it would make him blind to the only other woman in his life that he loved with all his heart.

“It’s okay. You can say it,” Rachel urged, breaking through his thoughts. “You’re right. I was fine when Mom was still alive…because she made it all okay, Mase. Having her here was like having an anchor to cling to. Losing Dad…god, I didn’t think I’d ever be the same. He took all my secrets with him, and I had no one left to talk to about it.”

“Secrets?” Mason questioned.

What the hell is she talking about? What secrets?

“Sit with me,” her father said as he sat down at her kitchen counter.

Pressing the ice pack she had handed him to his eye, he pinned her with the one that was still open. Rachel sat down beside him with her own makeshift ice pack, frozen peas, placed against her cheek.

“You are going to sit here with me until you are ready to talk,” he told her in a voice that signaled he had all day.

Hesitantly, Rachel peered up into the face that made her feel safe, loved, and cherished. “What if I’m not ready yet?”

“Then, we sit here some more,” he told her, proving that it was as simple as that.

Rachel closed her eyes and tried to ignore the insistent ringing in her ears. She wanted to finally unburden herself of this mess. The only problem was that she was so ashamed of how it had begun and how long it had occurred, so she was finding it hard to form the right words.

Opening her eyes, she looked at the man beside her and wondered how she had gotten so lucky. She had wonderful parents—two people who loved one another and who had raised their children in a home full of love.

But for Rachel, it was always her dad who was her pillar of strength. He was the one person she knew who could chase away everything that was bad. Whether it was consoling her in a strong embrace or dancing in the kitchen to a song from her childhood, her dad was the person who always made her feel safe.

As she sat beside him, she found that she didn’t know how to tell him everything Ben had done to her, but she had to start somewhere, and he was waiting.

“He’s been doing this for a while now,” Rachel blurted out. She ceased talking to brave a glance at her dad.

When her eyes met the one that was uncovered, she knew he was having trouble containing his anger.

“Did Mason know what was going on?”

Quickly, Rachel shook her head, causing the ringing in her ears to get louder. “Oh god, no! Mase would’ve—”

“Mason would have killed him, so I suppose we’re lucky that he didn’t know. Although, considering how close you two are, I’m surprised he didn’t guess.”

Rachel could feel the tears escaping and rolling down her cheeks. She knew that she had done everything she could to hide this from her parents and her brother, the people she loved very much.

“I’m so ashamed of myself, Dad,” she mumbled, unable to look at him anymore. “I’m ashamed of who I was with him.”

“Hey, there’ll be none of that. He did this to you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I let him do it,” Rachel choked out between sobs.

“Rachel?” her father said, lowering the ice pack from his swollen eye.

When she finally raised her head to look at him, the expression in his eyes was something she had never seen. He was pissed but not at her. She could sense the anger simmering beneath the surface, and it made her truly glad that Ben was nowhere in sight because, at that moment, she feared her father would have killed him.

“Listen to me, young lady. You have nothing to feel ashamed of. What he did to you was wrong. It was cruel and the lowest form of cowardice. A man should never make his partner feel anything other than loved, respected, and special. He should never get pleasure from making her cower in a corner or from making her hide from the people she loves.” Reaching out his large palm, her father cupped her reddened cheek. “You don’t ever need to feel ashamed because of this. Never. And don’t settle for anything other than being loved the way you should be.”

“Dad, please, please don’t tell Mom or Mason. I just want to put it behind me and forget I was ever this stupid.”

“You’re not stupid,” he said. “Maybe you were looking for something in Ben, something you thought he could give you. There’s no harm in looking for what you need. In the end, it just turns out that he was not what you or anyone ever deserved. And, Rachel, if I ever see that little fucker near you again, I will kill him.”

She didn’t know why, but that dire threat made all her fears leave—at least for the moment anyway.

“He just knew me better than anyone else,” Rachel muttered.

“Well, you were always closest with him, just like I was with Mom. Funny that we gravitated to the opposite,” Mason acknowledged with a fond smile.

“But so perfect, right? It makes sense really. We had two amazing parents. Mom felt like my final piece of Dad. With her here, we still got the stories, all of the remember-whens. When she passed, I felt lost. I felt like I had nothing left to hold on to.”

“Rachel, that’s not true. You always had me.”

“Not at first. When Mom died, you disappeared, Mase. You were grieving and so angry. You didn’t even see me, and I understood. That’s why I didn’t push.”

“Well, maybe you fucking should have,” he cursed.

Rachel could tell he was more pissed off at himself than at her.

“Maybe. But where would that have gotten me? You were in no frame of mind to listen.”

“So, instead, you retreated? And don’t say you haven’t because everybody has noticed.”

“Yes, I admit things changed, that I changed. I needed someone I could talk to, relate to. You had Lena, and then Josh came back to town. He, as usual, was his easygoing, fantastic self, and he tried to get me to open up, but even I knew that he was too wrapped up in Shelly. I wasn’t going to be the friend that had all the issues—yet again.”

Rachel decided that this next part of the conversation really needed to be done with some distance between them. Moving around Mason, she made her way over to a vase that held some colorful tulips, her mother’s favorite.

“So, I decided to check out a place called Whipped,” she finally made herself say, turning to gauge his reaction.

“Yes, I’ve recently been informed all about that club.” Shaking his head, Mason frowned. “I just don’t see it—you all decked out in leather. I mean, yeah, I see the loud, fun hair and the leather pants. But, Rachel, you’re too sweet, too soft for that kind of place.”

Rachel laughed, thinking about Cole’s accusation that everything she had done in that club was fake, that it was all part of a uniform. It was ironic that the two men in her life that had yet to see eye-to-eye with each other both knew her so well.

“You’re right, but I wanted to be in control of who I decided to let in. In there, I knew that I could.”

“Is that what Charlie’s attraction was? That he was so easygoing you could do whatever you wanted?”

“It was definitely part of it. You never seemed to have an issue with him,” Rachel mused out loud.

“Because he was harmless.”

“And Cole’s not?”

“No, he’s not. He has the ability to really hurt you. I can see it in the way you look to him, the way he seems to calm you just by sitting next to you. He reminds me of your first boyfriend, Ben.”

“He’s nothing like Ben,” Rachel replied in a frosty tone.

She could tell Mason was instantly aware of his misstep. He just wasn’t sure why.

“Okay,” he drawled out slowly. “I’m sorry for the comparison. I know things ended badly with him.”

“No. Things were terrible with him. He was…was…Cole is nothing like him,” she reinforced.

“Hey, hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring him up. You never did tell us why you broke up with him.”

Taking a deep breath, Rachel walked back to stop in front of her brother.

“Only Dad knew why.”

“Well, you always were closest to him. Daddy’s little girl,” Mason tried for a lighter tone.

“Not about this, Mase. I never wanted him to know this, but I couldn’t keep it a secret.”

By the way Mason’s jaw clenched and the hands that had been resting on the counter fisted, Rachel could tell that he sensed something bad was about to come out of her mouth.

“Rach, you’re starting to really worry me. Talk to me, please?”

Rachel closed her eyes, blocking out Mason’s curious but compassionate look. Compassion was not what she wanted right now, not when retelling this story.

“The reason that Ben and I broke up…” Stop, swallow, breathe. “Was because he used to do things to me.”

“What kind of things?” Mason managed to say through gritted teeth.

Once again, Rachel had no words, so she sat in silence.

“What kind of things, Rachel?” Mason pressed, determined now to know everything.

With what little voice she could find, she whispered, “He used to hurt me.”

The silence that filled the room after her confession was deafening.

Then, Mason was up. He stood tall, which was impressive even when he wasn’t pissed, and that wasn’t now.

“How? How did he hurt you?” he asked.

Rachel looked up into her brother’s eyes that were narrowed and full of frustration. She knew this was what Cole had been referring to when he had said sometimes anger came from feeling useless.

“He would get jealous and possessive about stupid things, things that didn’t even matter. He’d yell at me, push me around, hit me. The night we broke up, I was asking him to leave, and Dad came over. He saw Ben slap me.”

“Jesus Christ, Rachel,” Mason hissed, his fists clenching by his side.

The look on his face was murderous, so unlike any she had seen there before, and she felt ill for putting it there now.

“That wasn’t the first time he had done it, but Dad made sure it was the last,” she ended softly. She crossed her arms over her stomach as though it would help hold in all the emotions she was feeling.

“Where is he now?”

The question was filled with such menace, and it was so unexpected that Rachel found herself asking, “Why?”

“Because I want to kill the fucker.”

She felt her eyes widen as she dropped her arms and stepped forward to her tense brother. Reaching out, she placed a palm over his chest. “You sounded just like Dad then. He was worried about what you would do if you knew. But, Mase, it’s okay. Well, it is now.”

Mason raised his hands and gently gripped her shoulders. “What does that mean—that it’s okay now?”

She didn’t expect to say it, but she found she couldn’t stop herself. It was like the truth was all lining up and dying to come out. “It’s okay now because of Cole. He makes it okay.”

“I don’t understand,” Mason said, struggling with all this new information. “How does he make it okay? Did he kill him first? Because if he did, I need to shake that guy’s hand, possibly even hug him.”

For the first time in the last hour, Rachel found herself smiling.

“No, that’s not it. Cole has never met Ben, which is lucky for Ben, I think. But for so long, I had nightmares about what he did to me. I was terrified to let anyone touch me. So, I made sure I dated easygoing guys, guys like Charlie, that let me control everything.”

“I don’t want to hear the rest of this, do I?” Mason asked with a hint of humor and an arched brow. “Because I sure as shit know that Cole is nothing like Charlie.”

“No, he’s not. He’s the exact opposite. I couldn’t control him any more than I could you. I know Cole comes off as serious and stuffy, but he’s so much more than that. He’s kind and honest. He’s the one that wanted to tell all of you about us from the very beginning. Why do you think he came to the restaurant last week? And last night? That was all him.”

Mason’s lips twitched, and the usual easygoing smile that was so familiar started to come back. “Well, I believe that. He’s a cocky bastard.”

“Mase, he makes me feel safe. He chases all the nightmares away.”

“And you really love him, don’t you?”

“Yes, I really do.”

Mason sighed and shook his head with a small chuckle. “Only you would fall in love and marry a man in less than two weeks.”

“I think I might have started to love him the first night I met him. He told me that he was exactly what I needed, and I was convinced he was a lunatic, so I told him to get lost.” Rachel laughed, remembering the intense and sexy stranger with the tequila in the club.

“That seems to run in our family—falling for a person who drives you insane. Isn’t that what Dad always said? He was a wise man,” Mason reflected.

“He married Mom, and she was a pretty amazing woman, so I think he knew what he was talking about.”

“We had the best parents in the world. You know that, right?” Mason tapped under her chin.

“I know. I think they’d be pleased with us. Don’t you?”

Mason’s smile widened, and his eyes filled with mischief, just like they had when he was a boy. “Well, me definitely. What’s not to love?”

Rachel found herself holding back tears as happiness swelled inside her. “Well, as much as I hate to admit it, I couldn’t have asked for a better brother.”

Mason opened his arms and hugged her. “Bring Cole around. I want to meet him.”

“You don’t need to worry about Cole. He loves me.”

“I’m starting to see that, but I still want to know him because I love you, too.”

Rachel leaned up as Mason lowered his head, and she pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Best brother ever.”

Mason chuckled. “You didn’t think so last night.”

“That’s because you were a jerk last night.”

Letting her go, Mason walked around her and made his way down the back hall. He stopped to pet Tulip, who was sitting up on the table in the back.

“See you at eight on Friday at my place. Okay, Mrs. Madison?”

Hearing her name on her brother’s lips, Rachel’s eyes widened.

Mason snickered. “See? Even you still think it’s weird.”

Rachel poked her tongue out at him. “We’ll be there!”

With that, Mason chuckled and left, leaving the small flower shop feeling much lighter than it had earlier this morning.