Elfsorrow

Chapter 5

The look on Ilkar's face when he strode into a kitchen filled with the delicious smells of soup and fresh bread that evening was just as The Unknown had expected. The elegant eyebrows were arrowed in, the lips thin, the high-boned cheeks reddened and leaf-shaped ears pricking furiously. His words stopped the desultory conversation around The Raven's table.

'I've had the most wonderful day,' he said. 'Clear blue skies, warm water, an island a short sail away just for me and the woman I love. Then, to cap off the perfection, I sail back here to find we've handed over control of Herendeneth to Xetesk. Anyone want to volunteer a reason?' He stared squarely at The Unknown. 'Hello, Unknown. At least it's good to see you if not the rest of the passengers that came with you.'

He sat down.

'Great entrance,' said Hirad.

'Some performance,' agreed Denser.

The briefest of smiles registered on Erienne's face, gone in a heartbeat.

'This isn't funny,' snapped Ilkar. 'Correct me if I'm wrong, but we agreed a research party of six. Now I'm not the world's greatest mathematician but I reckon I counted more than six Xeteskian mages on my way through the house. Oh, and I think there was the odd Protector in addition to the half-dozen who were here when I left this morning.'

The Unknown would have laughed under other circumstances – Ilkar's sarcasm was always so perfectly delivered – but this wasn't the time.

'There are thirty mages and one hundred Protectors here. They are here because they fear invasion of this island by Dordover.' The silence around the table was total. 'That is because Xetesk and Dordover are now at war. It is open conflict and it will soon consume Balaia, our country, which is already starving and broken.

'They are here to research dimensional magics across the spectrum and we can't stop them or make demands of them. But we can do something about Balaia. There's a tide early tomorrow afternoon. We have to be on it.'

Soup spoons were forgotten, bread hung from fingers. The Unknown Warrior could hear them all breathing – The Raven, less one notable absentee, the people in whom he had unshakeable faith. They would be tested now, for sure.

'We've fought for Balaia for so long. For peace and for somewhere we can grow old in safety and security. But I've brought my wife and son here because I fear for their lives from starvation, disease or the sword if I leave them there. We can't let it go on. Or everything else we've done will be for nothing.'

'But I thought peace was being brokered,' said Hirad.

'You thought wrong,' said The Unknown. 'We all did. This was just a matter of time.'

In his chair to The Unknown's left, Ry Darrick shifted uncomfortably. The former Lysternan general had been accused of desertion back on Balaia to fight with The Raven but that didn't change the way he felt about his home.

'Lystern?' he said as if fearing the answer.

'Peace brokers with no peace to broker,' said The Unknown. 'They're out of it for now but…' He shrugged. They all understood. He turned his attention to Ilkar. The elf had not been mollified by his answer. 'But there is a chance. We have to restore the balance. Raise the Heart of Julatsa.'

'I agree.' Ilkar nodded. 'Assuming we can find a couple of hundred mages to help.'

'Jevin's going to Calaius next for cargo. We should be with him. Plenty of mages there.'

'Yes, Unknown, and they all returned there for a good reason,' said Ilkar.

'Then you'll have to persuade them to go back,' said The Unknown. 'They'll listen to you.' He stared at Ilkar until the Julatsan nodded.

'And meanwhile we let Xetesk have the run of this place?'

'What else can we do, Ilkar?' asked The Unknown. 'We can't force them to leave and, more important, their research could free the Protectors and send the dragons home.'

'But what about the other results, eh?'

'I know,' said The Unknown. 'And that's why we have to get Julatsa working as a college again. It's the only way to stop the war. I don't see we have any choice. Even if Lystern and Dordover allied, they wouldn't be strong enough. With Julatsa, they just might. But Julatsa needs its Heart. We all need to say our goodbyes and get going. Balaia can't wait. And what Erienne is carrying needs to be taken away from here. I'm sure you all understand.'

Erienne pushed back her chair and stood up slowly, shaking off Denser's protective arm.

'I'm so pleased you've got it all worked out,' she said. 'Ilkar can go and find his mages to rebuild Balaia and, by the by, you can look after poor little me and take me away from those nasty Xeteskians.'

She stopped and glared around the table, daring any of them to speak. The Unknown felt suddenly cold, knew he'd made an error and cursed himself silently. He knew what she was going to say before she said it.

'But any of you who thinks I will leave my daughter here to the tender mercies of her killers and the Dark College deserves nothing but my contempt. I'm sure you all understand.'

She strode from the kitchen.

'That wasn't your cleverest speech,' said Ilkar.

'No,' agreed The Unknown. He'd misjudged the state of her grief and her mind; and though he felt empty for her, he couldn't fathom why she hadn't moved on a day since he'd left. 'But she'll come round.'

'By tomorrow? No chance,' said Denser. 'Her mind isn't rational one heartbeat to the next.'

'Well, you've got to make it so. She isn't safe here. And we need her. She's Raven.'

Ilkar shifted in his seat and narrowed his startling slanted oval eyes.

'There's something else, isn't there? Something's got you spooked because this isn't like you. You're too careful. What is it?'

The Unknown shook his head. 'You weren't there; you didn't feel it. Balaia's dying.'

'What are you talking about?' asked Hirad.

'I can't make you understand. But every Protector here will tell you the same thing. It's like the air itself doesn't taste right. There are forces trying to impose things on Balaia and its peoples that go against the natural order. Not just Selik and the Black Wings; the colleges too. They have stood for two thousand years as deterrents against one another. But now they've turned on each other and they'll murder Balaia too. I will not let that happen.

'Now, where's Thraun?'

Hirad sighed and looked at Ilkar. The elf was staring down at his food, Ren's arm around his shoulders. The Unknown wasn't about to like what he'd hear, he was sure of that. The Unknown didn't find Thraun until well past midnight, and even then he all but tripped over the feral man. The dark of the night, the deep shadows under the beech trees and bushes and Thraun's utter stillness had made The Unknown's lantern-lit search fruitless for hours. He'd rejected all offers of help. For reasons he wasn't prepared to put into words, he felt he'd have more joy if he found the shapechanger alone.

When at last he came across the sleeping form, he stood and looked down at him for a time. Thraun's face was creased by a frown and his teeth ground together as he dreamed, memories and anxieties surfacing to torture his rest. He lay in a close foetal position, with his hands balled into fists and his legs tucked right up to his body. He'd made a bed from blankets taken from the house, and scattered about him was the detritus of a confused mind trying desperately to find itself but not knowing where it was lost. There was an empty bottle, a book, a square of torn tapestry, a knife from the kitchen, an empty bowl and an arrow. A curious mix.

The Unknown knelt next to Thraun, the shapechanger's eyes opening as he did so.

'Not too much wrong with your senses, I see,' he said, setting the lantern down.

Thraun's eyes showed no fear, just tired puzzlement and then dawning recognition. His face relaxed.

'That's better,' said The Unknown. 'Good to see you again. Now, Hirad tells me you can understand most of what I'm saying but that you can't speak right now. Can you indicate that you've understood me?'

Thraun nodded, making an affirmative grunting noise. The Unknown stared at the ground briefly before looking back up.

'Sorry. I guess I shouldn't talk to you like you're a child, eh?'

A shake of the head.

'What's in there, Thraun? What is it that's stopping you? Part of your wolven self must be obstructing your human mind, mustn't it? What can we do?'

Thraun's face collapsed and he hunched up, eyes moistening, pleading at The Unknown. The big man reached out a hand and clasped Thraun's shoulder for a moment.

'Gods, but I understand like no one else can. Let me tell you something I've not told anyone before.' He moved to a seated position, his back against a tree. The night was quiet but for the warm breeze rustling the leaves above their heads.

'My time as a Protector was mercifully short and a brave mage gave his life to free me and return my soul to me. But in the time I was one, I felt a bond the like of which I didn't think could ever be replaced. It went beyond kinship and love. It was deeper than either though based on both, I suppose. It was something hard to express except to say that it was an utterly binding sense of belonging. No one, I thought, who had not experienced it could understand. And when I was freed, though that was what I wanted desperately, I lost something I assumed was irreplaceable. You might remember how I was in the days after I was released; I don't know.'

The Unknown stopped to gauge Thraun's reaction. The shapechanger was staring at him, eyes wide. Whether it was comprehension, remembrance or just plain incredulity that someone was talking to him this way was unfortunately not clear. At least he had Thraun's attention.

'The point is that I think you're in a similar position to me but the effects are keener because you spent five years as a wolf, not just a few days. The wolf pack gave you a similar bond; they laid their trust in you and you in them. You blame yourself for what happened to them both during the hurricane in Thornewood and on the docks in Arlen.

'And now you've reverted to human form you feel like you're running away. It isn't so. Like me and the Protectors, part of you will always be with the pack that still runs. Hang on to that, but don't let it cloud your mind. Remember it and use it.

'But what I want you to really understand, and I don't know whether you will, is that there is something that gives what you feel you have lost. It took me an age to realise it but it's undeniable. The Raven have that bond. Together we are stronger than we could ever be as a mere group of individuals. We make a difference to each other and in whatever we do. And if you look inside yourself, you know that to be true. Do you understand me?'

For a time Thraun did nothing, just continued to stare. There was a single tear on his left cheek and the frown was back, stamped hard on his forehead. But like a trickle of water finding its way gradually down a window, his face cleared and he sat up. He sucked his top lip and breathed in deeply. He made no move to nod or hint that he knew what The Unknown was talking about but it was there in his expression just the same. The Unknown felt he was struggling to communicate in another way.

'Go on,' he said. 'Try to make the words.'

Thraun opened his mouth, his eyes still searching The Unknown's face, but nothing came save a dry rasp and he snapped his jaws shut angrily.

'It's all right. It'll come. Now listen, because there's something very important I have to tell you. All right?'

Thraun shrugged and exercised his jaws again.

'I know you're frustrated but you'll get there as long as you have faith. The Raven will be with you. We're your family always, and we're your strength any time you need us. And we want you to be with us in whatever comes next, but for that you will have to leave this island.'

Thraun stopped moving.

'The Raven have to leave here to go back home and help with things there that are badly wrong. We can talk about what's happening another day, but for now I want you to think about what you're going to do. To make The Raven complete, we want you to be with us. We are stronger with you and you with us.

'Do you understand that?'

Thraun was staring at the ground and now drew his legs up to his chest, locking them there with his arms. He rocked backwards and forwards gently.

'Thraun?'

He didn't look up but The Unknown thought he saw a fractional nod of the head. It was enough.

'Good, good. I'll leave you now to sleep if you want. Think about what I've said and let me know in whatever way you can what it is you want to do.'

The Unknown pushed himself to his feet, picked up the lantern and limped back towards the house, suddenly dog-tired and craving the arms of Diera.