Even the Dogs

five

They carry his body to the edge of town and throw him into the fire.

What do we do now.

We go with them and we stay with Robert and when someone fetches the doctor’s report we follow to see where they go. And we come to an empty room. Push our way in and sit at the back. What is this place. Long and narrow. Rows of soft blue chairs. A raised platform at the other end of the room with a panelled desk and a heavy carved chair and some coat of arms like a lion and unicorn. A table on one side with a tape machine and a pad of paper. A large wilting spider plant and some spare chairs in the corner. Another table in front of the platform with another pad of paper and a box of tissues. One tissue sticking out ready. A clock on the wall behind us. We shift on our seats. Someone comes in through a door at one side with a jug of water and some plastic beakers and a stack of papers. She arranges the jug and the beakers on the table with the tape machine and she lays the papers out across the panelled desk. Light pours in through the arched windows down one side of the room. Striped by the slanting blinds. Buses rattle past along the main road outside. We hear voices and the door opens and the same woman comes back with the policeman who first found Robert. She shows him where to sit and she leaves. He looks around. He holds a notebook in his lap and crosses his legs. The door opens again and the woman comes in with Laura and shows her where to sit. And she says All rise for the coroner, will the court please rise.

coroner: Thank you. Please be seated.

Before beginning this morning, I’d like to give you some explanation of the inquest process, and of my role as coroner.

This is not a criminal court: no one is on trial today, and no one will be found to be nor accused of being responsible for Mr Robert Radcliffe’s death.

We are here to investigate the facts, and to record them, and to answer four questions which I am legally required to ask: who the deceased person was, where he came by his death, when he came by his death, and how he came by his death. The answers to these questions will constitute the verdict of this inquest. In the course of reaching that verdict I shall be asking witnesses to come to the stand and answer any questions I may have about the circumstances surrounding Mr Radcliffe’s death. The law also allows me to invite what are known as Properly Interested Persons to ask their own questions of those witnesses, should they so wish. For our purposes today Laura Radcliffe will be recognised, as a relative of the deceased, as a Properly Interested Person.

Are there any questions at this stage?

What do we do now. Where do we go. Did any of us think it would be like this. When we started. When Laura started did she think this would. Did she think it would end up here. When she started. When she would try anything. What was it. When she thought she could do anything just to prove that her mum and Paul couldn’t say. When they said We’ve got your best intentions at heart. And all that. But what was it was it that. Takes more than that. Easy to find blame some place but it don’t mean nothing now.

coroner:. . is to ensure that the deceased person is granted a full and open hearing of the facts in a public manner. You may note the absence of journalists or members of the public in court this morning; nevertheless, this is a public court, and what we say here today will be a matter of public record. [Could I just ask, Ms Radcliffe: do you have any objection to me calling you Laura? (Inaudible response.) Thank you.]

We have a responsibility towards the deceased, and I trust that as his daughter, Laura, you will feel that we at the coroner’s court are doing our utmost to uphold that.

I might also add, of course, that whilst we are here to perform an important task we are doing so in the context of the sadness of Mr Radcliffe’s death, and I would like to extend the sympathies of the court to you, Laura, and to thank you for being here at what I know must be a difficult and distressing time.

What do we do now. Where do we go. We sit at the back of the court and we listen to everything they say. We sit in the cold dark room and we wait until someone comes back for his body. They will come back. They have to. Someone has to do something with him now. Take him away. Now they know. We read the reports and we look at the notes and the photographs and we read the transcript of the inquest tucked away in the files. We sit and we look at Laura. In the court. In the front row of these soft blue chairs. Sitting with her hands pressed into her lap, leaning forward to look at the judge. Coroner, judge, whatever. We hear more footsteps in the long corridor outside. Voices. Keys. The door being unlocked. A long metal trolley is pushed into the room and the men who drove the darkened van away from Robert’s flat come to take him away again. Rolling him out from behind the heavy doors and sliding him on to the trolley and signing more forms before they push him out down the corridor to the shuttered doorway and the new day’s sunlight pouring in down the long concrete ramp. We go with them. What else can we do.

coroner:. . on to the first of our four questions: who has died? I quote here from a report prepared by one of my officers.

The identity of the deceased was not immediately apparent upon the discovery of the body: although he was found in his own flat, there was nothing to confirm that he was the listed tenant, nor were any identifying documents found on his body. A number of papers were found in an envelope under the mattress in one of the bedrooms, principally documents connected with the claiming of benefits; however, as they were in more than one person’s name they were of little immediate value.

The next-door neighbour said that she didn’t know any of the names of the people who lived or congregated at the flat, and declined to identify the body. The council housing department stated that the flat was unoccupied and awaiting repairs, the last tenant having been evicted some years previously. The name of this supposedly evicted tenant matched the name on one of the benefits claims documents which had been found in the flat, that of Robert John Radcliffe.

At this point my officers sought the dental records of said Robert Radcliffe, which proved to be unobtainable. Meanwhile, a matching set of fingerprints had been found on the criminal records database, but under another name; a name similar but not identical to another of the names on the benefits claims forms found in the flat.

It was beginning to appear that whilst dying without an identity in a modern bureaucratic country such as ours is exceedingly difficult, dying with multiple identities is all too easy, and equally problematic.

However, further enquiries did eventually lead us to make contact with Laura Radcliffe, who was at that time attending a residential drug rehabilitation centre, and Laura was then able to attend the public mortuary and identify her father’s body, for which difficult duty the court now thanks you, Laura.

So we have the answer to our first question: the deceased’s full name was Robert John Radcliffe, and he was resident at Flat 1, Riverview Gardens, and he was born, according to his birth certificate, on November 12th 1961, in Leeds.

Where did she go. Why did she never go back to the flat when she knew he was waiting. How could she just forget. How could she just let someone else. Was she trying to. Was she making him. We sit and look at his body in the back of the van. We want to ask him but we can’t. Did she go back. Did she see him again. Did she climb in through the window one more time and say Dad I’m back but I didn’t bring nothing I aint got nothing for you. You’ll have to wait for someone else. Is that it. Is that what happened. Did he look up at her and plead with her and say Laura, what the bloody hell is wrong with you I need you to help me. Did she what. Did she look at him for as long as she could bear and say Dad I needed you for a long time didn’t I and where were you. What were you doing. You were just sitting here feeling sorry for yourself and drinking yourself to death with your so-called fucking mates. Or did she only wish she had said that. Is she glad now she didn’t. Did he say Laura love I aint dead yet. Did he say Laura don’t go. Did he say You watch I’ll stop drinking right now. I’ve done it before. If it bothers you that much I’ll stop right now. You watch. Did he. Did she climb back out the window while he still said Laura don’t go what you doing. Was that the last thing she ever saw ever heard him say. Is that it. Can she get that out of her mind now. Can she ever get that out of her.

coroner:. . that his body was discovered in the sitting room of Flat 1, Riverview Gardens, as we shall be hearing from PC Nelson in due course, and that the only door to the flat was bolted from the inside. This might suggest that Mr Radcliffe could only have died in the flat.

However, we’ll also hear that the kitchen window, which overlooks the roof of some garages at the side of the flats, was ajar, and that it would have been possible for someone to enter or exit the flat by that route. And in fact we’ll hear from Laura that she herself had done just that prior to Mr Radcliffe’s death.

So it’s possible that someone could have brought Mr Radcliffe’s body into the flat, bolted the door from the inside, and left via the kitchen window. However, the evidence from the scene supports the suggestion that Mr Radcliffe came by his death in the location where his body was found: there were no inconsistencies between the pattern of decomposition and the position of the body, for example, and there were no marks or bruises on his clothing or body which suggested he had been dragged or carried anywhere after his death.

Furthermore, as Mr Radcliffe was a very substantially built man, it would have been a significant task to have carried or dragged his body any distance following his death; and any suggestion of his body being moved following death would imply foul play, and no evidence of foul play as a cause of death has been found either during post-mortem examination or in the course of the police investigation.

I therefore find that Robert John Radcliffe did in fact come by his death in the sitting room of Flat 1, Riverview Gardens.

Laura sitting in the court trying to listen. Her skin itching and burning. Her hands squeezed between her thighs because once she starts scratching she knows she won’t be able to stop. She should have stayed in the rehab. But there was too much going on. Her dad and everyone else. It was too much to deal with. It weren’t the right time. Be a long time before they let her back in now she’s signed herself out like that. But maybe they. She’s got what mitigating circumstances or something. It’ll be a while but she will. She has to. What else can she do. Can’t keep on like this for ever. Her bones creaking when she shifts in her chair. Did she think when she started it would be like this. Did we. When we all started. Did she see herself here. Did any of us. Did we think ourselves what like blessed like we might just slip through the net. Or what damned and there weren’t no point trying. Was it that. And when her and Danny were lying on the bed together that one time that last time, did she really think she was getting out. Did she think she could sign up for a year in the country and that would be it. She’d be like healed and cleansed and her tears all like wiped away or something more or less like that. That’s what Danny meant was it, when he laughed at her like that, like Laura mate it aint that simple. Takes more than fresh air and talking to get clean and stay clean. Lying on the bed together. Did she even know what he wanted from her all that time. Was it what she liked him but she never. Didn’t they come close once or twice like a bit of messing around but they never. Was it she wouldn’t have minded only it weren’t a priority. Was he on her list of things to do once she was clean. Like college, flat, cup of tea in the morning, Danny. Was it like that. Or was Mike right what he thought. Had she been waiting for Mike all this time. Is she still waiting for him now. All that with the clean white sheets and the smell of coffee and the postman whistling and the big empty house and the cars in the drive. Or was that all Danny and his.

Coroner:. . that the last time she saw her father alive was on the afternoon of the 22nd December, and we will hear from PC Nelson that Mr Radcliffe’s body was discovered on the 31st December.

We can conclude therefore that he came by his death during this nine-day period. The Home Office pathologist has stated that death is likely to have occurred between five and nine days before his body was discovered.

This would put the date of his death at somewhere between the 22nd of December, when he was last seen, and the 26th.

This is as accurate as we are able to be, and this is my finding today.

We look at Robert. We listen to the coroner and we look at the policeman and we stand outside the flat waiting for someone to come and kick down the door. And we want to ask. What was it what happened. What was the last thing you saw. Was it Laura climbing back out the window. Or someone else. Was there. Did Mike come back. Did he bring you anything. Did he try and get. Did he start going on about where you kept your money how you owed him a piece of. And now it’s payback time pal. Is that what. Did he. Not raising his voice or nothing but. Looking you in the eye. Pulling you up to your feet and. Smacking you one in the face and. Was that what. Always seemed like he might do something. Always on the edge that one but it was all. Did he. Did you even have money to give him we want to ask. All the fury and panic in his voice. And his skinny fists. Someone going Do him now get it over with do him now. Was it that. Was it Mike. All those things he says when he gets on one. I will switch on you. I will take you down. If it comes down to it la I will cut out your heart. Clenching his fists and all fucking trembling. Many have tried and many have failed you know what I’m saying I will outwit you all I will outwit you all. All that. I will keep on la if you push me down I will get up again I will keep on getting up again you watch me pal I will rise I will rise I will. All that. Did he say all. Did he climb in the flat and. Was he talking on the phone taking instructions and. But Mike never done nothing like. He talked but he never. Only grievous bodily harm he ever done was on himself. Knives and needles and cigarettes. Cutting and piercing and burning like. But these things he comes out with. Could have been but. Was it. And what did Robert say. If Mike was stood over him like. Was it.

Coroner:. . in answering this question will come from the pathologist’s report, to which I shall refer in due course. Before that, though, I would like to go through, firstly, the circumstances surrounding the discovery of Mr Radcliffe’s body and, secondly, the circumstances of his life in the days and weeks leading up to his death. I therefore call upon our first witness today to come forward.

Court Usher: PC Nelson, please.

Place your left hand on the Bible and repeat the words written on the card.

Pc Nelson: I do solemnly swear that I shall tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God.

Court Usher: Thank you. Please be seated.

Coroner: Thank you. Could you first state your full name and position?

pc Nelson: Thomas Craig Nelson, Police Constable.

Coroner: Thank you. Now, I understand that you were the first officer attending when Mr Radcliffe’s body was discovered on the 31st December of last year?

pc Nelson: That is correct, ma’am. There were two of us attending the property, myself and Sergeant Forbes, but as I was the first to locate the body of the deceased I was given the role of first officer attending.

Coroner: Which is a formal role with certain responsibilities.

pc Nelson: That’s correct.

Coroner: Now, I have in front of me a copy of the report which is based upon your notes from the scene. Perhaps you could read the relevant section of that to the court? From the beginning until the arrival of the SOC officers?

pc Nelson: Certainly. Sergeant Forbes and myself were requested to attend the property at Flat 1, Riverview Gardens, and if necessary to effect an entrance. This followed a report by a neighbour that the residents had not been seen or heard for a period of approximately one week and that other neighbours had commented on a noticeable smell. Upon arrival at the property we knocked repeatedly at the door, without response. We spoke briefly to the neighbour, who made a number of assertions about the resident and his associates, namely that drugs were used at the property and that noise was a frequent problem. We effected an entry via the front door, and commenced an inspection of the property.

I found the body of Mr Radcliffe lying on the floor of what I took to be the living room, and informed my colleague. A preliminary inspection revealed a significant quantity of blood on the floor, and so we immediately retreated from the premises with the intention of preserving any evidence should it prove to be the scene of a crime. We called for a doctor to certify death and SOC officers to examine the scene. We secured the scene using cordon tape, and –

Coroner: Thank you, I think I’ll stop you there. So, you entered the flat — you presumably had to break the door open?

pc Nelson: That’s correct. The door was locked, and bolted from the inside, but it was in a state of some disrepair so was easily –

All these questions we want to ask. But we can’t and. We say nothing. We sit in the van and wait. And the van drives through a gateway and into the backyard of the undertaker’s and they open the doors and carry Robert’s body away. We go with them. With him. What else can we do. They wash his body. Again. No one ever did that for him when he was alive and now. They bring in a coffin. A plain unvarnished plywood coffin. Nothing special. Nothing with trimmings and linings and a craftsman’s attention to. Nothing what no one’s been working on for days in the hot dusty sun with the snoring sound of the saw and the plane and the adze going chuck chuck chuck. Nothing like that for Robert now. Must be the biggest coffin they’ve got though but. With gloved hands they lay him in it. Lay him on the unlined wood. No pillow for his head. No funeral suit to cover his. What is it, shame. Misfortune. No one to pay for a suit he can wear in his. Environmental health paying for this but why would they pay for a suit. No one else. What about Laura. What money has she got anyway. She won’t want. Told them she’s said her goodbyes and all that and she don’t even. And what about Yvonne. Where is she anyway. We look at him in the coffin, his eyes closed and his hands folded awkwardly across his. There are more questions we want to. But we don’t. It’s too. We can’t and they put the lid over him and he’s gone. They screw the lid down and the sound of the electric screwdriver is loud in the room like the technician’s saw when she cut through his.

Coroner:. . report of his post-mortem examination, which I do not propose to disclose in its entirety in court today. Rather, I will pick out the most relevant points and then highlight the pathologist’s conclusion.

Firstly, toxicology tests on blood samples show no significant levels of alcohol, suggesting that the deceased had not been drinking in the twenty-four to forty-eight hour period prior to his death. The blood tests also found no evidence of cocaine or heroin or other what we might call recreational drugs.

Secondly and conversely, analysis of the liver itself shows extensive cirrhosis, which histological analysis shows to have been caused by alcohol; this indicates that the deceased had in general consumed excessive amounts of alcohol over a prolonged period of time. In the opinion of the pathologist, the blood found on the floor of the flat, and in the kitchen sink, is most likely to have resulted from vomiting caused by the advanced cirrhosis. Blood was found in the trachea, large airways and lungs, showing that Mr Radcliffe probably aspirated blood and vomit into his lungs prior to death.

Thirdly, examination of the lungs shows destruction of the airspaces, caused by prolonged exposure to cigarette smoke, which would have led to pronounced shortness of breath.

Fourthly, the pathologist found evidence of advanced heart disease, and narrowing of the coronary arteries by approximately seventy to eighty per cent. In simple terms, this means that the arteries supplying blood to the heart had become narrowed by fatty deposits, greatly depriving the heart muscle of oxygen and nutrients, which may have contributed to his death.

Fifthly, the pathologist found no food in Mr Radcliffe’s digestive system, suggesting that Mr Radcliffe hadn’t eaten anything for a period of approximately twenty-four to forty-eight hours before his death. This would not have been a cause of death — the human body can survive for much longer periods without food — but it’s quite possible that he had become weakened as a result.

Sixthly, there was extensive bruising found to Mr Radcliffe’s body, and some to his face. In the pathologist’s opinion, this bruising is consistent with that caused by falls rather than with acts of violence against him. The pathologist also notes the lack of defence injuries, and notes that there is no evidence of violence or struggle at the scene of death.

The final point made by the pathologist is something of an aside, in that there is no evidence of it being a contributory factor to Mr Radcliffe’s death. A fragment of metal was discovered in Mr Radcliffe’s skull, just behind his left ear. The pathologist also found what appeared to be an entry wound for this fragment, which was well healed and appeared to be a number of years old. Although the pathologist finds no evidence of this directly contributing to Mr Radcliffe’s death, he does note that a previous head injury can be a risk factor in alcohol withdrawal related seizure, which I’ll come on to in a moment.

The pathologist concludes that a number of factors may have caused or contributed to Mr Radcliffe’s death: chronic lung disease, the coronary artery disease, the bleeding from the gullet entering into the lungs, the lack of food and shortness of breath putting pressure on an already overworked heart. He also notes that Mr Radcliffe appears to have stopped drinking in the days prior to his death, and comments that it is known for long-term alcoholics who abruptly stop drinking to suffer epileptic seizure leading to death as a result. However, there is no way of ascertaining whether this has occurred from a post-mortem examination, and so the pathologist is only able to note the possibility.

This concludes my account of the pathologist’s report.

Before using these findings as a basis for the answer to our fourth question in court today, I would like to examine the circumstances around Mr Radcliffe’s death a little more closely. I therefore call our second witness this morning.

All these questions. Why did she ever go back and see her dad that first time. What took her back. What was so wrong with living at home. With her mum. With Paul. It was different though things had changed had they. When they first left Robert they lived with her nan for a while. And she liked her nan. She was close to her nan was she. Kept saying how good it was to have them back. Kept saying she’d always known Robert was trouble and they were much better off now. With her. And even when they moved into their own place her nan gave it all I’ll always be here for you you know that don’t you I’ll always be here. And then Paul. What. Stopping around the place more and more and then he was just there. And then her nan didn’t come round and they didn’t go round there and that was that. Who can you trust. Who can you fucking. And later Paul started going I don’t expect you to call me Dad that’s entirely up to you but I hope you’ll remember who’s been here all these years. And if she’d stayed at home. If she’d gone back to. The way all this came out when they were sitting around in their groups at that rehab place. Hadn’t thought about any of that for years and then. Had she. If she’d gone back to her mum’s. Would she. Was it just that she wanted to know. Was that all. Or did something else. Jesus. Laura sitting in the coroner’s court and all the questions they didn’t. Like. What did your father mean to you. Why did you ever go back to him then. What was it your mum did or didn’t do. And what about Paul. And what took you back to your father’s the second time. Once you’d seen him there and you knew. Did you think you could do something. Did you think you could save him. Or were you just desperate by then. After all the. Some kind of defeat or loss or. After those summers full of friends and fields and music and drugs and days and nights stretched out under boundless skies. Thinking nothing could go wrong. Thinking nothing could touch this. And then long winter nights shivering in a van on threatened sites full of mud and tat and travellers with nowhere left to go. Who’d had all the dreaming beaten out of them in that beanfield and given up on hoping for anything more than the next bag. And they called it a battle. First they came for the miners and then they. Could always get good gear but it wasn’t. She wanted. So what was it then she went trailing back to her dad. Thinking he’d what like come running out to meet her while she was still down the other end of the street or something. Was that what she. When instead he couldn’t hardly remember her name.

coroner:. . and you were familiar with the other people who spent time there, and with your father’s daily routine?

laura: Yeah.

coroner: And am I right in understanding that you actually lived in the flat as a child?

laura: Yeah.

coroner: But you moved away with your mother when you were, how old?

laura: Don’t know. Seven.

coroner: And you came back to stay with your father more recently?

laura: Yeah.

coroner: How recently, would you say?

laura: About three years.

coroner: And as far as you’re aware, your father has lived in that flat for the whole period, since you were a child right up until the time of his death.

laura: Yeah.

coroner: And do you know why the council housing department are under the impression that they’d evicted your father some years previous to his death?

laura: Don’t know.

coroner: Were you aware of any attempt being made to evict him, during the time you were there?

laura: No.

coroner: He didn’t talk about it, express any anxiety or concern?

laura: No.

coroner: And you wouldn’t say that the level of his drinking had any connection with any potential eviction or financial difficulty?

laura: Not really, he’d been drinking like that for years anyhow.

coroner: Would you describe him as a heavy drinker?

laura: Don’t know. Depends what you call heavy.

coroner: Well, could you say how much he drank each day, typically?

laura: Depends how much he could get. One or two bottles, I suppose.

coroner: Of what?

laura: Mostly cider.

coroner: A bottle being how much?

laura: Big bottles, three-litre bottles, more if they’re on special.

coroner: Well, I’m not an expert, but I think we can say that between three and six litres of cider a day qualifies as heavy drinking, don’t you?

laura: (inaudible)

coroner: Well, I’m just trying to build up a picture of his general health at the time of his death. The toxicology report, as you’ve heard, found a very low level of alcohol in his bloodstream, although from the state of his liver and what you’ve told us he was quite clearly an alcoholic. Do you know why he hadn’t drunk any alcohol prior to his death?

laura: No.

coroner: He hadn’t said anything about wanting to stop drinking?

laura: No, only (inaudible).

coroner: Only what?

laura: Only, I mean, he knew about me going to rehab, he found out about it like. I told him, I mean. He might have thought, after that, you know.

coroner: He might have decided to do some rehab of his own, you mean?

laura: (inaudible)

coroner: Well, that would only be supposition.

Or was it Ben. Climbing in and. What was it. The way he did that pigeon that time it was like he could do any. The way he joined in on Steve when it weren’t nothing to do with. Just for the kicks. Something wrong with that one. Something wrong in the head. Something always about to boil over and. Where did he go. When he said he’d take the food up there. What did he do with. If he didn’t. And when. Where was Ben. Did he do something. Did he go in looking for money or looking for something else. Just for the kicks. Robert looking at him like he was still a boy like he wouldn’t do no harm. Taking the punches like they weren’t no matter. Was it. But Ben wouldn’t chance it on. Robert was sick but he was still a big. Did he. Watching the boy scramble out through the window and laughing and reaching for another drink but there weren’t no drinks there. Or he had one drink left and he kept putting it back. Putting it back in the. Going if Laura can do it so can. I’ll show. Who does she think. All high and mighty moral. When she’s just a. If she can. And a pain somewhere. And coughing and coughing and finding blood in his hands when he was. And coughing more blood. And going to the kitchen sink and watching the blood spew out. Going Christ what’s happening now. The blood on his. And shaking. Fucking. Hands clattering against the bloody sink and just. A pain somewhere. In his shoulder. In his neck. In his chest. Back in the sitting room and just these fucking tremors. Stretching his arms up to give. Reaching for something up above his head. Reaching out his arms going Christ I can’t breathe here what’s going on. Or not even a chance to say that or say nothing at all. Christ what’s going on.

coroner:. . need to speak aloud for the tape, Laura, rather than just shaking your head.

laura: No.

coroner: Did he eat adequately, as far as you’re aware?

laura: Yeah. He ate loads.

coroner: Did he cook for himself?

laura: No, he got stuff from the garage, sandwiches and crisps and whatever. Or he got takeaway stuff, chips and pizzas, curries, stuff like that. People got it for him.

coroner: People bought him food?

laura: Sometimes, or he gave them the money. It was like in return for letting them use the flat.

coroner: He gave people money to buy him food?

laura: Yeah.

coroner: They didn’t steal it, or take advantage somehow?

laura: Sometimes. But if they did they never came back.

coroner: It sounds as though your father had sufficient money for his needs.

laura: Yeah. He had a few things going on. (Interruption to proceedings. Late arrival of member of public.)

court usher: This is Mr Mike Crossley, ma’am.

coroner: Thank you. If you could take your place, Mr Crossley. Thank you. Now, if we can continue, Laura. Was your father often alone in the flat?

laura: No. Hardly ever. There was always people around. He liked having people around.

coroner: And who were these people? Was it always the same group of people?

laura: (inaudible)

coroner: I’m sorry, could you repeat that?

laura: Thing is like, I’m not being funny or nothing but I’ve already said all this to the police. Haven’t you got their report or something? Can’t you just like refer to it and that?

coroner: Well, as I said before, this is a court of public record, and –

laura: Yeah, I know but –

coroner: And we do need to address all these facts in full before we can conclude the inquest. I’m happy to take a break if you’d like, however.

laura: No, it’s all right, whatever, carry on.

coroner: Thank you. So, when did you last see your father?

laura: Before Christmas. A few days before Christmas.

coroner: And this was the occasion on which you entered the flat by climbing up on to the garage roof and in through the kitchen window?

laura: Yeah.

coroner: And why did you need to enter the flat that way?

laura: Because he’d bolted the door and couldn’t get out of his chair to come and open it, said he was ill or something.

coroner: Were you concerned about this?

laura: Not really. There was always something wrong with him, he was always coughing or puking or falling over or something. Didn’t make much odds if he couldn’t get out of his chair one day. Seen worse, you get me?

coroner: And there were four of you on this occasion, the last time you saw your father?

laura: Yeah.

coroner: And the other three were?

laura: Don’t really matter now does it.

coroner: I’m aware of the unfortunate circumstances of this inquest, Laura, but I would be very grateful if we could get these details on to the public record.

laura: Yeah right, whatever. (Expletive) It was me and Danny and Mike and Ben.

coroner: And by Mike I take it you mean Mr Crossley here?

laura: (inaudible)

coroner: I’ll note for the tape that you’ve nodded agreement. And at this point I would like to acknowledge the presence of Mr Mike Crossley in the court today. Ordinarily I would expect to call you as a witness, Mr Crossley, but as you were involved in a road traffic accident on the 27th December, and medical evidence supplied to me asserts that you have no recollection of the weeks prior to your accident, or indeed subsequent to it when you in fact spent five weeks in an induced coma, I see little benefit in asking you to testify. I do however thank you for your presence here today, albeit as a latecomer, and your stated willingness to be of assistance. I appreciate that your physical condition hasn’t made it easy for you to attend. Now, Laura, if we could continue.

We see Mike. And he says Eh now pal I’ll be off now then. I got some things I need to. I got a bus to. And we turn and. We see Mike still talking on his phone. Striding out into the middle of the road. His long coat swinging around his. Going I knew this kid at school and he. If they wanted to get a little closer to the truth the double the. Let me tell you a secret pal I’ve got all sorts up in this. Just so long as you. Road traffic accident is one word for it. More like bosh catch that bus in the face you know what I’m saying pal you know what. Step out in the middle of the road and. Couldn’t even get that right. When it came down to. Going too slow and caught it at an angle. The look on the driver’s face. Woke up all them weeks later giving it all Where am I where am I. Nurses were good but they weren’t actually angels you know what I’m. Weren’t no closer to heaven than before and weren’t no closer to the other place neither. You know what I’m. I’ve like descended to the. And come back to tell. So what am I meant to do now like. What’s the plan now Mikey pal. Got to have a plan. Takes like resourcefulness and. Takes a lot of. He keeps muttering away like this. Over his shoulder. Down Barford Street and through the markets. Over the footbridge and under the underpass and on up the hill towards the playing fields and the flats. Heading back to the flat because where else can he. Going slow. Two crutches and his legs wrapped in bandages. Crying out each time his foot hits the floor. Keeps going though but. Dragging his feet and leaning all his weight on those metal sticks. Keeps turning to look behind him, down near his ankles, like he thinks there’s a dog or a pack of hungry dogs coming after. But there’s nothing. What was he trying to. Did he think he could get out that. Did he think that was a way of getting away from. Couldn’t even get that right and instead he’s here now listening to all these questions and. What does he know. How much does he. Talking on the phone. And his long coat swinging around his. And Laura sitting in the court waiting for all the questions to come to an end.

coroner:. . four of you entered the flat by the kitchen window, and stayed there, what, the rest of the day?

laura: A few hours, I suppose.

coroner: And what did you do while you were there?

laura: Stuff. You know.

coroner: You took drugs?

laura: (laughter) No comment like.

coroner: I appreciate that you don’t want to create any problems for yourself, Laura, but it is important that we get a clear picture of what happened that day. It is the last time we know of that anyone saw your father alive. So, let me rephrase the question — were drugs taken in the flat that afternoon?

laura: Yeah. Suppose.

coroner: Which drugs?

laura: Smack. Crack.

coroner: And did your father take any of these drugs?

laura: No. He never did. Never wanted to.

coroner: No, as would appear to be supported by the pathologist’s report. But he had no objection to others taking drugs on the premises?

laura: No.

coroner: Now. You’ve said in your statement to the police that when you left the flat it was because your father had asked you to buy some food and some alcohol for him, is that correct? And food for his dog?

laura: Yeah.

coroner: And he gave you the money for this?

laura: Yeah.

coroner: And you’ve said that you went to the petrol station on the city side of the ring road to buy food and drink for him, and for the dog, yes?

laura: Yeah.

coroner: All four of you went?

laura: No, just me and Mike.

coroner: And the other two?

laura: They went off to score. To buy drugs.

coroner: So. You and Mike went to buy the food and drink for your father, but according to your statement, you didn’t immediately deliver it to him.

laura: (inaudible)

coroner: I’ll note for the tape that you’ve shaken your head, and take that as a no. You say you were, and I quote, a bit sidetracked.

laura: (inaudible)

coroner: Can you tell me what you mean by a bit sidetracked? Did anyone deliberately impede you from delivering the food and drink you’d purchased?

laura: (inaudible)

coroner: Laura?

laura: (expletive)

coroner: Laura, would you prefer to take a short break at this stage?

laura: (inaudible) No. No one deliberately done nothing. I went off and done some gear and forgot about it for a bit. All right?

coroner: I see.

laura: We went off to the garage and bought the stuff, and when we came out Mike just done one, just like scattered up the road. Didn’t say nothing and I weren’t that bothered anyway. He does that sometimes. He’s a bit like unpredictable and that. No offence, Mike. (Inaudible interjection from the court.) I headed back up to the flat, but I bumped into Danny, and he’d just scored, and I was just suddenly desperate for a bit so I told Danny he could come and use my room at the hostel if he split his share of the gear with me. I was going to take the food up to the flat after but I forgot.

coroner: And did you regularly take drugs in the hostel? It’s not permitted, is it?

Nothing but questions in that place. In the rehab. Asking questions about way back. About families and. Sitting around in a circle in a room full of books and flipcharts with the breeze blowing through and the beech trees on the long sloping lawn outside. Posters on the wall going all like Today is the first day of the rest of your whatever. Some bloke going Let’s talk about your family now shall we. Are you angry about what happened. Who do you blame do you blame yourself. And what about your mother. How did you feel when her new partner moved in. What was it that made you leave home when you did. All these questions. And sitting there looking at the floor and biting her nails and looking out at the trees and the sloping lawn. Too much to think about. Too much to say. Going How do you think I felt. And the smart bastard going Well, Laura, it’s not about me is it now. Didn’t say nothing that first time. But thinking it over. A lot of time for thinking it over in there. And another day saying I just wanted to see for myself after everything my mum had told me about him. Saying She lied to me about other stuff so I thought she’d been lying about him and about them and about why we left. And another day going I thought he’d make me feel better about myself or something like. And everyone else in the circle mumbling agreement with her. Like they knew anything about. But that’s what it was like. Supportive and that. Patting everyone on the back for going And then he raped me or whatever. When who knew. Looking for answers and that, and the guidance bloke going Mmm I think we’ve made some real progress today. And Laura going When she said her and Paul were going to emigrate and they already had jobs lined up and they wanted me to go with them I was so angry I couldn’t believe it I was so. And someone else in there going What I miss most about the gear what I struggle most with now is I have to think about things I have to remember things. At least before it was all blocked out. I can take the rattles it’s just the dealing with stuff I can’t deal with. And everyone clapping like that was headline news or something. Like a revelation and. Someone else going It’s like when you’re on the gear all your emotions and memories are blocked up it’s like being constipated in a way and after a while it gets more comfortable like that like you don’t even want the shit to come out. And everyone laughing and clapping. And another day Laura going Thing was even though he was in such a state and what my mum had said was true I think I stuck around because at least he was honest and stuff you get me. The others in the circle going Well done, Laura. Looking out at the leaves and the blossom on the trees and the birds on the sloping lawn. A police car coming up the driveway. And then someone asking for her. Someone talking about her dad. And what was he thinking then. Lying on his back with one hand reaching out behind him and the other scrabbling away at the floor. Tell us that. Will you tell us that. Looking up at the ceiling. And did his life. Flash before his eyes and all that or what. What was there to. Sitting in that chair all those. What was he thinking can you tell will you tell.

laura:. . on a reducing script since August or something, it was part of my order, and I was like basically clean and that, I was down to like fifteen mil. I was booked into rehab for the New Year, no one else knew about it apart from my keyworker and them lot. None of the others knew only they knew I’d been on the script.

coroner: But on this occasion you decided to take some, what, some heroin?

laura: Yeah. I just fancied one last go. And Danny had enough to spare.

coroner: So you went to your room in the hostel, took the drugs, and forgot to deliver the food until, when, the next day?

laura: I never took it.

coroner: You didn’t take the heroin?

laura: No I mean I never took the food up to him.

coroner: No, but in your statement you say you remembered about it the next day, and asked someone else to take it to your father’s flat for you?

laura: Yeah.

coroner: And who did you ask exactly?

laura: Ben. I was scared I was going to lose my rehab place on account of doing the gear again so I was running around looking for my keyworker to get it sorted, and I found Ben hanging around by the hostel waiting for someone, so I gave him the bag of food and asked him to take it up there. He said he was going up there anyway. I thought it’d be all right. And I weren’t worried because I thought someone would have been up there by then anyway, I thought like Heather or Jamesie or Maggie or someone would have been up there and sorted him out. There’s always people up there usually.

coroner: But it seems that no one had been there.

laura: No.

The men leave and we stand around the silent sealed box. Night passes and the morning. There are eight of them now. Black suits and black shoes and black leather gloves. They slide him into the back of the van. Three of them climbing into the seats in the front and five of them getting into another car and driving out of the courtyard and out through the gates and out along the main road beside the river which leads to the edge of town. We go with them. What else can we. And what about Heather why didn’t she come. Why didn’t she go to the flat to help. Did she. Was she there. Did she really go knocking on the door. Banging on the door going Robert open up the door. Shouting in the letterbox and pressing her face up against the filthy glass. Was she there. And when she went off looking for the others or. Off for Christmas dinner at the day centre. Did she forget to say anything to anyone. Or did she think. What. Something like sort of fuck him or serve him right. Did she. Don’t it matter now. Did it. Where has she. Who. And when we get to the crematorium the men step out of the car and stand around and wait for the previous service to end. The mourners filing out through the wide glass doors into the gardens on the other side of the building and behind them the tall thin chimney begins to smoke. The men slide Robert’s coffin from the back of the van and heave him up on to their shoulders. And not even Laura is here. No one is here. The tall thin chimney begins to. And we could be heaving him up on to our own shoulders but we’re too late for that now. We could be throwing flowers and blowing trumpets and singing low mournful songs as he is carried in through the doors of the chapel on the broad black-suited shoulders of men who barely know his name. But we’re not and no one is and no one will and it’s too late for any of that now. And not even Laura is here. Not even Yvonne is here. But she’s miles away now. They carry him up the aisle to the front of the chapel. And with a count of three they drop him from their shoulders and lower him on to a conveyor belt in front of a pair of red curtains and they turn to leave. We stand in a huddle at the back by the. What else can we. The vicar stands at the front in his robes. Holding the service book open and watching the men walking away and when they get to the door he calls them back. He says Am I missing something. They look at him. He says Can you see anyone else. They look down at their. He says I’m not going to stand here and see this man off by myself. He says Is there somewhere more important you. And they turn and walk back up the aisle and take their seats. And the vicar begins. We are gathered here today. All these people going out of their way to treat him right now. After he’s. When before they never even.

coroner:. . seems that neither Ben nor anyone else delivered the food.

laura: No. I don’t know. I don’t know what happened after that.

coroner: No, indeed. The police have been unable to track down anyone who did see your father after the time you left the flat, and the neighbour who called them to the premises was unable to recall hearing any visitors after the date she says she saw you and your friends climbing in through the kitchen window. And following your statement to the police, the photographic records of the scene were reviewed and no evidence of the items you described purchasing at the garage could be found. So we must conclude, as we are sadly unable to ask Ben in person, that for whatever reason he didn’t or wasn’t able to deliver the food.

laura: (inaudible) (expletive)

coroner: I think we’ll leave that line of questioning there; it’s unlikely to shed any more light on the cause of your father’s death and I can see it is causing you some distress, for which I can only apologise.

Are you happy for us to continue, or would you prefer to take a break?

laura: (inaudible)

coroner: Thank you. I have no further questions. If you’d like to return to your seat I shall attempt to conclude our examination of the fourth question I referred to in my introduction.

laura: (inaudible)

coroner: Did you have anything further you wanted to add?

laura: (inaudible)

coroner: No. Right then. Thank you. I’ll move on.

Quite simply, we do not and cannot know exactly why Mr Radcliffe died. We can say that there is no evidence of anyone else having been involved, and so no evidence of a criminal act being responsible for his death. We can say that he was in a state of very poor health as a result of his lifestyle, diet and alcoholism. We can say that the condition of his liver, heart and lungs could all have contributed to his death. And we can note the pathologist’s remark that a sudden cessation of drinking by long-term alcoholics has been known to result in epileptic seizure, although we cannot say whether this is what happened to Mr Radcliffe.

We might be tempted to speculate as to the reasons why Mr Radcliffe abruptly stopped drinking, and what effects this may have had on his body. We might want to speculate as to why, when the food and drink he was expecting to be brought to him didn’t arrive, he failed to venture out and fetch some for himself. We might even want to speculate as to just how he came to be living in quite the degree of self-neglect and squalor he did, and why those around him felt this to be acceptable.

But none of this speculation would be relevant, or admissible, and none of it would help us reach a verdict today, or indeed give us any clearer a picture of the last moments of Mr Radcliffe’s life. Ultimately, the exact mechanics and circumstances of his death will remain a mystery to us. And sadly this is often the –

And so did his life flash before his. Did he lie there looking up at the cracked and ruined ceiling thinking over. Or not even thinking just seeing. From the beginning. A child in his mother’s. First memories of food and love and fights and shouting and playing and slamming doors. First thoughts of what of leaving home of finding someone to. Walking through the city in the middle of the night with a headful of drink and talk and the miles jolting by beneath his feet and the lights sliding. Finding Yvonne waiting for him outside the pub and what she. Later that night and again the next. Lining up outside the job centre and ending up in the army office. Training and marching and fighting and sleeping in a room with a dozen others. Crawling in the mud. Stripping engines and guns and new recruits. Weeks at sea heading south. The bullets the bombs the one explosion next to his head and the hours stretched out in the long wet grass while the troopships burnt brightly in the grey unsheltered bay. These things whirling through him as what not memories but as moments lived whirling through him while he lay there on the floor. Is that what happened. And did he remember or see or live again all the times with Yvonne. When he came back from the real crisis and they moved into the flat and he found a job and they decorated the flat together and made it theirs. When Laura was born and he lost his job and he kept drinking and drinking until they left. And the pain in his fucking head. And the sound of the softly closing door. And the way she shouted at him and her voice seemed so far away. The way she would stub out her cigarette and push him on to his back for another go and the way she kept going on at him to find another job and he said What can I do there’s nothing going what can I do and this pain in my fucking head. And some days that feeling. Like a snared animal flailing around and making it worse. If he kept moving he could bear it but he couldn’t get out. And the thing that undone him. When she said I don’t understand you, Robert, and I’m never going to this isn’t what I wanted this isn’t what I want no more. Speaking quietly for once while he just sat there trying not to. This one moment whirling through his head the most as he lay there looking at the ceiling plaster crumble and fall. Was it that. Is that what happened. Did he see or remember or live all these things again. Like a lifetime in a moment. Like a dream of hours poured into. Is that what happens. Is that what happens to us all. When we. Did he see Penny waiting for him to wake. Did he see Danny climb in through the window. Did he see the police creep into the room and light him up. Taking pictures and measurements and putting bags over his head and his hands. Did he see us standing there watching and everything that happened to us before we arrived. Did he see us sitting here now. Is it this. Is this what happens. In the last moment. Is this what’s happening to us now. Is this what all this is. Like We are gathered here today.

Is this what all we are seeing now. What Steve sees as he lies on the mattress in his whitewashed room. Ant lying beside him, stiffening and slackening and falling quiet, H waiting for them both to wake, Danny standing in the yard and calling up and throwing stones through the window, that woman Marianne or Marie and the smoke rising from the village and the policeman saying Even the dogs. And the way he fell from the Land Rover while it raced along the track outside Stanley, thinking What kind of war wound is this when the fighting had all been done before he even got off the ship, the fight with Robert and the fights after dark at school and watching the police creep down the hall to where Robert lay and Ant going Look I’ll show you what the fuss is all about. And is this what Ben sees as he crouches behind the bins in the carpark basement, the three days rattling in the cells, the way he’d taken Jamesie down in the day centre and the way Mike had disappeared before the police arrived, and himself white-eyed and blue-lipped going over. And Robert being carried out to the van. And his sister slapping him round the face going What did you ever do, and that bloke who paid to take him home and tried to, all that, and Mike giving him that warning, all that It’s for your own protection la but you’ll need to ease off with that mouth of yours else something might, and what Heather did, so what, and is this what Danny sees, curled up on the phonebox floor, the daylong march around town with no one around and Einstein chasing along at his feet, and slamming the door on Laura’s room, and climbing out of the flat with her, and his brother pushing him back out the door and his brother holding him up one time when he was sick all over his bathroom floor, his brother holding him tight, and Robert on the floor, and Robert in the bodybag, and Robert with his chest cut open on the table, and Laura sitting straight-backed in the court with her hands wedged between her thighs, and is this what Heather sees, kneeling beside her bed with the long white curtains blowing into the room and her heart slowed to a stop and the blood all sinking down towards the floor, Danny buzzing away on the intercom and shouting up at the window, her front door crashing in when they came for her kids, the time up on stage when the band let her play, the crowd, the way the crowd looked at her, Jimmy saying Best not tell anyone I’m stopping here though, the judge saying But while you allow your partner to remain in the house, and all those years on the road, and waking up with that tattoo, and Robert being carried in through the chapel door, and the four of them it took to hold her back against the wall, and everything she did to get rid of that and she still sees it all roaring through her now, and is this what Mike sees, all of this, every last moment, as he strides out into the road with his phone pressed against his ear, going No you listen to me pal you listen to me what have you done, what have you gone and done this time, I’ve been looking everywhere and I can’t find no one now they’ve all gone, what’s happened, what have you gone and done, and what about Laura, what about that girl, what have you done to her now, well youse can all stop talking now I feel much better now thank you now I got a bus to catch. And is all this what he sees as he lies there in the hospital bed. Wires and tubes coming out of his body and his shattered bones twisting back. Like healing. And his eyes closed for weeks and some machine going beep and ping and keeping him comatose so his body can. While these visions go surging through his blood. All this. Is it. Is that what all this.

And the red curtains part and the coffin rolls away. There’s no music. Who would choose the. The vicar closes his book and thanks the men and they stand and walk away. We follow Robert’s coffin. What else can we. On the other side of the curtains. We see two technicians. Opening a heavy steel hatch and rolling the coffin through. Sealing it shut. Turning dials and pressing buttons and standing aside to let us watch through a thick glass panel as the flames begin to rise. Blue and orange jets of fire in long straight rows. Like an oven. Tongues of fire. And the thin wood of the coffin quickly chars and smoulders and crumbles into ash around his body, and his flesh spits and cooks in the roaring furnace heat, melting around his bones which splinter and crack in the blinding firelight. Outside the tall thin chimney. Footsteps and voices and organ music in the chapel as the next group of. Minutes pass. Little more. What’s left of him. The burning. Charred pieces of bone and. The technicians open the door and rake over the embers and fire up the furnace again. The blue flames burn cleanly now. They rake the ashes through a grille and into a steel pan to cool. They set them aside. What’s left of him. And what do we do now.

We sit at the back of the court. And we watch Mike. Struggling to his feet. His crutches crashing against the chairs in front as he hauls himself to his. The court usher saying If you could just. Laura with a hand over. And Mike going I’ve had enough of this pal I’m. I’ll see you around I’ll. Dragging his feet across the. And everyone. And crying out each time his foot. The door closing behind him and the room still ringing with his presence and we watch Laura. The tilt of her head as she watches the coroner gather her. And she realises there are no more. But what about. Everything else she needs to know. Everything else she wants. But she won’t. It’s not. It’s what is it outside the remit of the court. Isn’t it always. Aren’t we always outside the remit. We watch. Pushing her hair back behind her. Rubbing her hands on her. Where will she go now. What will she. Leave town and. Stick to her script and wait for another place in. Will they let her have another. And that keyworker what can he. Will she get up again. What else can she. Will she keep getting up again. And will she wake up in the morning and think about making a cup of tea. Putting on the kettle and waiting for it to boil. Finding a mug and a teabag and. Is there space in her head for. Watching the teabag rise to the surface and turn and fall. Can she give herself the time. Is she halfway there and. Waiting for the tea to brew. Scooping out the bag and dropping it in the bin and stirring in the milk. Can she make plans now. Is there space in her head for. Sitting at the table with the steam rising out of the mug and catching the light and turning in the air.

And Mike still struggling down the street. His two crutches scraping along the ground. And crying out. Huh hah huh. A crowd of pigeons scattering at the sound of his voice and circling overhead. Settling on a rooftop and rising and circling and settling again and Mike going. Huh. Hah. Huh.

The coroner signs something and stamps some documents with an inky thud. And stands up and. Smiles at Laura one more time and glances at the. And the policeman already getting to his feet as she steps down from the bench with the file of papers under her arm and the usher says All rise will the court please.

We rise. What else can we do, we fucking rise.