Eyes Wide Open (aka Killing Hour)

Author’s Note

This much is true: On the morning of July 26, 2009, my twenty-five-year-old nephew Alex-bipolar and severely troubled for most of his brief life-was found on the jagged rocks at the bottom of the six-hundred-foot-high Morro Bay Rock. He’d either jumped or fallen some time during the night.

The day before, Alex had been released from a hospital mental health ward into the care of a small halfway facility, just like the character Evan in this book. Only three days earlier Alex had been taken into custody after a violent episode at his home, which, truth be told, was not the calmest of environments. Alex’s body was found with no identification on it; he was processed by the local police and the morgue as a John Doe for almost two days until his parents were notified of his death. And wrenchingly, as in the book, they did hear the story of the then-unidentified youth who jumped off the rock on the news, only to learn a day later that it was their own son. And like Evan, my nephew’s left Nike hightop sneaker was never found.

While questions still remain about what happened to Alex, such as issues related to his care, whether he jumped or fell, what was in his mind when he left the halfway house, instead of answers, all I have at my disposal is fiction. If you want to learn more of the background or information related to the real story of what happened to my nephew, including photos, family blogs, etc., I hope you will go to alexwemissyou.com.

This book is for Michael and Suzanne, but it is also for anyone who has suffered the loss of a child. As a father myself, I wince every time I relive this true family story during the writing-and still do every time it comes to mind. This book is my brief anthem of remembrance to a life that didn’t turn out as anyone had hoped. And having been present at Alex’s birth, having seen him that first day in all the beautiful promise that any new life holds, I am also reminded that, like a lot of us, I could have done more.

To the people who had a hand in its writing: Dr. Greg Zorman and Dr. Elizabeth Frost for medical advice; Roy Grossman, Brooke Martinez, and my wife, Lynn, early readers of the drafts; Henry Ferris and David Highfill, my editors at William Morrow, whose dual efforts made this tale come to life so much more compellingly; and to the rest of the team who took it from there; and to Simon Lipskar, for his usual insights and council, I give you my deepest thanks.

This book was a totally different kind of story for me to write, and all of you have made it easier and far better.