Fancies and Goodnights

MARY

There was in those days — I hope it is there still — a village called Ufferleigh, lying all among the hills and downs of North Hampshire. In every cottage garden there was a giant apple tree, and when these trees were hung red with fruit, and the newly lifted potatoes lay gleaming between bean-row and cabbage-patch, a young man walked into the village who had never been there before.

He stopped in the lane just under Mrs. Hedges's gate, and looked up into her garden. Rosie, who was picking the beans, heard his tentative cough, and turned and leaned over the hedge to hear what he wanted. «I was wondering,» said he «if there was anybody in the village who had a lodging to let»

He looked at Rosie, whose cheeks were redder than the apples, and whose hair was the softest yellow imaginable. «I was wondering,» said he in amendment, «if you had.»

Rosie looked back at him. He wore a blue jersey such as seafaring men wear, but he seemed hardly like a seafaring man. His face was brown and plain and pleasant, and his hair was black. He was shabby and he was shy, but there was something about him that made it very certain he was not just a tramp. «I'll ask,» said Rosie.

With that she ran for her mother, and Mrs. Hedges came out to interview the young man. «I've got to be near Andover for a week,» said he, «but somehow I didn't fancy staying right in the town.»

«There's a bed,» said Mrs. Hedges. «If you don't mind having your meals with us —»

«Why, surely, ma'am,» said he. «There's nothing I'd like better.»

Everything was speedily arranged; Rosie picked another handful of beans, and in an hour he was seated with them at supper. He told them his name was Fred Baker, but, apart from that, he was so polite that he could hardly speak, and in the end Mrs. Hedges had to ask him outright what his business was. «Why, ma'am,» said he, looking her straight in the face, «I've done one thing and another ever since I was so high, but I heard an old proverb once, how to get on in the world. 'Feed 'em or amuse 'em,' it said. So that's what I do, ma'am. I travel with a pig.»

Mrs. Hedges said she had never heard of such a thing.

«You surprise me,» said he. «Why, there are some in London, they tell me, making fortunes on the halls. Spell, count, add up, answer questions, anything. But let them wait,» said he, smiling, «till they see Mary.»

«Is that the name of your pig?» asked Rosie.

«Well,» said Fred, shyly, «it's what I call her just between ourselves like. To her public, she's Zola. Sort of Frenchified, I thought. Spicy, if you'll excuse the mention of it. But in the caravan I call her Mary.»

«You live in a caravan?» cried Rosie, delighted by the doll's-house idea.

«We do,» said he. «She has her bunk, and I have mine.»

«I don't think I should like that,» said Mrs. Hedges. «Not a pig. No.»

«She's as clean,» said he, «as a new-born babe. And as for company, well, you'd say she's human. All the same, it's a bit of wandering life for her — up hill and down dale, as the saying goes. Between you and me I shan't be satisfied till I get her into one of these big London theatres. You can see us in the West End!»

«I should like the caravan best,» said Rosie, who seemed to have a great deal to say for herself, all of a sudden.

«It's pretty,» said Fred. «Curtains, you know. Pot of flowers. Little stove. Somehow I'm used to it. Can't hardly think of myself staying at one of them big hotels. Still, Mary's got her career to think of. I can't stand in the way of her talent, so that's that»

«Is she big?» asked Rosie.

«It's not her size,» said he. «No more than Shirley Temple. It's her brains and personality. Clever as a wagonload of monkeys! You'd like her. She'd like you, I reckon. Yes, I reckon she would. Sometimes I'm afraid I'm a bit slow by way of company for her, never having had much to do with the ladies.»

«Don't tell me,» said Mrs. Hedges archly, as convention required.

«'Tis so, ma'am,» said he. «Always on the move, you see, ever since I was a nipper. Baskets and brooms, pots and pans, then some acrobat stuff, then Mary. Never two days in the same place. It don't give you the time to get acquainted.»

«You're going to be here a whole week, though,» said Rosie artlessly, but at once her red cheeks blushed a hundred times redder than before, for Mrs. Hedges gave her a sharp look, which made her see that her words might have been taken the wrong way.

Fred, however, had noticed nothing. «Yes,» said he, «I shall be here a week. And why? Mary ran a nail in her foot in the marketplace, Andover. Finished her act — and collapsed. Now she's at the vet's, poor creature.»

«Oh, poor thing!» cried Rosie.

«I was half afraid,» said he, «it was going wrong on her. But it seems she'll pull round all right, and I took opportunity to have the van repaired a bit, and soon we'll be on the road again. I shall go in and see her tomorrow. Maybe I can find some blackberries, to take her by way of a relish, so to speak.»

«Gorsley Bottom,» said Rosie. «That's the place where they grow big and juicy.»

«Ah! If I knew where it was —» said Fred tentatively.

«Perhaps, in the morning, if she's got time, shell show you,» said Mrs. Hedges, who began to feel very kindly disposed toward the young man.

In the morning, surely enough, Rosie did have time, and she showed Fred the place, and helped him pick the berries. Returning from Andover, later in the day, Fred reported that Mary had tucked into them a fair treat, and he had little doubt that, if she could have spoken, she would have sent her special thanks. Nothing is more affecting than the gratitude of a dumb animal, and Rosie was impelled to go every morning with Fred to pick a few more berries for the invalid pig.

On these excursions Fred told her a great deal more about Mary, a bit about the caravan, and a little about himself. She saw that he was very bold and knowing in some ways, but incredibly simple and shy in others. This, she felt, showed he had a good heart.

The end of the week seemed to come very soon, and all at once they were coming back from Gorsley Bottom for the last time. Fred said he would never forget Ufferleigh, nor the nice time he had there.

«You ought to send us a postcard when you're on your travels,» said Rosie.

«Yes,» he said. «That's an idea. I will»

«Yes, do,» said Rosie.

«Yes,» said he again. «I will. Do you know, I was altogether down-hearted at going away, but now I'm half wishing I was on the road again already. So I could be sending that card right away,» said he.

«At that rate,» said Rosie, looking the other way, «you might as well make it a letter.»

«Ah!» said he. «And do you know what I should feel like putting at the bottom of that letter? If you was my young lady, that is. Which, of course, you're not. Me never having had one.»

«What?» said Rosie.

«A young lady,» said he.

«But what would you put?» said she.

«Ah!» said he. «What I'd put. Do you know what I'd put? If — if, mind you — if you was my young lady?»

«No,» said she, «what?»

«I don't hardly like to tell you,» said he.

«Go on,» she said. «You don't want to be afraid.»

«All right,» said he. «Only mind you, it's if.» And with his stick he traced three crosses in the dust

«If I was anybody's young lady,» said Rosie, «I shouldn't see anything wrong in that. After all, you've got to move with the times.»

Neither of them said another word, for two of the best reasons in the world. First, they were unable to; second, it was not necessary. They walked on with their faces as red as fire, in an agony of happiness.

Fred had a word with Mrs. Hedges, who had taken a fancy to him from the start. Not that she had not always looked down upon caravan people, and could have been knocked over with a feather, had anyone suggested, at any earlier date, that she would allow a daughter of hers to marry into such a company. But right was right; this Fred Baker was different, as anyone with half an eye could see. He had kept himself to himself, almost to a fault, for his conversation showed that he was as innocent as a new-born babe. Moreover, several knowledgeable people in the village had agreed that his ambitions for Mary, his pig, were in no way unjustified. Everyone had heard of such talented creatures, reclining on snow-white sheets in the best hotels of the metropolis, drinking champagne like milk, and earning for their fortunate owners ten pounds, or even twenty pounds, a week.

So Mrs. Hedges smilingly gave her consent, and Rosie became Fred's real, genuine, proper young lady. He was to save all he could during the winter, and she to stitch and sing. In the spring, he would come back and they were to get married.

«At Easter,» said he.

«No,» said Mrs. Hedges, counting on her fingers. «In May. Then tongues can't wag, caravan or no caravan.»

Fred had not the faintest idea what she was driving at, for he had lived so much alone that no one had told him certain things that every young man should know. However, he well realized that this was an unusually short engagement for Ufferleigh, and represented a great concession to the speed and dash of the entertainment industry, so he respectfully agreed, and set off on his travels.

My Darling Rosie,

Well here we are in Painswick having had a good night Saturday at Evesham. Mary cleverer than ever that goes without saying now spells four new words thirty-six in all and when I say now Mary how do you like Painswick or Evesham or wherever it is she picks FINE it goes down very well. She is in the best of health and I hope you are the same. Seems to understand every word I say more like a human being every day. Well I suppose I must be getting our bit of supper ready she always sets up her cry for that specially when I am writing to you.

With true love

Fred

XXX

In May the apple trees were an in bloom, so it was an apple-blossom wedding, which in those parts is held to be an assurance of flowery days. Afterwards they took the bus to the market town, to pick up the caravan, which stood in a stable yard. On the way Fred asked Rosie to wait a moment, and dived into a confectioner's shop. He came out with a huge box of chocolates. Rosie smiled all over her face with joy. «For me?» she said.

«Yes,» said he. «To give to her as soon as she claps eyes on you. They're her weakness. I want you two to be real pals.»

«All right,» said Rosie, who was the best-hearted girl in the world.

The next moment they turned into the yard: there was the caravan. «Oh, it's lovely!» cried Rosie.

«Now you'll see her,» said Fred.

At the sound of his voice a falsetto squeal rose from within.

«Here we are, old lady,» said Fred, opening the door. «Here's a friend of mine come to help look after you. Look, she's brought you something you'll fancy.»

Rosie saw a middle-sized pig, flesh-coloured, neat, and with a smart collar. It had a small and rather calculating eye. Rosie offered the chocolates; they were accepted without any very effusive acknowledgment

Fred put the old horse in, and soon they were off, jogging up the long hills to the west. Rosie sat beside Fred on the driving seat; Mary took her afternoon nap. Soon the sky began to redden where the road divided the woods on the far hill-top. Fred turned into a green lane, and they made their camp.

He lit the stove, and Rosie put on the potatoes. They took a lot of peeling, for it seemed that Mary ate with gusto. Rosie put a gigantic rice pudding into the oven, and soon had the rest of the meal prepared.

Fred set the table. He laid three places.

«I say,» said Rosie.

«What?» said Fred.

«Does she eat along with us?» said Rosie. «A pig?»

Fred turned quite pale. He beckoned her outside the caravan. «Don't say a thing like that,» said he. «She won't never take to you if you say a thing like that. Didn't you see her give you a look?»

«Yes, I did,» said Rosie. «All the same — Well, never mind, Fred. I don't care, really. I just thought I did.»

«You wait,» said Fred. «You're thinking of ordinary pigs. Mary's different»

Certainly Mary seemed a comparatively tidy eater. All the same, she gave Rosie one or two very odd glances from under her silky, straw-coloured lashes. She seemed to hock her rice pudding about a bit with the end of her nose.

«What's up, old girl?» said Fred. «Didn't she put enough sugar in the pudden? Never mind — can't get everything right first time.»

Mary, with a rather cross hiccup, settled herself on her bunk. «Let's go out,» said Rosie, «and have a look at the moon.»

«I suppose we might,» said Fred. «Shan't be long, Mary. Just going about as far as that gate down the lane.» Mary granted morosely and turned her face to the wall.

Rosie and Fred went out and leaned over the gate. The moon, at least, was all that it should be.

«Seems funny, being married and all,» said Rosie softly.

«Seems all right to me,» said Fred.

«Remember them crosses you drew in the dirt in the road that day?» said Rosie.

«That I do,» said Fred.

«And all them you put in the letters?» said Rosie.

«All of 'em,» said Fred. «I remember every one.»

«Kisses, that's what they're supposed to stand for,» said Rosie.

«So they say,» said Fred.

«You haven't given me one, not since we was married,» said Rosie. «Don't you like it?»

«That I do,» said Fred. «Only, I don't know —»

«What?» said Rosie.

«It makes me feel an queer,» said Fred, «when I kiss you. As if I wanted —»

«What?» said Rosie.

«I dunno,» said Fred. «I don't know if it's I want to eat you all up, or what»

«Try and find out, they say,» said Rosie.

A delicious moment followed. In the very middle of it a piercing squeal rose from the caravan. Fred jumped as if he were shot.

«Oh, dear!» he cried. «She's wondering what's up. Here I come, old girl! Here I come! It's her bedtime, you see. Here I come to tuck you in!»

Mary, with an air of some petulance, permitted this process. Rosie stood by. «I suppose we'd better make it lights out,» said Fred. «She likes a lot of sleep, you see, being a brain worker.»

«Where do we sleep?» said Rosie.

«I made the bunk all nice for you this morning,» said Fred. «Me, I'm going to doss below. A sack full of straw, I've got»

«But —» said Rosie. «But —»

«But what?» said he.

«Nothing,» said she. «Nothing.»

They turned in. Rosie lay for an hour or two, thinking what thoughts I don't know. Perhaps she thought how charming it was that Fred should have lived so simple and shy and secluded all these years, and yet be so knowing about so many things, and yet be so innocent, and never have been mixed up in bad company — It is impossible to say what she thought.

In the end she dozed off, only to be wakened by a sound like the bagpipes of the devil himself. She sat up, terrified. It was Mary,

«What's up? What's up?» Fred's voice came like the ghost's in Hamlet from under the floor. «Give her some milk,» he said.

Rosie poured out a bowl of milk. Mary ceased her fiendish racket while she drank, but the moment Rosie had blown out the light, and got into bed again, she began a hundred times worse than before.

There were rumblings under the caravan. Fred appeared in the doorway, half dressed and with a straw in his hair.

«She will have me,» he said, in great distress.

«Can't you — Can't you lie down here?» said Rosie.

«What? And you sleep below?» said Fred, astounded.

«Yes,» said Rosie, after a rather long pause. «And me sleep below.»

Fred was overwhelmed with gratitude and remorse. Rosie couldn't help feeling sorry for him. She even managed to give him a smile before she went down to get what rest she could on the sack of straw.

In the morning, she woke feeling rather dejected. There was a mighty breakfast to be prepared for Mary; afterwards Fred drew her aside.

«Look here,» he said. «This won't do. I can't have you sleeping on the ground, worse than a gippo. I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to get up my acrobat stuff again. I used to make a lot that way, and I like it fine. Hand springs, double somersaults, bit of conjuring: it went down well. Only I didn't have time to keep in practice with Mary to look after. But if you'd do the looking after her, we'd make it a double turn, and soon we'd have a good bit of cash. And then —»

«Yes?» said Rosie.

«Then,» said Fred, «I could buy you a trailer.»

«All right,» said Rosie, and turned away. Suddenly she turned back with her face flaming. «You may know a lot about pigs,» she said bitterly. «And about somersaults, and conjuring, and baskets, and brooms and I don't know what-all. But there's one thing you don't know.» And with that she went off and cried behind a hedge.

After a while she got the upper hand of it, and came back to the caravan. Fred showed her how to give Mary her morning bath, then the depilatory — that was very hard on the hands — then the rubbing with Cleopatra Face Cream — and not on her face merely — then the powdering, then the manicuring and polishing of her trotters.

Rosie, resolved to make the best of it, conquered her repugnance, and soon mastered these handmaidenly duties. She was relieved at first that the spoiled pig accepted her ministrations without protest. Then she noticed the gloating look in its eye.

However, there was no time to brood about that. No sooner was the toilet finished than it was time to prepare the enormous lunch. After lunch Mary had her little walk, except on Saturdays when there was an afternoon show, and after the walk she took her rest. Fred explained that during this period she liked to be talked to, and to have her back scratched a bit. Mary had quite clearly decided that in the future she was going to have it scratched a lot. Then she had her massage. Then tea, then another little walk, or the evening show, according to where they were, and then it was time to prepare dinner. At the end of the day Rosie was thankful to curl up on her poor sack of straw.

When she thought of the bunk above, and Fred, and his simplicity, her heart was fit to break. The only thing was, she loved him dearly, and she felt that if they could soon snatch an hour alone together, they might kiss a little more, and a ray of light might dispel the darkness of excessive innocence.

Each new day she watched for that hour, but it didnt come. Mary saw to that. Once or twice Rosie suggested a little stroll, but at once the hateful pig grumbled some demand or other that kept her hard at work till it was too late. Fred, on his side, was busy enough with his practicing. He meant it so well, and worked so hard — but what did it lead to? A trailer!

As the days went by, she found herself more and more the slave of this arrogant grunter. Her back ached, her hands got chapped and red, she never had a moment to make herself look nice, and never a moment alone with her beloved. Her dress was spotted and spoiled, her smile was gone, her temper was going. Her pretty hair fell in elf locks and tangles, and she had neither time nor heart to comb it.

She tried to come to an explanation with Fred, but it was nothing but cross purposes and then cross words. He tried in a score of little ways to show that he loved her, but these seemed to her a mere mockery, and she gave him short answers. Then he stopped, and she thought he loved her no longer. Even worse, she felt she no longer loved him.

So the whole summer went by, and things got worse and worse, and you would have taken her for a gipsy indeed.

The blackberries were ripe again; she found a whole brake of them. When she tasted one, all sorts of memories flooded into her heart. She went and found Fred. «Fred,» she said, «the blackberries are ripe again. I've brought you one or two.» She held out some in her grubby hand. Fred took them and tasted them; she watched to see what the result would be.

«Yes,» said he, «they're ripe. They won't gripe her. Take her and pick her some this afternoon.»

Rosie turned away without a word, and in the afternoon she took Mary across the stubbles to where the ripe berries grew. Mary, when she saw them, dispensed for once with dainty service, and began to help herself very liberally. Rosie, finding she had nothing more urgent to attend to, sat down on a bank and sobbed bitterly.

In the middle of it all she heard a voice asking what was the matter. She looked up, and there was a fat, shrewd, jolly-looking farmer. «What is it, my girl?» said he. «Are you hungry?»

«No,» said she, «I'm fed up.»

«What with?» said he.

«A pig!» said she, with a gulp.

«You've got no call to bawl and cry,» said he. «There's nothing like a bit of pork. I'd have the indigestion for that, any day.»

«It's not pork,» she said. «It's a pig. A live pig.»

«Have you lost it?» said he.

«I wish I had,» said she. «I'm that miserable. I don't know what to do.»

«Tell me your troubles,» said he. «There's no harm in a bit of sympathy.»

So Rosie told him about Fred, and about Mary, and what hopes she'd had and what they'd all come to, and how she was the slave of this insolent, spoiled, jealous pig, and in fact she told him everything except one little matter which she could hardly bring herself to repeat, even to the most sympathetic of fat farmers.

The farmer, pushing his hat over his eyes, scratched his head very thoughtfully. «Really,» said he. «I can't hardly believe it.»

«It's true,» said Rosie, «every word.»

«I mean,» said the farmer, «a young man — a young gal — the young gal sleeping down on a sack of straw — a pretty young gal like you. Properly married and all. Not to put too fine a point on it, young missus, aren't the bunks wide enough, or what?»

«He doesn't know,» sobbed Rosie. «He just doesn't know no more'n a baby. And she won't let us ever be alone a minute. So he never gets a chance to find out.»

The farmer scratched his head more furiously than ever. Looking at her tear-stained face, he found it hard to doubt her. On the other hand it seemed impossible that a pig should know so much and a young man should know so little. But at that moment Mary came trotting through the bushes, with an egoistical look on her face, which was well besmeared with the juice of the ripe berries.

«Is this your pig?» said the farmer.

«Well,» said Rosie, «I'm just taking her for a walk.»

The shrewd farmer was quick to notice the look that Rosie got from the haughty grunter when it heard the expression «your pig.» This, and Rosie's hurried, nervous disclaimer, convinced the worthy man that the story he had heard was well founded.

«You're taking her for a walk?» said he musingly. «Well! Well! Well! I'll tell you what. If you'd ha' been here this time tomorrow you'd have met me taking a walk, with a number of very dear young friends of mine, all very much like her. She might have come along. Two young sows, beautiful creatures, though maybe not so beautiful as that one. Three young boars, in the prime of their health and handsomeness. Though I say it as shouldn't, him that's unattached — he's a prince. Oh, what a beautiful young boar that young boar really is!»

«You don't say?» said Rosie.

«For looks and pedigree both,» said the farmer, «he's a prince. The fact is, it's their birthday, and I'm taking 'em over to the village for a little bit of a celebration. I suppose this young lady has some other engagement tomorrow.»

«She has to have her sleep just about this time,» said Rosie, ignoring Mary's angry grunt.

«Pity!» said the farmer. «She'd have just made up the party. Such fun they'll have! Such refreshments! Sweet apples, cakes, biscuits, a whole bucket full of ice-cream. Everything most refined, of course, but plenty. You know what I mean — plenty. And that young boar — you know what I mean. If she should be walking by —»

«I'm afraid not,» said Rosie.

«Pity!» said the farmer. «Ah, well. I must be moving along.»

With that, he bade them good afternoon, raising his hat very politely to Mary, who looked after him for a long time, and then walked sulkily home, gobbling to herself all the way.

The next afternoon Mary seemed eager to stretch out on her bunk, and, for once, instead of requiring the usual number of little attentions from Rosie, she closed her eyes in sleep. Rosie took the opportunity to pick up a pail and go off to buy the evening ration of fresh milk. When she got back Fred was still at his practice by the wayside, and Rosie went round to the back of the caravan, and the door was swinging open, and the bunk was empty.

She called Fred. They sought high and low. They went along the roads, fearing she might have been knocked over by a motor car. They went calling through the woods, hoping she had fallen asleep under a tree. They looked in ponds and ditches, behind haystacks, under bridges, everywhere. Rosie thought of the farmer's joking talk, but she hardly liked to say anything about it to Fred.

They called and called all night, scarcely stopping to rest. They sought all the next day. It grew dark, and Fred gave up hope. They plodded silently back to the caravan.

He sat on a bunk, with his head in his hand.

«I shall never see her again,» he said. «Been pinched, that's what she's been».

«When I think,» he said, «of all the hopes I had for that pig »

«When I think,» he said, «of all you've done for her! And what it's meant to you »

«I know she had some faults in her nature,» he said. «But that was artistic. Temperament, it was. When you got a talent like that »

«And now she's gone!» he said. With that he burst into tears.

«Oh, Fred!» cried Rosie. «Don't!»

Suddenly she found she loved him just as much as ever, more than ever. She sat down beside him and put her arms around his neck. «Darling Fred, don't cry!» she said again.

«It's been rough on you, I know,» said Fred. «I didn't ever mean it to be.»

«There! There!» said Rosie. She gave him a kiss. Then she gave him another. It was a long time since they had been as close as this. There was nothing but the two of them and the caravan; the tiny lamp, and darkness all round; their kisses, and grief all round. «Don't let go,» said Fred. «It makes it better.»

«I'm not letting go,» she said.

«Rosie,» said Fred. «I feel — Do you know how I feel?»

«I know,» she said. «Don't talk.»

«Rosie,» said Fred, but this was some time later. «Who'd have thought it?»

«Ah! Who would, indeed?» said Rosie.

«Why didn't you tell me?» said Fred.

«How could I tell you?» said she.

«You know,» said he. «We might never have found out — never! — if she hadn't been pinched.»

«Don't talk about her,» said Rosie.

«I can't help it,» said Fred. «Wicked or not, I can't help it — I'm glad she's gone. It's worth it. I'll make enough on the acrobat stuff. I'll make brooms as well. Pots and pans, too.»

«Yes,» said Rosie. «But look! It's morning already. I reckon you're tired, Fred — running up hill and down dale all day yesterday. You lie abed now, and I'll go down to the village and get you something good for breakfast.»

«All right,» said Fred. «And tomorrow I'll get yours.»

So Rosie went down to the village, and bought the milk and the bread and so forth. As she passed the butcher's shop she saw some new-made pork sausages of a singularly fresh, plump, and appetizing appearance. So she bought some, and very good they smelled while they were cooking.

«That's another thing we couldn't have while she was here,» said Fred, as he finished his plateful. «Never no pork sausages, on account of her feelings. I never thought to see the day I'd be glad she was pinched. I only hope she's gone to someone who appreciates her.»

«I'm sure she has,» said Rosie. «Have some more.»

«I will,» said he. «I don't know if it's the novelty, or the way you cooked 'em, or what. I never ate a better sausage in my life. If we'd gone up to London with her, best hotels and all, I doubt if ever we'd have had as sweet a sausage as these here.»