Fast and Loose

42

Stone got to Patroon first and ordered drinks for both himself and Dino. They arrived just as Dino did.

“I’m impressed with your timing,” Dino said.

“You’re easily impressed — I just wanted a drink, and I didn’t want to wait for you.”

“I figured. I just thought I’d make you feel better after what must have been a depressing day.”

“Why would you think it was a depressing day? I got the deal closed, and I’m going to make zillions of dollars from it, eventually.”

“Gee, I don’t know, I thought it might have been depressing for you to come within a second of getting your ass scattered all over the Upper East Side.”

“On the other hand, it was exhilarating for that to not happen. You have to look on the bright side, Dino. Otherwise, who would have had a drink waiting for you?”

Dino took a swig. “You’re right, I feel better already.”

“I’m so glad.”

“Listen, I got some interesting news from my people this afternoon.”

“I’m always interested in the interesting.”

“Turns out the explosive in Macher’s bomb was an experimental batch that contained a trace marker that allowed the manufacturer to have a record of who it was delivered to.”

“You’re right, that is certainly interesting. To whom was it delivered?”

“The CIA.”

“Aha!”

“Don’t aha so fast, my friend, they won’t tell us who — rather, to whom — they issued it.”

“Well, that’s annoying of them, isn’t it?”

“It certainly is, but we have an in with the Agency, don’t we?”

“And who is that?”

“That is you.”

“You think they’d tell me?”

“You’re Lance Cabot’s fair-haired boy — he’d tell you.”

“I question your assessment of the fairness of my hair in Lance’s eyes, so let me rephrase the question. You think Lance would tell me who checked out the explosive, then testify to that in open court? I think he might well express a certain reluctance to participate in that scenario.”

“You have a point, but you’re making it without reference to your gift of persuasion, especially where Lance is concerned.”

“Oh? Kindly quote me an example of when I persuaded Lance to do something for me. It’s always the other way around, and Lance’s persuasion is always tainted with a veiled threat about what might befall me if I should not be persuaded.”

“Okay, you persuaded him to sell you that house in Paris that the Agency owned, and at a minimal price, if memory serves.”

“That was only because Lance desperately wanted something from me.”

“And what was that something?”

“I don’t recall offhand, but it must have been something really important to make him that desperate. Also, it was very expensive for the Agency to maintain the place as a safe house, and they hardly ever used it. I’m sure the General Services Administration was pleased to have it off their books.”

“I forget what point I was trying to prove.”

“You were trying to persuade me that I could persuade Lance to give me the name of the person who signed out the explosive, and then to testify to that in open court.”

“Oh, yes, I remember now.”

“I’m so relieved. I had thought you were exhibiting signs of early-onset dementia.”

“Not in the least. Will you call Lance?”

“Only if we can think of something to give Lance in return, something that he really wants.”

There followed three minutes of silent contemplation.

“I can’t think of a thing,” Dino said finally.

“Neither can I.” Stone got out his cell phone. “I’ll call Lance.”

“Good idea. Put it on speaker.”

Stone did so.

“This is Cabot. Why are you calling me at this time of night?”

“Because I know you work at all hours, Lance.”

“Ah, Stone, to what do I owe this dubious pleasure?”

“I thought, Lance, that you might derive some satisfaction from helping to imprison a former CIA agent, a thoroughgoing rogue who is a contemptible and murderous swine.”

“As inviting as imprisoning a contemptible and murderous swine sounds, I cannot imagine how I could help.”

“Then I’ll clear it up for you. The former agent checked out a quantity of plastic explosive from your technical services division some time back, and after performing whatever task he had in mind, he retained a considerable portion of that explosive until this very morning, when he deployed it in an attempt to murder everyone at a meeting at which I was in attendance, not to mention a few dozen innocents in adjacent buildings on the Upper East Side of this city. We were saved only by a passing Labrador retriever who was skilled in the arts of explosive sniffing.”

“A passing Labrador retriever? One on the sidewalk, sniffing for a place to do his business, who just happened to zero in on some plastic explosive at your meeting?”

“It was a she, name of Bessie, but all right, she was actually attending the meeting, in the company of her owner, when she began barking at the fireplace. The bomb was contained in a wood box next to same, which, at Bessie’s suggestion, I opened just in time to disconnect a cell phone attached to said explosive. A moment later, it rang.”

“I hope you answered it.”

“I did, and on the other end was the aforesaid contemptible, murderous swine, name of Erik Macher.”

“Ah!” Lance said. “I believe I do recall that person, and you have described him accurately.”

“Thank you.”

“And what is it you want me to do to him?”

“Just instruct your director of Technical Services to testify that the explosive was checked out to Mr. Macher, and that he did not return any of it.”

“Forgive my asking, but how would my man determine that the same explosive he issued to Macher was contained in the bomb of your acquaintance?”

“Because the manufacturer of said explosive took part in an experimental program to add trace markers to their product, and they have a record of having delivered explosive containing that marker to your own estimable agency, and the NYPD has identified the marker. All we need is the Agency’s confirmation that it was issued to Macher and none was returned.”

“Stone,” Lance said, “I believe you are well acquainted with the level of secrecy under which we operate, are you not?”

“I am, but I don’t see how getting a contemptible, murderous swine off the streets would compromise that secrecy.”

“Because the world at large is not aware that our technical services division even exists, let alone the name of its director, nor does it know for certain that we sometimes find uses for explosives. We do not wish to implant that information in the consciousness of unsuspecting citizens, which might later emerge to bite us on the ass in a congressional hearing, or other such venue, which it surely, as night follows day, would. Please give my warm regards to Bessie, and I bid you a pleasant good evening.” Lance hung up.

“You see?” Stone asked Dino.

“You weren’t persuasive enough,” Dino replied.