Fast Lane

Chapter 6

I had done what I was hired for and there wasn’t any reason to hang around. I went back to my motel and packed up. I was feeling empty inside so I stopped at a diner and had a second breakfast of steak and eggs. After adding a piece of pie I headed off to the station. I always like traveling by train if I can. When you’re sitting back in a train you can put your feet up and take time to sort out what’s troubling you. And I had quite a problem to sort out.

I arrived at the station a little past ten and the next train to Denver wasn’t leaving until one, so I settled down to think things through. I didn’t like the way it stood. Mary hired me to find her birth parents and I did-at least her mother. It certainly seemed I should give her what she’d paid me for, but I also had an obligation to do what was best for my client.

I knew Rose Martinez wouldn’t be too happy about meeting her daughter. When the media took the Walt Murphy shooting into its jaws and started shaking it, I landed pretty much on my toes, but they dumped Rose hard on her ass. And while she was flat on the ground they kicked the tar out of her. By the time they were through with her, she was the biggest tramp in Colorado-a cheating whore who drove her husband to the edge of insanity.

Whether or not there was any truth in the accusation, the result was that Denver became an unwelcome place for her. It’s pretty easy to understand why she’d wanted to put it all behind her. The baby would’ve been a tough thing to come home to every day, a reminder of all the humiliation and pain she’d suffered. I guess putting little Mary up for adoption was her way of escaping it.

I had to agree with Mary’s mother. I couldn’t see any good coming from Mary finding Rose. And I’ll tell you, I looked at it from so many angles I started to get dizzy. You could bet how it would hit Rose. Like a sucker punch to the gut. And of course, she’d take it right out on Mary. To let it happen would be sadistic.

So there it was. I could do what I was paid for and ignore the right and wrong of it, but what the hell would that make me?

An old man sitting nearby was giving me a cold stare and it knocked me out of my thoughts. With his round bald head and big rubbery face, he resembled a bloated bullfrog. I gave him a friendly smile; my Poppa always taught me that it never hurt none to be nice to folks.

“Howdy. Anything I can do for you, sir?”

He seemed a little startled. “Thank you, no. Where you heading?”

“Denver, Colorado.” I extended my hand and introduced myself. “Johnny Lane. Pleased to meet you.”

He ignored my hand and kept staring at me. “You live in Denver?” he asked after a long while.

Now, when you go out of your way to be friendly, people should be friendly right back. There is no reason not to, and with the snub the old man gave me I started feeling a little hot. But you can’t always account for other folks. I pulled my hand back.

“Yes, sir,” I said. “Maybe you’ve heard of me. I’m sort of a celebrity there.”

He shook his head. “Never been to Denver. You from there?”

“As far back as I can remember.”

With that the old man leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes.

I looked him over, feeling a burning around my neck as I did so. Sitting there, looking at the old man’s toad-like features I felt the hotness spreading, tightening the veins in my throat. I got up quickly and found the men’s room. After splashing cold water on my face, I stood quietly and studied myself in the mirror. Slowly the hotness faded and the muscles in my jaws softened.

There was no point in letting that old man upset me the way he did. You have to figure he was senile and didn’t realize how he was acting. It’s just that, well, forget it.

* * * * *

I’d spent most of the trip back to Denver worrying, and by the time I arrived home I was worn out. The problem was that I hadn’t been able to concentrate on what I needed to. For some reason I kept letting that old man at the station pop into my head. It bothered me that I let him get to me. But this picture of me holding out my hand only to be made to look like a jackass kept getting me more and more sore. It was so pointless letting that bother me that it just got me angrier. And what bothered me more than anything was how close I came to losing control.

* * * * *

By the time I laid myself out on my bed, I wasn’t any closer to figuring out how things needed to be handled. I tried again to think things through, but everything got more jumbled than before and soon I wasn’t making any sense out of anything.

I had myself a beer and brought a bottle of whiskey back to bed. After a couple of shots, the muscles in my neck relaxed. I turned off the lights and closed my eyes.

I had a restless time of it. Images of Walt Murphy and the shooting raced through my mind, and at times I was probably closer to hallucinating than dreaming. The whole incident played itself out as it happened, at least to the point where the police showed up. Then it got crazy. The cops wouldn’t believe me and kept laughing and poking at me. I tried to tell them how it had happened, but they were laughing too hard to listen. Before I knew it, they had me by the collar and were dragging me down a hallway, handling me as if I were nothing more than a rag doll-kind of the way Tiny had dragged Debra Singer from the back room of his peep show.

They took me to a small windowless room that was empty except for a wooden chair that was bolted to the floor. As we got closer to it, I realized what it was. Before I could say a word they strapped me into it. Then they left, joking and slapping each other’s backs. The sound of the door slamming behind them almost shattered my eardrums.

After what seemed like an eternity, the door opened and Rose Murphy came in. It scared the hell out of me to see her. I tried explaining to her how I had done only what I had to, but she wouldn’t listen. She came over to me and pulled out a large razor. At first I thought she was going to cut my throat, but instead she grabbed me by the top of the skull and shaved my head. Then she attached wires to my scalp.

I had my eyes closed, and when I opened them she’d moved to a heavy-looking wall switch. She hesitated before it, staring blankly at me. Then, using both hands and straining her body, she forced the switch down. For one heartbeat, there was nothing. All at once electricity burst through my body, jerking it. Smoke started to pour from my fingertips. The hum of the electric chair blasted through me-and I was screaming, almost as loud as Rose.

I woke up with the phone ringing. At first I was too startled to realize where I was. With an overwhelming sense of relief, the disorientation lifted. I closed my eyes and listened to the phone, trying to slow down the pounding of my heart before something inside broke.

The answering machine kicked on and after the beep there was a long silence. Then I heard Mary’s voice asking me to call her as soon as I got home.

The machine clicked off and I lay there thinking. I hated the idea of disappointing Mary but it didn’t seem as if there was anything else I could do. Getting them together wouldn’t do Rose any good, it wouldn’t do Mary any good, and it sure as hell wouldn’t do me any good.

Now I don’t want to sound selfish or anything but the idea of Mary knowing I’d shot her daddy made me uneasy. If she knew that, even if she understood that I had no choice, it would change things. And God knows what Rose would tell her.

That one time I met with Rose, she was as upset as you’d expect from everything that had happened to her. Maybe she didn’t believe what she was saying, but hell, her accusations were just too bizarre to repeat. I wouldn’t want Mary hearing them. Even though there was no truth in any of them, they would have some influence on her. I wouldn’t like to think of her hating me, even just a little.

I got up and examined myself in the mirror. The last few years a vein along my left eye had started to expose itself. I tried to tell if it had gotten any bigger and decided it hadn’t.

After taking a shower, I rubbed my hand over my face, testing whether I needed a shave. I’ve got one of those baby faces that can go past a week without needing to take a razor to it. If it wasn’t for the gray hair, folks would have a tough time guessing I’d hit forty-two.

My skin was smooth enough to let the blade wait another day. I got dressed and headed off for work. As I drove towards the city, I could see the sun hadn’t yet risen past the cloud of brown smog which sits atop Denver. Sunlight illuminated the cloud, making it appear as if the city were about to be smothered.

I didn’t have much of an appetite, but I guess I felt too off-kilter to jump right into work. After parking the car, I walked to the Corner Diner. Carol was in her usual place working behind the counter. When she saw me come in she gave me a wink and came over and started mopping up the area in front of me.

“Hello, Johnny. Do you know how that girl’s doing?”

It took me a few seconds to realize she was referring to Debra Singer. “I hear everything’s fine with her.”

“I’m so glad I didn’t screw things up for you.” She gave me a playful smile. “I think I got a case for you. Some stiff walked away with a fifty cent tip of mine. How much will it cost to find him?”

“Well now,” I said. “I usually charge four hundred a day, but for you, honey, I’ll consider it for a little extra hash browns.”

“Food! That’s all he ever wants from me is food!” She gave the guy sitting next to me a little slap on the arm. “You know who that is next to you? That’s Johnny Lane, the detective. The one in the Examiner.”

That got some fellow diners to turn around and give me a look. It wasn’t long before I was telling stories and folks were shaking my hand and patting me on the back. The black mood I had been drifting into was all but gone. By the time I finished eating I was feeling pretty good, feeling confident that I was doing the right thing with Mary and that everything would work out. I had a third cup of coffee and kidded Carol a little. By the time I left everything was fine with the world.

Once back at my office, I checked in with my answering service and got a list of messages. More than half were from Mary. After a few tries, I located her at school. She was too excited to listen to me at first. After calming her down I gave her the bad news about the trip being a bust. I asked if she could stop by for a talk, which was like asking a politician if he could stomach a contribution. We agreed to meet in a half hour.