Finding Chrissten

Chapter Nine

Chrissten felt the large male body crushing hers against the thin mattress, could smell Brian’s arousal as he ground his erection against her stomach. His hands were rough on her breasts, squeezing and bruising them. Bile churned in her stomach and acid burned her throat. The pungent stench of sweat and fear filled her nostrils.

“You’re mine,” he growled as he ripped at her clothing.

“No!” she cried, fighting back with every ounce of strength she possessed. She raked her nails over his face and he jerked back, fury evident in every line of his body.

“You’ll pay for that, bitch.”

A shiver raced down her spine. That was no idle threat. She struggled to scramble away from him, but Brian was too fast, too strong for her to evade.

She cried out and steeled herself for his attack. But he was suddenly gone.

Chrissten frowned as another voice penetrated her dream, this one rough but gentle at the same time. She knew this voice, trusted the man behind it. More than that, she wanted him.

She heard her name being called again and pulled farther away from Brian, leaving him and the memory of his attack far behind. Her eyelids fluttered open and she realized she wasn’t in her small, dingy cell being attacked. She also wasn’t alone. She recognized the familiar musky scent and the gentle way he touched her. Hank was beside her, his large body wrapped protectively around her.

Heat flashed through Chrissten’s body and she scissored her legs restlessly against the crisp white sheets. She was hot and sweaty. A nice change after feeling as though she was locked in a meat cooler for so many months.

The cotton fabric of her nightgown clung to her body, molding to every dip and curve. She inhaled and a rich enticing scent filled her nostrils. Musky and male, it mixed a hint of sandalwood and a touch of cool spring air. It was intoxicating. She wanted more so she took another breath.

“Mmm.” She tried to move but found herself trapped beneath the sheets.

A broad hand stroked down her side and over her hip. The heat penetrated the layer of her nightgown and sank into her. A wide palm and clever fingers circled her stomach, making it flutter with anticipation.

Sleep still filled her brain, making her a little slow on the uptake. But she wasn’t concerned. Her instincts weren’t screaming for her to run. If anything, they were urging her to get closer.

“Shh,” Hank crooned next to her ear. “You were dreaming and cried out in your sleep.”

She shivered. Not a dream but a nightmare. And not truly a nightmare but a reliving of something that had happened to her. Brian. She could still smell him on her skin and taste him in her mouth.

She hated him more in this moment than she ever had. Even free from his clutches he continued to haunt her days and nights. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. And she was going to stop it here and now.

Maybe if it were morning and not the dead of the night. Maybe if she was thinking more clearly she’d never have given voice to her deepest thoughts. “Make love to me.”

Even as she said the words she wasn’t certain she could go through with it. Having a man inside her, thrusting hard, hurting her over and over. She whimpered and tensed.

Hank removed his hand slowly from beneath the covers, wrapped his arm around her and hugged her tight. “It’s okay, Chrissten. I’ve got you.”

She rolled onto her back so she could see him. Hank hovered above her, arm bent and head propped up against his hand. His free hand rested on her stomach, not demanding anything, simply resting there and giving comfort.

“I’m sorry.” And she was. She wasn’t a tease, hadn’t meant to say one thing and then have second thoughts.

He shook his head and the light from the streetlamps glinted off the short strands of his blond hair. “There’s no need for you to be sorry about anything.” He looked totally relaxed, not angry or disappointed.

“Are you for real?” She couldn’t believe any male would be totally unaffected by her offer and then its quick withdrawal.

One corner of his mouth kicked up. “Oh yeah, I’m for real. I’m so real my cock is ready to explode.”

She felt her jaw drop and quickly closed her mouth.

He cupped her face in his large hand and rubbed his thumb over her bottom lip. “But, Chrissten, I’d never take anything from you that you didn’t want to give me.”

Her heart swelled and her stomach felt as though it had an entire flock of butterflies fluttering around inside. Did butterflies come in flocks or was there another term for it? And she was obviously losing what little bit of sense she had if she was worried about such a silly thing.

Time to face the music. She owed him the truth. “I wanted to use you to forget,” she blurted out. Her cheeks heated. She knew she was blushing but figured if she ignored that fact he would too. “That wasn’t right and I’m sorry.” There, she felt better for apologizing.

Oh, who was she kidding? She didn’t feel better at all. She was tense, her skin so sensitive to the touch it almost hurt. Her breasts were heavy and taut with need, and she ached between her legs. She wanted Hank, wanted his touch to replace Brian’s but she was too afraid to take that step.

“Was it the dream?”

The man was too astute for her peace of mind. She nodded and rubbed a hand over her face. She was sweaty and completely out of sorts. Aroused and frightened at the same time.

It might be natural to be emotional after the trauma she’d been through over the past year and a half, but that didn’t mean she had to like it. She’d had more than enough of feeling out of control. She wanted some sort of normalcy in her life.

She’d lived in a constant state of stress for so long her body was having a hard time adapting to everyday life. Of course, she couldn’t relax her guard. Not yet. Not until Brian and his band of not-so-merry men were history.

She shivered again and tugged the covers closer.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Hank picked up her thick braid and toyed with it, rubbing the loose end over her chin. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but it might help.”

She didn’t want to talk about it, but maybe he was right. Keeping everything buried inside wasn’t working. It was poisoning her system. “It wasn’t a dream. Not really. More of a memory.”

Beside her, Hank’s muscles tightened and his breathing deepened. “Tell me.” It was more of a demand than a request.

Still, she figured she owed him some kind of explanation. She looked away, not wanting to see his face when she told him. “It was about me and Brian together.” Chrissten struggled to get the words past her constricted throat. “How he hurt me.”

“Fuck.” Hank was practically vibrating with anger now. That was her fault. He’d simply come into her room to wake her from a bad dream and to offer comfort, not to play shrink.

“It’s nothing. It’s over with now. You should go back to bed.” She didn’t take a single breath between sentences. Better for Hank to go now so they could both forget any of this ever happened.

“Let me get this straight.” Obviously he wasn’t going to take her suggestion and leave. She should have known better. He was as stubborn as her brother, which was a roundabout way of acknowledging that he was as stubborn as she was. “You were having bad memories about you and Brian and you wanted me to touch you.”

“Stupid, wasn’t it.” God, if a person could die of embarrassment she’d have already expired. “I had some mixed-up idea that your touch could replace it, kind of cancel it out.” She shrugged. “I know. It doesn’t make any sense. Good night.” She closed her eyes and prayed he would take the hint.

Warm breath feathered across her face and then soft lips brushed hers. Her eyes flew open. Hank was levered above her, his mouth tempting hers.

She parted her lips to ask him what he was doing but he didn’t give her a chance to speak. He slipped his tongue into the moist opening and teased hers in a slow, easy glide that didn’t alarm her in any way. A giving. A sharing, rather than a taking.

Her hand seemed to have a mind of its own as it crept up to cup the back of his neck. He made a low sound of pleasure when her fingers made contact. She knew he liked it when she stroked his nape.

She did it again and could feel his smile against her lips. He didn’t hurry. Didn’t try to do anything other than kiss her. The heat, the slow simmer, the steady rise of passion. It was truly lovely.

Chrissten curled her toes and concentrated on the two places they were touching. Lips to lips and hand to nape. Nothing overtly sexual, yet it was one of the most sensual experiences she’d ever had.

Hank kissed her like that was his entire goal and one he was bound to accomplish. He licked and sucked and explored. He tilted his head to one side so he could forage deeper.

And his taste. God, he tasted good. Better than a man had a right to. Mint from his toothpaste mingled with the rich aroma of the coffee he’d drank earlier tonight. But overriding every other taste was the pure essence of the man himself. Better than chocolate. She didn’t think she could ever get enough.

Chrissten lost track of time, lost all embarrassment, forgot about the nightmare as Hank kissed her as though she was water and he was a man lost in the desert.

Both of them were breathing hard when he finally pulled back. Her lips tingled and her head rose from the pillow, following him. She didn’t want this moment to end.

Hank kissed the tip of her nose, her forehead and her cheeks.

“I want to touch you. I want to touch you everywhere.”

Chrissten’s entire body clenched, partly in fear and partly in anticipation.

Hank was wreathed in shadows, the play of light highlighting the harsh planes of his face. “I want to take away his touch. Make you forget everything about him.”

“Hank,” she began, not really sure what she was going to say.

“Shh.” He placed one finger over her lips to keep her from speaking. “Let me finish. I know this isn’t easy for you. I don’t expect to make love with you. That’s not going to happen tonight. I give you my word of honor.”

A sense of wonder blossomed inside Chrissten. She knew he meant every word he said, knew enough about him to understand his word was his bond, his honor everything to him.

“Let me touch you, kiss you, taste you. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to, and we can stop any time you feel uncomfortable. Let me do this for you.”

“Why?” Why would he even want to do this? What was in it for him? He’d end up horny and unsatisfied.

Hank let his finger drift down from her lips until it was under her chin. “Because I’m drawn to you in a way I can’t explain. Because I want to touch you more than I want my next breath. No matter how horny I get, contrary to popular belief, no man has ever died because he didn’t get any. And I’d do anything to help rid you of those dark memories.”

Chrissten simply stared at Hank. Could it really be that simple? She wanted to reach out and take what he offered, but it wasn’t fair to him. She’d be using him and that didn’t sit well with her. It smacked of weakness.

She started to shake her head but, once again, he seemed to anticipate that move and countered it with more words.

“I know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong. It’s not weak to want to reach out to someone for help. We all need it sometime. It’s the strong person who recognizes when they do need help and is able to ask for it.”

“It’s not fair.” How many times had she uttered those words in her head and aloud? Even she could hear the lack of conviction in them. Was she really considering doing this? The answer was an unequivocal yes.

Hank’s gaze heated, his pale eyes almost glowing in the shadowy room. “It’s more than fair, Chrissten. It’s what I want.” He touched his lips to hers. “Will you give me what I want?”

Put like that, how could she refuse?

Chrissten took a deep breath and nodded.

Hank thought he might come in his pants when Chrissten nodded. It was close, but he managed to stop the explosion by thinking about Brian, about the male who had abused her. If anything was guaranteed to kill his libido it was thoughts of that bastard.

A mated wolf usually couldn’t stand the scent or touch of another. That made the attraction between him and Chrissten even more unusual. Hank knew in his soul he was her true mate and she was his. Maybe it was because they were both half-breeds that they were able to get past the restrictions that ruled mated pairs. Maybe it was because they were true mates that Brian’s mating didn’t seem to affect either of them in quite the same way it would a pure werewolf mated pair.

He didn’t know and didn’t care.

He could smell Brian’s scent on her skin. It permeated her flesh, a never-ending reminder that she belonged to another. It marked her as surely as a brand and would only disappear with Brian’s death.

Most males wouldn’t be able to stand the stench of another male on their female. Werewolves were nothing if not possessive.

But Hank wasn’t most men and Chrissten belonged to him. He knew Brian’s claim to her was only temporary. The moment Hank found him, he would kill him and free Chrissten.

He’d deal with him eventually. But tonight was all about Chrissten, about what she needed from him at this moment. He took a deep breath and concentrated on the light floral scent that clung to Chrissten’s skin and blocked out the deeper, musky tones. The possessive wolf inside him wanted to rub his body over every inch of her skin, letting his scent coat her silky smooth flesh. It wouldn’t get rid of Brian’s smell, but it would help mask it.

Touch was such a basic human thing and so necessary, especially to their kind. Wolves were pack animals. Social. And touch was a way to express how they felt about one another—a hand on a shoulder, a hug, a pat. Between a mated pair touch was even more vital. It helped connect them to one another, to solidify their bond.

Brian had abused his position as mate. Denying Chrissten the most basic comfort. Hurting her when he should have been cherishing her.

His loss was Hank’s gain.

Chrissten’s skin was glistening with perspiration. Worry darkened her beautiful blue eyes and he wanted to tell her not to worry, but saved his breath. She wouldn’t totally relax until Brian and his group were found and dealt with. He didn’t blame her. He was always on alert himself, even more so than usual. Brian would come for her. Hank knew it in his gut.

He brushed back a lock of hair that had escaped from her braid. She turned her head slightly into his touch. That little action made him feel like the king of the world.

His life used to be simple. Basic.

Now it was complicated beyond measure. He was in love with a female who was already mated, a female with complex issues when it came to mating and sex. If he were smart he’d walk away from her.

But it was already too late. Chrissten was in his heart and soul. She belonged to him in a way he couldn’t begin to describe. And he belonged to her.

She was worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. He couldn’t resist leaning down and running his tongue over the small injury. Soothing it.

She released a small sigh, her breath a light puff against his face.

He smiled at her, ignoring the pounding in his temples and the pulsing in his groin. “Tell me if I do anything you don’t like.”

“Okay.” She tried to relax. He could see the way she took a deep breath and consciously unclenched her hands.

He shook his head. This wasn’t going to work unless he could get her out of her head and more into letting her body simply feel and enjoy the experience.

Talking wasn’t going to help, and delaying was only serving to make her even tenser than she’d been. Not good.

Letting his instincts guide him, Hank reached behind his head, grabbed a handful of fabric and yanked his shirt off. He tossed it aside and swooped down to kiss Chrissten in one motion.

He took it slow, letting their mouths touch, then meld tighter. Her lips were soft and warm. He was very aware of her every movement, every action. She was still wound up tighter than a coiled spring.

He gently ran his tongue along the seam of her mouth and pushed inward. She gave a little gasp but yielded. Tension seeped out of her body as if she’d finally exhaled and let go.

Hank teased her tongue with his, lapped at the inside of her mouth and stroked her bottom lip. She responded to each and every touch. Her breathing was becoming more rapid, a new tension seeping into her bones. This one was good though. Sexual tension brought a heightened awareness with it, their senses growing sharper.

He brought his hand up and carefully covered her left breast. Through the thin fabric of her nightgown, he felt the heavy thud of her heart against the heel of his hand. She clutched at his wrist, not to push him away but to press him closer.

Fuck, yes. This was the reaction he was hoping for. He wanted her to want him.

He rubbed his thumb gently over the distended nipple, drawing a low moan from her. His jeans were way too tight, but he didn’t dare remove them. He’d given Chrissten his word and he would not break it. She was fragile enough at the moment, her trust a delicate and treasured thing. He wouldn’t do anything to destroy it.

He shoved the sheets down to her waist. He wanted to throw the damn things on the floor but it was too soon to do anything of the sort. Patience was the key.

Hank ignored the pounding of his blood through his veins, the howling of his wolf within him, the never-ending ache of his cock. This was all about Chrissten.

The nightgown she wore had four buttons and he slowly undid them one at a time, exposing a thin swath of pale skin. Her flesh was warm and goose bumps rose beneath his fingers.

He glanced up at her face to gauge her reaction to what he was doing. Her eyes were closed, her lips parted as she sucked air into her lungs. He could tell she was still thinking too hard. Her eyes were scrunched tight and she was nibbling on her bottom lip once again.

Hurriedly, he spread the fabric wide, exposing two perfect mounds. Her breasts weren’t overly big or small. They were full and tantalizing, perfect for her height.

Hank cupped one breast and rubbed his thumb around the swollen areola. Chrissten whimpered and the small sound shot straight to his balls. Breathing became next to impossible as he struggled to keep from coming. If he was this aroused by a sound what would it be like if she actually touched him.

Bad thought. His cock jerked as if it approved of that idea. Every muscle in his body tensed, coiled, ready for action. He wanted her hands on his shoulders, his chest, his cock, wherever he could get them. His wolf paced restlessly inside him, urging him to get on with things.

Every cell in his body cried out for Chrissten. He took a deep breath and turned his laser focus on her. He leaned down and ran his tongue over the tight nub he’d aroused with his touch.

Chrissten moaned and her hands came up to clutch his shoulders. Her fingernails dug into his shoulders, the sting sweet. This was what he wanted, Chrissten lost to her own sensual desires. He wanted to feed them, to fan the sensual flames until she came. He wanted to replace her bad memories with ones of pleasure, of him.

He closed his lips over the hard nub and gently suckled. She speared her fingers through his hair and clutched his scalp, tugging him closer.

He was in heaven as he licked and sucked, petted and touched. Her legs scissored against the sheets, restricted by the gown she was wearing. He wanted to remove the garment but knew it was too soon for that.

“Hank.” His name was no more than a breath, a sigh, but it pierced his heart. To hear his name on her lips when she was in the throes of sensual desire sent his libido soaring to an entirely new level.

He prayed no one would decide to look in on Chrissten. He’d probably kill whoever came through the door and interrupted them. She was getting closer to losing control. All she needed was a little push.

A warm musky scent filled his nostrils and he inhaled deeply, taking it into his lungs. It was sweet and inviting. Chrissten was aroused.

He had to find out for sure, had to feel the wetness against his fingers.

While he continued to pleasure one breast and then the other, he shoved the sheet down until it hit her knees. The hem of her nightgown was up around her thighs and he slid his hand beneath it and started an upward journey.

She stiffened briefly and he paused, waiting for her to say yes or no. He prayed she wouldn’t stop him. Not now. Not yet.

He wanted to let out a whoop of joy when her thighs relaxed and parted slightly. Goddamn, she was brave. The courage it took for her to let him touch her this intimately after everything she’d been through humbled him.

He raised his head from her breast to look at her. “I’ll stop whenever you want me to.” He had to be clear on that point, wanted to reinforce the fact that she was in charge.

“Not yet.”

She was so fucking beautiful lying here with her gown opened to expose her breasts and rucked up around her thighs. Her skin glistened in the dim light. Her lips were moist from his kisses.

Even the sound of her limbs moving against the sheets was arousing to him. The light slithering sound made his balls ache.

Hank knew it would be a hell of a long night. No way would he be able to relieve the pressure of his erection until someone replaced him on guard duty in the morning. After that, he’d probably spend at least an hour in a cold shower, giving himself a hand job or three. The way he felt right now it would take at least that many orgasms to sate him.

Her hips arched slightly and Hank grazed the inside of her thigh. Her skin was so soft. He could easily spend hours simply touching her, stroking her. But he didn’t have the luxury of time. Any moment she could change her mind. Or someone might come to check on her.

Time was of the essence.

Hank slipped his hand between her thighs and moaned when he touched her slick folds. She was warm and wet. He wanted to burrow between her spread thighs and taste her essence, suck her slick folds until she screamed his name.

Probably way too soon for that but a guy could dream.

He stroked up and down the length of her labia, gritting his teeth against the storm of arousal that threatened to swamp him. His dick was leaking and he could smell the tang of his own arousal as it hovered just out of reach.

He rimmed her opening and slipped one thick finger inside. The muscles of her channel wrapped around it. Hank thought he might lose it then and there.

Chrissten tilted her hips upward, taking him deeper.

It was now or never. He had to make her come before he did.

Chrissten closed her eyes and listened to the sound of her own breathing. She could barely hear it above the pounding of her heart.

Her skin felt too small to contain her body. Every part of her seemed swollen and sensitive. Waiting expectantly.

Hank hovered above her like something from a dream, a very hot, erotic dream. His every touch, every stroke was designed to push her deeper and deeper under his sensual spell. She should have been frightened by how easily he accomplished this. Instead, she was reveling in it, embracing it.

Brian had taken something precious from her. But it was her choice to take it back.

She’d had sex with several long-term boyfriends over the years, but she’d never really enjoyed sex, hadn’t understood what all the hoopla was about. Then Brian had happened and sex had become a nightmare, more about pain and subjugation.

This was something totally different from any of her previous experiences.

Hank’s every touch ignited sparks beneath her skin, leaving her wanting more. She felt alive with sensation. She could smell his dark, musky spices mixing with the scent of her soap and the sweet tang of her arousal.

His breathing was harsh, but controlled. That was Hank—controlled. Chrissten didn’t think she’d ever met a man who was more in command of himself than Hank was. For a brief second, she wondered what it would be like to make him lose that control.

His lips closed around the peak of her breast and he suckled gently, drawing the nipple deeper into his mouth. She arched upward, wanting to give him more, wanting him to take whatever he wanted.

The hand between her legs teased and tormented her slick folds. He slid one thick finger into her core and Chrissten couldn’t suppress the moan of pleasure that broke from her throat.

Oh, that felt amazingly good. Better than she’d ever known it could.

Being touched by a male she genuinely liked and respected was so different from the way it had been with Brian. Her arousal hovered on the edge of a knife as his name evoked so many nasty memories. She banished that male from her head. He had no place in this bed. She was with Hank. He was all that mattered.

He lapped at her nipple before releasing it and shifting his attention to her other breast. He nuzzled the mound, his stubbled beard arousing her sensitive skin. “Okay?”

Tears filled her eyes. Even now his concern was all about her. She swallowed hard. “Better than okay,” she assured him.

“Good.” He tilted his head back so he could see her face and winked at her. That lighthearted gesture drove back the sadness. She laughed before she knew she was going to.

Her laughter turned to a moan as he inserted a second finger into her channel. The muscles contracted and then relaxed. Accepting him.

His thumb rubbed her clit and her hips jerked upward, seeking more of his touch. She moaned again and Hank surged upward, covering her mouth with his. In the back of her mind she knew she was making too much noise. Much more of that and she’d have her brother and the others in here checking on her. She didn’t want that. Not until she got the prize. She was so close to coming.

Hank’s kiss was passionate, not gentle as his previous ones had been. She loved it, loved the fact he wasn’t holding back. It made her feel more whole, more like a real woman and not one who’d been damaged.

He worked his fingers in and out of her core, driving deeper with each thrust. His thumb continued to stimulate her clit. Round and round. Back and forth. Driving her up and up until she had to burst or go crazy.

When he pulled his fingers back to the edge of her sheath, he curled them upward, touching a spot that pushed her over the edge. Explosions of light burst behind her eyes. She cried out and Hank took the sound into his mouth, smothering it, keeping this moment between only them.

Her eyes opened wide and she met Hank’s gaze. Pure masculine pleasure shone from his face.

Her entire body shook and quivered as her orgasm continued to swamp her. Gradually the trembling lessened and Hank withdrew his hand from between her legs. He carefully smoothed her nightgown down and tugged the sheets to her waist, covering her.

His tenderness and concern for her touched her heart. Hank was a very special man. She wished she’d met him before her life had exploded and become the living hell it had. But she had to deal with reality. Even now she could smell the faint odor of Brian on her skin. She hated it with a passion and fought the urge to go to the bathroom and scrub her skin until it bled. There was only one way to get rid of Brian for good. And soap and water wasn’t it.

“Hey, you okay?” So lost in her thoughts, she hadn’t even realized Hank had stopped kissing her and was doing up the buttons to her nightgown. When he was finished, he pulled the covers the rest of the way up.

She shoved the negative thoughts aside and concentrated on the beautiful gift Hank had just given her. “I’m wonderful. How about you?”

Chrissten glanced downward. There was no hiding the heavy thick erection pressing against the front of Hank’s jeans.

He gave a chuckled that sounded a little strained to her ears. He moved gingerly as he rolled off the bed, picked up his shirt and pulled it back on. “I’ll live.”

She felt awful. She’d taken with little thought to how he would feel.

The side of the mattress depressed as he sat down next to her. He cupped her face in his hand. “Hey, none of that. I got what I wanted.” He leaned down and this time she met him halfway. Their lips met in a tender kiss. She slid her hand around to the nape of his neck, feeling the strong muscles beneath her palm. So much strength, but he never used it to hurt her.

Hank was a revelation to her, reminding her that not all men were abusive jerks. Intellectually, she already knew that. After all, she had two brothers who were both examples of what a good man was. But in her heart she’d feared they might be the only ones. Irrational, to be sure, but considering everything she’d been through she’d cut herself some slack.

“Sleep.” He eased down onto the bed beside her. He was on top of the covers and she was tucked beneath. She felt warm and safe and cared for.

“Wake me early.” She needed a shower before her brothers showed up in the morning. Craig might not notice anything different, but Quinn would surely smell the essence of her climax on her skin and nightgown.

“I will.”

She knew he understood without her having to explain it. Hank seemed to understand her better than anyone else she’d ever met. She snuggled against his body and released a sigh, totally relaxed.

As she started to drift off to sleep, she wondered what it would be like to touch his skin, to have the muscles rippling beneath her palms. What would it be like to touch his cock and make him come?

Maybe it was too soon for them to have intercourse, that’s assuming she could even find the courage to do so, but there were other things they might do. If she was brave enough to reach out and take them, the possibilities were limitless.