Fire Inside

Chapter Seventeen Glad to have you back, darlin’

The pounding at the door woke us. Hop’s arm convulsed around me and I lifted my head from where it lay on his chest to stare at the door.

“Open this goddamned door, brother!”

Oh God.

That was Tack.

And he sounded really, really angry.

“Fuck,” Hop muttered.

“Fuckin’ now!” Tack shouted.

“Fuck,” Hop repeated.

“Oh dear,” I mumbled.

“Not a good time!” Hop yelled.

“Open it or I kick it in!” Tack shouted and I felt my eyes get wide. I’d never heard Tack angry like that.

“Oh dear,” I whispered.

“Fuck,” Hop grumbled, rolled into me, kissed me quickly then he rolled out of bed.

Tack pounded at the door.

Hop tossed his thermal to me and I tugged it on as he pulled up a pair of jeans and moved to the door.

“Jesus, brother, cool it! Fuck! I’m comin’!” Hop yelled, made it to the door, unlocked it and opened it. I had the thermal down to my waist, the covers up it and I watched as Hop took a quick step back because Tack pushed in.

Tack scowled at me in bed for a nanosecond before his head swung Hop’s way.

“Seriously?” he asked. “I just get done dealin’ with that shit with Tabby and you, another brother, are nailin’ my other girl in… fuckin’… secret?”

How sweet. I loved it that I was his other girl.

“Tack, breathe, brother, and give me a second to explain,” Hop stated calmly.

Tack pointed my way. “Her head’s messed up. You go in there when her head’s messed up?”

“My head isn’t messed up,” I butted in and Tack turned his scowl back to me.

“Darlin’, you’re in my heart, you know that so no offense, but you’re right, it isn’t messed up. It’s fucked up.”

Oh wow. I was in his heart.

“Tack, listen to me,” Hop called Tack’s attention to him and Tack sliced his gaze to Hop. “There’s a reason we kept it under wraps, a good one I’m not gonna explain because it’s Lanie’s and she gets to explain it if she wants. What you gotta know right now is, this is real,” he stated just as my phone rang from inside my purse.

“It better fuckin’ be real, brother. I know you. I know you wouldn’t pull shit on me, Red, Lanie, but what I don’t know is why it’s a goddamned secret,” Tack returned.

I’d scooted up to my knees to reach the side of the bed where my purse was, grabbed it and pulled my phone out while Hop replied, “Lanie had some things to work through and I thought we should focus on that without outside distractions.”

It was my request we keep it a secret but Hop was setting it up so, if there was a fall, he would be taking it for me.

I was feeling all warm inside, thinking that was nice, still feeling the glow of Tack calling me his girl (regardless of this tense situation; however, I knew Hop would sort it out) as I put my phone to my ear.

I wouldn’t have answered right then, but the display said it was Lis. She knew everything that was going on, including my break up with Hop, which led to her gently trying to understand why we broke up since she told me she liked him and thought he was good for me. She was also worried about me so I didn’t want to miss a phone call from her to make her more worried about me. I’d done enough of that to people who cared about me.

“Hey, sweetie. Now’s not a good time,” I said in greeting. “I’ll call you back in an hour or so and we’ll talk.”

“You think maybe her best fuckin’ friend and your fuckin’ friend, brother, might have been able to take your back on that?” Tack asked a very good question.

I didn’t hear Hop’s answer because Lis spoke in my ear.

“Lanie, honey… God. I don’t know how to say this so I’m just going to say it. The bubble burst last night at Mom and Dad’s. Dad is in the hospital. Mom’s in jail.”

I blinked at the covers.

“What?” I whispered.

“Apparently, this is a guess,” she began, “but I figure Dad stewed on what you said then finally pulled his finger out and made his decision. From what I could get from Mom’s hysterical phone call, Dad informed her he couldn’t keep hurting her and his other chick, so he made a decision and he picked the other chick. Mom finally grew a backbone, lost her nut, grabbed a bottle of wine and conked him on the head with it. He started bleeding. She started yelling. They started scrapping. The neighbors freaked, the cops were called, then the ambulance. Now Dad is under observation for a concussion and Mom needs a cosigner for a bond since Dad’s seriously pissed and he’s pressing charges.”

“Oh my God,” I said.

“Lady, what is it?” Hop asked.

“I know,” my sister agreed.

“Oh my God,” I repeated.

“No shit,” my sister replied.

“Lanie, baby, what is it?” Hop asked.

“Oh my God!” I cried.

“Jesus, Lanie,” Hop clipped and I felt his hand under my chin lifting my eyes to his where he was standing by the bed, looking worried. “What the fuck is it?”

“Oh my God,” Lis said in my ear. “Please tell me that’s Hop.”

I ignored her, the fact that Tack was standing there and told Hop. “My dad told my mom he picked the other woman. She lost it. Conked him on the head with a wine bottle. He’s in the hospital and pressing charges. She’s in jail and looking for a cosigner for her bond.”

Hop’s hand fell away as he straightened, all the while doing a slow blink.

Then he asked, “Say again?”

“My dad told my mom he picked the other woman. She attacked him with a wine bottle. She needs a cosigner on a bond.”

Hop stared at me. Then his whole torso shot back as he burst out laughing.

“Hop!” I shouted. “This isn’t funny!”

He tipped his eyes to me, still laughing. “Oh, fuck yeah it is, baby.”

“You know, he’s right,” Lis said in my ear.

“Please, babe, tell me, since he’s in the hospital, she did some damage,” Hop begged.

“Hop!” I snapped.

“I totally like him,” Lis declared. “I already liked him considering he never missed the opportunity to give my little sister an orgasm but now I really like him.”

“Lis!” I hissed into the phone, rethinking how much I shared with my sister.

“Just sayin’,” she mumbled. “Dad’s a dick.”

“He might have a concussion!” I cried.

“Yeah, shit happens when you’re a dick,” Lis replied, then went back to mumbling. “Long time coming.”

“Oh my God!” I shouted and suddenly I didn’t have a phone in my hand because Hopper had it in his and was talking into it.

“Gotta have a meet with the brothers, babe, but, you want, and you don’t have the collateral, thinkin’ my boys won’t have a problem with Chaos covering her bond. We’re not real big on motherfuckers steppin’ out on their families then pressin’ charges when they get their due, their woman clocks them with a wine bottle.”

I looked to Tack who was standing, arms crossed on his chest, lips twitching, sapphire blue eyes dancing, earlier pique vaporized, and announced, “Those are the first words my man has ever spoken to my sister.” Then I asked, “How’s that for an introduction?”

“FYI, darlin’, need to vote but Hop ain’t wrong. Sounds like Chaos will cover her bond,” Tack shared, and my mouth fell open.

Then I closed it to request, “Can you at least try to be a normal person in a crazy situation?”

“No.” Tack denied my request.

Argh!

“You need to leave,” I ordered. “I need to go ape-shit on my old man and I’m not wearing any underwear.”

Tack burst out laughing.

Ugh!

Bikers!

“Right, we’ll call you back,” Hop said to my sister. “Yeah, nice to meet you, too.”

Seriously?

I flopped back on the bed.

“We need to call a meet, brother. Lanie’s mom’s a banker’s wife. According to the sister, she’s flippin’ out and Lis’s old man isn’t hip on puttin’ up collateral for what he calls, ‘that nutcase’ so he refuses to do it. We gotta get her ass outta jail,” Hop shared.

“I’ll make the calls,” Tack agreed.

“Obliged,” Hop replied.

“Lanie,” Tack called.

“What?” I snapped to the ceiling.

“Look at me, babe.”

I got up on my elbows and glared at Tack.

“You’re right. Your head isn’t messed up,” Tack stated, then his face got soft when he finished, “Glad to have you back, darlin’.”

Damn.

I was going to cry.

“Stop being nice when I’m ticked,” I demanded but my words were shaky.

Tack just grinned.

I deep breathed.

Hop moved to him, they did a fingers-wrapped-around-wrists biker, badass handshake and I heard Tack mutter, “She’s good. You did good, brother.”

To which Hop muttered back, “In more ways than one.”

They smiled at each other while I fought off tears.

Tack left.

I decided to focus on being angry in order not to let loose the tears, so I glared at Hop as he moved to the end of the bed.

“I’m ticked at you,” I declared.

He hit the bed with his hands then his knees and crawled up it toward me and he looked so hot doing that, suddenly I wasn’t ticked anymore.

He also ignored my declaration and asked, “You wanna go to Connecticut?”

“Heck no,” I answered as he made it up my body and lowered his weight on me.

“Babe, your mom’s in jail, your dad’s in the hospital.”

“Their tangled web,” I replied. “I have campaigns going live. I’ve got meetings with my counselor I’d rather not put off because they’re working. I’ve got a cop I need to explain some things to. And I’ve got to have a key cut so my man can come to my place whenever he wants. I don’t have time to fly to Connecticut to sort out the lives of two adults who should have sorted themselves out three decades ago.”

“Fair enough but you missed somethin’ in listing all your obligations,” Hop said.

“And what’s that?” I asked.

“Wrappin’ that mouth of yours around your man’s cock.”

I did a top-to-toe shiver.

Hop felt it and grinned.

Then he dropped his lips to mine and kissed me. It lasted awhile and I was holding on, fairly hot and very bothered when he lifted his head.

“You’re seein’ a counselor and it’s workin’?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah,” I answered.

“Proud of you, lady.”

I smiled.

Hop’s eyes dropped to my mouth and he kissed me again.

About five minutes later, I got down to seeing to one of my obligations.

I worked hard at it, enjoying every second and, pleased to report, my endeavors were a success.

“You’re such a pain!”

This was shouted by Cutter one second after Rider shoved him in the shoulder. Half a second after he shouted, Cut took a step back then lunged forward and tackled Ride whereupon they both hit my rug and started wrestling.

Tack, who was enjoying a beer in my living room with Hop, and Tyra, who was in the kitchen preparing dinner with me, totally ignored them.

This was often their tactic.

“As long as they aren’t close to somethin’ that can hurt them or somethin’ breakable, we let ’em duke it out,” Tack had told me.

I wasn’t certain this was an optimal parental choice but I’d never seen bikers raised from womb to badass. It was probably good they knew their way around a slug fest from a young age.

Needless to say, Tack had told Tyra about Hop and me, and Tyra had wasted no time phoning me. We had a conversation that was uncomfortable for both of us, since she’d shared the BeeBee information and I hadn’t shared anything at all. I’d had to explain, without giving away too much of Hop’s business he didn’t want spread around, that she’d been mistaken. He didn’t cheat, he’d been on a break. Then I’d used Hop’s words to tell her what he and I had was “real”; figuring she’d lived in the biker world longer than me, she would understand.

She did but she was my best friend. I knew she’d want physical evidence.

So of course she told me she, Tack, and the boys were coming for dinner. “So I can see for myself that this is all good.”

Considering the fact that they’d walked up to my back door when Hop was laying a hot and heavy one on me in the kitchen—so hot and heavy we hadn’t heard their SUV parking in my back drive—Tyra got an eyeful of how good it was.

So did Tack, Ride, and Cut, with Rider not thinking much of what he’d seen, something which he shared upon entering by yelling at me, “That’s gross! Mister Hop had his tongue in your mouth!” After which he instantly turned to his father and kept yelling, “You do that to Mom too and it’s sick!”

Hop chuckled.

Ty-Ty gazed at her son with a smile twitching at her mouth.

Tack didn’t miss a beat and muttered, “I’ll remind you of those words when we have our first pregnancy scare.”

To this Hop chuckled more. I joined in but Tyra cut narrowed eyes to her man while Rider looked confused and Cut shouted, “La-La, I want blue Powerade! Now!”

I set the kids up with Powerade. The men got beers and firmly planted themselves in the living room, not in my family room, which was too close to the kitchen and thus might mean they’d be called on to do something like open jars or chop onions. Tyra and I got down to cooking.

“So, let me get this straight. The bondsman accepted an out-of-state cosigner. Your mom was released. She went home and tossed all your dad’s shit out on the lawn and called a locksmith. He got released from the hospital, came home and couldn’t get into the house but found his crap in the yard and a note on the door telling him she was going to clean him out during the divorce proceedings. The police were called again when he kept pounding on the door and shouting. He was told to find elsewhere to stay. Your mom asked your sister to find her an AA meeting. And you’re in love with Hopper Kincaid,” Tyra stated and I smiled at her.

“That about sums it up,” I confirmed.

“Holy crap,” she replied.

“I know,” I agreed then went on. “Wish I was there when she was tossing all dad’s stuff on the lawn. Lis was. My sister is all over this. She’s liking a jailbird mom with a backbone so she’s decided she’s talking to Mom again and dragging her husband Bart along with her. So they were there when Mom was doing an extreme clean of the house. Bart thought it was a scream and took all Dad’s pictures of him with senators and congressmen off the wall of his study and flung them out the window. Lis said she wanted to throw stuff too but she was laughing too hard, and by the time she got herself together, they’d already taken care of business.”

“That’s crazy, Lanie,” Tyra told me.

“That’s the Heron Family, Ty-Ty. If there’s a statement to be made, you might as well do it with flair.”

She started giggling and I did it right along with her.

She sobered and caught my eye. “You okay with all this?”

I looked back down to the mushrooms I was slicing. “Yeah.” I pressed my lips together then turned to her and said softly, “Especially the AA part.”

“You think she means it?” Tyra asked.

“I think she’s never, not once, not even back in the day when Lis told them she didn’t want to speak to either of them until Mom sorted herself out, admitted she had a problem. They say admitting it is a not only the first step but the most important one so, yeah. I think she means it.”

“Happy for you,” she told me.

“Me too,” I replied and watched her eyes slide to the living room and back to me.

“How happy should I be for you?”

I understood what she was asking so I gave it to her.

“He’s gentle. He’s understanding. He’s proved over and over he has my back. He’s mellow, which is good to come home to when my mind is a mess and work is crazy. His kids are great, they like me, and I love watching him with them. He sang ‘You’ll Accomp’ny Me’ to me at a biker bar. And he loves me.”

Her eyes shot up at Hop singing to me and she breathed, “No joke? He sang to you?”

I shook my head. “No joke.”

“Tack told me he used to be in a band. Is he good?”

I smiled. “He’s a rock star.”

“I mean, is he good when you aren’t looking through love glasses,” she teased and I locked eyes with her.

“He should never have given it up. He’s phenomenal,” I stated firmly.

“Wow,” she whispered.

“You don’t know wow until you’ve seen Hopper onstage with a microphone and a guitar. Then you’ll know wow.”

Tyra grinned.

I went back to slicing mushrooms.

“ ‘You’ll Accomp’ny Me?’ ” she asked quietly.

I looked back at her. “It was the best moment of my life until he said last night, ‘Do you have any fuckin’ clue how much I love you?’ ”

Her eyes got big.

“Wow,” she repeated.

“Yes. Now that was wow.” I pulled in a deep breath and turned to her. “He’s mine. I’m terrified. Love hasn’t gone real well for me. He gets that. He’s patient. We fight. It hurts. But somehow, after each fight, we come out stronger.”

“If it’s right, that’s how it works,” Tyra shared.

“I’m getting that now.”

“I wish you would have told me,” she said carefully and I shook my head.

“I don’t know how it happened, Ty-Ty. I don’t know what I saw that led me to him but I’m glad I followed my gut and my heart because it was Hop I needed to guide me through letting the past go. It couldn’t be you. I was blaming myself for you getting hurt. It had to be someone else and there isn’t anyone in my life, even my sister, who could do it with the tenderness and understanding Hop gave me.”

Her eyes got bright but her lips smiled and she again said, “Wow.”

“Absolutely,” I replied. “Wow.”

My phone rang.

Rider shouted, “Mom! Cut poked me in the eye!”

I grabbed my phone as Tack called, “Boy, get your butt over here. You know, the rare happens and your mother’s in the kitchen, you don’t disturb her.”

Tyra rolled her eyes at me and headed to the living room.

I put my phone to my ear. “Hey.”

“You’re banging a biker?”

It was Elvira.

“Elvira—” I began only to be cut off.

“Okay, I been around those hot boys and I got me a fine piece of goodness in my bed but that don’t mean I don’t notice the goodness all around me when I’m on Chaos. So I get you, goin’ there with a brother. What I don’t get is your two sisters sat there, eatin’ up tasty morsels about your man, and you just stood there like a deer caught in headlights and didn’t say shit?”

“Elvira—” I tried but failed.

“Tyra called me, told me she got the wrong end of the stick and shared Hop was on a break with his ex-bitch when he was doin’ the nasty with a biker groupie. Still, girl, what the fuck?”

“Well—”

“I knew he was a good guy. I can sniff ’em out. The assholes. He didn’t smell like no asshole. So it threw me for a loop, thinkin’ he was a cheater. Thought my radar had gone screwy. Good to know I still got it goin’ on.”

“I’m glad that—”

“But you standin’ there, not sayin’ a word? Girl, you crazy?”

“Actually, yes,” I got out.

“Yeah, you are. Always knew that. Don’t know why I’m askin’,” she took a breath then changed subjects. “Chaos bonded out your mom?”

“Yeah. She’s good.”

“Sistah,” she drew this word out, “you’ve had a helluva day,” she declared and she was not wrong. I heard her shout, “What?” Then nothing, then, “Be right there, baby.” She came back to me. “Date night. Movie, dinner and a little somethin’ somethin’. Pray for me that work doesn’t call him in the middle of our entrée. That happens a lot and it never fails to shit me but what am I gonna do? My man serves and protects. It’s my sacrifice for the population of Denver.”

I grinned at my phone. “I’m praying.”

“Good,” she stated, then, “You happy?”

“Yeah, Elvira, I’m happy.”

“Good,” she whispered. “Finally.”

She was right about that.

Then I heard her shout, “Keep your pants on!” And back to me, “Gotta go. I’m pourin’ martinis in you sometime next week. I want it all but only the PG=rated parts. I do not want to know what that ’tache feels like on your skin.”

Even if she did, I wouldn’t share that.

That was all for me.

She continued, “It’ll give me ideas, and it’ll mean I can’t come over for dinner with you and Hop the week after next ’cause I won’t be able to look him in the eye if I know what that ’tache feels like on my skin. I’ll text you with a night Malik and I can make it. I’m ordering your fried chicken and pecan pie so be prepared.”

I guessed Hop and I were entertaining Elvira and Malik.

That worked for me. I just hope it worked for Hop.

“Right. I’ll wait for your text.”

“Lanie?” she called.

“Right here, sweetie.”

“Keep hold of happy. You deserve it. It’s found you. Don’t let go,” she ordered.

I really loved Elvira.

“I’ll keep hold, honey.”

“Good,” she stated then, “Later, girl.”

“Later.”

She disconnected and I looked through the kitchen to the living room.

Tyra was bent at the waist, Cutter in front of her, and she was talking in his ear.

Tack was lounged back on my couch, motorcycle boots on my coffee table, arm thrown wide, bottle of beer in his hand, Rider on his knees beside his dad, leaning in but his hands were wrapped around a video game that he was resting on his dad’s chest.

But Tack’s eyes were aimed at his woman and he had that look in them.

The look of love.

My gaze drifted to Hop. He was seated almost exactly like Tack except his neck was twisted to look over the back of the couch, his eyes on me.

He had the same look in his eyes as Tack.

But it was all for me.

I felt my face get soft and I smiled.

I watched his face get soft and he smiled back.

Keep hold of happy… It’s found you. Don’t let go.

Finally, I understood.

I was wrong and Hopper was right.

You didn’t avoid having something beautiful because you were terrified of losing it.

You fought to keep it.

And when you got it, you kept hold.

I was going to keep hold.

Always.