Forged in Steele

CHAPTER 32

“TIRED?” Steele asked when he returned from the kitchen, where he’d put away the groceries they’d bought on the way back from the Kelly compound. The bags containing the clothing they’d purchased had been dumped onto Steele’s bed and then Maren had promptly flopped onto the couch, head back, all but wilting into the cushions.

“Yeah,” she said, not opening her eyes.

“Too much today?”

She opened her eyes and stared back at him from underneath her lashes. “No, it was fun. I needed it. I’ve been cut off from everyone for so long. In my worst hours, I feared never seeing any of those people again.”

Steele sat on the end of the couch and motioned for her to come to him. He turned sideways and pulled her between his thighs and began rubbing her shoulders, smoothing those big, strong hands over the muscles. She sighed and closed her eyes, leaning further into his embrace.

“What about you?” she asked drowsily. “Today couldn’t have been fun for you. You were front and center and I know you had to hate that.”

He made a sound that seemed a cross between amusement and resignation. “Yeah. I won’t lie and say it was fun. But it wasn’t bad. Love is new to me, Maren. It changes things, you know? I’ve always been content to sit back and let others take the spotlight. I do what has to be done and get the job done and let others deal with the details.”

“Yeah, I know,” Maren said softly.

“But today was . . . different. Good different. I didn’t mind being in the spotlight because you were there with me and I didn’t give a damn who knew it. You’re mine and I was proud to let them know that. You and my baby. I wanted them to look at me and think of what a lucky bastard I am.”

She turned in his arms, staring up at him, at the sincerity in his eyes, and her heart completely melted.

“You know, if I weren’t already pretty darn sure I was in love with you, that would have done it right there.”

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her. “Why don’t you call your folks first thing in the morning and tell them they can come out as soon as they can arrange it. I talked to Sam and he’ll have one of the Kelly jets go get them. I told him I would pick them up at Henry County and they can stay a few days here so you can spend some time with them.”

“Damn, I love you more with every passing minute,” she murmured against his lips.

She kissed him again, long, slow, unhurried. Just reveling in the sensation of something new and shiny and oh so very precious.

“You’re a wonderful man, Steele. And behind that tough-as-nails exterior lies a heart of gold.”

“Yeah, well, don’t feel the need to tell everybody that,” he said gruffly. “You’re the only one who needs to know that kind of information.”

She grinned. “Don’t worry. If anyone asks, I’ll tell them you’re a controlling asshole with OCD issues.”

“And here I was contemplating letting you take me to bed and have your wicked way with me. But if I’m a control freak, maybe I should reconsider that option and start ordering you around.”

She thumped him on the chest. “We’ve already been over that, buster. Not going to happen in this lifetime.”

“A guy can try,” he said innocently.

“I’m liking your idea, though,” she mused, pretending to give the matter serious consideration. “How wicked can I get?”

He kissed her again, deepening it this time. Long and more intense. His breaths quickened and his pulse thudded against her chest. She loved that she could make him react this way. That he wanted her. That he loved her.

It was a sensation she couldn’t describe. The wonder, the thrill of something new and still budding, growing stronger with every moment spent together. She wanted to savor it, hold it to her heart and never let it go. She would always remember these moments, even with the memory so fresh in her mind of her abduction and the terror she’d felt for so many weeks. But here and now with Steele made those unpleasant memories fade. He wiped them clean, replacing them with love and tenderness.

He was hers. It still boggled her mind. This man, this warrior was hers. He’d chosen her. He wanted her. And now they were building a family along with what she hoped with all her heart was a long-standing relationship that would only grow stronger with time and care.

She wanted forever with him.

He pulled away, his eyes heavy with desire. “As wicked as your imagination will allow.”

“In that case, you’re in for a very long night,” she murmured. “I’ll call my parents in the morning, and we’ll deal with tomorrow when it comes. But tonight? All I want to think about is you and me and me making you beg for mercy.”

“There’ll be no begging,” he said.

She arched an eyebrow. “Too proud to beg, big guy?”

“Hell no, but if there’s any begging involved it damn sure won’t be for mercy. I want everything you have to give. But I won’t rule out begging for more.”

She struggled to get up and off him, and he gripped her arms, holding her steady as she climbed off the couch. Then she extended a hand to help him up.

“How fast can you get naked?” she asked in a teasing voice.

As they started toward the bedroom, Steele left a trail of clothing behind them. By the time they were in the door, he was completely naked and it was obvious he was heavily aroused.

“God, you’re beautiful,” she breathed as she stood staring, taking in his lean, muscled physique.

“You keep stealing my lines,” he grumbled. He closed in on her, advancing until he was pressed to her, naked and glorious. “You’re the beautiful one, Maren. And you have too many damn clothes on.”

“Want to help me out with that little problem?” she asked innocently.

“Damn straight.”

He pulled at her pants until they fell to her feet. “Help me out here and kick out of them. I’m more interested in getting this shirt off you.”

She did as he asked as he pulled impatiently at the rest of her clothing. With each piece that disappeared, he kissed her, molding his body to hers, his hands roaming up and down her body until she was shivering with desire.

She reached down, curling her hand around his rigid erection, stroking up and down in a gentle motion. He went still against her, his mouth against her neck, and his breath came out harsh and hot against her skin.

“I guess the one good thing is that we no longer have to worry about condoms,” she said in a husky voice.

He smiled against her neck and then licked before nipping at the sensitive flesh. “Not that they did any damn good the first time.”

She laughed. “No, I guess this baby was meant to be.”

He pulled away, his eyes serious as he stared down at her. He cupped her chin, angling her mouth up toward his.

“We were meant to be, Maren. I fought it, just like I fought my attraction to you. It bewildered and pissed me off all at the same time. But I knew the moment I gave in, that very first night we were together, everything changed. Even though I continued to fight it and I walked away. I’ll always regret that.”

“But you came back,” she whispered.

“Yeah, I did, and I wish to hell I hadn’t left again.”

She put a finger to his lips. “It wasn’t your fault, Steele. You can’t take responsibility for some lunatic’s actions. You were doing your job.”

“My job is to protect you and our baby,” he said fiercely.

“And I have every confidence you’ll do just that. Now shut up and kiss me. I never thought I’d say this about you, but you talk too damn much.”

He laughed, transforming the utter graveness in his face and eyes to something lighter, more joyful. She loved that look on him. And she wanted to be responsible for making him lose some of the coldness that had surrounded him for so long. His days as the ice man were gone.

He lowered his mouth, taking hers in a possessive, passionate kiss that stole her breath. Her lips tingled under his loving assault. Her lips parted and his tongue swept in, tasting and teasing her.

Then to her surprise he lowered himself down her body until he knelt in front of her, his mouth level with her belly. He placed his hands gently on her hips and then pressed his mouth just above her navel in the most loving of kisses.

“Our child,” he said, awe in his voice. “I’m blown away by the fact that my baby is inside you, growing in your womb. I don’t have words, Maren. I never imagined this. Never planned for it. Never thought I’d be kneeling in front of a woman I love touching the place where my child is nestled. But now that I am, now that I have you and our baby, I can’t even describe what it means to me. You’re gifts I never thought I’d be given, and I intend to cherish and protect you both with my dying breath.”

She ran her hand through his short-cropped hair, lovingly stroking as he kissed her belly again. Tears crowded her eyes as she took in the enormity of this moment. She wanted to remember this forever. She wanted this moment to last forever.

This man, this gruff, beautiful man kneeling in front of her with such reverence and love in his voice. He spoke of her and their child being a gift, but he was her gift. One she’d never thought to receive as well.

When she was old and gray, she’d remember this moment. She’d tell her child of the time her father knelt in front of her and kissed her stomach, vowing to love and protect her always. She’d tell her child how very much she was loved from the very beginning.

“I love you, Maren,” Steele whispered against her belly. “I need you to believe that. I don’t know how or when it happened. But it’s there and it feels like it’s always been there. I can’t remember what it was like before you. Only that until you, my life was cold, lifeless and mechanical. No color. No vibrancy. I didn’t live. I existed. You changed all that. Before, my purpose, my goal, was to protect others. My life didn’t matter and I would have given it to protect my team or a person we’d been sent to save. But now it matters. You matter. You are the most important person in my life now. Not my team. Not KGI. Not nameless victims we rescue. You and this child are my life. You’ve given me reason to really live and not just exist anymore. I don’t think you realize just how much you’ve changed me in a very short period of time.”

Tears slid soundlessly down her cheeks as she absorbed the heartfelt words that poured from his lips. He lifted his head, catching her gaze, and the look in his eyes took her breath away. They burned with intensity and sincerity. Every word was reflected in those fierce blue eyes she’d once thought were cold as ice.

Now they blazed with warmth and love.

She cupped his face in her hands, not even bothering to wipe the tears away. Then she leaned down and kissed him and then she hugged him to her, his cheek pressed to her belly.

“I love you too, Steele. Oh God, you undo me. What can I even say to all you just told me? You can’t even imagine how hearing that affected me. I never dreamed of anyone saying things like that to me. I want to soak them all in so that twenty years from now I’ll still remember every single word.”

He slowly rose, holding her to him as he straightened to his full height. He tipped her chin up so she was looking him in the eye.

“You don’t ever have to worry about forgetting,” he said quietly. “Because I’m going to remind you every single day.”

He backed her slowly to the edge of the bed, their bodies touching, his mouth hovering just over hers, and as he leaned her down, he kissed her again. Hot, scorching. His body came down over hers, pressing her into the bed. He was a warm blanket, surrounding her with him, with his love.

He rolled to the side so she was no longer bearing his full weight, but before she could protest, he pressed his mouth to the curve of her breast and gently nuzzled closer to her nipple. He caressed her belly and then moved his hand to her other breast, palming it and then carefully brushing his thumb across her other nipple.

“Are they more sensitive now?” he asked. “Are you okay with me touching you here?”

“Oh God yes,” she breathed.

He chuckled lightly. “Is that an oh God yes, they’re sensitive, or oh God yes, you’re okay with me touching you?”

“Both. They’re definitely more sensitive. In the first weeks of pregnancy you wouldn’t have been able to get anywhere near them. They were so sensitive it hurt to even touch them. But now they’re just more tender, I guess. But I love you touching me.”

“Then you won’t mind this either,” he murmured just before he lowered his mouth to one straining peak.

She moaned as he sucked her nipple carefully into his mouth, exerting light pressure but enough to make her crazy with want and need.

He lifted his head to look at her. “Too much?”

“Oh no. I love it. Please don’t stop.”

He lowered his head again and then he traced a line around her other nipple with his fingertip while he tongued the other.

“They’re darker,” he said.

He moved his hand down, splaying his fingers over her belly, rubbing and caressing.

“You’re firmer here. I can feel the beginnings of a bump. It’s small and barely discernible by sight, but I can feel it. It’s amazing.”

She smiled, completely mesmerized by his gentle exploration of her body and his noting the physical changes wrought by her pregnancy.

She’d had every intention of having her wicked way with him as she’d told him in the living room, but in truth, he was making love to her. Slow and exquisite. A sensual rediscovery after a long separation.

And it was making love. They’d had sex before. More intimate the second time, when they’d been getting to know one another on a deeper level. Forming the foundation of what would bring them to this, to the discovery of something meaningful. Love.

Love happened. She would have never thought that it could happen so rapidly. Love was something you worked at, and she had no doubt their relationship would take a lot of hard work and dedication. But it had simply happened. No explanation. No cataclysmic event or earth-shattering revelation brought on by some external event.

It had simply happened. And she had no desire to analyze it, to figure out how or why. She just knew that she loved this man, and God, he loved her too. Her heart was near to bursting with so many feelings, so many things she wanted to say but had no words for. The only thing she could do in this moment was to show him her heart. And that he’d entrenched himself so deeply within her very soul.

Time was simply that. Time. It moved at different speeds for different people. For her, she’d fallen in love with Steele when he’d come back and they’d spent those precious few days learning each other, talking about everything and nothing at all. She’d always treasure those stolen days before fate had taken them in different directions and before she feared she’d never get back to that place where she and Steele had begun something special and meaningful.

She was so grateful that fate had given them a second chance. That she was here in his arms. Safe. Protected. And so very cherished. She knew this was exactly where she wanted to be. No matter what the future held, she knew she wanted Steele there with her, facing whatever obstacles they encountered. Together. With him at her side, she knew that nothing was insurmountable. Nothing was too challenging. They were in this together and she had faith that no matter how new and fresh their relationship might be, they would face the future together.

He took his time, lavishing tender affection on every inch of her body, as if he too were memorizing and committing to memory this moment of rediscovery. As if he were reassuring himself that she was here and safe where nothing bad could touch her. He seemed determined to wash away the last months when she’d lived in constant fear and uncertainty.

And when he finally brought her to a fever pitch, her body flushed and aching with desire, he rose over her, parting her thighs to settle between them, his erection tucked just inside her opening.

“It’s like the first time all over again, Maren,” he said in a tender voice. “It’s our first time where we’re truly together. This isn’t sex. It’s much more than that. It’s my way of showing you my love, of showing you with more than words—words I can’t even express—how much I care about you. I don’t want to rush this. We have all night, and I intend to spend the entire night showing you just how much you mean to me.”

There was an odd catch in his voice. He sounded vulnerable. Laid bare in front of her and she realized that he’d never allowed himself to be so unguarded with another person. She was seeing a part of him he kept hidden away from the rest of the world, and it unraveled her that she was the one with whom he was sharing the deepest part of his soul. Parts of him that would never be seen by anyone but her. It meant more to her than she could ever verbalize, but she soaked it in, savoring every word, every touch. Tucking them away in her heart, where they’d live until the day she died.

“Then show me, Steele,” she whispered. “I’m yours. Only yours. I hope you know you can trust that part of yourself with me. I’ll never hurt you. I’ll never betray you. I’ll never share what is between us with another living soul. What’s between us is special. It belongs only to us. Private and precious. I’ll protect that and you with my every breath. You’ll never have another person who will protect your heart and soul the way I will, and that’s my promise to you.”

He closed his eyes and leaned forward until their foreheads touched and their noses brushed together. He kissed her just as he pushed inside her. Hot, molten. His hardness stroking deep but ever so gentle into her body.

“I’ll never wear another goddamn condom again,” he said hoarsely. “If you don’t want to remain knocked up for the next ten years or so, you’re going to have to use birth control because after having you without a condom, there’s no way in hell I can ever go back to having a barrier between us. Never felt anything so good, Maren. So hot and silky around my dick. It’s like diving into velvet and satin. You fit. We fit. We were meant to be,” he said, echoing his earlier words. “You were made for me. Only me.”

“Then it’s a good thing we decided to take the plunge,” she teased. “I’d hate to think of being an old maid waiting around for a man who never came for me.”

“That’ll never happen again,” he said, his expression one of utter seriousness. “You’re it for me, Maren. There’ll never be another woman for me. And I damn sure hope you feel the same way about me.”

“I think that’s pretty obvious,” she said breathlessly as he began to move inside her.

Long, deep strokes. Slow and sensuous. No rush. No impatience. Just leisurely, sensual movements as he slid in and out of her with measured thrusts.

He gathered her tightly in his arms, their bodies pressed together so tightly that there was no space between them. Only his hips moved as he rose and fell back into her. Her orgasm fluttered and rose, a long leisurely climb up the peak. It wasn’t explosive or earth-shattering. It was the most beautiful buildup she’d ever experienced. Higher and higher, fanning out until her blood sang with desire.

Even when his own release was imminent he didn’t pick up the pace. There was no urgency in his movements. He continued the slow build, rocking into her body, his arms wrapped around her, holding her so tightly that she could feel his heart beat against her chest.

He claimed her mouth, fusing their lips in a heated rush.

“Tell me what you need, Maren. What do you like? Teach me how to please you.”

“No instructions are necessary,” she said with a smile before offering her mouth for another kiss. “I love this. I love you. Come with me, Steele. I’m so close and it’s so beautiful. Like nothing I’ve ever felt. No frenzied, panting explosive orgasm. Just . . . beautiful. Soul deep. I feel you in every part of me. You’re there.”

“You’re in me too, Maren. You’re the best part of me. You occupy my heart. My soul. My every waking thought and when I go to sleep, you’re there, in my dreams, and when I wake up and see you next to me, I can’t even describe the satisfaction that grips me. It’s like I’ve waited my whole life for you and it feels right to have you right here beside me. In my space. My bed. My life.”

His words washed over her, heightening her desire as a wave of love and emotion consumed her. She wrapped herself around him. Arms, legs, trying to imprint herself into his very soul.

He tightened over her, his face suddenly becoming strained, and his breaths sped up and he pushed deeper.

“Are you ready, Maren? Do I need to slow down so you can catch up? I want you to get there. With me. Always with me.”

She touched his face, gently caressing the lines of his jaw and then feathering over his lips. “I’ll always be with you, Steele. Me and our child. We’re a family now. Your family.”

Emotion rippled over his face and he couldn’t seem to form the words he was trying to say. He looked overcome and so she held him tighter, urging him to his release as hers washed over her like a soothing wave. Beautiful. Poignant. Unlike any orgasm she’d ever experienced.

It rippled through her in waves, intense and pleasurable. And then his movements quickened, almost like he no longer had control over his body and it acted instinctively, driving into her as his muscles coiled and contracted. He filled her with his warmth, the hot jets of his release bathing the inside of her vagina and making his thrusts easier.

She arched into him, wanting all of him, all he had to give. She wanted every inch of him inside her so that she surrounded him and took everything he had to offer.

She kissed him again, easing the lines of tension around his mouth, and then she pressed her forehead to his again just before he collapsed onto her, blanketing her with the heat of his body.

For the longest moment they lay there in silence, each breathing deeply as they recovered from the emotional intensity of the moment. She stroked his back, caressing up and down and over his shoulders, offering him her touch.

He buried his face in her neck and then kissed just below her ear.

“Never been this way with another woman, Maren. Only you. Always you. There’ll never be another.”

She smiled, soaking in the quiet vow.

“It’s a good damn thing,” she said lightly. “I’d hate to have to go kick someone’s ass for encroaching on my territory. I’m tempted to make you wear a sign that says ‘Taken. Hands Off.’”

He chuckled, his chest vibrating against hers. “And I think I’ll get you a shirt that says ‘Don’t mess with a pregnant woman.’”

“Very sound advice.”

He rolled, taking her with him so they remained connected, him still deeply embedded in her.

“I know I should get up and get a towel to clean us up, but I don’t want to move. I like it right here inside you. How ’bout we just change the sheets in the morning and sleep just like this.”

She kissed him, lingering just over his lips. “Works for me.”