Friends to Die For

Twenty-one

In their respective homes, the various friends struggled to come to terms with the aftermath of arrest and incarceration.

Tiny and Billy clung to each other, mentally and physically, seeking comfort.

Suddenly, Billy broke free of his partner’s embrace and asked: ‘Why did you go looking at puppies without telling me, darling?’

‘I told you, I told you as soon as we left the police station,’ Tiny replied. ‘You’d said you weren’t ready yet for another dog. You were quite definite about that. I had this crazy idea that if I found some gorgeous little puppy, and maybe showed you a photograph or something, you wouldn’t be able to resist. I don’t just want another dog, sweetheart, I feel like I need a dog about the place again. Surely you understand?’

Billy pulled away from him.

‘Look, Tiny, I’m sorry, but this has been on my mind all evening,’ he said. ‘You did go to Uxbridge, darling, didn’t you?’

Tiny stared at him for several seconds. Tears formed in his big brown eyes.

‘I can’t believe you’re asking me that, Billy,’ he said. ‘Not you, you of all people.’

Murder creates many victims. There are grieving friends and relations of the deceased, the neighbours, colleagues and casual acquaintances shocked by the proximity of such violence. Then there are the suspects, not only those arrested and questioned as part of the official investigation, but those who fall under suspicion from their own family members and friends. And even if they have no doubts about each other’s innocence, there is always the question of blame. Would the young woman murdered after a night out with a group of mates still be alive if one of them had taken the trouble to walk her home? Could a child’s life have been saved if the parent or sibling or friend who was supposed to be looking after them had been more vigilant? Should we somehow be able to spot the paedophile, the rapist, the psychopath in our midst before they commit some terrible crime?

In the face of such guilt and recrimination, relationships that hitherto seemed rock-solid suddenly slide into a quagmire of doubt, fear and grief. Successful careers flounder. Men and women who have held down demanding jobs, led productive lives, cease to function. Children and young people who have previously been promising students, happy and fun-loving, lose the ability to learn or play. Decent human beings of all ages go off the rails, dropping out, running away, turning to violence. Those who have only dabbled in drink or recreational drugs, lose the ability to keep their habit in check.

Lives are wrecked, beyond all hope of retrieval.

Bob spent the evening alone, unable to eat, drink or sleep. He wanted to pick up the phone, to at least speak to another human being, to call a friend. But he couldn’t trust his friends any more, could he? He wanted to phone his son, only it had been so long since he’d spoken to Danny that he couldn’t just call him, out of the blue, and pour his heart out. And his friends, the little group in which he had once been so grateful to be included, were murder suspects, who, just like him, stood accused of killing one of their own. Bob felt totally alone. What had been done could not be undone. He could see no reason to carry on living. If he had the courage, he thought, he would find a way to end what passed for his life. But he didn’t have the courage. So instead he paced the perimeters of his cramped flat and the terrace which usually brought him solace but offered him none tonight. Only at dawn did he fall into a fitful sleep on his sofa.

Ari locked the door of his apartment, ignored the pleas of his mother and the fury of his father, lifted his bathroom cabinet from the wall, removed a small panel of plaster from behind and took from the cavity his reserve stash of crack cocaine. To his relief, a full-scale police search had failed to locate it. Then he snorted his way to oblivion.

Alfonso also spent the night seeking oblivion, which, apart from his brief and unsuccessful attempt to return to work and carry on as if everything was normal, had more or less been his only aim in life since being released from Brixton Prison. He too had locked himself away, in a far less salubrious bedroom than Ari’s, at his mother’s Dagenham home, with a litre-bottle of supermarket whisky. He had sunk into drunken depression, made worse by his mother’s near-hysterical response to all that had happened. She seemed to have barely stopped crying.

George also shut himself away in his flat. He passed the evening tending his orchids, trimming back any dying stalks, giving them feed. George loved the way orchids responded, sometimes quite spectacularly, to just a little TLC. He wondered if he were getting like Bob, who often gave the impression that he preferred plants to people. Certainly George wanted no other companionship that night. He felt utterly drained.

Greg and Karen had barely spoken to each other since their release. Karen was no longer in tears. She just seemed angry. Very angry. Mostly with Greg. It didn’t occur to Greg that Karen could have had anything to do with the death of their two friends, but she was now making her suspicions of him quite clear. He understood that she must feel wounded, and indeed have doubts about him, since learning details of his past life that he had never previously revealed to her. But she appeared to suddenly believe him capable of almost anything, as if their many years of happy fruitful union meant nothing to her. Or that was the way Greg saw it. And he found that far more distressing than having been arrested and held in custody.

As soon as they arrived at their flat Karen called her mother, who was both babysitting and dog-minding, and asked if she would keep dogs and children for another night, and take the kids to school in the morning. Karen fielded her mother’s questions and expressions of concern and ended the call summarily. Then she turned her attention to her husband.

‘I want to know everything that’s going on,’ she stormed. ‘Why didn’t you tell me about this Mr Kwan? Am I married to a gangster? Is that the truth of it?’

‘Of course not,’ Greg responded, stricken. ‘I’m no gangster. I could have become one, though. You know the sort of kids I was running with back then. But once I met you, that was it. All I wanted was you and our kids. To become a decent family man. And I’ve done my best. You must know that.’

‘All I know is what you’ve told me,’ Karen replied, her voice loud and shrill. ‘And I don’t know what the hell to believe any more.’

She began to weep, unstoppable tears of rage and despair. Greg tried to console her, to reassure her. Desperate to get things back to the way they had been, he tried to explain.

‘Look, Kwan got in touch with me, not the other way round. I hadn’t seen him or heard from him for years. He wanted me to do something for him — I still don’t know what. I told him no. Then my tyres got slashed and there was the brick through the window. I reckoned it had to be him, that’s why I kept telling you it had nothing to do with all the other stuff. To get him off our backs, I went to see him, told him I’d do whatever it was he wanted. He hasn’t called on me yet and chances are, he won’t. That’s how he operates. The whole thing could’ve been a test, a way of putting me in my place. You never know with Kwan. But I had to go along with it, Karen. You must see that. I was afraid for you, and the kids.’

‘Don’t you try to put the blame on me!’ Karen shouted. ‘None of this has got anything to do with me. Why didn’t you go to the police, you stupid idiot?’

‘You don’t understand—’

‘Oh yes I do. Leopards don’t change their bleedin’ spots. I knew you’d been a bit of a wild one, but I thought you’d changed. And I never knew you were involved with them Chinese gangsters.’

‘Look, I’m not—’

‘Yes, you bloody are. And if you think anything of me and our kids, Greg, you’d better get in touch with that man Kwan right now — right now, d’you hear — and tell him once and for all that you want nothing more to do with him.’

Greg opened his mouth to explain that he didn’t dare do that. That she had no idea what Kwan would do to someone he regarded as one of his own who turned his back on the Triads. But he knew Karen wouldn’t listen. There was nothing he could say that would make her understand, any more than anything he could say would console or reassure her.

Automatically he reached into his pocket for his mobile phone. Then cursed under his breath. It was still impounded. He picked up the house phone, dialled directory enquiries and asked for a number for the Zodiac Club. The number he was given was the public one, not the private number for Kwan’s office. It rang a few times, then he was connected to a message service.

Conscious of Karen’s eyes on him, he began to speak:

‘This is a message for Mr Kwan from Greg, I mean Gregory Walker.’ Greg paused, desperate to find the right words, aware that there were no words for this situation. For this man.

‘I, uh, just wanted to apologize, to say, I’m sorry,’ he continued. ‘But I’m afraid I will not be, um, available to work for you after all. Not in the near future, that is. I have, uh, family problems, you see. I hope you will understand, Mr Kwan. I know what a great family man you are. And, uh, well, I just want to say how sorry I am.’

He ended the call.

‘Why don’t you grovel a bit?’ asked Karen.

Greg held out his hands. ‘I’ve done what you asked, haven’t I, doll?’ he pleaded. ‘What more do you want?’

‘Too little too bleedin’ late. What I want is some honesty from my alleged husband.’

‘“Alleged husband” — what the fuck are you going on about?’

The row escalated. Greg’s phone call to Kwan seemed to have done nothing to defuse the situation. Karen remained furious. Greg became furious. They argued on and on. The neighbours to one side knocked on the wall. Several times. Neither of them even heard the knocking.

‘You can’t seriously believe that I murdered Marlena and Michelle?’ asked Greg, incredulous.

‘Can’t I?’ Karen shouted the words at the top of her voice. ‘Why the hell not? Maybe Tony Kwan told you to do it. Maybe you enjoy killing women. Maybe that’s something else I don’t know about—’

Greg took a step towards her. She was the love of his life. She was his life. He had never looked at another woman since he’d found her. She had always been his rock, supporting him in everything he’d ever done or attempted to do. Until now. Over and over, she kept telling him he wasn’t the man she’d thought he was. And he’d tried so hard to be that man. But apparently he’d failed. What did that make him? Did she genuinely believe he was capable of murdering Michelle and Marlena? No, she couldn’t, she had to know him better than that. She had to. Surely she was just trying to hurt him.

He reached out a hand, his eyes pleading. He touched her gently on one cheek.

She pulled back, swatting his hand away.

‘Don’t come near me! Don’t you dare touch me, don’t you ever touch me again, you evil bastard,’ Karen yelled.

Something snapped in Greg. Without realizing what he was doing, he slapped her. He had never in his life hit a woman, let alone his beloved Karen, but it was done before he knew what had happened.

She cried out, just once, and looked at him in horror. Tears formed in her eyes. She wiped them away with the back of one hand, and drew herself up, looking him in the eye as she did so. It was as if she was determined not to break down, not to show any weakness.

For what seemed a very long time neither of them spoke. It was Greg who broke the silence, horrified at what he had done.

‘I’m sorry, love. I am so sorry.’

All he wanted was to hold her close, and go on holding her all through the night. But the slap had changed everything.

Curiously, Karen’s anger seemed to evaporate. When she spoke, her voice was quiet and calm, but her eyes were cold as ice.

‘I’m going to bed,’ she said. ‘Don’t try to follow me into the bedroom. I think you’d better sleep out here on the sofa, don’t you?’

Greg just stared at the floor. He didn’t look up until she’d left the room. Soon afterwards he heard the key to their bedroom door turn. The lock he’d installed so they could ensure privacy from the kids, keep their sex life going strong. And some of the best sex had been make-up sex, after a row. But that wasn’t going to happen tonight.

He so wanted to hammer on the door, beg Karen to let him in, try again to explain everything. At least get her to forgive him for hitting her. To make her believe it would never ever happen again.

But he had enough sense to know that would only make matters worse. If they could be any worse. So instead he took a blanket from the airing cupboard and curled up on the sofa.

Unable to sleep, afraid to move in case she heard him and in doing so he angered her further, he lay there in the sitting room and waited for morning, when he hoped he might be able to begin to put things right.