Gabriel's Gift

Chapter Eight

The next time his father rang, Gabriel said he had sufficiently studied and thought about the picture. Now he was ready to lend it out. He said, ‘I’ll bring it to you after school, Dad. I can remember where you live.’

‘Whatever you do, don’t go walking about with that work of art. You might drop it! Take it easy right where you are. I’m coming to get it — now. Are you sure you’ve’ “studied” it enough?’

‘Well, I think I —’

Before Gabriel could reply, Dad replaced the receiver. Later that morning he was smiling on the doorstep.

‘What are you going to do with it?’ said Gabriel, bringing out the picture and handing it to him. Gabriel felt both proud of and guilty about the copy.

‘It’s going on the wall! Gabriel, you’re an angel!’ Dad opened it out and was looking at it. ‘It’s even better than I remember.’

Dad kissed the picture.

Gabriel said, ‘Don’t you want me to help you get it framed and put up?’

‘No thanks!’

‘But you haven’t even got a hammer!’

‘Don’t worry about that — I’ll use my dick!’

Gabriel said, ‘Why are you in such a hurry? Don’t you want to have a chat?’

‘Later. Things are starting to look up. Cheerio.’

Gabriel watched his father cycling up the road with the picture inside his jacket.

Gabriel didn’t hear from him again; he guessed his father was busy starting a new life. However, a few days later Hannah, on his mother’s instructions, was deputed to accompany Gabriel to his father’s house, where he was to spend the afternoon.

Hannah, who stood on the doorstep in her vast black overcoat, heavy shoes and hat, looked like someone from another age. But at least she had sartorial self-respect, thought Gabriel. The rest of the older population now resembled a legion of disoriented mountaineers, in lightweight, all-weather clothes covered in pockets, with labels like Eiger and South Face.

‘Come on, then,’ he said, helping her down the steps. ‘And make sure I don’t fall into the clutches of any drug dealers on the way.’

Hannah rarely went further than the local shops and market. As Gabriel led her to the bus stop and saw how alarmed she was by the swirling indifferent crowd and its numerous languages, he talked to her continuously. Still she insisted on taking his hand; not, he realized, to lead him, but for fear of getting lost herself.

Seeing the various neighbourhoods from her point of view — for a while it seemed advantageous to pretend to himself that he was in Calcutta — he noticed that the bus, onto which they had had to clamber at the traffic lights as the driver appeared to see no other reason for slowing down, was driven by a monosyllabic lunatic who only stopped when shouted at by the passengers, most of whom were listening to music on headphones. Other ‘customers’ chatted loudly on their mobiles and almost everyone else gibbered and swore to themselves. Then the bus — because of road works, he was told — didn’t take its usual route but seemed to veer around West London almost at random, with the frantic passengers shouting instructions each time they saw a sign saying DIVERSION.

She was solid, Hannah, and, back on the street, moved only slowly, with a kind of shuffle, whereas everyone else was engulfed by the stream; a moment’s hesitation could engender a homicide. Gabriel tried to stand between her and this eventuality.

By the time they reached Dad’s house she seemed exhausted. But when, on the pavement outside, she heard people speaking in her language, Hannah’s face brightened and she started to follow them into the building. Gabriel had to tell her to stay where she was.

‘Why —?’ she began.

‘Dad might be in a bad mood,’ he explained.

She stepped back sadly. Gabriel couldn’t let her see Dad’s place for fear she wouldn’t be able to resist telling his mother that he was drinking beer, surrounded by ashtrays, dirty plates, and his only asset, a picture by an old rock star.

Gabriel then took her to the bus stop, accompanied her onto the ship of fools and instructed someone to tell her when to get off. Then, as she looked so bewildered, and he was grateful not to be her, he bent down to her face and kissed her. Her hands went to his and she kissed him back, in gratitude. He waved from the street as her terrified face flew into the traffic.

At last he was pushing on his father’s door.

‘Here comes the son!’ called Dad gaily. He was in bed in all his clothes, apart from his trousers, reading the paper. ‘Little darlin’!’

‘You’re cheerful today,’ said Gabriel. ‘What are we going to do? Is it a museum or the cinema? There’s a film I want to see.’ He patted his pocket. ‘Don’t worry, Mum’s given me the money.’

‘Why — does she think I haven’t got any?’

‘She knows you, Dad.’

‘And she thinks I’m useless. If we want to see a film we can do it. We can go anywhere we like — almost.’

‘How come?’

‘You’ll see. Pass me my trousers. Have you noticed that they’re new combats?’

Gabriel was looking around. ‘Where’s Lester’s picture?’

His father got up energetically but slipped on several discarded beer cans and landed back on the bed.

Gabriel helped him up and said, ‘Take it easy, Dad. Save the falls for a stadium.’

‘When I find the motherfucking floor and my shoes I’m going to show you where your picture is.’

‘We have to go somewhere? You said it was on the wall.’

‘It is on the wall. Not on this wall, necessarily. But it is definitely on a wall. A wall is a wall, isn’t it? Or are you picky about your walls?’

‘I am picky about them, as it happens. I like my possessions to be on walls I know.’

‘Do you want to see it or not?’

‘I’m less keen now.’

Dad was putting his trousers on. ‘Christ, you’re in a dismal mood.’

‘You’ve put me in one, funky fingers,’ said Gabriel.

‘You’ll be OK in a minute. Got any grass?’

‘I’ve given up, Dad.’

‘Mum tell you off?’

‘It was making me paranoid … and I kept seeing strange things. Chairs and stuff.’

‘Yeah, I’ve had paranoia in my time. No chairs, though. I wouldn’t want that. Chairs? Was it the stuff you got at school or the stuff I grew at home?’

‘All of it. I’ve been getting very lost in my own head and sometimes I feel I’ll never get out, as if I’m —’

‘Come on now, we’ve got things to do.’

As they went out, Gabriel noticed, leaning against the entrance, the man with the curly slippers who’d threatened Dad. He nodded as they went past, as if he knew everything about them.

After travelling a short distance, Dad locked up the bicycle and they walked to a hamburger restaurant with a flashing neon sign announcing the name, Splitz.

The girl on the door greeted Dad like a friend, kissing him on both cheeks.

‘What sort of place is this?’ Gabriel said. ‘What are we doing here?’

‘Speedy — the boss and owner — is an old pal. He used to hang around the bands. When we were on tour, he started to cook for us. He was so slow because he couldn’t stop wittering on that he was called Speedy. Look at him now, shaking his withered old pussy in cream while we’re just — just creamed!’

Gabriel looked at tourists and adolescents in London for the day, eating hamburgers as big as rugby balls, knickerbocker glories and sundaes like icebergs.

‘But Dad —’

Dad said, ‘Yo! Speedy!’

Hurtling towards them, Speedy was middle-aged with a young man’s face, tinted yellow. He had good teeth and teenage American clothes.

‘This is him, my boy.’ said Dad.

‘At last,’ said Speedy. He took Gabriel’s hand and caressed it with long, manicured fingers. ‘He is blond, and not the wrong blond either! Those cheekbpnes could cut you open! Where did he get them?’

‘Not from me, obviously,’ said Dad.

‘And Lester’s friend, too! I can see why.’

Speedy laughed soundlessly by opening his mouth and pushing his head forward on its long wrinkled neck. Gabriel guessed that professionally he had to laugh a lot and this was the most economical way to do it.

‘How is dear Lester?’ Speedy asked.

On closer examination, Gabriel saw that Speedy’s head seemed to have been shrunken from a larger model, as if his features had shrivelled over the years.

‘The very same cool dude,’ said Dad. ‘I told you, I was hanging out with him just the other day. You know, when he gave me the … thing.’

‘Thing?’

‘The thing … on the wall.’

‘Yes, yes. That reminds me, there’s something I need to tell you. Hold on a minute.’

‘Bacchus with a face-lift,’ whispered Dad, as Speedy suddenly disappeared to have his lips nibble at another face.

On his return, Speedy said, ‘Come up to my operating table.’

They climbed the underlit stairs to a table set on a dais overlooking the restaurant, covered in papers, magazines, invitations and CDs. A waitress brought them milkshakes and beer.

‘Now,’ said Speedy, rubbing his hands together. ‘I’ll show you.’

‘I can’t wait,’ said Dad. To Gabriel he said, ‘I haven’t seen it yet! I didn’t want to look without you.’

‘You’ll be ecstatic,’ said Speedy. ‘This picture looks good!’

‘Sorry?’ said Gabriel.

‘Quiet,’ said Dad, picking up his beer glass. ‘Just wait and see, will you, Gabriel!’ He said to Speedy, ‘He’s very impatient.’

‘Good for him,’ said Speedy. ‘If you ask me, nothing you have to wait for is worth having.’

Gabriel was led past a wall on which hung gold discs and tour jackets; some of the jackets might have been made by his mother. There were photographs of menacing young men in ostentatious ‘Saturday’ clothes, boys who were once heroes to other boys. There were posters for American bands and movies, juke-boxes, ageing fruit machines and copulating clockwork rabbits in a glass case.

On a pillar, in a big silver frame, with a light ith over it, and a legend under it — ‘New Art Work — Lester Jones’ — was ‘Lester’s’ picture. It had gained another title too. Tick the Plate, Nigel,’ it was now called, for some unknown reason.

This was Gabriel first exhibition: the first time art by him had been hung in public. But soon Gabriel began to feel unwell and not only because he suspected that ‘art’ brought out the worst in people.

‘Well hung, eh?’ giggled Speedy. ‘It’s a work of art!’

‘A great work of great art,’ Dad repeated, putting his arm around Speedy.

‘Of course everything in Splitz is art,’ Speedy went on. ‘And is original. But this is even more original than the other originals, which are also original. It’s amazing. And here, with us, is Gabriel.’ said Speedy, turning instinctively to the camera that had been produced by the girl who’d greeted them at the door.

Gabriel, Speedy and the picture were photographed together. As Dad didn’t want to be left out, a photograph of Dad, Gabriel and the picture soon followed.

Dad said, ‘You going to put one of these pictures up here, Speedy?’

‘Maybe I will, if they turn out good.’

‘You’ve got lots of photographs. What you need in here,’ said Dad, ‘is a good old-fashioned painting of yourself, with you looking magnificent and handsome and in charge.’

‘That’s a great idea. Anyone can have a photograph done. But where would I get a portrait?’ Speedy adopted a final pose. ‘Now — smile one more time, folks!’

Throughout this Gabriel remained quiet, though he kept glancing at the picture.

He knew Lester would feel betrayed by having a personal gift displayed like this without being asked. Not only that, the night Gabriel had crept into his mother’s room, retrieved it from under the bed, and then stayed up, he hadn’t copied the picture exactly how it was. He had, in fact, ‘improved’ it a little here and there, adding other colours, lines and various experimental flourishes. Lester might have said that most art is theft; William Burroughs might have written that ‘all pictures are fakes’; but they can’t have meant it literally. The picture might not be exceptionally valuable but Gabriel had forged Lester’s signature — rather well, he thought. A career in crime would have been a possibility, if he weren’t so sensitive. If the truth came out, Gabriel would be in serious trouble not only with Speedy, his parents and Lester, but with the police. It was Archie’s fault. Archie had led him on. If Archie hadn’t been dead, Gabriel would have killed him.

Speedy went on, ‘I can tell you boys — people are coming in just to look at this. Real Lester enthusiasts with seventies hair. The problem is, Lester was kinda anorexic in those days, and they don’t eat as much as I would like. More good news — one of the national daily papers might run a story about it. What do you think about that, Gabriel?’

‘Gabriel!’ said Dad. ‘Pay attention!’

‘It’s lovely,’ said Gabriel. ‘Marvellously wonderful.’

Speedy went on, ‘Maybe they’ll use one of the pictures we just took! Your friends at school will be mightily impressed! Aren’t you pleased?’

Gabriel put on his shades. ‘I’m delighted.’

‘But you’re cool, too, eh?’

‘That’s right.’

‘Yes.’ said Dad. ‘He’s bloody cool.’

‘That’s good,’ said Speedy. ‘It’s how a young boy should be.’

‘I’m not that young,’ said Gabriel.

‘No, no, of course not,’ said Speedy. ‘At your age you seem to be all your ages at once.’

‘That’s right,’ said Gabriel. ‘It is like that.’

‘See,’ said Dad. ‘I told you Speedy was cool.’

‘Yeah,’ said Gabriel.

Back at the table Gabriel took his father’s beer and sipped it. Speedy beat him insistently on the shoulder. ‘What do you think?’

‘I’m very proud … of Lester,’ said Gabriel.

‘Good, good.’ said Speedy. ‘Me too.’

‘Really, aren’t you pleased?’ asked Dad, trying to peer into Gabriel’s glasses. ‘Everyone can see it now. It’s democratic, right? And of course you can come and sit here and look at it whenever you like.’

Gabriel asked Speedy, ‘Does Lester come here?’

‘Oh yes, yes. He has been here, a few years back,’ said Speedy. ‘But I can’t say he’s a regular visitor, no.’ Gabriel sighed in relief. ‘But his friends come in. Like guide dogs, they keep an eye on things for him.’

When at last, having ordered more drinks and food for Dad, and having spotted a TV presenter and a footballer at the entrance — though he was only a mid-fielder from the First Division — Speedy sped away. Gabriel tried to breathe more easily and take in the enormity of what had happened.

‘You’re quiet,’ said Dad. He was eating and drinking rapidly. ‘It’s free.’ His cheeks were bulging.

‘So? I’m thinking.’

‘Thank God for that. Your eye is twitching too. Do you know why?’

‘Did you get a good price for the picture?’

‘Sorry?’

‘Did you, Dad?’

Gabriel saw his father’s embarrassment. It hadn’t been his intention to make his father feel bad. In fact Gabriel had been thinking that, despite everything, they all had what they wanted. Gabriel’s mother had a picture by ‘Lester’; Speedy had a picture by ‘Lester’; Gabriel had the original in his room; and his father had some money.

‘Not what I’d expected or hoped for,’ said Dad. ‘Speedy’s shrewd. But what I got was better than nothing.’ Dad leaned across the table. ‘Sometimes living is more important than a few squiggles on a piece of paper.’

‘What will you do with the money? Get a flat in a mansion block?’

‘A flat? A toilet, maybe. Or a window — without curtains!’ His father laughed without humour.

‘How long will the money last?’

‘I’ve saved some for you, but otherwise it’s nearly gone.’

‘On what?’

‘Food, booze, rent and my debts, which are considerable. It’s expensive out there. Mum always looked after the money. I had no idea what things cost.’

‘What will you do now?’

‘I’ve borrowed more from the man downstairs. I had no choice. What else could I do?’

‘How will you pay it back?’

‘Really, I don’t know,’ said Dad. ‘I had a bad argument with the landlord and he’s told me to get out. I’m going to end up sleeping on the street. Look out for me at tube stations singing “The Streets of London”. I’m afraid it might be the end of the road for me, Angel.’

‘Can’t you stay with a mate?’

‘For how long? Anyway the wives won’t have me there.’

‘Why?’

‘They say I’m a bad influence! Me! I’ve known those people for years — and they won’t have me in the house! I tell you, kid, after a time, all a man wants is a little peace. Unfortunately, the calmest state of mind is happiness, and I’m a long, long way from that. Anyhow, I don’t think I should burden you with this. Is she seeing anyone else?’

‘I don’t think so.’

‘She is, then.’

‘I didn’t say that.’

‘You did. Is it that guy who was there the time I phoned? How often does she see him? Is he sleeping on my side of the bed with his head on my pillow?’ Dad sighed. ‘Sorry to ask you this stuff. How would you know anyway?’

‘I do know. I was under the bed.’

‘You were what?’

‘Only joking, Dad.’

Dad leaned forward, screwing up his face and squeezing his hands between his knees.

‘You’re making me crazy, Gabriel. Jesus! Will he move into my house? Will he take you, too? Christ, Gabriel, really I don’t want to know. I’m being wiped out. All the people closest to me have let me down. I’ve lost everything. Cheerio.’

‘No, Dad.’

‘I hope he’s looking after her. How old is he? Younger than me, and very active, too, I expect. She could be a beautiful lover, your mother. She’d do things to my ears, to my face, and the rest of me, for that matter, that would make your hair stand on end. That was when she bothered. But she stopped. It all stopped, and she started wearing those big grey knickers. That’s the thing about love, it’s a fire you have to feed, otherwise it goes out. This one, I’m afraid, is going out.’

Gabriel said nothing.

Dad said, ‘What a mess.’

His father turned his face away. Gabriel handed him a napkin. Dad blew his nose.

‘Oh, Dad,’ said Gabriel.

‘If you’re going to go on about how I’ve crooked you —’

‘But I’m not!’

‘Yes you are! We can always get the picture back.’

‘What? How?’ said Gabriel.

‘Speedy said I could buy it back from him if I decided to change my mind.’

‘But we’ll never get the money.’

‘We’d have to pay a bit more for it, too. Speedy’s got a good nose for a number of things and profit is the first of them. I’ve still got some of my instruments in a mate’s garage. I’ll sell them. The bike, too.’

‘You need those things.’

‘But why, Gabriel, would we need the picture back? Even if I had the ’Mona Lisa’ in the living room I wouldn’t look at it all the time. The thing is, I don’t know how much more of this I can take.’

‘More of what?’

‘These blows to the heart. Gabriel, I’m losing hope. I need all my resources but I’ve never had less. Can you believe it, you’re all I’ve got! I’ve always liked being with you too much. Why didn’t I achieve anything with my life? I’d rather spend the day hanging out with you than working or hustling. If anyone asked me who my best friend was, I’d say you. Christ Almighty!’

‘Dad, Dad — don’t cry!’

‘Let’s get out of here. I don’t want Speedy to see me blubbing.’

‘Right.’

When they’d finished their food and were about to leave, Speedy came over to the table.

‘I forgot to tell you.’ said Speedy. ‘There’s this kid — the son of a personal friend of mine, the movie producer Jake Ambler. The guy who made Timeless Saturday and all that other great stuff.’

‘We know, we know.’ said Dad, wiping his eyes. ‘Timeless Saturday is one of the greats. The way he edited that middle section and uses music to —’

‘Jake loves the waffles in here. Have you had them? I’m not allowed to trust him with the ice-cream — it’s like cocaine to him. His kid is in a group, they’ve even got the possibility of a record contract and all that, but he can’t play that well. He’s stuck at a certain point. You know what I’m talking about, Rex. Jake and I were gossiping about Lester and your name came up. Jake saw you play a lot of times. I told him, “Rex has been coming in here on business. Rex helped me start up at the beginning.”’

‘You told him that?’

‘Yeah. You said to me, years ago, “You’ll be more successful than any of us.”’

‘That’s right. And you are, man. You’re one of the great … great multimillionaires of our time.’

‘Sweet of you, Rex.’

‘Why is it, d’you think, that almost everyone I know has got more money than me?’

‘Maybe it’s connected to the fact you don’t work, Rex.’ Gabriel tried to stop himself laughing. Speedy went on, ‘Listen, Jake knows, without me telling him, that you’re one of the best. I said you wouldn’t mind going over to his place and showing the kid a few of those chunky rock ‘n’ roll chords —’

‘I don’t know about showing him some chords,’ said Dad. ‘As it is, people don’t use instruments any more. It’s all computers. Besides, I’m pretty busy at the moment.’

‘Wow. What are you doing?’ said Speedy He looked at Gabriel and crinkled his nose. ‘I prefer gossip to food.’

Dad said, ‘There’s this opera about —’

Gabriel squeezed his father’s arm. ‘Dad, listen to him. It’s a stroke. Please carry on, Mr Speedy.’

‘Jake will pay well, there’s no problem with that. The more he pays, the more he’ll appreciate it. Isn’t that always the way?’ Speedy pursed his lips. ‘You’ll be able to upgrade your bike.’

‘Bike?’

‘I’ve seen you on it.’

Dad got up. ‘Jake can blow it out his arse. We’re not so desperate that we’re going to start working for a living.’

‘We are,’ said Gabriel. ‘Aren’t we?’

Dad stumbled towards the door.

‘Dear, oh dear,’ said Speedy. ‘Who’s pissed on his rose bush?’

‘He’s broken up with Mum.’

Speedy nodded. ‘I see.’

Gabriel said, ‘Please, Mr Speedy, what’s the number of this boy who needs the talent lessons?’

‘I’ll give it to you.’ Speedy moved closer to him. ‘But only if you promise something. I want you to come and see me.’

‘Me? What for?’

‘Oh I like a direct boy. Gabriel, we can talk. I know what it’s like.’

‘You know what what’s like?’

‘The turbulence that young guys are prone to.’

‘I see. Thanks.’ Speedy’s pen was poised. Gabriel said, ‘I will come by.’

‘So you should. You know where I am. I can guarantee that it’ll be worth it. Here.’ He wrote down the name and phone number on a piece of paper.

‘Thanks again.’

‘The pleasure is mine,’ Speedy said. ‘You have a very pleasant manner. See you soon.’

Speedy was smiling at him. Gabriel wondered if he’d smile if he knew the true history of ‘Lester’s’ picture. Luckily Gabriel wouldn’t have to see him again.