Galway Confidential

8

Pat was adamant that he wouldn’t go to rehab. I asked,

“Have you had the DTs yet?”

With the defiance of the full-blown alkie, he scoffed,

“You mean do I see pink elephants?”

“You should be so lucky, I’m talking about rabid rats, crawling all over you and the screams you hear are your own.”

That got to him,

“Did that happen to you?”

I told the truth, said,

“More times than I’d admit.”

He asked,

“How long would I be in rehab?”

I didn’t know, he was long along the path, but I lied,

“Tops? A week.”

He had the cunning of the seasoned alkie, tried,

“If I agree, will you give me a drink now?”

I gave him what we call the codding drink, more water than booze, but he seemed to buy it. There was so much drink in his system that even a sip brought it up to nigh full throttle.

A banging on the door.

I muttered,

“Better be bloody important.”

Opened it to Sheila, who barged past me, fury oozing from her. She was taken aback to see I had company. I said,

“What’s bugging you?”

She whirled round, said,

“There’s been a third attack.”

Shocked, I like a fool said,

“Well, it wasn’t me.”

Bad, I know.

She stared at Pat, who was dozing. She asked me,

“Are you housing the homeless?”

Pat did look, well, like a street person. He rallied, snarled,

“I’m a priest.”

I intervened.

“Father Pat, meet ex-nun Sheila Winston.”

Neither spoke so I asked,

“Who was attacked and where, when?”

She gave me the details, and added,

“To make it even more horrific, he laid her on the altar.”

Pat, lost completely, asked,

“Who attacked whom?”

“Some psycho is attacking nuns.”

He managed to get to his feet and, without asking, helped himself to a drink, offered the bottle to Sheila. She pursed her lips, said,

“It’s not even noon yet.”

He shrugged.

“You’re still a nun.”

Sheila gave me the details of the latest attack and I asked,

“In a church?”

Pat intoned,

“You’d be amazed at what happens in churches.”

I said,

“God Almighty, no wonder they suspended your arse.”

Sheila fixed me with a withering look.

“What progress have you made?”

I was going to lay out the inquiries I’d made but went with,

“None.”

She was livid, snarled,

“Spent the money on booze no doubt.”

I was very tired of this assembly of weird clergy in my home.

“I need you all to fuck off out of my apartment.”

Shocked them both if in different ways. Sheila said,

“No need for the foul language.”

Pat whined,

“What about my rehab?”

I did know many folks in the rehab industry, and after a third call, got a result, albeit after promising a donation.

“You need to be ready; they’re sending a van and should be here shortly.”

He asked,

“Will you come with me?”

I lied,

“They don’t allow that.”

He was now frightened.

“What will they do to me?”

I tried for bonhomie, not a tone I had much practice with.

“Two days to dry you out, then a few days to get some nourishment into you, and then you’re good to go.”

Sheila looked highly dubious at this but kept her counsel, perhaps because of the look I shot her.

Pat said,

“Why does nobody get Edge to stop the killings?”

Indeed.

I spoke,

“Apparently, they don’t like to get tangled up in matters ecclesiastical.”

The rehab I’d managed to get him into was bottom of the barrel. The top places insisted on a patient being dry for a week before. As if an alkie getting a week on the dry would then go for counselling. The donation I’d promised was the overriding factor in his being accepted. After lockdown, all charities and such places like rehab were hurting for donations.

Within the hour, there was a knock on the door, and I opened it to two guys in dark tracksuits, they had the grim faces of serious business.

At first, they thought it was me they were bringing, and God knows, no mystery why they thought that. Sheila took control, took Pat by the shoulder, whispering to him, and within minutes, he was gone.

Sold down the whiskey river.

A silence descended on the apartment until Sheila said,

“I will pray for him.”

With bitterness leaking all over my voice, I muttered,

“That is sure to be a massive help.”