Getting back

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Daniel's exhausted dreams were so turbulent that at first Tucker's warning cry seemed to come from the miasma of his nightmare.

In his sleep he was lost on a vast white plain. It was as flat as a piece of paper and crisscrossed with his own tracks. His footprints led off confusingly in all directions and he was uncertain if the whiteness at his feet was sand or snow. There was an ominous rumbling in the distance. Daniel was overwhelmed by a feeling of sad uncertainty, of having made a fatal wrong turn, and the resulting dread was threatening to paralyze him. Before he could decide what to do, however, Tucker's cries became more insistent. Finally they blew the vividness of his dream into the shards of dark reality and he opened his eyes. It was night in Australia, black and confused.

"Get up!" Tucker was roaring. "Get up, get up! It's flooding!"

The big man was dragging something uphill. It was Amaya's tent, Daniel realized, and the woman was yelling inside it. Then the horizon flashed and in the lightning's lurid blast he saw trees shaking wildly and the glint of something wet pouring toward him like a chocolate slurry. It was as if the land had risen and was being shaken toward him in undulating waves.

Flash flood!

Daniel's bedroll had the grace of being zipperless, and he was out of it and scrambling for higher ground in an instant, instinctively dragging his bedding with him. A breaking wave of muddy water was pouring down the dry river bottom to devour their camp. As he surmounted the bank and grasped the trunk of a tree, lightning flashed again and he saw the water strike something angular and carry it off. There was a muffled shout. Ico's tent! In numbed fascination, Daniel watched one of the containers that had been put out to catch some raindrops being swept away in the current.

The wall of water had appeared out of nowhere and now it roared by with a furious gush of rolling stones, pitching logs, and jabbing branches, devouring everything in its path with the noise and clumsy power of a medieval army. The sound was overwhelming and the night had turned pitch black, Daniel's blindness relieved only by strobes of lightning. The flashes were dry- there was not a drop of rain- and yet even as he registered the weirdness of this the storm opened and a cloudburst sluiced down, adding to the din. Daniel felt he'd been clubbed, so heavy was the water. It pushed him to his knees.

"Ico! Daniel!" It was Tucker, shouting from the dark trees farther from the river. Daniel groped in that direction. There was a flash of lightning and he saw the tall man leaning against a tree with rainwater streaming down his face. A stunned, wet Amaya was crawling from her tangled, muddied tent, her eyes wide, and she clutched a moment at Tucker's leg as if to seek reassurance. Daniel stumbled up to them.

"You all right?" They said it simultaneously.

"Ico," Daniel gasped. "I saw the river take him. We have to go hunt downstream."

Amaya stood unsteadily, the rain lashing at them, and then gripped them both with a look of grim determination. "We might need a rope!" she shouted. "I'll get the clothesline we rigged! You two start down and I'll follow!"

"Are you going to be all right?" Daniel shouted back.

"Yes, yes, go on!"

Tucker pulled at him and the two men moved off clumsily in the dark, following the edge of the flood but keeping a wary distance as sections of sandy bank collapsed. The water bucked and pitched, eating at the shore with greedy menace, and both men feared their companion was already gone.

There was a flash and a following crack of thunder so close upon it that they staggered as if an artillery shell had gone off nearby. Sparks flew in the night and there was a crash of something falling in the trees. Daniel wanted desperately to crouch and hide and wait until the storm was over, but forced himself to keep going. He tripped, sprawled, and got up again as Tucker hauled on his arm. "I heard a yell!" the big man shouted.

They felt their way to the river's edge, rain beating on them like hail. Lightning stabbed again and they saw a tree had toppled into the current, something synthetic caught in its branches and fluttering in the current like a flag. Ico's tent! There was another yell and they saw a dark shape in the branches that could be someone's head. "Ico!" Tucker roared. "We see you! Work yourself this way!"

Their companion was obviously trying, but any loosening of his grip threatened to release him into the current. "I'm going after him," Tucker growled. He leaped in, dropping to his waist on the upstream end of his log, and immediately his feet were jerked out from under him and he went under the tree, saving himself only by grabbing the bark and hauling himself back upward on the downstream side. With difficulty, he heaved himself back onto shore, spitting dirty water. "Damn!"

Daniel studied the tree trunk shuddering in the flood, its roots not yet fully pried out of the ground. "I'm lighter!" he shouted above the rain. "I'll climb out to him and you follow. When I get to him, hold my ankles and don't let go!"

The tree was slick and shook more violently the farther he inched out along it, the flood sucking at the wood. In perspective he felt like a bug swirling toward a drain, his face just inches from the water. "Ico!" he screamed into the storm. "Work this way!" An arm flailed as their companion struggled to do so, grasping a new branch and letting go of the old and then being jerked furiously by the current, his body like a rag snapped by the wind. Ico's strength had to be ebbing.

Daniel felt Tucker's huge hands grasp his ankles like a reassuring vise and the clamp was enough to give him the courage to stretch farther toward the third man, as if on a rack. Lightning lit the river and they glimpsed each other's terrified face. Ico reached, touched blindly, grabbed, slipped, and then snared Daniel's wrist with his other hand as he was being pulled away by the current. The fumbling was enough to pull Daniel from the tree as well and they pivoted, Daniel's legs in Tucker's grasp. Then with a frustrated grunt the third man was levered off the tree too and the trio was in the flood waters, swirling downstream in a confused tangle.

They went under, Ico clawing in terror at the other two. Everything seemed stronger than Daniel: Tucker, the frantic Ico, the kick and butt of the river. They struck something hard and it was enough to ricochet them to the surface, sucking in breaths that were half water and half air. They were in a mad pirouette, totally disoriented.

"Tuckerrrr!" Amaya was somewhere on the bank, sprinting ahead of them, and they thrashed in unison toward the sound of her voice. A bolt of lightning illuminated the uncoiling arc of a hurled line. Tucker's arm went up and he caught the rope just as Amaya was taking a desperate turn around a tree. The line tightened and so did the muscles on the big man's arm as he gripped with all his might. Now the river worked in their favor, pivoting them into the bank. They banged against roots, scrabbled, and clung, gasping for breath in the water-filled air. Daniel got an arm around Ico's chest and hauled and finally they were up, their knees on sand. He felt Amaya's small hands trying to drag them and slowly they worked away from the flood's grip. Ico was coughing and cursing.

The men lay as if dead for a moment, the woman crouched over them like shelter from the storm. Only slowly did the group realize that the rain had stopped as suddenly as it had begun. The cloudburst had moved south, the electricity of its fury glinting there. The river was still full, but its roar had become less angry. The crest of the flood had passed them.

"You okay, Washington?" It was Tucker, his chest still heaving as he gasped in deep breaths.

"Hell no." Ico groaned. "I almost drowned." He was soaked and coated with sand, looking as thin and forlorn as a wet cat. "I had to get out of my bag and then out of my tent… damn, I was scared! Where did that water come from?"

"You prayed for it, if I remember correctly," Amaya said.

"Flash flood," Daniel explained. "The desert doesn't absorb water, so a storm upstream sends all the rain down… I should have remembered that. We're lucky we all didn't drown. We were stupid to camp in the riverbed when we saw that storm."

"It came and went so fast," Amaya said.

The stars were popping out again, illuminating the churning water with dim light. "Now we know why the ants don't nest in the riverbed," Tucker said.

By morning the river was gone again, leaving only periodic pools. For breakfast they ate some peanuts Amaya had brought into her tent. The rest of their food had been carried downstream and they'd have to look for it. "At least we have water," Daniel tried to joke.

"Even that will be gone again in a few days, I'll bet," Amaya replied.

Tucker shook his head. "When they said 'adventure,' they weren't kidding."

"They should have warned us about the possibility of floods." Ico was glum. "This isn't right. There's something about this whole thing that's not right. We could have died in our beds. Shouldn't they have warned us?"

"You said that before," Tucker chided. "Notice how hard it is to file a complaint?"

"Oh, I'm going to complain all right. I'm going to raise bloody hell."

"Come on," Daniel argued as much to himself as the others. "This is what we paid for. We're alive, and we're learning. That's the whole point, isn't it?"

"Learning what damn fools we are," Ico said.

They fanned out downstream and began retrieving gear, some of it half buried and much of it dented or torn. It was hot, dispiriting work because so much had been lost. They brought what they salvaged to an assembly point under a red river gum tree on the sandy bank and went through it, hanging food bags out of the reach of ants. Slowly, a meager inventory began to emerge.

"We have three of the four packs," Daniel summarized. Amaya's had not been found. "One tent. Tucker's is lost, and Ico's is in rags, but his sleeping bag is salvageable. We can cut it in two for the men to use as blankets, and use Ico's tent fabric to repair Amaya's. My bedroll was saved too. The best news is our boots."

The others nodded. They'd gotten in the habit of propping them upside down on branches to keep out snakes or insects, and the bushes they'd used had been high enough on the bank to be out of reach of the river. They could still walk.

"But some of the clothes and utensils are gone," Daniel went on. "We'll have to share. And the food…"

"Half was either lost or spoiled," Amaya said gloomily. "We should have hung it up like the shoes. It would keep it from animals as well."

"Next time. We're learning, okay?"

"So what are we going to eat?" Ico asked.

"What we always intended to, the food of the land. We just have to learn how to do it a bit quicker, that's all."

"Daniel, let's face it. We're screwed." It was Tucker. "All that gear…"

"Lightens our load. Look, now we can move lighter and faster. The aborigines didn't need that crap and neither do we. Ico was about to sink into the sand with all that gear."

"No I wasn't."

"We've still got one compass, some matches, a stove." Daniel felt in his pocket and pulled out a small figurine. "And this. Good luck charm."

"What the devil is that?" Ico asked.

"Gordo Firecracker. Righter of wrongs, nemesis of evil."

"And the worst-performing charm I've ever seen. Haven't you heard of St. Christopher?"

"We're alive, aren't we? And light-years ahead of our primitive ancestors still. And all we have to do is walk out. Walk to the coast and go home."

"A thousand miles."

"Maybe. We don't know that. Maybe less. Maybe even farther. But we can do it. We're a bit bruised, a bit wiser, a bit tougher. I hope. This is what the adventure is all about."

"The riskiest thing on earth." Ico was quoting Elliott Coyle. No one needed to reply.

"Well, we lost some canteens," Tucker said. "That's serious, for sure."

"It's time to find some gourds. Some of the aborigines made water bags from kangaroo skin. And maybe we'll travel by night instead of day to conserve how fast we use water."

"And we've got to hunt," Tucker added.

"You and I are going to do that right now. Seriously. We need to learn in a hurry. Amaya and Ico can check out the plants around here. We've got to supplement the pack food we have left, starting immediately."

"Who put you in charge, Dyson?" It was Ico, looking tired.

"The weather."

They spent two days at the site of the flood. Relieved from having to cover distance, they began to notice more details of the country they were in. The desert seemed most alive at dusk and dawn, when day and night shifts of animals converged and the coolness encouraged browsing. The rain had brought an instant riot of new growth, and the nearby grassy plain was blooming with wildflowers that shimmered like a rainbow sea. Amaya found gourds to hold water and urged the others to look for brightly colored fruits that would indicate ripeness. They found wild orange, wild fig, bush tomato, and plum. The fruits were smaller and less sweet than what the adventurers were accustomed to, but edible. They ate them cautiously, nonetheless, so as not to cramp their stomachs.

Hunting success was slow. Twice more Daniel encountered kangaroos in the evening but was no more successful in getting close than before. He had more luck with the Outback's huge lizards, some three and four feet long, which could be found dozing in the sun. With a patient stalk, a sprint, and hard throw, he managed to spear two, clubbing the stunned animals before they could scuttle off. He gutted them with his knife, the blood staining the sand, and then swaggered back to camp, swinging his kill by their tails.

"Well I'll be," Ico greeted. "Dyson killed some dinosaurs."

"It's a start," Daniel said.

"You won't mind if I observe they look about as appetizing as toad shit."

"You won't mind that I don't give you a share."

"Ah." Ico looked at the reptiles more closely. "They do have a certain beauty, I now see."

"Goddamned gorgeous if you're hungry enough."

"Conceded."

They built a fire and sampled the meat.

"A year's salary to eat lizard," Daniel joked, secretly pleased at his success. Great white hunter.

"Ain't bad," Tucker judged. "Like chicken."

"Everything tastes like chicken," Ico reminded.

"Not this, I'll bet." It was Amaya, slyly holding something up.

The men recoiled. "What in the hell is that?"

She was holding up what looked like a white, writhing worm, or a huge naked caterpillar. It was longer and thicker than a man's thumb. "It's a witchetty grub. I read about them. You dig at the base of a witchetty bush where the ground is cracked…"

"A what?"

"Those gray, ugly shrubs. The grubs live in the roots. You crack the root to get at them. I tried it. It's hard work."

Ico laughed. "You've got to be kidding. That's a big bug, right? It's got segments, spots…"

"It's supposed to be rich in protein and vitamins and very filling."

"Filling enough that I'll bet no one ever eats two," Daniel said.

"I'll bet she won't even eat one," Ico said. He reached in his pocket and pulled something out. "Here, I had this on me when the flood hit." He slapped down a wrinkled hundred-dollar note. "This says there's no way anybody is going to eat that."

"The aborigines did."

"I want to see you do it."

She held up its writhing form. "I'll share it with you, Ico."

"I'd rather starve."

"You haven't even been hungry yet." Suddenly she tilted her head back, closed her eyes, and dropped the grub into her mouth, swallowing with an audible gulp without biting.

"Oh my God!" Tucker cried.

Ico was awed. "More astonishing than Ursula Uvula on Sex-Net."

Amaya looked straight ahead, fighting to keep it down. "The trick," she breathed tightly, "is to swallow it head first so it can't crawl back out." She shivered, then smiled. "It's really not too bad. I can't feel it moving." She snatched up the hundred dollars. "I want more when I make an ant ball," she said fiercely.

"It was worth a hundred bucks to see you do that," said Ico. "My God, Amaya, you are some woman. I'll have some fantasies about that one."

She threw some sand at him.

"No, really," he persisted. "That was better than fishing us out of the drink."

The foraging had restored some confidence and they set out east again. The loneliness of Australia was its preeminent characteristic: in the week since they'd arrived they'd seen no other human, encountered no other track, and discovered no road or evidence of past habitation. It was as if they were the last, or first, people on earth. The spangled night sky emphasized their feeling of smallness and Daniel realized what a distorted sense of reality it had been to spend most of his life in enclosed rooms.

Rooms were accomplishment enough to make their human builders feel important and small enough to make their occupants feel big. A room represented not just interior space but boundaries, enclosure, fortification, territory. The desert felt just the opposite. The flatness was so monotonous that there was little feeling of getting anywhere, and the sky so huge that Daniel felt like a microbe under the eye of the sun. Instead of being depressed by this perception, however, he decided to be encouraged by it. If he was not dominating his environment then he was becoming a part of it, woven into its web. It didn't make him smaller, it joined him to something bigger. Since he was made from chemicals first forged in exploding stars, he reasoned, he shouldn't be intimidated by the vastness of the sky but feel at home with it. Sister stars! For the first time in his life he didn't have to get out of his apartment, or workplace, or city, to get somewhere. There was no there, everything was here. He was always- no matter where he slept- home.

"So, are you finding what you were looking for?"

It was Amaya, dropping back to walk beside him.

"In part. I was just thinking I like the immensity of the place. It makes you feel less significant and more so at the same time, and somehow that feels right."

"Really? I'm a little frightened by it. It's bigger than I imagined. That flood, the suddenness of it, scared me."

"You didn't seem very scared. That was quick thinking to get the rope."

"I wasn't thinking, I was reacting. What if you three had drowned?"

He glanced at her. "It would have left the most resourceful of the four."

"No. I would have died, very lonely and very afraid and very quickly. I know that. It's beautiful here but I don't have that feeling of rightness yet. I think women need something more."

"People, I think you said."

"A person." Her look was both challenging and questioning.

Daniel was quiet, trying to decide how he wanted to respond. He liked this woman.

"You said you've found only part of what you're looking for," she finally went on. "What part are you still seeking?"

He took a breath. "A person."

"Oh." She watched him, his face tan, his clothes red from dust. There was a new hardness to him, she realized. Less of the boy and more of the man. Now he was looking straight ahead, avoiding her implied question. "We have that in common, I guess."

He stopped then and turned to her. She stopped too. "I joined Outback Adventure because I met a woman who told me about it," he explained. "I think she might have come here before me. I'm not really looking for her, but I wonder if she's out here somewhere. I wonder how she's doing. It wouldn't be honest not to tell you that."

Amaya nodded, trying not to betray emotion. "I understand."

"I like you, Amaya. You're like her, in a way."

Her smile was pained. "Daniel, that's great. I hope you find her."

"I just didn't want to mislead you or anything." He felt awkward, and suddenly resentful that she'd made him talk about it. He hadn't been thinking about Raven and now he had to.

"I appreciate the honesty."

"I mean she doesn't even like me, as near as I can tell. I just need… to be sure."

"That's fine. I was just curious. I'm sorry."

He squinted at her. "It must be hard for you being the only woman. I hadn't thought much about that."

"You're all behaving yourselves." She looked away. "I wouldn't mind finding your friend, though. Finding another woman. I think it would be less frightening."

"Sometimes I think she's out here, nearby. Like I can feel it."

"That sounds nice."

"No. It's distracting."

They were quiet for a while. Finally he reached out, his fingertips touching her hand. "Amaya, you'll find what you're looking for. Not just yourself, but someone else. I know it."

"I'm sure I will," she said lightly, looking around at the desert to avoid his eyes. "Sometimes the trick is discovering what you've already found."