Goldfish Have No Hiding Place

1

On this hot Sunday afternoon, as I had the house to myself, I decided it would be an opportunity to take a close look at myself, to consider if there was anything I could do to bridge the widening gap between Linda and myself, and to examine my financial position which was far from healthy.

Linda was with the Mitchells. I had begged off, explaining I had work to do. Linda had shrugged, taken her swimsuit and had driven over to the Mitchells’ house with my vague promise I would join them later. I knew she wouldn’t care if I showed up or not.

Because of a defective filter in my pool, this was one of the very rare Sundays when I could be on my own: an opportunity I wasn’t going to miss.

So I sat in the sun and looked at myself. I am thirty-eight years of age, physically fit and blessed with a creative brain. Some three years ago, I had been a successful columnist for the Los Angeles Herald. The work had bored me, but it was a way to earn a decent living, and as I had just married Linda who had extravagant tastes, earning a decent living was important.

One evening, in San Francisco, I attended one of those dreary cocktail parties where the Big-wheels meet and talk business while their wives yak in the background. There was little in it for me, but if I hadn’t shown up I might have missed something and I made a point of never missing anything if I could help it. I was propping up a wall, cuddling a whisky on the rocks, wondering when I could slip away when Henry Chandler came up to me.

Henry Chandler was alleged to be worth two hundred million dollars. His kingdom comprised computers, kitchen equipment and frozen foods. As a sideline, he owned the California Times and a successful Vogue-like glossy, selling fashions to the wealthy. He was the city’s leading Quaker, his money had built the local, vast Quaker church and he was the least liked, most generous do-gooder of the city’s rich citizens.

‘Manson,’ he said, staring at me with his dark, hooded eyes, ‘I have been following your column. I like it. You have talent. Come and see me tomorrow at ten o’clock.’

I went to see him and listened to his offer. He wanted to start a monthly magazine to be called The Voice of the People which would circulate throughout California: its purpose was to criticise and protest.

‘This state,’ he said, ‘is riddled with corruption, dishonesty and crooked politics. I have an organisation that will supply all the information you will need so long as you feed them ideas. I’m offering you the job as editor because I believe you can handle this. I have had you investigated and I am satisfied with the report. You can choose your own staff. It can be small as the production and so on can be handled by my people working on my newspaper. You needn’t worry about expenses. If the magazine flops, you will get two years’ salary, but it won’t flop. I have a brief here which I want you to examine. You will see you will have every support. Your job is to look for trouble. I’ll take care of the libel suits. I have a top-class detective agency to work with you. We are not muck raking. I want you to be quite sure of that. There is no need to muck rake. We attack the administration, we attack police corruption and we go after the bribery and corruption boys. Does this interest you?’

I took his brief away and studied it. This was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to me. I talked it over with Linda and she was as excited as I. She kept saying, ‘Thirty thousand!’ Her lovely face alight. ‘We can at last move out of this godforsaken apartment!’

I had met Linda at a cocktail party thrown by an ambitious politician and had fallen in love with her. As I sat in the sun, I thought back to that moment when I first saw her. She was the most marvellous looking woman I had ever seen: she was blonde, beautiful, with big, marvellous eyes and a body that could only be the exact model of the perfect woman: heavy breasted, slim waist, solid hips and long tapering legs: a sex symbol de luxe. The fact that I was a society columnist and mixed with the best people appealed to her. She told me she thought I was heavenly romantic. She made a tiny living acting as one of the various hostesses who looked after an ambitious politician: mixing with his friends, supplying glamour to his background, filling them with whisky, but, so she assured me, strictly paws off.

We married within a week of our meeting. Our wedding night should have warned me. There was no passion, no nothing. She just gave herself, but I was hopeful to think that I could rouse her if I were patient enough: but I never did. I then discovered that her obsession was money. I was so crazy about her, I let her spend what I hadn’t got. She was always buying things: handbags, clothes, costume jewellery, junk and because I wanted to keep her happy, I let her spend. She grumbled. She hated the small apartment in which we lived. She wanted a car. Why should she have to take a bus when I used the car for business? I loved her. I tried hard to jolly her along. I even showed her figures to prove we just couldn’t afford the things she wanted. She wasn’t interested. ‘You are famous,’ she said. ‘People always talk about you: you must be successful.’

Just when I was really getting worried, this offer from Chandler arrived.

‘I know just where we are going to live!’ Linda told me. ‘Eastlake! It’s marvellous! It has everything! Let’s go tomorrow and pick a house.’

I pointed out to her I hadn’t got the job, hadn’t made up my mind and beside, Eastlake was an expensive estate which could eat a hell of a hole in a thirty thousand dollar income.

This was our first real quarrel. I was startled by her violence. She screamed at me and threw things. I was so shocked, I gave way. As soon as I promised I would take the job and would go with her to look at Eastlake, she came into my arms and apologised for being ‘so naughty.’

So I went to Chandler and told him I would be his editor.

He sat behind his desk, looking like a vast blow-up of what a two hundred million dollar executive had to look like, a big cigar rolling between his thick lips.

‘Fine, Manson, the contract is all ready.’ He paused and regarded me, his hooded eyes probing. ‘Now, one thing: you will be attacking the corrupt and the dishonest. Remember you will be a goldfish in a glass bowl. Be careful: don’t give anyone any chance to hit back at you. Goldfish have no hiding place. Remember that. Take me: I am a Quaker and proud of it. I believe in God. My private life can’t be criticised. No one can point a finger at me and no one must be able to point a finger at you. Do you understand? No drinking when driving: no fooling with women. You are respectably married so keep that way. No debts. No nothing the opposition can pin on you. You step out of turn and every newspaper in this state will come after you. You now have a mission to attack the corrupt and the dishonest and you are going to have a lot of enemies who will crucify you if they can.’

Because I needed his thirty thousand dollars a year, I said I understood, but after signing the contract, after shaking his hand and when I left his opulent office and went down to my car, I had misgivings. I was already in debt: I had a bank overdraft. I had Linda who spent and spent.

But for all that, I stupidly let her talk me into buying a house at Eastlake.

Eastlake is a housing estate built for the upper income bracket people. The comfortable, de luxe houses sold for around $75,000 and they are equipped with fitted carpets, dish washers, air conditioners; you name it it’s there, even to a lawn sprinkler. These houses are built around an artificial lake of some two hundred acres. There is a Club house, riding, tennis, swimming, a golf course (floodlit at night) and a vast de luxe Self-service store that supplies anything from caviar to a pin.

Eastlake was Linda’s idea of paradise. She had a number of friends living there. We just couldn’t live anywhere else, she told me. So I bought a house with a horrifying mortgage that would cost me $10,000 a year in fees, property tax and outgoings.

We moved in and Linda was happy. The furniture took all my savings. I had to admit that the house was marvellous and I was proud to be the owner, but at the back of my mind, I kept thinking of the cost. We had neighbours: young people like ourselves, but I suspected the husbands were better off financially than I was. Every night we either entertained or were entertained. Linda, of course, wanted a car of her own. I bought her an Austin Mini Cooper. She was never satisfied. She wanted way-out gear: her friends were constantly changing their clothes, so why shouldn’t she? She couldn’t cook and hated housework so we had Cissy, a large black woman who came in her beat-up Ford every other day and cost me $20 a visit. My $30,000 a year that had looked so good when I had signed Chandler’s contract shrank to nothing.

But, at least, the magazine was a success. I had been lucky to find two top-class reporters, Wally Mitford and Max Berry, to work with me. Chandler’s detective agency fed me with a stream of information. Chandler lent me his advertising expert who really knew his job. Financially, the magazine had no problems. With Mitford and Berry helping, I lifted the lid off a lot of corruption and consequently made a lot of enemies. This I had to accept. I went after the Administration and the politicians. After the fourth issue, I knew I was a hated man, but I kept strictly to facts and there was nothing anyone I attacked could do about it.

Sitting in the sun, taking stock, I saw how vulnerable I was if some enemy began to probe into my private life. I was burdened with a $3,000 overdraft. I was living beyond my means. I didn’t seem able to control Linda’s spending. If some columnist wanted to be spiteful he could hint that Linda and I were falling out and I knew that would upset Chandler whose married life was blameless.

In the next issue of The Voice of the People, due out at the middle of the month, I was attacking Captain John Schultz, the Chief of Police. I was raising inquiring eyebrows that he was able to run a Cadillac, live in a $100,000 house, send his two sons to the University and his wife wore mink. Chandler had told me to go after Schultz whom he hated. What I had written was the truth, but attacking the Chief of Police was asking for personal trouble. I knew, once the magazine was on the streets, I would have to be very, very careful: no parking offences, no driving even after one drink: every cop in the city would be told to gun for me.

As I sat by the empty swimming pool, I wondered if what I was doing made sense. I hadn’t Chandler’s Quaker mentality. I was in this for the money. It was fine for him: he could take care of any libel action and he was a natural crusader: I wasn’t.

Tomorrow was the first of the month. It would be the day of reckoning when I paid my last month’s bills. I went over to my desk and spent the next two hours listing what Linda and I owed: The amount exceeded the quarterly payment from Chandler by $2,300. I analysed my outgoings. Apart from Linda’s extravagance, the worst inroad was liquor and meat bills. When you entertained ten to fifteen people twice a week, providing them with vast steaks and unlimited liquor, you really ran away with the money, plus Cissy, plus the monthly payments on my car and Linda’s car, plus living expenses and provision for income tax and property tax, I wondered I wasn’t more in the red.

I sat back feeling trapped. I would have to do something, but what? The obvious thing was to sell the house and move into a small apartment in the city, but by now I was regarded as a big success by the people of Eastlake and could I afford to raise the white flag and quit?

The telephone rang. It was Harry Mitchell.

‘Hi! Steve! Are you coming over? Do I put a steak on for you?’

I hesitated, looking at the litter on my desk. What was the point in sitting here, making sums?

‘Sure, Harry, I’ll be right over.’

As I replaced the receiver, I thought tomorrow could bring a solution, — although common sense told me it wouldn’t.

I would have to talk to Linda and this was something I dreaded. I knew she would make a scene. I still vividly remembered our last major quarrel. But she had to be told. We had to cut down expenses. She had to cooperate.

I locked up the house, went to the garage and got in my car. I liked Harry and Pam Mitchell. He earned big money in real estate. I suppose he earned three times what I did. They never had less than thirty people to their Sunday barbeques.

I drove over to his place, telling myself without any hope that tomorrow was another more hopeful day.

Jean Kesey, my secretary, was in my office, arranging my mail as I came in on this Monday morning.

A word about Jean: she was around twenty-six years of age, tall, dark with a good figure, a good face without being pretty and she was one hundred percent efficient. She had come from the Chandler stable, having worked for him as his fourth secretary and he had parted with her reluctantly, telling me he was making me a valuable present and a valuable present she was.

‘Morning, Steve,’ she said, smiling at me. ‘Mr. Chandler wants you. “As soon as he comes in, I want him.” His very words.’

‘Did he say why?’

‘It’s all right. I know by his voice. No trouble.’

I looked at my watch. It was 09.08.

‘Doesn’t he ever sleep?’

She laughed.

‘Not often... he’s waiting.’

So I went down to my car and drove over to the Chandler building.

His secretary, a middle-aged woman with eyes like the points of ice picks waved me to his office door.

‘Mr. Chandler is expecting you, Mr. Manson.’

Chandler was behind his big desk, reading his mail. He looked up as I came in, rested his bulk back in his executive chair and waved me to the visitor’s chair.

‘Steve, you’ve done a swell job. I’ve just read the proofs about Schultz. I think we’ve got this sonofabitch on the hot seat. It’s well done.’

I sat down.

‘I could also be on the hot seat, Mr. Chandler.’

He grinned.

‘Sure... that’s what I want to talk to you about. From now on, you’re going to be a marked man. The cops will be told to hate you. They’re scared of me, but not of you. I’m willing to bet Schultz will resign in a few weeks, but before he goes, he’ll try to hit back at you. I want to take care of this.’ He paused to study me. ‘Have you any personal problems?’

‘Who hasn’t?’ I said. ‘Yes, I have personal problems.’

He nodded.

‘Nothing worse than money?’

‘No.’

‘Sure? Level with me, Steve. You have done a damn fine job with my magazine. I’m on your side.’

‘It’s just money.’

‘That’s what I thought. That lovely wife of yours is running you into debt, isn’t she?’

‘I’m running myself into debt, Mr. Chandler.’

‘That’s right. People these days overspend. They live beyond their means. Their wives compete with the other wives and it costs. Don’t imagine I don’t know the problem although it doesn’t nor ever will happen to me. That article you wrote rates a bonus.’ He flicked a cheque across his desk. ‘Fix your debts, and from now on control your wife. She’s a beauty, but no woman should be allowed to run wild.’

I picked up the cheque. It was for $10,000. ‘Thank you, Mr. Chandler.’

‘This mustn’t happen again. Remember what I said: goldfish have no hiding place and you’re living in a goldfish bowl. I’m bailing you out, giving you a new start, but if you can’t control the situation from now on, you’re not the man for me.’

We looked at each other.

‘I understand.’

I drove to the bank and paid in the cheque. I talked to Ernie Mayhew, my bank manager. This cheque would clear my overdraft, take care of my debts and leave me with a decent credit balance. I left the bank, feeling like a man who has shifted a ton of cement off his back.

Although I had been determined to talk to Linda about our finances, we had stayed so late with the Mitchells, the opportunity didn’t arise. We were both slightly drunk on our return and we flopped into bed. I had tried to make love, but she had moved away, muttering, ‘Oh, for God’s sake... not now.’ So we had drifted off to sleep and she was still sleeping when I got up, made myself coffee and she was still sleeping when I left for the office.

The morning was spent putting the magazine to bed. I decided that because of the attack on the Chief of Police I would increase the printing order by 15,000 copies.

After a desk lunch, I settled down to plan the next issue. While I was planning, the thought that I would have to talk to Linda tonight kept creeping into my mind.

This mustn’t happen again. I’m bailing you out. If you can’t control the situation from now on, you’re not the man for me.

I recognised this as a warning and I knew Chandler always meant what he said. So, tonight, I had to talk straight to Linda and she would have to accept the fact that we could not go on living at our present standards.

The coming battle — and it was going to be a battle — with Linda made creative thinking impossible. I shoved aside my chair, got up and began to move around my big office. I could hear the faint clack of Jean’s typewriter. I also could hear Wally Mitford’s voice as he dictated into a Grundig. I looked at my desk clock. The time was 16.15. I had two hours yet before I could go home and talk to Linda.

I lit a cigarette and moved to the big window that gave me a view of the city. Smog made it necessary for the cars to turn on their headlights. I looked across at the Chandler building. The penthouse, where Chandler worked, was a blaze of lights.

The buzzer sounded. I walked over and flicked down a switch.

‘There is a Mr. Gordy here, Mr. Manson,’ Jean told me.

‘He would like to see you.’

Gordy? The name rang no bell.

‘What does he want?’

There was a pause, then Jean said, her voice sounding a little troubled, ‘He says it is personal and confidential.’

‘Send him in in three minutes.’

This would give me time to put a tape on the recorder, switch on the mike, settle myself behind my desk and light another cigarette.

Jean opened my door and stood aside as a tall, thin man, wearing a well-worn, but neatly pressed suit, came into my office. He was around forty years of age, balding with a broad forehead, tapering down to narrow jaws, a thin nose, deep-set eyes and an almost lipless mouth.

I stood up to shake hands. His hand felt dry and hard.

‘Mr. Gordy?’

‘That’s right. Jesse Gordy.’ He smiled and showed small yellow teeth. ‘You wouldn’t know me, Mr. Manson, but, of course, I know you.’

I waved him to a chair.

‘Please sit down.’

‘Thank you.’ He settled himself in the chair, took out a pack of Camels and lit up. There was something about his movements, his expression, his arrogant, confident ease that began to bother me.

‘Was there something?’ I moved some papers to give him the hint I hadn’t time to waste.

‘I think I have information for you, Mr. Manson that would make an interesting article.’ He again revealed his yellow teeth in a tight smile. ‘I have been reading your magazine: quite first class: quite the thing this city needs.’

‘I’m glad you think so, Mr. Gordy. What is this information?’

‘First, let me introduce myself. I am the manager of the Welcome Self-service store on the Eastlake estate. I don’t believe you come to the store, but your wife shops with us I am happy to say.’ Again the lips lifted, again I saw the small yellow teeth: they began to make me think of a rat. ‘Every lady living at Eastlake shops with us.’

I had a growing feeling that there was something menacing behind this smooth talk and I was careful to look interested, to nod encouragingly and to wait.

‘Mr. Manson, you have created a splendid, vigorous magazine that attacks dishonest people. It is a fine, much needed endeavour,’ Gordy said. ‘I have read all the issues and I look forward to reading the next.’ He leaned forward to tap ash off his cigarette into my glass ashtray. ‘I’m here, Mr. Manson, to offer you information concerning petty theft in my store. It is called petty theft, but over a year, the amount of stealing comes to some $80,000.’

I stared at him.

‘You mean people living on the estate steal $80,000 a year from your store?’

He nodded.

‘That is correct. I don’t know why it is, but people do steal: even well-off people. It is an oddity that, so far, hasn’t been explained. A servant working on the estate will buy ten dollars’ worth of goods and will steal two packs of cigarettes. A wealthy lady will buy a hundred dollars’ worth of goods and yet will steal an expensive bottle of perfume.’

This began to interest me. If what this man was telling me was true I could write an explosive article which Chandler would love.

‘You surprise me, Mr. Gordy,’ I said. ‘You have proof?’

‘Of course.’

‘What proof have you?’

He stubbed out his cigarette and lit another as he smiled at me.

‘In spite of the heavy cost, my directors decided to install camera scanners that cover the whole store. The cameras began to operate two weeks ago. My directors consulted the Chief of Police who expressed his willingness to prosecute on the evidence the film produced, providing the film was convincing.’ He relaxed back in his chair. ‘The film I now have, Mr. Manson, is so convincing, I hesitate to hand it over to Captain Schultz. I felt I should first consult you and a number of husbands whose wives shop in my store.’

I felt a sudden rush of cold blood up my spine.

‘I’m not following you, Mr. Gordy,’ I said and heard my voice was husky. ‘Just what do you mean?’

‘Mr. Manson, please don’t let us waste time. Your time is precious and so is mine.’ He produced from his pocket an envelope and flicked it on to my desk. ‘Look at this. It is a blow-up from a frame of twenty feet of film. I suggest it is enough proof, apart from the film, to tell you that Mrs. Manson has been naughty.’

I picked up the envelope and drew from it a glossy photograph. It showed Linda, looking furtive, putting a bottle of Chanel No. 5 into her handbag.

I sat still, like a stone man, staring at the photograph.

‘Of course she isn’t the only one,’ Gordy said gently. ‘So many ladies of Eastlake do this kind of thing. The film is very revealing. Captain Schultz would have no difficulty in prosecuting. Your nice, beautiful wife, Mr. Manson, could even go to prison.’

Slowly, I put the photograph down on my desk.

Gordy got to his feet.

‘This is, of course, a shock to you,’ he said, showing his yellow teeth. ‘You will need time to think about it and even discuss it with Mrs. Manson. We could arrange this sad affair. Before I give Captain Schultz this revealing cassette of film I could snip out your wife’s participation. I suggest $20,000 and you get the film. It is not a lot of money considering your success. May I suggest you come and see me tomorrow night with cash. I have a small, modest house not so far from your beautiful house. No. 189 Eastlake.’ He leaned forward, staring at me, his eyes like chips of ice, his yellow teeth now revealed in a snarl. ‘Tomorrow night, Mr. Manson... cash please,’ and he walked out of my office while I sat there, staring at Linda’s beautiful face, seeing her doing this mean, mean thing and knowing I would have to save her from prosecution.

But how?

I had always told myself that if ever anyone tried to blackmail me, I would go immediately to the police: the only way of dealing with a situation like that. But my attack on Schultz would make this impossible for me to go to him. He would certainly stamp on Gordy, but he would have no mercy on Linda unless...

Could I withdraw the article? I still had over a week before the printing run. I had a lot of material I could substitute but Chandler had okayed the article. He had given me a bonus of $10,000, clearing my debts, for creating the article. Could I now persuade him that our facts might not stand up and we could get landed with a hell of a libel suit?

There was a tap on my door and Wally Mitford came in.

‘Have you time to look at this draft about the new High school building, Steve?’

I wanted to be alone to think and it was an effort to say, ‘Sure. Sit down.’

Wally took a chair and began spreading papers on my desk. I slid the photo of Linda into my desk drawer and turned off the tape recorder.

Wally was tubby and amiable looking, around forty years of age. He had a receding hairline, eyes almost hidden behind thick-lensed glasses and the jaw of a bulldog. He was the best research reporter I knew and I have met a lot of them.

We discussed the new High School which was being built by a contractor employed by the City Hall. Wally thought the estimate was far too high. He had inquired around and had discovered at least three other contractors who had put in a much lower bid.

‘It’s Hammond,’ he said. ‘He’s getting a big rake off. We could start trouble for him. What do you think?’

‘See what Webber can dig up about him.’

Webber was head of Chandler’s detective agency.

‘Okay.’ Wally made a note. ‘Are you all right, Steve? You look as if you’re sickening for the flu.’

‘Nothing more than a headache.’ I paused, then said, ‘That article about Schultz. Do you think we should run it?’

‘Run it?’ He gaped at me. ‘Are you fooling?’

‘I’ve been thinking about it. It could land us in a lot of trouble. I mean the cops will really turn sour and it could mean personal trouble for us all.’

‘We talked that out when we planned the article, didn’t we?’ Wally grinned. ‘You planned it and I wrote it: so you and I are the boys out on a limb. What have we to worry about? What can the cops do to us? I, like you, behave myself... so what?’ He regarded me. ‘Are you getting cold feet, Steve? Have you a secret past?’ His wide grin did nothing for me. ‘Besides the boss has given us the green light. If there is any trouble he takes care of it and that sonofabitch Schultz has it coming.’

‘Yes. Okay. You talk to Webber and see what you can dig up about Hammond.’

He gave me a thoughtful stare, gathered up his papers and started for the door.

‘Take it easy tonight, Steve. Go to bed early.’

When he had gone, I ran off the tape and put the cassette in my pocket. I put the photograph in my briefcase, then I went into Jean’s office.

‘I’m going home, Jean. I’ve got a chill or something. Wally will be here if anything turns up.’

She looked with concern at me.

‘Have you any Aspros at home?’

‘Sure. I’ll be fine tomorrow,’ and I went out into the corridor. Wally’s office door was open. I looked in.

‘I’m going home, Wally. If there’s trouble, call me.’

‘There won’t be. Have an early night.’

I hesitated, but I had to know.

‘Does Shirley shop at the Welcome stores?’

Shirley was Wally’s nice, practical wife.

‘That den of thieves?’ Wally shook his head. ‘I reckon they are more than fifteen percent ahead of any other store in the district. It’s just for the rich and the snobs. We could do an exposure on them, Steve. We could cut them down to size.’

‘It’s a thought. Well, see you tomorrow,’ and I took the elevator down to the street level. I got in my car, started the motor and stared bleakly through the windshield.

What was I to do? Twenty thousand dollars by tomorrow night or this film would go to Schultz. I could imagine the police arresting Linda. I could imagine the sensation and how the press would love it. Chandler would immediately give me the gate. I thought of all our neighbours: the yak, the head wagging and for the first time since I married Linda, I was thankful we had no children.

But there must be a way out.

I had cleared my overdraft. Would Ernie Mayhew advance the $20,000? That, after brief consideration, I knew was a pipe dream. He might advance me $5,000 if I thought up some reasonable excuse. But how to raise the rest of the money? I thought of Lu Meir who lent money and who I was planning to attack. Max Berry, my other researcher, had already drafted a blueprint. We were going to attack Meir on his 60 % interest loans and Max had details about Meir’s collectors: thugs who beat-up those unfortunates who couldn’t pay this exorbitant interest. Maybe if I killed the article, Meir would lend me the money at reasonable rates, but then I remembered Chandler had already seen Max’s first draft and had approved it.

I shifted the gear stick to drive and headed for home.

Once out of the city and through the smog belt, the evening sun was hot and the air clear. I didn’t expect to find Linda at home and I wasn’t disappointed. The garage doors were open and the Austin Cooper not there. I drove my car into the garage, looked at my watch — the time was just after 18.00 — then unlocked the door from the garage into the house and went to my study. I wound the tape onto my recorder, put the photograph in my desk drawer, then went into Linda’s dressing-room. It took me only a few minutes to find the bottle of Chanel No. 5. I then opened her make-up cabinet and surveyed the bottles and lotions that lined the shelves. Any of these, of course, could have been stolen. There was a large, ornate bottle of Joy perfume. The New Yorker had told me in an ad that this was the most expensive perfume you could give a woman. I closed the cabinet door and went into the kitchen to get ice for a drink I badly needed.

The kitchen was in a mess: our breakfast things stood in the sink, the remains of a Quick-lunch curry chicken cluttered the kitchen table with a used plate, knife and fork. Bread crumbs were scattered on the floor. I remembered that Cissy would arrive tomorrow. I went back to my study, fixed a drink and sat behind my desk. I sat there, trying to think up a solution. I admit to panic. I saw everything I had worked for, my whole future blown sky high because my stupid, beautiful wife had to be greedy. Why couldn’t she have asked me to buy her perfume? How could she have been so utterly irresponsible as to turn thief, knowing if she were caught, what it would mean to both of us?

I forced my mind away from her and thought of Jesse Gordy. I thought back on what he had said, then not sure, I switched on the tape and listened to his voice.

The film I now have, Mr. Manson is so convincing, I hesitate to hand it to Captain Schultz. I felt I should first consult you and a number of other husbands whose wives shop in my store.

So, obviously, Linda wasn’t the only thieving wife. Others of my neighbours were being blackmailed. My mind darted as I thought of the people we knew who lived around us. The Mitchells? The Latimers? The Thiessens? The Gilroys? The Creedens? The list could go on and on: all wealthy men with spoilt wives: much more wealthy than I was, but I doubted if their wives who I knew well were more spoilt than Linda. Could these husbands have received a visit from Gordy? Suppose there had been four other thieving wives? A demand of $20,000 a wife. $80,000 for a visit, a threat and a snippet of film!

I felt a sudden surge of anger and picking up the telephone receiver I called Herman Webber.

The Alert Detective Agency was owned by Henry Chandler and was run by Herman Webber. This man had been a police lieutenant, had resigned because his promotion wasn’t rapid enough and had set up a private inquiry agency. He had been popular with the police and in next to no rime, five top-class police officers had deserted the force and had joined him. Chandler had financed him and had now taken him and his five officers under his wing. Webber had done all the dirty research for The Voice of the People. I didn’t like him: he was tough, hard and tricky to deal with, but he came up with facts and his facts stuck.

His hard, clipped voice came on the line.

‘Webber.’

‘This is Steve, Herman,’ I said. ‘I have a little job that needs taking care of.’

‘Go ahead: you’re being taped.’

That was Webber: efficient and still the cop. He never took any assignment unless he had everything on tape.

‘Jesse Gordy,’ I said. ‘He runs the Welcome Self-service store. I want everything about him: repeat everything about him down to how often he cuts his toenails and fast.’

‘Can do. No problem. I have a file on him that only needs bringing up to date. You’ll have it by noon tomorrow.’

‘Make it ten o’clock.’

He whistled.

‘Like that?’

‘I want it on my desk by ten o’clock,’ and I hung up. I looked at my watch. The time now was 18.20. I looked in my address book, then called Ernie Mayhew’s private number. Martha, Mayhew’s wife, answered.

‘Is Ernie back yet? This is Steve,’ I said.

‘He’s just taking a pee,’ Martha said and laughed. ‘How are you both? It seems ages since we saw each other. When can we get together? How about next Friday? Do come along.’

‘Fine. I’ll talk to Linda. You know how it is, Martha, the man never counts. She could have something on.’

Martha squealed.

‘Well, I hope so, Steve.’

Then Ernie took over.

‘Hi, Steve!’

‘Look, Ernie, an emergency has come up. Linda’s mother has to have an operation. Sorry to talk business at this time but I want to pour oil. Am I okay for $15,000?’

There was a pause.

‘You don’t mean you’re asking...’ Suddenly aware that Martha was listening, he stopped.

‘That’s what I’m asking. You can have the house for security, Ernie.’

Again a long pause.

‘Suppose we discuss this tomorrow, Steve? I’ll make a date for nine-fifteen at my office.’

‘Can you give me some idea if you could or you couldn’t?’

‘We’ll talk about it. I would say the amount isn’t realistic. Anyway, let’s talk. Sorry about Linda’s mother.’

‘Yes.’

‘Let’s get together, huh?’

‘Sure. Okay. Ernie, tomorrow,’ and I hung up.

I heard Linda’s Austin Cooper as she drove into the garage. I flicked on my desk light, finished my drink and waited.

I heard the front door open and slam. She didn’t bother to call out to me, but ran upstairs. I heard her heels thumping over my head as she crossed to the bathroom. There was a pause, then the toilet flushed. I sat there, waiting. The telephone bell rang. Although the receiver was just by my hand I didn’t touch it.

I heard Linda, from our bedroom, take the call. I listened to her yakking.

‘Steve! It’s Frank.’ She had come out on the landing and was calling down. ‘He wants you.’

I picked up the receiver.

‘Hi, Frank!’

‘How’s about coming over in twenty minutes?’ Frank Latimer asked. Listening to his deep baritone voice I wondered if his wife was a thief as mine was. ‘Sally has just bought a box of King size prawns. Jack, Suzy, Merrill and Mabel are coming. How’s about it?’

Linda came into the study.

‘Not tonight, Frank... thanks all the same,’ I said. ‘I’ve got a chill or something. I’m planning an early night.’ I listened to his commiseration, then hung up.

‘Chill?’ Linda was glaring at me. ‘What are you talking about? We haven’t any food in the house! Call him back and tell him you have changed your mind!’

‘It won’t hurt us to starve,’ I said. ‘Sit down. I want to talk to you.’

‘If you don’t want to go, I do!’ She came over to my desk and reached for the telephone receiver as I took from my desk drawer the bottle of Chanel No. 5 and put it directly before her.