Guilty Pleasure

7

She wasn’t going to survive the emotions tearing her apart. As Marty escaped the estate hours after Khalid had left the bed and disappeared into his study, she had to fight back her shame. It wasn’t shame about what they had done. The pleasure had been so intense, so mind-blowing, that there wasn’t a chance in hell that she could feel ashamed about it.

It came from the very fact that for some reason he hadn’t been able to lie beside her, to sleep with her, once the sex act had been completed. The anger that had surged through her once she realized that he had no intention of returning to her had burned through her like wildfire and had sent pain into the very depths of her soul.

The next afternoon she still hadn’t managed to get a handle on that pain and anger.

Khalid had called more than once that afternoon and the messages on her answering machine were becoming colder, and obviously angrier. And she was becoming more nervous. Khalid wasn’t the type of man to whom a woman said no easily. If nothing else, bittersweet regret would linger in her memories for more years than it should.

And he wouldn’t do it through physical intimidation. Oh hell no, Khalid would use his sexuality, his experience, and a woman’s hunger to make damned sure she didn’t escape him until he was ready to let her go. And that terrified her almost as much as the intensity of her emotions did. Her body was in conflict with her mind, and it was craving more of Khalid.

The phone rang again. Turning to stare at the offending instrument, Marty waited until the answering machine clicked on.

“Marty, it’s Shayne.” The amusement in his tone had her frowning. “It seems Khalid’s upset with you, darling. Could you give him a call? I’m afraid he just might lose that legendary control of his soon if you don’t.”

Marty winced. Yes, Khalid’s patience was considered legendary.

“Come on, sweetheart, don’t make this harder on yourself than it has to be,” he finished, just before the recorder clicked off.

Great. Now Shayne. She should have listened to her instincts where he was concerned. He was simply too damned dominating.

She bit at a fingernail as she paced the living room floor, struggling with what she wanted to do versus the anger and fear rising inside her. What the hell had he done to her the night before? Hell, it was just sex. Right? It wasn’t as though he had grown two heads and tried to steal her soul. Well, he hadn’t grown two heads, she thought, with a weary sigh. But the stealing her soul part… she wasn’t too sure about that. Her entire body was too sensitive, as though being away from Khalid was putting her through some sort of withdrawal.

She wanted him again. Her pussy was wet, her breasts sensitive, her arms ached to hold him, her thighs tingled at the memory of the feel of him between them.

She almost scoffed at the idea of an addiction, but God, she just needed him. But she had needed him for years. The feelings raging through her were amplified from those that she had felt before he had taken her in that big bed of his. Before his release had spilled inside her. Before he had cleaned her with painstaking care afterward.

Why hadn’t she believed the rumors that Khalid rarely slept with a lover? That in most cases the members of the club who more often played the role of a third did so because the responsibilites, such as sleeping with their lovers, were the very responsibilities they shunned in a relationship.

She had needed that sense of intimacy, though. She had ached for it with the same strength that she had ached for his touch, his possession. The lack of it now left her struggling with both anger and pride.

The problem was, she had no idea how to do anything about it. The most she had managed to do was perhaps piss him off because she had left before he was ready for her to leave.

And there was no doubt that he was angry. She had refused to answer the phone all morning, but he had still called. Several times. His voice becoming darker and more brooding each time. At least she had some satisfaction from that. Slight though it may be.

The phone rang once again.

“Have you ever been spanked?” Khalid’s tone was dark, brooding. “Because I’m thinking that’s just what you need, baby. Pick up this damned phone, Marty. Now.” She stared at it as though it were a snake, coiled and hissing. The recorder clicked off as a surge of nervous energy began to race through her. If she stayed here, then there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that Khalid would be there soon. She would have to face him eventually, but she had hoped to get a handle on whatever the hell it was she was feeling, and to get over her anger, before dealing with the situation.

If she only knew what to do now. How did you make a man provide the intimacy needed when he clearly seemed against it?

The other part of this intimacy problem was the half-truths he had given her the night before. He had given her just enough to warn her that danger could be coming soon, but not enough to provide a clear picture why.

That complete truth, the intimacy of sharing more with her than simply what he had to, was obviously something he couldn’t give her.

She had chased after him since she was teenager. Now that she had made it into his bed she was learning that there was much more to seduction than she had ever imagined. She was going to have to figure out the rules before she went much further.

Unfortunately, she had the feeling her apartment wasn’t the best place to do so. Khalid owned the damned building. Grabbing her purse and the overnight tote she kept packed, Marty rushed from her apartment to the parking garage.

Her mother was still gone, but her father was home. She wouldn’t have to go into detail; she’d never had to when her emotions were like a cauldron ready to boil over. And when it came to Khalid, she imagined her father could be a font of information, if he wanted to be. Convincing him to give her just a few insights shouldn’t be too hard.

Her father had always understood. He would understand now.

Sliding into her black BMW, Marty started the engine and put the car into drive. Driving through the exit of the garage, she threw a wave at the security guard on duty.

As she drove past she noticed his hand reaching for the phone and rolled her eyes. No doubt he was informing Khalid that she was leaving her apartment. She’d noticed that Khalid had a rather strong habit of keeping tabs on everyone in his life. Not that he had many friends, but those he did have also seemed to revolve in the same sphere of social, personal, and business alliances as he did, which made it easier for him to do so. She had now become someone he felt the need to watch over.

She hadn’t needed a man’s protection since she had left her parents’ home. She didn’t need Khalid’s protection now. What she needed was far more important, something she was afraid she would never possess.

It was more than she had received last night, though. She just had to figure out how to get him to realize he wanted to give it to her. Then she had to figure out exactly how to handle it if he did.

The night before had been a revelation in many ways. From the second Shayne had walked into the Sinclairs’ library, Marty had sensed that her life was changing.

Something she had only been curious about before had bloomed inside her. And in Khalid’s eyes she had seen an affirmation that it was coming.

If she allowed this relationship to progress, then it would be far more than what they had shared the night before.

She felt a jolt of response at the thought of being the lover of two men. It had only been a distant curiosity for so many years, but the knowledge that it would happen if this continued suddenly had her wondering what it would mean to her own sexuality, and to the emotions she could feel torturing her now.

Over the years Marty had managed to get enough information to form a certain image of the club and the men she knew were a part of it.

Men who walked a certain dark edge, who found thrills in various forms of high-adrenaline lifestyles. Whether they were CEOs, leaders of countries, or agents of one of the world’s alphabet agencies, they all shared a common tie: a darkness and a sense of danger that they carried like an invisible shield.

The ring of the cell phone on the seat beside her had her heart racing again. Picking it up, she glanced at the number, fortified her courage, and flipped the phone open to answer it. “Leave me alone for now,” she ordered briskly, praying she sounded more determined than she truly was.

“You picked the perfect time to leave.” Shayne’s chuckle came through the line. “Khalid was on his way to your apartment as you pulled from the garage.”

“That’s what I pretty much figured,” she informed him. “I need some time.”

“You should have thought about that before you shared his bed last night.” Shayne’s tone became firmer. “What the hell is going on, Marty? You’re not some flighty kid. Why the hell are you running from him?”

Because she didn’t know what to say, what to do. Because she wanted to dream of happily ever afters and she was terribly afraid those couldn’t exist in Khalid’s arms. He couldn’t hold her after taking the innocence she had saved for him. He could only give her half truths. What made her think he would ever do more than fuck her?

She should have considered this; she should have thought of it. But she would have sworn he felt more for her than simple lust.

“I need to think,” she finally breathed out roughly. “I’ll call him later.”

Shayne grunted at that. “Does Khalid seem like a man you can dangle on a string, sweetheart? I think you know better.”

Yes, she knew better. And she had a feeling Khalid would reinforce that impression.

“I didn’t ask for your opinion,” she muttered.

“I volunteered it,” he stated, his voice like dark silk. “If I were you, I’d return to the estate.”

She laughed at the order. “Go to hell. Look, I’m certain you’ll be talking to Khalid soon if you’re not still at the estate. Tell him I’ll call him later. I have some things I have to sort out, and I can’t do that in his bed.”

“You may not have a choice,” he growled.

“Yeah. Right.” She laughed into the line as she made her turn and took the road to her parents’ home. “When I no longer have a choice is when you’ll be burying me, Shayne. Now go away. I have things to do that don’t include you.”

“For the moment.” Though low, his tone was intense, commanding.

“Good-bye, Shayne.” Flipping the phone closed, she cut him off as effectively as possible and ignored its strident ring as it lay in the passenger seat.

No man ordered her around, and she was going to be damned if she was going to allow Shayne or Khalid to do so.

She could see this situation deteriorating rapidly, and she knew it was her own fault. She shouldn’t have run. She should have faced this; she should have faced Khalid and demanded what she knew was her due as a lover. Spending the night in his study was not acceptable loverlike behavior as far as she was concerned.

But perhaps it wasn’t just Khalid’s fault. From the moment the intensity of her orgasm had begun to ease, Marty had known she had entered a realm of sensation and emotions that she wasn’t prepared for.

She had been suddenly terrified of a broken heart. In the moments after that final orgasm she had sensed that she had already allowed herself to cross a line. She had invested much more of herself in a man than she had ever intended.

Pulling to a stop at the intersection, she waited for the car in the opposite lane to proceed first, her mind still racing to figure out how to handle her personal life.

She was distracted, and she knew better than to allow herself to do that. Khalid and Shayne had her off balance, but not so off balance that she didn’t see the black car as it raced from its parked position farther up the street or the barrel of the rifle as it was shoved out the back window.

Bullets tore into the front of her vehicle as Marty jerked the wheel to the right, stomped the gas, and started praying as the window shattered. A scream tore from her lips as she ducked, and her foot hit the gas harder.

Another blast blew out the back window, and a second later she heard the scream of tires, horns blowing, and the sound of voices raised high in shock. The vehicle slammed to a hard, shocking stop, throwing her forward into the steering wheel. For a moment the world seemed to tilt on a crazy axis. She could hear sirens in the distance. Her cell phone was ringing again, that crazy “Who Can It Be Now” ringtone echoing in her head as she fought to get her bearings.

She struggled to reach the phone on the passenger seat as she lay across the console, the world still tilting around her.

“Hello?” Her voice was scratchy, weak. It didn’t sound like her, even to her own ears.

“Marty?” Shayne’s voice was instantly concerned. “What’s wrong?”

She tried to push herself upright. “I’ll have to call you back. Someone just tried to blow my head off.” She was going to throw up. “Bye, Shayne.”

She could hear him screaming her name as she flipped the phone closed and took a hard, deep breath. Her stomach was roiling. A sense of vertigo plagued her, as she struggled to sit upright.

She hadn’t hit her head. She hadn’t been shot. The car had slammed into a tree, however.

“Lady, you okay?” a voice asked her from outside the broken window.

Marty forced her eyes open and focused on the officer.

“FBI.” She forced the word past her lips as she tried to get her senses back into line. Pulling the small wallet from the inside of her jacket pocket, she flashed her identification at him and breathed in hard and deep once again.

Okay, she was going to get through this. She wasn’t hurt, just a little shaken.

“Agent Mathews, an ambulance is on its way.” The officer pulled the car door open and knelt beside her.

“Witnesses.” She breathed through her nose to get past the rising nausea. “Plates on that car.”

“My partner’s getting statements on it,” he assured her, rising and backing up as she started to pull herself out of the car. “You should stay put until the ambulance arrives, Agent Mathews,” she was advised. “They’re on their way.”

“I’m fine.” She waved his advice away but accepted his arm as he helped her step from the vehicle. “Did they get away?”

Of course they had gotten away. She couldn’t have been lucky enough that they had actually stuck around to be arrested and interrogated. Hell no.

“Sorry, ma’am.” The officer kept a firm hold on her as she swayed for a second. “You need to be checked out, ma’am.” There was a concerned look on his face. “You’re going to be bruised. Some of that glass got you.”

She shook her head again. “Contact Director Zachary Jennings, FBI, immediately. He’s my godfather.”

The officer snapped into place as Marty gave him her godfather’s name. Instant results produced instant action.

Within twenty minutes there were two detectives on the scene as well as a crime scene van and the personnel required to collect what little evidence could be gathered from the scene.

Pictures of the skid marks, witness statements, the bullets that had ripped into her leather seats.

It also didn’t take long for her godfather to call her father. Within thirty minutes of the detectives’ arrival Marty turned at the sound of screaming tires and watched her father’s Porsche come to a shuddering stop.

Just what she needed, Senator Mathews going ballistic. His temper didn’t explode often, but she had no doubt in her mind that it would be used today.

She wished she had allowed herself to pass out.

“Senator Mathews.” The detectives were quick, she had to give them credit for that as they chose their unwilling spokesperson. “Your daughter’s fine. She’s refused an ambulance, but allowed EMTs to check her out.”

“Get the hell out of my way.” Her father pushed past the frazzled detective, and a second later she found herself enclosed in her father’s embrace as he began trying to lead her back to the car.

That was her dad. He was already trying to rush her back into that parent/child world where he could coddle her and comfort himself.

“Whoa. Whoa.” Pulling herself back wasn’t easy. “Doesn’t work this way.”

He was icily furious. Marty pulled back enough to see the cold, precise rage burning in his gaze now. He had no idea what had happened and, for the moment, he didn’t care. All he cared about was getting her somewhere safe.

“Don’t tell me what works,” her father growled. “I’m getting you the hell out of here,” he told her. “Where’s Khalid and Shayne? Damn those two to hell.”

“Doesn’t matter where they are,” she told him firmly. She had to struggle to assert the independence he was suddenly trying to strip from her. What happened to her supportive father? “I have a job to do.”

She hated it. It was breaking her heart not to stand there and comfort her father, to assure him that she was fine. To be a daughter. But to be a daughter right now would mean letting go of the independence she treasured. He was her father, and she understood his need to protect her. But right now, she didn’t need his protection. She needed to do her job.

Her stride was hesitant, aching, as she moved away from him, only to come to a stop once again as she all but plowed into Khalid’s chest.

She couldn’t fight him. Staring into his intense black eyes, his savagely hewn features, she knew she couldn’t fight him. She stared up at him instead, realizing he must have broken several speed limits to have gotten there so quickly.

As the warmth of him surrounded her, she suddenly had to do what she hadn’t had to with her father. She had to force herself to be strong rather than leaning into his strength, and it was all she could do not to sink into his arms. He had a determination to protect her. Fighting against that would be much harder with Khalid for some reason.

Instead, she stood still as he pulled a handkerchief from inside his pocket and gently dabbed at the cuts on her face.

Staring into his eyes, she felt more connected to him now than she had in his bed last night when she had lost her virginity in his arms.

“You’re bleeding, precious,” he stated calmly, though his black eyes were filled with fury and concern. Concern for her.

“Not badly,” she assured him.

He nodded before glancing at Shayne, who had just jumped from his car and was now headed toward them. “Do as you must. I’ll distract your fathers and give you a chance to do your job. I’ll have my personal physician ready when you’re finished, and then we’ll talk. Agreed?”

She swallowed. “Agreed.”

She was caught. There was no getting out of it, and the sense of relief she felt was almost as frightening as the knowledge that she truly didn’t want to run from him any longer.

“Talking won’t be easy,” she said softly.

“Most things that are worth fighting for are rarely easy, love,” he told her, before pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. “But we’ll muddle through, I’m certain.”

The calm, easy demeanor was at direct odds with the flames of rage burning in his eyes.

“Go.” He released her slowly. “Our time will come soon.”

Hell. She was definitely in trouble now.

Letting her go was perhaps the hardest thing Khalid had ever done in his life. He pocketed the white silk handkerchief that was now stained with her blood and watched with hooded eyes as she and Shayne moved off.

“Bad idea,” Joe snapped behind him. “She’s hurt.”

Khalid turned to him slowly.

“She would know if she was hurt badly,” he told the other man, and prayed he was right. “She is on her feet and making logical decisions. As long as she is doing this, we have no right to interfere.”

There was a long silence behind him then. He could feel the fury pouring off the other man as they watched Marty and Shayne move into the fray of witnesses and police officers that had gathered. Shayne was going to have a hell of a time dealing with Jennings once he arrived as well. Zach Jennings might make use of Shayne when he needed to, but on home turf, where his daughter was concerned, it would be a different story. The CIA wasn’t exactly bosom buddies of Zach’s. He was simply fonder of Shayne than he was of other agencies from that particular branch of covert operations.

“What the hell happened? I thought she left with you last night? Didn’t you stay with her?”

The fury pounded at his back as Joe stepped closer. “I warned you she wasn’t going to be as easy to control as you thought she was. That she would need more attention if you stepped into an affair with her.”

There was nothing inattentive about what Khalid felt for Marty. But there was also fear. More fear than he had ever known in his life. Fear for her life, for her safety.

Still, Khalid nodded slowly. “So you did. It is a situation that will not be repeated. But in all fairness, Senator, I have never stated a desire to control her, nor do I feel the least bit careless toward her. My only desire was to ensure she was never harmed.”

“If I find out your past is behind this attack on her, Khalid, then you won’t enjoy dealing with me,” Joe snarled, now at his side as he voiced Khalid’s own fears.

Khalid turned to the senator, watching him coldly before turning his gaze back to the woman.

“If I learn this happened because of my past, then I will deal with it however I must,” he said. “She’s a woman. My woman. And I promise you, I will protect what is mine this time.” He looked at Joe again. “No matter who she must be protected from.”

He would protect her, whether from his past or from a father who wanted nothing more than to throw a sheltering blanket over her. Her fathers had tried. She had been placed within his sphere, and there danger always existed. Though he had not expected danger to come so soon.

Moving away from the senator, the concerned father who wanted nothing more than his daughter’s protection, Khalid walked over to his sleek black Lexus.

Abdul was waiting, his craggy features creased into a frown as he watched Marty, his hand placed casually in the pocket of the jacket he wore-and on the he carried there.

“Contact Azir,” he ordered. “See if you can find out if Ayid and Aman are involved in this. My contacts had no information this morning, nor do they know of my bastard half brothers’ whereabouts.”

Abdul shook his head. “This is not something he would discuss with me. Your brothers do not discuss their schemes with him. They work around him, below him, but never where he can stop their plans.”

“Then contact the bastards,” he snapped. “Tell them I will come after them, Abdul. I will hunt them, and they will die if she gets so much as another scratch.”

Abdul stared back at him, his expression tormented and filled with fear. “This will only give them greater satisfaction and spur on their efforts,” Abdul warned him. Go to them and you go in weakness. Stand silent and still, and you meet them in strength.”

Khalid’s lips tightened furiously. “I’d rather go hunting.”

Abdul shook his head again before nodding toward Marty. “Seduce your woman. Love her. Use this time to tie her to you, so that once your deceptions are revealed she will not run from you. She is a delicate female, Khalid, and one deserving of your time and your care.” There was a hint of censure in his voice then. “She is also strong. She is a woman of truth and honor, my friend. The day will come that this may be all that holds her to you. Then, when your brothers move, you will meet them in strength, not in weakness. This is my advice to you.”

And it was advice he should heed. Khalid watched as Marty and Shayne worked together. He acknowledged that the other agent was carefully covering her back, on guard, and watching everyone closely.

Shayne was a man of strength; Khalid had chosen him as his third for this reason. He would be there when Marty was in danger. And Khalid would be by her side as the man who held her heart.

Sharing her was something he couldn’t pull back on. The danger that would always surround her would always weigh too heavily on his soul. Should she be harmed or, God forbid, should she be killed, then could he survive the loss?

He couldn’t. He knew this. Sharing her life with another man, one he chose, one who he may not control but was in agreement with, was the only alternative. And thankfully it was an alternative he would be pleased to live with.

“Contact Abram,” he told Abdul. “Let him know the situation as it stands. He should add to his own protection as well.”

Abdul nodded. “They will attempt to destroy Abram, but only after they have destroyed you. Azir protects Abram for now, for Abram is the chosen heir.”

That was what they suspected, it wasn’t what they were certain of.

“Doesn’t matter.” Khalid shook his head. “They’ll do what they can as opportunity presents itself. Abram needs to know what could be happening to protect himself against them. Make sure that he has the information he needs, and we’ll work on our end to ensure our own protection.”

Khalid wasn’t a murderer. He had tried to distance himself from the politics and bloody infighting of his father’s world for most of his life. Khalid had disowned the entire family after the horrors he witnessed ten years ago. And still, it wasn’t enough for the half brothers determined to take over the minor throne their father held.

Watching Marty, he was reminded of that life of so long ago, and what he had lost there. He was reminded how easily someone could be taken from him and of the rage that could consume him. He wouldn’t allow that again. He wouldn’t allow the evil that infected his father’s and his half brothers’ lives to further disease his own.

It was a vow he had made to himself ten years ago, and it was a vow he wouldn’t break now.