Ham On Rye

38

Abe Mortenson was had enough to be around but he was just a fool. You can forgive a fool because he only runs in one direction and doesn't deceive anybody. It's the deceivers who make you feel had. Jimmy Hatcher had straight black hair, fair skin, he wasn't as big as I was but he kept his shoulders back, dressed better than most of us, and he had a way of getting along with anybody he felt like getting along with. His mother was a bar maid and his father had committed suicide. Jimmy had a nice smile, perfect teeth, and the girls liked him even though he didn't have the money the rich guys had. I would always see him talking to some girl. I don't know what he said to them. I didn't know what any of the guys said to any of them. The girls were impossibly out of reach for me and so I pretended that they didn't exist.

But Hatcher was another matter. I knew he wasn't a fairy but he kept hanging around.

"Listen, Jimmy, why do you follow me around? I don't like anything about you."

"Ah, come on. Hank, we're friends."

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

He even got up once in English class and read an essay called

"The Value of Friendship," and while he was reading it he kept glancing at me. It was a stupid essay, soft and standard, but the class applauded when he finished, and I thought, well, that's what people think and what can you do about it? I wrote a counter-essay called, "The Value of No Friendship At All." The teacher didn't let me read it to the class. She gave me a "D."

Jimmy and Baldy and I walked home together from high school each day. (Abe Mortenson lived in the other direction so that saved us from having to walk with him.) One day we were walking along and Jimmy said, "Hey, let's go to my girlfriend's house. I want you to meet her."

"Ah, balls, fuck that," I said.

"No, no," said Jimmy, "she's a nice girl. I want you to meet her. I've finger-fucked her."

I'd seen his girl, Ann Weatherton, she was really beautiful, long brown hair and large brown eyes, quiet, and with a good figure. I'd never spoken to her but I knew she was Jimmy's girl. The rich guys had tried to hit on her but she ignored them. She looked like she was first-rate.

"I've got the key to her house," said Jimmy. "We'll go there and wait for her. She's got a late class."

"Sounds dull to me," I said.

"Ah, come on, Hank," said Baldy. "you're just going to go home and whack-off anyhow."

"That's not always without its own merits," I said.

Jimmy opened the front door with his key and we walked in. A nice clean little house. A small black and white bulldog ran up to Jimmy, wagging its stub tail.

"This is Bones," said Jimmy. "Bones loves me. Watch this!"

Jimmy spit in the palm of his right hand and grabbed Bones' penis and began rubbing it.

"Hey, what the fuck you doing?" asked Baldy.

"They keep Bones on a leash in the yard. He never gets any. He needs release!" Jimmy worked away.

Bones' penis got disgustingly red, a thin, long string of dripping inanity. Bones began making whimpering sounds. Jimmy looked up as he worked away. "Hey, you wanna know what our song is? I mean, Ann's song and my song? It's 'When the Deep Purple Falls Over Sleepy Garden Walls."'

Then Bones was making it. The sperm spurted out and on the carpet. Jimmy stood up and with the sole of his shoe rubbed the come down into the nap of the carpet.

"I'm gonna fuck Ann one of these days. It's getting close. She says she loves me. And I love her too, I love her god-damned cunt."

"You prick," I told Jimmy, "you make me sick."

"I know you don't mean that, Hank," he said. Jimmy walked into the kitchen. "She's got a nice family. She lives here with her father, mother and brother. Her brother knows I am going to fuck her. He's right. But there's nothing he can do about it because I can beat the shit out of him. He's nothing. Hey, watch this!"

Jimmy opened the refrigerator door and pulled out a bottle of milk. At our place we still had an icebox. The Weathertons were obviously a well-off family. Jimmy pulled out his cock and then peeled the cardboard cap off the bottle and put his cock in there.

"Just a little, you know. They'll never taste it but they'll be drinking my piss…"

He pulled his cock out, capped the bottle, shook it, and then placed it hack in the refrigerator.

"Now," he said, "here's some jello. They are going to eat jello for dessert tonight. They are also going to eat…" He took the bowl of jello out and held it and then we heard a key in the front door and the front door opening. Jimmy quickly put the jello back into the refrigerator and closed the door. Then Ann walked in. Into the kitchen.

"Ann," said Jimmy, "I want you to meet my good friends, Hank and Baldy."

"Hi!"

"Hi!"

"Hi!"

"This one's Baldy. The other guy is Hank."

"Hi."

"Hi."

"Hi."

"I've seen you guys around campus."

"Oh yeah," I said, "we're around there. And we've seen you too."

"Yeah," said Baldy.

Jimmy looked at Ann. "You all right, baby?"

"Yes, Jimmy, I've been thinking about you."

She moved toward him and they embraced, then they were kissing. They were standing right in front of us as they were kissing. Jimmy was facing us. We could see his right eye. It winked.

"Well," I said, "we've got to get going."

"Yeah," said Baldy.

We walked out of the kitchen, through the front room and out of there. We walked down the sidewalk toward Baldy's place.

"That guy's really got it made," said Baldy.

"Yeah," I said.