Hard To Love You

1 My fault - Mason -

Shit!

I hear her gasp before I even see her. I know it’s her, I can feel Hailey. I know this looks all kinds of wrong but I was trying to figure out what the fuck Lily was talking about. She cornered me when I went to take a piss, telling me she knew shit that would fuck up a few relationships in my family. I got pissed off and forced her into the alcove in the wall, trying to intimidate her into telling me what she knows.

I didn’t think it could be about Hunter, at least I hoped it wasn’t. He’s learned his lesson, I think. Lily didn’t have shit on me and even if she did it wouldn’t affect me or Hailey. Hailey and I have a strong relationship now. She trusts me. I know everything there is to know about Cooper, so there isn’t anything there. He’s been crawled up Jaylinn’s ass for the last few years. Jackson and Chloe have been inseparable since high school so I’m not even entertaining that shit.

“Mason!” MacKenzie yells as she slides past a stunned Hailey.

As Lily starts to turn around I see what she is about to do. She reaches up and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, smearing lipstick so it looks like we were hooking up. I have to hand it to Lily; she has balls, especially with my sister and Hailey standing right here. The stupid bitch just didn’t realize her mistake - I didn’t have lipstick smeared across my face. People would know she was lying.

“What the fuck, Mase?” MacKenzie seethes. She despises Lily and it’s showing in full force tonight.

One thing I’ve always tried to do is protect my family, and MacKenzie is always a top priority for me as she’s my baby sister. When all hell broke loose a few months back, and she found out about our dad, she refused to talk to any of us. When she finally started getting over the hurt she demanded that we trust her to be able to handle shit. We all agreed, I mean what choice did we really have? If she wants to deal with all the shit in the world then so be it. Now that MacKenzie knew everything, we all started to back off a bit. I backed off from being that overbearing, over-protective, big brother but I would never stop looking out for her. And that’s exactly what I’m doing now. She deserves to have her wedding with no drama.

“It’s not what it looks like.” I look past MacKenzie, to Hailey, who is still standing there frozen, “Hailey, Boo, it’s not. I was telling her to leave me alone. She’s been following me all night.” And that is my first lie. I have to lie about it until I can figure out what the hell Lily apparently has over us.

MacKenzie marches up to Lily and punches her straight in the face. Lily drops to the ground, covering her mouth. My little sister bends down and gets in her face, “That’s what you get for trying to kiss Hunter and messing with my family. It’s well overdue.”

MacKenzie turns to grab Hailey, who is still standing frozen in the doorway, and stomps away towing Hailey behind her.

Lily sits up and wipes the blood that drips from her lip. I look down at her in disgust. “You got what you deserved. You just had to go and make the situation worse didn’t you, Lily?” Shock registers across her face. She’s more stupid than I thought.

I clench and unclench my fist a few times; trying to calm myself down before I go after Hailey to fix this clusterfuck. Let’s just hope she lets me explain.

“I know Cooper slept with Brittany!” Lily screams as I start to walk away.

I freeze mid-step. “What?” I shake my head and turn around. “What the fuck are you talking about? Cooper would never sleep with that crazy bitch.” She has to be lying; there is no way Cooper would ever sleep with Brittany.

“It was spring break a few years ago.” She tries to stand up but stumbles back. She slips her heels off and then tries again to stand.

“Lily, you need to tell me right fucking now what the hell you’re talking about. Spring break? When? Where? And how the hell would you know this?” More importantly, how does she know Brittany?

A few girls walk into the bathroom and give us dirty looks. I’m sure that Lily sitting here with a busted lip doesn’t look good for me. “Slow down will ya? I just got punched in the face.” She tells me as she touches her lip again.

“I don’t have time to waste, especially not for you.” I seethe. My body is humming from the rage coursing through it. “Tell. Me. Now.”

“Alright, damn it. Three years ago you guys all went down to a house where Hunter was staying, apparently. There was some kind of huge party.” Cooper and I have been to a dozen house parties with Hunter. Nothing is registering. “Her cousin, Logan, brought her along.”

“Lily, you’re full of shit. I would have remembered Brittany from back then.” Brittany was one of those girls that you just don’t forget. She’s got long, golden-blonde hair, wide, innocent-looking eyes, and she’s model tall and carries herself well. She looks almost as beautiful as Jaylinn; except for the hair color and big tits. “And what’s in it for you to tell Cooper about this bullshit lie now?”

Lily stares down the hall for a minute; I’m sure trying to come up with a good reason. “I want Hunter.” She says, just above a whisper.

Fuck!

“I want what MacKenzie has.” Her eyes well up with tears.

“Lily, Hunter will never want you.” I want to say more but I don’t want to push it with her. I need more details about Cooper and Brittany.

“I know!” She yells at me. “But if he knows Cooper slept with his step-sister, who he hates, he’s not going to want MacKenzie! How could he ever want to have anything to do with any of you?” She’s hysterical now. She’s has a few screws loose if she thinks this will end things between them. There isn’t anything that could tear them apart now, after all the shit they’ve been dealt their bond has grown so strong.

“Lily,” I try to get her to focus on me.

“Why do you think Brittany went after Dominic, Mason?” She tries to take a deep breath but is having trouble. “Brittany wanted to pay Cooper back for hurting her. She saw her opportunity to do that through MacKenzie.”

There is no point in trying to get any more information out of Lily while she’s so upset. I need to get the hell out of here and figure out what the fuck I’m going to do with this information. If Cooper really did sleep with Brittany then it’s going to crush Jaylinn, even if it did happen years ago. But what’s done is done and the fact that he slept with Hunter and Jaylinn’s step-sister is in the past. It doesn’t mean they won’t be disgusted about it though, and MacKenzie is going to be pissed off that she’s been dragged into this whole mess just because her brother couldn’t keep his dick in his pants.

As I walk down the hallway to find my sister and Hailey, Cooper and Hunter come around the corner with murderous looks on their faces. Cooper and Hunter just stand there and stare me down, waiting for me to explain. The only problem is I can’t explain anything yet. As the three of us stand there, Hunter finally speaks up, “You fucked up, asshole, and you deserve what you have coming.” Hunter and I would normally have fought a couple of rounds now, but he’s changed since MacKenzie and Ryder. He’s wiser.

Ryder. My little baseball player in training. That’s what I want for Hailey and me, but I think I’ve really fucked it up now.

“Where’d they go?” I ask both Hunter and Cooper.

“Tell us what happened, Mason?” Hunter fumes.

“Nothing I can’t handle.” I answer back.

Cooper chimes in, “Does it matter where they went, Asshole?”

I glare, hard, “Of course it matters. Don’t be a dick, Coop. Where’d they go?”

Hunter shoves his hands in his pockets, “They left.”

“No shit, but whose house did they go to?”

Cooper and Hunter exchange a look. I stand up, reaching in my pocket for my keys, but Cooper yanks them from my hands. “You were drinking, Asshole, you’re not driving.”

“Then take me to find her, damn it!” I feel the panic rising. I feel like the longer I wait, the worse it is getting. I can’t let her think anything happened but I can’t ask her to keep another secret either. This time she would not only being keeping this secret from MacKenzie, but also Hunter, Jaylinn and Cooper. The last secret almost ended us. I can’t ask her to do that again.

Hunter nods his head towards his truck. We all get in. I sit in the back and lay down across the seats while Cooper takes shotgun. I royally fucked up, I know it.

We pull into Hunter’s driveway twenty minutes later. I sit up and look at the front door. Big mistake. MacKenzie is standing there with her arms crossed over her chest, shooting daggers at me.

Hunter chuckles. “Good luck man, I’m glad I’m not on the receiving end of that.”

I climb out of the truck and trudge up the walkway, leaping up the two steps to the porch where MacKenzie is standing and meeting her eyes. She thinks by giving me the eyes that she’ll frighten me.

She shoves me hard, “I can’t believe you, Mason. Lily? Of all the people. Really?”

I adjust my hat, “Where is she?”

MacKenzie glances behind her before answering me, “Lily’s at the bar, stupid.”

I roll my eyes at her failed attempted to make look stupid. “Kenzie, stop messing around, I need to talk to Hailey.”

“She’s not here,” she shoots back.

Hailey is there, I can see her reflection in the glass door that MacKenzie reluctantly holds open. “If you don’t move your ass out of the way I’ll move you myself.”

MacKenzie looks surprised. She looks over my shoulder to Cooper and Hunter, I guess waiting for them to come to her defense. I know they won’t though. They wouldn’t have brought me here if that were the case. She huffs and moves out of the way.

I step into the house and catch a glimpse of Hailey’s blonde hair turning down the hallway. I look around the family room; Chloe and Jackson are sitting on the couch, eating popcorn with their feet propped up on the coffee table, enjoying the show I’m sure. Jackson gives a head nod and Chloe half smiles at me. When I walk into the kitchen Hailey is slipping her heels on. Once she is finished she picks up a full shot glass that sits on the kitchen table and downs it. She winces. I’m sure it’s from the burn but I can’t help feeling responsible.

“Boo …” I call, using the nickname that I’ve had for her forever. I wait for her to turn around and look at me but she doesn’t.

I wait another few seconds before taking one more step towards her, her body stiffens. I stop and wait. “Baby …”

“Don’t baby me, Mason.” She says with fury in her voice.

I want to tell her the real reason I was with Lily but I can’t chance anyone else hearing. “It wasn’t what it looked like. Hailey, you have to believe me. Did you see any lipstick on me?”

“No, but I just don’t understand why you’re lying to me about it. You never lie to me.” Her voice cracks. She’s livid. “You tell me everything.”

“I’m not lying now.”

She huffs, “You are. You promised that you would never lie to me, Mason. I trusted you. I trusted you with my heart and you know how God damn hard that is for me to do.”

The knife digs deeper into my heart. I’m fucking up badly by not telling her, but I can’t. “I swear I’m not.”

She takes a deep breath, “Then tell me what happened.”

I take a step towards her, wanting to turn her around so she can look me in the eyes and know I’m not lying. “Don’t come any closer. I mean it. I will cut your balls off and shove them down your throat and I’m not even playing.”

I try not to laugh because now is really not the time, but that’s my feisty Hailey. “Can you turn around then? Please.”

She picks up the bottle of vodka, forgetting about the shot glass and guzzles it for as long as she can before setting it back on the table and turning around to face me. Her eyes are bloodshot, her face is all blotchy and her lips are red from crying, but she’s still beautiful. Her hair is a mess, I’m sure she’s been running her hands through it. I reach forward to tuck a stray strand behind her ear but she flinches and turns her head.

My shoulders sag in defeat, I did this to her. I turn her face so she’s looking at me again. “I didn’t kiss Lily, you know that I didn’t.” I don’t look away and I don’t blink.

She stares back at me, “Then why did you have her in that corner, Mase?”

I close my eyes, praying she trusts me. “I can’t tell you that just yet. Just trust me though, please. I’ve never let you down before, Hailey, and I’m not going to start now.”

She looks intently at me for so long I’m not sure what to think. I don’t look away though. I’m begging her with my eyes to understand.

After what feels like forever, but what’s probably only been minutes, she says, “And I can’t be with you until you tell me. I can’t go around thinking all these crazy thoughts in my head. You know I’ve got issues. I hate that unwanted, unloved feeling and that is exactly how I feel right now. We’ve kept enough secrets and I’m over it, Mase. I’m fucking done.” A lone tear runs down her cheek, I want to reach out and brush it away but I can’t. I’m dumbfounded by her words. We always fight, that’s us. There is no in-between; we’re either hot or cold.

I look her in the eyes one last time before I turn to leave and say the words that I will only ever say to her, “I love you, Hailey, only and always you.” I turn on my heel and leave her there.