Hear the Wind Sing

11

ON

Good evening everybody, how’re you doing out there? I’m feelin’ really excited tonight! Almost good enough to give everybody half of what I’m feeling!

It’s time for NEB’s world-famous Pop Music Requests! From now until 9pm we’ve got a

wonderful two hours lined up for you on this Saturday night, blasting the coolest hot tunes your way! Old favorites, songs that bring back memories, fun songs, songs that make you wanna get up and dance, boring songs, songs that make you wanna puke, anything goes, so hit those phone lines! You know the number. Yeah, make sure you get that number right! You run up your phone bill and upset your neighbors if you misdial, you know. By the way, since we opened up our phone lines at six, all ten lines to our station have been ringing off the hook. Hey, can we get a mic on those ringing phones for a second? Isn’t it amazing? It’s great, just great! Dial

‘til your fingers break! Last week, you guys called us so much our lines blew a fuse, but that won’t happen this week.

Yesterday we had specially-made phone lines installed. Fat as an elephant’s legs. Elephant legs, not giraffe legs, much bigger than those, maybe even a little too big. So don’t worry, just dial like crazy!

Even if our station staff goes crazy, there’s no way you guys can blow that fuse! Isn’t it great? Great! Today was too hot to do anything, but we can still have a good time rockin’! Yeah? That’s what good rock music is made for! Same as pretty girls. Okay, here’s our first song: Brook Benton with Rainy Night in Georgia.

OFF

…man…what’s with this heat? Phew…

…hey, can you turn up the air conditioner?

…hot as hell in here…hey you, cut that out, I’m sweatin’, sweatin’ bullets…

…yeah, that’s how I get…

…hey, I’m thirsty, can someone bring me a Coke? …yeah, good. No, I don’t have to piss! My bladder is like, super-strong…yeah, my bladder…

…thanks, Mi, this is great…yeah, frosty cold…

…hey, there’s no bottle opener…

…don’t be stupid, I can’t use my teeth! …hey, the record’s ending. I got no time, quit screwing around…hey, the bottle opener!

…shit…

ON

This is great, isn’t it? Now this is music. Brook Benton’s Rainy Night in Georgia. Didn’t it make you a little lonely? Anyway, do you know what today’s high temperature was? Thirty-seven degrees Celsius, thirty-seven degrees. Too hot, even for summer. Like an oven out there. At that temperature, it’s lonelier snuggling with your girl than hanging out all alone. Can you believe it? Okay, let’s cut out all the talking and start playin’ some records. Here’s Creedence Clearwater Revival with Who’ll Stop the Rain. Here we go, baby.

OFF

…hey, no, that’s okay, I got it open with the edge of the mic stand…

…man, that’s good…

…nah, I’m good. Just feel like I’ve gotta hiccup. You worry too much, yeah, you too…

…hey, what’s happening with the baseball game? …are they broadcasting it on another station?...

…hey, wait just a second! You’re telling me that in this whole radio station we don’t have a single radio?

That should be a crime…

…nah, I heard it. We should drink a beer to that sometime soon. Ice-cold…

…ah, shit, I can feel one coming on…

…*hiccup*…