Heart of Ice

15

She wasn’t afraid of many things. Bugs hadn’t bothered her when she was a kid and busting crackheads hadn’t bothered her when she was a cop in Miami. But being in a boat on open water-that had always scared the hell out of her.

When Louis called and asked her to come to the island, Joe didn’t tell him she was afraid to get on a ferry.

But she did tell that she wasn’t afraid to see Norm Rafsky.

Not that she hadn’t been shocked when Louis told her Rafsky was on the island. It took half a bottle of wine to sort out her memories of Rafsky and the case they had worked together. She had no romantic feelings for him. But she couldn’t deny she still cared about what had happened to him in the last fifteen years.

Fifteen years. . Did he still hate her?

The grinding engine noise stopped. She stood up, shook out her clenched hands, and picked up her bag. There was no one on the docks. Then she saw Louis at the far end, standing by the gift shop to stay out of the cold wind.

For a moment she couldn’t move. Because she also hadn’t told him the other thing-that after nineteen months of a long-distance relationship capped by an argument last Christmas, she was afraid it might be too late to fix things.

He spotted her and waved.

She started toward him. God, he was holding flowers. Her heart was suddenly hammering, and she had the stupid thought that she should have paid Donnie extra to put a few streaks in her hair. Or bought new underwear or painted her toenails.

Louis put his arms around her. She buried her face in his shoulder and closed her eyes. Finally she pulled back.

“I made it,” she said.

“I was getting worried. You said you were coming in on the three o’clock ferry,” he said.

“I know. I missed it.” Because she had been too chickenshit to get on.

Louis took her face in his hands and kissed her. His hands were like ice. His lips were warm. She realized he was wearing only jeans and a hooded sweatshirt emblazoned with MACKINAC ISLAND.

“You waited out here in the cold for the last hour?” she asked.

“I found something to do.” He held out the flowers. “I wanted to get you roses, but there’s no florist on the island. There are, however, a lot of really nice gardens.”

She laughed and took the flowers. “I’m surprised you didn’t get arrested.”

“I’ve got juice here,” he said, smiling. He picked up her bag. “Just wait until you see the hotel.”

As they started down Main Street, a strange silence took hold.

“Can I ask you something?” she said.

“This sounds serious,” Louis said.

“Rafsky. How is he?”

Louis hesitated. “I don’t know the guy, Joe.”

“You know what I told you about him.”

Louis let a few moments pass before he spoke. “He seems bitter.”

She wanted to ask more but decided to let it go. It didn’t matter; she would see for herself soon enough. There was going to be no way to avoid seeing Rafsky, and if they were ever going to bridge the chasm between them she was going to have to be the one to reach out.

When Louis led her to the porch of the Potawatomi she gave him a wry smile. “The Grand Hotel looks a lot bigger in the photographs,” she said.

“It’s closed,” Louis said. “This is the only place open on the island. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I told you, my coming here is better than your coming to Echo Bay. At least here my officers won’t bother me.”

At the front desk she trailed behind holding the flowers as Louis talked to the clerk. The small lobby had fake wood paneling, a brick fireplace, and royal blue carpeting, with well-worn plaid furniture. But it was spanking clean and reminded her a little of her family’s old house on Rumson Road back in Cleveland Heights.

“Here you go,” Louis said, coming over to her.

She hesitated, then took the key he was holding. From the moment she saw him standing on the dock she had felt the stir of longing. She was sure he felt the same, but she was glad he had made no assumptions.

Upstairs Joe unlocked the door to room seven and turned to take her bag from Louis.

“Where is your room?” she asked.

“Right across the hall.” He glanced over her shoulder. “You have a kitchenette.”

“You don’t?”

“I have a Mr. Coffee, but it doesn’t work.”

She smiled. “You can come over to my place for breakfast.”

He returned the smile. She had forgotten how much she liked seeing him smile. His smiles had come easily when she first met him two years ago, when they were both still in Florida. But then she took the sheriff’s job in Michigan, and things started to change. It wasn’t just the strain of their long-distance relationship. Something inside of him began to change, like a strange moroseness had taken hold of him. He wouldn’t talk about it when she asked. When he called her from Palm Beach last Christmas there was a bitterness in his voice. She knew it was because he hated working as a PI, but it was more than that. He was adrift. And worse, he didn’t seem to care. She told him they needed a break from each other.

Six weeks ago he called. He said he was coming to Michigan to visit Lily and wanted to know if he could come up to Echo Bay. No pressure, he said. I just want to see you again.

The awkward silence was there again, filling the small space between them in the narrow hallway.

“It’s going on five. You want to get something to eat?” Louis asked.

She nodded. “And a glass of wine.”

“Okay, let me just change my shirt.”

She tossed her bag on the bed, set the flowers down, and took off her leather jacket. At the mirror she blew out a breath. Her lipstick was gone, and her hair was a wild mess. She thought about fishing her brush out of her bag but with a dismissive wave at her reflection she turned away.

Louis’s door was open. She went across the hall and stood in his doorway, arms crossed, watching him. It had been four months since she had been with a man. Stephen was a doctor in Petoskey, and the sex had been good and the companionship just what she needed. The affair with Stephen had lasted three months, and there had been no one since.

Louis was standing at the sink, his back to her. His shirt was off, and his back rippled as he reached for the towel.

“You’ve been working out,” she said.

He turned. Again, there was that smile.

“For me?” she asked.

“For Lance Mobley.”

She stared at him.

“I’ve put in for a job with Lee County.”

She came further into the room. “You’re going back in uniform?”

Louis nodded. “Mobley’s in trouble with the EEOC. I just have to go through certification, and I’m in.”

“Detective?” she asked.

“Probably not.”

“You’re okay starting at the bottom again?”

He nodded. “You’re the one who told me I had to want something for myself. I want my badge back.”

From the moment she saw him on the dock she had sensed that something had come alive in him again. Part of it was probably Lily. Some of it was undoubtedly this case here on the island. But she felt certain most of it was because he was going to be a cop again.

She went to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He pulled her closer. All the awkwardness vanished, and the silence filled with sweet expectancy. She reached back and closed the door.