Hero

41 Calvin

I can’t expect Cataline to want to stay crushed in my tightening fingers, but to release her feels wrong. It’s the knowledge that I’m what’s most harmful to her that urges me to stand from her bedside. It’s the horror of her loving me that makes me walk out the door.

Norman stands waiting in the study with his hands folded in front of him. “How did it go?”

I nod once. “It’s time for her to go.”

“You’re making the right decision.”

“Somehow I knew you’d say that.”

“Where will you send her?”

“Does it matter?” I ask. “Anywhere that’s not here. Somewhere neither the Cartel nor I can touch her. Let the office know I won’t be in for a while. Carlos will have my undivided focus from now until Cataline’s left the country.”

“I’ll start getting things in order. I do think it’s best I handle Cataline from here.”

I squint at him and cross my arms over my chest. “I’m not an idiot, Norman. Don’t tell me what’s best.”

“Fine, sir. It’s just that she trusts me.”

My nostrils flare. “Why shouldn’t she? You’ve spent the last three months fussing over her.”

“If you go to her with a plan, she might think it’s another trap.”

“I get it. I understand. If not for me, she might be drugged senseless and shoved into the role of Cartel prostitute. But you’re right. I’m the one who trapped her.”

“You’re exaggerating. They only wanted her to get to you. They have no use for her otherwise.”

“Is that so? Tell me more, Wise One. Let’s say their plan worked, and, using Cataline as bait, they got me where they wanted me. Let’s say they killed me. You think their next step would be to send her on her merry way after all she’d seen?”

“It would take a great deal to kill you, sir.”

“So I should’ve taken that chance is what you’re saying?”

“I think there were options you chose to ignore. But it’s too late now, and we have to deal with the mess. In fact, I should go check in on her.”

“Right, go ahead. Run to her room and feed her chicken soup as you wipe her tears.”

“Don’t get defensive when you’ve put yourself in this position. All I’ve done is treat her like a human being. I warned you to be careful.”

“Just go,” I say, rubbing my temples. “I’ve had enough for one day.”

“I’d say we all have. She needs some time to recover, but then I think it’s best she leaves at once.”

“Good,” I say. “Fine.”

When Norman’s gone, I scrub my hands over my face. Cataline won’t let me be. Cataline wild at the window. Frowning when she lost at eight-ball. Hugging my neck after being mistaken for a prostitute.

She haunts me, and it continues for days.

I’m selfish. I can’t watch her go. Norman has his instructions. When the sun rises on the morning of her departure, I’m already on the road to New Rhone.

My parents decided my fate before I was even born. When they died, that fate was sealed. I’m charged with making the world a better place, with serving justice in their absence. As I leave the mansion, it occurs to me that I’m driving away from the only thing I ever actually wanted for myself.