Hiding Out At The Circle C

Chapter 5

At Cam's softly spoken words, Haley's rag fell to the floor. Dismay came first, then embarrassment, as she stooped down, but Cam gently took her wrist and pulled her up.

With a small smile that didn't quite mask the sorrow in his eyes, he touched the frame. Running a finger over the dusty edge, he remained silent.

Haley watched as with exaggerated care, he returned the picture to the mantel.

"This was taken a little over five years ago," he finally said. "We met in high school-"

"Don't," Haley said quickly, lifting a hand to stop him. "You don't have to."

"I know. I want to." He stared at the photo. "I've not spoken about it except to my family in all his time…" His gaze met hers then. "But I want you to know."

She knew what he was doing. He was going to open up, share himself, in the hope she'd do the same. But she'd done nothing to deserve him or his friendship-nothing but lie. She couldn't possibly feel worse. "Cam."

Taking the rag from her hands, he ran it over the glass in the frame. "Lorraine was gorgeous, smart. Funny. Everything I could have asked for, except one thing." His eyes pierced hers. "She couldn't he honest to save her life."

Haley's mouth opened. Then closed.

"She lied indiscriminately, about anything. Everything. Where she'd been, what she'd done. Strangely enough, not about other men, but about everything else… I know now she couldn't help it. She was sick. But it drove me crazy." He stared at the picture. "By the time I finished college, we'd been on and off so many times I'd lost count, but I wanted her. No matter how many times she hurt me, I wanted her." He sighed, then slipped his hands into his pockets, and she knew his hands were fisted. "She kept lying, and I kept wanting. We had no business getting married, but I… Well, I was stubborn."

He let out a little laugh. "The way I went through women during our off times before our wedding drove Lorraine mad. She came after me one night, I think to skin my hide, but we ended up taking it out in passion instead."

God, she didn't want to hear this, but she couldn't tear herself away. And the pain and regret on Cam's face squeezed her heart.

"She got pregnant." His melancholy smile disappeared and Haley's stomach tightened.

"I worked as a stockbroker then-fourteen, maybe fifteen hours a day." He broke off at her look of surprise and nodded grimly. "Yeah, believe it or not."

Something ached inside Haley at the look of pure torture on his face. She dreaded whatever was coming next. "Cam-"

"I worked hard and long," he said harshly, ignoring her. "No matter what, regardless of what Lorraine wanted. I don't know why, really. I hated the work, but I was driven. And I hated the lies. Always, more lies. But I wanted that baby." He shook his head. "I was working the night she went into labor, and because she'd been paging me nightly for no particular reason except she was lonely, I didn't call back right away. Didn't want to stop working."

He closed his eyes and Haley reached for him, unable to stop herself from offering comfort she knew wouldn't help. She touched his shoulder and he opened his eyes to look at her, his deep, dark brown eyes shiny and full with emotion.

"She died ten minutes after my son did. I wasn't there."

"Oh, Cam," she said softly, "I'm so sorry." The words were hopelessly inadequate. Awkwardly, because she had never become accustomed to giving any part of herself, she stepped closer. He might resent her sympathy, or reject any offer of comfort, but she found she had to try because watching him suffer hurt. So, for the first time in her life, she reached out to another human being by choice and gave what she had.

He went unhesitatingly into her arms, making her understand how actions could soothe more than words. This was what life was really about, she thought, awed. The intermingling of lives, love… death. Her own life had been so sorely lacking in these experiences, so sheltered, she could only hold him, and hope it was enough.

Silently they stood there, locked together, grieving; him for what had been; her, for what never had been.

Max came upon them that way, and his joy at finding two of the people he cared most about in the entire world proved too much. Yipping and jumping at their feet, he peed everywhere.

Haley leaped back, hopelessly flustered and a little embarrassed. The puppy just sat in the puddle, wagging his tail and panting happily.

Cam gave a hoarse little laugh as he studied the wet dog, who didn't look in the least bit humiliated by his faux pas. "The least you could do is pretend to be humbled." And when, amazingly, the puppy did, bowing his little head, Cam bent to rub his neck, murmuring sympathetically, "I've told you, buddy, you can't show your eagerness so quickly. Make them come to you." Cam obligingly hunkered down when Max rolled over to offer his belly for scratching. Then Cam rose, shaking his head at the puddle. "All right, Max. We've put this off long enough because I understood how you felt about such things, but we can't delay this another minute. Bath time."

Max stood, too, looking unusually alert and wary.

"I'll clean this up," Haley said quickly, needing to escape the unfamiliar closeness. She moved to get a mop.

"Don't, I'll get it." Cam lifted his head from the dog long enough to give her a smile, though sadness lingered in his eyes. His voice sounded husky, intimate. "I don't expect you to clean up this kind of stuff."

At a loss for words, Haley picked up the forgotten rag, then stuffed it awkwardly into her bucket of supplies. Cam was still looking at her in a way that made thinking difficult. She moved toward the door, then stopped. He'd given her something new. Closeness. She felt she had to give something back. "Cam?"

"Yes?" Their eyes met, clung.

She felt something pass between them, some sort of silent awareness. "I'm… in trouble." She braced for the barrage of questions she knew was coming.

But he said nothing; just waited, his expression so open and unexpectedly patient, her eyes suddenly stung. "I am-was-in charge of a team of geologists. And I'm on the run."

"From the co-worker you told me about?"

"Yes."

"Are you safe here?

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

Now her vision wavered behind her unshed tears. She'd lied to him, hurt him, and what he cared about most was her safety. Well, she cared about his, too. "I'm sure."

He didn't move, as if he knew she was on the very edge and would fall apart if he so much as took a step toward her. "How come you're telling me now?"

"You- You're not like anyone I've ever met."

His gaze heated and her body reacted similarly.

"Why, Haley, I do believe that was a compliment."

"It was."

"Thanks for listening to me before," he said softly. "I didn't realize how much I needed to talk."

"I'm glad I was here." But she winced at the breathy sound of her voice. She gripped the doorjamb, feeling as though his gaze pinned her to the spot.

"Maybe I could return the favor," he suggested. "You could tell me more. About you."

"Cam-"

He just shook his head at the warning in her voice. "I'm not trying to push, Haley." Grimacing, he shoved a hand through his hair in an unusual show of frustration and said, "Okay, maybe I am. I want to know more."

And after what she'd just found out about him, she could understand why. She certainly understood his edginess at how she refused to be honest. It hurt him, and made her feel ashamed.

"It's the first time in a long time for me," he said. "I want to know everything."

What was he saying? That despite it all, he was still attracted to her? It was hard to believe that he felt anything more than a passing fancy. Or perhaps she didn't want to believe, because the thought was more than a little terrifying.

"Do you understand?" he asked, gingerly holding the wet, squirming puppy. "I want to know more about you. You're a geologist, for God's sake. Tell me more."

"Why?"

"Because I care about you."

Oh, Lord. Her stomach went all fluttery. Had anyone ever said that to her before? "It's only been a couple of days."

"My caring is not a death sentence," Cam said, a little smile playing about his lips. Only his eyes showed the lingering hurt from what he'd told her about his wife. Or had she caused that?

"Letting me get to know you won't hurt all that much."

She laughed nervously. "Don't be too sure."

She'd called her old apartment. The knowledge caused a smile. After searching for her for days-days-waiting for her to make a move, she had.

Now there was proof that Dr. Haley Whitfield was indeed alive.

That little fact would have to be remedied. Soon. As soon as her location was pinpointed.

Sleep was impossible. Haley gave it up at dawn. She showered, dressed and opened her front door to admire the gorgeous fall morning. Dark still prevailed, but to the east she could see the sharp outline of the mountains as the sky above them lightened perceptibly. The trees rustled noisily in the early wind. Somewhere a rooster crowed. Another minute passed. The sky turned purple, then red, then a glorious yellow as the sun appeared over the tops of the peaks.

Taking a deep breath of the crisp, clear air, Haley found herself smiling at the glory of it. How often in her life had she taken time for sunrises? Never.

Wrapping Cam's denim jacket more tightly around her, she started walking toward the big house. The air seemed to vibrate with the sounds of birds and insects, and since the path was heavily lined with fallen leaves, the ground crunched pleasantly beneath her feet. Her breath crystallized in front of her. Soon it would get even colder and snow would come.

Would she still be here? Silly to hope so, but she did. And hard to believe she felt so content with this life after the one she'd left-or was it?

It wasn't until she was nearly to the ranch house that she realized she hadn't once used her ulcer medicine. Yes, she still suffered from insomnia, but the headaches that had plagued her for years had gone, too.

Amazing what a week keeping house in the country will do for stress, she thought wryly. Now, if she could just stop thinking entirely, she'd probably he able to sleep more.

But she'd never been able to turn her brain off. She thought of the journal she'd stayed up all night writing in. A waste of time, she knew, but she'd actually enjoyed the emotional outlet so much, she couldn't bring herself to stop. She'd described Cam's kisses as if she were a love-struck teen.

She felt like one. Haley-the-Virgin had gotten serious weak knees over the cowboy's kisses. Had he been able to tell how inexperienced she was? Oh, well… she hadn't known how to cook, either, and she'd done okay.

A distant drone cut through the quiet morning air. The birds went silent, and so did everything. Haley froze as a plane came into view, making a slow, lazy circle overhead.

They'd found her.

This time, it was real. She'd been found. Knowing what they were capable of, and knowing everyone she cared about lay sleeping in the big house, she took off running.

By the time she'd gotten to the side door, the plane had made another slow sweep of the area and was coming around once again. Chest heaving, Haley threw herself at the back door, yanking it open with fingers that didn't want to work.

She sprinted through the empty kitchen and into the long hallway, giving a passing thought to using the telephone to call for help, but she had to warn everyone first, before it was too late. Cursing the sheer size of the house, she ran through the living room, pausing at the foot of the stairs to drag a breath into her screaming lungs.

Head down, she lunged up the stairs, taking them two at a time. She opened her mouth to shout a warning, but as she lifted her head, the only thing that came out was a squeak.

At the top of the stairs, wearing nothing but white boxer briefs that hugged his muscular flanks, stood Cameron.

"Haley?" He ran a hand over his face, looking rumpled and groggy with the sleep from which she'd obviously woken him. "What's going on?"

She'd skidded to a halt at the sight of him, but the sound of the plane brought her back to reality quickly enough. "The plane," she huffed. "It's coming."

Giving her a strange look, he meandered-so slowly she nearly screamed-over to the floor-to-ceiling window at the end of the upstairs hallway. Tipping his head back, he studied the plane for a long moment, then turned and gave her another strange look. "That's Tex. Our neighbor. He's checking his herd. Does it once a week or so."

Not again.

She hadn't really made a fool of herself again, had she? As the now familiar heat flooded her face, she turned away from his curious gaze, but he merely came forward, took her hand and wordlessly started walking down the hall.

Her resistance was met with more stalwart silence. When she dug in her heels, he merely tugged harder, and when she opened her mouth to protest, he spared her a glance over his shoulder. "Shush, darlin', or you'll wake the house up."

The thought of them all witnessing this spectacle was enough to keep her quiet as he pulled her into his bedroom and shut the door.

Leaning back against it, he studied her. She did the same to him, then wished she hadn't. He stood there, completely unconcerned with the fact that what precious little he wore hid absolutely nothing, only enhanced. And man, oh, man, did it enhance. The man stood there, practically, deliciously, nearly naked. Haley's mouth went dry and she tried to drag her gaze away, but she couldn't.

There was no way she could have known what a magnificent body he had, until now. Tall, lean and incredibly sculpted, he had muscles and contours in all the right places and then some. And this wasn't a gym-made body, either. Nope, she thought dizzily. This body was born of pure physical labor.

Who would have thought?

"You figured you'd been found, didn't you?" Cam crossed his arms over that wonderful, bare chest and lifted a brow.

She chewed her lip, forcing herself to look somewhere, anywhere, else. "Maybe," she mumbled.

When he remained silent and still, she risked a glance at him. And found him looking at her, his eyes swimming with the knowledge that he'd thoroughly flustered her with his near nudity. The man, damn his gorgeous hide, appeared to be enjoying every minute of it.

"Okay, Haley, let's review. First you're a housekeeper without a job. Then you're a housekeeper on the run. Then you're a geologist, still on the run, but from a co-worker who can't find you. What was the latest? Oh, yes. You're in charge of a team of geologists. Now…" He paused and smiled politely, coldly. "Now what's the story?" He dropped his arms and strolled toward her. "Keep in mind, here, I probably won't believe you."

He spoke lightly, but she could see the tension in every line of his body. And after what she'd learned about his dead wife, could she blame him? Guilt swamped her. "I didn't lie yesterday."

"No?" He stroked a finger down her cheek and looked at her with a mixture of angry frustration and reluctant affection that made her swallow hard.

He didn't deserve this. "I am a geologist. And I'm on the run because…"

"Because…?"

"Just because."

Regret filled his gaze. Regret and defeat. "You know what I discovered yesterday? That I'm ready to try again. I wanted to try again with you." He shook his head slowly and dropped his hand to his side. "But I can't do it. I can't survive another relationship based on mistrust and lies, no matter how much I want you."

"I'll…" She swallowed hard. "I'll go pack."

"No." He caught her shoulders. "No. I don't want that. You seem to be safe here. I just wanted you to know how I feel. I wanted you to know how hard it is to walk away from you, but I have to. God, Haley, I have to."

The emotion in his husky voice made her throat clog. "I barely know you," she whispered. "I don't trust easily."

"You know me well enough. What you see is what you get."

Well, what she saw had her knees going weak at the moment. "I need to think. I can't do that around you."

His gaze swept over her body. "That makes two of us."

Her mouth worked, but nothing came out. He was that attracted to her? She wanted to sit down and laugh, but she was afraid it would sound hysterical. She was the nerd, the butt of all the rocket-scientist jokes. And this man had no idea, no idea at all.

He pulled her closer. Though her mind demanded a protest, she flowed smoothly toward him, colliding gently with his warm, hard-and very nearly nude-body. "I… I thought you were going to walk away from me."

"I am. In a minute. I need to kiss you first," he told her huskily. "Because I can't seem to get that last kiss of ours out of my head."

His lips lowered to hers, and she had one final coherent thought as her arms rose up over those wide, sinewy shoulders and around his neck.

The cowboy felt damn good.

As his mouth moved purposefully over hers, igniting an incredible heat, his hands slid up so that his thumbs rested just beneath her breasts. The blood rushed from her head as her body arched against his, hungry for more.

Cam ended the kiss and lifted his face, staring into her eyes. "Now that just gets better and better, if you ask me. Shame to walk away, isn't it?"

Hugging her tightly, he raked his teeth alongside her neck, evoking a set of delicious shudders that his clever hands then soothed away. Mindless, she clung to him, her thoughts drifting from one new sensation to the next.

"Haley?"

His tongue played with her ear, teasing, arousing. She forced her mind to work enough to answer. "Hmm?"

"Tell me who you really are," he whispered, his mouth hot against her skin. "Tell me the truth."

It took a good second for her thoughts to return, but once they settled, she shoved back and stared at him. "That was low."

"What?"

Those guileless, sexy eyes didn't fool her. The mind that lurked behind them was as sharp as hers. "You thought you could seduce me into telling you…"

"Into telling me what?" His intense gaze contrasted with his easy, relaxed manner.

People were dead because of her, she reminded herself. Dead. Someone had used her discovery to make a catastrophic earthquake in South America, just as a test. An entire village had been wiped from the planet. Forever gone-because of her.

Cam might hate what she'd done, but she could tell him. And in doing so, she would risk his life. And Zach's, Nellie's and Jason's, too. Could she do that, just to unburden her mind? "I did tell you the truth. You just didn't believe me."

"Make me believe you." Frustration wasn't even close to what Cam felt. He wanted to shake her, wanted to demand answers, wanted to know what really haunted her, day and night. But most of all, he wanted her warm and pliant in his arms again. And the knowledge he couldn't force her to do any of those things hit hard. He had to do as he'd said. Walk away.

Struggling for calm, he said, "Apparently I've made the right decision."

She took a deep breath, obviously torn. And damn her, but he wanted to know why. "I'm sorry," she said, turning away. "I'll go-"

"No," he said quickly, his heart twisting at the thought. Reaching for her hips, he turned her to face him. "If you left now, Nellie would never forgive me. I meant what I said, Haley. Stay. You're safe here."

She leaned back to look at him, bracing her hands against his chest. He wanted to think it was because she just had to touch him, but knew by her expression that she did it to force his distance.

"I just meant," she said, looking uncertain, "that I should go get breakfast started." She hesitated. "I wasn't lying when I said I was on the run, Cam. I appreciate the place to stay."

Worry had a taste, he discovered. Bitter. She wasn't lying about the terror, no one could be so convincing. "Why won't you let me help?"

"You can't."

"It's dangerous," he stated flatly. Questions raced through his head, and so did that insidious gut-wrenching fear that he was being a fool-again. But he understood pressuring her would do no good. And he wasn't about to start sounding like a nagging husband. No way. Not again. "It's seeing you so stressed that gets to me. It's not right."

"I'm used to stress," she said carefully, removing herself from his arms to cross hers over her chest. "It's this other I'm not so used to."

"'Other'?"

Looking uncomfortable, she pulled back. "This… You know."

He couldn't help it, he laughed. It relieved him to know she was as hopelessly attracted as he was. "No, I don't know. Tell me."

"I'm not used to you, all right?" She glared at him when he tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "You touch me a lot, you know that?"

He touched her some more. "Yeah. I noticed you usually touch me back."

The sound that escaped her was more like a growl than a sigh. Her hands fisted. "You think I don't know that?" Looking confused, she shook her head. "This is all very new for me, Cameron. And I have to be honest, I don't think I like it. Not one little bit."

So they were back to full names. "You know what I think, Haley? I think you like it plenty. It just makes you nervous. Well, that's fine, really it is. I told you we can't do this without honesty, and I meant it. If you want to meander through this thing until you trust me, that suits me just fine. Take your time, darlin', that's just my speed, anyway." He met her disturbed gaze and found himself lost in those heavenly blue eyes. "To be honest, I'm not sure I can walk away."

"Cam-"

"But I have to try. I'm not going to lie to you and say this thing between us isn't pleasant. It is. It's the most pleasant thing that's happened to me in a long time. But I can't do it your way."

"If… if I wanted to do this your way," she said haltingly, her voice so low he had to bend close, "all I'd have to do is tell you about me?"

"Yes."

She looked doubtful. "You mean I'm in charge?"

His smile was more grim than amused. "When it comes to the affairs of the heart, you women rule the world. The power is all yours. Us men just get to sit back and beg for favors."

Her mouth hung open a little in surprise, as if that thought had never occurred to her, and in another time and place he might have laughed.

She clasped her hands tightly together and ducked her head. "I've always considered myself a loner," she said quietly, touchingly shy. "And I can tell you, no one ever begged me for favors."

"No?"

"No."

Her unexpected admission banished some of his frustration. "I would have."

She ignored that. "I don't seem to work too well with others."

"You've worked fine here."

"I mean with others … as in a male-female type of relationship."

"I see," he said slowly, though in truth he didn't. "But there's no one here but us, and we do okay."

"That's because you don't really know me. Believe me, if you did, you wouldn't want to…" She trailed off, obviously embarrassed.

"I wouldn't want to what?" He moved toward her again, reaching for her. "I wouldn't want to be with you? Haley, darlin', I don't mean to doubt your intelligence, here, but that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say."

She laughed, surprising him. So he squeezed her waist gently, until she looked at him. "All you have to do is tell me. Tell me everything."

"I… need to think."

"Okay."

"And I want to work here for a while longer," she said quietly. "It's probably unfair to all of you, but that's what I want to do."

"That's what I want you to do, too."

"You don't hate me?"

Was she serious? "No, Haley, I don't hate you."

"I want to be friends."

"Friends with Nellie, you mean."

"Yes. And Zach and Jason."

"Oh."

"And you," she said.

His eyes narrowed as he realized where this was going. "Friends. You want to be friends with me. Just like with Zach and Jason."

She nodded emphatically. "I don't know how long I'll be here and it'd be nice if we all got along-"

"Friends," he repeated, interrupting her without a qualm. "And you don't know how long you'll be here." He nodded as if he understood perfectly, while his thoughts whirled with confusion. Had he been the only one to be completely bowled over by that last kiss? No, he remembered, she'd been just as affected. To prove it, he still had the fingernail indentations on his arms where she'd gripped on to him for dear life.

"So, one of these days," he said conversationally, "you'll just wake up and decide-it's time to move on. And you'll go. Just like that."

Her eyes locked on his, she nodded. "Just like that."

He stared at her. God, she had his stomach in knots like it hadn't been since… He straightened. He didn't need this. He'd already told her he was walking away. He just needed to do it. Forcing calm, he took a deep breath. "That's fine," he said smoothly, maybe a little stiffly. Purposefully, he moved his hands from her hips to his.

He'd play it her way, for now.

Then her gaze lowered over him and color rose in her cheeks. He looked down, too, and realized he hadn't pulled on any clothes when he'd heard her barreling up the steps earlier.

If she didn't stop staring at his body like that, she was going to get a quick, very hard, surprise. Confident enough not to cringe, and male enough to take pride in her obvious approval, he shrugged and sighed, weathering the moment. "Sorry." He moved toward the adjoining bathroom door.

She made a soft sound, one that, unless he was mistaken, was of muffled yearning. He became instantly aroused. Because she'd annoyed the hell out of him, and because he was suddenly feeling mischievous and a little defiant, he casually turned back toward her, watching her eyes follow the line of his body, down his chest-and stop.

She gasped, and he hid his satisfied smile as he shut the bathroom door in her face.

"Friends-like hell," he told his reflection in the mirror as he flipped on the shower and dropped his shorts. She wanted him. He grinned and soaped up.

Haley waited until she heard the water come on before she sank down on the foot of his bed.

If there was a sexier man alive, she couldn't imagine who.

That night Haley wrote in her journal, putting down the words on a legal pad for lack of anything else. To ease her mind from the South American nightmare, she described how she felt, knowing that Cam had meant what he said-they couldn't have anything together until she was prepared to offer him the truth and make him believe it. Well, that truth could kill him. She'd made the right decision.

She should go. Maybe even back to South America and face the music. No. She'd felt like a robot for too many years to count. The horrible pressure had been killing her slowly. She knew that she'd never forget that jolt of realization when she'd learned what had been done with her discovery. The deep, overwhelming horror of it. She didn't want to ever feel that way again. Being here helped. Being trusted helped.

She concentrated on channeling her fear into righteous anger. And she did what she always did with anger-she worked through it. She wrote, and dreamed, wishing she really did belong in Colorado, on a ranch, with the sexiest man she'd ever met.

It wasn't until sometime near dawn that she got up and read the newspaper she'd brought in from the big house. In the world-events section she got a shock. A huge store of uranium had allegedly been discovered in South America, by none other than Earthquake/Volcano Studies. It was now missing. Stunned, Haley read on. The report claimed that EVS had found this incredible lode during routine digging for a new computerized undersea system, then shortly after this incredible find, EVS's office had been destroyed in a suspicious explosion.

Her system.

Good Lord. No wonder her boss had wanted to keep her system a secret a while longer. Not only could her system be used to predict-and potentially to cause-earthquakes, it could uncover pockets of valuable ore. Haley shuddered as she began to realize the implications. No wonder someone was willing to kill for the system. It would be worth untold millions. And she was the only one who could make it work.

She had turned her pager back on immediately after reading the newspaper report, so Haley wasn't surprised when it went off the next morning. It was from her flat in South America, presumably from Alda.

"Wherever you are, you must get back here. Things have changed. Come to the park where we used to lunch. Noon, one week. Be there, Haley. It's life or death."