House on Fire

42

Seven years ago

When news of General Garrett Moore’s sudden and unexpected early retirement came out, Maggie’s reaction stunned me.

She was livid.

“You gave me your word, Heller!” she yelled. Her eyes were wild. “You promised me you wouldn’t do anything about it.”

For a moment I didn’t know how to respond. “You think I could have this guy walking around with impunity after what he did to you? With power over other people? That was unacceptable.”

“Oh, unacceptable? Nick, this was never about you and what you think is acceptable or not. No, you don’t get to do that. This was my fight, and you wanted to make it yours — and you don’t get to do that.”

I stared in disbelief.

“What happens when people find out? They’ll think you took revenge on him because I had eyes for him. For the general.”

“Well, that’s bullshit.”

“How easy do you think it is for me to continue in my job after this? For you this is just one battle. For me — for any woman in my position — it’s a war. It’s something we deal with day in and day out.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Men always know better,” she said hotly, “right?”

That evening ended our relationship. My apologies did nothing. She was furious at me, and, though it took me a while to get it, I eventually came to understand. It wasn’t my battle to fight. It was hers.

I’ve always taken on other people’s battles, even when I shouldn’t. It’s a lesson I still haven’t really learned.