I Confess

Epilogue

30 July 1983

The Night of the Rape

Helen stood mopping the kitchen floor. There was a loud knock on the back door. She jumped, and looked up to see her mother standing there — her expression a mix of anger and fear. Helen went over and unlocked the door.

‘Why was that locked?’ said her mother. ‘Why are you mopping the floor at this time of night?’

‘I spilled something,’ said Helen.

‘Something terrible’s happened next door,’ said her mother. ‘Where’s Miriam?’

Miriam stood, wide-eyed, at the window of the Maguires’ guest bedroom, looking at the scene unfolding outside.

‘I don’t know what’s going on!’ she said. ‘Jessie Crossan’s gone off in the ambulance with her dad! And your dad’s inside in their house.’

‘I have to get out of here,’ said Johnny, squeezing in beside her, reaching past her to push the window open.

‘Are you mad?’ said Miriam. ‘Your dad’s right outside! He’s talking to Edward Kerr. They look shook.’

Dr Weston leaned in to Edward. ‘Never.’ He shook his head. ‘In all my years...’ He let out a breath. ‘It’s a miracle she’s alive.’ He raised his head. ‘And he’s not long gone, by my reckoning.’ He paused. ‘Look — between ourselves, there was a docket on the floor of the bedroom... it’s from one of Vin Brogan’s boats.’

Edward’s eyes widened. Dr Weston nodded.

‘What did you do with it?’ said Edward.

Dr Weston patted his brown leather bag. ‘You might want to have a word with Vin — I don’t know what crew he’s got on at the moment. But there’s no way a man who’s done what he’s done to that child... there’s no way he could have gone near town to get back on that boat... if it is one of the crew.’ He pointed to his left. ‘And he won’t have gone that way — it’s blocked off for whatever’s going on in the morning. So unless the man’s hiding away in a house somewhere, he’s gone west.’

Edward nodded, then walked down the path, got into his car, and started the engine. He did a U-turn and drove down to the end of the back road, the last bend taking him down the short narrow lane on to Main Street.

The sound of the band and the cheering crowd on the square drifted through the open window, the pulse of the bass throbbing beneath it. He took the right-hand turn that curved around the playground and drove to the outskirts of town and up to the Brogans’ house. When he got to the top of their steep driveway, he glanced up and saw a light glowing in the front bedroom.

Clare, Edie, and Laura were sitting on the floor at the foot of Clare’s bed, playing the Game of Life, surrounded by sweets, and crisps, and drinks.

‘It’s my go,’ said Clare.

‘Oh,’ said Edie. ‘Sorry.’ She handed her the dice.

Clare rolled them. ‘Six and six!’

There was the sound of a horn beeping outside. Clare jumped up and went to the window.

‘Oh, no! It’s your dad,’ she said, turning to Edie.

‘What?’ said Edie. ‘No! I hope I don’t have to go home.’ She got up and went to the window. ‘What if he found we didn’t invite Jessie. That would make him so cross.’

Clare levelled her with a look. ‘It’s my house. So, it’s not your fault. And why would he care?’

‘He doesn’t like people being excluded,’ said Edie. ‘He has this thing about it.’

‘And we all know,’ said Clare, ‘if Jessie was here, we’d all be lined up on the bed having to watch her do all her “routines”.’

Edie glanced over at Laura. Laura was looking at Clare.

‘She would!’ said Clare when they didn’t respond. ‘She’s obsessed.’

‘And why didn’t you invite Helen?’ said Edie.

‘I wanted Helen to come,’ said Clare, pointing towards Laura.

‘Because Miriam needed the babysitting money,’ said Laura. ‘She heard us going on about tonight, and she came in after and said she’d beat the head off me if I ruined Regatta Saturday for her.’

‘Would she not want to be out tonight?’ said Edie.

‘She says she’s broke,’ said Laura.

Clare gave them a patient look. ‘She’s obviously got some fella coming over to the house.’

Laura shot out a laugh. ‘God help him.’

Edie was back looking out the window. She turned to Clare. ‘Oh! Your dad’s heading off in the car with my dad.’

‘“And that was the Eleven O’Clock News with Edie Kerr”,’ said Clare.

Vin Brogan sat in the passenger seat of Edward’s car. They left the lights of town behind them as they drove the dark and winding road west. As they approached the convent, they saw headlights on the opposite side of the road.

‘Who’s that?’ said Vin. ‘Slow down, slow down.’

Edward slowed, squinting through the windscreen at a man running down the hill from a parked van. ‘It’s Jerry Murphy.’

They drove up towards him, pulled in, and flashed the lights. Jerry changed course and came up alongside them.

‘Jerry,’ said Edward. ‘Have you been out long?’

‘That dog,’ said Jerry, pointing back. ‘I swear to God—’

‘Have you seen anything, anyone unusual out this way?’ said Edward.

Jerry lowered his head and leaned in the window. ‘Vin! I’ve got that letter in the van for you.’ He glanced at Edward. ‘Jesus — you’re looking fierce serious, the pair of you.’

‘Jessie Crossan’s been found — destroyed altogether,’ said Vin. ‘Raped in her bed. She’s on her way to Bantry in the ambulance—’

‘Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,’ said Jerry, blessing himself. ‘Liam and I were out in the van looking for the dog. Liam said he spotted him shooting out after a fella on a bike, heading up the side road to the convent.’

‘Hop in,’ said Vin. ‘Will Liam be all right on his own in the van?’

‘He will, of course,’ said Jerry.

Edward drove past the van and did a U-turn, pulling up next to it it.

‘Liam!’ said Jerry.

Murph climbed over to the driver’s side, and leaned out. ‘How’s it goin’, lads?’

‘Liam,’ said Jerry, his elbow out the window, ‘open the glove box, there, and hand me out that letter for Vin. Good man. Now, will you be all right here for a minute? I’ll go on away up for Rosco with the lads, and I’ll be back to you.’

‘Sure, I’ll come with you!’ said Murph.

‘You’re fine out,’ said Jerry. ‘We’ll be two ticks.’

He slapped his hand against the side of the car and Edward drove on, taking the next right. Vin held up his hand, and Jerry passed him the letter.

‘Knock the lights off,’ said Vin, turning to Edward.

They drove in darkness along the narrow road, parked and got out of the car. They heard a faint bark coming from the convent grounds.

Jerry rolled his eyes. ‘If I’m gone for any length, this is where he thinks I’ve gone.’ He took out a key, and opened the chapel gate. They walked through, and closed it behind them, staying close to the wall. As they moved towards the outbuildings, Rosco bounded around the side of one of them, and stood at the corner barking.

‘Look!’ said Vin. There was a bike lying on the grass, the spin of the back wheel slowing to a stop.

‘What’s that building?’ said Edward.

‘The laundry room,’ said Jerry. They jogged down towards it, Jerry shooing Rosco back around the corner. They heard the raised voice of a woman as they reached the door. Jerry mouthed ‘Consolata’ at the others.

They crept closer. They exchanged glances when they heard a man praying.

‘I confess to Almighty God and to you, my brothers and sisters—’

‘That’s him, the prick!’ said Vin, darting forward, yanking the door open.

Daniel Lynch was on his knees, his hands joined together in prayer. He looked up, wide-eyed, at Vin, then at Edward and Jerry, behind him.

Vin glared at Sister Consolata. ‘Is that what you think, you auld bitch? That he can pray it away?’

Sister Consolata stared at him, defiant, her back straight, her mouth in its tight line. Vin grabbed Daniel’s arm and pulled him to his feet. Then he grabbed him by the neck, and held up his fist to him.

‘Vin!’ said Jerry. ‘Vin! Take it easy, take it easy.’

Daniel, his eyes wide with panic, struggled against Vin’s grip. Edward moved in, grabbing his other arm, and they dragged him past Jerry out on to the grass. Jerry stood, frozen, in the doorway, his eyes wide.

Vin grabbed Daniel by the neck again, and punched him, splitting the skin over his eye, sending him down on his knees, blood pouring across his face. Vin staggered backwards.

‘Lads!’ said Jerry from the doorway. ‘Lads.’

Edward moved in then, pulling Daniel half off his knees, sending a powerful blow down on his jaw.

‘For the love of God,’ said Jerry, wincing, turning away, finding his gaze drawn to the floor of the laundry room where Sister Consolata was on her hands and knees reaching out for a small pair of bloodstained underpants. She froze, her hands on them, her eyes locked on Jerry’s. His mouth opened, but no words came out. Then his hand flew back to the door frame and he grabbed it as he turned, using it to throw himself outside, ploughing through the space between Vin and Edward to where Daniel lay, curled in a ball, sobbing.

‘You savage,’ said Jerry, kicking Daniel hard in the ribs, kicking him again. ‘Animal’s too good for you.’

He kept kicking until he was pulled away. And every time one of the men fell back, another stepped in to take his place until they had kicked and beaten the last breath out of Daniel Lynch.

They stood over him, sweating, heaving for breath, spattered with blood.

Sister Consolata stood at Daniel’s feet. Vin turned to her, running his hand over the top of his head, settling the thin loose strands of hair. ‘Do you think you’re God, Sister — is that it? Do you think your prayers can make men out of monsters? Do you think you can work miracles? Do you think you’re some kind of saint?’

Sister Consolata stared at him, her eyes flaring — a gleaming black in the void.

‘Telling me what a great fella Daniel Lynch is!’ said Vin. ‘How well he’d done since you brought him down here, how you could vouch for him and oh, sure, wouldn’t he be a great asset for my boat? And me having to drag him away Friday night from standing around the pier, seeing what little girl’s parents didn’t have a close enough eye on her. And you knew! You were warned, weren’t you?’ He pointed at Jerry. ‘Jerry found the letter you were sent. He found your letter, and he trying to gather up the history of the place and do it justice.’ He paused. ‘But you?’ he said. ‘Oh, no. Not a screed of justice in the world if it’s not yourself doling it out. Sure, why would you pay any notice to a letter when you’re God Almighty?’

He turned to Edward. He was staring, pale-faced, at Daniel’s lifeless body on the grass. Vin reached into his back pocket, and pulled out the envelope. He handed it to him. ‘Read this and it might make you feel better.’

Edward opened it and read.

Vin turned to Sister Consolata. ‘At least we can all benefit from your blind eye now.’

They fell into silence. It was broken by the sound of barking. They turned to see Murph running away from them, and Rosco scampering across the grass towards him and bounding into his arms.

Murph kept running and never looked back.