I Hear the Sirens in the Street

32: IN THE WORLD OF LIGHT

Silence. The silence of mice in graves. The silence of non-being. Nothingness singing to itself.

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Time passing.

Ash.

Death’s hand. Warmer than I was expecting. Welcoming.

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Rain on my face. Starlight. Pain naming me into consciousness.

A sleepwalker getting to his feet.

Me.

Comparatively unscathed.

Two arms. Two legs.

A ringing in my ears.

Lucky.

Lucky Sean Duffy, that’s what you should call me.

The house?

There is no house.

The house is levelled.

“Emma! Emma!”

I see her.

It must have been from a heavy stone in the wall.

It would have been instantaneous.

I kiss her shattered face. Her blood on my lips.

I walk away from the debris.

The Land Rovers are coming to me across the valley.

The sirens so close now.

A melody.

Glissando-like runs from two pianos, the first playing that Chopinesque descending ten-on-one ostinato while the second playing the more conservative six-on-one.

And there’s Harry, spreadeagled in the yard. An arm missing. Severed by one of the Bentley’s side panels.

I bend down next to him.

“What were you thinking, McAlpine?” I say.

He gives a little laugh. “I wasn’t thinking. I forgot about the oil tank for the central heating.”

“Emma’s dead,” I said.

“Why didn’t you send her out, Duffy, you fuck?”

“She wouldn’t go.”

“You should have forced her.”

“Tell me all of it, Harry. You killed your brother and called in an old IRA code word.”

“You know that.”

“You shot three times into Dougherty’s garage door after you killed him. You were setting her up, weren’t you, in case we didn’t buy the IRA story?”

He laughs. “God, you peelers! You overthink everything. I missed. I bloody missed, that’s all. I’d never fired a handgun before.”

“Oh.”

“Have you a cigarette, Duffy?”

I kneel down next to him.

“All this, Harry, all this for what?” I ask him.

He winks at me, grins.

“Millions mate, millions and millions,” he says.

I could save him, I know that. A tourniquet. The rubber seal from the Bentley’s door. He’d have a fighting chance.

I get to my feet and walk towards the flashing lights.