I'm Thinking of Ending Things

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— He’d been working at the school for more than thirty years. No previous incidents. Nothing in his file.

— Nothing? That’s unusual, too. More than thirty years at one job. At one school.

— Lived out in an old place. I think it was originally his parents’ farmhouse. They both died a long time ago, so I’m told. Everyone I talk to says he was quite gentle. He just didn’t seem to know how to talk to people. Couldn’t relate to them. Or didn’t try. I don’t think he was interested in socializing. He took lots of his breaks out in his truck. He’d just go sit in his pickup at the back of the school. That was his break.

— And what was it about his hearing?

— He had cochlear implants. His hearing had become pretty bad. He had allergies to certain foods, milk and dairy. He had a delicate constitution. He didn’t like to go down to the school’s boiler room in the basement. He’d always ask someone else to go if there was work to be done down there.

— Strange.

— And all those notebooks and diaries and books. Always his nose in a book. I remember seeing him in one of the science labs, after school had ended, and he was standing there, looking at nothing. I watched him for a bit and then went into the classroom. He didn’t notice me. He wasn’t cleaning as he should have been. He had no reason to be in there, so I very gently asked what he was doing. There was a moment before he replied, and then he turned, calmly put a finger to his mouth, and “shhh-ed” me. I couldn’t believe it.

— Very strange.

— And before I could say anything else, he said, “I don’t even want to hear the clock.” Then he just walked by me and left. I’d forgotten about it until all this happened.

— If he was so smart, you wonder, why was he pushing a mop for so long? Why didn’t he do something else?

— You have to interact with coworkers in most jobs. You can’t just sit in your truck.

— Still, a school custodian? That’s what I don’t understand. If he wanted to be alone, why did he work at a job where he was surrounded by people? Wouldn’t that be a kind of self-torture?

— Yeah, come to think of it, I guess it probably would.