I’m Watching You

Chapter Fourteen

Sunday, February 22,

5:30 p.m.

Sunday dinner at the Reagans’ was like being in the middle of a Kansas twister. Two televisions competed for mastery, a set in the living room tuned to some sport that had all the men present groaning in disgust. The second set was located in Mrs. Reagan’s kitchen and was tuned to QVC where their stock of pearl strands was almost gone. Mrs. Reagan herself bustled around the kitchen, mashing potatoes and checking her ham. Every peek into the oven sent a whiff of incredible aroma through the kitchen and Kristen’s stomach growled.

„It smells so good,“ Kristen said, sitting next to Rachel at the kitchen table where Rachel had laid a set of books and a small tape recorder in a semicircle.

„Mom is the best cook. All my friends think so.“ She flipped her notebook to a blank sheet. „Thanks for doing this interview with me. My mom says I shouldn’t be bothering you. What with all the goings-on and everything.“

„It’s okay. I was going crazy sitting all by myself in my house anyway.“ A loud roar erupted from the living room. „I thought football season was over.“

Rachel leaned back in her chair far enough to see around the corner into the living room. „It is. Right now they have a hockey game and a college basketball game going. Sean bought Dad one of those picture-in-a-picture TVs last Christmas.“ Her lips quirked up in adolescent amusement. „Mom was so pissed. So, do you mind if I tape this?“

„You really think you’ll be able to hear anything you record?“

„Sure. I grew up in this house. I’ve developed excellent listening and not-listening skills.“ Rachel flipped on the recorder. „This is an interview with Assistant State ’s Attorney Kristen Mayhew. Can you start by telling us why you chose the law as your profession?“

Kristen opened her mouth, prepared to spout the response she always used. The one that wasn’t nearly the truth. But something in Rachel Reagan’s blue eyes stopped her. „I didn’t, not at first,“ she said honestly. „I’d planned to study art. I even had an art scholarship. But in my sophomore year someone I was very close to was the victim of a serious crime.“

Rachel’s eyes grew wide. „Who?“

„I’d rather not say. She has the expectation of privacy, you know? Anyway, the person who perpetrated the crime was never punished and I didn’t think that was fair.“

„So you became a lawyer to make a difference?“

Kristen focused on the girl’s earnest expression. Rachel Reagan reminded her of herself, so many years ago. „I’d like to think so.“

Rachel had a whole list of questions. Kristen answered each one, following Becca’s movements around the kitchen, remembering her own mother doing the same, the memories bittersweet. Becca was rolling dough when the back door opened and a man wearing a Bears sweatshirt and faded jeans walked in, as tall and dark as Abe. Fondly, he dropped a kiss on Becca’s cheek and Kristen knew without asking that this was Abe’s other brother. She’d met Sean when they’d arrived, so this could be none other than -

„Aidan!“ Rachel dropped her pen. „We thought you weren’t coming.“

Aidan had a CPD uniform on a hanger slung over his shoulder. „I had to switch some shifts, but I didn’t want to miss ham.“ He plopped his hat on Rachel’s head and gave the brim a tug so that it covered her eyes. „What’s new, squirt?“

Rachel adjusted the hat so she could see. „I’m doing my homework.“

Aidan’s gaze shifted to Kristen and she could feel his cold blue eyes critically assessing her. „So I see,“ he said. „You’re ASA Mayhew.“

Kristen wasn’t sure he considered that a good thing, but stuck out her hand. „Kristen.“

He shook it „Aidan.“ His eyes, so like Abe’s, narrowed. „Why are you here?“

„Aidan.“ Becca’s mouth bent in a disapproving frown. „What’s gotten into you?“

„I’m sorry,“ Aidan replied, but it was clear from the taut clench of his jaw and his expression of disdain that he was anything but.

„Aidan.“

Kristen turned instinctively to the sound of Abe’s voice behind her. He filled the doorway to the living room and just the sight of him made her breath catch, made her lips tingle anew from the kiss he’d given her on returning from Angelo Conti’s grave. He still wore a suit, but his tie was loosened and his shirt unbuttoned, revealing a strong throat and just the hint of dense chest hair. He stepped forward, a cautious look in his eye. „What’s wrong?“

Aidan looked at Abe, then back at Kristen, disbelief mixing in with the disdain and Kristen wondered if she wore the fragile relationship with Abe on her chest like a scarlet letter. „No way,“ Aidan spat.

Rachel perked up. „No way what?“

„Be quiet Rachel,“ Aidan snapped. „Tell me it isn’t true, Abe.“

Abe considered him evenly. „You’ve never been impolite to a guest. What happened?“

„Oh, nothing. Just that my partner and three other cops in our precinct got called into IA yesterday. Seems the SA’s office is investigating cops for the murders of those low-lifes that deserved to be fried the first time around.“ Aidan glared at Kristen. „They’re good men and good cops who wouldn’t murder any man, even ones you guys were too inept to keep in jail.“

Kristen wanted to deny it but a look from Abe had her closing her mouth tightly.

„And now you have the nerve to bring her here?“ Aidan sneered. „I’m gone.“

„Don’t you move one inch.“ Becca inserted herself between the brothers. „You aren’t going anywhere, Aidan. Not until you’ve first apologized to Rachel’s guest.“

Aidan’s eyes widened and he looked at Abe. „I thought – “

Abe’s lips twitched. „I guess she’s technically Rachel’s guest“ He let Aidan stew a moment, then added, „But next time she’ll be mine.“

Delighted, Becca and Rachel stared at Kristen, whose cheeks heated. Deliberately she ignored them and looked up at Aidan. „I’m sorry your friends were hassled, but anybody who’s had any contact with those cases has had to account for their whereabouts on the nights of the murders. Everybody in the SA’s office is getting questioned, even me. If they have alibis, we’ll take them off the list. If not, they’ll have to stay there a little longer.“ She lifted her hands, let them fall. „I’m sorry. I really am.“

Aidan hesitated, then inclined his head in a single nod. „All right then.“

„If we make her eat out on the back porch, can she stay for dinner?“ Rachel asked dryly.

Aidan rolled his eyes. „Give me my hat, you smart-ass.“

„Aidan!“ Becca snapped. „Don’t curse in my kitchen.“

„Go in the living room and curse with Dad,“ Rachel said with a grin and after a moment Aidan grinned back, quickly checking the grin when his eyes met Kristen’s.

„I’m sorry,“ he said quietly. „My partner was very upset after being called into IA. We’re all afraid this is going to turn into a witch-hunt.“

„Not on my watch,“ Kristen vowed and Aidan pursed his lips, considering.

„All right then.“ He lifted one black brow. „I guess you can stay.“

Sunday, February 22,

8:00 p.m.

She’d held her own, Abe thought proudly. Kristen had survived a Sunday dinner with the Reagans. The ham was culinary history and everyone who remained gathered in the living room to watch a movie, so like old times it made his throat thicken. Sean sat on the sofa, while Ruth sat on the floor with their new baby, her back up against Sean’s knees. For a long time after Debra’s death Abe hadn’t been able to watch Sean and Ruth together. It wasn’t just that Ruth looked so much like Debra, because she did. They’d been cousins after all, their mothers were sisters. It was more the happiness Sean and Ruth exuded every time they were in the same room that was the hardest to bear. But over the years, Abe had become accustomed to the sharp pang of loss. It was a given. Just one of those things. Seeing Sean and Ruth together made his heart hurt.

Until today. Today he hadn’t been alone. Today he’d brought Kristen to his family and she’d melded right in, as if she’d known them all her life. Now she and Rachel sat on the love seat watching the Steve Martin comedy Sean had rented. From his seat on the couch Abe could watch her face as she truly relaxed for the first time in five days.

She was intent on the movie when Rachel leaned over and whispered something in her ear. It must have been classic Rachel, irreverent and funny, because Kristen threw back her head and laughed that wonderful husky laugh that made him feel like he’d taken a kick to the gut. Looking back, he should have known he wouldn’t be the only one to feel that way. Ruth twisted to stare, her face slack with shock. His parents also turned, pained.

Abe wanted to put the whole scene on freeze-frame and whisk Kristen out of the room before she noticed the family’s reaction. But of course it was too late for that. Her smile at Rachel’s witticism disappeared like mist in sunlight.

Her green eyes shot to his, wary once more. „What?“ she asked.

„My God,“ Ruth breathed, then shook her head hard. „I’m so sorry, Kristen, I didn’t mean to be rude, but… you sounded like someone I once knew.“

Kristen grew very still, her eyes still on Abe’s. „Debra?“

He’d seen fear and courage in her eyes, vulnerability and sadness. Now he saw hurt as she jumped to her own conclusions and it sliced at him like a knife. „Kristen – “

She held up her hand, a smile on her lips. „It’s okay.“ But he could see it wasn’t. She turned back to the television. „Can we rewind a bit, Sean? We missed the last minute or two.“

Sean complied. Ruth sent Abe a silent message of acute apology. The movie went on, but Steve Martin just didn’t seem as funny after that.

Sunday, February 22,

10:00 P.M.

Abe pulled past the cruiser in the street and into her driveway. She’d sincerely thanked his parents for dinner, wished Sean and Ruth congratulations on their new baby, and crossed her fingers for Rachel’s good grade on the interview. But once in his SUV, she’d grown quiet and with every mile to her house, his heart grew heavier. He could almost hear the wheels turning in her mind and desperately wished she’d say something. Anything. Finally, she did.

„It’s okay, Reagan,“ she said. He winced at the formality. Her eyes wouldn’t meet his, focusing instead on her darkened windows with their new curtains. „I understand.“

He put his hand on hers. „What do you understand?“

„I understood before tonight that you needed to take care of me, to keep me safe. Because you didn’t keep Debra safe. Even though that wasn’t your fault. I guess I didn’t think that I was a substitute in every other way, though.“ She swallowed and looked out the window. „That hurt the old ego a little,“ she added wryly.

„You’re not a substitute for Debra. Dammit, Kristen, look at me.“

She shook her head firmly and opened the door. „Thank you. Really. I had a lovely time and you have a wonderful family. Call me tomorrow if you want to meet on the case. I’ve got Officer Truman here tonight. I’ll be fine.“

And she would be, Kristen thought. She’d been through a hell of a lot worse than this, after all. She slammed the SUV door, half-expecting him to follow her. She told herself she wasn’t disappointed when he didn’t. He backed out of her driveway with an engine roar that would most certainly make her neighbors complain. She entered her kitchen, not thinking about the fact it was the first time she’d entered her own house alone in the past five days. Not thinking about the kiss they’d shared over by her teapot. Not thinking about him at all.

It wasn’t a bad outcome all in all. She’d discovered that she could tolerate, even anticipate feeling strong arms around her. That she could kiss a man without throwing up, that she could even yearn for the feel of his lips on hers. So it wasn’t a total loss.

She dropped her coat on the kitchen chair. Bypassed the teapot. She didn’t think she could stomach tea tonight. At least he wouldn’t be able to peep in her windows anymore. Heavy curtains covered the glass.

She closed the door to her bedroom, not thinking about Abe Reagan at all.

But it was his name she screamed when the hand came out of the darkness to clamp over her mouth, muffling her scream, yanking her back against a large, hard body. She struggled violently, her nails raking against skin. A strangled cry met her ears and the hand left her mouth, an iron arm locking hard across her breasts, immobilizing her. She screamed again, kicking, her heel catching something hard. Then her body went still when cold, hard metal touched her temple. I’m going to die.

Lips grazed her ear and she swallowed back the bile. „That’s better,“ a raspy voice declared. „Now, who is he?“

Sunday, February 22,

10:05 p.m.

She had a right to be hurt, Abe thought, pulling away from her house. A smart woman like Kristen had put two and two together. Unfortunately she got five. She was not a substitute for Debra. Was she? He thought about her walking into her house alone, all alone. I should have followed her in, checked her closet. But Charlie Truman was there, watching.

Abe went still, while every hair on his neck seemed to stand on end. Wasn’t he? He’d seen the cruiser, but had he seen Truman?

Panic closed his throat and he turned a one-eighty in the middle of the road. A car blew its horn, but Abe was already halfway up the block. He brought the SUV to a screeching halt next to the cruiser. Jumped out to peer in the window.

The cruiser was dark and empty. He yanked at the cruiser’s door, but it was locked. Truman was gone.

Kristen.

„Dammit.“ Abe ran up the driveway, his feet slipping on the ice. He fell and pulled himself back up to his feet, already running again. She’d locked her kitchen door. He pounded with his fists. „Kristen!“

He rounded the house to the back. The basement door was less secure. He could break it down. He threw himself at the door, again and again, until the frame cracked and he was inside. Mindlessly he took the stairs four at a time until he was stumbling into her bedroom, his weapon drawn and his heart hammering.

She knelt on the floor, her head down, gasping, the cordless phone from her nightstand in her hand. He went down on one knee, pulled her chin up. Her eyes were wide and glassy.

She looked at him, then looked at the phone in her hand and ironically his cell phone started to trill in his pocket. „I was calling you,“ she said, her voice oddly distant. „He’s gone. Out the window.“

Abe made it to the window in time to see a figure all in black against the snowy white of the backyard. The man took the back fence like a hurdle and sprinted away.

„Dammit,“ Abe snarled. He might have caught him had he stayed outside. But then again, his breaking in was probably what made the bastard flee. He turned to find Kristen struggling to her feet. In two long strides he was lifting her into his arms. He sank down onto her bed, holding her tight, feeling her body quake. She curled herself against him, her hands clutching the lapels of his coat. Her breath came fast, too fast, and he rocked her gently.

„It’s okay. I’m here.“ He cradled her, pressing his cheek to the top of her head. Oh, God, oh, God. I got here in time. He drew a deep breath, realizing his own breathing was nearly as erratic as hers. He rumbled in his pocket for his cell phone and dialed Dispatch. „Officer Truman is missing.“

The operator was calm. „Officer Truman called in a disturbance ten minutes ago. A young girl approached his vehicle to report her grandfather had fallen and was unconscious in her backyard. He went to help her. What’s happened, Detective?“

„The woman he was supposed to be guarding was just attacked in her own bedroom,“ Abe bit out. „Radio him to return immediately.“ He hung up and dialed Mia. She picked up on the first ring.

„What is it?“

„Kristen’s been attacked.“

He could hear Mia moving around, drawers slamming. „Is she all right?“

„Don’t know. Call Jack. I want a CSU team here ASAP. I’ll call Spinnelli.“

„Will do. Where’s the uniform assigned to her?“

„Took another call. He’ll be back soon. Get here as fast as you can.“

He hung up and, his hand shaking, tossed the cell phone onto her bed. She hadn’t said a single word since he’d picked her up. „Kristen, Kristen, honey, you need to concentrate. Listen to me, honey. Did he hurt you?“

She shook her head hard against his chest and he drew a breath of relief. Let it out. Started to feel his heart return to normal. „Okay, good. Did he say anything to you?“

She nodded.

„What, honey? What did he say?“

Her response was mumbled against his coat. He gently pulled her away from his chest and she valiantly attempted to control her breathing. „Who… is he?“

Shit. „He wanted to know who the killer was?“

She nodded, her eyes sliding closed. „He had… a gun. Cold. He… put it… to my head… said… he’d blow…“ She shuddered and gathered fistfuls of his coat in her hands. „Said he’d… blow… brains out Mine. He said… I was… getting letters. So… I… had to… had to… know him. Maybe… hired him.“

Abe uttered a foul curse regarding Zoe Richardson and, unbelievably Kristen smiled. „Such… chivalry,“ she said, taking even breaths through her nose.

Abe brought her close again, holding her tight. „What else did he say?“

„Said if I didn’t know… I’d better figure it out… Or people I cared about… would die.“

A siren sounded in the distance, growing closer with each second. Abe gently settled her on the bed. „I’ve got to check the perimeter. Maybe he dropped something on his way in or out.“

„But you don’t think so.“

„No. Stay here. I’ll be back.“

„Abe.“

He turned at the doorway to find her staring down at her hands, her breath still hitching. „Send one of… Jack’s guys in here to… scrape my nails.“ She looked up, her mouth set in a satisfied line. „I… got his face.“

Abe smiled grimly. „That’s my girl.“

Monday, February 23,

12:30 a.m.

It was over now. All the police and CSU were gone. The only people left in her house were herself and Abe Reagan. They faced each other in her living room and he held out his hand. She walked into his arms.

„How did you know to come back?“ she asked, her cheek pressed hard into his solid chest. A heartbeat later she was swung up into his arms and he settled on the sofa, holding her on his lap like she was a baby. To protest never entered her mind.

He pulled the pins from her hair with quick, efficient movements and she sighed as the pressure on her head disappeared and her curls sprang free. „I remembered I hadn’t actually seen Truman in the cruiser.“ He shrugged. „I just knew.“

„Thank you.“ One corner of her mouth lifted. „Either I’m getting good at playing the damsel in distress or you’re getting good at playing the white knight.“

He massaged her head with his big hand. „Do they have to be mutually exclusive?“

She closed her eyes and simply enjoyed the feel of his hand. „No. I called you again.“

„Before you called 9-1-1,“ he said sternly and she just smiled.

„I guess I did. I knew you’d come.“ She sighed. „Thanks. For taking care of me.“

He was quiet for a long moment. „You were lucky tonight.“

She didn’t want to think about it. „Will Officer Truman get into any trouble?“

Abe shook his head and Kristen felt relieved. Officer Truman looked as upset as she’d felt when he’d returned mere minutes after Abe had broken down the door to save her. „No. He did everything right. How was he to know he was being lured away from you by a false report? The girl who approached his vehicle seemed sincerely frantic.“

„Who was she?“

„Truman will give a description to the sketch artists, but I’m not counting on anything. After he thought about it, he couldn’t even say for certain she was a teenager. She told him her grandfather had gone out to walk the dog, that it was a while before she even realized he was gone. That she’d found her grandfather facedown in the snow, and he was unconscious. He chalked up her not calling 9-1-1 to the panic of a kid. Of course, there was no old man.“

„Why didn’t he take the cruiser to the girl’s house?“

„She told him it would be faster to cross the backyards, that it was only a few houses away. She was crying and hysterical. Then she was gone. Disappeared into thin air when he’d turned his back to search for the old man. By the time he realized he’d been set up, I was here.“

Kristen nuzzled her cheek against the crisp cotton of his shirt and once again his hand threaded through her curls, massaging the back of her head. She could feel the tension lessen by slow degrees. „Well, it’s done and over and we’re both all right. What a day.“

His hand stilled, his palm cradling her head. „Kristen, I’m sorry.“

She opened her eyes to find him staring down at her, his eyes desolate. „Why?“

„Because I made you feel bad in front of my family. Yes, you sound like Debra. But I swear to you, you are not a substitute for my dead wife.“

She looked at his face, felt his strong arms around her. Remembered how it had felt when she heard him banging on the basement door. He’d come back. „It’s okay.“

His eyes widened. „It is?“

She nodded. „Abe, you’ve come every time I’ve called. You made me feel things I never thought I’d ever feel. I’m grateful for that. In the grand scheme of life, whether I sound like Debra or not really isn’t that important.“ She narrowed her eyes. „Now if you want me to wear her clothes or wear my hair like her, I may start to get a little weirded out.“

He chuckled. „You’d look like a kid playing dress-up if you tried to wear Debra’s clothes. She was five-eleven without her shoes on.“

Kristen returned her head to his shoulder, felt his arms tighten around her in response. „I liked your family, Abe. Even Aidan.“

He snorted gently. „Aidan can be a real ass sometimes.“

„Not like you.“

He pulled back to glare down at her. „Excuse me?“

„It’s not like you got mad at me for including cops on the list of suspects. Right?“

He yanked one of her curls. „Hush, or I won’t give you a massage.“

Her brows shot up. „A massage? Really?“

„I was considering it. You’re still tighter than a drum.“

She regarded him intently, thought about having his hands on her shoulders and her back and she wanted to melt. Conversely, she thought about his hands on her… elsewhere… and her stomach clenched. „I trust you, you know?“

His eyes heated with what she’d left unsaid. „I know. It kills me to know, but yeah, I know. Proper massage. No more. But I do want something in return.“

She sucked in one cheek. „What?“

„Tell me about your family. I took you to mine, idiot brother and all. Tell me about yours.“

Kristen sighed. It wasn’t the same, not at all. But again, in the grand scheme of life, what did it really matter? „I grew up on a farm in Kansas a hundred miles from the nearest stoplight. There was just me and my sister, Kara“

„You said that your sister died in a drunk-driving accident.“

She felt the familiar ache, as if it were yesterday instead of fifteen years ago. „I was sixteen, she was eighteen. Kara always was the wild one. We grew up in a very…“ She searched for the right word. „Our house was rigid. My father liked rules. Kara didn’t. When she was eighteen, she took a trip with some friends. They drove into Topeka, hotbed of sin.“

Abe smiled and ruefully she smiled back. „After living on a little farm with wheat as far as the eye could see, even Topeka was like living on the edge.“ She sobered, remembering now. „Kara must have gone to some parties. Anyway, my parents got the call from the state police in the middle of the night. Kara was dead.“

He’d sobered as well. „I’m sorry.“

„So was I. On a number of levels. I loved my sister, and I missed her. I still do. But something happened to my parents after she was gone. My father grew more rigid and Mother just wound down. Before, she’d temper his rules. But after Kara died, she just went into this… I don’t know. A dark place. She was never the same again.“

„You must’ve been angry that she didn’t care enough to be there for you.“

Kristen considered it. „I suppose so. I was mad. Plus, my father cracked down even harder on me. You’d’ve thought it was me that was the wild child. He wouldn’t let me leave the house except for school. I missed the football games, prom, everything. But I had a wonderful art teacher in high school who helped me get the work study program in Florence, set me up with a local family. Even asked my father for permission to let me go.“

„He said no.“

Kristen looked up at him. His eyes hadn’t left her face. „He said no.“ She shrugged. „So I defied him and went anyway. I was eighteen by then and had saved my money from babysitting before Kara died. Plus, Kara had a nest egg set aside. I knew she’d want me to have it, so I took it and bought a ticket to Italy. One way. I knew I’d eventually have to come home, but I wasn’t thinking that far ahead.“

„I can’t visualize you as an extemporaneous girl,“ Abe said softly.

Kristen thought of the girl she’d been. „Time changes people. Anyway, I came back from Italy and went to college. My father never changed, so I just… left“ It was a partial truth, but all she was able or willing to tell at this point. Maybe ever.

He studied her face and she knew he knew she hadn’t told the whole story, but he didn’t press. „You said your father is still alive. When was the last time you saw him?“

„Last month.“

Abe’s brows shot up. „Last month?“

„Yes. My mom is in a nursing home.“ Her throat tightened. „She’s in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s. She hasn’t recognized me in three years, but I fly back to Kansas once a month to visit her. My dad was there the last time. He usually doesn’t come on my Sundays, but my mom had a bad night and they’d called him in. He left the room when I arrived, so technically I saw him, but we didn’t speak.“

„I’m sorry.“

„So am I. It’s hard to see my mother like that. I enjoyed just watching your mother tonight Before Kara died, my mom used to love being in her kitchen. After Kara died, she was too depressed. Now she just lies there, wasting away. She hasn’t been my mom since I was sixteen.“

He was quiet a moment. „I used to visit Debra and talk and talk and never know if she heard a word I said.“

Kristen rested her forehead on his chest „Sometimes,“ she said wearily, „I just wish she’d die and then I feel so guilty.“

His chest rose and fell. „Yeah, I used to do the same. And I’d feel guilty, too.“

„On Friday night you said she was in a coma for five years.“ Five years was one hell of a long time to watch someone you loved just exist.

„She wasn’t in a coma. She was in a persistent vegetative state. It’s different. Debra was clinically brain-dead from the moment they wheeled her into the ER.“

Kristen hesitated, then blurted it out. „Did you ever consider pulling her life support?“

Another rise and fall of his massive chest. „Only every time I saw her or thought about her. But I couldn’t. As long as she was alive, I just couldn’t. But her parents wanted me to.“

Kristen’s eyes widened. „I thought parents were usually the ones to hold on.“

„Not Debra’s.“ His face shadowed. „Her father was suing me for custody when she died. They said she wouldn’t want to go on like that and I knew it was true, but she was alive.“

„And if she was alive there was hope.“

„Yes. Then Debra’s mother had a heart attack. Her father said seeing Debra like that year after year was killing her. He was desperate. I didn’t know what to do, but I just couldn’t do what he wanted. He filed for custody a month before Debra got an infection and died on her own. Her parents and I didn’t part on what you’d call friendly terms.“

„I guess not.“

He sighed. „Debra and Ruth were cousins. That’s how we met Sean and Ruth set me up with Debra on a surprise blind date.“

That was important for some reason, Kristen thought and searched her brain for a connection, nodding when she found it „That’s what Ruth was talking about the other night when she was here. Her mother invited Debra’s parents to the christening.“

Abe smiled ruefully. „Very good. Now if you can think of what I’m supposed to say when I see them, I’ll be really impressed. But that’s enough angst for one night“ He stood up, letting her body slide against his until her feet hit the floor. He pressed his lips to her forehead, held them there for three hard beats of her heart. Then he pushed her gently toward her bedroom. „One massage. Then I’ll get a lousy night’s sleep on your sofa.“

„It’s uncomfortable?“

„No.“ He sounded regretfully amused, walking behind her. „I will be.“

She stopped short, her whole body stiffening. He came closer and his heat burned her back. „I’m sorry.“ And she was. He would be, too, when the time finally came.

He pushed her curls off her neck and brushed his lips against her skin. She shuddered. „Don’t be,“ he murmured. „I meant what I said. One day at a time. That’s what we’ll do.“

She gathered up her courage. „You’ll be… disappointed.“

His breath was warm against her skin. „I don’t think so. But don’t worry about that now. Right now I’m going to get those knots out of your back and you’re going to sleep like a baby.“ He gave her another little shove. „You have my personal guarantee.“

She stopped next to her bed. Plucked at her blouse uncertainly. Felt like a fool. She was thirty-one years old, for God’s sake.

„Whatever makes you most comfortable,“ he murmured. „You said you trust me.“

She drew a deep breath and lay facedown on her bed, her clothes intact „I do.“ More than any man I’ve ever known.

„Scoot over a little,“ he said and sat down at her hip. „I have to confess up front. I learned how to do massages for Debra. It kept her muscles from atrophying, and the hospice never had the staff to do it as often as needed to be done.“

She tensed when he put his hands on her, but he said nothing, just started working her muscles with methodical skill until she began to relax. „Mmm. You’re so good at this.“

He still said nothing, just continued working the muscles on either side of her spine and she sighed. And wondered how it would feel to have his hands directly on her skin.

His hands paused. „It would feel much better, I think,“ he murmured, his voice warm and husky. „Take off your shirt.“

Once again, she’d spoken her thoughts aloud. She should feel threatened that this man was able to draw her very thoughts into the open, but she wasn’t. „Turn around.“ She stripped off her blouse, hesitated at her bra. That would stay. She resettled herself on her stomach. „Okay.“ Then waited expectantly for the first feel of his hands on her bare flesh. She sucked in a breath when he touched her, let it out on a long sigh. He was right. It was much better.

„You have a very pretty back,“ he said softly and she shivered. Hard.

„Cold?“

„No.“ Not even close. She was warm wherever he touched her and everywhere he didn’t. Her breasts grew sensitized within the confines of her plain cotton bra and her pulse throbbed between her legs with an almost painful pressure. She arched her back, pressing her pelvis into the mattress.

He paused. „Did I hurt you?“

„No.“ Not like he meant anyway. It was more like an ache. An ache only he could take away. I want him to touch me.

Abe stopped abruptly. She hadn’t meant the words to be heard. He knew that. But he’d heard them nevertheless. She wanted him to touch her, and right here, right now, he could think of little else. But he’d promised her a proper massage. Nothing more. Even though he could just see the plump curve of her breast. Even though her spine dipped enticingly at the waist of her wool slacks. Even though right now he was harder and more ready than he thought he’d ever been before.

Drawing on every ounce of self-control, he pulled the quilt from the foot of her bed and covered her with it. She was almost asleep while he suspected he would do little sleeping tonight He stood up. Watched her draw deep even breaths. Noted the way her dark lashes lay on her creamy skin like fans. He bent down and kissed her cheek.

„Sleep now,“ he whispered. He started to straighten, but her hand shot out and clamped over his wrist with surprising strength.

She half rolled to look up at him, her green eyes intense. „Don’t go.“ His eyes, damn them, dipped lower, taking in her breasts, silently cursing the utilitarian white bra that hid them from his view. He needed to get out of here. Now.

He shook his head. „I’ll sleep on the floor outside your door. You’ll be safe.“

„Don’t go.“ Her grip tightened. „Please.“

„Kristen, I…“ He exhaled, and gently pried her fingers from his wrist. „You need to sleep. And I can’t stay here. I promised you.“

„I know.“ She grabbed a handful of his shirt, swung up, sitting on the edge of the bed. Her free hand captured his, and she brought his palm to her lips.

And he couldn’t contain the groan. „Kristen, let me go. Now.“

„No.“ She took his hand, placed it over her heart which pounded. „You can’t possibly understand… I never thought I’d ever feel this way.“ She looked up and her eyes weren’t afraid or wary or hurt. They were alive and bewitching. Compelling. Not taking her eyes from his, she moved his hand inch by inch until his palm covered white cotton. Covered his hand with her own, pressing his fingers until he held her breast cupped in his hand. „It’s you,“ she breathed, so softly he almost didn’t hear. Dropping her hand to her lap, her eyes slid closed.

And God help him, he couldn’t say no. Gently he pushed her back against the bed and joined her there, his hand now freely exploring, his thumb seeking out the hard tip that the white cotton couldn’t hide. „You are so beautiful,“ he whispered and bent to kiss her lips. Her hand came up and smoothed the hair at the nape of his neck so he deepened the kiss and felt her sigh. He moved his hand to her other breast and she arched to meet him. She was fluid grace and intoxicating innocence all at once and he knew whatever her past, whatever had turned her from the impulsive, spontaneous girl she’d once been to the wary woman he’d met just five days before, what she was feeling now was brand new. He bent his head to her breast and kissed her through her bra and her gasp made him feel proud, like he’d done something totally remarkable. And maybe he had.

She pulled his head closer and he opened his mouth, tonguing her stiff nipple, wishing there was nothing between his mouth and her skin. Then her hand left his head, tugged at the cotton and there wasn’t. He drew her nipple into his mouth and sucked.

And she moaned his name. His pounding heart exploded. He wanted her. Wanted her naked, wanted to feel her sheathed around him. Wanted to feel her tighten, convulsing, his name on her lips. Before he realized his intentions, his hand was sliding lower, his fingers questing, finding. Claiming.

A startled little gasp surprised him and he raised his head. Confused panic warred with the passion in her eyes. „Sshh,“ he soothed. „It’s just my hand. That’s all. I’ll stop.“

Her eyes narrowed and her hand once again covered his, keeping him from making good on his offer. „No, you won’t“

His lips quirked. She’d taken the reins. Good for her. „Whatever you say, lady.“

„Don’t call me lady.“ Then she closed her eyes, her lips pressed together. Her hand fell away from his, clutching the quilt. She frowned, focusing so hard he had to smile. He rubbed the heel of his hand across the hard bone of her pubis, watched her face change, soften, watched pleasure chase the frown away. She was beautiful like this, discovering her own capacity for passion. He fondled her through her slacks, saying nothing, showing her how good she could feel. Her eyes flew open and in them he saw amazement and urgency.

„Don’t stop,“ she whispered.

He gritted his teeth against the sudden surge of his own body. Not now. This time is Kristen’s. „I won’t.“ He didn’t, and she moved her hips, lifting against his hand, her breath coming in hard pants. She braced one foot on the mattress so she could push harder and then her body froze. Her hand dropped the quilt and clamped over his, pressing, pressing, and Abe knew he’d never seen anything sexier than Kristen caught up in climax. She slumped back, still panting. His body hurt, his erection straining for release. But even the power of his own need was nothing compared to the look in her eyes when her lashes lifted.

„I did it“ It was an awed whisper. „I really did it.“

He had to smile despite the throbbing in his groin. „Yes, you did.“

„Thank you.“ It was more than simple gratitude. This was a watershed moment in her life and he was humbled to have shared it with her. He could only hope she had another, more advanced watershed moment very soon. He wasn’t sure his body could stand the strain of watching her again without participating a little more actively.

He tugged her bra up to cover her breast and pushed the tousled curls away from her face. „You’re welcome.“

She shuddered out a breath. „You didn’t…“

He pressed a hard kiss to her mouth. „I didn’t. But it’s okay.“

She bit her lip. „I’m sorry.“

He laid a finger against her lips. „Be quiet. I’m fine.“

„Abe…“ Tears filled her eyes and her breath hitched. „I’m sorry, I – “

„Sshh.“ He gathered her in his arms, settling her on his lap for the second time that evening. He’d had expected this response, but still her tears tore at his heart. She pressed her cheek against his chest and her shoulders shook.

„I was so afraid.“

He kissed the top of her head. „Of me?“

She shook her head. „Not you. That I’d never…“ She lifted a shoulder. „You know.“

He knew and he silently cursed whoever had made her lose confidence in her own body, who’d hurt her so badly that she’d all but buried whoever she’d once been.

Hurt her. What a pathetic euphemism that was. He was a cop, he’d seen everything and still he had trouble saying the word he knew she’d never forget. Rape. She’d been raped. He made himself think the word, forced himself to stay calm when what he really wanted to do was find out who’d done it and tear his guts out with his bare hands, and felt a flash of respect, gratitude to the killer who’d already removed one rapist from the planet. It was wrong to feel that way, but at the moment, if he knew who’d hurt the woman in his arms, he wasn’t sure that he wasn’t capable of cold-blooded retribution murder himself.

„Do you want to talk about it now?“ he asked quietly and her body tensed.

She shook her head again, more vehemently this time. „No, not now. Not now.“

Abe hugged her close. „Then sleep.“

Monday, February 23,

1:30 a.m.

He’d lost control before, with Conti. That couldn’t, wouldn’t happen again. Not that the beast didn’t deserve it, and a lot more. But it was dangerous. He’d left evidence behind on Conti’s body, of that he was certain, but apart from dipping the man in a vat of lye, he didn’t know how to rectify the situation. What was, was.

You could have just buried him and left his family to wonder, he thought. But that would have robbed him of precious closure. The world knew that Conti had been punished for his crimes against Paula Garcia, her unborn son, the American justice system, and last but far from least, Kristen Mayhew. Perhaps now the scum that paraded through her court would think twice before publicly defaming her name.

He shifted, trying to find a comfortable place on the concrete of the roof. He’d had to find a new rooftop. Who would have thought the police would use Skinner’s car to guide them to the old rooftop? He had to give them credit. Mitchell and Reagan were no fools. Especially that Reagan. He frowned a little, thinking of how Reagan arrived to rescue Kristen from those thugs that ran her car off the road. Kristen had walked into his arms like she’d known him all her life instead of only a few days.

He sincerely hoped that Reagan wasn’t the kind of man to push his advantage. If Reagan was foolish enough to try, he’d find Kristen had powerful allies in hidden places.

Aah, finally. He’d thought his target would never come. After his little detour with Conti, he’d gone back to the fishbowl and resumed his quest. Tonight’s mark had been easy enough to lure. He’d found Arthur Monroe in a bar, quickly made friends by buying the man a beer. Then he’d made Monroe practically drool by bragging about a stash of pure cocaine and offering him some if Monroe met him here tonight. The lure had worked well in the past, bringing him every mark except for Skinner who’d required a slightly different candy. Skinner’s lure had been the promise of discrediting information about a victim who was accusing one of Skinner’s clients with sexual harassment. His lips curled in distaste. Killing Skinner had been one of his greater contributions to humanity.

But tonight was about Arthur Monroe, a man who’d justified his gross sexual imposition of the young daughter of his girlfriend by saying the five-year-old had „led him on,“ that he „hadn’t been able to help himself,“ that it had been a „one time thing.“ Kristen pushed for a trial, but the mother refused to allow her child to testify. He gritted his teeth as he brought the mark into his sight Most of the time parents refused to allow their children to testify to protect them from media exposure and further trauma. This little girl’s mother didn’t want her boyfriend to go to jail. To Kristen’s shock, the judge in this case had sided with the boyfriend.

He’d known her by then and remembered that day well. She’d been devastated. She’d worked out a plea that she’d found repugnant enough, but the judge had unbelievably decided society in general had failed the pedophilic boyfriend and had rejected the plea, sentencing Monroe to probation and counseling.

Probation. For molesting a five-year-old. He smiled grimly as he tracked the man crossing the road. This time he’d get the boyfriend. Maybe next time he’d pull a judge’s name out of the fishbowl. Because there were judges in there, waiting with all the others.

He inched the sight down, bringing the man’s knees into view. He really wanted Monroe to pay, and with more than an easy death. But the vision of his own bloody hands after he’d killed Conti entered his mind, front and center. His bloody, gloveless hands. What a stupid mistake to make. He couldn’t risk losing control again. The police already knew the florist sign on the van was a sham, and they’d recovered a bullet. That the bullet was too damaged to identify was a short-term boon. Sooner or later they’d figure it out and find him. He needed to hurry. There were many more names in the fishbowl.

He brought the sight up to Monroe’s forehead and gently squeezed the trigger.

Nine down and still a million to go.