Ice Run

Chapter Seven

I woke up shivering. I don’t know how long I had been lying there. At that moment, I barely even knew what had happened. All I knew was that I was cold and I was in pain. Cold and pain, that’s all there was in the world.

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was red brick. I was lying curled up against a wall and there was a light layer of snow melting on the side of my face. I tried to get up. That wasn’t going to work. Very bad idea. I tried rolling over. Another very bad idea. I lifted my head. Worst idea yet.

This is it, I thought. I’m gonna freeze to death right here. Just like… somebody. I couldn’t think straight. Just like who?

Like Simon Grant. It all started to come back to me. The funeral, meeting the family, walking back here with Chris Woolsey’s father, then everything that happened after that.

Behind a church yet. I had gotten beaten within an inch of my life behind a church.

Okay, now what? I tried to think. My cell phone… Where was it? In the truck. I tried to roll over again. I just had to see…

Damn it, that hurt. God damn it. I saw another building, just beyond the plowed parking lot. It looked like a garage. Some trees. An empty swing set half buried in the snow. Beyond that, the backs of more buildings, over on Maple Street. Too far away.

I’ve gotta move, I thought. Move now or die here.

I rolled again. God, that hurt. I was on my hands and knees now. I was bleeding. The blood was getting in my eyes. Son of a bitch.

As I shook my head to clear my eyes, everything went out of focus and my ears rang like I was underwater. Okay, I thought, no more shaking my head.

I wiped my eyes, felt the cut above my left eyebrow. Not good. Not good at all. I tried to push myself up with my hands. My head started pounding again.

“Help,” I said. “I need some help here…”

But there was no sound except the wind.

I know somebody will come by eventually, I thought. If I can get around to the front of the church, somebody will see me. The street is busy enough, even in the dead of winter. I just have to… have to…

I wobbled and rolled back down to the ground.

“No,” I said. “Get up. Get up, Alex.” I pushed myself back up to my hands and knees. “Now move.”

I worked my way toward the corner of the building. I left a path in the snow as I moved, a jagged line of red running down the center. My jaw started to ache. My nose. My ribs. Then the bells went off in my head again. I stopped in my tracks and waited for it to pass. Then I started moving again. I fought inch by inch until finally I could see around the corner. The rest of the parking lot was empty now, everyone else gone. They had all left for the cemetery. No vehicles in sight, except for my truck. My truck, with the heater. And the cell phone. A hundred feet away.

I didn’t see any cars moving on Portage Avenue. But somebody would come eventually. I started moving. I had to get closer to the road. Or to my truck. That was closer. No, the road.

I kept crawling. A car came by, moving slowly.

“Help,” I said, too weakly for anyone to actually hear me. “Please stop.”

The car passed and was gone.

Get to your feet, I thought. Get up and walk. Go to the truck and call somebody. It’s the only way you’re gonna get out of here. Just get up and walk.

Okay, okay. Just have to catch my breath. Breathe, damn it. Breathe.

On the count of three, I’m gonna get up.

One.

Two.

Three. I pushed myself up, tried to move my weight back onto my legs. I fell forward, caught myself with my hands, leaned all the way forward this time, letting my legs catch up.

Just like that, Alex. Just like that. Now stand up.

I pushed up with one arm, then the other. I was crouching now, bleeding into the snow, the red drops free-falling now, making little red specks.

Stand. Up.

I tried to straighten out my body. Everything went into a whirl, all the colors spinning around me, all the sounds like instruments playing at once, the trombones and the tubas and the bass drums.

Get to the truck, Alex. Get to the truck. Where is it?

I saw it in one direction, then another. It was moving all around, taunting me. I took one step, another step, and then I was falling down a hill sideways, putting my hand down to keep from falling again.

The truck is there. It’s right there.

But I couldn’t walk straight. I pointed myself in one direction and moved in another, east instead of north. I tried to double back. God, my head. My aching head.

I didn’t know where I was going now. I was moving and everything kept turning around me and then there was nothing but sky above me and then snow all over the ground, wherever I looked. Nothing but white, white snow.

Then I heard something. One of the instruments in the band playing a long note, louder and louder. Something was coming for me. Something big. It got closer and closer until it was right on top of me and it was all I could see.

I reached out one hand to it.

“No more,” I said. “No more.”

I went down. All the way. I tasted the salt on the road.

“No more.”

There was a light shining into my eyes. It hurt like hell. I blinked and then I tried to sit up. I felt a hand on each shoulder, holding me down.

“Don’t get up, Mr. McKnight,” a voice said. “Please, just stay right there.”

I blinked a few more times. Then I saw a face. It looked familiar.

“Do you know who you are?” the voice said.

“What?”

“Your name. Tell me your name.”

“McKnight. You just said it. My name is Alex McKnight.”

“Okay, good. What day is it?”

“I don’t know.” I tried to sit up again. The hands kept me down.

“Please, Mr. McKnight. You have to lie still.”

Everything else started to come into focus. The white ceiling, the fluorescent lights. I was in a hospital room. The doctor was looking at a medical file. He had a white coat on, and a stethoscope hanging around his neck. He had a beard. I knew this man.

“What happened?” I said. “How did I get here?”

“You tell me,” he said. “Someone brought you into the emergency room. The man said he almost ran over you.”

“Where have I seen you before?”

“My name is Doctor Glenn. I treated you once before. That time it was cracked ribs and a collapsed lung. Do you remember?”

“Yeah, I remember.” That meant I was in War Memorial, on Os-born. I was just a few blocks away from the church.

“This time it’s your head. Are you going to tell me what happened?”

“It’s all kinda fuzzy, Doc.”

“I bet.” He held his pen in front of my face and moved it from side to side. I followed it with my eyes. He seemed satisfied and went back to his notes.

“Do I have a concussion?”

He looked up at me. “You’re kidding, right?”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Grade three, Mr. McKnight. Do you know what that means?”

“I’ll be sitting out a few games.”

“You have a hairline fracture in your right eye orbital. Another hairline fracture in your cheekbone. The cut above your eyebrow took twenty-seven stitches, ten internal and seventeen external. And you have fifteen stitches in the back of your head.”

I reached up and felt the bandages on my head. “What about the rest of me?”

“You have bruises all over your torso, but no broken ribs this time. I guess that’s the good news.”

“Some of my bottom teeth feel a little loose.”

“They may tighten up on their own,” he said. “If they don’t, you’ll have to see your dentist.”

“So aside from all that, I’m just fine.”

He shook his head and flipped a page. “I see we found a little something in your chest last time,” he said.

“The bullet. That was from a long time ago.”

“The eighties, you told me.”

“Yes.”

“I believe I asked you then if you’d been having your annual chest X-ray, to make sure the bullet hasn’t migrated.”

“Doctor, can we talk about this later? No offense, but your voice is like a drill in my head right now.”

“Everything’s going to hurt for a few days,” he said. “Sounds, lights, you name it. Now that you’re awake, we can start some medication.”

“How long am I gonna be here?”

“At least two days,” he said. “Maybe three. Is there somebody you’d like me to contact?”

I thought about it. “Yeah,” I said. I gave him two names-Vinnie LeBlanc and Leon Prudell, along with the phone numbers. I thought about adding Natalie to the list for about a second and a half, but then I thought, no way. No way in hell.

“I’ll send the nurse in with the meds,” he said. “In the meantime, try not to move. The police should be here in a few minutes.”

“Doctor-”

“This one’s automatic,” he said. He closed the file and tucked it under his arm. “Last time, what did you tell me? You hurt yourself skiing?”

“I think I might have said sledding.”

“Yeah, well, I let it go then. I probably shouldn’t have. This time, somebody really did a number on you, Mr. McKnight. I’m not just going to send you back out there. Even if I wanted to, the law wouldn’t let me.”

“Whatever you say, Doc.” I put my head back on the pillow and immediately regretted it. Damn, it hurt to do anything. Anything at all. I looked over at the other bed in the room. It was empty. A dark television screen looked down at me from just below the ceiling. I thought about turning it on, but no, I was sure watching television would hurt, too.

My clothes. Where were they? I was wearing a paper hospital gown beneath the covers. God, I hated hospitals. Every bad thing in my life had something to do with a hospital. Watching my mother die when I was a kid, and then my father many years later. Being older didn’t make it any easier. Then when I got shot. Lying there with all those tubes stuck in me, my soon-to-be-ex wife looking down at me and then around the room, like she was thinking of escaping out the window.

And somewhere in that same hospital, on that hot summer day way back when in Detroit, in the basement, my partner Franklin was lying on a bed of cold steel, a white sheet over his head.

Yeah, I hated hospitals. The last time around, I had promised myself I would never spend one minute in a hospital again. Yet here I was.

A nurse came in and gave me some drugs. I asked her to help me up so I could use the bathroom. She told me I’d be better off with the little urinal bottle, but I disagreed with her right up until I actually tried to sit up straight. “Bring on the bottle,” I said. Even using that hurt.

A little later, Chief Maven appeared at the door, just to make the day complete. “You realize,” he said as he came in, “this is the third time I’ve seen you in a hospital bed.”

“And it never loses its magic.”

“Cut the crap, McKnight. What happened?”

“You didn’t have to come over here yourself,” I said. “You could have sent an officer.”

“No, this one I had to see for myself. What did you do this time?”

“I don’t think I did anything, Chief. I think it was all done to me, you know what I mean?”

“Who are we talking about?”

I hesitated.

“Come on,” he said. “They found you on Portage Avenue, right in front of St. Mary’s. Just a couple of hours after Simon Grant’s funeral.”

“You know how Catholic funerals are. They can get a little rough.”

He didn’t smile. “McKnight, God damn you,” he said, moving closer. “Were you listening when I told you to leave that family alone?”

“I actually was, yes.”

“Then what the hell were you doing there?”

I started to feel dizzy again. I closed my eyes and waited for it to pass. “Chief, I went to the hotel and I asked about Chris Woolsey. He was the doorman that night, the night Mr. Grant died. I had no idea that he was the man’s grandson. Then later, I stopped by his parents’ house-”

“Why did you do that?”

“I told you, I just wanted to talk to him.”

He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. “Okay, and then?”

“I figured I’d just go to the funeral, to pay my respects. That’s when I found out Mrs. Woolsey was Simon Grant’s daughter.”

“Then the Grant brothers beat the living shit out of you.”

I didn’t say anything.

“I know those boys,” he said. “Believe me.”

“Yeah, well, now I know them, too.”

“Listen,” he said, “did it ever occur to you that maybe I was looking out for you when I told you to stay away?”

“No. Not really.”

“I’m serious, McKnight. I know you think I’m just a hard-ass, but for once in your life did it occur to you that I was trying to do you a favor?”

“No, Chief.”

“Look at you,” he said. “God damn it. Nobody deserves to get beaten up like you did, McKnight. Nobody.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. He was starting to sound almost human.

“Did they say anything to you? Did they give you any reason?”

“I’m trying to remember. They were saying something like… Like, how’s this, not the same as roughing up an old man, eh?”

“They said that?”

“Something like that. It’s a little fuzzy.”

He shook his head. “So the two Grant brothers and who else? Their sister’s husband, was he there, too?”

“How did you know?”

“I’m just assuming. If he was at the funeral, I’m sure he got into it.”

“So now what?”

“What do you think, McKnight? I’m going to arrest all three of them.”

“Chief-”

“We arrest people for aggravated assault, McKnight. Even if it’s you who gets assaulted.”

“I’m touched.”

“Just stop,” he said. “Okay? I’m not in the mood. I’ll bring a complaint by later so you can sign it. You might as well, because I’m charging them no matter what.”

I hesitated. Here’s where the young version of me would have protested. Hell, even the me of ten years ago. Don’t cooperate, tell him I’m not really sure who was there. Wait until I get better and then go find them myself. Get back my own way.

I didn’t know if I had gotten a little wiser, or if I was just too tired and sore. If Maven was really gonna go out and arrest them, I didn’t feel like stopping him.

“I’ll sign it.”

“Good,” he said. “Then you just get better and you go home, all right? Stay the hell away from them. In fact, you know what? Doesn’t your friend own that bar in Paradise? What’s it called?”

“The Glasgow Inn.”

“That’s the one. He’s got beer there? And good food?”

“Yeah.”

“So you’re all set,” he said, putting his face close to mine. “There’s no reason to ever leave Paradise again.”

I tried to smile. But that hurt, too.

“I’m going,” he said. “Goodbye.”

“Nice talking to you.”

He paused at the doorway. “Have you seen yourself yet?”

“What?”

“You know, in a mirror. Has somebody shown you what you look like?”

“No.”

For the first time since he had come in, he smiled. “Just wait a couple of days,” he said. “You’ll be able to sell tickets.”

The next forty-eight hours passed like slow death. Leon stopped in to see me. Then Vinnie. Leon was happy to hear that Chief Maven was on his way to arrest the three men. Vinnie wanted to cut out the middleman and just go find them himself. I told him to back off for now. When the time came, I’d let him know.

I tried to watch television, but that made my eyes hurt. I couldn’t read anything at all. I sure as hell couldn’t sleep. They brought me drugs every four hours and I’d sit there for a moment looking at the pills. I had my own reasons for thinking twice about taking them. But those reasons weren’t enough to stop me.

I got out of bed on the second day and made it to the bathroom before throwing up in the sink. By the end of that day I could sit up in the bed and turn my head without making the room spin. I slept a few hours that night.

On the third day, Dr. Glenn came through on the morning rounds and gave me three random words to remember. Then he went through all his tests. When he was done, he asked me to repeat the words back to him.

“What words?” I said.

He looked at me.

“Table, bicycle, chair,” I said.

“Congratulations. You get to go home and rest for the next seven days. Then you need to come back for another checkup, and to have your stitches taken out. If you start to feel worse, you need to call me right away.” He gave me his card.

“Thanks, doc.”

“You lead an interesting life,” he said. “I’ll give you that.”

Vinnie showed up not long after that to take me home. I put my clothes on. Then they stuck me in a wheelchair and rolled me out of the place.

“To the ice arena,” I said. “I feel like playing hockey.” The sun was out, glittering all over the white snow and making my head hurt enough to die right there in the parking lot.

“Come on,” he said. “Let’s get you home.”

“Take me to my truck.”

“No way.”

“Vinnie, just take me to my truck, all right? I can drive it home.”

“It’s not gonna happen,” he said. Then I saw his cousin Buck pull up in his beat-up old Plymouth Fury.

“You gotta be kidding me,” I said. “I’m getting a ride home in this?”

“No, just to your truck,” Vinnie said. “Then I’ll drive you home.”

Vinnie climbed into the backseat and gave me the front. Buck looked me over a couple of times and gave a low whistle. “Man, you got run over,” he said. He pulled out and drove down the street toward the church.

“You ever get your license back?” I asked him.

He shrugged that one off. He was a big, round man, with dark hair falling halfway down his back.

“It’s one thing to drive around the rez,” I said. “They catch you in the Soo, it’s gonna be a different story.”

“Alex, give him a break,” Vinnie said from the backseat. “He’s doing you a favor.”

“I know that, Vinnie. I just don’t want the man to go to jail over it.”

“All that working over you got,” Buck said, “and they didn’t bust up your mouth? You’re still talking too much.”

“Right here at the church,” Vinnie said. “His truck’s on the side there.”

Buck pulled into the parking lot and stopped next to my truck. It was covered by six inches of new snow, and circled by more snow on the ground where the snowplow had worked around it. I let Vinnie and Buck clean it off for me while I walked just far enough to see around to the back of the building. There was no trace of what had happened here in this one patch of ground next to the red brick wall. The snow had covered up everything.

“Alex, what are you doing?” Vinnie had started up my truck and was scraping the last of the ice from the side window. “Let’s get you home.”

I thanked Buck for bringing Vinnie over, suspended license and all. He surprised me by grabbing me by the shoulders and hugging me. “Take care of yourself,” he said. “You’ve got too much trouble in your life. Vinnie can’t watch over you all the time, you know.”

I wasn’t about to argue with that one. I thanked him again and watched him rumble off in his old Plymouth. Then I got in the passenger’s seat of my own truck. It felt strange not to be driving. But I figured what the hell. I closed my eyes and waited for Vinnie to pull out of the parking lot.

It didn’t happen. I opened my eyes and saw him looking at me.

“What?” I said.

“You gotta promise me something.”

“What is it?”

“You don’t go after them alone.”

“Who?”

“You know who I’m talking about.”

“How stupid do you think I am?”

“Alex…”

“Vinnie, look at me. Your mother could kick my ass right now.”

He shook his head and smiled. “On another day, when you’re better

… promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Vinnie. Right now, I can’t even think about it. But later…”

Later what? Maven was going to arrest them. At this point, that had probably already been done. Was that enough?

Or would I still want to settle things myself? When I was strong again, would I want to go find them, one by one? I knew their names. I knew their faces. I could find out where they lived.

“I’ll promise you this,” I finally said. “If that day comes, I won’t go alone.”

He put the truck in gear. “You’re damned right you won’t.”

As he drove, I kept my eyes closed and listened to the wind whistling past my window. I dozed off for a while. When I woke up, we were just hitting Paradise. He drove through the blinking light, past the Glasgow Inn, then down the access road.

“Looks like somebody plowed while I was in the hospital.”

“My other cousin, Henry. He’s got a plow on his truck now.”

“I guess I owe all of you,” I said.

“It’s nothing.” He pulled into my driveway and stopped the truck.

“Especially you,” I said. “Thanks.”

“Do you have your pills?”

I rattled the bottle in my coat pocket. “Right here.”

“You’re gonna take them?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Alex, it’s okay to take painkillers when you’re in pain.”

“I know that,” I said. “How come you’re so inside my head today?”

“Because I’m your blood brother, remember? I feel what you feel.”

“Get out of here, Vinnie. I don’t need you to-”

“Alex, damn it. Do I have to take those pills from you? I’ll take them and come over and make you swallow one every four hours, I swear.”

Once again, he knew me too well. He knew that there had been a time, back in Detroit, after my partner had been shot, and I had taken those three bullets myself… The pain in my shoulder, where they had tried to put my rotator cuff back together, not to mention the thought of another bullet left inside me, right next to my heart.

Worst of all, the sight of Franklin lying on the floor next to me, the life fading from his eyes as I looked into them. Those long nights when I couldn’t sleep. Those dark hours all by myself. That’s how it started.

“You know as long as you’re in pain,” Vinnie said, “you can’t get addicted to painkillers.”

“Yeah, that’s what they say.”

“Alex-”

“I’ll take them,” I said. “Okay? I’ll take them as long as I need to, and not one day longer.” I opened the door and got out of the truck. He did the same.

“I’ll come by later to see how you’re doing,” he said.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Says you.”

I thanked him again. He walked away, down the access road toward his cabin. It was a good day for a walk if you had the strength for it.

When I went inside, there were five messages on my machine. Three were from downstaters wanting to make reservations, one was from Leon, a few days back, wanting to know where the hell I was. And one was from Natalie. Just calling to say hello. Wondering how I was doing.

“If you only knew,” I said. I didn’t call her back yet. I couldn’t deal with it. Not yet.

My bruises had reached their full-color peak, and as I stood in the bathroom looking in the mirror, I thought to myself, Maven was right. I should sell tickets. The skin around both of my eyes was black now, and my eyes were both streaked bloodred. There was tape above my left eyebrow, and tape on the back of my head, where they had shaved the hair. The same hair I had dyed, standing right here just a matter of days ago, thinking that I could knock off a few years by hiding some of the gray. God, what a fool I was.

“You really did it this time,” I said out loud.

I took the bottle of pills from my coat pocket. Vicodin. My old friend Vike. I shook the bottle. Thirty of them.

On the spur of the moment, I almost flushed them down the toilet, every last one of them. I stopped myself. “You’re gonna regret that,” I said to myself. “It’s okay to take one now. It’s okay.”

One more look in the mirror, at the ugliest face I’d seen in a long time.

I took a pill, chased it with a gulp of water, and went to bed.

I stayed in my cabin for the next couple of days. I sure as hell wasn’t going to go down to the Glasgow and let Jackie see me looking like this. I took the Vike when I needed it. I ran hot showers and stood there for a half hour at a time, letting the water work on me. A lonely man’s massage. I watched my bruises turn yellow, purple, and green. Vinnie came by a couple of times, bringing in bags of groceries for me. I told him he was a good man.

On the third day, I got out of bed and almost fell right on my face. I had to hold on to one of the kitchen chairs until the room stopped spinning. The pain, which had been losing ground on me, was making a big comeback. I couldn’t eat much that day. The dizzy spells hit me every time I stood up.

The phone rang. I couldn’t stand the sound of it, so I turned off the ringer. I turned the volume down on the answering machine, too. It would take the messages, and I’d play them back later, when I felt like a human being again.

God damn it all, I thought. I took another Vike.

That afternoon there was a knock on the door. I didn’t answer it. Just the thought of getting up made me sick to my stomach. A few minutes later, there was another knock on the door. I stayed in bed. This time, an envelope came sliding under the door. When I finally felt a little better, I got up and opened it. It was a check from the family in the second cabin, God bless them.

Later, as the sun was going down, there was another knock on the door. I stayed in bed. If it was renters, they could leave me a note, or put money in an envelope like the family in the second cabin had, or just skip out on me without paying. I didn’t care.

One more knock, and then whoever it was gave up and went away. Or so I thought.

The door opened a few seconds later, so quietly I didn’t even hear it. My eyes were closed. My ears were ringing. I had no idea that someone else was in the cabin.

Until I opened my eyes and scared the hell out of both of us.