If Death Ever Slept

Chapter 14

That was twenty minutes past ten Monday night. At six o’clock Wednesday afternoon, when Wolfe came down from the plant rooms, I had just finished typing the last of the timetables and had them ready for him.

It had taken that long to fill his order, for three reasons. First, the city and county employees hadn’t got started on the trails of the Jarrells until Tuesday morning, and each of the subjects was given two sittings before Cramer got the results. Second, Cramer didn’t decide until Wednesday noon that he would let Wolfe have it, though I had known darned well he would, since it included nothing he wanted to save, and since he was curious to see what Wolfe wanted with it. And third, after I had been given permission to look at a selected collection of the reports, it took quite a job of digging to get what Wolfe wanted, not to mention my own contributions and the typing after I got home.

I can’t tell you what Wolfe did Tuesday and Wednesday because I wasn’t there to see, but if you assume that he did nothing whatever I won’t argue — that is, nothing but eat, sleep, read, drink beer, and play with orchids. As for me, I was busy. Monday night they kept me at 20th Street — Rowcliff and a Sergeant Coffey — until four o’clock in the morning, going over it back and forth and across and up and down, and when they got through they knew every bit as much as Cramer and Stebbins had already known when they took me down. Rowcliff could not believe that he wasn’t smart enough to maneuver me into leaking what I was at Jarrell’s for, and I didn’t dare to make it clear to him in words he would understand for fear he might see to it that Wolfe didn’t get what he wanted for brain exercise. So daylight was trying to break through at my windows when I turned in.

And Tuesday at noon, when I had just started on my fourth griddle cake and my second cup of coffee, the phone rang to tell me that I would be welcome at the DA’s office in twenty minutes. I made it in forty, and was there five solid hours, one of them with the DA himself present, and at the end they knew everything that Rowcliff did. There was one little spot where the chances looked good for my getting booked as a material witness, but I bumped through it without having to yell for help.

My intention was, if and when I left Leonard Street a free man, to stop in at Homicide West to see if Cramer had decided to let me look at the reports, but I was interrupted. After finally being dismissed by Mandelbaum, as I was on my way down the hall from his room to the front, a door on the right opened and one of the three best dancers I had ever stepped with came out. Seeing me, she stopped.

“Oh,” she said. “Hello.”

An assistant DA named Riley, having opened the door for her, was there shutting it. He saw me, thought he would say something, decided not to, and closed the door. The look Lois was giving was not an invitation to dance, far from it.

“So,” she said, “you’ve made it nice for us, you and your fat boss.”

“Then don’t speak to me,” I told her. “Give me an icy stare and flounce out. As for making it nice for you, wrong address. We held on till the last possible tenth of a second.”

“Hooray for you. Our hero.” We were moving down the hall. “Where are you bound for?”

“Home, with a stopover.”

We were in the anteroom, with people there on chairs. She waited until we were in the outer hall to say, “I think I want to ask you something. If we go where we can get a drink, by the time we get there I’ll know.”

I looked at my wrist. Ten minutes to six. We no longer had a client to be billed for expenses, but there was a chance she would contribute something useful for the timetables, and besides, looking at her was a pleasant change after the five hours I had just spent. So I said I’d be glad to buy her a drink whether she decided to ask me something or not.

I took her to Mohan’s, which was in walking distance around the corner, found an empty booth at the far end, and ordered. When the drinks came she took a sip of her Bloody Mary, made a face, took a bigger sip, and put the glass down.

“I’ve decided to ask you,” she said. “I ought to wait until I’ve had a couple because my nerves have gone back on me. When I saw you there in the hall my knees were shaking.”

“After you saw me or before?”

“They were already shaking. I knew I’d have to tell about it, I knew that yesterday, but I was afraid nobody would believe me. That’s what I want to ask you, I want you to back me up and then they’ll have to believe me. You see, I know that nobody used my father’s gun to kill Jim Eber and Corey Brigham. I want you to say you were with me when I threw it in the river.”

I raised my brows. “That’s quite a want. God knows what you might have wanted if you waited till you had a couple. You threw your father’s gun in the river?”

“Yes.” She was making her eyes meet mine. “Yes, I did.”

“When?”

“Thursday morning. That’s how I know nobody could have used it, because Jim was killed Thursday afternoon. I got it the day before, Wednesday, you know how I got it, going in with that rug held up in front of me. I hid it—”

“How did you open the library door?”

“I had a key. Jim Eber let me have a duplicate made from his — about a year ago. Jim was rather warm on me for a while. I hid the gun in my room, under the mattress. Then I was afraid Dad might have the whole place searched and it would be found, so I got rid of it. Don’t you want to know why I took it?”

“Sure, that would help.”

“I took it because I was afraid something might happen. I knew how Dad felt about Susan, and I knew it was getting worse every day between him and Wyman, and I knew he had a gun in his drawer, and I hate guns anyway. I didn’t think any one thing — I didn’t think he would shoot Susan or Wyman would shoot him — I just thought something might happen. So Thursday morning I put it in my bag and went and got my car, and drove up the West Side Highway and onto George Washington Bridge, and stopped on the bridge and threw the gun in the river.”

She finished the drink and put the glass down. “Naturally I never intended to tell anybody. Friday morning, when the news came that Jim Eber had been shot, it never occurred to me that that had anything to do with Dad’s gun. How could it, when I knew Dad’s gun was in the river? Then that afternoon at Nero Wolfe’s office I saw how wrong I was. What he suggested, that whoever took the gun should put it out in sight somewhere, naturally I would have done that if I could — but I was afraid that if I told what I had done no one would believe me. It would sound like I was just trying to explain it away. Could I have a refill?”

I caught the waiter’s eye and gave him the sign.

She carried on. “Then Sunday, the news about Corey Brigham — of course that made it worse. And then yesterday, with Nero Wolfe again — you know how that was. And all day today, detectives and district attorneys with all of us — they were there all morning, and we have been at the district attorney’s office all afternoon, in separate rooms. Now I have to tell about it, I know that, but I don’t think they’ll believe me. I’m sure they won’t. But they will if you say you went with me and saw me throw it in the river.”

The waiter was coming with the refills, and I waited until he had gone.

“You left out something,” I told her. “You left out about hiring a crew of divers to search the river bottom and offering a trip to Hollywood and ten thousand dollars in cash to the one who found the gun.”

She surveyed me. “Are you being droll?”

“Not very. But that would give it color and would stand up just as well. Since you’ve been answering questions all day, I suppose you have accounted for your movements Thursday morning. What did you tell them?”

She nodded. “I’ll have to admit I lied, I know that. I told them that after breakfast I was on the terrace until about half past eleven, and then I went shopping, and then I went to lunch on the Bolivar. Now I’ll have to admit I didn’t go shopping.”

“Where did you tell them you went?”

“To three shoe shops.”

“Did you name the shops?”

“Yes. They asked. Zussman’s, and Yorio’s, and Weeden’s.”

“Did you buy any shoes?”

“Yes, I—” She chopped it off. “Of course not, if I wasn’t there. How could I?”

I shook my head at her. “Drink up. What was the name of the girl who hung onto the clapper so the bell couldn’t ring, or was it a boy?”

“Damn it, don’t be droll!”

“I’m not. You are. Beyond remarking that they’ll check at those three shops, and that if you tried that mess on them they’d find that you didn’t get your car from the garage that morning, there’s no point in listing the dozen or so other holes. I should be sore at you for thinking I could be sap enough to play with you, but you meant well, and it’s a tough trick to be both noble and nimble. So drink up and forget it — unless you want to tell me who did take the gun. Do you know?”

“Of course I don’t!”

“Just protecting the whole bunch, including Nora?”

“I’m not protecting anybody! I just want this awful business to stop!” She touched my hand with fingertips. “Archie. So I made a mess of it, but it wouldn’t be a mess if you would help me work it out. We could have done it Wednesday night. We didn’t take my car, we took a taxi — or we walked to the East River and threw it in. Won’t you help me?”

And there you are. What if I had lost sight of basic facts? The circumstances had been favorable. When I first saw her Monday afternoon on the terrace, as she approached with the sun full on her, I had realized that no alterations were needed anywhere, from the top of her head clear down to her toes. Talking with her, I had realized that she was fine company. At Colonna’s Tuesday evening I had realized that she was good to be close to. Not to mention that by the time I was too old to provide properly for the family her father would have died and left her a mint. What if I had lost my head, made a supreme effort, rushed her off her feet, and wrapped her up? I would now be stuck with a female who got so rattled in a pinch that she thought she could sidetrack a murder investigation with a plant so half-baked it was pathetic. There you are.

But she meant well, so I let her down easy, paid for the drinks without entering it on my expense pad, helped her into a taxi, and had no hard feelings as I took another one, to 20th Street.

Nothing doing on the reports. Neither Cramer nor Stebbins was around, and all Rowcliff had for me was a glassy eye.

As I said, Cramer didn’t shake loose until noon the next day, Wednesday. I lunched on sandwiches and milk at a desk he let me use, digging out what was wanted, got home with it at four o’clock and got at the typewriter, and had just finished and was putting the original and a carbon on Wolfe’s desk when he came down from the plant rooms. He got arranged in his chair, picked up the original, and started his brain exercise. I give it here, from the original from the Jarrell file, not for you to exercise your brain — unless you insist on it — but for the record.

May 29 1957

AG for NW

(Mostly from police reports, but some from AG is included. Comments are AG’s. Some items have been firmly verified by police, some partly verified, some not yet verified at all. Too complicated to try to distinguish among them, but can supply information on items considered important from my notes. OJ is Otis Jarrell, TJ is his wife, WJ is Wyman Jarrell, SJ is his wife, LJ is Lois Jarrell, NK is Nora Kent, RF is Roger Foote, AG is either Alan Green or Archie Goodwin, depending.)

Thursday

9:30 breakfast with WJ, LJ, NK, AG, then in library until lunch at 1:30 with TJ, SJ, & AG. Left at 2:30 for three business appointments: (1) Continental Trust Co., 287 Madison Ave., (2) Lawrence H. Eggers, 630 5th Ave., (3) Paul Abramowitz, 250 Park Ave. Exact times on these being checked. Got home at 6:00, went to his room. At 6:30 cocktails and dinner, then to library; AG joins him there at 10:35 p.m. Bed.

Friday

8:15 to AG’s room to tell him Eber killed. 8:45 breakfast. 9:30 gathers everyone in library for conference about Eber. At 11:00 Lieut. Rowcliff comes, stays an hour, NK is present. Stays in library with WJ & NK; at 1:22 phone call comes from AG; at 1:40 calls AG, is told to bring everyone to NW office at 6:00. 1:45 lunch with SJ, LJ, & RF, tells them to be at NW office at 6:00. After lunch phones WJ and Corey Brigham to tell them. Phones Clarinda Day’s & leaves word for TJ to call him. She does so at 3:00 & he tells her about NW summons. Phones district attorney, whom he knows, & has friendly talk about Eber. 5:00 RF comes to library, asks for $335, doesn’t get it. 5:30 is ready to leave for NW, waits till 5:50 for TJ to be ready. 6:10 arrives NW, leaves 7:10; home, dinner, long family discussion of situation, bed.

Saturday

8:30 breakfast with NK. Has everyone told to stand by because asst. DA coming at 11:00. 9:15 Herman Dietz comes on business matter, leaves at 9:45. 10:00 tells AG to make himself scarce because asst. DA coming. 10:10 WJ comes in for talk. 11:00 Mandelbaum arrives with dick stenographer; 11:15 everybody is called in, except that TJ doesn’t make it until 11:45. 12:05 Cramer joins them, having just left NW. 1:35 Mandelbaum and Cramer leave. All lunch together except NK. 2:45 phones DA, can’t get him. Phones Police Commissioner Kelly & arranges to meet him at Penguin Club at 10:30 Sunday. 3:40 leaves to meet WJ at Metropolitan Athletic Club for talk. 5:40 they go home together for early dinner. 8:10 theater with TJ.

Sunday

9:00 breakfast. 10:10 leaves for Penguin Club for date with Police Commissioner Kelly, with him until 11:30, goes home & to library. 12:00 AG comes in and stays 10 minutes. 1:30 lunch with WJ, SJ, & AG. 2:30 to 5:00 in library, then bridge with TJ, WJ, & NK. At 6:10 AG comes to announce Corey Brigham’s death.

Thursday

Up at noon, coffee on terrace. 1:30 lunch with OJ, SJ, & AG. 2:30 to Clarinda Day’s. 3:45 shopping, information about where & when confused & incomplete & being checked. 6:00 home to change for cocktails & dinner. After dinner, pinochle with RF & NK.

Friday

9:30 goes to family conference in library in negligee, returns to bed, up at noon, eats big breakfast. 1:15 goes to park, arrives 2:30 at Clarinda Day’s, gets message to call OJ, does so at 3:00. 4:00 to 5:00 looks at cats in two pet shops, gets home at 5:15, ready to leave for NW at 5:50. From there on with others as under OJ.

Saturday

Told at 11:05 to come to library to join party with asst. DA, makes it at 11:45. 1:35 lunch with others. 2:30 to Clarinda Day’s. 3:45 to movie at Duke’s Screen Box on Park Avenue. 5:30 home to dress for early dinner. 8:10 to theater with OJ.

Sunday

Up at noon, big breakfast again. On terrace with papers. 2:00 went to park, back at 3:00, went to studio to watch television, is wakened by WJ at 5:00 for bridge with OJ, WJ, & NK. At 6:10 AG announces Corey Brigham’s death.

Thursday

9:30 breakfast with OJ, LJ, NK, & AG. 10:30 to 12:15, on terrace reading play in manuscript. 12:45 arrives at Sardi’s and has lunch with three men to discuss financing of play he may produce (two of them have verified it). 2:45 to 4:30, auditions for casting play at Drew Theatre. 4:35 to 6:30, at Metropolitan Athletic Club, watching handball & drinking. 6:45 meets Susan at Sardi’s, dinner, theater, home, bed.

Friday

9:30 family conference in library, then breakfast. Reads papers, waits around with SJ until Rowcliff has come & gone. In library with OJ & NK until 1:22, when phone call comes from AG; leaves, cashes check at bank, then to his office in Paramount Bldg. Lunch at Sardi’s with same three men as on Thursday. 3:00 back to his office, gets call from OJ telling him to be at NW office at 6:00. Gets call from SJ. 3:45 SJ comes for him in Jaguar, they drive up to Briscoll’s in Westchester for a drink, then back to town, arriving NW at 5:56. From there on with others as under OJ.

Saturday

9:10 breakfast with SJ, LJ, & AG. 10:10 in library with OJ until 11:00, when asst. DA arrives. 1:35 lunch with others. 3:00 meets Corey Brigham at Churchill men’s bar, with him until 3:50. 4:00 to 5:40 with OJ at Metropolitan Athletic Club; they go home together, arriving at 6:00 for early dinner, 8:15 to theater with SJ.

Sunday

10:00 breakfast with SJ, LJ, NK, & AG. Reads papers and does crossword puzzles until 1:30 lunch with OJ, SJ, & AG. 2:40 leaves for Drew Theatre to hear auditions. 4:40 leaves theater, gets home at 5:00, goes to studio and wakes TJ, bridge with OJ, TJ, & NK. At 6:10 AG announces Corey Brigham’s death.

Thursday

10:30 breakfast alone. To Masson’s, jeweler, 52nd & 5th Ave., to leave watch. Walks to park & in park, then home at 1:30 for lunch with OJ, TJ, & AG. 2:45 back to Masson’s to get watch; buys stockings at Merrihew’s, 58th & Madison. Arrives Clarinda Day’s at 4:00, leaves at 6:30, meets WJ at Sardi’s at 6:45. Dinner, theater, home, bed.

Friday

9:30 family conference in library, then breakfast. Waits around with WJ until Rowcliff has come & gone. 12:10 goes to Abingdon’s, florist at 65th & Madison, to order plants for terrace. Back home. 1:45 lunch with OJ, LJ, & RF, is told to be at NW office at 6:00. Rings WJ’s office three times, gets him at 3:20, gets Jaguar and goes for him. Rest of day & evening, corroborates WJ.

Saturday

9:10 breakfast with WJ, LJ, & AG. On terrace until 11:15, joins party in library with asst. DA. 1:35 lunch with others. 2:45 goes to Abingdon’s to look at plants. Home at 3:45, in room until 4:40, leaves, arrives Clarinda Day’s 5:05, leaves at 6:15, is late at home for early dinner. 8:15 to theater with WJ.

Sunday

10:00 breakfast with WJ, LJ, NK, & AG. 10:30 leaves for St. Thomas Church, 53rd & 5th Ave. After church walks home, arriving at 1:15. 1:30 lunch with OJ, WJ, & AG. Reads papers, looks at television, goes to room and takes nap, back to television at 5:30, is there with AG at 6:00 when news comes about Corey Brigham.

Thursday

9:30 breakfast with OJ, WJ, NK, & AG. 10:15 to 11:30 on terrace reading. 11:45 to 1:00 buying shoes at three shops: Zussman’s, Yorio’s, and Weeden’s. Bought seven pairs altogether, not liking to go barefoot. 1:15 lunch at party on steamship Bolivar at dock in Hudson River. 3:00 got car from garage & drove to Net Club in Riverdale, tennis until 6:00. Home at 6:35 to change. Left at 7:30 for dinner and dancing with a group at Flamingo Club; wish I had been there.

Friday

Up at 7:00 for breakfast & ride on a horse in park. Home just in time for family conference in library at 9:30. Drives to Net Club for an hour of tennis, home at 1:15. 1:45 lunch with OJ, SJ, & RF, is told to be at NW office at 6:00. 3:00 to Evangeline’s, 49th Street near Madison, to try on clothes. Home at 5:20, leaves at 5:30 with RF & NK to taxi to NW. From there on with others as under OJ.

Saturday

Up at 7:00 to ride in park, back for breakfast at 9:10 with WJ, SJ, & AG. Cancels tennis date because of party in library with asst. DA at 11:15. 1:35 lunch with others. 2:30 takes nap in her room. 4:15 goes for walk, goes to Abingdon’s & cancels Susan’s order for plants for terrace. Home at 5:45, dresses for early dinner. 8:20 goes with AG to Flamingo Club, home at 2:00 a.m.

Sunday

10:00 breakfast with WJ, SJ, NK, & AG. Goes for walk with AG, at 11:30 takes taxi to apartment of friends named Buchanan, 185 East River Drive, goes with them to Net Club for lunch, tennis, drinks. Home at 6:40, learns about Corey Brigham.

Thursday

9:30 breakfast with OJ, WJ, LJ, & AG. Library all morning, lunch alone there, remains there alone until OJ returns at 6:00. After cocktails & dinner, pinochle with TJ & RF.

Friday

8:45 breakfast. 9:30 family conference in library. 11:00 with OJ when Rowcliff comes. Lunches in library, learns caliber of bullet that killed Eber, leaves at 1:45 to go to see NW. Home at 3:10, in library until 5:30, leaves with LJ & RF to go to the meeting at NW. From there on with others as under OJ.

Saturday

8:30 breakfast with OJ, then with him to library. 10:10 WJ comes for talk with OJ & she is told to beat it. In her room until 11:15, when she joins party in library with asst. DA. 1:35 lunch with others. 2:30 back to library with OJ; he leaves at 3:40. 3:45 gets phone call from Abingdon’s about plants; she goes and cancels orders given by both SJ & LJ. Goes shopping, buys various personal items not specified. 5:45 gets home, dresses for early dinner. 7:50 leaves for meeting of Professional Women’s League at Vassar Club, 58th Street. Home at 11:10.

Sunday

10:00 breakfast with WJ, SJ, LJ, & AG. 10:50 goes to church at 5th Ave. Presbyterian, 55th St. Lunch at Borgner’s on 6th Ave., then to Picasso show at Modern Museum, 53rd St. Home at 5:00 for bridge with OJ, TJ, & WJ. At 6:10 AG announces Corey Brigham’s death.

Thursday

7:00 breakfast alone. To Jamaica race track, loses $60 I lent him, home at 6:00. After cocktails and dinner, pinochle with TJ & NK.

Friday

9:30 family conference in library, then breakfast. On terrace & in his room until 1:45, then lunch with OJ, SJ, & LJ, is told to be at NW office at 6:00. 2:50 leaves to go to 49th Street to see if he can get into Eber’s apartment to look for a record, if any, of the fact that he owed Eber $335. No luck, apartment sealed. Calls on a lawyer he knows, unnamed, to find out where he stands. Gets home at 5:00, goes to library to try to borrow $335 from OJ, is turned down. 5:30 leaves with LJ & NK for NW office.

Saturday

10:15 breakfast alone. 11:15 joins party with asst. DA in library. 1:35 lunch with others. 2:45 goes to Mitchell’s Riding Academy on West 108th Street to look at a horse. 3:45 returns home and plays solitaire in his room until time for early dinner. After dinner invites AG to play gin, AG declines. Goes to bed at 9:00.

Sunday

7:00 breakfast alone. To Belmont race track to look at horses. Home at 7:00 p.m., learns about Corey Brigham. Has given police details of his day at Belmont, but they are too confused & complicated to be worth copying.