Instant Attraction

Chapter 16

On the hike back down, Katie absorbed the gorgeous night, and the equally gorgeous man leading her. They were quiet. Content. And also on cloud nine.

At least she was.

Orgasms tended to do that for her.

It’d been a really long time, even longer since she’d had one so quickly, so easily, without straining for it. And she’d done the same for him. God, the pleasure of that, she could hardly stand it.

Cam glanced at her as they arrived at her cabin. He caught her smile and sighed. “Still?”

With a laugh, she pulled out her key. “I can’t help it. I love it here.”

He slipped his hands into his pockets and didn’t say anything to that.

So they were going to do this again, the thing where he pulled back and she let him. “Are you worried I’m going to want to stay, Cam? That I don’t know the difference between sex and love? Because I am leaving, much as I love it here.”

“You’d get tired of it eventually anyway.”

“Why? You don’t.”

“No, but I was raised out here.”

“So what does that mean, you’re heartier than I am?”

“Well…”

“Come on, Cam,” she said gently. “What you’re made of comes from inside. A person can look like a wuss”-she gestured to herself-“and still be made of stern stuff.” She playfully flexed her biceps. “On the inside.”

He cocked his head and studied her. “I’ll agree, one’s strength has nothing to do with what someone looks like on the outside.”

She reached for his hand. “And let’s just say it. If you’re made of sterner stuff than I am, it’s because of your childhood. Not where it took place, but because of what you went through.”

“Yeah, maybe.” He leaned back against the porch post, looking out into the night, his eyes reflecting his faraway thoughts. “Listen, I don’t know what you think you know, but I don’t want you to think-It wasn’t so bad.”

“Your mom left when you were born and your dad gave you up when you were eight, that sounds pretty bad.”

“Yeah, but him giving me up to Annie was a good thing, not a bad thing.”

Her entire heart softened at all he didn’t say, at how impossibly horrifying it must have been to have neither parent want him and know it, not to mention the abuse she suspected he’d suffered. Not wanting him to hold back, not when he’d spent too much of his life doing just that, she said, “He hurt you.”

He shrugged those carry-the-weight-of-the-world shoulders. “He had a short fuse when it came to me. I wasn’t his.”

“Do you know who your real father is?”

“My mother never said, and she never came back.”

Katie’s own parents, so reserved, so distant, had never been all that emotionally available, but this…this was nearly beyond her comprehension. “I’m so glad you had Annie. She loves you so much.”

“Yes, she had to. I was…difficult.”

“A knack for trouble, huh. Gee, what a surprise.”

“Oh, yeah. And for pissing people off. As I’ve been trying to tell you, it’s a particular talent of mine. With women in general.”

“Is that right? You don’t piss me off too. You frustrate me sometimes…” The acceptance of that was on his face, and she nudged him. “You also make me laugh. You make me think, you make me…” She waggled a brow.

He laughed but it didn’t get all the way to his eyes, making her realize just how little experience he had with people sticking with him. “I’m new at this whole taking risks thing, Cam, but you’re not. I’d think you’d be wanting to take a risk on us. After all, it’s a short-term one.”

“It’s not that.” He met her gaze. “Just don’t fall for me, Katie. I’m not ready for that.”

She raised a brow. “I don’t believe I said anything about falling. I wished for good sex, and got it. The end. Now I’m thirsty. I’m going in for a drink. Would you like to come with me and piss me off some more?”

He winced. “Okay, first of all, that wasn’t sex, and I’m normally much better at it. And, no, I can’t come in, I have to go check on the others.”

“You are good at it, and tell Sweetie Pie thanks for giving us some time up there alone. Good night.” She leaned in and gave him a kiss, which given the low, rough groan that escaped him, he’d dream about later.

Inside, she took a long, hot shower, put on a big old T-shirt, left out some cheese for Chuck-or so she hoped-and then was surprised to hear something outside. “Chuck,” she said with excitement, and opened the door.

“Not Chuck.”

Nope. Not even close. But she remained excited as her heart executed a slow summersault at the sight of Cam standing there on her doorstep. He had his hands shoved in his pockets, looking unsettled, frustrated, and sexy as hell. He’d changed out of his weather gear and into baggy cargoes and a sweatshirt, hood up, smelling like soap, shampoo, and sexy guy. “Change your mind about that drink?”

“Yeah. No. Christ.” He shoved off his hood, tunneling his fingers into his hair. “Yes.”

“I don’t mean to be bossy or demanding,” she teased gently, “but that glower is really putting a damper on my lingering sexual high from the mountain. So if you could at least try to look like you had a nice time until you’re out of my sight again, that would help my ego. A lot.”

He looked at her a moment, then behind him as if to make sure they were alone. Clearly not trusting even that, he nudged her inside, followed her, then shut the door.

And looked at her some more, which worked for her. “Hot chocolate?” she asked.

“What are you wearing beneath that T-shirt?”

“Not much,” she admitted, wishing he wore the same. Though his sweatshirt looked damn good on that torso. He had his hands on his lean hips, his legs looking longer than the legal limit in those cargo pants. His boots were as scarred as his poor heart, the one she wanted to hold in her hands and keep warm and safe.

Which was a little like wishing she could pet a wild mountain cat, really, because no one touched Cam’s heart.

He was doing his damnedest to see to that.

His eyes were stark green and filled to the brim with intelligence and heat, though minus his usual wry amusement. His mouth was a little grim and firm, and she had the sudden urge to kiss all that grimness away. “Okay, while you’re very pretty all sexy and brooding,” she said, “I’m going to have to insist that you loosen up-”

Which was all she got out before he backed her to the door. “I can’t loosen up. I can’t do anything with you thinking that what happened up there tonight was the best I’ve got to give you. It wasn’t, by the way.”

It was hard to concentrate with his rock-hard thighs pressing into her bared ones. The thick cotton of his pants felt soft against her skin, the muscles beneath those cargoes not even close to soft. Nope, they were rock hard.

And that wasn’t all that was hard. She had to touch, had to, so she glided her hands down his chest-

“Oh no, you don’t.” Taking her hands in his, he lifted them up to either side of her head, pressing in so that she could feel his erection. “I’m not going off early again. This time it’s about you.” Dipping his head, he ran his hot gaze over her.

She knew what he saw. Her shirt had risen up on her thighs, most likely revealing at least some of her sunny yellow bikini panties. The knowledge that she was so exposed made thinking all but impossible. “I told you, I got plenty out of tonight.”

He touched his forehead to hers. “I need another chance here.”

“So this is an ego visit? To prove your sexual prowess?”

He paused at that, and she waited for a line from him, a charming, arousing line that would melt her panties right off, as if they needed any more melting. He could have done it too. He was the master of charm when he wanted to be, and she already knew she was helpless against it.

But in a move that startled her to the bone, he went with complete and bare honesty. “Yeah.”

She stared at him, moved in spite of herself. “You don’t have to prove anything to me. You should know that by now.”

“I don’t want to prove anything at all, I want to show you.” He nudged a thigh between hers, gliding along the bare flesh of her inner thighs, brushing her panties.

Her breath caught audibly.

“I want to make you feel some of what I feel when I’m with you,” he told her.

Halfway there, she could have said-if she could have spoken, that is. As far as charming went, and arousing, it didn’t get better than this, but what drew her, what made her melt, was that he wasn’t just giving her a line at all.

He meant it. “Again, then,” she murmured.

“And then afterward, maybe I’ll be able to breathe around you.”

“You can’t breathe around me?”

“No, and I need to be able to breathe, Katie.”

“So you think afterward, it’ll all go away? This attraction? Is that how it works for you?”

“Yes.” Then he kissed her. Completely. Thoroughly. And good God, the man could kiss. He kissed all her thoughts right out of her head; then he kissed the bones right out of her body. He kissed her until she couldn’t have even said her name to save her own life.

It went on, long and hot, deep and wet, his tongue stroking hers, his hands letting go of hers to stroke her body as well, for how long she didn’t know. And when they came up for air, she could only stare at him.

Not breathing any too steadily himself, he offered a self-deprecating smile that went straight to her heart. His hair was messed up from her fingers. She’d gotten his sweatshirt off, his shirt unbuttoned. Her hand was over his heart. The hair on his chest was soft compared to the hard, hot flesh beneath. His pants were half undone, and the sight of his ripped abs upped her heat several million degrees.

Closing her eyes, she set her cheek to his chest and felt the beat of his heart thumping in tune to hers. “I’m awfully worked up here, Cam.”

His hand came up to her head, the other stroking down her back, slipping into her panties. “That makes two of us.” He squeezed her butt, then dipped lower, his fingers unerringly finding her and ripping a hungry sound from her throat as she spread her legs for him.

“God, you’re sweet.” He bent a little, seeking her mouth with his again as he touched her. “So damn sweet.”

“Not that sweet,” she managed, pushing his shirt the rest of the way off his shoulders. He bunched hers up to her waist to take in her skimpy panties. “Ah, man. First pink, now yellow-” His hands were shaky as he continued to lift her shirt up, letting out another of those sexy raw groans when he revealed her bare breasts. “Look at you,” he murmured.

“Listen, I know we already rushed-Ohmigod,” she choked out when he rasped a tongue over a nipple, then drew it into his mouth. “Rushed things, before, on the mountain-”

He made his way to her other breast and her eyes rolled back in her head. “Cam-Please. Oh, please-”

Her rushed, breathless words seemed to unleash him.

Them.

In less time than it took to draw in her next breath, he had the shirt off over her head, sailing across the room behind him, and his fingers hooked in her panties, tugging them down.

No slouch, she got his pants to his thighs, freeing his essentials.

And, oh God, his essentials…He was big and hard and hot, and her being so naked while he was still relatively clothed was a shocking turn-on. But before she could take the time to fully admire what she held in both her hands, he’d crouched down and gently spread her legs farther; then he leaned in and put his mouth on her, stroking her with his tongue.

Her bones liquefied. She dug her fingers into his shoulders for an anchor in her spinning world while he added his fingers to the mix, sliding one inside her as he flicked his tongue over the current center of her universe. Her hips pushed at him in slow, rocking circles that she couldn’t control. “Cam,” she gasped, on the edge, the very edge, and when he responded by sucking her gently into his mouth, she took a flying leap.

She was anchored upright by his hands on her hips, which turned out to be all that kept her from sinking to the floor. When the blood pumping through her veins dulled to a low roar, she blinked her vision clear. His eyes were blazing with male satisfaction, while his entire body practically vibrated with tension as he straightened, a condom in his fingers. Her hands bumped into his as she tried to help roll it over the length of him, but all she really accomplished was making herself hotter. Him, too, if his heavy breathing and the sheen of sweat on his brow meant anything. He lifted her up, thunked her against the door, and then with one thrust was inside her.

Filling her nearly to bursting.

God, oh God. He began to move and she moaned at the withdrawal, gasped at the delicious return as he held her trapped to the wall for his achingly slow thrusts. His hold on her hips prevented her from speeding him up, or from taking any more than he gave. He was in charge, completely, and the knowledge of that had her toes already curling. Somehow he managed to hold her off, dragging things out, stroking her with careful, purposeful thrusts that suffused her in mindless pleasure, taking her higher and higher, until she could barely stand it. “Cam-”

At the panting sound of his name on her lips, he made a rough sound, the muscle in his jaw bunching. “I know.” His mouth was at her ear, his breath rough and uneven as he stroked her with those fierce thrusts that kept pushing her up and outside of herself. “God, I know.”

Yeah, He was lost in her. And she was completely lost in him as well. Lost, and she tightened her arms and legs on him, holding him to her, which didn’t prove to be necessary because he had her as she exploded like a supernova. He had her and wasn’t letting her go; then suddenly she realized she wasn’t lost at all.

But found.

Found, right there in the dark, damp aftermath, against the door, gently cradled by the strong, silent Cameron Wilder, the man who, in spite of her promise to the contrary, she’d most definitely begun to fall for.

Cam woke up suddenly in the dark. He and Katie hadn’t managed to get more than a few feet from the front door, where they’d made some wild crazy love that he was still exhausted from, and were sprawled together on the couch. A tight fit, but he realized she was crying, sobbing, as if her heart had broken, which was what had woken him. “Katie?”

“No.” Her voice was raw and filled with wrenching grief, writhing as if held back by something. “No, they’re not dead, they’re not, they’re just trapped.”

He pulled her in tight, stroking her damp hair back from her face. “Katie, you’re dreaming.”

“They’re not dead.” She dug her fingers into his pecs. “Please don’t let them all be dead!”

“Baby, come on. Wake up.”

Her eyes flew open and she went stiff in his arms, breathing like she’d been running a marathon.

“Just a dream,” he repeated softly, and when she jerked out of his arms, he reached past her to turn on the lamp.

Her eyes were glassy, glazed over. Her skin was clammy and pale. She broke his heart. “Katie-”

“Water,” she said, her hand on her throat. “I need some water.”

“Okay.” He got off the couch, went to the kitchen for a glass, and when he came back, she was burrowed under the blanket he’d tossed over them an hour ago.

She didn’t move, but he didn’t believe she was already asleep. He sank back to the couch and slowly pulled her against him. She went willingly, pressing her face to the crook of his neck.

He stroked his hands up and down her body to try to warm her up. “Do you do this every night?”

“It’s getting better.”

In other words, yes. “Katie, do you ever talk about it, because maybe that would help-”

“No.” She shuddered. “It wouldn’t.”

She dreamed about the people who hadn’t lived, was tortured by the fact that she had, even as she’d used the entire experience to try to better her life.

And what had he done with his accident? An accident that had been his own fault, an accident where no one else besides him had been injured? He’d felt sorry for himself.

Talk about humbling. Heart hurting for her, he stroked her hair, her back, waiting until he knew she’d drifted back to sleep for real.

But it was a long time before it came for him.