Instant Temptation

CHAPTER 12

On the other side of the creek, Harley shivered as they climbed to dry ground. “Nothing like a refreshing stream to wake a girl up.”

“Really,” he said dryly. “Is that what woke you up, or was it when I-”

“Stop,” she said with a low laugh, and shivered-and not from the cold.

TJ smiled at her, his eyes warm with approval as he handed her a chamois from his backpack to dry off her feet. “I’ve taken groups out here for fly-fishing in the streams, biking up nonexistent trails, rock climbing off the cliff. Tough, experienced clients in much warmer temps than this, and every one of them would have been whining at what we just did. Hell, even Cam would be complaining.”

“So I’m tougher than Cam?”

He grinned. “Much.”

His smile had the usual effect on her, meaning she was rendered momentarily stupid. She was sitting on a rock, pulling her socks from her shoes, when he sat next to her, thighs touching. And then his hands were on her shoulders, turning her, pulling her back to his chest to whisper in her ear. “Across the water, two o’clock.”

A hundred yards over a black bear stalked the edge of the water, walking away from them, her shoulders moving powerfully with each step. Behind her rollicked two bear cubs, waiting for mama to catch breakfast.

Harley’s breath caught in her throat as she slipped her hand into her backpack for her camera and started snapping.

They watched in awed silence as the bear charged into the churning water, splashing, pouncing, striking out with a plate-sized paw, coming back up with a large fish in its mouth. Fur dripping, she turned to her babies, who were far more interested in romping at the water’s edge than eating. Mama admonished them with a nudge, and they wandered off.

When they were gone, Harley realized she was practically in TJ’s lap, and his arms were around her. “Don’t get much of that from behind my computer.”

He watched as she put away the camera and reached for her shoes. “This Colorado job. It’s a research position then? No fieldwork?”

“Almost all research, with very little if any fieldwork.”

He didn’t say a word. And she didn’t either. But she thought maybe he was wondering why she’d chosen research instead of field study.

At the moment, she was wondering the same. Concentrating on that, she tugged her laces tight, and one snapped off in her hand. “Crap.”

TJ went to his pack and pulled out the same pouch he’d pulled out the other night, the one that had held the smaller bag of Fritos. From it he withdrew…dental floss. “Shoelace.”

She stared at it, then slowly took it out of his fingers. “I think I’m in love with your backpack.”

“And my sleeping bag.”

“Yeah. That, too.”

“And my sexy bod.”

She slid him a look. “What did I tell you about that?”

“You said not to bring up your sexy bod. I didn’t do that. I brought up mine.” He smiled innocently. “So what else are you in love with?”

When she didn’t say a word, he smiled. “Let me guess. Me.”

“Ha.”

He went quiet a moment. “There are all kinds of love, Harley.”

This stopped her. “How many kinds?”

“Well, there’s the deeply affectionate kind,” he pointed out. “Like you’d feel for family. Although sometimes it’s more…murderous than deep affection.”

“I’ll buy that,” she said.

“And then there’s the love you feel for someone you’re attracted to.”

“You mean lust,” she corrected.

“That, too, but I’m talking about more than one hot night. Like maybe you want to be with that person-for now.”

She eyed him, curious. Was he talking about them? “Without the commitment.”

“Yeah.”

“For people who have a short attention span, or are afraid to go deeper.”

“Maybe.”

“Like every fling you’ve ever had?” she asked sweetly.

“Calling the kettle black?”

“Hey, I haven’t had a fling in forever,” she said.

“It’s not the quantity…”

Knowing he was right, she held her tongue. For a moment. “I’ve never known you to be afraid of anything. I mean, I’ve seen you huck yourself off a cliff with your brothers with just a snowboard on your feet and live to tell the tale. I’ve seen you hanging off a rock that you free-climbed without a rope, nothing saving you from certain death except your own fingertips. Hell, I’ve even seen you face down a pissed-off rattlesnake.”

His eyes never left hers. “Those are all physical things.”

“You saying you’re afraid of something as simple as an emotion?”

He didn’t respond-which she supposed was answer enough. Who was she to press the issue, because when it came to that particular fear, they were in perfect accord. “So say you’re right,” she said, needing to lighten the mood. “And that there are all kinds of love.

“Yeah?”

“Then I guess it is entirely possible that I love you.”

He tripped over his own feet, something she’d never, ever, seen him do, and she smiled. “In the way I loved watching those bears,” she continued. “With a healthy respect and a good amount of distance for my well-being.”

“Now who’s the funny one?” he asked.

TJ followed Harley to the broken surveillance equipment on the ridge. She’d put on a pair of sunglasses and some ChapStick, both having taken her a good long time to find in her backpack, which made him shake his head.

But God, he loved to watch her.

“What?” she asked.

“Nothing.”

“You’re smiling.”

“All right. Maybe”-he stroked a finger over her temple-“maybe I love you, too.” He heard her breath catch. “In the same way that we both loved that hungry, grumpy bear.”

She let out a low laugh. “So we’re even.”

“Even.”

At the ridge, Harley sat next to the nonfunctioning camera equipment and got to work while TJ accessed his messages. Stone had two client calls for him to return regarding new upcoming winter trips. Good. Cam needed TJ to go for a tux fitting before Katie killed him-not good. And Nick had a question for Harley. “Nick wants to know if you’ve kicked my ass yet.”

“It’s still a possibility.”

TJ grinned. “Do you want to check in with anyone?”

“Most definitely not.” She shrugged at his unspoken question. “The joys of family.”

There were plenty of times he and his brothers drove each other halfway to the insane asylum, but they had each others’ backs, always.

Harley’s parents weren’t together, but they got along. They didn’t get drunk and beat on their kids, they’d always managed to put food on the table, and yet he knew, sweet and kind as they were, that Harley absolutely did not get the same support from her family that he got from his.

Her parents let their whims drive them. Whatever happened, happened. Harley had always needed more than that whimsical existence, and her hopes and dreams baffled her family. They loved her but didn’t understand her.

In spite of that basic lack of understanding and support, Harley had grown up incredibly strong, solidly grounded, and was the most softhearted person he knew. Not that she’d thank him for that assessment. She didn’t like to be soft, and she didn’t do need. Ever. “I know you’re working so hard to help out your parents,” he said. “And Skye. If you ever need-”

“I don’t.” She glanced over and sent him a smile to gentle her tone. “And you’d do the same thing if you had to for your family. You have done the same thing.”

So she remembered. Remembered what it was like for him to be the oldest, to put everything in his teenage life aside to make sure Cam and Stone were cared for. “That was all a long time ago.”

“You don’t talk much about growing up,” she said quietly. “Even though I know it was bad. Especially when your father was still alive.”

Everyone in Wishful had known his father and his infamous temper. He’d been a pro bull rider who’d been rough on his animals and rougher on his sons. Mostly the youngest, Cam, who TJ had stepped in to protect whenever he could, usually at his own peril. “Like I said, it was a long time ago.”

“And yet you make sure to spend as much time away from here as you can.”

“I’m an expedition and adventure guide,” he said. “By the very definition, I have to be gone.”

“Your brothers are guides, too. But they don’t do the three-month Alaska trips, one right after another. They don’t traipse across Canada or wherever. They stick.”

“And because they do, I go,” he said. “Look, someone’s got to do those trips. They’re high-end, big-bucks trips that provide us with the majority of our income.”

“TJ,” she said with terrifying gentleness. “Now who’s the liar?” She held his gaze, letting that sink in. “You and I both know that there’s plenty of business right here. At home.”

Since that happened to be true, he said nothing.

“So what are you running from?”

Well, hell. How she’d turned this around on him, he had no idea. “I’ll tell if you tell.”

“You will not.”

“I will,” he said, and waited while she gave him a long, considering look.

Finally, she blew out a sigh. “I’m running from the poverty on my heels and a possible lifetime of dirty fingernails.” She flashed him a tight smile. “I don’t want to be like my mom, always needing to depend on others, always in a bind, always unhappy. I want to have a job that fulfills me and pays the bills.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” he said.

She nodded her agreement of that, then gestured to him. “Now you.”

“The camera…”

She patted it. “It’s going to make it. It’s motion-and air pressure-sensitive, and calibrated to allow for winds up to fifty miles per hour. But that windstorm we had last week, with the gusts up to seventy-five miles per hour, knocked it out of whack. I’ve reset it.” She arched a brow. “Now you,” she repeated.

Fuck. “Okay, it’s like this. When I was young and I needed to escape, I’d hit the trail.” He didn’t go into what he’d needed to escape from. “Depending on the season, I’d grab my bike or my skis and I’d vanish.” No drunk-ass father, no school, nothing but his own wits. “Now I no longer need to run from anything, but…”

“It’s still your go to,” she said softly, understanding in her warm eyes. “Your escape.”

“Yeah.” He let out a long, slow breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and lifted a shoulder. “It’s where I feel the most…alive,” he said simply. “But now, lately…” He shook his head. “The lodge is all weddings and babies and kittens. I’m surprised there’s not a fucking rainbow hanging over the roof. Cam took flowers to Katie at her office.”

She laughed. “That’s sweet.”

“He’s done it every day this week. It’s some sort of an anniversary thing. You can’t even see Katie at her desk anymore. It’s like she’s working in a florist shop. And then there’s Stone. He’s still trying to rope Emma in, so he’s doing all this shit to impress her, and getting himself hurt so she has to treat him. The guy is a walking Band-Aid.”

“It’s love, TJ. Not some lesser degree of love, but the real deal.”

“It’s a little over the top.”

She was quiet a moment. “You don’t believe in the real deal love?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Then what? What about the real deal love gets to you?”

How about it hurt like hell? “Like I said, there are all kinds of love,” he said carefully. “Something different for everybody. This kind, this ‘real deal’ as you call it, I’m not sure it’s for everyone, that’s all.”

She looked at him for a long moment. “I know this will shock you, but I happen to agree with you.”

Once again he found himself letting out a long breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding. He couldn’t help it. She kept surprising him, kept worming her way into his heart.

And making him rethink his stance on just about everything, including the whole love thing. He took her hand and ran a thumb over her fingers, enjoying the contact in a way he rarely did with anyone else. “Did we just agree on something?”

“I think we did.”

“I hope it’s a trend.”

“Ditto.”

Cupping her face, he pulled her up against him for the sheer pleasure of it. “You were right before. You scare the hell out of me, Harley.”

“Again,” she said softly. “Ditto.”

“You might have been the one with a crush on me growing up, but I’ve had a crush on you for several years,” he admitted. “I don’t know why. I think it was all that bickering we did, it always made me”-he flashed her a grin-“hot.”

She rolled her eyes and made him laugh.

“Every party, every get-together, every pool game, it all drove me crazy,” he said.

“You never said.”

“I hid it behind a helluva lot of long trips.” He smiled grimly. “And a lot of cold showers.”

She stared at him, her eyes soft. “I never knew.”

“I never meant you to. You’re not the only one who can hide their feelings.” He nudged her in even closer. “The truth is, Harley, what I feel for you could slip right past lust into uncharted waters if I let it.”

She swallowed hard. “If you let it?”

“Don’t worry. I’m working on it.”

“Okay.” She nodded, but then shook her head and closed her eyes. “Maybe we should go back to the bickering. Bickering was so easy.”

“Think we can?” He nudged her with his knee, slid a hand up her back, and felt her practically melt into him, which was more than a little gratifying. “Really?”

She left her eyes closed and dropped her head to his shoulder. “We can try like hell.” The doubt was heavy in her voice. “We’re both tough, we’re fighters. We can do this.”

“Yeah.” But a small part of him wondered if they were fighting a battle that had already been lost.