Jedi Quest 6: The Shadow Trap

Chapter Twelve

Anakin sat, staring at the ground. He did not feel time passing.

Somewhere in his mind he knew he should find a comlink, find a way to contact Obi-Wan, but the thought was distant and he did not pursue it.

Yaddle was dead. He knew it, but he couldn't grasp it. A member of the Jedi Council, a wise being so practiced in the Force that she was a legend.

A being whose strength and wisdom the Jedi needed in these times. She had sacrificed herself for him. Because he had seen a thermal detonator too late. Because he had been captured. Because he had been tricked. A chain of events had brought him to this moment. At any time he could have changed his course. Instead he had blundered on.

She had saved him first, then gone after the bomb.

Anakin puzzled over that. She had risked thousands of lives for his.

Why?

Chosen, you may be. But for what? Your question to answer, it is.

Was that why she had saved him?

If that was the reason, he could not bear the responsibility. Her death was his fault.

A pair of dusty, muddy boots appeared. Obi-Wan crouched down.

"Something terrible has happened," he said. "I felt the Force surge, and then retreat, like a vacuum. Tell me."

"Master Yaddle is dead," Anakin said, his voice muffled.

Obi-Wan breathed in, absorbing his shock. "How?"

Anakin told him the story in a neutral tone. If he added his feelings to the telling, he would not be able to finish.

Obi-Wan was silent for long moments. He sat back on his heels and looked up at the sky.

"She went below for me," Anakin said. "She saved me first. If I hadn't been captured…"

"Stop." It was Obi-Wan's sternest tone. "Jedi do not go down the path of 'ifs.' You know that, Anakin. You choose in each moment what your next step will be. You do not look back in judgment."

Obi-Wan stood. "Yaddle made the only choice she could, and she made it freely."

Obi-Wan reached down. Anakin's lightsaber was in his hand.

"We will mourn her, but not now. Now it is time to be a Jedi."

Anakin took the lightsaber. He rose and tucked it into his belt. His Master's words should have made Anakin feel better, but they hadn't. They had almost seemed automatic, as though Obi-Wan didn't really mean them.

Even Obi-Wan thought Anakin was responsible for Yaddle's death.

Sorrow and guilt filled him up so far he felt he was drowning.

And then there was an explosion of light and sorrow… He had lost, in fact, everyone he loved, including Obi-Wan.

The vision had been right.