John

AUTHOR'S NOTE

I did not intend to write this novel. I intended only to find out the answer to a question that arrived in my mind one afternoon while I was working on another book. The question came to me out of the blue. It was: What was John doing the day before he wrote the gospel? I was not working on a religious theme. I had not been thinking of John or anything biblical, and had not at that point read all of the John gospel. But I had this question. What I wanted to know was something of the man. I supposed then that some basic research would answer the question and began a year of reading.

I was guided to the exhaustive work of Raymond E. Brown, one of the best-known Johannine scholars in the world. I read his translation of and commentary on John and the John epistles, as well as his study 'The Community of the Beloved Disciple', which attempts to reconstruct the history of one Christian community in the first century, and I would urge anyone seeking an in-depth historical perspective on the Johannine community to read his work. Through Brown I was led to other commentators, to Edwyn Hoskyns, Charles Kingsley Barnett, Robert Lightfoot, Willem Grossouw, Alan Robinson, Rudolf Schnackenburg, and many others. It quickly became apparent there was a vast Johannine literature, and within it were whole cycles of interpretation.

There are theories of all kinds surrounding this gospel. There was extreme scepticism; by some the gospel was dated late, even late into the second century. There was no connection between it and John, the son of Zebedee. For some there was no connection between the John gospel and the John epistles. Some commentators argue for three Johns; others that John is merely a name attached to the work of a community of Christians in the second century. It is only in more recent times that the author of the gospel is having his status as an orthodox Christian restored, with some commentators suggesting he may in fact have something to do with John, son of Zebedee. I have no doubt that there are already as many challengers of this interpretation as there are supporters.

A year in research and I was no closer to answering the question. There were few facts. It seemed a John had been exiled on Patmos. A John is believed to have died in Ephesus. But outside of these glimpses, I had begun to sense a man. As a novelist, I write not to tell what I think, but to find out what I feel. I began imagining a man. This was a very old man who had met Jesus of Nazareth when he himself was still a youth. What would it be like? What would it be like to have the most profound experience of your life when you were that young, to have witnessed what he had witnessed and then be left alone in the aftermath?

Slowly I began to understand that what drew me was the idea of faith, and that portion of it that is doubt. What if it was so? is the novelist's proposition, not It was so. So any questionable interpretations are my own, and should not be imputed to any of the sources listed above. This is a novel, not history nor biography. I hope it offers the rewards of a novel in depicting the inner life of a man of faith and doubt, and, most important, perhaps, what it might be to love for a lifetime.