Judas Horse

Chapter 26

Jack swam in and out of sleep all night. There were so many sounds in the air, he didn’t know what was real and what wasn’t: buzzers, nurses whispering, doors creaking, shoe soles squeaking across vinyl floors. Every two hours, the patient in the bed next to him had his BP taken, and the humming noise made by the cuff inflating made Jack dream of Bjarne’s ‘quiet as a mouse’ EC12 °Colibri helicopter. And every four hours, Jack’s own BP was taken. Every time, he part-woke and asked what time it was. And every time, the nurse would say, ‘Too early for you to be awake, Jack.’ Then he’d close his eyes and listen to her humming something gentle and soothing.

When Jack woke fully for the first time, Maggie was standing at the foot of his bed talking to Mario. ‘Hey, there he is!’ Mario beamed down at Jack. ‘Mags told me what happened. Mate, I could never be Old Bill. Mad job! But a ride in a chopper. Nice!’ Mario then gibbered on for a while longer about a bungie jump he’d chickened out of when he and Regina went to Victoria Falls. ‘She was strapped to me, so couldn’t jump either. Heights man! Turns out I don’t like them.’

Jack, not thinking clearly, interpreted Mario’s talkative mood as a good sign and tried to ask about Regina and the baby. But Mario was purposefully talking so much that nobody could get a word in and ask him any questions he didn’t want to answer. Jack saw his mistake the instant Maggie put her hand gently on Mario’s shoulder and the combination of Jack’s clumsiness and Maggie’s kindness made Mario cry.

‘The name Princess has stuck,’ he said through his tears. ‘Her first operation is this afternoon, so we’ve got a meeting with the consultant this morning.’ Mario looked at Maggie, knowing she would understand what he was talking about. ‘By the time she’s three months old, she’ll have had two more operations. And that’s if everything goes well! She’s so tiny, Mags. But she smiles now, did Regina tell you? She smiles at everything, imagine that... I hear parents on the maternity ward saying things like, “I hope our baby is smart,” or, “I hope she takes after her mum,” or, “I hope he’s tall.” I just hope my baby lives. She doesn’t have to be smart, or tall. She just has to stay with us.’

Mario wiped his face on his sleeve and, once again, beamed at Jack. ‘Sorry, mate, sorry. I came here to ask how you are and listen to me, blubbing away. It’s just the stress of today, you know. It’s gonna be fine. It’s just hard right now, ’cos we don’t know stuff. I researched this amazing new treatment in the US that helps stimulate the parts of the brain that don’t work. Brings them back to life. It costs six zeros! The medics may as well have said, “In order to cure your daughter, you need the still-beating heart of a unicorn.”’ Again, the tears welled up in Mario’s eyes. ‘It feels like it’s that impossible. But not trying is more impossible. So, we’re gonna sell everything we own.’

Mario, trying to joke, smiled at Jack and tapped the side of his nose. ‘Maybe some things we don’t own. Only joking, DS Warr. I’m on the internet every night learning physio for her arms ’cos...’ Mario sucked air in through his teeth. ‘You seen how much it costs, Mags? We’ll need 24-hour support when Princess comes home. Regina’s sister will move in with us and they’ll do shifts. She’s bought one of them camping beds so she can kip in the lounge, bless her.’

Jack was listening but he was miles away. He was with Hannah. Bathing her and fibbing about the noise an octopus makes. He imagined his baby girl not floating in his arms, not smiling up at him, not hanging on his every word. A tear rolled down Jack’s cheek and onto his pillow. Neither Maggie nor Mario saw it.

‘Anyway...’ Mario took Maggie’s hand. ‘Now I’ve depressed you both, I’ll head to the meeting. Say a little prayer for us, yeah?’

As Mario bounced out of the ward, waving furiously, Jack looked at Maggie. ‘Is she going to die?’

‘I don’t know. Right now it’s about keeping her alive this year, this month, this week. Actually, Jack, if you don’t mind, I’d like to catch them before their meeting and wish them both good luck.’

‘Go,’ Jack said.

As Maggie left, the humming nurse appeared at Jack’s side with the obs stand and announced that, for the final time this shift, she needed to take his BP. But before that job could be completed, Ridley appeared. The nurse looked at him with mock disapproval. ‘And how did you get past the gatekeeper? might I ask. This is your third illegal visitor, Jack!’ she began wheeling the obs stand away. ‘Five minutes, Mr Singing Detective, then you’re out.’

Ridley had walked down one long corridor and up two flights of stairs to get to Jack’s ward, and this was the fourth ‘Singing Detective’ comment he’d heard. As the humming nurse gave him a wink and walked away with a smirk on her face, Ridley swore blind that he was never drinking Pimm’s again.

Ridley remained standing as he explained that he’d signed Jack off work on medical grounds for one week. When he did come back, he’d be on desk duty for a minimum of one more week, at which point he’d have a fitness evaluation, before being allowed back to active duty. Jack, who knew all of this was coming, agreed without argument.

Then a memory suddenly surfaced, making Jack’s skin go cold. He’d forgotten about the diamond necklace! If he wasn’t allowed in the station for a week, there would be no way for him to return it to the evidence room.

Ridley squinted at him. ‘You OK, Jack? You’ve gone very pale.’

Jack frantically tried to gather his thoughts. ‘Sir...’ Ridley sat down to show that he was listening. ‘Sir, when I was going undercover with De Voe, I needed a way in. I needed him to trust me. And I managed to do that. That’s why he invited me to an all-expenses-paid trip to the races. Remember?’ Jack then got to the crux of the matter, before he lost his bottle. ‘I gained De Voe’s trust by offering to sell him a stolen diamond bracelet.’ Ridley’s eyebrows shot up and his mouth opened slightly. ‘I didn’t steal a bracelet specifically for that purpose, of course,’ Jack added quickly, ‘but I did borrow one that I knew was stolen.’

Jack gave Ridley time to process his confession. Jack saw the look in Ridley’s eyes and knew that he’d lost his alliance. Ridley had figured out that Jack must have taken the stolen bracelet from the evidence store, and that he had no option but to confess now, because now he needed someone to put it back for him.

Ridley then asked the one question Jack didn’t want to answer. ‘Would you have told me if you didn’t have to?’

Jack couldn’t say ‘yes’, as that would be an obvious lie. And he couldn’t say ‘no’, as that would be insulting and disrespectful.

‘My intention wasn’t to involve you at all, sir. My intention was to insinuate myself into De Voe’s life quickly because I didn’t have time for anything else.’

Ridley sat back in his chair and shook his head, containing his frustration as best he could. ‘Where’s the bracelet now?’

Jack tried to lean down to open his bedside locker, but his back instantly seized up and he flinched in pain. Ridley pulled the locker door open, fished out the rucksack and started to unzip the main compartment. ‘Front pocket!’ Jack said quickly. Ridley’s hands moved to the front pocket. He took out the diamond bracelet, stuffed the rucksack back into the bedside locker and stood up.

‘Sir... thank you. I never meant to put you in this position. I hope you know that.’

‘I do know that, yes.’ Ridley closed his fist around the bracelet. ‘Because I know that when you took this, you never actually gave me a second’s thought. And that’s a problem, Jack. Each time you step beyond the boundaries that guide us as police officers, you come back a little less like that man from Totnes who I employed two years ago.’

Jack, thinking he’d just made the biggest mistake of his career and now had nothing left to lose, spoke without his usual careful filter.

‘Good. I don’t want to be him. I’m better than him. Right from the off, you gave me shitty jobs, forcing me to realise that I wanted more. Then you made me fight for it. So, no, I’m not the man you employed two years ago, sir. But you have to take some of the blame for that. Or maybe the credit?’

Ridley remained statue-like, giving nothing away and Jack was certain that he’d blown it. There was no way Ridley was going to cover up the theft.

So Jack did the only thing he could: he hit below the belt. ‘If you decide to get rid of me, sir, please make sure I’m sacked. Don’t get me moved. If I’m going to continue to be a policeman, I don’t want to be part of anyone else’s team.’

Ridley’s eyes smiled beneath his furrowed brow. ‘Well... considering that moving teams would require a recommendation from me, it wouldn’t be an option, would it?’

Ridley slid the diamond bracelet into his trouser pocket and left.