King, Ship, and Sword

CHAPTER SEVEN

Admiralty in London was very crowded with so many ships being decommissioned at once, so much so that it had been necessary to make an appointment for a set date and time to begin the process of turning in all his ledgers, forms, logs, punishment books, and pay vouchers. Thankfully, a fortnight shy of Christmas, Lewrie met with the Second Secretary to Admiralty, William Marsden, not his nemesis, Sir Evan Nepean, and the whole thing was a fairly business-like and pleasant affair, not the ordeal Lewrie had expected.

Well, there was a half-hour stint in the infamous Waiting Room on the ground level, but the tea cart was set up in the courtyard and doing a grand business, with its tea lads whipping round with hot pots, mugs, and sticky buns, right-active. Lewrie had even found a pew bench seat right off after but a single glare at a Midshipman, who'd gotten the hint and sprung from his place to accommodate a senior officer.

Is he the same snot-drizzler I saw, the last time I was here? Lewrie asked himself, for the Midshipman bore a strong resemblance to the mouth-breather with whom he'd shared a bench in February. Damned if he ain't! Lewrie marvelled with a faint grimace of distaste to see him snort back a two-inch worm of mucus, then gulp. Has he been here every day since? Lewrie wondered, shaking his head at the no-hope's persistence at seeking a sea-berth, even as two-thirds of the Navy was being laid up. Don't he know there's a war… off? Lewrie japed.

To make more room for Lewrie a Lieutenant shifted over a bit, a very tall and painfully thin young fellow with dark hair and eyes, and dressed in a shabby and worn uniform coat, with a very cheap brass-hilt smallsword on his hip. Must bash his brains out on ev'ry overhead beam, Lewrie thought; maybe one too many already? he further decided as the gawky "spindle-shanks" stared off into space, lips ajar, and damned near mumbled to himself with a gloomy, vacant expression on his phyz.

"Good morning," Lewrie said, to be polite-and to see if the fellow was truly addled. Will this'un drool? he thought.

"Er ah, hem… good morning to you, sir," the Lieutenant said with a grave formality, then returned to his dark study.

"Captain Lewrie? Is Captain Lewrie present?" a minor clerk enquired from the foot of the grand staircase.

"Here," Lewrie answered, springing from the pew bench, giving the officer not another thought as he followed the young clerk abovestairs with his bound-together stack of books and papers.

A pleasant ten-minute chat with Mr. Marsden, then Lewrie was passed on to a succession of underlings, from one cramped office to another, even right down to the damp basements where clerks would work on stools and makeshift plank passageways when the Thames flooded in Spring; to file his navigational observations, to hand over ledgers and charts, the final muster book to make official those crewmembers Discharged, Dead, or so injured that they were merely Discharged, and for what reason. Finally, long past his usual dinner hour, Lewrie saw the Councillor of the Cheque, where his final accounting was toted up, the last full-rate pay of a Post-Captain of a Fifth Rate was signed and handed over in full (an assortment of ten-, five-, and one-pound notes on the Bank of England, with only a few shillings and pence in real coin) and his whereabouts, should Admiralty have need of him, noted, thence placing him on half-pay for the near future-minus all the deductions for the aforesaid Chatham Chest and crippled pensioners, robbing him of the eight shillings per day of an active commission, reducing him to six shillings per day of half-pay, but really amounting only to a low three shillings!

By then, with the money in his pockets, and his stack of books and such much reduced, and sure that he had seen almost all thirty of the employees who ran the entire Fleet, Lewrie made his adieus and trotted down the stairs to get his hat and cloak from the hall porter, looking over the Waiting Room in hopes he might espy at least one old shipmate before departing, someone who'd shared privations, dangers, and high cockalorums, if only to stave off the dread that there would be exceedingly dull times ahead, on his own, without such companionable "sheet anchors" linked to the bulk of his adult life.

One'd think so, Lewrie thought as he took his time buckling on his sword belt, settling the heavy and enveloping boat-cloak upon his shoulders; an hundred ships o'the line, an hundred frigates, sloops o'war, and brig-sloops… less'n a thousand active Post-Captains, Commanders, not ten thousand Lieutenants… ye'd think I'd know one of 'em in here!

Well, there were some he'd rather not encounter, this side of the gates of Hell; Francis Forrester, who'd made Post years before he had, the idle, well-connected bastard; that idle "grand tourist" Commander William Fillebrowne; that Captain Blaylock of the rosaceaed phyz back in the West Indies… Come to think on't, there were rather more than a few fellow Commission Sea Officers listed in Steel's Original and Correct List of the Royal Navy who'd be more than happy to play-act the "Merry Andrew," glad-hand him, then spit in his tea on the sly, or worse!

There was the drooling, drizzling Midshipman; there was that gloomy, tall, and skeletal dark-haired Lieutenant, now taken to wringing his hands, and there were an hundred strangers. Fie on it!

Lewrie clapped his cocked hat on his head and left, going out to the courtyard, feeling as he imagined an aging foxhound would when left in the run and pen whilst the younger, spryer dogs set out for a hunt… to be idly, lubberly, civilian-useless!

"An' there's a proper sea-dog for ye, young ginn'l'men. Merry Christmas t'ye, Cap'um," the old tiler bade him, doffing his own hat and making a clutch of Midshipmen round the tea cart turn to gawk and grin in polite confusion. "Merry Christmas, an' a Happy New Year!"

Christ, will he never retire? Lewrie wondered; or just drop the Hell dead? He's been doorman here since I paid off the Shrike brig in '83.

"And a Merry Christmas t'you," Lewrie answered back, with a doff of his own hat to the old fart, then in responding salute to the Mids as he trudged past for the curtain wall and the street beyond, looking for a hired carriage to bear him to the Strand, his last-minute holiday shopping, and an excellent, but late, dinner at a chop-house in Savoy Street, one introduced to him by his barrister during his legal troubles. Bad memories or not, their victuals were marvellous!

Well, after his dinner, before shopping, he would have to drop by Coutts' Bank to deposit his accumulated earnings, then call on his solicitor, Mr. Matthew Mountjoy, to settle his shore debts with notes-of-hand. Then, the day after…?

There would be no more reason to put off going home… home to Anglesgreen and the dubious welcome of his wife and dour, disapproving in-laws, all of whom held him in as much regard as a sack of dead barn rats! Lewrie would have thought "a sack of sheep-shit," but… sheep-shit was worth something, as fertiliser!