Kiss and Kill

Chapter XVI

Early Monday morning we checked out of the hotel and started the long drive to Westfield, New York. I figured the total distance at nine hundred and twenty miles, and planned to make it in two days, stopping over approximately halfway at Indianapolis. Mavis and I had to alternate on all the driving, as both Dewey and Helen said they couldn’t drive.

Tuesday morning I sent a wire from Indianapolis to Herman Gwynn telling him that we’d arrive some time that evening. We reached Westfield about seven P.M. and had dinner in a restaurant on Main Street. I asked our waiter to recommend a hotel and he told us to try the Greystone a block up the street.

I suspected this was the only hotel in town, but nevertheless it proved an excellent suggestion. It wasn’t very modern, but it possessed a wonderfully homey smalltown atmosphere, and the rooms were immaculate.

After we were settled, I phoned Herman Gwynn at his home, told him we’d arrived safely, and made an appointment to see him at the store at nine in the morning.

I took Helen along with me the next morning. In the past I had always kept my temporary wives in the background as much as possible in order to discourage possible speculation as to why a man of my pleasing if not handsome appearance and my apparent sound common sense had ever taken such a colorless spouse. But I didn’t have to hide Helen. I found myself actually wanting to show her off.

Mavis had picked three dresses for her, plus accessories, including three pairs of shoes. Today she wore a plain blue wool dress a trifle more conservative than the white knit one, but still one that didn’t hide her figure. Neat suede pumps with lower heels than the shoes of her wedding outfit created a smart effect without making her wobble as though she were on stilts. A blue cloth coat and a cute little felt hat completed the outfit.

Mavis knew how to shop for clothes, and Helen’s transformed appearance bore little resemblance to the cost of the clothing. Mavis had picked items more for style than lasting quality, on the assumption that they wouldn’t be in use for more than a few weeks. The total outlay for Helen’s entire trousseau had only been about a hundred and fifty dollars.

But on Helen they looked like Saks’ Fifth Avenue.

Herman Gwynn proved to be a plump, friendly man nearing seventy. He was obviously impressed by both Helen and me, in that order.

“Glad to meet both of you, Mr. and Mrs. Howard,” he said, pumping my hand and grinning with open admiration at Helen. “Your husband warned me he might bring along a new bride, and now I’ve met you, I can see why he wasn’t sure. Must have had to pry you away from a dozen other suitors.”

Helen blushed prettily at the compliment, but she didn’t look as totally at a loss as she would have a few days before. Already she was beginning to get used to being beautiful.

“I had to get her drunk and marry her before she sobered up,” I told the old man.

Gwynn chuckled. “I hope you’ll both be as happy as my wife and I have been for near on to fifty years of married life. If we arrange a deal, maybe you’ll be happy in the same place.”

He took us around the store then. It wasn’t a large place, having about a thirty-foot front and a fifty-foot depth. It was arranged much like the average hardware store, except that a good many of the items offered for sale were heavier equipment than would ordinarily be found in a hardware store. In the case of large items such as cream separators, there was only one of each in stock. Gwynn explained that he kept them as display models only, and ordered each time a sale was made.

The sales clerk was a brisk young man in his early twenties named Harold Manning. Gwynn explained that he was relatively new and was looking around for some job with more future, so that his possible layoff wouldn’t be much of a handicap to him. The female bookkeeper presented more of a problem, however, he said. She was a middle-aged spinster named Ida Kroll, and had been an employee of the store for fifteen years.

When I told him I planned to replace her with Helen in the event we took over the store, he said, “Well, she ought to be able to get another job easy enough. I’d give her a top reference. Don’t let her influence your figuring.”

After we finished our initial inspection of the place, I asked, “How big a hurry are you in to dispose of this business, Mr. Gwynn?”

He rubbed his plump chin. “Well, I dunno. Sooner I get rid of it, the sooner I can move my wife to a warmer climate. She’s got neuritis so bad, she’s had to spend most of the winter on her back the last couple of years. Just what you mean?”

“We’re both pretty enthusiastic about the setup,” I explained. “Even more so, now that we’ve seen the place and got a glimpse of the town. But we’re utter strangers in these parts, and we want a chance to see how we like the town itself before we jump into a business which is going to tie us here permanently. What I had in mind was to rent a house here and take our time looking over the business and the town before we made the final move.”

“How long a time?” he asked dubiously.

“Say six weeks. Meantime I’d make all arrangements with the bank, so that as soon as papers are signed you could get your full purchase price. Matter of fact, I was going to ask you to step over to the bank with me now and settle that part.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t object to your taking that long,” Gwynn said, brightening. “With the Christmas holidays coming up, we wouldn’t move that soon anyway. Sure, I’ll be glad to introduce you at the bank.”

At the Westfield branch of the Chautauqua National Bank and Trust Company of Jamestown, things went as smoothly as I expected. When we went in to talk to the manager, I let my exhibits do most of my talking for me.

The branch manager was a quiet-spoken man of middle age named Bradford Crane. First I handed him my bank draft for seven thousand dollars and Helen’s for eight thousand, explaining that we wanted to open a joint savings account for ten thousand and a joint checking account for the balance. Then I showed him my copy of my letter to the Westfield Chamber of Commerce and the Chamber’s reply. And finally I placed on his desk the neatly forged character and credit references vouching for my honesty and my varied experience in retail merchandising.

I wasn’t worried about any of the references being checked. When a man starts talking business by opening accounts totaling fifteen thousand dollars, even a conservative banker isn’t likely to be suspicious of him. Particularly when the loan he asks for is on a local business with which he can’t possibly abscond, and the bank would be fully protected by the mortgage even if the borrower defaulted.

Bradford Crane didn’t even hesitate. When he had finished studying my array of documents, he said, “I don’t think you’ll have to worry about backing if you decide to take over the store, Mr. Howard. This bank will be glad to do business with you.”

That completed the first phase of my plan by establishing in Herman Gwynn’s mind that I not only meant business, but was financially capable of swinging the deal. And it hadn’t cost me a thing.

It never would, of course. After the funeral everybody concerned would as usual be too sympathetic to show more than mild disappointment when I backed out of everything and left town to escape sorrowful memories.

The rest of that day Helen, Dewey, Mavis and I all spent house hunting. Herman Gwynn got on the phone, and through his contacts with the Westfield Businessmen’s Club, of which he was a member, managed to locate two houses for us to look at. As nearly as he could discover, they were the only two in town for rent.

The first one was one side of a duplex, and when we learned that it wasn’t going to be vacant until after the first of the year, we went away without even looking at it The second was a two-story furnished place on Portage Street, within easy walking distance of the store, and available immediately. It was only available until March, however, as the owners were wintering in Florida and wanted it vacated for their own use when they returned to town.

The downstairs consisted of four rooms: living room, dining room, kitchen and a bedroom. Upstairs there were two bedrooms plus a wide hall. An open stairway led upstairs from the front room, and at its top only a balustrade guarded the front side of the upper hall. I examined the twelve-foot drop from the balustrade to the front-room floor thoughtfully as we went up the stairs.

Catching me studying it, Mavis gave me a sardonic smile.

Then Dewey did something helpful for a change. Resting his hand on the railing as he reached the top of the stairs, he said, “Hey, this thing’s kind of loose.”

He shook it in demonstration, and sure enough it moved back and forth shakily.

“I better have that fixed,” the agent said.

I walked over to where the railing joined the wall, noting that the nails in the end posts had begun to work loose.

“Don’t bother,” I said. “I can fix that myself easily.”

I wouldn’t, of course. And I was reasonably certain Dewey would never think of it again, unless he happened to fall through it and spoil it for subsequent use. But it was convenient to have planted in the real estate agent’s mind that the thing was in a dangerous condition.

We all agreed that the place was ideal for our purposes, and I paid the agent a month’s rent in advance. We moved from the hotel to the house that evening. Helen and I took one of the upstairs bedrooms, Mavis took the other, and we relegated Dewey to the one on the first floor.

The next day was Thanksgiving, and we spent it at home except for a noon meal in a restaurant. We had to eat out because the women hadn’t had time to shop and the stores weren’t open on Thanksgiving Day.

On Friday I began my study of the farm appliance business while the two women did the necessary shopping and organizing attendant to setting up housekeeping. I spent the entire day with Herman Gwynn and his two clerks, going over the books for several years past, making a detailed examination of the stock and listening to the three of them explain the details of the business.

During the next few weeks our lives settled into pretty much of a pattern. I spent a good deal of time studying the business, meeting other local businessmen and generally getting acquainted with the community. One of the businessmen I particularly cultivated was an insurance agent named Richard Slack.

I never mentioned the subject of insurance to him, however, leaving it to him to bring it up at the proper time, as I knew he would. But I did arrange for the proper time. I invited him to dinner.

No insurance man ever deliberately sidesteps a possible sale. After dinner when we were all seated in the front room and I dropped the remark that I didn’t have any life insurance on myself, Slack went to work at once.

“Now that you’re married, you certainly ought to have some protection for your wife, Mr. Howard,” he said. “Not that I’m trying to sell you a policy. I don’t believe in taking advantage of people’s hospitality to talk business. But as a matter of principle I’m naturally a strong believer in insurance.”

Despite his avowed reluctance to take advantage of our hospitality, it didn’t take much urging for him to go out to his car and bring in his brief case. Within an hour of the time we had gotten up from dinner he had me signed up for a ten-thousand-dollar straight life policy.

Then he suggested, “How about your wife, Mr. Howard. Has she any insurance?”

Chuckling, I told him I wasn’t interested in betting on my wife’s death.

“That’s not the way to look at insurance,” he said seriously. “It’s not a gamble. It’s an investment. She ought to have at least enough to cover funeral expenses.”

He went to work on both me and Helen then, and ended up selling me a five-thousand-dollar policy on her life, to go in force in thirty days. After that he made a stab at selling policies to Mavis and Dewey without getting anywhere with either. Mavis told him she had a five-hundred-dollar policy to cover her funeral expenses and wasn’t interested in any more, and Dewey didn’t even seem to know what he was talking about. Finally he gave up on both of them.

I was satisfied with the whole evening. When it came time for the insurance company to pay off, there wasn’t likely to be much suspicion when the agent recalled that he had considerable difficulty convincing me my wife should be insured as well as myself, and instead of insuring her for the largest amount I could get, he had trouble getting me up to a five-thousand-dollar policy.